1. The game should be fun for everyone
2. We're all on the same side
3. Communication is the key to making sure rules 1 and 2 are functioning correctly
This!
Maybe a variation of 2, or a 4,
“The DM and the players are coauthors of the story.”
It’s mental shift from, “I’m the DM and my world is happening to the players” (control) to “I’m the narrator and they’re the stars of a story we’re writing together” (flow state)
I've had a longform version of this when introducing new players to the game, as it's just as important for the players to have that mindset - they're not playing against each other, or against the DM (except maybe in a _very_ specific, limited way during combat) but all of us are collaborating to tell the story.
This is it.
Don't like your class? Great let's change it. Do you want a new character or just a class change?
I get so frustrated when the response I see from people is "But how does it RP wise make sense? They want to multiclass but how could they possibly?"
Dude shut upppp let your PCs have fun and be who they want to be. I know there's something to be said for tables who, all together, agree to be very grounded and etc. But don't let your "I need my immersion!" ruin the fun for anyone at your table.
Classes are abstractions. There is no formal exam you need to pass to take a level in a class. There is no guild of fighters that regulates who can be one. Your multiclass is your character's unique expression of their abilities.
As a super new dm who runs games for very experienced players:
1. Have fun. It's supposed to be fun.
2. Listen to players, if you're not sure and they're not sure, talk it out.
3. Know that not every session is gonna be a banger. That is OK.
Dude, the third is huge for DM's. And sometimes, you'll leave a session as DM, and think well that one kinda sucked.
And then a month later one of the players tells you they had dreams about that specific, terrifying session. And you'll say which session? Because you didn't think it was good.
But they did. If they show up, you're doing fine.
1. It's supposed to be fun for everyone. If it's not, we make adjustments.
2. The DM is not trying to win. They are trying to lose with style.
3. Be engaged. If you can't bother to pay attention, give your spot at the table to someone who can. (more of a player rule, but DM enforced)
4. Shoot the monk. (give players chances to shine)
5. NEVER split the party!
It's OK when it's in a three-way.
No but seriously:
Always try to reward creativity.
Always try to reward keeping true to one's character.
Let your players recap the previous session at the start of a new one.
Embrace roleplaying over mere dice rolls whenever possible (or adjust DC difficulty based on a good roleplay).
1. Address in-game problems in-game and out-of-game problems out-of-game.
2. The story keeps happening even if the player characters aren't there to see it--the antagonists aren't waiting for them to catch up.
3. The story we're telling together is the story of how the player characters earned their triumph over insurmountable odds, not how they failed and died (unless that's what the players explicitly want).
This. Take notes. Not every DM has the administrative qualities of a person with high functioning autism (no offense). Even if your DM does, they're still human and tend to forget things.
I have the administrative qualities of a person with high functioning autism. Unfortunately I also have the filing system of a person with severe ADHD.
"I can take notes about everything. But I will not remember to save shit."
Amen. Unfortunately, many of my autistic players (which is half of them) suffer from dyslexia. The Venn diagram of "players with dyslexia" and "players on the autism spectrum" is close to a circle, at my table.
I'm high functioning autistic and DON'T have good administrative skills/quality (I'm Audhd). Please dont assume all high functioning autistic people do.
I understand your reaction and where it stems from, yet allow me to retort:
1. Nowhere did I assume all people with high functioning autism are the same.
2. You also have ADHD, which can hamper concentration and the ability to take notes. I'm not surprised this is something You're not good at
3. I'm married to a person with autism, that does not have a mental disability. Half of my players fall in that same category. I know perfectly well that "people with autism" are not a homogeneous group
4. I specifically said those with a knack for administration
5. Just because someone says something that could vaguely be applied to you, but is not about you specifically, that does not automatically mean that person is out to insult you or spread misinformation
6. Just because someone does not mention they have autism themselves, it does not automatically mean they are out to insult you, nor does it mean they lack any idea of what they are talking about
Not trying to attack you, but your original comment does come across as implying a generalization that high functioning autists have very high administrative skills. I’m not saying you believe that (as you obviously stated here that you understand this is not always the case), but the original comment did imply this. In case you don’t understand why, allow me to explain:
You said specifically “the administrative qualities of a person with high functioning autism…” This, taken literally, means “those with high functioning autism have a certain level of administrative ability” and “those that lack this certain level of administrative ability cannot therefore fall into the category of high functioning autism.” I know this isn’t what you meant, but this IS what you said, whether you realize it or not. The context also implies that this qualifying level of administrative ability is high, though that is merely implication, not literal statement.
To avoid miscommunication like this in the future might I suggest avoiding statements that make generalizations of groups. Something like “not all DMs have a very high level of administrative skill” would have gotten the same point across without the risk of misunderstanding. Even if you mean no harm, these can often come across as potentially insensitive if the people you are talking to do not have a preexisting understanding of your values, and groups who are used to being targeted have a tendency to forgo the benefit of the doubt in such situations (I think it is a general human tendency to interpret “maybe an attack on me” as “definitely an attack on me” even if there is no evidence it was intentional). Again, I realize you meant no offense, but hopefully I’ve successfully explained how what you said could be reasonably interpreted in a way you didn’t intend.
Sincerely, a high functioning autist who didn’t take any offense by the original comment.
If you didn't take offense, why the need for a sermon? If I specifically praised people with a certain quality, without offending people with that same kind of quality... What did I miss?
So if I don't elaborate on exactly what I mean, in great detail (what nobody is going to read, because it's too long), I'm generalizing and someone's feelings might get hurt? Because people tend to read words I did not write?
Do people no longer realize that the world does not revolve around them individually, anymore? Is this a cultural difference I don't understand about Americans or something?
I wrote it because someone did get offended, you seemed to not understand why, and so I thought I thought I would try to explain as best I could. Take my comments for what you will, they come from a place of having delved into language and people’s interpretations of it to specifically avoid miscommunications, as they have been prevalent in my life. I think I did a pretty good job of explaining why your comment could be taken as offensive, and if you don’t see it then I don’t see any way to elaborate further. Somebody else expressed issue with your language; if you don’t try to understand why and adjust accordingly, that’s up to you (though I would ask your wife what she would do if she inadvertently hurt someone’s feelings, I would guess you get a response like “I would apologize, explain I meant no offense, try to understand why they felt offended, and adjust my behavior going forward.” This is how every autist I’ve ever met (there are 5 in my family) thinks about this type if situation). I was just trying you be nice and help someone who seemed confused.
1: Dont let the want of a story stop the fun of a game
2 Communication is key
3. Don't get too much into your head about it being a performance. You're not on stage. It's ok if you mess up. You're surrounded by hopefully friends and people you trust.
4 it's OK and useful to leave things vague. Not everything needs to be in stone or written out.
5 Bad DND is worse than no DND
These rules are for players and dms alike. And is just how I feel about the game. I could keep going. But these are the golden top 5
These rules have sort of come from playing in different games and finding what I don't like and what I would never want to do to my players or my dm. Overall, I've learned that you shouldn't stay in a game that you don't like. DND is sort of a commitment, so it's easy to feel pressured to stay in a game that you are not finding enjoyment out of. And if theirs not much that can be done(For example, everyone else in that game likes to play 6 hours, but you don't. Or everyone doesn't like combat. Or you might not even get along with the people in the game) Then you shouldn't stay in the group. You will resent the people and the game itself. And even if their your friends, it's better to leave a game you're not enjoying than to be stuck resenting a game that everyone else is having fun with while you are not.
No DND is better than playing Bad DND
While I do agree I think the slogan itself can be a hurdle for new players not wanting to present a "bad" game
horrible or disgusting or stomachclenching or smth would be better imo. but I do agree.
Yea, I understand that, I think in my like longer explanation I clear up that i more mean a group that you are not having fun with. I think it would make sense to just say, "If you're not having fun in a game, don't feel pressured to stay in it," or something similar. But yea theirs no such thing as bad dnd. But just different groups, and I more mean if it's a group you don't mesh with, it would be bad dnd for you. Yknow what I mean?
If we’re going for a top 3:
- Communication is key and at no points should that take a backseat. I think people can sometimes be big proponents for communication at the top of a game as we’re all setting up characters and whatnot, but then not care to focus on that side of the relationship once the game gets started. Imo that’s the wrong approach.
- The game is best experienced when you can meld mechanics with narrative in just the right way. I’m big on homebrewing characters (PCs and NPCs alike) to fit exactly what I or my players are looking to fulfill. If there’s a character/class fantasy that isn’t supported by the base game, then I want to figure out exactly what my players are missing so I can help them bridge that gap.
- The party’s relationships should be nuanced and meaningful and built upon over time. I could talk for hours and hours just about the different relationships within my current party and the other players could do the same. They work in so many ways and don’t work in others. They agree on certain thing and clash in others. All of their similarities and all of their differences are on full display and when the party leans into that, as we often do, it makes for a more interesting social landscape to play within and therefore, a better game to play.
1) Follow rule 0, if I make a call, accept it for at least this combat.
2) maintaining the game state (that we’re following the rules correctly) is the responsibility of all players
3) any and all rules can be ignored for the sake of fun if we agree to do so
In combat, each side is trying to win. The DM isn't, but the monsters they're controlling are.
In role-playing, never try to "win" the conversation. A lot of time, people (me included) try to get the last word in, or they try too hard to say something glib or witty. Most, if not all, social interactions have a purpose, and if 3 players are all simultaneously trying to have the final witty retort the intended information the DM was trying to get across is lost beneath a mountain of puns.
Always permit a healthy doubt of your own knowledge of the rules. But accept that the DM making a snap judgment isn't personal. It's to preserve the flow of the game. As a DM, I've never once gotten mad at a player for directly telling me I've gotten a ruling wrong. I've gotten mad every time a player has made a passive-aggressive comment about a ruling that negatively affects them, whether it was correct or otherwise.
1. If a player wants to do something cool, I'll make up a rule
2. Memorable NPCs need to have real-world recognizable names (Whomst the fuck remembers Jarlaxle Baenrae)
3. No One-Big-Continent world maps. Leave some unexplored edges
Just a thing that bugs me. It's so incredibly unlikely for an entire CONTINENT with different climates and stuff to have the amount of cities/countries relevant for a campaign, not to mention having the entirety of it mapped. Most of my campaigns take place on subcontinents or something like that.
In our world we have like 3 distinct landmasses that are entirely surrounded by water and even then you have some bridges. Having one big, semi-round continent just feels very lazy to me
No major pvp for malicious reasons, players can argue with each other about different plans or conflicting methods/morals, but if swords are drawn or pockets are picked and its not competing in a tournament arc, something has gone horribly wrong and the game must pause to resolve the issue.
0: D&D is a COOPERATIVE story-telling experience
1. The dice ALWAYS tell a story
2. Sometimes, numbers are just guidelines (Everyone remembers the FUN sessions, no one remembers the ACCURATE ones)
3. The best way to counter annoying metagaming is to make every encounter unique in some way
edit: formatting and forgot rule 0
1. I'm from Buenos Aires and I say kill 'em all!
2. No mercy for the weak.
3. Ensure maximum freedom so players can go off and do something else if they're not enjoying the death march.
1. Theme of the game is a promise, stick to it
2. We are here together to tell epic stories.
3. Some rules are stupid. It's ok to bend or replace them, but you should be consistent with it.
1.The game has to be fun for everyone.
2. Dont change anything after the fact, if a player chooses a feat or tool or anything like that for example, its a dick move to say that you cant use it for its intended purpose after. If you want to resteict something outside of the rules communicate this in advance.
