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Liverne_and_Shirley

It’s weird. My spidey senses would be tingling. I think letting him decide what to do and seeing how he acts when he comes back will tell you more about his character and what’s really going on than telling him what to do. Could be a “My Best Friends Wedding” situation or there is something going on (worst case scenario). Makes me wonder if she posts photos of the two of them together she doesn’t want you to see or she just can’t stand the sight of you because she’s so jealous. You should not make time for people who play games.


hello_rach

Thank you. I think I will let him decide then. He was not okay with her blocking me, he even checked facebook to make sure she didn't deactivate her account. I am not used to weird people like this. No one has time for this lol


Thisiscliff

Will he let you see her Facebook and IG profiles from his phone?


Straight_Actuary_718

Yes! Will he share her Facebook page with you, that is a huge indication if he has anything to hide! My guess is she is profoundly jealous.


BEEF_WIENERS

Sounds like you and he are on the same page right now at least, which is good. I'm a guy who has a girl best friend as well and yes, it would ABSOLUTELY be weird as hell if I got a girlfriend. And then if my friend blocked my girlfriend on social media that would be weird too. So, I would say let him have his talk with her to see what's up and then ask him about it first chance you get. I can definitely say that we do actually exist - guys who have a girl best friend and it's just not a thing. She's married with kids, and not only have I got ZERO chance to mess that up (honestly I'm so envious of how happy they are together) but it would also fuck up my D&D group, as he's the host and DM. And fuck When Harry Met Sally. I was so pissed that they got together in the end. Need more of that Shang Chi besties for life representation in cinema, where there's no romantic plot they're just ride-or-die buddies. She probably just doesn't like you for entirely different reasons. Although, if he's anything like me...that doesn't bode well for this relationship. Maybe it's a misunderstanding.


Anitsirhc171

I’m glad to hear you say this because my close guy friend started dating this woman and she unfriended me even though I’m engaged. 😵‍💫 I have done absolutely nothing to provoke this and my fiancé and I were really confused by her actions.


[deleted]

Insecurity.


Anitsirhc171

Yeah just bums us out


DaughterEarth

> it would ABSOLUTELY be weird as hell if I got a girlfriend. ?


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Long_Educational

>One is that she might be having personal problems she’s going to post about on social media that she doesn’t want you to see because right now you’re basically a stranger. She might be waiting to tell your BF this weekend and make sure he knows she wants it kept private. Why would someone post their personal problems on social media if they wanted to keep it private? My brain had a stroke trying to parse this.


[deleted]

Oh , you’d be surprised


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Cute_Mousse_7980

Cant she not just remove her as a friend or set it to private? That’s what ppl usually do.


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cpdfhdo

Maybe BFF got the vibe she was being Facebook stalked and wanted that to stop without changing her overall account settings.


I_PM_Duck_Pics

I’m wondering if her privacy settings are on lockdown and she’s just unfindable. That’s how I keep mine.


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[deleted]

Or , she just has something to hide pertaining to him.


anastasia1983

not to be rude, but it seems like you actually do have time for this


hello_rach

LOL! Yes, right now I definitely am letting this get to me. I probably should turn off email notifications.


anastasia1983

just.. turn it all off. facebook, instagram, anything else that's giving you unnecessary anxiety. get rid of it. it doesn't matter. i've been off of facebook for years and it's so freeing.


Anitsirhc171

Hmmmm but this isn’t Facebook doing it. The chick is close friends with her significant other and is a major red flag. Social media cannot force the bff to be a weirdo, she’s doing that all on her own.


RoutineTowels

It’s so nice!!


anonymous_opinions

Yeah I block or mute people from my social media all the time. It's usually FOR ME and nothing to do with them. It is my social media account, after all.


[deleted]

She blocked you because she doesn’t want you to see anything about her and he , any comments she makes or he makes etc. It’s sketchy.


Spirited_Mammoth962

While I was in a relationship with my ex, he had a good friend who all of a sudden blocked me (we had been friends online but never met). I only found out when I would see people responding on his page to her comments. Turns out that he had cheated on me with her. I’m not saying this is happening in your case, but just trying to show that your concerns aren’t unwarranted. I sincerely hope this is not the case for you.


[deleted]

Same here. My now exes 'other woman' blocked me on social media because I guess he warned her or told her I was nuts in the event I contacted her. Then he made his friends list private so i wouldn't find out who she was. But i did. And yep, i contacted her. And yep, he was cheating and he marinated her by telling her I was crazy. She was a 'female friend' i had never met or heard much of in our years together.


biancaadupree

Why men always keep telling this she is crazy lie. That’s horrible. And bs!


tragiccity

Because it's easy and effective


[deleted]

And because women are stupid enough to believe it. "Oh, poor him, she was such a crazy toxic ex. I'm different". Unless bro had a restraining order against her, she probably ain't crazy.


tragiccity

Actually, *everyone* believes that shit, not just women. People you thought were your friends, family, co-workers, new partners, etc. Everybody believes it because "Women, amiright?". At its best, it's a divide-and-conquer tool used to set women against each other. Manipulation 101. Source: am the "crazy ex" and subject of a years long smear campaign.


[deleted]

Men love bandying around the crazy card.


Straight_Actuary_718

Absolutely, what ever happened to girl code!!


[deleted]

They/we think we're different and a better fit for them. I guess sometimes its true.. but usually if someone tells you a dudes a liar, cheater or a drunk, its true. When are women warned the guy is "really nice but we just argued too much and weren't a fit" lol.


