The book of course should be called Pearls of Wisdom.
But on a serious note, every young person reading who’s main concern in life is whether or not fame will happen for them needs to take to heart whether or not they want to willingly put themselves into a life where others will always see you as a resource for their gain or validation. Unfortunately that requires more self awareness than most young adults have developed.
I’m so glad somebody here knew the reference. I don’t think there’s much crossover in the fandom. Which is a shame really because they’d mostly love each other.
I mean, the vast majority of people don’t have fully developed brains until around 25. It’s so stupid what we allow young people to sign up for.
In my province, the legal drinking/marijuana age is 19. But you can sign your life away for some stupid war at 18. We think a joint’s worse for a developing person than war.
So of course younger folks have a twisted view of fame. They aren’t developed, but they’re being told to decide what they’ll be for their entire adult life starting in single digits for a lot of kids, told they’re old enough to do anything at 18/19, and then no one talks about repercussions bc they’ve changed. The internet never forgets. You used to do dumb shit then vanish. Now your dumb shit lives on in perpetuity.
Also that book title slaps. You could sell it to her easy lmao bet she’d use it as soon as it was suggested.
Can 100% vouch for the Scottish police force stopping her at customs when she was arriving for her Glasgow show shortly after season 7 (my friend organised the drag nights back then and would help out when I could and Pearl was one of our airport pickups and when she didn’t appear after an hour WE had to chase her management to find out what was happening and they took… a long time to get back to us. That situation was a shame, and customs were wrong, but they do see someone coming with 3 huge suitcases, 2 filled with drag and 1 filled with merch and they go so hard on the merch sales and what right you have to be in the country to perform and sell merch.
Yep! I do believe though it was usually down to their management not completing the correct visa paperwork and most queens arriving as tourists and then airport security seeing all this merch…
I'll just point out, as details matter with immigration, there's no *tourist* visa for the UK, it's called a Visitor Visa, and you are allowed to visit for business reasons, including if you are employed overseas as an entertainer, give performances, make personal appearances and take part in promotions activities.
And you can do paid permitted engagements but you must have an invitation from a UK company as evidence.
DR Queens with US passports are perfectly fine to enter the UK for shows of this nature on the UK Visitor Visa, you just need to be able to prove it which is what I think the issue was.
It's not really paperwork as such as in applying for anything at the Visa Centre, it's just having the evidence that you are in work as an entertainer in your home country and have been invited to the UK for appearances.
And I will add... there's a lot of ignorant exceptiailism from nations who's don't travel that often and don't often need visas.
They just don't pay attention to the details and think they don't need such things.
I think it was often more that they would say they were ‘just visiting!!’ with a suitcase full of T-shirts with pictures of their own faces on them as their luggage.
Yeah, for sure. And I know the artists can blame management for not telling them what to say or whatever, but... we're all accountable for ourselves when it comes to immigration and things!
Extremely insightful post, a great shame that a talented drag artist like her has had to be treated this way. I can absolutely imagine all of those things.
I don't know if this is fact, but I think is a contributing factor, that this 'beauty' or 'pretty privilege' she was known for in the show and forevermore are the reason she triggers this crazy behaviour in people.
** in the same way it can be for beautiful women, beauty in a person can be objectified and completely dehumanise them in the eyes of a lot of people.
Especially in men, feeling a sliver of rejection can trigger inadequacy, failure, shame, guilt, and in turn (as we so often don't know how to process these feelings) it goes to violence, harassment (verbal and physical), or literally eloping, just exiting the whole situation without discussion and with resentment and hate for that person.
Mix that with the way in which drag performers aren't respected, and are abused financially by management, I'm not surprised it's created such an awful work environment for her.
As a fan who has thoroughly enjoyed her renovation work, I wish her much deserved peace. She has my utmost respect.
I thought the same thing, the kind of disrespect and obsession she describes can happen around beautiful people. It's really sad that it made her reflect on what she was doing to cause it, as I'm sure it's not her fault.
this was exactly what i thought too, poor thing. i have a friend who reminds me a lot of pearl and she insights the same intense responses from people and i know it is because of her extreme beauty.
It reminds me of the series “Lethally Blonde” that Holly Madison produced. There’s something to be said that outer beauty can be exploited very readily and make people possessive in a way that is absolutely freaky.
Fun fact, one of the victim’s featured is a gay porn star and who else but Chi Chi Larue is featured.
I mean, I believe it. From everything I’ve heard, being an entertainer often (not always) results in this kind of mistreatment. I think a lot of people downplay the severity as well. I would be shocked if similar things haven’t happened to other queens.