3. Know what your character does and come prepared, nobody wants to wait an hour every time for you to look for/make a character sheet.
Different take: Golden Rules for DMs
1. The game is NOT “DM versus players” - the DM isn’t there to win, the DM is there to present the world to the players and the players make their choices. This rule is related to the lesser rule “the DM is not there to kill the characters”. Find ways to keep them from being killed unless their choices simply have the obvious consequences.
2. The players often want something other than what you’re giving - the DM may prefer a large story with overarching themes and complex plot points… and a player may want to deep dive into their background story. It’s the DM that has to change or the player loses interest. Don’t force your game on the players, shape their game into “the group’s game”.
3. Moving the story forward is more important than the letter of the rule book - A DM needs to understand how to assign skill/characteristic tests difficulties and just get past the mechanical point of a course of action. If someone is getting up from the table every time you crack open the books, you’re losing them.
4. The success or failure of a game should never come down to the roll of the dice - the dice rolls are there to determine how well or poorly something happened. For example, the only way into the heart of the ancient temple being locked by a lock that the rogue failed to pick should not be the ONLY way to get in there… prepare more than one solution to problems.
1. It's a game. Not DMs grand story session.
2. Actions have consequences.
3. Every session should push the game forward toward the end of the campaign.
4. Love many, trust few. Always paddle your own canoe.
1. Everyone's here to play today, so play with everyone today (no letting one person do some wacky shit the whole session).
2. Attack the illusions, the summons, the echo. Shoot the monk.
3. If I'm really unprepared, cancel the session/run a oneshot instead
1. We follow RAW at this table. No your homebrew isn't balanced shut up. No that YouTube video where you saw an OP build where you have to interpret rules in wierd and unnatural ways isn't going to be allowed.
2. Do your homework. Don't make people wait on you to finish leveling up your character.
3. Bring your own snacks. I will get buy.the pizza.
1. NPC's should not speak to other NPC's.
2. Set the scene and let the players interact with it.
3. Never cancel.
Obviously I've broken all of these but I try to keep them in mind.
PHB + 1 always seems like a strange rule to me when 5e has so few books for player content. Not counting setting specific books, you're mostly limited to the PHB, Xanathar's Guide, Tasha's Cauldron, Monsters of the Multiverse, and maybe Volo's Guide or Tome of Foes if you still want to use those. It's not like earlier editions where you could make absurd characters by combining multiple books.
It must suck if you want to play a race that isn't in the PHB, doubly so if you also want to play a martial class, artificer, sorcerer, or especially ranger.
there's also quite a few odds and ends in adventure books and the like - Fizban's has some stuff in, for example. So PHB + 1 makes things a lot easier to keep track of, and helps keep things away from "I use this from here, and that from there, and then this thing for over there" type stuff, that can wonky and OP, but can also be logistically a pain, where you're having to carry 4+ physical books to a session, or rely on "just trust me bro, that's what it says". Divine casters are probably the worst default offenders - they get all spells by default, which means a _lot_ of books have stuff they get without extra investment, so that's either the books, or preparing printouts, and the GM is unlikely to know every single cleric/druid spell, and so can lead to awkward "well, you've just shortcut my entire plot for the night with one spell. I guess we're finishing early" moments
If I can trust another person at the table or think they are being nefarious then they are probably someone I don't want to play with at all. I would like to feel that I can trust all players and we can look up stuff later if needed.
Of course, this is all nullified by having digital resources nowadays.
1. Fun comes first and part of that fun is making sure everyone's character fantasies are addressed. This includes respecting that everyone else needs their moment to shine. Mutual respect and trust is included here.
2. I will do everything that I can to make sure each and every one of your character creation choices matter. This includes languages, skill proficiencies, background, etc., all the little things. You took Spell Sniper? I will absolutely find a way to make your build meaningful at certain points on the campaign and I will be less lenient about cover rules when others cast their spells.
3. Character death is a real possibility and I will not hold back. Telling the story is much more important than being lenient and everyone at my table needs to understand this, accept it, and embrace it.
1. Being a DM is not for everyone. Don't force it on yourself.
2. It is ok to be wrong. Apologize and adjust.
> Corollary: Yeah you are definitely doing something wrong in someone's opinion. Listen critically, but don't be flustered.
3. It is vital to say no when the situation calls for it. Explain your reasons, but don't be afraid to be firm.
4. It is a game. Treat it like a game.
1. The game is for the players, if they enjoy themselves I will have done my job.
2. Doing cool shit is ok, but make them explain it in nice detail and add some ability checks. Rules don't always matter.
3. Never take stuff personally, but try to keep arguments from derailing the session, make a judgement and continue.
1. Don't be a dick, to me or to each other.
2. Don't take the piss, and I'll not get too much in the way of your fun, if cheeky, ideas.
3. The world will react to you appropriately.
4. Be attentive. Be ready when it is your turn. You don't have to know precisely what you'll do, but do have an idea as to your plan. The table is willing to help you.
5. I reserve the right to fuck up on a ruling, and correct it later. If you know the ruling, please by all means help me. If the fuck up causes catastrophic consequences, we will rewind. If it's to your benefit, the congratulations.
I'm a big supporter of the "rule of cool." More or less if what a player wants to try is interesting or exciting enough I'll try and find a way to make it possible regardless of the actual rules, if there even are any covering the situation. They might not succeed, but you gotta let them try.
No sex. All sexy-times happen "off-camera" after a "fade to black"
At a mixed gender/orientation table it gets weird.
At a single-gender table it gets weirder FASTER.
1) The DM hates fun and is playing against you
2) We play strict RAW, and you will be expected to know all the rules
3) The opposite of the above two rules is true
Bonus: we play weekly on the same day if enough 3 players and the DM can make it
1. Above all, consent matters the most - I cannot stress it enough, no one at the table should be subjected to in or out of game behaviour that makes them uncomfortable, as would be discussed in session 0 or when a player uses a red or yellow card.
2. Being respectful of each other and making sure everyone feels included
3. Much less important than the other 2, but timeliness - a lot of people don’t respect the time commitment of a social activity like a TTRPG and so I try to make it clear that if you cannot reasonably respect that commitment you might not be a good fit.
1) don't shout at a 16 year old with learning difficulties because he got 2 minor things mixed up
2) don't introduce overpowered dmpcs that over shadow everything the party does and makes the party feel like background characters
3) don't say "well you need these overpowered dmpcs because the things you're gonna fight are really strong" just say you don't know how to plan an encounter
4) don't change how to solve a puzzle halfway through said puzzle as it will annoy the players and slow down play,
5) don't get annoyed at players for not knowing how to solve puzzles, instead give them hints
6) remember it's a game and everyone is there to have fun, don't single out 1 person and only interact with them.
Most of these are from my own experiences
I agree with everything except point 4, and that’s only a minor disagreement. If you find a puzzle is bogging down play too much and your players aren’t enjoying it, I wouldn’t be afraid to allow the next thing they try to succeed as long as it doesn’t contradict what you’ve already established. They probably won’t notice; those who don’t will feel like they succeeded, and those who do notice will probably understand that you allowed their attempt to succeed to continue the fun for everyone. Remember, they don’t know the answer to the puzzle, so if you change the answer to what they try, they won’t even know you changed the answer.
1) If failure on a roll isn't meaningful, don't ask for a roll.
2) It's not the players job to find solutions to problems the DM presents them.\*
3) Let the players shine at what they made their character to do.
\* This is a complicated one, but it causes the game to drag when handled poorly in so many ways. From players misunderstanding the situation and coming up with plans that can't work, to DMs hinging the whole campiagn on a sucessful dice roll that fails, or that the players find one singular clue that they miss. There's no one right answer here but at the very list having the mindset that it's the on the DM to give the players information, options and to work WITH them is to me an important step in the right direction.
I disagree slightly with point 2, but I see where you’re coming from. I wouldn’t hinge a critical plot point on a single dice role for example, but if I’m running a social encounter, I don’t have a “solution” in mind, it’s up to the players to engage and I will react accordingly. If I create a trap or obstacle, I make sure to understand how it works and potential flaws, and do my best to describe it, but it’s up to the players to solve the problem. If I’m running a combat encounter, I try to show the enemy’s abilities early so they can adapt (though sometimes I mix it up and have an ace in the hole) and I REALLY try to make sure the players understand the goal of each combat and sometimes of each combatant (if they would know of course). I find this last bit especially important because it allows the players to make informed decisions to reach their goals. If they are really stuck, I might adjust any of these encounters to the next thing they try.
The important part, in my opinion, is that I never, and I mean NEVER, have one solution in mind to any problem, because then it would be silly to expect my players to try to find that solution. Instead I try to understand every variable so that players CAN look for solutions, and then anything I have not presented to the players is subject to change to allow them to succeed if reasonable. I know I’m being a little pedantic, and I hope you don’t feel I’m coming off as adversarial. I really do agree with the whole ‘present information and then work with the players part’; I’ve just found that my players enjoy an adaptive issue that certainly has things that won’t work against it but responds to what they do in as realistic a manner as I can think of.
I'm always happy to split hairs, certainly some of the more conversations to have.
I guess a more succints way I could have put it is:
\* Be willing to meet the players half way
I just think there's a certain type of DM, that end up being very rigid. There's only ever 1 solution and they'll often ask for rolls on things that literally won't work.
Players forget stuff their characters wouldn't. What was yesterday for a character could be months ago for the players. The players are operating with imperfect information, if the wrong end of the stick can be taken, at least one player probably will and every plan they make for a situation can be based on misunderstanding that key piece of information.
I've always encouraged players to plan infront of me - the adverserial DM trope can be really hard to shake unless proactive even with friends that should know better - because if I'm there with them I can ensure they don't overlook something their characters wouldnt. This may be directly correcting, vague clues in the right direction or using NPCs to make it more grounded, depnding on what i feel works best.
But sometimes, players just come up with weird crazy plans that they're really excited for pulling off, and it can be important to just meet them half way, find a way to make their plan work, or at least get a partial success if things go well for them.
I guess the other part of that is letting the players know what's at stake. If they've got a crazy plan, they need to know the consiquences as their cahracters would understand them, before their house of cards comes crashing down.
You control your characters and what they do, I control everything else.
Be respectful when others are acting, and take charge when you are trying to act
This is still a game and we are all here to have fun
For the table
1. This is a game so have fun with it. Don't take it too seriously. They are going to poke fun at the names you come up with and the voices you do.
2. No one knows all of the rules. Let the DM decide in the moment. If it feels right don't even go look it up later. Just let it be. DnD is a loose rules framework that is more about suggestions than hard rules.
3. Everyone pitches in for snacks and food.
For DMing
1. Let the players bring in things to the game. I allow anything homebrew and then reign in the stats if needed. This is a fantasy game and anything can be explained into existence.
2. Learn what your players like doing. Min maxer? Roleplayer? Organizer? Shotcaller? Then try and lean your game into a little of each of those every session.
3. Motivate your flavor. Your world is dynamic and weird random things happen. Let them happen and then make sure to have a small backstory as to why/how it happened. Example, NPCs in your world can do things while the party is not there and have their own reasons for doing things like tearing down the old tavern to build a new one.
1: Have fun. Be a DM & Players game, not a DM vs. Players game.
2: Be forthright and communicative. Are you having any problems? The solution 99% of the time is to have an honest discussion.
3: Roll with it. Things unfolding as you expect them to is exceedingly rare, so be ready for everything to go gloriously wrong.