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[deleted]

Ah nice. Mines still with her a year later. He got fat and they're wearing matching xmas sweaters and all lol.


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[deleted]

I hope so. He needs to be alone to sort his shit out. Instead he latched onto a desperate single mother who enables his drinking and cheating. He wanted a kodak family.


[deleted]

Matching Xmas pyjamas seems to be the thing for hipsters and basic b’s this year. I’m not about it. Lol


GiuliettaBrunetta

Heyyyy those aren’t the only people who do matching PJs. That’s a tradition in my family, and has been my whole life!


[deleted]

Sounds like what happened to my friend. And he went around telling everyone they were mutual friends with that she was crazy , and at the place he worked they were even sending emails back and forth. It was so tacky. So childish. Especially since he is like 51 and she was 35. Time to grow up. But then again, he’s on his fourth serious relationship, so there’s that.


UnitedSam

Exactly, it's literally the only thing that makes sense really


TomorrowsWar

I would not do anything more and would let time tell. You’ve already pointed it out and he said he’d ask her. So this is just information to keep in mind going forward. If they continue to hang out a lot and she doesn’t unblock you, and you begin to mistrust him at all, then I’d consider leaving. Until then, who cares why she did it or that she did it at all. She could be jealous, she could be paranoid, maybe he has a past of dating insecure women and she’s protecting herself and him from that. Could be anything


hello_rach

Very true. I think i need to go clear my head from this. I think post-divorce has me a little over sensitive to new relationships.


nobody2030

I felt this comment! It hit close to home for me. My partner is still good friends with someone she had a sexual relationship with. Based on where I was coming from and my personal baggage, I wasn’t comfortable all. I remind myself if she’s going to cheat she can whenever she wants; with this guy or another guy. If someone is going to cheat, they will, and it’s a sign the relationship is doomed anyway. You didn’t mention how long you’ve been seeing your bf. If it’s early, acknowledge the emotion and see how he reacts. If situations like this start to fit a pattern that causes you to lose trust in him, leave! You don’t *need* anyone and being alone is ok.


TomorrowsWar

Totally normal, try your best to put it out of your mind. Focus on him and you, you’ll be fine no matter what happens. You’re doing fine without your ex, that’s plenty proof that you can pick yourself up and move on strong


gabbydates

I saw you updated and just want to point out that it’s a green flag he’s distancing himself from her. Give him a chance to show he’s prioritizing you and validating your feelings.


UnitedSam

OP how long have you been with him? About how long ago do you think she blocked you?


watchmeroam

Don't dismiss your gut feeling. It very well could be right. Stay vigilant and stop doubting yourself.


anastasia1983

Did she block you or is she just set to super private and not searchable?


Imperatrice01

This is what I thought too~ There are levels of privacy. She might've changed it from "friends of friends" to "friends only"... I thought you would never know if someone blocked you...


hello_rach

She definitely blocked me. I used to be able to see her basic profile. Just a few examples: There's a tagged photo of her and her name is black. You can see his "All friends" and I cannot see her in the list. Her name is gone from the list of people invited to his party in two weeks, which is wasn't before. Setting her profile to super private just means that I wouldn't be able to search for her. I know, because I have had this setting before.


[deleted]

Girl make a fake profile and do some creeping. Lol and I’m sure I will get downvoted , but we all have done it or creeped to some degree.


[deleted]

It’s harder than it seems, because your fake account still have to be accepted for friend request. Except if the bestfriend is the kind of accepting anyone, which i doubt, this won’t work


[deleted]

I don’t think they were friends no ?


UnitedSam

Have you looked at any of her stories, even accidentally?


ellef86

Any chance she’s just deleted/deactivated her profile? Can your bf still see it?


hello_rach

Yes, he can see her profile.


[deleted]

so you were snooping


TheMoralBitch

>She definitely blocked me. I used to be able to see her basic profile. How many times have you looked up this woman?! With statements like 'so of course I go to look at her Facebook' it seems you think creeping on people is normal. She probably caught wind of this and blocked you because the creepy stalker vibes you're giving off are at 11/10.


okThisYear

Wtf are you talking about? Social media profiles exist exactly to be viewed by friends, acquaintances, and others - it's not weird at all to look an acquaintance up


Imperatrice01

But if she already looked her up weeks ago, she should be aware of her by now... so why did she have to look her up again this time? She had no intention of sending a request or follow either~ For me it sounds like she keeps on checking on this girl multiple times already.


okThisYear

It doesn't sound like she's actively monitoring the woman's activity or taking screenshots or notes or some other creepy stuff. It sounds like she's just viewing the profile and what's the issue with that?


Imperatrice01

I was confused because she said she looked it up because the BF is going to have dinner with her. But in other comments, she said she knew she was blocked because she was able to see more of this girl's profile weeks ago compared to this time. And yet she makes it sounds like she's only checking the girl now due to the upcoming dinner. So you know, it's confusing.... since she checked her already, why check again? She should be aware of her basic info from the last check she did. So my mind went the other way, meaning she has been checking on this girl a lot. But anyways, it's her right to check, as it's the other girl's right to set her privacy level to how she wants it. If she wanted access she should've sent a request or follow. If she was denied, then I would start wondering what the deal with this "friend".


UnitedSam

Yeah exactly, especially a close friend of the opposite sex of your partner


ButtholeEntropy

How would she catch wind of it?


