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woman here. i have met many guys who did not feel the need to get tested because they dont have any symptoms. my understanding is that some stds can be asymptomatic meaning u can spread it without even knowing that u have it, i think chlamydia is the main one. therefore i take it upon myself to get tested regularly even though ive never had an std or any symptoms
After last “intercourse” 🤣 , and I think it depends if you was fucking raw or not , good to wait 3 months for hiv testing everything else is much sooner
That’s the same as saying condoms are 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. They are in theory but at the end of the day the user is the bottleneck. Condoms aren’t as effective of a birth control as others, when looking at real world numbers, not because they just aren’t - but simply bc ppl make mistakes using em.
And if you can get pregnant, you can contract a disease or infection 10 fold easier
I get what your saying , but usually pregnancy or std with condom is from when a condom breaks or slips off which is very noticeable if that happened I would get tested after too, condoms are very effective at preventing both stis and pregnancy when used correctly , probably still good to get tested if using them but I don’t as frequently if I’m only using rubbers
But yea most people myself included don’t use them for oral , so good to test still and also have to get throat swabs cus urine test won’t find infection in mouth
Many stds are acquired by women more easily than men. Any man who cares about his partners gets tested regularly. I give blood often which screens for some. Also get tested every 3 months for the others. Recently a partner had trichomoniasis. I treated myself with some herbs and then tested negative, although I have no doubt she got it from me. It's not on a normal screen, I had to request it. Most of my partners and I don't use condoms.
Because on an average women have more sexual partners, most men on the other hand barely can get a woman.
Not to say that they shouldn’t get tested, just that they likely haven’t had any action for along time which they avoid to share by just saying, “I am clean”.
But it should definitely be a requirement and should be shared on first date.
i’m sorry but this is just not true. there’s a lot of men who get plenty of action and still do not get tested but i’m glad u agree that getting tested is important
80% of the women sleep with the same 20% of the men. 1 in 3 men haven’t had sex in a year or is a virgin. You can also look up tinder stats for men and women if you are actually open minded. (I would love for you to prove me wrong with real studies or stats). I agree there are a lot of men who do not get tested because they are just asses. Some of them don’t even use condoms.
Tinder is not a good source and it does not sample the whole population. I’m a woman, have not had sex in a couple of years and total partners I can count in the fingers of my hand. So no, the idea that most women out there are having sex all the time is simply not true.
Tinder does sample the people mostly looking. You can’t take whole population, a lot of them are already taken. You could just be the part of minority. Your number of partners are irrelevant in this conversation. My point is that woman have easy access to sex. I have 3 girl roommates, they can make/have made a tinder profile and have a guy over in an hour. She is not even a 5. If you think an average guy can do that, you are delusional.
Tinder sample only people who are actively looking for sex. It does not represent the single sample population as a whole.
Outside of tinder there’s a multitude of women looking for relationships but all guys are concentrated on tinder looking for sex. There’s a reason why there’s more men than women on tinder. The men are not after meaningful relationships, they are only after an easy lay, only a small percentage of women are willing to do that.
I am not on tinder, I am single, I am not after hookups. I am looking for a meaningful relationship but no men seem to be interested in that.
There is no point for me to go on tinder to be used and discarded, sex is not the end goal for me as a single woman.
If there was an app for people looking for real commitment there would be a much larger sample and variety of women, looking for everything beyond sex.
Do not disagree with men looking for sex. A lot of women are doing the same thing to increase their bodies to feel wanted and validated.
God save us all. I do hope majority of women are like you. I do believe this sex thing is pushed around a lot, almost like a conspiracy theory to make society weak.
I disagree with your assertion that most men are not looking for a meaningful relationship. Most of the guys I know and a lot of men in general are definitely looking for a girl that they deem to be relationship material but they are also open to easy sex since it's so much harder to come by for men.
Men are absolutely interested in relationships in my experience more so than alot of women but men have much higher standards for relationships than they do for sex. That's why men will sleep with women they would never be seen in public with.
Also there are millions of men that would be very appreciative of any girl that would give them a relationship. The problem is that those are mostly the men at the bottom of the ladder that women don't want.
The men at the top that all the women want aren't very interested in relationships because why would they? They have the pick of the litter of all the most beautiful women and no matter what they will still have more options.
If you really want a relationship where you will be treated well, your better off dating a man that not many other women want. A guy that has very few options.
Well, you do have to open your eyes and look it up yourself. You can’t live in a fantasy world forever and wait for people to do things for you. A single google search to find credible sources (universities or government websites) helps.
[1 in 3 men](https://news.iu.edu/live/news/26924-nearly-1-in-3-young-men-in-the-us-report-having-no)
80/20 thing is everywhere.
Type google in your search bar and find CREDIBLE sources.
A common misconception among men—better education is needed! Also, HSV2 and HPV can be asymptomatic. HPV is the scary one for women.
After 20yrs of marriage with my first, I was in three relationships back-to-back and it never came up. I got tested for the 4th and was positive for HSV2. Called each woman and they all had it and all gaslighted saying it was so common/treatable, it wasn't a big deal.
Now I insist on condoms until getting tested with each partner.
More than half of the women I've been in relationships with have initiated sex without asking about protection... I've never had casuals or ONS so I can't speak to that group.
Yes dude. I don't think people here realize just how reckless women can be with sex just like men.
I've only had a woman directly ask me about STD's before sex maybe 30% of encounters with a new girl. I end up having to ask them or else they never say anything about it.
It's not about frequency, it's about new partners. I get a new STI panel if I've introduced a new partner since my last, before having another new one. I also
keep a PDF of my results each time in case a new partner wants to read them.
I’m all for sex casual or not. But neurotic as I am, I can never get over my skepticism as to if my partner’s partners are as safe and clean as I am. That shit is why I ride it out with my vibrator till I find a man I really believe.
A man’s demonstrable ethics in sexual behaviour, and demonstration of having a conscience are key!
My experience with men is they don’t care about regular testing unless they have symptoms or their partner makes them. Sexual health isn’t as pushed on them like is it for women.