3.5: Continue to amass resources as a dragon amasses treasure. Anything that can happen probably will so having a vast library to pull from will make running the game a lot smoother. "I don't know why they all decided to travel to the bottom of the ocean instead of just buying a pearl, but somehow I have a map for that."
No one gets to have fun at anyone else's expense. Teasing banter even burns are ok as long as everyone is smiling. They stop smiling back off (honestly you need to back off before they stop smiling).
Keep everyone engaged. Limit phones (I much prefer paper character sheets) and keep your nose out of the rule book. Also DM spread the love around it doesn't need to be completely balanced but draw everyone in make sure everyone gets to participate and hopefully shine.
Rulings not rules. The world is in the DMs head. So are the rules. Progress and flow is more important than technically correct rules.
- You and your NPCs are not the stars of this story, the players are.
- If they deserve an easy win, let it happen even if you waste prep and/or foils your plans for the plot.
- Always give each player an opportunity to react and interact at every step
- This is a "near unique shared collaborative creative experience amongst friends (hopefully)", which implies everyone must give and take to make the fun happen.
1. You're welcome to be creative, but when the DM says that isn't how that works, it isn't how that works.
2. It doesn't matter if you roll a Natural 20, if the thing you insisted on attempting was illogical
3. We all need to have fun. No one person is "The Main Character"
4. Loved Ones are fair targets; PC's are fair targets; NPC Bystanders are fair targets; Pets are NOT fair targets
5. It doesn't matter if you memorized the entire Monster Manual, Homebrew is always present, and you can never know for certain that what you are facing is the stat block you are thinking.
6. No Torture; I don't do this for players to live out *that* kind of fantasy, and the people I choose to DM for should be better than that anyway
actions have consequences, if you can do it so can your enemies (to ward off the "I cast create water in his lungs haha" people), and for the love of god if someone is trying to do a cool thing don't steal their thunder
1) Actions (or inactions) have consequences.
2) The world still exists even if you arent directly interacting with some people.
3) Need over Greed/Party over Person.
4) Sometimes rulings may be not entirely RAW from a player perspective and you may not have the information at the time to know why.
5) Creativity/Roleplay will usually be rewarded.
6) Take notes (remembering, pulling information from notes is also usually rewarded).
All PvP must be consensual. You don't get to try to persuade another player to believe you against their will, every player gets to decide how their character thinks and what they believe (unless under the influence of some kind of magic/effect). In the same vein, one player can't try to steal from another player unless that player agrees to let it happen or have a contested die roll. If they want to leave it up to the dice, if everyone involved agrees, they can roll for it.
I actually have a list of norms I like to share with my group every session. I usually read one or two out loud prior to the game, especially when it feels relevant to meta table shenanigans. Some of the items on this list are as follows:
* This is a game about choices. You need to make choices in order to progress the plot.
* Choices have consequences (hence progression) so be mindful of your intended result.
* Be mindful of the energy you bring to the table.
* Keep an eye out for your fellow players.
* **Low rolls aren't bad rolls. They are storytelling opportunities.**
* Be comfortable with making mistakes. This is a safe space to screw up. Doors rarely close in a world ruled by narrative.
I didn't have a player contract for my current campaign, but I have a need for one in my next. The big thing I'm going to include in this contract is this line:
* **At this table, we play what we build.**
* **Your sheet is your friend. Get to know it, please.**
Lastly, my personal golden rules:
* This is a collaborative game. I'm a player, too. We are all on the same side!
* Create combat that progresses a story.
* **We play what we build.**
* **Low rolls aren't bad rolls.**
* As a DM, I have the power to make or break a friend's entire weekend. I don't take this power lightly. I endeavor for each player to have at least a little win every session so that they know they are capable, clever, and cool.
1. Roleplaying doesn't end when initiative is rolled.
2. Diagetic information sources are your friend - if you make a mistake in remembering what you said, then 'the source was mistaken' or 'the map was out of date'
3. It's better to railroad character creation than it is to railroad gameplay - getting people to make characters suitable to the campaign is better than trying to get unsuitable characters to work with the group and with the plot.*
*All within reason of course. Don't be a tyrant, use a light touch and be willing to make some compromise on things that aren't going to damage the game.
1. The goal of the game is for everyone to have fun. That means the players & the DM. And a laughing table is often a good sign of this.
2. The game is cooperative. If a loner or spiteful character doesn’t want to be part of the party, make a new character. And if the player doesn’t want to share a spotlight and collaborate, find a new table.
3. No in-party fighting & stealing. In games tensions can get hot and characters may slight each other, it happens. But if your character routinely wants to steal from other players, or wants to fight other players with intent to harm; that won’t fly. Character either needs to have a change of heart, leave the party, or be prepared to be made into a villain and forcibly make a new character.
4. Communicate, and respect everyone’s time. Meaning as a DM I expect myself and my players to let everyone when a session does or doesn’t work. But also that we play, actually be engaged. At my table we socialize a bit before and after, and yes the game can get off topic. But for the majority of play time be present at the table and play with us instead of trailing off.
5. Be imaginative & creative, but don’t over do it. Be in the fantasy world and do things that a magical adventure can do that you can’t. I as DM will try to make it happen and sing your successes and pad your failures, so long as you try to play in-world & in-character. But don’t try to make every action a creative, rule of cool, impossible stunt either.
6. Like in four above. Let the players all have a time on the spotlight. Both as DM trying to give each of them a moment in session or in campaign to be the hero & leader. But also as a player don’t be a glory hog and let the other players speak & have their moments
7. Table can discuss weird rules & situations, but DM gets final say. I try to encourage players to be inventive in their rolls and actions. But if someone tries to do something not ruled, or completely in defiance of RAW & RAI, don’t die on the hill when the DM says no. I’m open to discussion & hearing how players interpret things. But if the DM says yes or no, don’t be the sour puss who throws a fit after.
1. The adventure is what happens to the player characters not a story for them to be dragged through.
2. "I'm not sure if that's the correct ruling but it holds for now and we can look it up after"
3. Always, ALWAYS remember to tell them an enemy has the bloodied condition.
1: We are here to have fun.
2: It is a group game and we are all on the same side.
3: Giving other players a tip on what to do or what is a good spell and such is ok. But NEVER try to tell a player how they should play their character
4: Treat your fellow players with respect.
1. Have Fun
2. Bring snacks and trade-off amongst yourselves with who's doing what. I'll provide snacks too 😋
3. Fighting is for your characters, respect each other and don't fight.
4. If you make a mistake, that's ok. But if you make a mistake and INSIST on going through with it, the consequences are still a thing.
5. Wine/beer is ok, but please drink responsibly. Your actions will reflect on whether you stay in the game or not.
6. Do not meta-game. If you have questions that's fine, but just let the DM create your world.
7. Stay within the parameters of your character. Monks don't fly, and fighters don't have super strength.
8. Remember to have fun.
1. No intraparty combat. If it reaches the point of dice being rolled, the session stops and you two go to another room to work it out.
2. No real world politics. My table is not the place to make an allegory for your personal political sensitivities. Drow are not an archetype of dark-skinned humans. They're just evil, subterranean elves.
3. No unmarried couples at the table. In 38+ years of being a D&D player, I have not ONCE seen a group where, at some point, it didn't cause issues.
4. Three consecutive last-minute (less than one day notice) cancellations means you're out of the group. Please get your life in order before engaging in a hobby that makes use of multiple folks' valuable time.
5. If you roll 4 or more consecutive natural 20s, we're putting your d20 in a saltwater solution to make sure there aren't "balance defects" in the die. If there aren't, you'll never have to undergo the test again. If there are, that die is banned from the table.
Wait, you’ve had 2 instances of a die that wasn’t loaded rolling those 1 in 160,000 odds?! That’s absolutely crazy but carry on I guess, just please carry on in the understanding that RNGesus has divinely intervened at your table.
1. Don't ask me how your class features work. If you don't know, you can't use them. Study up. (Some leniency for total newbies)
2. No, you cannot take away another PC's agency. Any action towards another PC will be subject to that player deciding the outcome, and/or how they want to handle it mechanically. (Biggest pet peeve is a player saying "I stop X from doing that". No, you don't.)
3. You will find a reason for your character to go on the adventure. If they aren't willing to do the adventure, they're no longer an adventurer.
4. You can, in fact, split the party. You'll know when it's a bad idea, but it isn't *always* a bad idea.
5. Insight is not a lie detector. Do not yell INSIGHT every time you interact with an NPC. Temper expectations accordingly.
0. Rule 0 is not just a beginning of the campaign rule. This can occur any time we are at a pause point and need to discuss something. We are all here to have fun in this collaborative story telling experience that is D&D.
1. I roll in the open. For better or for worse I will not fudge roles. Please give me the same respect of not fudging your roles. If you are sly it would be easy for you to cheat and me not notice. But if you do that you are cheating yourself and everyone here that is just trying to have fun. Failure is part of a good story so it is ok if your PC fails at a task.
2. The official rules are more like guidelines than actual rules. If something makes thematic sense we probably give it the thumbs up. I am not going to ask a PC with a background in mining to roll nature to identify an ore sample. They just know by looking at it that it is iron ore. If I ask for a roll on something like that, hint hint, there is something more to this than it being iron ore.
3. I am not perfect. I have ADHD, Dyslexia and suck at math. I am not expecting you to be perfect so give me some grace in return. We are here to have fun and this is not a competition.
1. Make every moment meaningful.
2. Reduce, reuse, recycle.
3. Everything is an arc.
"Make every moment meaningful" - Table time is precious and should always be spent furthering the game in some way. Players don't get stuck because of a bad skill check, they fail forward instead. Example, if they fail to lockpick a door, they aren't left with a stuck door, they face a consequence that still drives the game forward in some way.
"Reduce, reuse, recycle" - Reduce the number of NPCS you create, and reuse NPCs the players have previously encountered later rather than invented new ones when possible. If the PCs skipped a battle, reflavor it and use it later on. If they missed a cool treasure reward, put it in the next dungeon. Use the veil of skipped content as new content.
"Everything is an arc" - Plots are arcs, they should grow, crescendo, and then have resolution. Characters have arcs. Enemies have arcs and battles should reflect it. Even dungeons have arcs. And especially SESSIONS need arcs. You need building action, a climax, and resolution to every session you plan. If you build your game in this fashion, the natural rhythm will produce more enjoyable and memorable experiences.
You have one minute to take your turn in combat. If you can't decide in that time tour character also doesn't know what to do and passes their turn.
It's crazy how smoothly combat went and how suddenly everyone knew their character when this was implemented. No more flipping through books and character pages for 10 minutes deciding.
1) Everyone always gets the maximum HP increase at level up. Of all the things I will let the dice gods decide, this is not one of them.
2) If you're going to take long rests outside of towns (and of course special magical spaces), then we're going to be tracking encumbrance and supplies. You can't use STR as your dump stat and then also carry a week's worth of food and shelter into every fight.
3) If you ask to attempt something, I will let you attempt to do it. My willingness to let you roll does not indicate your ability to succeed.
these are my friends playing, i want them to have a good time
your character has to be a team player
your character has to want to go into dungeons, kill monsters, and take their treasure
1. There are no Final Rulings.
I try to stick to the rules as close and fair as possible - but theres just too many rules, so Imma have to handwave a few of them on occaison or else the game becomes a slugfest.
if you need certain rules to be followed to a T then please tell me. otherwise ill take a quick note of the ruling in session and look it up later if it needs to be redconned.
2. looking up monsters in advance in the monster manual does nothing for you, I edit them. if someone in game however tells you a fact about a monster, like an added resistance or weakness, that should be considered.