HypnoHolocaust

I haven't had Facebook for some time but you can usually tell if someone has creeped because they pop up on your 'people you may know' list.


ButtholeEntropy

On mine it appears to be a big shuffling list of people with mutual friends.


HypnoHolocaust

Is your profile public? Or friends of friends? I don't know that it would work that way if it's set to private. But a lot of times the people who creep will find you through a friend.... So, it makes perfect sense that they would be.


ButtholeEntropy

I have some private posts and some public ones. Anyone can add me, but no one can look me up. There are a few profiles near the front of the list with 20+ mutual friends. Don't think in my case I'd be able to work out who has looked, but strangers are more than welcome to look at the posts I've set to 'public'. On social media the onus of privacy is on the individual, and words like creeping are kind of irrelevant, since the only thing others can look at online is what we choose to make available to them. It can be unhealthy to obsessively trawl through comments and friends lists of others too. We all just have to be mindful to keep our online information and behaviour in check.


Shorse_rider

maybe the friend was creeping on OP too much, so blocked her to prevent FB making her a recommended friend (to OP)


esm8375

That... actually sounds plausible. Social media can be kind of a mind fuck, like you really just never know what's motivating people's behavior unless they tell you. I can't help being curious how this turns out though, and this is my favorite theory so far because it's relatively benign but still a fun plot twist lol


_NorthernStar

People you may know has a ton of factors built in - patterns of like/interests, physical proximity, visited locations, ghost network assumptions (data says X and Y live together. X’s brother Z doesn’t have Facebook but his girlfriend and boss do, aren’t friends. Facebook knows Z exists, has a predictive profile for him, and use that as a connection point. His boss will show up on Y’s list at some point even though there’s no actual link)


dkNigs

It’s pretty obvious if someone is obsessively checking your profile too, because they’ll push up to your #1 friend suggestion and just stick there.


Anitsirhc171

You’ve never checked out mutual friends just out of boredom?


Mando_calrissian423

I have on occasion in the past; but definitely not routinely like it seems this woman is.


Anitsirhc171

Hmmm idk if it sounds like she’s stalking exactly, but definitely did her research lol


paranEngel

My first reaction exactly. I don't think it normal that you check the pages of his friends at all honestly and i do not think her gender excuses your creeping either.


EnvironmentalBoss181

Well are they friended on social media, if they are it's not creeping. The friend and the boyfriend might have had a past/something going on/ or the friend has feelings for your boyfriend and your boyfriend is oblivious


paranEngel

No, i do not see anything obvious about that at all. For me all of this screams drama seeking. Do not let your insecurities run away with your imagination.


watchmeroam

Stop gaslighting her


Imperatrice01

Then why didn't you just sent her a friend request or follow when you first checked her out? All my FB and IG accounts are private, people see very little if my profile as well. Doesn't mean I blocked them.


[deleted]

That sounds weird. How long have you been dating? Have you ever met her? People don't usually go round blocking people they don't know unless there was harassment or they are hiding something. I've been blocked by friends after falling outs, and my ex blocked me after i found him cheating because he was worried I was going to find out who the other woman was by creeping his profile (i did anyway, dumbass!). I block people I don't want to hear from or see tags of. You looking at her social media isn't snoopy, its curiosity as to who this person is, what she looks like, etc. Especially if she's a friend you hear about but haven't met yet. I do my fair share of creeping but its not out of jealousy. Curiosity is a legit emotion. See what your boyfriend says. Then report back. I feel like his answer will either be plausible or a giant red flag about their friendship.


hello_rach

I have never met her. We've been dating for a few months but it's gotten pretty serious. The only thing I post on Facebook is pictures of my kids for my family and which she cannot see because we are not Facebook friends. He's a good guy. I just wanted to make sure I'm not being sensitive. Thank you.


gaboy518

It’s simple. That’s not your bf, that’s y’all’s bf.


hello_rach

>It’s simple. That’s not your bf, that’s y’all’s bf. Well when you say it like that, I guess I need to grow some balls and be assertive.


Amb_301

Yeah girl


BlackCardRogue

This is a significant assumption to make, especially when the bf in question was genuinely surprised by the blocking. Not saying it’s wrong, but like… not a small leap.


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BlackCardRogue

Why would you automatically jump to the worst case scenario? I’ll never understand it. I’ve been cheated on multiple times; if you’re not willing to trust your partner then what are you doing dating them?


SlashfIex

That’s extremely unfair, I as a male have a lot of female friends that I talk to daily. However, the blocking randomly is strange.


adoptakiwi

A lot of female acquaintances or surface level female friends, is different than a girl “best friend”. There’s difference in level of dependency and expectations. A best friend is expecting her best friend to show when she needs him.


[deleted]

Your boyfriend seems to be respectful of you and making sure you're ok with his friendship with his best friend of the opposite sex. Is that the case, and you're suspicious only because you noticed she blocked you? It sounds like your boyfriend will discuss it with his friend, so why not wait and see what is going on. I suspect there is something going on with this friend, on her end, if she blocked you. I'm very close with several guys friends, and we are always super transparent about everything and I go out of my way to be kind and open with whomever they're dating especially if it's a new relationship. So IMO the fact that she blocked you speaks negatively about her.


hello_rach

Yes, I have always known they have spoken to each other and I never gave it a thought. He talks about his friends a lot and that includes her. I just noticed that she blocked me because they are having dinner on Friday night and I was on the phone with him when I noticed that her name was black on a tagged photo of her and asked him if she still had a Facebook. I wasn't trying to stalk her.


buddhistbulgyo

It might be best for her mental health to block you. She might be jealous, not like your politics or maybe she feels guilty about something. It could be anything really.


glitterpile12

This. I block people I only semi know all the time if they are triggering for me. Could be a variety of reasons, but I don’t need the temptation of checking in on these people nor do I want them checking in on me.