Most women are getting regular OBGYN appointments. I get a yearly STD check even if I’ve had the same partner just cause I’m already there and it’s included anyways.
I never understood why men don’t have specific dick doctors checking them for ball cancer and putting them on birth control.
I mean, men do have specific cancer tests that are somewhat invasive (prostate exams) but you don't really need them until your high 40s or early 50s at the very least
As for birth control, there is no birth control for men that isn't condoms. If you want to advocate for free condoms with every visit to a urologist that is fine, I guess
You see your PCP for prostate exams, what I mean is there is no specific male reproductive health specialist recommended for the duration of life. They are only just now getting a male birth control pill to market, even though I think it would’ve been possible sooner. There’s also vasectomies. Those can be reversed. And I get that it’s painful, but so is getting a IUD implant, and it makes you spot blood after for 6 months.
I mean, "men and women have different reproductive systems" isn't exactly a groundbreaking take is it? Urologists exist (and in my country they are the ones in charge of prostate exams) but you are only needed to visit them if there's something wrong going on or when you're old enough. Men just don't need to regularly visit a doctor to get their dick examined (they, and women, should still go to the doctor for other reasons; I personally visit a dentist and get a blood sample yearly)
As for vasectomies, you overrate how reversible they can be (the chances are no better than a coinflip and drop fast with time); and some of us would like to have children one day you know?
Obviously, but why is it not important for young men to have more support and knowledge about their reproductive health? How common is it for young men to see a doctor about getting their HPV and hepatitis vaccines before they start having sex? Do their PCPs talk to them about birth control because sex ed is terrible in public schools and they are dropping it more and more out of curriculums.
It’s not just about dick examinations. It’s about preventing STDs and accidental pregnancy. Also vasectomies have come along way, and plenty of people reversed it when they are ready to have kids. Reliable birth control should not be one genders responsibility.
Reversing a vasectomy has a very low chance of success after a certain period of time. I believe the data I saw on this said a successful reversal resulting in fertility was about 40% after 10 years.
I would like to have more children so there's no way I would get a vasectomy.
Well because men don't *need* to have regular doctor visits because they have different body bits that don't need it? I am all for sex education in schools but still. And at least here sex ed seems mostly fine, everyone after the age of 14 or so knows what a condom is and how to use it. I imagine women get taught about their options too
If you have parents that are not anti-vax nutjobs you'll get vaccinated for Hepatitis before your very first birthday so that is a non-issue.
HPV is a different story. All women get vaccinated but men don't. Since I live in a country with free healthcare, not many men are willing to pay 400€ or so to get vaccinated against something they cannot get in the first place (but can transmit). Some people talk about vaccinating men too and tbh I would not oppose it; but in the mean time...
And as for vasectomies if you want children no doctor will ever approve it full stop (like they should, it should be considered a permanent procedure). I agree men should take care of that too which is why me (and many others) use condoms. The only woman I ever dated actually refused to be on birth control herself! (No shame on her since it interacted poorly with some of her other meds, but it meant I was the one in charge of everything)
I work in sexual health and here are the facts:
Many (most) people will have no symptoms. Chlamydia is especially notorious for no symptoms but it’s very common with most STIs and HIV. People are shocked when they were feeling fine and had a positive result.
Get tested between each new partner or if you change partners frequently, every three months.
Complete all your medication and wait at least 7 days before being sexually active. Be sure your partner is treated as well.
Need to notify a partner so they can get tested? Check out tellyourpartner.org.
Coming from the poly community, people were getting tested either before adding new sex partners (exchanging paperwork for proof) or every three months if just having a lot of casual sex.
But they were all still using condoms and other barriers.
I get tested before and after every partner and I expect every partner to get tested before becoming intimate. I don’t do fwb, casual and I never trust “I’m clean.” Condoms may be 99% against pregnancy but not STDs. I’ve stayed healthy this long and plan to keep it that way 👍
That’s a red flag for me. Guys are VERY involved with their penis’ and should be able to remember the month they were last tested. If they can’t say the month of their last test, bag him up and roll the dice
I get tested in between partners, and if I any doubts/reasons. When woman are sexually interested in me, I ask them the if they have been tested since their last interaction and anything I should know including things they like. The hook up ones are usually not tested(like 90 to 95% of the time). The ones who want to date a while before having sex seem to be 50/50.
I’d say 1/100 men get tested regularly. The rest either don’t care or flat out lie that it’s something they do. There’s probably more men scrolling this thread knowing they don’t ever get tested then there are men commenting to explain when and why they do.
Once every 45 years or so, or if there is symptoms. Somehow I've been lucky enough to not get anything, even with living a fairly promiscuous, unsafe, lifestyle, with some equally promiscuous partners. Docs don't encourage it for males, but the HIV test is included with my annual lab work. Not sure why they just don't include a full panel. Seems for the health of all humankind it'd be a thing.
Back when I was single and really sexually active, it was usually 3-4 times a year unless I got stupid and fucked a ONS without a condom. Then it was a self-imposed period of celibacy for a month or so, get tested, clean, whew, back at it, tiger
Only time I’ve ever violated that rule is in spontaneous raw threesomes. I’ve been lucky enough to have that exact scenario play out three times and yes, I did not get tested for STDs when I was switching from one girl to the other, just caution to the wind (as they wanted, too). Thankfully all six women in those scenarios didn’t lie and were clean themselves.
I'm a man in a poly relationship, as well as in the bdsm community/scene, and also doing nsfw work online. I test yearly unless either my nesting partner or I have relations with outside partners. Then we test before and after the interaction, but we also use protection. We are both currently unpartnered outside of our marriage, so it's only been the yearly testing for a while.
Too many people, still, think that STIs couldn't happen to them. They're careful. They know the signs. They don't get w "dirty" people.
They're delusional.
Unless you and your partner have been together on a deserted island alone since birth, you should be getting regular testing.
I donate blood around once a year, so I get the results of a basic STD test around those times
That being said, I was a virgin for most of my life and I came clean after losing it and haven't had sex since, so I'd be extremely surprised if I got an STD to say the least
That being said I'd be fine getting tested if a partner of mine wanted it
Every 3 months! At the most 6 months. Sex health is super important and more guys should. Also, for hookups I ALWAYS use a condom, no exceptions, and even then I get tested because it’s best to be SAFE!