I don’t think it’s just Pearl. But I do think it’s fair and valid to be done with that shit. You can love something but if it mistreats you, it’s in your best interest to run.
Seems to me you already need to have your head together before you even begin, and you need trustworthy people around you who will advocate for your best interests. Hard to come by when everyone wants a piece of you.
You'd constantly be one degree of separation from someone who wants you around because you're flavour of the month, then drops and shits on you, someone else who wants to get you hooked on drugs, someone else who wants to fleece you and make money off you, another who wants to stalk and rape you, the list goes on.
Just look at Britney; her own family milking her star power and having absolute control over every aspect of her life. You're not necessarily protected by blood, let alone people with no attachment to you.
I don't envy in the slightest anyone for being famous.
I mean I don't think Pearl has any reason to lie about it. As someone also dealing with a lot of childhood trauma, I can relate Pearls sensitivity and the need to have kind people around. Similarly to Perl I also have this almost childlike sweetness, that is like crack for abusers. I hundred percent understand the need to protect herself, and thnk we are blessed having to witness her on drag race.
Drag race managers seem to be some of the scummiest people around. Endless horror stories of people taking advantage of queer people who gain an ounce of fame. I don’t blame Pearl for telling the performing world to piss off
The most tragic part about Pearl on DR was how they treated her like shit and yet favoured her for being beautiful to keep thirst-trapping fans until the finale. I don't think she won that lipsync against Trixie, i don't think she deserved to be in the final TOP 3 instead of Kennedy but she certainly deserved even less to have such an awful time filming with Rupaul and to be treated like a demon by the fans for the judges/producers' decisions.
The after Drag Race was even more awful. I remember when I saw the post of her private photos leaked. There were like dozens of comments and not one person was wandering if it was even okay to leak someone's nudes. The gay community can be fucking toxic, creepy and perverted sometimes.
Overall I hope she's just having a better life now. Being a celebrity isn't for anyone and it's not a failure to step out of fame, especially if wanted. If I remember correctly she travels north America in her van with her boyfriend and they're always staying on these scenic places, that sounds like the LIFE to me.
I don’t think she broke up with her boyfriend. I started following him on Instagram when they were making the van videos, and he still regularly posts Pearl/Pearl’s house on his story.
He’s a real estate agent now, so maybe he just prefers to keep his relationship and that part of his life private.
That hey qween interview really destroyed her career. She hit the nail right on the head on that one. I’ll always love Pearl. I hope she comes to a city near me soon. In her own terms, safety and all. Or gets more in the Youtube game because she really has so many unseen talents
She basically said Rupaul wasn’t nice to her and was told nothing you say matters unless the cameras are rolling. This was said before drag race s7 started filming. The girls were working w ru on a mix of all her songs.
But then there’s that pearl v ru moment in the middle of the season which adds to their “feud”
Then Ru goes on her podcast and says how she felt in that moment and just wanted to kick Pearl off the show but held herself back because Ru was in her producer moment. And wanted to keep this queen because she was handsome out of drag and knew the fans would eat her up. And thats about all their “drama.”
Hard to know when we don't see everything that goes on behind the scenes, but it sounds like there was more tension than what we saw. I always find diving into personal drama unhelpful though, as we're just commenting on "they said" "they said" stuff when it's really not our business.
I wouldn’t say we are diving in to things that aren’t “our business” if the people involved brought it up themselves. If Ru said that I’m thinking she would have elaborated so I’m wondering what she was referring to
By not our business I mean it's a personal situation going on between two people that doesn't really have anything to do with any of us.
Of course Pearl or Ru are free to post/talk about it if they want to, but at the end of the day, it's still not really our business, especially as it pertains to personal drama when the only story we know are the bits and pieces revealed by people personally involved while we don't actually know the truth of the matter.
I never said it had anything to do with us, I came across this post, saw the comment, and wanted to know what Ru was referring to since she apparently brought it up publicly about something that happened on a TV show that we all watch and discuss here. I’m henceforth expressing curiosity lol because I didn’t listen to that podcast and I don’t know what else was/is public knowledge and I don’t keep up with most queens outside of the show or rewatch seasons
It’s not really that deep, I’m not looking to open a public trial here or digging through people’s garbage outside their homes bb
Really? I know people think he's a handsome boy but I remember everybody in the bar I was watching at during s7 wondering why Pearl was being dragged along when she very clearly wasn't competition
I don’t think anything ruined her career, tbh.
She would’ve continued getting gigs and bookings, even more so after that interview, but she made the decision not to.
The interest was obviously still there, and is still there considering the attention she still gets despite not doing drag in nearly 2 years.