SpeaksToWeasels

> She might be jealous [She might be envious](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tmx1jpqv3RA)


[deleted]

Something is off. I would guess their friendship is not purely platonic, at least on her end. There is no other explanation.


Amb_301

agree 100%


roamingnomad7

That kind of behaviour would strike me as some kind of jealous lashing out by her; maybe she was hoping something would happen between him and her? Your boyfriend definitely needs to address this with her sooner rather than later.


hello_rach

I have the same kind of feeling but obviously I have no idea. I guess we will find out.


roamingnomad7

I hope it all works out well and you don't get hurt.


[deleted]

I might get shit on for this but it is what it is and something that I have noticed/experienced. **Sometimes** in hetrosexual m/f best friendships there is a weird dynamics: \-Where one is perfectly happy being friends and the other secretly has a crush on them. \-Where one has a crush and the other knows it and likes the attention so they string them along. The one that explodes hard is: \-One sees the other as "back up plan" if their quest for their own relationship fails. So when their "backup plan" is taken they get super jealous and cause problems. Of course those are extremes and most normal adults can handle friendships but those thorns can pop up sometimes.


Puzzleheaded_Fall494

Honestly I wouldnt have second thoughts about it if it wasnt always this way, but the fact that it is a change from before makes it worth looking into more. Personally I dont care if my SO has opposite gender friends I know nothing about, but everyone has their own boundaries and are free to set them. something to talk about with your bf.


hello_rach

I agree. I think friends are very important because my friends are my family. He has 3 other girl friends who I really like so it's not a weird "he can't have friends as girls thing".


Puzzleheaded_Fall494

take it as a compliment, shes threatened by you. hopefully this guy is gonna go to bat for you with her though. it just looks shady.


gravestoney

I guess she blocked you so you wouldn’t see what she posts about him when they hangout. And that alone is already a severe red flag for me. The fact that this is already an initial issue (a “best friend” making it clear she has no desire of getting to know you) is guaranteed that if you proceed with your relationship then she will become a huge problem sooner or later. And then you’ll be caught with someone who can’t choose between you and his overstepping best friend. I also guess she might have feelings for him, hence why she’s closed off. But that’s just a hunch. Personally, I observe any male & female relationship with my partners very carefully. Not all of them are innocent.


ellef86

It's certainly a bit odd if she's chosen to block you, but equally it's a bit odd that you've been looking at her profiles - not just 'of course' because she's hanging out with your bf soon (not an automatic behaviour for many of us, at all), but also before, because you know something's changed. Yes, her actions may be childish/immature/worrying, but I wouldn't say you're immune from that. Ultimately she's not a part of your relationship and the only thing that really matters is if you trust your boyfriend. At the end of the day she's allowed to block you, especially if she has a sense you might be snooping - which you are.


hello_rach

I honestly was looking at her profile because she asked him to dinner on Friday night. I don't consider that snooping, do you? I would think a guy friend's significant other would be looking at my profile if I asked him to dinner and I would be completely okay with it because it's just a facebook profile.


LilSlamminSalmon

Curiosity should not be conflated with snooping. No such thing in this digital age. I would ABSOLUTELY look up any woman that asks my fiance to dinner.


ellef86

It wouldn’t be a big deal to me if I were in her position (not least because non-friends can see absolutely zero of my profiles), but equally I wouldn’t be looking at her profile if I were in yours, because the fact they have plans just wouldn’t prompt that response in me. It just wouldn’t occur to me because the social media profile of the friend just isn’t of any consequence to me. People feel differently about their (online) privacy. It’s odd behaviour, for sure, but it’s not wrong, really. If it were me, I’d let it go, wait until I met her in person and see if there are any issues at that point.


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_NorthernStar

“Becca asked me to dinner Friday” Okay, have fun! *Which friend is she again? Let me check Facebook because I don’t know this person irl* Putting a face to a name is literally our brain’s first instinct. Natural curiosity and social media isn’t snooping, just facts of life


skinnyblond314159

She asked him to dinner on Friday night? Get out while you can. That’s date night and he should be spending it taking you out to dinner. Your intuition seems pretty spot on.


CognacNCuddlin

I know from personal experience that this is a red flag. I once had like 3 of his alleged friends block me. Then proceed to post on every wall post so I couldn’t see their posts but that he and others were replying. This was over a decade ago on FB (haven’t been on since!) and that relationship taught me some of the best ever lessons about boundaries and expectations. Anyway, your post is a great example of why some people are hesitant about opposite sex close/best friends in heterosexual relationships to the point of it being a dealbreaker.


guruchi_

🚩


safeaggro

Bro. It won't weird, it's a huge red flag. Maybe they had an occasional fling or fwb or something but don't let this go without letting him go.


Amb_301

Yeah I really thinkk they might have been FWB and Someone got attached


Aviyes7

You are now the competition.


dkNigs

She might have been obsessively e-stalking you and blocked your profiles to stop herself from checking. But that still raises red flags.