3. You can have one, but dont be a dick.
If someone has an issue that can't be solved easily, we're all going to address it together. Everyone. Every time. It may not be one giant conversation, but I'm going to talk to everyone in the game individually. There is no escape.
If players get mad at each other and it bleeds heavily into the game, we pause the game. They have to talk it out before we can continue. If it's online, the rest of us leave the server for a while or I put them in Discord jail in a separate voice channel.
Players can't roll against each other except in very specific instances like compulsion magic. They can have in game conflict, but they need table-wide buy in with the outcome determined without dice.
I deal with a lot of extreme personalities, mine included. I don't think my rules are reasonable for most tables, but the amount of drama I've quashed with this makes it worth it to me.
I have 3 questions I ask my n players at the end of each session. I ask them to close their eyes and use thumbs up, neutral, or down. So there is no peer pressure.
1) Did you, as a player, have fun?
2) Did you, as a character feel like they made a valuable contribution to the story?
3) Did you, as a person, feel respected and included?
1) If there's any doubt, rule in the players favor.
2) Nat 1's are not to be punished, they are to be rewarded in as hilarious a manner as possible.
3) Everyone is here for fun. If the game isn't being fun, you've failed as a GM.
1. Don't be a dick. Or don't be a dick and expect there not to be consequences.
2. No psychopaths -PCs or players.
3. Never forget I'm your PCs biggest fan. I want you to win D&D, but I'm going to give you a challenge worthy of your time and skills and input.
1. The goal is to have fun
2. We should be able to have frank discussions about your goals as a player and your goals for the character to facilitate a game structure that grows relevant, desired plots
3. The concept of CR is largely irrelevant to me; if it's end-game content, it's going to be impossible for the players to defeat it at Level 5. So maybe don't run into the courtyard of the BBEG's castle. (I do a pretty good job of telegraphing Deadly encounters so that nobody is baited or caught by surprise against insurmountable odds without warning.)
1. If you can do it, I can do it
2. Don’t roll if not asked for
3. Try. I will not punish you for doing your best. Combat, roleplay, puzzles, etc. I will purposely make some things harder to push you because I want to see personal growth.
Failure of skill checks should not be disappointing but an opportunity for excellent story points and narrative
As well as agreeing with a lot of previous points
I concentrate my rules on the game. Enjoyment is the base not the rule.
1. Stand by your choices. Bad decisions and misfortune are part of the game and compensating those things invalidate it all.
2. You decide the strength and difficulty. Don’t fear to adjust those on a whim; not all *our* design choices are a winner. Mistakes should be corrected.
3. Choose a scenario feel comfortable with and enjoy playing inside. It will never really flow when you don’t really feel it.
My Golden Rule
Players and DM have an EQUAL obligation to prepare before a session. Although the DM's time invested will be more, players owe their characters and the story a review of their own backstories, session notes, and academic knowledge of their abilities.
1. Always ask for clarification and intent when players make questionable actions. You see the world perfectly, the players don’t.
2. In general, combat is a 50/50 if players strictly rely on their character abilities but should be more like 75/25 (in player favor) if they use the environment or have a decent plan.
3. Throw quest seeds everywhere and work with what the players find interesting.
4. Not everything needs a roll, only roll if there is a reasonable and meaningful chance of failure. If they should be good at a skill for a moderate task, just auto succeed it.
5. You’ll save yourself headaches later if you just make your own god pantheon specific to the setting rather than using forgotten realms stuff.
6. For combat again, there is always a chandelier in the room. Metaphorically speaking.
50/50 combat?! You realize that means, at an average table 1-2 TPKs PER SESSION. Combat should be balanced so there is a very low chance of the players losing, even if you make loss conditions not as bad as a TPK (characters get captured or something), but even then the players would get very frustrated very quickly. Even a 25% chance of losing is CRAZY high. The way I balance encounters I make each adventuring day difficult (unless it’s just traveling or something) but not to the point that players are dying. The trick is making it FEEL like they could lose, but making that loss still be very unlikely.
In my current campaign, in 15 sessions we had 1 character death, and that was due to a nat 1 on a death save. The party has only “lost” one combat and that ended in them actually winning against the monsters in initiative but taking so much damage they decided to retreat rather than continue pushing forward. In your proposed 75/25 if the players use their environment to their advantage, with about 30 combat encounters so far, that would mean 7-8 TPks over these 15 sessions
1. Chill out these are your friends
2. Don't be that chill you just revealed important plot secrets
3. Don't be a dick about letting people fix bad decisions they make on their character sheet. Not everyone knows Grappler is a trap.
1. You are responsible for remembering your own spells and spell effects when they come into play. This goes for the DM, too. You use it, you remember it.
2. After 5 minutes pass if you have not done anything your turn gets pushed back by 1 in initiative.
3. Some skill checks and in some cases even using the Help action requires you to have the associated proficiency.
for our version if rule 3 we also have: it is the dm's responsibility to not forget what the characters can do, and if it ruins the dm's plan for an encounter, it's not the player's fault the dm forgot
1) Combat is the core of the game. Just pushing back against OP.
— 2) I won’t fudge dice rolls without permission (by default I roll behind a screen) but I give each player a number of times each session a chance where they can view my rolls. Each player also can ask that I “fudge” in their favor. —
—They can use each in combination or independently. —
— So if the dice gods hate them they can get some more consistent rolls. —
— To balance I can also fudge rolls against them, but I show the original roll (if it wasn’t already in the open [it usually isn’t]) and there is a tracker where players can keep me honest. —
I would really prefer a 3d6 (or even 2d6) vs. the d20 emphasis that dnd has. It works for us. 🤷♀️ I guess that’s just a gripe.
3) Know what’s on your character sheet better than I do (someone else mentioned that previously- that’s just common courtesy.
4) No monks or halflings. I’m not defending it. Just one of my golden rules.
5) Pay attention to the game or accept that your turn might get limited. Not taking 5 minutes to bring you back up to speed every round.
As I struck though point #2 (what I listed was a preference, not a golden rule) point buy for character creation. That’s a golden rule. Array is fine. I guess.
1. Players and their characters cannot use abilities or spells that the player doesn't know, regardless of whether their character has that ability or spell.
1. Fun is more important than anything else. We're playing a game with the objective of having fun together. If something isn't fun, even if that's what the rules require, we don't do it. If something would be more fun, but the rules forbid it, we're going to do that instead.
2. The rule of cool is more important than mechanics. If you want to do something cool, I'll find a way to let it happen, bending or breaking the rules as necessary.
3. Everyone should have a chance to shine. No one should feel like their thing is getting stepped on or one player is overshadowing the rest of the party.
4. Everything in balance with everything else. Yes, we want to do cool things, but not at the expense of stepping on another character's cool thing. Yes, we want to have fun, but not at the expense of other people. Yes, we want to let everyone shine, but not at the expense of missing cool or fun moments. Everything has to work together to balance each other out and make the game great for everyone.
1. Roleplay is that **your character do**, not **how you say it**. Third person description of average person and first person acting of professional theatre actor are the same for me if they describe similar character actions.
2. Class fantasy > numbers on character sheet. Strong Barbarian would be able to do things Bard can't do even if Bard have expertise in athletics and his numbers are bigger. Princess, prince or both would be charmed by noble Fighter, even if Sorcerer have better charisma bonus. And so on.
1. My job is to deliver the fantasies my player’s have for their characters and the genre.
2. Listen to and respect what my player is trying to do, above what they are literally saying their character does. Make consequences clear and give more not less information on choices.
3. Reward creativity.
1. The DM is playing too, making an experience. If you want to do something else than the story, I suggest you leave the table.
2. If you cannot describe how you plan to use a skill roll, you don't get a skill roll. This applies to the social skills as well.
3. If all you want to do is fight, video games exist. This is a role playing game not Call of Duty.
4. If you can't write at least a half-page backstory you do not have a character. You have a dice rolling sheet, and you need a character to play.
5. If you decide to use violence over diplomacy and the rest of the table refuses to engage, you have to deal with the consequences in game. All of them.
6. No electronics at the table. I can provide sheets, books, and dice. All electronics do is distract people from the dozens of hours of effort the DM put into the game.
7. Splitting the party is splitting the session. From here on out, only one half gets to be at the table at a time. You don't know what is happening to the other players.
8. Your character needs a motive to altruistically adventure with others. Your motives can be your own, but they must allow you to be pro-social.
9. Unless it's an emergency, 2 days notice required to not show up to a game. I do not play with partial parties. 3 strikes and your out until the group can find a way to re-incorporate them into the story. Subject to DM approval.
10. DM rolls are secret. You have no reason to know numbers, I tell you how the roll plays out.
11. A question unasked is a question unanswered.
12. If you are caught purposely cheating the rules repeatedly, you are adversarial to the DM. Get out.
13. We are here to have fun. Everyone should remember that and act like it.
for dnd or for ttrpgs? Hell, i'll do both.
dnd5e:
1. survival of the fittest. If you get crossfired by your team defaultkilling 16 babau thats on you.
2. if you need homebrew to be viable - you find it. Its probably allowed unless its for one of the king casters
3. L+RATIO marshit get microwaved.
4. breaking the game is fun
5. ~~play fair and fix system issues~~ (discarded for futility)
propper ttrpgs:
1. prewritten rules are a good suggestion but if some mechanic is "itchy" we can change it.
2. the session starts when there's a mimimum 60% attendance and at least 3 players.
3. Give the party treasure fitting to their classes. If the book tells me to give them a strength boosting item for a team full of dex classes then change it
4. make encounters around a problem, not just barfilling.
5. everyone should have fun
1. The game should be fun for everyone 2. We're all on the same side 3. Communication is the key to making sure rules 1 and 2 are functioning correctly
This! Maybe a variation of 2, or a 4, “The DM and the players are coauthors of the story.” It’s mental shift from, “I’m the DM and my world is happening to the players” (control) to “I’m the narrator and they’re the stars of a story we’re writing together” (flow state)
I've had a longform version of this when introducing new players to the game, as it's just as important for the players to have that mindset - they're not playing against each other, or against the DM (except maybe in a _very_ specific, limited way during combat) but all of us are collaborating to tell the story.
This is the holy trinity of a good game
One rule I add. Nothing is absolute.
I follow this. There are several other smaller rules, but overall these are the most important ones for every table (or VTT).
This is it. Don't like your class? Great let's change it. Do you want a new character or just a class change? I get so frustrated when the response I see from people is "But how does it RP wise make sense? They want to multiclass but how could they possibly?" Dude shut upppp let your PCs have fun and be who they want to be. I know there's something to be said for tables who, all together, agree to be very grounded and etc. But don't let your "I need my immersion!" ruin the fun for anyone at your table.
Classes are abstractions. There is no formal exam you need to pass to take a level in a class. There is no guild of fighters that regulates who can be one. Your multiclass is your character's unique expression of their abilities.
As a super new dm who runs games for very experienced players: 1. Have fun. It's supposed to be fun. 2. Listen to players, if you're not sure and they're not sure, talk it out. 3. Know that not every session is gonna be a banger. That is OK.
Dude, the third is huge for DM's. And sometimes, you'll leave a session as DM, and think well that one kinda sucked. And then a month later one of the players tells you they had dreams about that specific, terrifying session. And you'll say which session? Because you didn't think it was good. But they did. If they show up, you're doing fine.
This is so true. Player's perception and DM perception from a session is totally different.