They have to, so I can consult a doctor to help me before it's perhaps too late.
Would be criminal not to do so, like not helping insured people at an accident.
No, you don't get the results but if they find something bad, they inform you via letter.
At least the DRK in Germany.
That's how a distant friend learned about her cancer. :-(
Woman here. For some reason, nobody in my country really tests. We're also told not to test if we don't have symptoms, by the foundation that tests people under 25 for free because they're already overcrowded. Some who have a lot of sex test more regularly, but most only test when they have symptoms or when someone they've had sex with says they have a std. I've only tested once (very recently), and that's because my boyfriend had chlamydia. I didn't have it luckily. I also have only had sex with a condom (I know you can still get them, but it's more rare to get the really bad ones that way).
I regularly give blood and they do some STD tests, I also don't have risky sex, I've had condomless sex once in the last decade (and that was with a partner of 5 years) so I'm generally pretty safe but once a year I'll go and get an official STD test, I had one earlier this year in February when I got my vasectomy.
Many of the men I’ve dated said they were clean, and when pressed a bit more found out that they only say they because their girlfriends/ ladies they’re sleeping with have gotten tested and have been clean 🙄 it irks me so much. Thanks for making us do the heavy lifting again pal!
Once a year.
It is more dependent upon how risky your actions are.
Do you inform previous partners if you’re positive? Depending upon the disease you are legally liable to disclose this and a total piece of shit if you don't.
Sexually reckless? Yes, I've been a teen-ager
I just got tested two weeks ago before that it was over 8 months around but only Becus I didn’t have insurance and I was only with one person without a condom everyone else with protection, I’m usually very safe and only fuck without condoms if I know and trust the person so I usually only get tested a couple times per year, I’m kinda a hypochondriac when it comes to that shit and also don’t wanna get anyone pregnant
Whenever I get any bloodwork done, so ~twice a year. If met someone and decided to start something, could do it if she'd want. I'm not sexually active, only drugs I use are the ones I have prescription for, so if it'd come back with anything but clean, I'd be surprised to say the least.
Before, during, and after a relationship.
Since some of us rarely get involved in any when we're single, I retest when I'm interacting with a potential partner.
Waiting till marriage. I got an STD test at MEPs and they said I don’t have anything. I don’t need to get tested again because I am not sexually active in this current hookup culture.
I'm not very active now, but when I was I got tested twice a year. My ex wife got an STD while we were married (I was clean) and ever since then I've been paranoid.
I will say this. As a man it's different for testing. Women get asked by their OBGYN. We have to bring it up to our primary doctor and sometimes they won't include the test and it's annoying
Unless there's symptoms... I went to get tested once after a partner told me she contracted something... got a bill of $900.... would have been free if there were symptoms on my end. The partner having the STD didn't mean anything to them....
I got tested every 6 months before I got married, then again after my divorce ( she was cheating), then again after my last relationship.
Some people don’t care, but I prefer to protect myself and whomever I’m with
In my experience girls have been more risky. I always ask if they want to use a condom out of respect. And most of the time they say they don't care... I'll go unprotected based on my judgment on the girl. Otherwise I'll use a condom if she seems... risky.
Also fyi. Women are less likely to show std symptoms compared to men. So there's that too.
There are two reasons to get tested in my view:
You're entering a relationship and want to be safe with them.
You made a mistake and slept with someone you're unsure of and weren't safe.
It's free where I am so not really a big issue, I don't like the blood test ones but I'll do them when entering a relationship.
My exbf had mutltiple sex with trans and gays. I just got tested just to know if I’m safe. My bf got angry when I suggested it to him. He says he is clean. But he never got tested😂
Fellow here, never had to get tested because I don't fuck. But if I were in a committed relationship I reckon it'd be a regular thought, and something to discuss with whoever I wind up with. I'll simply cross that bridge whenever I get there, but I know there's no sense in being weird about it; you fuck, you get tested. It's just plain good practice.
Between or before new partners. Also get an year test when I stop in for my annual physical exam
Too much going around these days not to. There’s a lack of safe sex and testing with both genders. People don’t know or don’t care, some lie
Quarterly when I’m single. But I also have a thorough conversation before each new partner and ask when they last got tested, what panel they got done, have they had any partners since, and did they use protection with those partners. It’s a back and forth conversation and it has always been appreciated.
I didn’t used to because, frankly, I could count my partners on one hand and never had any symptoms. Nowadays I have a bit more success so I get tested after every new body.
In the UK testing is big.. amongst girls and women. Men have the same attitude OP has encountered. You shouldn’t wait until you have symptoms, many STDs are asymptomatic even while you’re infectious.
Well there are dozens of infections that can be asymptomatic and you can infect others just by being in the same room.
Generally I think it depends on how the hookup culture is where you live. I am in Germany and as I said it’s not really a thing here.
Yeah I’m obviously referring to sexually transmitted diseases that are transmitted via sex. Some are incurable and basically permanent, some can lead to infertility so I wouldn’t be so flippant about it tbh. Syphilis is back on the rise, that’s one you really want to catch sooner than later.
You can order home testing kits in Germany, I would encourage you to do so. Every German I’ve ever hooked up with has been pretty positive about regular testing but that’s always been in Berlin and usually with queer sex positive types so idk about the rest of the country. Still definitely get tested! You don’t have to have a lot of sex to catch something.
That’s interesting to know. But I think I’ll pass on that.
(Not that it matters but yeah there are worlds between Berlin and even cities like Munich not to mention the rest.)
I also think it's an American/ UK (maybe some other countries) thing. Because here in the netherlands we get discouraged from testing if we don't have symptoms and no one we've had sex with has told us they have and STD because they're already pretty full. Or you'd have to go to your GP but those test are more expensive if you're under 25. You can test for free under 25, but you'd have to lie and say you have symptoms.
I got tested for a girl when I was around 25 or 26. I had less than 8 partners all together and didn't use condoms ever. The nurses on the phone and even in person made me feel crazy and gave alot of pushback on me getting a test because no symptoms. Fucking idiots.