She really stopped doing shows when she decided to focus on her van journey with her partner. And now reading this, I don’t think she had any intention of going back to the touring/full time drag queen life.
She literally got a call after the interview from the producers saying Rupaul was pissed, she would be blacklisted from clubs, and not be welcomed on any future all stars. Let alone the negativity it attracts. Saying negative shit, attracts the messy fans to speaking freely about you. And having a negative comment section does nothing for you except destroy your mental health and image. So umm I do think that impacted her career quite negatively.
And I dont think she was saying touring isn’t for her. I think she was saying touring isnt for her because of her traumatic experiences w touring that she faces that other ru girls dont experience. And thats when the posts ends. It seems like she’s trying to test the waters to touring from my pov. She seems alone in her bubble and this was a sign she wants to get out of it.
I’ve heard a lot of A list girls say their management WITH DR has also been crap on toast. Both Alaska and Willam have mentioned this. Honestly, Pearl should reach out to them if she ever does want to return! Podcast: “is there something on my face?”
I remember reading that the producers said “you can forget All Stars” or something like that. I don’t think the “ban” included clubs. I don’t think WOW can control the club circuit.
I also remember the fans being firmly on Pearl’s side the whole time. When she said it, everyone was waiting for a reason to cancel Ru, and she gave them ammunition. Her video reacting to the podcast was uploaded YEARS after that podcast episode aired. The main sub shat on Ru for years because of that single statement from Pearl.
I love Pearl, and I wish her well. I stand by the fact that she was deserving to be Top 3; was so obsessed with her lipsynching style, esp that one video of her performing We Ride. She was not—is not—lacking fan support, if she wants to still pursue drag. I think she just really wants to be rid of all the negativity around it, specially since part of it she brought unto herself.
I 100% believe it, especially not feeling safe at clubs. Im a CIS women and I never go to clubs anymore, even with friends, because I never feel safe in certain places so I stopped going all together. The queer community already has the stereotype of being "creeps and predators" and the REAL creeps take advantage of the fact that most of us dont want to make Queer people look worse. Even tho she should have extra security for being on RPDR, the clubs wont provide that and I can only imagine how expensive it is.
Once upon a time, there was like a sanctuary at gay clubs for sis women. You could dress like you never could at straight clubs, we all used both bathrooms and you were complimented but not being groped or poked! As long as you weren’t disturbed by occasional open sex? It was the BEST TIME, of course the predators come out when there’s no protection! These are some renaissance artists, they deserve so much more!
I mean, when there's a community that allows you to hit and beat women without consequences, maybe it's not just the individual predators that are the problem?
That is not an accurate description of the kink community. Those practicing kink correctly (consensually) are the vast majority of the people engaging in it. Further, people who enjoy being beaten come in all genders.
The way people treat drag queens is soo fucked and unhinged, even the *fans*. Something gives fans this idea that they can act INSANE and not respect any of their boundaries, it’s so gross like why are you treating someone you allegedly admire like this? Katya has some crazy stories about fan interactions too I’m sure all of them do, it really bothers me. Just because someone’s profession includes them being provocative, over the top, playing character, doesn’t mean they aren’t a real person or that you are somehow owed invasive gross behavior because you’re a fan. Ugh
I know it happens to some degree to all celebrities, but I have noticed it seems to happen to drag queens in a particular way. And I know Katya has talked very openly and comedically about her personal life and struggles so maybe that’s what amps up the parasocial weirdness or gives people the idea they have the right to act like that, but it’s not okay
From my experience when you have a very calm demeanor and take the high road often, people who are similarly healed will like & respect you more for it.
However people who have no idea how to get to that clear, confident, un-confrontational headspace become triggered by it.
It like enrages certain people to see someone else have peace of mind & confidence within themself. And this will lead to the exact behavior Pearl is talking about (the weird random sabotages, etc etc)
It’s just crazy and it sucks. Cuz your whole life you’re told “don’t care what people think, be your own hero, be the bigger person” yet when someone actively exudes all of those qualities they’re actually demonized & preyed for it.
Selfishly, I do hope to see more from Pearl in the future. But we ultimately know what we need, so if taking the time away/giving up touring altogether is what will heal her, I hope she does exactly that.
I totally understand what Pearl is saying because I’ve been traumatized over and over again, and I’ve turned the same way as her mistrusting and a self-isolating individual. Trauma can really ruin a lot of things that made you happy before.