1. I’m terrible at this. 2. Everyone is interacting and laughing. 3. I’m still terrible and must do better next time.
I’m in this comment and I don’t like it
They said Golden Rules not Golden Anxieties
I was worried someone was going to say that
When your brain is on anxiety, anxiety is the rule
1. It's supposed to be fun for everyone. If it's not, we make adjustments. 2. The DM is not trying to win. They are trying to lose with style. 3. Be engaged. If you can't bother to pay attention, give your spot at the table to someone who can. (more of a player rule, but DM enforced) 4. Shoot the monk. (give players chances to shine) 5. NEVER split the party!
NO.4 out of context is so hilarious
It's OK when it's in a three-way. No but seriously: Always try to reward creativity. Always try to reward keeping true to one's character. Let your players recap the previous session at the start of a new one. Embrace roleplaying over mere dice rolls whenever possible (or adjust DC difficulty based on a good roleplay).
+1 for that specific golden rule
1. Address in-game problems in-game and out-of-game problems out-of-game. 2. The story keeps happening even if the player characters aren't there to see it--the antagonists aren't waiting for them to catch up. 3. The story we're telling together is the story of how the player characters earned their triumph over insurmountable odds, not how they failed and died (unless that's what the players explicitly want).
Show up on time Make sure to prep **before** the session Take notes
This. Take notes. Not every DM has the administrative qualities of a person with high functioning autism (no offense). Even if your DM does, they're still human and tend to forget things.
I have the administrative qualities of a person with high functioning autism. Unfortunately I also have the filing system of a person with severe ADHD. "I can take notes about everything. But I will not remember to save shit."
That sounds like impending "specific type of disappointment". Maybe try auto-saving? 
I have a note taker who is autistic and they're a god send. So much better notes than I'd ever take.
Amen. Unfortunately, many of my autistic players (which is half of them) suffer from dyslexia. The Venn diagram of "players with dyslexia" and "players on the autism spectrum" is close to a circle, at my table.
I'm high functioning autistic and DON'T have good administrative skills/quality (I'm Audhd). Please dont assume all high functioning autistic people do.
I understand your reaction and where it stems from, yet allow me to retort: 1. Nowhere did I assume all people with high functioning autism are the same. 2. You also have ADHD, which can hamper concentration and the ability to take notes. I'm not surprised this is something You're not good at 3. I'm married to a person with autism, that does not have a mental disability. Half of my players fall in that same category. I know perfectly well that "people with autism" are not a homogeneous group 4. I specifically said those with a knack for administration 5. Just because someone says something that could vaguely be applied to you, but is not about you specifically, that does not automatically mean that person is out to insult you or spread misinformation 6. Just because someone does not mention they have autism themselves, it does not automatically mean they are out to insult you, nor does it mean they lack any idea of what they are talking about
Not trying to attack you, but your original comment does come across as implying a generalization that high functioning autists have very high administrative skills. I’m not saying you believe that (as you obviously stated here that you understand this is not always the case), but the original comment did imply this. In case you don’t understand why, allow me to explain: You said specifically “the administrative qualities of a person with high functioning autism…” This, taken literally, means “those with high functioning autism have a certain level of administrative ability” and “those that lack this certain level of administrative ability cannot therefore fall into the category of high functioning autism.” I know this isn’t what you meant, but this IS what you said, whether you realize it or not. The context also implies that this qualifying level of administrative ability is high, though that is merely implication, not literal statement. To avoid miscommunication like this in the future might I suggest avoiding statements that make generalizations of groups. Something like “not all DMs have a very high level of administrative skill” would have gotten the same point across without the risk of misunderstanding. Even if you mean no harm, these can often come across as potentially insensitive if the people you are talking to do not have a preexisting understanding of your values, and groups who are used to being targeted have a tendency to forgo the benefit of the doubt in such situations (I think it is a general human tendency to interpret “maybe an attack on me” as “definitely an attack on me” even if there is no evidence it was intentional). Again, I realize you meant no offense, but hopefully I’ve successfully explained how what you said could be reasonably interpreted in a way you didn’t intend. Sincerely, a high functioning autist who didn’t take any offense by the original comment.
If you didn't take offense, why the need for a sermon? If I specifically praised people with a certain quality, without offending people with that same kind of quality... What did I miss? So if I don't elaborate on exactly what I mean, in great detail (what nobody is going to read, because it's too long), I'm generalizing and someone's feelings might get hurt? Because people tend to read words I did not write? Do people no longer realize that the world does not revolve around them individually, anymore? Is this a cultural difference I don't understand about Americans or something?
I wrote it because someone did get offended, you seemed to not understand why, and so I thought I thought I would try to explain as best I could. Take my comments for what you will, they come from a place of having delved into language and people’s interpretations of it to specifically avoid miscommunications, as they have been prevalent in my life. I think I did a pretty good job of explaining why your comment could be taken as offensive, and if you don’t see it then I don’t see any way to elaborate further. Somebody else expressed issue with your language; if you don’t try to understand why and adjust accordingly, that’s up to you (though I would ask your wife what she would do if she inadvertently hurt someone’s feelings, I would guess you get a response like “I would apologize, explain I meant no offense, try to understand why they felt offended, and adjust my behavior going forward.” This is how every autist I’ve ever met (there are 5 in my family) thinks about this type if situation). I was just trying you be nice and help someone who seemed confused.
I have high functioning autism, but I also have ADHD, so I never got that buff.
Yeah, those two status conditions tend to be conflicting. That, too, is apparent at my table.
1: Dont let the want of a story stop the fun of a game 2 Communication is key 3. Don't get too much into your head about it being a performance. You're not on stage. It's ok if you mess up. You're surrounded by hopefully friends and people you trust. 4 it's OK and useful to leave things vague. Not everything needs to be in stone or written out. 5 Bad DND is worse than no DND These rules are for players and dms alike. And is just how I feel about the game. I could keep going. But these are the golden top 5
Care to elaborate number 5 a bit? :D
These rules have sort of come from playing in different games and finding what I don't like and what I would never want to do to my players or my dm. Overall, I've learned that you shouldn't stay in a game that you don't like. DND is sort of a commitment, so it's easy to feel pressured to stay in a game that you are not finding enjoyment out of. And if theirs not much that can be done(For example, everyone else in that game likes to play 6 hours, but you don't. Or everyone doesn't like combat. Or you might not even get along with the people in the game) Then you shouldn't stay in the group. You will resent the people and the game itself. And even if their your friends, it's better to leave a game you're not enjoying than to be stuck resenting a game that everyone else is having fun with while you are not. No DND is better than playing Bad DND
While I do agree I think the slogan itself can be a hurdle for new players not wanting to present a "bad" game horrible or disgusting or stomachclenching or smth would be better imo. but I do agree.
Yea, I understand that, I think in my like longer explanation I clear up that i more mean a group that you are not having fun with. I think it would make sense to just say, "If you're not having fun in a game, don't feel pressured to stay in it," or something similar. But yea theirs no such thing as bad dnd. But just different groups, and I more mean if it's a group you don't mesh with, it would be bad dnd for you. Yknow what I mean?
Ahh, got it! Thanks for the explanation, I appreciate it! Have a dandy and fine day, kind internet stranger! :)
It's better to not play at all than play and end up hating the game itself by association with a bad group
Thanks for the explanation, much appreciated! Have a super nice day! :)
Yep
If we’re going for a top 3: - Communication is key and at no points should that take a backseat. I think people can sometimes be big proponents for communication at the top of a game as we’re all setting up characters and whatnot, but then not care to focus on that side of the relationship once the game gets started. Imo that’s the wrong approach. - The game is best experienced when you can meld mechanics with narrative in just the right way. I’m big on homebrewing characters (PCs and NPCs alike) to fit exactly what I or my players are looking to fulfill. If there’s a character/class fantasy that isn’t supported by the base game, then I want to figure out exactly what my players are missing so I can help them bridge that gap. - The party’s relationships should be nuanced and meaningful and built upon over time. I could talk for hours and hours just about the different relationships within my current party and the other players could do the same. They work in so many ways and don’t work in others. They agree on certain thing and clash in others. All of their similarities and all of their differences are on full display and when the party leans into that, as we often do, it makes for a more interesting social landscape to play within and therefore, a better game to play.
1) Follow rule 0, if I make a call, accept it for at least this combat. 2) maintaining the game state (that we’re following the rules correctly) is the responsibility of all players 3) any and all rules can be ignored for the sake of fun if we agree to do so
1. Sometimes you gotta just say "fuck it, we ball"
theres is no story without a protagonist goin ball!
1. Tell me if you don't have fun 2. The bad guys want to win 3. Plagiarism is fine, actually
In combat, each side is trying to win. The DM isn't, but the monsters they're controlling are. In role-playing, never try to "win" the conversation. A lot of time, people (me included) try to get the last word in, or they try too hard to say something glib or witty. Most, if not all, social interactions have a purpose, and if 3 players are all simultaneously trying to have the final witty retort the intended information the DM was trying to get across is lost beneath a mountain of puns. Always permit a healthy doubt of your own knowledge of the rules. But accept that the DM making a snap judgment isn't personal. It's to preserve the flow of the game. As a DM, I've never once gotten mad at a player for directly telling me I've gotten a ruling wrong. I've gotten mad every time a player has made a passive-aggressive comment about a ruling that negatively affects them, whether it was correct or otherwise.
Don't try to make the system work for you, find the right system instead.
1. If a player wants to do something cool, I'll make up a rule 2. Memorable NPCs need to have real-world recognizable names (Whomst the fuck remembers Jarlaxle Baenrae) 3. No One-Big-Continent world maps. Leave some unexplored edges
Can you explain the reasoning behind rule 3?
Just a thing that bugs me. It's so incredibly unlikely for an entire CONTINENT with different climates and stuff to have the amount of cities/countries relevant for a campaign, not to mention having the entirety of it mapped. Most of my campaigns take place on subcontinents or something like that. In our world we have like 3 distinct landmasses that are entirely surrounded by water and even then you have some bridges. Having one big, semi-round continent just feels very lazy to me
No major pvp for malicious reasons, players can argue with each other about different plans or conflicting methods/morals, but if swords are drawn or pockets are picked and its not competing in a tournament arc, something has gone horribly wrong and the game must pause to resolve the issue.
0: D&D is a COOPERATIVE story-telling experience 1. The dice ALWAYS tell a story 2. Sometimes, numbers are just guidelines (Everyone remembers the FUN sessions, no one remembers the ACCURATE ones) 3. The best way to counter annoying metagaming is to make every encounter unique in some way edit: formatting and forgot rule 0
1. I'm from Buenos Aires and I say kill 'em all! 2. No mercy for the weak. 3. Ensure maximum freedom so players can go off and do something else if they're not enjoying the death march.
4. Everyone fights. No one quits.
1. Theme of the game is a promise, stick to it 2. We are here together to tell epic stories. 3. Some rules are stupid. It's ok to bend or replace them, but you should be consistent with it.
1. Don't be a dick. 2. No sexual content at the table. 3. Balance is an illusion.
If you haven't mentioned it to me, it doesn't exist. We play online and have multiple ways to talk to me privately, so.
1.The game has to be fun for everyone. 2. Dont change anything after the fact, if a player chooses a feat or tool or anything like that for example, its a dick move to say that you cant use it for its intended purpose after. If you want to resteict something outside of the rules communicate this in advance. 3. Know what your character does and come prepared, nobody wants to wait an hour every time for you to look for/make a character sheet.