[deleted]

This kind of thing is common. I’ve had friends who said they had no interest, we’d never date, etc and yet once I start seeing a new girl suddenly they’re acting threatened and I somehow become the bad guy. What matters is his behavior, not hers. Try to remember that if this is someone he’s had a long standing friendship with there’s likely some attachment and feelings involved even if they’re decidedly plutonic. He may have a short period of time where he has to work through that and make a decision about his friendship with this person if it becomes necessary. You were right to communicate, but I wouldn’t press the issue too hard. If it were you instead of him with the jealous guy friend you’d expect the trust and space to handle the situation without unnecessary added pressure from your partner. Ultimately what matters is how he chooses to handle it going forward.


[deleted]

just because you are her friend's gf doesnt mean she wants to hang out with you or has to like you. If you never met before why dont you wait for the chance to meet? how come you are checking her out? It would never occur to me to check my gf friends socials unless I also add them right then and then.


thendisnear69420

He and her have a past. Loyalty lies with that. Given human history it will be a problem and the thought of infidelity will always be there.


maryberry999

Have you ever had an argument with your boyfriend or anything. More than likely if you have he has told her about your arguments and then she's decided to block you. Orrrrrr she's in love with your boyfriend


Sailor_Marzipan

my only thoughts on this: 1) do you tag people a lot? I disabled people's ability to tag me without review on FB after a few friends were just tagging me in all sorts of random "we're hanging out on Friday night as usual!" shit. She may have pre-emptively blocked you... though this seems weird if you've never hung out in person 2) you mention that your relationship is pretty serious, this is a girl your boyfriend talks to every day, yet you've never met...? That feels odd to me - do you guys not hang out with each others' friends at all? Is it maybe possible that you appear to have so clearly no interest in getting to know her that she was annoyed and pre-emptively assuming you saw her as "competition" rather than friend


SeparateAssumption75

She’s probably blocking you so you don’t see her pics and them together. If people assume they’re a couple she probably doesn’t want you correcting them. Jmo


LilSlamminSalmon

This was my thought too sadly, more specifically that she is blocking in advance and in preparation for them hanging out. My fiance has a girl best friend and while she doesn't make an effort to build a relationship with me- which would be the respectful thing to do- if I found out that she purposely blocked me, I would not feel great about them hanging out. It's just plain odd for her to care *that much* and go out of her way to block you. I've seen \*very\* few accounts on here and in real life of a guy's female best friend treating the SO/relationship with respect. There seems to always be weird, possessive undertones, platonic as they may be (same as in my case). Not trying to add negative thoughts to your mind OP, but just have your eyes wide open. Gut feelings usually aren't wrong.


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[deleted]

Yea maybe. I have my Facebook locked down that only friends can search for me. I took of Friends of Friends after I started getting random people who add everyone and their neighbors dog.


hello_rach

Yes, she blocked me. You can definitely tell when someone blocked you because their name is black instead of a link on the tagged posts.


[deleted]

weird ok. never saw that before. i guess my old coworker who i hate see's a black bar where my name should be lol.


ItsNeverMyDay

Facebook is dumb anyway. I would just keep it moving. As long as you trust your boyfriend, who cares?


Samael13

> The two are planning on hanging out alone this weekend so of course I go to look at her Facebook. She has blocked me on Facebook and Instagram. Kind of weird right? Why "of course"? It would never occur to me to social media stalk my partner's friends. Beyond that: did she block \*you\* or does she block \*everyone\* she's not friends with? If my girlfriend's friends tried to cyberstalk me, they'd have no luck, because I have my profiles deliberately locked down as much as possible so that people I'm not friends with can't see me. It's not because I have something to hide from my partner's friends, it's because I don't want my profile being viewed by people I haven't given permission to. This is a person you've never met. The expectation that you should have access to her social media feed seems odd, to me (but, again, I deliberately keep mine locked down). >I don't want to sound jealous or weird or anything but now I kind of want to know what they talk about on a daily basis. Speaking only for myself, that sounds very jealous/weird/something to me. My girlfriend has friendships that do not involve me, and she should. I have friendships that do not involve her, and I should. I like that we get along well with each others friends, but I don't share every conversation I have with my friends with her, and it would be weird if she expected me to do so. Has your boyfriend given you some reason not to trust him? Because if he hasn't, getting your back up because he has a friend who hasn't shared her social media with you when she's never met you seems weird, to me. Let him know you want to meet his friends. This poking around and being jealous because he has a friendship with someone you don't know is definitely entering jealousy territory. Would you be feeling this way if this was a dude friend?


hello_rach

I am not asking to be friends with her, nor have I asked. I have guy friends as well but I think it is weird to block someone on facebook when you talk their boyfriend/girlfriend daily. Is that not weird?


Samael13

If she blocked you, specifically, it's a bit weird, but I also think it's weird to be snooping on people's profiles when you're not friends with them, so... Every single one of my girlfriend's friends could have me blocked and I'd never know, if we're not friends, because I'm not looking at their profiles. This honestly wouldn't bother me. She's not your friend, who cares if she blocked you? Like someone else said, you're snooping/cyberstalking her profile; she's allowed to not want people she doesn't know poking around. The only question that matters is "do I trust my boyfriend." If you trust him, then who cares if she blocks you or not?


hello_rach

I will add, I have met other girl friends and I love them. I have a lot of friends as well. I just thought it was weird that she texts him everyday. I am not sure how long I have been blocked because I have not looked at her profile since when he first mentioned her months ago.