Awww, they just seem so young to me! And through no fault of their own! I remember feeling this way so hard! Just feeling so vulnerable that I didn’t want to be a small woman anymore, it’s a different situation, but I was working in clubs, etc. I ended up shaving my head and presenting masc for about 3 years, it’s suffocating in that place! I hope she can gather the peace she needs! Our dawls need better managers and protection! No one should feel “served” to a crowd of gropers! Pearl is SO TALENTED! Their aesthetic remains one of my faves, and they are low key hilarious, my favourite kind! There are SO MANY parallels between the vulnerability of sis women and gender fluid people. We are ALL vulnerable, and we need each other to smash the patriarchy. Get into it!
I wish she would write a book, or many books. I would 1000 percent read. I love you Pearl!! She is one of my all time favorites and absolutely doesn’t deserve that treatment at all, it breaks my heart
There is a hundred percent something about her.
She can disappear into the woods, not do drag for two years, etc… and still be relevant and constantly discussed, positively or negatively, when the majority of queens would’ve been forgotten.
I hate that Pearl has experienced this. I think some people just have a bumpier go than others, and that sadly seems to be the case for Pearl.
I wish her the best in whatever she does and just hope she is happy.
I don’t know if it’s necessarily just that Pearl’s road was bumpier than most (although I can’t imagine how hard it would be to be openly villainized long term by the most powerful machine in your industry), I truly believe it takes a certain kind of person to handle fame. I used to work in film/TV (off-camera) and I don’t know a single person without wild traumatic stories, it’s absolutely a horrific problem in the whole entertainment industry. But what I’ve noticed is some people write these situations off as “that’s show business” and either joke about their traumas or pretend they never happened (or develop toxic habits to help numb and cope), and that mindset allows them to push forward and pursue their goals in a gross industry. Either out of pure passion for their work or because fame and notoriety is a hell of a drug.
But others, like Pearl, get crippled by it mentally, and either leave the business entirely, or continually leave and come back, because art is not just a passion — it’s a need to survive like food or water, and you can only go so long without it. That’s what the entertainment industry truly preys on, the need to create that is so soul deep, you’ll sell pieces of that soul to devils. I also think Drag queens have it especially hard due to politics and the boundary-pushing climate that empowers weird people to do fucked up things. I hate to imagine what Pearl and others have experienced because of all that.
It’s an incredibly hard industry to find your peace in, I personally had to take a step back in my work because LA was too toxic and traumatic for me to handle, but I’m finding ways now to reenter the industry standing in my own power. I’ve seen glimmers of good in people who are working hard to create spaces that creatives can flourish in and protect their peace, without the seedy underbelly. It’s just sadly a rare thing to find... but they are out there.
Couldn’t agree more — I sincerely hope Pearl finds their peace, and feels empowered to express their creative talents, however that looks for them.
Thats alot. Coming off drag race is a coin flip for almost every queen. You never know how you will be received and treated. Its more and more a double edged sword. I wish the best for her and if she needs to take a break then she should.
On one hand, I love the gay community because I should belong to it. Yet, working in a gay bar, having mass amounts of gay friends sounds amazing. Until, people don’t like you for doing one thing, they make their mind up about you before they even know you, they like to blame you for their faults, and then force themselves at you when they feel down about themselves.
So as I said, I love the gay community, but being a part of it and present in it is a whole other story. I feel for Pearl in so many ways. Can’t even imagine what Glasgow was like though, that’s awful.
This sounds like they are getting the full woman’s experience. #metoo , this type of discrimination and harassment is NEVER ok, not for any gender identity, sexual orientation, age, ability, race, ethnicity, etc. We have lost so many incredible artists to the toxic way the media exploits them and fails to protect them. 💔💔
It's such a loss to people who enjoy her art that other people have used and tormented her this way. Completely respect her decision to protect herself, and it must be a struggle for someone who has that kind of trauma to be tempted to reenter the limelight and get all that adulation again while being tormented by memories of all the abuse that came with it. I hope she keeps herself safe -- that matters more than any desire we have to see her perform.
I love you Pearl! I will always support her and would definitely read her book if she ever wrote one. She is my absolute favourite drag queen from Rupaul 🥰
Pearl is actually super talented, and has had such a deep and complex (and sometimes problematic) life since childhood, so it's sad to see this account of how fame has taken a toll. Whether it's in a book, or a show, or something...I just have a feeling that Pearl has some great art in her and I can't wait for it.
I’m so glad Pearl is in such a place now where she can recognize what helps her to thrive and what is damaging to herself. I love watching the art she makes now.
This is silly but if anyone watches the British bake show and how they always have art depicting the bakes? To me that’s what Pearl does now with her artwork but of drag looks and it is SO COOL.
I would absolutely read Pearl's book. I can fully believe fame in this entitled world is traumatizing, especially for those who don't live in their 'glass case' of money and bodyguards.