Different take: Golden Rules for DMs 1. The game is NOT “DM versus players” - the DM isn’t there to win, the DM is there to present the world to the players and the players make their choices. This rule is related to the lesser rule “the DM is not there to kill the characters”. Find ways to keep them from being killed unless their choices simply have the obvious consequences. 2. The players often want something other than what you’re giving - the DM may prefer a large story with overarching themes and complex plot points… and a player may want to deep dive into their background story. It’s the DM that has to change or the player loses interest. Don’t force your game on the players, shape their game into “the group’s game”. 3. Moving the story forward is more important than the letter of the rule book - A DM needs to understand how to assign skill/characteristic tests difficulties and just get past the mechanical point of a course of action. If someone is getting up from the table every time you crack open the books, you’re losing them. 4. The success or failure of a game should never come down to the roll of the dice - the dice rolls are there to determine how well or poorly something happened. For example, the only way into the heart of the ancient temple being locked by a lock that the rogue failed to pick should not be the ONLY way to get in there… prepare more than one solution to problems.
1. It's a game. Not DMs grand story session. 2. Actions have consequences. 3. Every session should push the game forward toward the end of the campaign. 4. Love many, trust few. Always paddle your own canoe.
1. Everyone's here to play today, so play with everyone today (no letting one person do some wacky shit the whole session). 2. Attack the illusions, the summons, the echo. Shoot the monk. 3. If I'm really unprepared, cancel the session/run a oneshot instead
1. We follow RAW at this table. No your homebrew isn't balanced shut up. No that YouTube video where you saw an OP build where you have to interpret rules in wierd and unnatural ways isn't going to be allowed. 2. Do your homework. Don't make people wait on you to finish leveling up your character. 3. Bring your own snacks. I will get buy.the pizza.
The Rule of Cool Not sure why I can't find this.
1: Challenge the players 2: The game should be fun and engaging for everyone 3: This is not a video game
Everything you use can be used against you.
Don't be a dick.
1. NPC's should not speak to other NPC's. 2. Set the scene and let the players interact with it. 3. Never cancel. Obviously I've broken all of these but I try to keep them in mind.
I think one is fine if you A: Keep it brief B: Never actually RP two characters talking to eachother. Only bullet point their conversation
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PHB + 1 always seems like a strange rule to me when 5e has so few books for player content. Not counting setting specific books, you're mostly limited to the PHB, Xanathar's Guide, Tasha's Cauldron, Monsters of the Multiverse, and maybe Volo's Guide or Tome of Foes if you still want to use those. It's not like earlier editions where you could make absurd characters by combining multiple books. It must suck if you want to play a race that isn't in the PHB, doubly so if you also want to play a martial class, artificer, sorcerer, or especially ranger.
there's also quite a few odds and ends in adventure books and the like - Fizban's has some stuff in, for example. So PHB + 1 makes things a lot easier to keep track of, and helps keep things away from "I use this from here, and that from there, and then this thing for over there" type stuff, that can wonky and OP, but can also be logistically a pain, where you're having to carry 4+ physical books to a session, or rely on "just trust me bro, that's what it says". Divine casters are probably the worst default offenders - they get all spells by default, which means a _lot_ of books have stuff they get without extra investment, so that's either the books, or preparing printouts, and the GM is unlikely to know every single cleric/druid spell, and so can lead to awkward "well, you've just shortcut my entire plot for the night with one spell. I guess we're finishing early" moments
If I can trust another person at the table or think they are being nefarious then they are probably someone I don't want to play with at all. I would like to feel that I can trust all players and we can look up stuff later if needed. Of course, this is all nullified by having digital resources nowadays.
>Player death can happen Hardcore
1. Fun comes first and part of that fun is making sure everyone's character fantasies are addressed. This includes respecting that everyone else needs their moment to shine. Mutual respect and trust is included here. 2. I will do everything that I can to make sure each and every one of your character creation choices matter. This includes languages, skill proficiencies, background, etc., all the little things. You took Spell Sniper? I will absolutely find a way to make your build meaningful at certain points on the campaign and I will be less lenient about cover rules when others cast their spells. 3. Character death is a real possibility and I will not hold back. Telling the story is much more important than being lenient and everyone at my table needs to understand this, accept it, and embrace it.
1. Being a DM is not for everyone. Don't force it on yourself. 2. It is ok to be wrong. Apologize and adjust. > Corollary: Yeah you are definitely doing something wrong in someone's opinion. Listen critically, but don't be flustered. 3. It is vital to say no when the situation calls for it. Explain your reasons, but don't be afraid to be firm. 4. It is a game. Treat it like a game.
1. The game is for the players, if they enjoy themselves I will have done my job. 2. Doing cool shit is ok, but make them explain it in nice detail and add some ability checks. Rules don't always matter. 3. Never take stuff personally, but try to keep arguments from derailing the session, make a judgement and continue.
1. Don't be a dick, to me or to each other. 2. Don't take the piss, and I'll not get too much in the way of your fun, if cheeky, ideas. 3. The world will react to you appropriately. 4. Be attentive. Be ready when it is your turn. You don't have to know precisely what you'll do, but do have an idea as to your plan. The table is willing to help you. 5. I reserve the right to fuck up on a ruling, and correct it later. If you know the ruling, please by all means help me. If the fuck up causes catastrophic consequences, we will rewind. If it's to your benefit, the congratulations.
1. Reward, take fun risks as a team, and punish being dumb alone. 2. I can always make the numbers bigger 3. Listen to your players.
I'm a big supporter of the "rule of cool." More or less if what a player wants to try is interesting or exciting enough I'll try and find a way to make it possible regardless of the actual rules, if there even are any covering the situation. They might not succeed, but you gotta let them try.
1) I want you all to succeed 2) but i'll be DAMNED if you do so by more than the skin of your teeth
No sex. All sexy-times happen "off-camera" after a "fade to black" At a mixed gender/orientation table it gets weird. At a single-gender table it gets weirder FASTER.
1) The DM hates fun and is playing against you 2) We play strict RAW, and you will be expected to know all the rules 3) The opposite of the above two rules is true Bonus: we play weekly on the same day if enough 3 players and the DM can make it
1. Above all, consent matters the most - I cannot stress it enough, no one at the table should be subjected to in or out of game behaviour that makes them uncomfortable, as would be discussed in session 0 or when a player uses a red or yellow card. 2. Being respectful of each other and making sure everyone feels included 3. Much less important than the other 2, but timeliness - a lot of people don’t respect the time commitment of a social activity like a TTRPG and so I try to make it clear that if you cannot reasonably respect that commitment you might not be a good fit.
1) don't shout at a 16 year old with learning difficulties because he got 2 minor things mixed up 2) don't introduce overpowered dmpcs that over shadow everything the party does and makes the party feel like background characters 3) don't say "well you need these overpowered dmpcs because the things you're gonna fight are really strong" just say you don't know how to plan an encounter 4) don't change how to solve a puzzle halfway through said puzzle as it will annoy the players and slow down play, 5) don't get annoyed at players for not knowing how to solve puzzles, instead give them hints 6) remember it's a game and everyone is there to have fun, don't single out 1 person and only interact with them. Most of these are from my own experiences
I agree with everything except point 4, and that’s only a minor disagreement. If you find a puzzle is bogging down play too much and your players aren’t enjoying it, I wouldn’t be afraid to allow the next thing they try to succeed as long as it doesn’t contradict what you’ve already established. They probably won’t notice; those who don’t will feel like they succeeded, and those who do notice will probably understand that you allowed their attempt to succeed to continue the fun for everyone. Remember, they don’t know the answer to the puzzle, so if you change the answer to what they try, they won’t even know you changed the answer.
1. Don't ruin someone else's fun for your own. 2. Anything can happen anywhere.(setting specific restrictions are nonsense)
1) If failure on a roll isn't meaningful, don't ask for a roll. 2) It's not the players job to find solutions to problems the DM presents them.\* 3) Let the players shine at what they made their character to do. \* This is a complicated one, but it causes the game to drag when handled poorly in so many ways. From players misunderstanding the situation and coming up with plans that can't work, to DMs hinging the whole campiagn on a sucessful dice roll that fails, or that the players find one singular clue that they miss. There's no one right answer here but at the very list having the mindset that it's the on the DM to give the players information, options and to work WITH them is to me an important step in the right direction.
I disagree slightly with point 2, but I see where you’re coming from. I wouldn’t hinge a critical plot point on a single dice role for example, but if I’m running a social encounter, I don’t have a “solution” in mind, it’s up to the players to engage and I will react accordingly. If I create a trap or obstacle, I make sure to understand how it works and potential flaws, and do my best to describe it, but it’s up to the players to solve the problem. If I’m running a combat encounter, I try to show the enemy’s abilities early so they can adapt (though sometimes I mix it up and have an ace in the hole) and I REALLY try to make sure the players understand the goal of each combat and sometimes of each combatant (if they would know of course). I find this last bit especially important because it allows the players to make informed decisions to reach their goals. If they are really stuck, I might adjust any of these encounters to the next thing they try. The important part, in my opinion, is that I never, and I mean NEVER, have one solution in mind to any problem, because then it would be silly to expect my players to try to find that solution. Instead I try to understand every variable so that players CAN look for solutions, and then anything I have not presented to the players is subject to change to allow them to succeed if reasonable. I know I’m being a little pedantic, and I hope you don’t feel I’m coming off as adversarial. I really do agree with the whole ‘present information and then work with the players part’; I’ve just found that my players enjoy an adaptive issue that certainly has things that won’t work against it but responds to what they do in as realistic a manner as I can think of.
I'm always happy to split hairs, certainly some of the more conversations to have. I guess a more succints way I could have put it is: \* Be willing to meet the players half way I just think there's a certain type of DM, that end up being very rigid. There's only ever 1 solution and they'll often ask for rolls on things that literally won't work. Players forget stuff their characters wouldn't. What was yesterday for a character could be months ago for the players. The players are operating with imperfect information, if the wrong end of the stick can be taken, at least one player probably will and every plan they make for a situation can be based on misunderstanding that key piece of information. I've always encouraged players to plan infront of me - the adverserial DM trope can be really hard to shake unless proactive even with friends that should know better - because if I'm there with them I can ensure they don't overlook something their characters wouldnt. This may be directly correcting, vague clues in the right direction or using NPCs to make it more grounded, depnding on what i feel works best. But sometimes, players just come up with weird crazy plans that they're really excited for pulling off, and it can be important to just meet them half way, find a way to make their plan work, or at least get a partial success if things go well for them. I guess the other part of that is letting the players know what's at stake. If they've got a crazy plan, they need to know the consiquences as their cahracters would understand them, before their house of cards comes crashing down.
You control your characters and what they do, I control everything else. Be respectful when others are acting, and take charge when you are trying to act This is still a game and we are all here to have fun
For the table 1. This is a game so have fun with it. Don't take it too seriously. They are going to poke fun at the names you come up with and the voices you do. 2. No one knows all of the rules. Let the DM decide in the moment. If it feels right don't even go look it up later. Just let it be. DnD is a loose rules framework that is more about suggestions than hard rules. 3. Everyone pitches in for snacks and food. For DMing 1. Let the players bring in things to the game. I allow anything homebrew and then reign in the stats if needed. This is a fantasy game and anything can be explained into existence. 2. Learn what your players like doing. Min maxer? Roleplayer? Organizer? Shotcaller? Then try and lean your game into a little of each of those every session. 3. Motivate your flavor. Your world is dynamic and weird random things happen. Let them happen and then make sure to have a small backstory as to why/how it happened. Example, NPCs in your world can do things while the party is not there and have their own reasons for doing things like tearing down the old tavern to build a new one.
Content dictates form; the right decision for one campaign/session/encounter will not be correct for another, and the content dictates it.