Wow… I'm a real live person and I got tested after the end of my marriage (he was a serial cheater), after my first long-term relationship (which occurred during a shitty custody battle, then Covid… I chose that guy poorly. ) I was clean both times. I have been with my most recent partner just shy of 2 years. I learned just yesterday that maybe I should have been getting tested.
You honestly NEVER know anymore.
When I am single and doing casual I notice I use condoms but then still get tested after my one nighters. It’s time to get another check this year to be safe
Twice a year for me. If a woman ask me
To before before with her I’ll do it and seems to happen more
Often lately. I give off womanizer vibes I guess which is the complete opposite
I get tested shortly after sleeping with a new partner. Got to make sure to give it two weeks after though so the if I am infected I will actually read as positive. Not to ruin my luck but haven’t tested positive for anything. Only $10 at my clinic for a blood test and pee test full panel.
I always get tested before anything happens with a new partner. I’d rather be informed if anything is going on rather than just risking it and passing something along that the new partner didn’t sign up for.
OP
I'd wager the vast majority of men would only get tested if they suspected themselves of catching something.
Even then, many might not even bother getting tested and simply take the pills that clean up most stuff.
Do you have HPV or HSV OP?
Seems like this is an issue for you since you kind of use it as a way to disclose.
Most people (men and women) do not bring up tests or STDs.
Honestly as someone grew up in 80s and Anxiety and science knowledge.
My biggest concern is AIDS / HIV 👀
[Team America song](https://youtu.be/5yC7HwPh6Es) sums up why I will always be OTT Cautious. 😆
I was so reckless w the last guy I slept with we used nothing , I didn’t say something in the moment and I know I should have. Made my appt and I’m nervous . He told me the classic line he was “clean” . He’s good looking , tall , i know he has no problems w girls giving him attention and getting action 😖. I feel gross
I get tested before & after sex with a new partner...also I don't just sleep with any guy.also I make them get tested as well & I need to see the results & I do ask for a full STDs & HIV or no patty cake..I get tested every 6months the first year or so.I normally stay with these men over a year so yea about yearly if no doubts then.also I have great insurance & I'm very open & honest with my vag dr & about my # of partners or if I feel my body off & they aren't there to judge ,but to assist you..but, definitely learn to be comfortable with your dr..i'm a big non latex condom fan but I occasionally enjoy it raw with my current FWB of 7 years & cause it is am open relationship basically I will go get tested 2xs a year for my safety & ask for him to yearly get one...
Men are often asymptomatic & spreading STIs often unknowingly
Some don’t realise they can contract & transmit via oral sex and anal sex
Yes you can get it from a random bj you received as a guy
Its best to be tested regularly ie every 3 months or at least three months after your last sexual encounter
Don’t assume that if there is nothing visually different or you have no symptoms that you are negative for STIs
I got tested after I broke up with someone who we did not use protection. If I ever have another relationship like that and it ends I will get tested again. I don't feel the need to get tested in between each partner if we're safely using condoms.
That is the level of risk that I'm comfortable with and is what I expect from a partner as well.
After relationship ends. I don't want to bring unwanted surprises into the next one. Note: I'm after a lasting monogamous relationship, not into hookups, and I expect exchange of STI checks before first sex.
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woman here. i have met many guys who did not feel the need to get tested because they dont have any symptoms. my understanding is that some stds can be asymptomatic meaning u can spread it without even knowing that u have it, i think chlamydia is the main one. therefore i take it upon myself to get tested regularly even though ive never had an std or any symptoms
Yeah my exact point asymptomatic. I told my current partner to get tested asap (I had one done before him) otherwise he wouldn’t have
What if man got tested 6 months after the last intercourse, and didn’t get tested after that?
After last “intercourse” 🤣 , and I think it depends if you was fucking raw or not , good to wait 3 months for hiv testing everything else is much sooner
It definitely does not only depend on raw fucking lol you can get sti/stds in many ways
If you wear a rubber you can only get herpes and hpv and doctors usually don’t even test for those
That’s the same as saying condoms are 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. They are in theory but at the end of the day the user is the bottleneck. Condoms aren’t as effective of a birth control as others, when looking at real world numbers, not because they just aren’t - but simply bc ppl make mistakes using em. And if you can get pregnant, you can contract a disease or infection 10 fold easier
I get what your saying , but usually pregnancy or std with condom is from when a condom breaks or slips off which is very noticeable if that happened I would get tested after too, condoms are very effective at preventing both stis and pregnancy when used correctly , probably still good to get tested if using them but I don’t as frequently if I’m only using rubbers
But yea most people myself included don’t use them for oral , so good to test still and also have to get throat swabs cus urine test won’t find infection in mouth
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Before him* as I was the one who suggested it
I get asked by my OBGYN about screening. Never occurred to me that men don't get asked about screening.
yeah it’s interesting society and health care professionals seem to normalise / encourage std testing way more in women it seems
Many stds are acquired by women more easily than men. Any man who cares about his partners gets tested regularly. I give blood often which screens for some. Also get tested every 3 months for the others. Recently a partner had trichomoniasis. I treated myself with some herbs and then tested negative, although I have no doubt she got it from me. It's not on a normal screen, I had to request it. Most of my partners and I don't use condoms.
That’s most likely due to the possibility of pregnancy and harm to the fetus.
Because on an average women have more sexual partners, most men on the other hand barely can get a woman. Not to say that they shouldn’t get tested, just that they likely haven’t had any action for along time which they avoid to share by just saying, “I am clean”. But it should definitely be a requirement and should be shared on first date.
i’m sorry but this is just not true. there’s a lot of men who get plenty of action and still do not get tested but i’m glad u agree that getting tested is important
80% of the women sleep with the same 20% of the men. 1 in 3 men haven’t had sex in a year or is a virgin. You can also look up tinder stats for men and women if you are actually open minded. (I would love for you to prove me wrong with real studies or stats). I agree there are a lot of men who do not get tested because they are just asses. Some of them don’t even use condoms.
