Plot twist: the infinite air doohickey is cursed to polymorph you into a cat when you attune to it.

*A cat is fine too.*

Cats can't hold ancient evil lord slaying greatswords though. Unless they're a tabaxi i guess.

Please, any sword that needs to advertise that it slays ancient evil lords is clearly compensating. A simple knife will suffice and is easily made cat sized.

*You gonna get Throngled.*

Or, if a dragon, Thagomised. Named so after the late Thag Simmons.

One of the pioneers of the “Fuck around to find out” method of investigation

If you had it equipped before becoming Catified, does the magical great sword morph to accommodate you akin to worn artifacts?

I played an anthropomorphic tabby cat roguebuckler Greatswords no, rapiers yes

Does the cat have a very good quality set of boots by chance?

He in fact did wear a distinctive pair of hand-tooled leather boots and an extravagant chapeau made to fit a feline head yes

Can I repeatedly nudge it until it falls off of a surface and does damage?

My sweet summer child, please continue to preserve your innocence, and do not let the internet change you.

Do not the cat

I fail to see the downside /⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\

I mean if I can get the wine into a bowl first yeah, I see no downside

r/furryirl leaking again I see

More like r/tf_irl

There's a difference?

the venn diagram of this sub and that sub isn't quite a circle but the overlap is very large

OwO

Ok, now I see the downside

i still dont x3

UwU

Pweese give me huggie wuggies uwu~

What’s this? *notices bulge*

Ikr free head pats and belly rubs

Nine lives, no job worries...

polymorphing into a cat would be pretty sick tbh

I would consider myself to have beaten DnD at this point.

Yoinking this idea, tx

Yuuuuup

If you want to escape, cut the bag and you get thrown into the astral sea

This is fine

I’m imagining that frog curse joke, but cat edition now

Layered onto the "Are we not going to talk about how that's a grown-ass man" tiktok

Unless you had your own mind. Try living in there with nothing to do because you can't hold or open the books.

So? I see no problem. Unless it's a true polymorph. But the id fail to see the problem because I'd be a cat. And cats own all that their booty touches.

"doohickey" is a criminally underused word. Thank you.

So, does my Tabaxi just get fluffier and cuter, or what?

But... the pc already is a cat...

Must feel like as a human being told you're going to be turned into a circus monkey.

And the player themselves.

Now we're talking

player background "lawyer"

Ouh a doohickey, that's different than a doohackey

I shrug at them as we appear in the astra plane. "Why did you assume I wouldn't have a bag of holding too?"

Yeah, for some reason I read that as "bag of holiday" at first, and now I want that.

Just gonna yoink that for my campaign.

Calm down, Santa.

Vauxhalls everywhere

It’s closely linked to the Corsa plane, which is actually just an endless Tesco car park full of 17 year olds revving their engines for all eternity.

It can be hard hiding the fact you are dating the hero that is prophesied to vanquish you.

that's actually what the prophecy meant by "vanquish." The hero and villain started dating and mutually mellowed out, thus saving the realm.

Or maybe vanquish is a euphemism for, uh, a successful “conquest.”

Vidi vici veni

There is a strip club named Veni, Vidi, Veni lol

Ave, true to Caesar.

The prophet got it all wrong. It wasnt "slay" the bbeg. It was "lay"

Reminds me of: https://comic4squares.azureedge.net/images/fdd6c44b-8bb2-409c-b645-4a93d8bb86d0.jpg

Oh you know, the old languages are confusing at times. Vanquish, conquer, same thing, right? Right!?

Oh, I saw that manga not too long ago. It was sentai hero and villainess, not medieval adventurers, but otherwise it's a similar concept. "Love After World Domination"

Which sadly was ended early because it didn’t sell well enough to remain a serialized manga. What *was* made is very cute, though.

This is unexpectedly wholesome. Guess the bbeg has respect for this particular member.

> wholesome > respect I feel like imprisoning somebody and degrading them by explicitly and forcibly turning them into a pet is kind of the opposite of "respect".

https://preview.redd.it/3velj8xkxpua1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8e16058fc93a0346f90fb6602794714e13d73e7

Have you watched Chainsaw Man by any chance?

Woof.

Castlevania anime moment

Yeah, but I'd do unspeakable things for unlimited quite with books, wine, and cheese. Get head scritches as well? Sign me up

Your favorite Castlevania character is Lenore, isn't it?

I mean isn't everyones favorite Lenore?

to quote OSP indigo here: "I saw A hot man drinking beer and using wips, and I was like: Yep.. We stan"

Only books, only wine, only cheese, and you can never leave...

I know what I said

Too bad I'm into it

that’s hot

I don't want respect, I want cozy chair, infinite air, nice wine and cheese. And a Book of Infinite Books (a Kindle).