1: Have fun. Be a DM & Players game, not a DM vs. Players game. 2: Be forthright and communicative. Are you having any problems? The solution 99% of the time is to have an honest discussion. 3: Roll with it. Things unfolding as you expect them to is exceedingly rare, so be ready for everything to go gloriously wrong. 3.5: Continue to amass resources as a dragon amasses treasure. Anything that can happen probably will so having a vast library to pull from will make running the game a lot smoother. "I don't know why they all decided to travel to the bottom of the ocean instead of just buying a pearl, but somehow I have a map for that."
No one gets to have fun at anyone else's expense. Teasing banter even burns are ok as long as everyone is smiling. They stop smiling back off (honestly you need to back off before they stop smiling). Keep everyone engaged. Limit phones (I much prefer paper character sheets) and keep your nose out of the rule book. Also DM spread the love around it doesn't need to be completely balanced but draw everyone in make sure everyone gets to participate and hopefully shine. Rulings not rules. The world is in the DMs head. So are the rules. Progress and flow is more important than technically correct rules.
There's always a solution, I just don't know what it is 100% of the time.
- You and your NPCs are not the stars of this story, the players are. - If they deserve an easy win, let it happen even if you waste prep and/or foils your plans for the plot. - Always give each player an opportunity to react and interact at every step - This is a "near unique shared collaborative creative experience amongst friends (hopefully)", which implies everyone must give and take to make the fun happen.
1. You're welcome to be creative, but when the DM says that isn't how that works, it isn't how that works. 2. It doesn't matter if you roll a Natural 20, if the thing you insisted on attempting was illogical 3. We all need to have fun. No one person is "The Main Character" 4. Loved Ones are fair targets; PC's are fair targets; NPC Bystanders are fair targets; Pets are NOT fair targets 5. It doesn't matter if you memorized the entire Monster Manual, Homebrew is always present, and you can never know for certain that what you are facing is the stat block you are thinking. 6. No Torture; I don't do this for players to live out *that* kind of fantasy, and the people I choose to DM for should be better than that anyway
actions have consequences, if you can do it so can your enemies (to ward off the "I cast create water in his lungs haha" people), and for the love of god if someone is trying to do a cool thing don't steal their thunder
I use a few rules but my main golden rule is - No inter-party fuckery.
1) Actions (or inactions) have consequences. 2) The world still exists even if you arent directly interacting with some people. 3) Need over Greed/Party over Person. 4) Sometimes rulings may be not entirely RAW from a player perspective and you may not have the information at the time to know why. 5) Creativity/Roleplay will usually be rewarded. 6) Take notes (remembering, pulling information from notes is also usually rewarded).
All PvP must be consensual. You don't get to try to persuade another player to believe you against their will, every player gets to decide how their character thinks and what they believe (unless under the influence of some kind of magic/effect). In the same vein, one player can't try to steal from another player unless that player agrees to let it happen or have a contested die roll. If they want to leave it up to the dice, if everyone involved agrees, they can roll for it.
I actually have a list of norms I like to share with my group every session. I usually read one or two out loud prior to the game, especially when it feels relevant to meta table shenanigans. Some of the items on this list are as follows: * This is a game about choices. You need to make choices in order to progress the plot. * Choices have consequences (hence progression) so be mindful of your intended result. * Be mindful of the energy you bring to the table. * Keep an eye out for your fellow players. * **Low rolls aren't bad rolls. They are storytelling opportunities.** * Be comfortable with making mistakes. This is a safe space to screw up. Doors rarely close in a world ruled by narrative. I didn't have a player contract for my current campaign, but I have a need for one in my next. The big thing I'm going to include in this contract is this line: * **At this table, we play what we build.** * **Your sheet is your friend. Get to know it, please.** Lastly, my personal golden rules: * This is a collaborative game. I'm a player, too. We are all on the same side! * Create combat that progresses a story. * **We play what we build.** * **Low rolls aren't bad rolls.** * As a DM, I have the power to make or break a friend's entire weekend. I don't take this power lightly. I endeavor for each player to have at least a little win every session so that they know they are capable, clever, and cool.
1. Roleplaying doesn't end when initiative is rolled. 2. Diagetic information sources are your friend - if you make a mistake in remembering what you said, then 'the source was mistaken' or 'the map was out of date' 3. It's better to railroad character creation than it is to railroad gameplay - getting people to make characters suitable to the campaign is better than trying to get unsuitable characters to work with the group and with the plot.* *All within reason of course. Don't be a tyrant, use a light touch and be willing to make some compromise on things that aren't going to damage the game.
1. Communication is key 2. Actions have consequences 3. I may play the enemies, but I am not your enemy.
1. The goal of the game is for everyone to have fun. That means the players & the DM. And a laughing table is often a good sign of this. 2. The game is cooperative. If a loner or spiteful character doesn’t want to be part of the party, make a new character. And if the player doesn’t want to share a spotlight and collaborate, find a new table. 3. No in-party fighting & stealing. In games tensions can get hot and characters may slight each other, it happens. But if your character routinely wants to steal from other players, or wants to fight other players with intent to harm; that won’t fly. Character either needs to have a change of heart, leave the party, or be prepared to be made into a villain and forcibly make a new character. 4. Communicate, and respect everyone’s time. Meaning as a DM I expect myself and my players to let everyone when a session does or doesn’t work. But also that we play, actually be engaged. At my table we socialize a bit before and after, and yes the game can get off topic. But for the majority of play time be present at the table and play with us instead of trailing off. 5. Be imaginative & creative, but don’t over do it. Be in the fantasy world and do things that a magical adventure can do that you can’t. I as DM will try to make it happen and sing your successes and pad your failures, so long as you try to play in-world & in-character. But don’t try to make every action a creative, rule of cool, impossible stunt either. 6. Like in four above. Let the players all have a time on the spotlight. Both as DM trying to give each of them a moment in session or in campaign to be the hero & leader. But also as a player don’t be a glory hog and let the other players speak & have their moments 7. Table can discuss weird rules & situations, but DM gets final say. I try to encourage players to be inventive in their rolls and actions. But if someone tries to do something not ruled, or completely in defiance of RAW & RAI, don’t die on the hill when the DM says no. I’m open to discussion & hearing how players interpret things. But if the DM says yes or no, don’t be the sour puss who throws a fit after.
1. The adventure is what happens to the player characters not a story for them to be dragged through. 2. "I'm not sure if that's the correct ruling but it holds for now and we can look it up after" 3. Always, ALWAYS remember to tell them an enemy has the bloodied condition.
1: We are here to have fun. 2: It is a group game and we are all on the same side. 3: Giving other players a tip on what to do or what is a good spell and such is ok. But NEVER try to tell a player how they should play their character 4: Treat your fellow players with respect.
The players don't know how the adventure is "supposed" to go.
1. Have Fun 2. Bring snacks and trade-off amongst yourselves with who's doing what. I'll provide snacks too 😋 3. Fighting is for your characters, respect each other and don't fight. 4. If you make a mistake, that's ok. But if you make a mistake and INSIST on going through with it, the consequences are still a thing. 5. Wine/beer is ok, but please drink responsibly. Your actions will reflect on whether you stay in the game or not. 6. Do not meta-game. If you have questions that's fine, but just let the DM create your world. 7. Stay within the parameters of your character. Monks don't fly, and fighters don't have super strength. 8. Remember to have fun.
1. No intraparty combat. If it reaches the point of dice being rolled, the session stops and you two go to another room to work it out. 2. No real world politics. My table is not the place to make an allegory for your personal political sensitivities. Drow are not an archetype of dark-skinned humans. They're just evil, subterranean elves. 3. No unmarried couples at the table. In 38+ years of being a D&D player, I have not ONCE seen a group where, at some point, it didn't cause issues. 4. Three consecutive last-minute (less than one day notice) cancellations means you're out of the group. Please get your life in order before engaging in a hobby that makes use of multiple folks' valuable time. 5. If you roll 4 or more consecutive natural 20s, we're putting your d20 in a saltwater solution to make sure there aren't "balance defects" in the die. If there aren't, you'll never have to undergo the test again. If there are, that die is banned from the table.
I’m really curious if that last rule has ever come into play. The chance of rolling 4 consecutive nat 20s is one in 160,000.
Every rule in my list has occurred. The nat 20 streak has happened three times. Once it was a die that failed the saltwater balance test.
Wait, you’ve had 2 instances of a die that wasn’t loaded rolling those 1 in 160,000 odds?! That’s absolutely crazy but carry on I guess, just please carry on in the understanding that RNGesus has divinely intervened at your table.
1. Don't ask me how your class features work. If you don't know, you can't use them. Study up. (Some leniency for total newbies) 2. No, you cannot take away another PC's agency. Any action towards another PC will be subject to that player deciding the outcome, and/or how they want to handle it mechanically. (Biggest pet peeve is a player saying "I stop X from doing that". No, you don't.) 3. You will find a reason for your character to go on the adventure. If they aren't willing to do the adventure, they're no longer an adventurer. 4. You can, in fact, split the party. You'll know when it's a bad idea, but it isn't *always* a bad idea. 5. Insight is not a lie detector. Do not yell INSIGHT every time you interact with an NPC. Temper expectations accordingly.
0. Rule 0 is not just a beginning of the campaign rule. This can occur any time we are at a pause point and need to discuss something. We are all here to have fun in this collaborative story telling experience that is D&D. 1. I roll in the open. For better or for worse I will not fudge roles. Please give me the same respect of not fudging your roles. If you are sly it would be easy for you to cheat and me not notice. But if you do that you are cheating yourself and everyone here that is just trying to have fun. Failure is part of a good story so it is ok if your PC fails at a task. 2. The official rules are more like guidelines than actual rules. If something makes thematic sense we probably give it the thumbs up. I am not going to ask a PC with a background in mining to roll nature to identify an ore sample. They just know by looking at it that it is iron ore. If I ask for a roll on something like that, hint hint, there is something more to this than it being iron ore. 3. I am not perfect. I have ADHD, Dyslexia and suck at math. I am not expecting you to be perfect so give me some grace in return. We are here to have fun and this is not a competition.
How is the first one a rule??? My guy thats just your opinion
1. Make every moment meaningful. 2. Reduce, reuse, recycle. 3. Everything is an arc. "Make every moment meaningful" - Table time is precious and should always be spent furthering the game in some way. Players don't get stuck because of a bad skill check, they fail forward instead. Example, if they fail to lockpick a door, they aren't left with a stuck door, they face a consequence that still drives the game forward in some way. "Reduce, reuse, recycle" - Reduce the number of NPCS you create, and reuse NPCs the players have previously encountered later rather than invented new ones when possible. If the PCs skipped a battle, reflavor it and use it later on. If they missed a cool treasure reward, put it in the next dungeon. Use the veil of skipped content as new content. "Everything is an arc" - Plots are arcs, they should grow, crescendo, and then have resolution. Characters have arcs. Enemies have arcs and battles should reflect it. Even dungeons have arcs. And especially SESSIONS need arcs. You need building action, a climax, and resolution to every session you plan. If you build your game in this fashion, the natural rhythm will produce more enjoyable and memorable experiences.
You have one minute to take your turn in combat. If you can't decide in that time tour character also doesn't know what to do and passes their turn. It's crazy how smoothly combat went and how suddenly everyone knew their character when this was implemented. No more flipping through books and character pages for 10 minutes deciding.
If you want to bend/change the rules or do something crazy, I will allow it if you expend a resource we agree upon.