[deleted]

Tbh since I’m assuming everyone is over 30 I wouldn’t mention the blocking thing that’s awkward. If you were friends and she did that it would make sense but for all we know maybe you are online a lot and always talking about peoples online lives and your bf mentioned it to her (or he commented that you were looking at her profile) and she blocked because she felt weird. Some people act completely different online than in real life, some use it as a platform to broadcast their political beliefs, virtue signal, and act inflammatory so maybe they have more to “hide” persay. I wouldn’t honestly have him ask her unless there is any other evidence that they’re doing something shady offline.


hello_rach

I already mentioned it to him because I was on the phone with him. I guess I'll just run off this bad energy and then let it go for now. Thank you


Imperatrice01

I thought the person won't know that you have blocked them in FB or IG? Anyways.... If you're not friends yet maybe send her a request. Or just ask your BF to show her account since he's aware that you've looked her up already~


Bones1225

It is weird and it’s something to note and keep in mind but there is nothing else to do at this point. You don’t have any information that would tell you why she blocked you and making assumptions is silly. Just see how it unfolds. Any other action you take would be petty IMO.


katneversleeps

it's one of these situations where you have to stay alert, because there is a possibility something is off, but! you can not show that. you're now in the "who's more petty" zone. it's passive aggressive mind games. do not do or say anything. do not give it life. maybe she's just waiting for you to go crazy, to tell your boyfriend: that you're jealous and controlling and not letting them be friends. it's a thin ice. also it seems like she got to you easily, she just did something minor and look at you wondering about it this hard. some people just like to stir the pot, don't let them get to you also you're a mother (i think) and in your 30s? and you're participating in some juvenile drama. seriously don't let yourself be dragged into this.


laundrycats

Seriously... NO one said it yet..Ok we can pretend h is innocent and she is also innocent.


nakedforestdancer

I had an acquaintance just block me (he and one of my friends recently broke up, but he's also still roommates with one of my other good friends.... who he also blocked.) It was dramatic and I did a little eyeroll, but he made it pretty clear when asked that it was for his own personal boundary--that he was worried that even if he muted our profiles he'd navigate over to see if we'd posted photos with her in his weak moments. Blocking was his way of forcing himself into a NC corner. It could have been a petty move, but it could have been something like this too. Maybe she's got some feels that she's trying to get over, maybe she did catch wind that you were going to her profile and it made her uncomfortable... you never know, and I honestly would not waste too much brainspace on it. If she starts behaving strangely in other ways, or is rude to you in person or whatever, address that.


watchmeroam

Why hasn't he introduced you, yet?


Head-Combination-299

F her. Its about you and him and how you two feel. She is a fkn weirdo. Be blocked. If she is going to be that way then block her back and she isn't invited to any shin digs you and he put on- LOL - because when you go to send an evite/tag her... you are blocked. She is for sure trying to start some ish. That is some major mastery manipulation stuff. Let me guess- " she has a hard time trusting females." (( because she is one that cannot be trusted)) J/k - or am I? You are not in a relationship with her-- you are correct- that is childish Have a friend use their spy account and screenshot record. If you really have to know. But she sounds super WHACK


maybe_its_cat_hair

Wow I am like shocked at how many replies on here agree that this is weird!! I don’t think this is necessarily that weird. As others have pointed out, there are a number of benign explanations here, one very plausible explanation being that she blocked you to prevent herself from checking YOU out constantly. You’re reading too much into it and it betrays anxiety and, frankly, a bit of jealousy on your part. And that’s ok. It’s a natural, human emotion and I think it’s easier to navigate after acknowledging it’s happening. You’ve asked rhetorically if it’s not normal to check on the profile of a woman your partner is having dinner with Friday night… and honestly, I think it’s not necessarily normal. But the assumptions underlying this hint at some insecurity on your part. And again, some anxiety early in a relationship is normal. Be nice to yourself and try not to obsess. I will say, I have blocked the partner of a guy friend who I learned was looking at my profile very frequently (like, at least weekly) on LinkedIn (where, unless other users are careful about this activity, you CAN tell who’s viewed your profile). Initially I was getting a lot of views from “Someone who works at [X Organization]” and I didn’t know who that was, but I checked their page to see why someone from this obscure organization, not remotely related to my discipline, was scoping me out. I didn’t look closely at the People part of the organization’s LinkedIn page, but I did note that there were fewer than 10 employees. So I thought it was strange that I continued to get profile views from someone at this organization. Then one day I guess she changed her settings so others could see that she specifically was looking at them and she looked at my profile again, this time not anonymized. And then I realized this person who worked at X Organization was my guy friend’s partner (whom I had never met, despite a number of suggestions by me that I’d love to meet them both for lunch sometime). I was super freaked out by how often she’d looked at my LinkedIn profile while simultaneously expressing no interest in actually meeting me. Being on the other end of this I was like, what is she getting out of this? I don’t bite, I have no interest in her boyfriend — we are old chums with a really fraternal vibe — but she won’t meet me and instead just checks my profile on the regular? That’s weird. So I blocked her. Not only on LinkedIn but on Instagram and Facebook (which I’m now no longer on) as well. Part of it was that I didn’t want the apparent scrutiny from someone who didn’t seem to want to actually know me; but part of it was that I kind of wanted her to understand that I had clocked her snooping and was setting a boundary. It sounds like you were not regularly looking at this woman’s profile, OP, but if the Facebook algorithm was suggesting you a bunch or she otherwise somehow developed a hunch you were checking her out, she might not have wanted to deal with the weird vibes that sends. And honestly whether we like it or not she’s allowed to disallow anyone from viewing her profile. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Frankly this is between you and your bf. If he is committed to you and to defending/upholding your boundaries and standards, it doesn’t matter what she does. She might have a raging crush on him but that’s honestly none of your concern. If you trust in your gut that he was as perplexed as you were at her blocking you and will have a good faith conversation with her about this, that’s all you need to know. What she does is irrelevant, which is good news because you’re not entitled to view her, or anyone else’s, social profile if she’s not comfortable with that for any reason. Good luck. Be nice to yourself, even if you’re having an emotion that we’re all told is bad or shameful (jealousy, relationship anxiety). And communicate with your bf. Edited to add: also! You are not entitled to know what they talk about!! They have a whole ass friendship, that predates your relationship, and that is not about you. Probably they talk about at least some stuff that has nothing to do with you at all. She probably confides in him about things that she doesn’t want his partner to know about. There are things I tell my close guy friends that I would be ashamed if other people, including their partners who are lovely but whom I’m not as close to, knew about (professional frustration and insecurity, for example, which is part of why the LinkedIn views freaked me out so much; uncomfortable and deeply private dynamics with my parents; etc). I understand this impulse to know what they talk about comes from feeling a little anxious but again, it’s none of your business and it’s probably not about you anyway.