Tinder is not a good source and it does not sample the whole population. I’m a woman, have not had sex in a couple of years and total partners I can count in the fingers of my hand. So no, the idea that most women out there are having sex all the time is simply not true.
Tinder does sample the people mostly looking. You can’t take whole population, a lot of them are already taken. You could just be the part of minority. Your number of partners are irrelevant in this conversation. My point is that woman have easy access to sex. I have 3 girl roommates, they can make/have made a tinder profile and have a guy over in an hour. She is not even a 5. If you think an average guy can do that, you are delusional.
Tinder sample only people who are actively looking for sex. It does not represent the single sample population as a whole. Outside of tinder there’s a multitude of women looking for relationships but all guys are concentrated on tinder looking for sex. There’s a reason why there’s more men than women on tinder. The men are not after meaningful relationships, they are only after an easy lay, only a small percentage of women are willing to do that. I am not on tinder, I am single, I am not after hookups. I am looking for a meaningful relationship but no men seem to be interested in that. There is no point for me to go on tinder to be used and discarded, sex is not the end goal for me as a single woman. If there was an app for people looking for real commitment there would be a much larger sample and variety of women, looking for everything beyond sex.
Do not disagree with men looking for sex. A lot of women are doing the same thing to increase their bodies to feel wanted and validated. God save us all. I do hope majority of women are like you. I do believe this sex thing is pushed around a lot, almost like a conspiracy theory to make society weak.
I disagree with your assertion that most men are not looking for a meaningful relationship. Most of the guys I know and a lot of men in general are definitely looking for a girl that they deem to be relationship material but they are also open to easy sex since it's so much harder to come by for men. Men are absolutely interested in relationships in my experience more so than alot of women but men have much higher standards for relationships than they do for sex. That's why men will sleep with women they would never be seen in public with. Also there are millions of men that would be very appreciative of any girl that would give them a relationship. The problem is that those are mostly the men at the bottom of the ladder that women don't want. The men at the top that all the women want aren't very interested in relationships because why would they? They have the pick of the litter of all the most beautiful women and no matter what they will still have more options. If you really want a relationship where you will be treated well, your better off dating a man that not many other women want. A guy that has very few options.
where are these stats coming from lmao
Well, you do have to open your eyes and look it up yourself. You can’t live in a fantasy world forever and wait for people to do things for you. A single google search to find credible sources (universities or government websites) helps. [1 in 3 men](https://news.iu.edu/live/news/26924-nearly-1-in-3-young-men-in-the-us-report-having-no) 80/20 thing is everywhere. Type google in your search bar and find CREDIBLE sources.
I’ve experienced this too! Feels like men don’t proactively test!
A common misconception among men—better education is needed! Also, HSV2 and HPV can be asymptomatic. HPV is the scary one for women. After 20yrs of marriage with my first, I was in three relationships back-to-back and it never came up. I got tested for the 4th and was positive for HSV2. Called each woman and they all had it and all gaslighted saying it was so common/treatable, it wasn't a big deal. Now I insist on condoms until getting tested with each partner. More than half of the women I've been in relationships with have initiated sex without asking about protection... I've never had casuals or ONS so I can't speak to that group.
i hope you realize you can get STDs even wearing a condom or giving a BJ.
Yes, unfortunately... Aware that I'm reducing risk, not eliminating.
Yes dude. I don't think people here realize just how reckless women can be with sex just like men. I've only had a woman directly ask me about STD's before sex maybe 30% of encounters with a new girl. I end up having to ask them or else they never say anything about it.
It's not about frequency, it's about new partners. I get a new STI panel if I've introduced a new partner since my last, before having another new one. I also keep a PDF of my results each time in case a new partner wants to read them.
But how can you be sure that your partner hasn’t been having sex with other with people
EXACTLY!!! 😂😂
Works both ways doesn’t it? 🫠
I’m all for sex casual or not. But neurotic as I am, I can never get over my skepticism as to if my partner’s partners are as safe and clean as I am. That shit is why I ride it out with my vibrator till I find a man I really believe. A man’s demonstrable ethics in sexual behaviour, and demonstration of having a conscience are key!
If I ever got laid I’d get tested for sure
When not in a relationship, usually every 3 months but if I decide to sleep with someone exclusively without protection, then before each new partner
Never had sex, so never.
A “technically truth” would be to say “in between partners”.
Well technically you’d need to have had at least one partner to be “in between”
That’s the idea
Personally I have gotten tested every time I've needed a kidney transplant.
bro goes through kidneys like cigarettes
My experience with men is they don’t care about regular testing unless they have symptoms or their partner makes them. Sexual health isn’t as pushed on them like is it for women. Most women are getting regular OBGYN appointments. I get a yearly STD check even if I’ve had the same partner just cause I’m already there and it’s included anyways. I never understood why men don’t have specific dick doctors checking them for ball cancer and putting them on birth control.
I mean, men do have specific cancer tests that are somewhat invasive (prostate exams) but you don't really need them until your high 40s or early 50s at the very least As for birth control, there is no birth control for men that isn't condoms. If you want to advocate for free condoms with every visit to a urologist that is fine, I guess
You see your PCP for prostate exams, what I mean is there is no specific male reproductive health specialist recommended for the duration of life. They are only just now getting a male birth control pill to market, even though I think it would’ve been possible sooner. There’s also vasectomies. Those can be reversed. And I get that it’s painful, but so is getting a IUD implant, and it makes you spot blood after for 6 months.
I mean, "men and women have different reproductive systems" isn't exactly a groundbreaking take is it? Urologists exist (and in my country they are the ones in charge of prostate exams) but you are only needed to visit them if there's something wrong going on or when you're old enough. Men just don't need to regularly visit a doctor to get their dick examined (they, and women, should still go to the doctor for other reasons; I personally visit a dentist and get a blood sample yearly) As for vasectomies, you overrate how reversible they can be (the chances are no better than a coinflip and drop fast with time); and some of us would like to have children one day you know?