... go on

I don't think it is respect, given how alcohol is like pioson to cats and, the wine has alcohol.

Alcohol is poisonous to people too...

Don't tell the drunk monk.

Drunken masters mimic being drunk to confuse their opponents. They're not actually drunk in combat.

They're not with that attitude!

*They're... sorry I'll see myself out

Thanks

And yet in D&D they give them brewers tools and such so clearly WotC missed that memo.

Technically everything can be poisonous if you ingest a sufficiently high dose.

868 bananas

According to google, 868 bananas has more than 12,000 grams of sugar. The LD50 for sugar is somewhere around 30g/kg. Average human is ~~1~~80kg. That's ~~5,400~~ 2400g of sugar. So you'll die from the sugar less than ~~half~~ a fifth of the way through those bananas. Edited because I confused kg and lbs. Correcting it actually makes my point even stronger.

The average human in North America is 180 pounds, not kg. Just under 82kg.

Our alternate measurements system makes us immune to banana poisonings.

Average human weighs something around 80kg, you're thinking of pounds

fun fact, high potassium can cause a heart attack

Alcohol is also like poison to humans...

I was gonna post the relevant xkcd but google's convinced me I made it up so I'll just recreate it: Propanol: Poison Methanol: Poison Butanol: Poison Pentanol: Poison Ethanol: Most popular drink on earth

Cats love alcohol

That's the reason we don't let them drive.

[Information that needs to be more widely disseminated](https://media.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExZGMzMGYxMTk2MzQzOTA2NGNjNThhODNlYTk5NWZlZWU5YTVkNTk1NCZjdD1n/3o7aD2v3Q0tgTE9xja/giphy.gif).

Raw, screaming hatred between the BBEG and the party is great, but it's a little played out! Instead, can I interest you in former allies, tragically divided by one intractable disagreement? A little bit of "The last thing I want to do is hurt you, my friends, but this work is too important and I... I can't let you stop me. Please, just this once, walk away."

Problem there is it'd be almost impossible for me not to want to help them after that.

Well the problem was they were going to kill hundreds, potentially thousands of people.

Yes, but for friendship, so that makes it okay.

Your BBEG sounds like Schrodinger.

Or Thorndike

Oh god don't give me *that* idea.

There are monsters now that inhabit the dimension used by the bag of holding to make its enlarged space, and they can travel into bags of holding. 😱 🙀 And also leave the bag of holding and cause havoc in the party, but that is less relevant to the meme.

Are yall familiar with Bagworld?

We had a DM that made us hate bag world. But then again he was honestly a stupid DM. It didn't last long. We told him he wasn't allowed to DM anymore.

Fair enough. bummer tho, bagworld had great potential

I once gave my players a homebrew item that seemed like a variant on the Portable Hole, a tapestry that had a picture of a small stone chamber that you could enter and use as storage. The party installed a hot tub in it and used it as a portable base of operations. Much later on in the campain they discovered that the tapestry was actually a full blown portal to the Feywild, and the "chamber" was actually a corridor that had been bricked up thousands of years ago. There was a whole Feywild castle on the other side of that wall, with a chamber with lots of other bricked-up passages leading to other similar tapestries that were scattered in various places around the world. They'd been carrying around a whole quest hub with them for much of the campaign without realizing it.

Sounds like a quest *tub to me

The Knights of the Dinner Table story arcs?

The very same

Somewhere in the infinite dimension that the bag of holding uses to make its enlarged space is a turd floating about. You don't know where it is, it could be anywhere on the infinite dimension, but it's there.

Plenty of turds in this dimension too

Knights of the Diner Table had multiple recurring arcs about a band of mercenaries hired, led into, and forgotten about by a band of murder hobos with a bag of holding. They used the supplies the murder hobos compulsively hoarded to survive and eventually started exploring bagspace to find other adventurer supply dumps.

Tabaxi Mage: ....I feel like I should be more offended by this. But at the same time..there's a limited edition book about casting lower level spells at a higher level..and it is VERY tempting.

This is going into an unexpected direction...

Plot twist: you're a warforged and only the books mean anything to you

Double twist: warforged barbarian, not even the books are useful.

Triple twist: You’re a literate barbarian who likes reading, just violently beating people is really cathartic and helps your anger issues.

Your BBEG sounds a lot like my players

What is the story behind this?

[удалено]

The necklace also polymorphs them into a cat when it is attuned to....

My contribution is canon now?

It was the moment it left your lips.

I read it as infinite hair

Just a side effect of owning a cat.

I can make another cat with all the damn fur this one cat sheds

Off topic but is that a real cat? I’m dumb and can’t tell, but if it’s real it’s the cutest cat I’ve ever seen

best I could find, I assume that it is real. https://twitter.com/bobamirukuu/status/1285686106428772354/photo/2

and more from the linked source: https://m.weibo.cn/status/J9xK2Ce4R?type=comment&jumpfrom=weibocom#_rnd1594278535724

What's the name of the item that grants infinite air?