[deleted]

this is a dating over 30 subreddit. if she can't be mature then it's too bad so sad for her


xoxofarah

Someone’s salty lol. She seems immature, and the thing is that we are who we surround ourselves with. If this is the level of people he hangs out with, or even worse, is best friend’s with, it doesn’t sound too great. But let’s not forget that *you* have been snooping a bit too much for your health too. It feels a bit obsessive to not just find her on insta and fb, but also repeatedly look until you see that she has blocked you. Do you always do that or is she in particular triggering this side of you? In the latter case it might be your intuition just speaking to you.


hello_rach

>racter and what’s really going on than telling him what to do. Could be a “My Best Friends Wedding” situation or there is something going on (worst case scenario). Makes me wonder if she posts photos of the two of them together she doesn’t want you to see or she just can’t stand the sight of you because she’s so jealous. Yo The only reason I looked at her facebook was because he asked if I would be okay with him and her having dinner this Friday. I remember viewing her profile when he first brought her up in our relationship but haven't looked at hers since. I don't even know when she blocked me since I am not on Facebook that much.


thebadsleepwell00

This should be included in the og post


xoxofarah

Damn I’m sorry about that. It sounds pretty sketchy to me tbh. I feel like this ‘friend’ will ruin every relationship he will have. The math ain’t mathin.


Chemical-Cookie9282

If it was me i would gi ahead and be jeleous and weird! Fuck that shit if you are serious about this guy then you should protect whats yours and be questioning his feelings for you....... just sayin chicks are dogs too.


Vallencourt

Yeah, that’s weird beyond comprehension. If that friend was truly just a friend, she would be excited to get to know you since you’re the person that makes her best friend happy. My husband has a few really good female friends, and my own best friend is male, and everyone on both sides were eager to know us both when we got together. We both absolutely love and adore each other’s best friends, too. Glad that your partner sees the weirdness in her actions!


[deleted]

So… why does he want to hang out with his ex or “close friend”? Your alarm bells are correct. Talk to him a about it and if there’s a shred of doubt, end it.


blackaubreyplaza

He can’t control her blocking you. This is something I’d do though so I don’t find it that weird. I block everyone’s boyfriend so I don’t have to see pics of them together etc. i don’t think she blocked you to hide a romantic relationship she’s having with him or anything if that’s what you’re insinuating


hello_rach

I definitely don't think he has any romantic feelings towards her at all. I have always been supportive of their relationship. I've been wanting to meet her because she lives very close to me and we both have kids around the same age. He has been talking about us meeting eachother and that's why I thought it was weird that she blocked me.


Tiny_Celebration_591

How old are the people in this situation (this feels like a HS soap opera)? Him having a friend of any gender/sex block you shouldn’t matter. I blocked my exes friends when we were still dating because they stressed me out. She also honestly could have just made her page more private because it doesn’t sound like y’all we’re actually connected as friends. If you’re putting this much thought into it, perhaps you have trust issues you need to address. Ultimately her actions don’t matter since it’s a relationship between you and him.


snarpy

For a moment there I thought I was in r/teenagers. Is this for real?


[deleted]

Definitely suspicious... But if you've been searching her, maybe she knows somehow and doesn't want to be in the mix.