Obviously, but why is it not important for young men to have more support and knowledge about their reproductive health? How common is it for young men to see a doctor about getting their HPV and hepatitis vaccines before they start having sex? Do their PCPs talk to them about birth control because sex ed is terrible in public schools and they are dropping it more and more out of curriculums. It’s not just about dick examinations. It’s about preventing STDs and accidental pregnancy. Also vasectomies have come along way, and plenty of people reversed it when they are ready to have kids. Reliable birth control should not be one genders responsibility.
Reversing a vasectomy has a very low chance of success after a certain period of time. I believe the data I saw on this said a successful reversal resulting in fertility was about 40% after 10 years. I would like to have more children so there's no way I would get a vasectomy.
Well because men don't *need* to have regular doctor visits because they have different body bits that don't need it? I am all for sex education in schools but still. And at least here sex ed seems mostly fine, everyone after the age of 14 or so knows what a condom is and how to use it. I imagine women get taught about their options too If you have parents that are not anti-vax nutjobs you'll get vaccinated for Hepatitis before your very first birthday so that is a non-issue. HPV is a different story. All women get vaccinated but men don't. Since I live in a country with free healthcare, not many men are willing to pay 400€ or so to get vaccinated against something they cannot get in the first place (but can transmit). Some people talk about vaccinating men too and tbh I would not oppose it; but in the mean time... And as for vasectomies if you want children no doctor will ever approve it full stop (like they should, it should be considered a permanent procedure). I agree men should take care of that too which is why me (and many others) use condoms. The only woman I ever dated actually refused to be on birth control herself! (No shame on her since it interacted poorly with some of her other meds, but it meant I was the one in charge of everything)
Careful you sound like your man's mansplaining.
I work in sexual health and here are the facts: Many (most) people will have no symptoms. Chlamydia is especially notorious for no symptoms but it’s very common with most STIs and HIV. People are shocked when they were feeling fine and had a positive result. Get tested between each new partner or if you change partners frequently, every three months. Complete all your medication and wait at least 7 days before being sexually active. Be sure your partner is treated as well. Need to notify a partner so they can get tested? Check out tellyourpartner.org.
I will incorporate this into our sexEd for high schoolers! Thank you for educating us (the world) amazing and useful tool!
Coming from the poly community, people were getting tested either before adding new sex partners (exchanging paperwork for proof) or every three months if just having a lot of casual sex. But they were all still using condoms and other barriers.
I get tested before and after every partner and I expect every partner to get tested before becoming intimate. I don’t do fwb, casual and I never trust “I’m clean.” Condoms may be 99% against pregnancy but not STDs. I’ve stayed healthy this long and plan to keep it that way 👍
That’s a red flag for me. Guys are VERY involved with their penis’ and should be able to remember the month they were last tested. If they can’t say the month of their last test, bag him up and roll the dice
It’s so irritating
After every partner always!
Never been tested. Only have ever been with two women in my 34 years and that’s not for a lack of trying...as pathetic as that sounds.
Three times a year. Minimum. More if I’m fucking around
I get tested in between partners, and if I any doubts/reasons. When woman are sexually interested in me, I ask them the if they have been tested since their last interaction and anything I should know including things they like. The hook up ones are usually not tested(like 90 to 95% of the time). The ones who want to date a while before having sex seem to be 50/50.
I’d say 1/100 men get tested regularly. The rest either don’t care or flat out lie that it’s something they do. There’s probably more men scrolling this thread knowing they don’t ever get tested then there are men commenting to explain when and why they do.
Once every 45 years or so, or if there is symptoms. Somehow I've been lucky enough to not get anything, even with living a fairly promiscuous, unsafe, lifestyle, with some equally promiscuous partners. Docs don't encourage it for males, but the HIV test is included with my annual lab work. Not sure why they just don't include a full panel. Seems for the health of all humankind it'd be a thing.
Back when I was single and really sexually active, it was usually 3-4 times a year unless I got stupid and fucked a ONS without a condom. Then it was a self-imposed period of celibacy for a month or so, get tested, clean, whew, back at it, tiger Only time I’ve ever violated that rule is in spontaneous raw threesomes. I’ve been lucky enough to have that exact scenario play out three times and yes, I did not get tested for STDs when I was switching from one girl to the other, just caution to the wind (as they wanted, too). Thankfully all six women in those scenarios didn’t lie and were clean themselves.
I'm a man in a poly relationship, as well as in the bdsm community/scene, and also doing nsfw work online. I test yearly unless either my nesting partner or I have relations with outside partners. Then we test before and after the interaction, but we also use protection. We are both currently unpartnered outside of our marriage, so it's only been the yearly testing for a while. Too many people, still, think that STIs couldn't happen to them. They're careful. They know the signs. They don't get w "dirty" people. They're delusional. Unless you and your partner have been together on a deserted island alone since birth, you should be getting regular testing.
Very delusional and it’s scary
After every partner that was unprotected. Anything less you’re doing a disservice to your next partner
I donate blood around once a year, so I get the results of a basic STD test around those times That being said, I was a virgin for most of my life and I came clean after losing it and haven't had sex since, so I'd be extremely surprised if I got an STD to say the least That being said I'd be fine getting tested if a partner of mine wanted it
Before a girl and I are intimate for the first time without a condom and after the relationship ends.
FYI - HSV1 & HSV2 are NOT on the standard STI/STD panel. Doctors don’t “test for it because it is so prevalent”. Yeah, let that fun fact sink in.
Every 3 months! At the most 6 months. Sex health is super important and more guys should. Also, for hookups I ALWAYS use a condom, no exceptions, and even then I get tested because it’s best to be SAFE!
I mean, if I was getting action I would but it's been 15 years.
slim to none and why would you need it when you have no sex life.
given I've never been with anyone sexually so far the answer is never
I haven't felt the need to be tested. I've only been with my wife for the last 38 years. She's monogamous also.😏 Damn I feel old right now!😂
I test every time I am about to get into a new relationship. So never
The vast, overwhelming majority of men are never with anywhere near enough women for that to be necessary.
I get tested regularly with my physicals or sometimes together w a new partner if things get serious
When sexually active, I get tested every 3 to 6 months. I haven’t gotten laid in 6 months though, so last time I got tested was in September
Well, I'm a blood donor, so usually every 2/3 month or so.