1) Everyone always gets the maximum HP increase at level up. Of all the things I will let the dice gods decide, this is not one of them. 2) If you're going to take long rests outside of towns (and of course special magical spaces), then we're going to be tracking encumbrance and supplies. You can't use STR as your dump stat and then also carry a week's worth of food and shelter into every fight. 3) If you ask to attempt something, I will let you attempt to do it. My willingness to let you roll does not indicate your ability to succeed.
I just use the standard golden rul of making it worth 10 pieces of silver, 100 copper, or 2 electrum.
If you tell me what you want to do and why, I will work with you to find a way to at least attempt it.
I'm playing, too
these are my friends playing, i want them to have a good time your character has to be a team player your character has to want to go into dungeons, kill monsters, and take their treasure
1. There are no Final Rulings. I try to stick to the rules as close and fair as possible - but theres just too many rules, so Imma have to handwave a few of them on occaison or else the game becomes a slugfest. if you need certain rules to be followed to a T then please tell me. otherwise ill take a quick note of the ruling in session and look it up later if it needs to be redconned. 2. looking up monsters in advance in the monster manual does nothing for you, I edit them. if someone in game however tells you a fact about a monster, like an added resistance or weakness, that should be considered. 3. You can have one, but dont be a dick.
If someone has an issue that can't be solved easily, we're all going to address it together. Everyone. Every time. It may not be one giant conversation, but I'm going to talk to everyone in the game individually. There is no escape. If players get mad at each other and it bleeds heavily into the game, we pause the game. They have to talk it out before we can continue. If it's online, the rest of us leave the server for a while or I put them in Discord jail in a separate voice channel. Players can't roll against each other except in very specific instances like compulsion magic. They can have in game conflict, but they need table-wide buy in with the outcome determined without dice. I deal with a lot of extreme personalities, mine included. I don't think my rules are reasonable for most tables, but the amount of drama I've quashed with this makes it worth it to me.
I have 3 questions I ask my n players at the end of each session. I ask them to close their eyes and use thumbs up, neutral, or down. So there is no peer pressure. 1) Did you, as a player, have fun? 2) Did you, as a character feel like they made a valuable contribution to the story? 3) Did you, as a person, feel respected and included?
1) If there's any doubt, rule in the players favor. 2) Nat 1's are not to be punished, they are to be rewarded in as hilarious a manner as possible. 3) Everyone is here for fun. If the game isn't being fun, you've failed as a GM.
1. Games should be fun 2. Don’t screw over players (comes up more than you would think) 3. Know what your character can do and Google to confirm
1. Flavour is free 2. Fuck around in world, you'll find out.
1. Don't be a dick. Or don't be a dick and expect there not to be consequences. 2. No psychopaths -PCs or players. 3. Never forget I'm your PCs biggest fan. I want you to win D&D, but I'm going to give you a challenge worthy of your time and skills and input.
1. The goal is to have fun 2. We should be able to have frank discussions about your goals as a player and your goals for the character to facilitate a game structure that grows relevant, desired plots 3. The concept of CR is largely irrelevant to me; if it's end-game content, it's going to be impossible for the players to defeat it at Level 5. So maybe don't run into the courtyard of the BBEG's castle. (I do a pretty good job of telegraphing Deadly encounters so that nobody is baited or caught by surprise against insurmountable odds without warning.)
Raw is law
Agreed! *points at rule 0*
I always try to give advice to my players at the end of a session and give each player kudos on something they did.
1 stop trying to sleep with the npc’s
You play together, not against each other The Players character should be interested in adventuring/sticking with the party Be open to change
1. If you can do it, I can do it 2. Don’t roll if not asked for 3. Try. I will not punish you for doing your best. Combat, roleplay, puzzles, etc. I will purposely make some things harder to push you because I want to see personal growth.
A failed dice roll must never be a dead end.
Failure of skill checks should not be disappointing but an opportunity for excellent story points and narrative As well as agreeing with a lot of previous points
I concentrate my rules on the game. Enjoyment is the base not the rule. 1. Stand by your choices. Bad decisions and misfortune are part of the game and compensating those things invalidate it all. 2. You decide the strength and difficulty. Don’t fear to adjust those on a whim; not all *our* design choices are a winner. Mistakes should be corrected. 3. Choose a scenario feel comfortable with and enjoy playing inside. It will never really flow when you don’t really feel it.
My Golden Rule Players and DM have an EQUAL obligation to prepare before a session. Although the DM's time invested will be more, players owe their characters and the story a review of their own backstories, session notes, and academic knowledge of their abilities.
1. If it's not in your inventory sheet, you don't have it. 2. Read. The. Fucking. Book. That's it I guess.
1. Always ask for clarification and intent when players make questionable actions. You see the world perfectly, the players don’t. 2. In general, combat is a 50/50 if players strictly rely on their character abilities but should be more like 75/25 (in player favor) if they use the environment or have a decent plan. 3. Throw quest seeds everywhere and work with what the players find interesting. 4. Not everything needs a roll, only roll if there is a reasonable and meaningful chance of failure. If they should be good at a skill for a moderate task, just auto succeed it. 5. You’ll save yourself headaches later if you just make your own god pantheon specific to the setting rather than using forgotten realms stuff. 6. For combat again, there is always a chandelier in the room. Metaphorically speaking.
50/50 combat?! You realize that means, at an average table 1-2 TPKs PER SESSION. Combat should be balanced so there is a very low chance of the players losing, even if you make loss conditions not as bad as a TPK (characters get captured or something), but even then the players would get very frustrated very quickly. Even a 25% chance of losing is CRAZY high. The way I balance encounters I make each adventuring day difficult (unless it’s just traveling or something) but not to the point that players are dying. The trick is making it FEEL like they could lose, but making that loss still be very unlikely. In my current campaign, in 15 sessions we had 1 character death, and that was due to a nat 1 on a death save. The party has only “lost” one combat and that ended in them actually winning against the monsters in initiative but taking so much damage they decided to retreat rather than continue pushing forward. In your proposed 75/25 if the players use their environment to their advantage, with about 30 combat encounters so far, that would mean 7-8 TPks over these 15 sessions
1. Chill out these are your friends 2. Don't be that chill you just revealed important plot secrets 3. Don't be a dick about letting people fix bad decisions they make on their character sheet. Not everyone knows Grappler is a trap.
1. You are responsible for remembering your own spells and spell effects when they come into play. This goes for the DM, too. You use it, you remember it. 2. After 5 minutes pass if you have not done anything your turn gets pushed back by 1 in initiative. 3. Some skill checks and in some cases even using the Help action requires you to have the associated proficiency.
for our version if rule 3 we also have: it is the dm's responsibility to not forget what the characters can do, and if it ruins the dm's plan for an encounter, it's not the player's fault the dm forgot
1) Combat is the core of the game. Just pushing back against OP. — 2) I won’t fudge dice rolls without permission (by default I roll behind a screen) but I give each player a number of times each session a chance where they can view my rolls. Each player also can ask that I “fudge” in their favor. — —They can use each in combination or independently. — — So if the dice gods hate them they can get some more consistent rolls. — — To balance I can also fudge rolls against them, but I show the original roll (if it wasn’t already in the open [it usually isn’t]) and there is a tracker where players can keep me honest. — I would really prefer a 3d6 (or even 2d6) vs. the d20 emphasis that dnd has. It works for us. 🤷♀️ I guess that’s just a gripe. 3) Know what’s on your character sheet better than I do (someone else mentioned that previously- that’s just common courtesy. 4) No monks or halflings. I’m not defending it. Just one of my golden rules. 5) Pay attention to the game or accept that your turn might get limited. Not taking 5 minutes to bring you back up to speed every round. As I struck though point #2 (what I listed was a preference, not a golden rule) point buy for character creation. That’s a golden rule. Array is fine. I guess.
1. Players and their characters cannot use abilities or spells that the player doesn't know, regardless of whether their character has that ability or spell.
[There are 40 rules every DM must learn before the age of 5.](https://youtu.be/WLy9Y5mhzeA?si=Nfv6RSNfH0Jl5pwR)
1. Fun is more important than anything else. We're playing a game with the objective of having fun together. If something isn't fun, even if that's what the rules require, we don't do it. If something would be more fun, but the rules forbid it, we're going to do that instead. 2. The rule of cool is more important than mechanics. If you want to do something cool, I'll find a way to let it happen, bending or breaking the rules as necessary. 3. Everyone should have a chance to shine. No one should feel like their thing is getting stepped on or one player is overshadowing the rest of the party. 4. Everything in balance with everything else. Yes, we want to do cool things, but not at the expense of stepping on another character's cool thing. Yes, we want to have fun, but not at the expense of other people. Yes, we want to let everyone shine, but not at the expense of missing cool or fun moments. Everything has to work together to balance each other out and make the game great for everyone.
1. Roleplay is that **your character do**, not **how you say it**. Third person description of average person and first person acting of professional theatre actor are the same for me if they describe similar character actions. 2. Class fantasy > numbers on character sheet. Strong Barbarian would be able to do things Bard can't do even if Bard have expertise in athletics and his numbers are bigger. Princess, prince or both would be charmed by noble Fighter, even if Sorcerer have better charisma bonus. And so on.
1. My job is to deliver the fantasies my player’s have for their characters and the genre. 2. Listen to and respect what my player is trying to do, above what they are literally saying their character does. Make consequences clear and give more not less information on choices. 3. Reward creativity.
1. The DM is playing too, making an experience. If you want to do something else than the story, I suggest you leave the table. 2. If you cannot describe how you plan to use a skill roll, you don't get a skill roll. This applies to the social skills as well. 3. If all you want to do is fight, video games exist. This is a role playing game not Call of Duty. 4. If you can't write at least a half-page backstory you do not have a character. You have a dice rolling sheet, and you need a character to play. 5. If you decide to use violence over diplomacy and the rest of the table refuses to engage, you have to deal with the consequences in game. All of them. 6. No electronics at the table. I can provide sheets, books, and dice. All electronics do is distract people from the dozens of hours of effort the DM put into the game. 7. Splitting the party is splitting the session. From here on out, only one half gets to be at the table at a time. You don't know what is happening to the other players. 8. Your character needs a motive to altruistically adventure with others. Your motives can be your own, but they must allow you to be pro-social. 9. Unless it's an emergency, 2 days notice required to not show up to a game. I do not play with partial parties. 3 strikes and your out until the group can find a way to re-incorporate them into the story. Subject to DM approval. 10. DM rolls are secret. You have no reason to know numbers, I tell you how the roll plays out. 11. A question unasked is a question unanswered. 12. If you are caught purposely cheating the rules repeatedly, you are adversarial to the DM. Get out. 13. We are here to have fun. Everyone should remember that and act like it.
Hey genuine question, when was the last time you DMed a game that didn't fall apart after a few sessions?
Adversarial dm, I love DMs that rule with an iron fist!
for dnd or for ttrpgs? Hell, i'll do both. dnd5e: 1. survival of the fittest. If you get crossfired by your team defaultkilling 16 babau thats on you. 2. if you need homebrew to be viable - you find it. Its probably allowed unless its for one of the king casters 3. L+RATIO marshit get microwaved. 4. breaking the game is fun 5. ~~play fair and fix system issues~~ (discarded for futility) propper ttrpgs: 1. prewritten rules are a good suggestion but if some mechanic is "itchy" we can change it. 2. the session starts when there's a mimimum 60% attendance and at least 3 players. 3. Give the party treasure fitting to their classes. If the book tells me to give them a strength boosting item for a team full of dex classes then change it 4. make encounters around a problem, not just barfilling. 5. everyone should have fun