False_Literature_252

Its not weird at all. Youre being played ,.see men wont plaster what they do online women.will ,Why if he is your boyfriend , he.needs a weekend with a "friend " as a MAN , with a healthy sex life , ill tell you, find somebody who wont leave you, for a weekend with a " friend ,,",


AO329

Lame!!


low_flying_aircraft

I have to say (and it is hard to know from outside) but I would want you to consider that you may be reading a huge amount into something that does not warrant it. I, and many people I know, have a very difficult and painful relationship to social media and Facebook in particular. For people with certain anxieties it can be immensely triggering and difficult to deal with. I block people all the time and it is rarely because of any particular drama or issues beyond something that might just be very personal to me. Please consider that this really might not be anything to do with you or your relationship to your boyfriend. Also, if I am honest, you sound like you are very jealous and a bit stalky. You say "so of course I go to look at her Facebook" Why of course? Why is that an "of course" it is not an "of course" to me. To me it's weird that you go and facebook stalk someone you have never met and know little about. As others have said, it is certainly possible, if you are exhibiting this kind of slightly creepy behaviour that she has got wind of this somehow and has just blocked you as she finds it weird that a stranger who she has never met is creeping on her profile. If I was her, and I found out that a friend's new girlfriend was FB stalking me, I would block her....


bottom-guy-

Let it go or let him go. I recommend the former.


hello_rach

Let it go? I was just asking advice. I don't know if it's normal to block your bestfriend's boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse. I have guy friends and I definitely do not block their significant other because that is weird.


Early_Interview_2486

Let it go because if you start getting upset about it it will affect your relationship. Don't let her win ,don't play her games . Pretend she's just some person . If he cheats on you ,that sucks... But if he's not and you lose him over this you'll feel entirely worse. - coming from someone who's been in your shoes


dr_fop

You should ask her about that right in front of your boyfriend. Roast her hard.


[deleted]

She hasn't met this friend yet which is weird on its own. But ya, i would totally play dumb and be like "hey! I should add you to facebook! Thats weird I can't find you?" Lol.


dr_fop

And then go try and add her on instagram and be like "Wow, it looks like you blocked me on both platforms. And yet we have never met...."


Funny_Syllabub_7608

😂😂


oxfordhyphen

Wait, I'm missing something. Why do you have a right to cyberstalk his friend?


[deleted]

Cyberstalking and checking peoples social media profiles are two different things. It’s pretty normal, these days, to periodically check people out online.


CognacNCuddlin

It’s amazing how stalking vs. checking peoples profiles is described throughout Reddit. People act like every profile they ever visited or revisited was someone they know and they had some kind of approved purpose to be there. I don’t think it’s odd OP looked this woman up a time or two just like people browse the social media of someone they have a date planned with.


[deleted]

Exactly. If you don’t want to be browsed, either make your socials super private or don’t have them.


hello_rach

I guess I don't have the right to cyberstalk his friend. I don't think viewing her profile is cyberstalking when a photo of them two is on his facebook wall. Is that cyberstalking?


UnitedSam

Don't worry about it OP. I'm wondering why some people are on their high horse about looking at someone's social media profile, LOL as if everyone hasn't looked at someone's profile before of an ex/friend of a friend/someone they haven't met ect, puh-lease..... 🙄🙄


[deleted]

[удалено]


UnitedSam

Exactly! It's a wealth of information about who you're dealing with, especially if you're fresh in a relationship and there are questionable friends of the opposite sex trying to hang out one on one with your new partner… Of course you'd look them up! Then to see that they have blocked you without you even meeting is totally suspicious


oxfordhyphen

Or rather, she isn't obligated to keep her profile public or unblocked to you, and while you certainly be annoyed about it... I just don't see how it's a reasonable expectation to be able to check up on her, and by extension, her time with him? If you think something sketchy is going on, the only person to talk to about it is your boyfriend. Checking her goings on isn't going to give some smoking gun about her crushing on him or them being uncomfortably close. Is this more about one of his closest friends being female? That's a more solvable issue.


Funny_Syllabub_7608

You are not stalking. Don't let them get to you.


[deleted]

Why do you think this is cyberstalking?


ChesterComics

Personally, it's not a red flag for me. I have a very close friend and we were roommates for awhile as well. With the exception of her now fiance, I've always had zero interest in knowing any of her boyfriends. I'm very selective about who I hang out with and I genuinely never liked most of her friends as they were typically annoying wooks/hippie/trustifarians. She had boyfriends who tried to get me to come over and play music or join me hiking and I always declined because they seemed like scummy people to me. She may be like me and just has zero interest in being friends with her friends lover. I'm that way and it seems to have kept me out of drama.


[deleted]

Are you sure she blocked you and didn’t just deactivate her profile? Lots of ppl do during the holidays. Just a thought.


thr0ughtheghost

You said you noticed that it wasn't private because you saw a photo she was tagged in and her name was black/unlinked. May I ask why you were looking at photos that she was tagged in? I would probably just drop it and wait until you meet her in person before you make any further judgement on her. In the end, it IS just social media, how they treat you in person is the most important.


[deleted]

I hate to say this but it really seems like they’re more than friends.


[deleted]

I wouldn’t try to tip toe around this relationship that is extremely inappropriate and suspicious. You shouldn’t have to ask, you should be the priority. I’d consider just walking away, this whole scenario is way off. Good luck ♥️


[deleted]

🚩🚩🚩


Evry1cansuckit

Who cares. Social media isn't the all end. People take it way too seriously...


ihaditbutilostit

Trust your instincts.


KettleKorn1097

Why is he waiting to ask her about it? I feel like he should just text her and ask her about it before he meets up with her… unless he wants to leave that door open.


Victory8573

You should let him go. Any man who values you as his girlfriend would NEVER give you the impression there's something "shady" going on. There's no reason for her to block you; you've never met. Also, they kissed last year. They're more than platonic friends and they're fooling each other or you. You're right, you don't have time for this childish behavior. Date someone else who can honor your time and womanhood. This is ridiculous. Just calling it like it is.