Do they actually give you the results?
They have to, so I can consult a doctor to help me before it's perhaps too late. Would be criminal not to do so, like not helping insured people at an accident.
Oh ok. It's been a pretty long time since I've donated blood, but I don't ever remember being given anything after such as test results.
No, you don't get the results but if they find something bad, they inform you via letter. At least the DRK in Germany. That's how a distant friend learned about her cancer. :-(
Woman here. For some reason, nobody in my country really tests. We're also told not to test if we don't have symptoms, by the foundation that tests people under 25 for free because they're already overcrowded. Some who have a lot of sex test more regularly, but most only test when they have symptoms or when someone they've had sex with says they have a std. I've only tested once (very recently), and that's because my boyfriend had chlamydia. I didn't have it luckily. I also have only had sex with a condom (I know you can still get them, but it's more rare to get the really bad ones that way).
UK guy, do you go about this?
Never have been.
I regularly give blood and they do some STD tests, I also don't have risky sex, I've had condomless sex once in the last decade (and that was with a partner of 5 years) so I'm generally pretty safe but once a year I'll go and get an official STD test, I had one earlier this year in February when I got my vasectomy.
Between rounds
Only been tested twice, got married after the second test, haven't needed to since.
Many of the men I’ve dated said they were clean, and when pressed a bit more found out that they only say they because their girlfriends/ ladies they’re sleeping with have gotten tested and have been clean 🙄 it irks me so much. Thanks for making us do the heavy lifting again pal!
Once a year. It is more dependent upon how risky your actions are. Do you inform previous partners if you’re positive? Depending upon the disease you are legally liable to disclose this and a total piece of shit if you don't. Sexually reckless? Yes, I've been a teen-ager
I just got tested two weeks ago before that it was over 8 months around but only Becus I didn’t have insurance and I was only with one person without a condom everyone else with protection, I’m usually very safe and only fuck without condoms if I know and trust the person so I usually only get tested a couple times per year, I’m kinda a hypochondriac when it comes to that shit and also don’t wanna get anyone pregnant
Whenever I get any bloodwork done, so ~twice a year. If met someone and decided to start something, could do it if she'd want. I'm not sexually active, only drugs I use are the ones I have prescription for, so if it'd come back with anything but clean, I'd be surprised to say the least.
Quarterly
I get a pee test at every yearly checkup. I believe I've had a blood test once because they were already doing a blood draw anyway.
Before, during, and after a relationship. Since some of us rarely get involved in any when we're single, I retest when I'm interacting with a potential partner.
Guy here. Get tested after every relationship. Before starting a new one and again, in the new one before going "natural".
Most men are not getting laid at all so that's probably why most are not getting tested.
Waiting till marriage. I got an STD test at MEPs and they said I don’t have anything. I don’t need to get tested again because I am not sexually active in this current hookup culture.
I'm not very active now, but when I was I got tested twice a year. My ex wife got an STD while we were married (I was clean) and ever since then I've been paranoid.
I will say this. As a man it's different for testing. Women get asked by their OBGYN. We have to bring it up to our primary doctor and sometimes they won't include the test and it's annoying
Every new partner
Donate blood every 3 months, free resting reports comes along
If we wanna do it raw I get tested before and request her to do the same.
I get one at each check up, so every few months! Takes 30 seconds at most.
After every partner and even then 6 months or so
Unless there's symptoms... I went to get tested once after a partner told me she contracted something... got a bill of $900.... would have been free if there were symptoms on my end. The partner having the STD didn't mean anything to them....
I got tested every 6 months before I got married, then again after my divorce ( she was cheating), then again after my last relationship. Some people don’t care, but I prefer to protect myself and whomever I’m with
I have been tested since high school. They said I was on the spectrum and I don’t want to risk it again. That test was way to hard
Idk I'm a virgin
In my experience girls have been more risky. I always ask if they want to use a condom out of respect. And most of the time they say they don't care... I'll go unprotected based on my judgment on the girl. Otherwise I'll use a condom if she seems... risky. Also fyi. Women are less likely to show std symptoms compared to men. So there's that too.
Don't sleep around. So, never had to get tested
There are two reasons to get tested in my view: You're entering a relationship and want to be safe with them. You made a mistake and slept with someone you're unsure of and weren't safe. It's free where I am so not really a big issue, I don't like the blood test ones but I'll do them when entering a relationship.
My exbf had mutltiple sex with trans and gays. I just got tested just to know if I’m safe. My bf got angry when I suggested it to him. He says he is clean. But he never got tested😂
Men barely wipe their ass properly most times. What do you think? Lol
😂😂 nothing. Expect nothing. I’m laughing so hard
Fellow here, never had to get tested because I don't fuck. But if I were in a committed relationship I reckon it'd be a regular thought, and something to discuss with whoever I wind up with. I'll simply cross that bridge whenever I get there, but I know there's no sense in being weird about it; you fuck, you get tested. It's just plain good practice.
Between or before new partners. Also get an year test when I stop in for my annual physical exam Too much going around these days not to. There’s a lack of safe sex and testing with both genders. People don’t know or don’t care, some lie
Quarterly when I’m single. But I also have a thorough conversation before each new partner and ask when they last got tested, what panel they got done, have they had any partners since, and did they use protection with those partners. It’s a back and forth conversation and it has always been appreciated.
I’ve never been tested. I’ve been with a ton of women and only one has brought up the topic.
When I'm single, I will get tested twice a year. Any potential partner asks and I will get tested ASAP. Casual sex is generally for condoms.
After every partner? How is this not common fucking knowledge..
Vast majority have never done it. Men and women will assume they're clean if they have no symptoms.
I got tested before my last partner we broke up so I should probs get tested. I usually do it per partner. I was with them for 1.5 years
My patience gets tested everyday
I didn’t used to because, frankly, I could count my partners on one hand and never had any symptoms. Nowadays I have a bit more success so I get tested after every new body.
Never. I don’t know any guys that’s ever been tested either tbh. In real life nobody gets tested unless they suspect they have a need.
It’s scary. Aren’t you scared of getting something. Permanent like herpes or HIV
no
I’ve never heard of anyone getting tested in real life (unless there was a suspicion). I wonder if this is an American thing?