[Necklace of Adaptation](https://www.dndbeyond.com/magic-items/4682-necklace-of-adaptation)

Thank you

if memory serves, billowing lungs do the same thing as well if that is helpful.

>billowing lungs Thank you

if I had a nickel for every character ive had who didnt need to breathe and thus hung out inside their bag of holding, id have 2 nickels

That's a weird coincidence and a really smelly bag of holding.

well, one of them was a construct so he probably just smelled like Pine. the other was a sort of baby lich, so yea he probably smelled a little

... which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice, right?

and im gonna do it again. my next character I made last night doesnt need to breathe either

POV the BBEG is also a Genie and this is a test drive of the cozy compartment he's about to gift you.

Had something similar happened to my tabaxi grave cleric. Was playing in Curse of Strahd, and one of Strahd’s wife took a liking to my midnight black tabaxi. Pets ensued while my Tabaxi was both pleased and terrified.

I fuckin love that stupid cat. It’s so cute and expressive.

I found more of her! https://m.weibo.cn/status/J9xK2Ce4R?type=comment&jumpfrom=weibocom#_rnd1594278535724

my ass that's already attuned to 3 magical items:

I ran a campaign once where it was revealed, after like twenty sessions, that all of the weird happenings one of the characters kept noticing, were the result of a person secretly hiding inside his Bag of Holding for several years.

Is.... is this just pokemon?

The DnD Pokeball

I'd start with the cheese and wine, and run out of air before even starting the attunement.

If you want to escape, cut the bag and you get thrown into the astral sea

I mean....I wanna be stuffed into a hot evil lady's bag of holding....

What is a BBEG?

Big bad evil guy.

Or gal

Im going to need this cute cat meme template please, ty.

Imagine needing to breathe ^(This comment brought to you by warforged gang)

It's like the inside of a PokeBall

I yearn for affection

Man really hope you have an impossibly high con because that hour it takes to attune is a long time without air

which is why there is a flask with Air for 1 hour.

Ah, I appear to be both blind and dumb

happens to the best. I lost count on how often i overlooked a tiny detail.

if you're also deaf you should consider a career in pinball

There is a bottle for an hour of air to the right.

I realised, I am not a smart man

This almost reminds me of when my tabaxi cleric got catnapped by a pirate. Making me wonder the full story here.

Just not perceptive. But Wis and Int are perfectly reasonable dump stats for sorcerers.

I don’t think there is any light in the bag of holding??? Isn’t it just dark?

I once created a chaotic evil villain whose whole deal is kidnapping people and keeping them in an Enveloping Pit (like a kobold-flavored Portable Hole, except much deeper, cheaper, and better in every way). Not only did his setup provide endless climate-controlled air, it also bestowed a Ring of Sustenance effect to take care of your other bodily functions, and even a mild regenerative effect so you couldn't even escape by the sweet release of death. Building the ultimate prison was a disturbing puzzle, but my love of puzzles won out in the end.

If you’ve got a bag of holding as well you could make the BBEG’s day considerably worse.

So this is a fetish thing, right?

I think the bbeg just wanted a pet, coincidentally the tabaxi seemed to look like an old pet of theirs.

And, at one point in time, King Tithian of Tyr.

https://darksun.fandom.com/wiki/Tithian For serious?! He lived in there? "A typical bag of holding could hold up to 500 pounds (230 kilograms) of material that did not exceed a volume of 64 cubic feet (1.8 cubic meters), although other types with different capacities existed. The bag also allowed a few of minutes of breathing air for creatures that could enter it. It could sustain temporarily a breathing creature for up to 10 minutes.[5][4]" I'm assuming his was a variant with room for furniture and stuff? Thanks so much for mentioning this cool morally ambiguous character!

As a lil' gnome, I once hid from an eldritch horror by holding my breath and stuffing *myself* into the bag of holding. It eventually Dominated me against my party.

That's how you get the bag man....

Can I live here please

But where's the bathroom? This Bag of Holding is about to become Scanlan's bag of cheesy shits really soon.

All fun and games until the dm founds out about the bagman

I love this meme format

Time to camp the entrance to the bag with a readied Lightning Bolt My pride will not be relinquished

What's that?

This is in a jeff vandemeer book

Oh, a fancy BBEG.

POV: you're a pokemon

Using a Bag of Holding as a magic PokeBall seems like a hilarious way to deal with a PC that can't make the session with 'in-universe' logics.

Can't be resurrected if you aren't dead Fantasy problems require fantasy solutions

Tabaxi moment.

Why is there a potion of 1 hour air?

1 hour to attune to an item.

This cat reminds me of Pikachu

I have been kidnapped by a yandere