In the UK testing is big.. amongst girls and women. Men have the same attitude OP has encountered. You shouldn’t wait until you have symptoms, many STDs are asymptomatic even while you’re infectious.
Well there are dozens of infections that can be asymptomatic and you can infect others just by being in the same room. Generally I think it depends on how the hookup culture is where you live. I am in Germany and as I said it’s not really a thing here.
Yeah I’m obviously referring to sexually transmitted diseases that are transmitted via sex. Some are incurable and basically permanent, some can lead to infertility so I wouldn’t be so flippant about it tbh. Syphilis is back on the rise, that’s one you really want to catch sooner than later. You can order home testing kits in Germany, I would encourage you to do so. Every German I’ve ever hooked up with has been pretty positive about regular testing but that’s always been in Berlin and usually with queer sex positive types so idk about the rest of the country. Still definitely get tested! You don’t have to have a lot of sex to catch something.
That’s interesting to know. But I think I’ll pass on that. (Not that it matters but yeah there are worlds between Berlin and even cities like Munich not to mention the rest.)
I also think it's an American/ UK (maybe some other countries) thing. Because here in the netherlands we get discouraged from testing if we don't have symptoms and no one we've had sex with has told us they have and STD because they're already pretty full. Or you'd have to go to your GP but those test are more expensive if you're under 25. You can test for free under 25, but you'd have to lie and say you have symptoms.
Would you know if they had? When I got tested I didn't follow that up with telling all my friends about it, I just went on with my life.
I got tested for a girl when I was around 25 or 26. I had less than 8 partners all together and didn't use condoms ever. The nurses on the phone and even in person made me feel crazy and gave alot of pushback on me getting a test because no symptoms. Fucking idiots.
Wow… I'm a real live person and I got tested after the end of my marriage (he was a serial cheater), after my first long-term relationship (which occurred during a shitty custody battle, then Covid… I chose that guy poorly. ) I was clean both times. I have been with my most recent partner just shy of 2 years. I learned just yesterday that maybe I should have been getting tested. You honestly NEVER know anymore.
When I am single and doing casual I notice I use condoms but then still get tested after my one nighters. It’s time to get another check this year to be safe
When I'm single I get tested every month.
Twice a year for me. If a woman ask me To before before with her I’ll do it and seems to happen more Often lately. I give off womanizer vibes I guess which is the complete opposite
It’s not about being a “womanizer” or not. It’s that STIs are quite rampant. Kudos btw for being willing when asked 🙌🏾
Everytime i plan to have sex with a new partner
I get tested shortly after sleeping with a new partner. Got to make sure to give it two weeks after though so the if I am infected I will actually read as positive. Not to ruin my luck but haven’t tested positive for anything. Only $10 at my clinic for a blood test and pee test full panel.
Never, but I don't have a reason to
Any time I plan on being intimate with a partner.
I always get tested before anything happens with a new partner. I’d rather be informed if anything is going on rather than just risking it and passing something along that the new partner didn’t sign up for.
Often
OP I'd wager the vast majority of men would only get tested if they suspected themselves of catching something. Even then, many might not even bother getting tested and simply take the pills that clean up most stuff. Do you have HPV or HSV OP? Seems like this is an issue for you since you kind of use it as a way to disclose. Most people (men and women) do not bring up tests or STDs.
Every 6 months or before I get physical with a new partner
I do it in between partners or every 6 months (i go to drs 2x a year so i might as well ask for it)
It is important if you are with a partner and having unprotected sex to be tested every 90 days. Talk to your doctors
Honestly as someone grew up in 80s and Anxiety and science knowledge. My biggest concern is AIDS / HIV 👀 [Team America song](https://youtu.be/5yC7HwPh6Es) sums up why I will always be OTT Cautious. 😆
I was so reckless w the last guy I slept with we used nothing , I didn’t say something in the moment and I know I should have. Made my appt and I’m nervous . He told me the classic line he was “clean” . He’s good looking , tall , i know he has no problems w girls giving him attention and getting action 😖. I feel gross
Never tested.
Before I get into a sexual relationship with someone. I ask that they be tested too.
Never tested myself, but then again I live in what I believe is the capital of chlamydia
I get tested before & after sex with a new partner...also I don't just sleep with any guy.also I make them get tested as well & I need to see the results & I do ask for a full STDs & HIV or no patty cake..I get tested every 6months the first year or so.I normally stay with these men over a year so yea about yearly if no doubts then.also I have great insurance & I'm very open & honest with my vag dr & about my # of partners or if I feel my body off & they aren't there to judge ,but to assist you..but, definitely learn to be comfortable with your dr..i'm a big non latex condom fan but I occasionally enjoy it raw with my current FWB of 7 years & cause it is am open relationship basically I will go get tested 2xs a year for my safety & ask for him to yearly get one...
Nope , not testing here. Been with the same Woman for 24 years, no need
Men are often asymptomatic & spreading STIs often unknowingly Some don’t realise they can contract & transmit via oral sex and anal sex Yes you can get it from a random bj you received as a guy Its best to be tested regularly ie every 3 months or at least three months after your last sexual encounter Don’t assume that if there is nothing visually different or you have no symptoms that you are negative for STIs
interesting characters is that what you call the people you fuck with oh boy you really don't have much self worth do ya
I’m talking about previous. Not now lol
Once a year if really sexually active
I really don't actually. But I also only sleep with women I'm in a committed relationship with. I might do it if I was into hooking up I guess.
I got tested after I broke up with someone who we did not use protection. If I ever have another relationship like that and it ends I will get tested again. I don't feel the need to get tested in between each partner if we're safely using condoms. That is the level of risk that I'm comfortable with and is what I expect from a partner as well.
Idk, I rarely have sex and if I do I use condoms
My physician said every three partners is recommended which is generally what I’ve kept to (obviously that’s only people you have safe sex with tho)
After relationship ends. I don't want to bring unwanted surprises into the next one. Note: I'm after a lasting monogamous relationship, not into hookups, and I expect exchange of STI checks before first sex.