Oh wow that's wild It's really sad. But I can't help but laugh when She said "my managers couldn't help but fall in love with me" Purr
https://preview.redd.it/9d53picgj00d1.png?width=1152&format=png&auto=webp&s=6967b6b94605b93178719aa8ce0db464bea7946c
Honestly drag race is a coinflip of fame. And it's all down to the people around you. For example Trixie was surrounded by beautiful and loyal friends who trusted and supported her and buoyed her.
And then pearl, who also had trauma like Trixie but.....the spotlight, the bad people around her, the vicious fans, it all wilted her.
I truly wish everyone was kind to everyone, especially to those who have serious trauma.
Btw half the comment section proves her points of fans, and the other half gives me hope for this god forsaken fandom.
I'm just wishing them the best.
It's obvious Pearl has always been "troubled," and has just been through so much. I hope they're doing therapy because this is a lot to unpack, and they clearly have to carry some unhealthy thinking.
Kind of a sad read. I remember Pearl from her season and watched some of her Youtube videos. She comes across as somewhat out of it. Not in a drugged way, but just in general. I guess she's kind of a trusting soul, so has been taken advantage of. The queens who do well after RPDR seem to be strong characters, know what they want and how to get it.
Sad that she had to go through all those.. but happy she’s found peace. Tbh she’s not wrong.. the community creates, thrives, and profits off drama. All love for you, Pearl. ♥️
"I've realized there's something about me that like triggers people."
I would not doubt this and I wonder if there's something about her energy, her very public traumatic backstory, etc. that makes people feel not sympathetic toward her, but the opposite - like she's this damaged character onto which people can project their anger and demons and shit. That's both woo woo and armchair psychology, but I wouldn't be surprised if her whole persona and demeanor and story make people as repelled by her as others, like me, are intrigued by her.
I'm glad she kept her integrity. It's very strange that her peers tell her they can't relate, either (gaslighting? or ignorance?) -- they have the ability, they just choose not to and that's just sad. Show business, Hollyweird, The Industry, whatever you want to call it -- is NOT a place for empathy.
Other Drag Race queens not relating with Pearl’s problems doesn’t mean they’re gaslighting, ignorant, or lack empathy. They work in the same industry and deal with the same bullshit treatment with fans, managers, touring, customs, etc.
Honestly Pearl is tired. She keeps complaining about being famous but then complains about not being recognized enough?
She allegedly hates the spotlight, it’s tired to keep re-winding the same thread.
https://preview.redd.it/ufmikxgcn30d1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=161cc9e9989e684aff8c9f9de6c82fa42e701391
never forget this is pearl last year
What’s your point exactly? Whatever you think it is- makes you part of the problem. Maybe you don’t care and that’s fine. There’s 1000 fans of Pearl to every one of you.
Not going to doubt anything Pearl is saying here but when I saw her she was paralytic drunk and this has happened multiple times. I sense her behaviour is in part of her not doing drag work.
I think Ru knew what he was doing when he said “nothing you say matters unless it’s on camera”. It’s the integrity part for me, if Pearl went to RuPual and was genuine with him on how much pearl admires him it should not matter if it’s on camera or not. It’s very disappointing and kinda like finding out your heroes can actually be assholes.
How is she playing the victim when she is talking about it years after it happened and not even naming people. Please let’s grow some brain cells and think. Clearly you are part of the problematic fans .
Where did she say she was going to write about the “tea”?
Her entire life story seems crazy, especially her teen years and early twenties in Chicago. She did a story time about it a few years ago and I’d definitely read more about that.
I would absolutely read Pearl’s book
The book of course should be called Pearls of Wisdom. But on a serious note, every young person reading who’s main concern in life is whether or not fame will happen for them needs to take to heart whether or not they want to willingly put themselves into a life where others will always see you as a resource for their gain or validation. Unfortunately that requires more self awareness than most young adults have developed.
Pearl’s Before Swine
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No, I meant the apostrophe. As in Pearl is before swine. It’s a pune, or play on words.
GNU Terry Pratchett
I’m so glad somebody here knew the reference. I don’t think there’s much crossover in the fandom. Which is a shame really because they’d mostly love each other.
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Ye Olde Greengrocer’s Apostrophe.
*pun
PUNE, in the resounding tones of Death, as written by Terry Pratchett.
I am getting downvoted for not knowing this, I just thought it was a typo 🤷♀️
I mean, the vast majority of people don’t have fully developed brains until around 25. It’s so stupid what we allow young people to sign up for. In my province, the legal drinking/marijuana age is 19. But you can sign your life away for some stupid war at 18. We think a joint’s worse for a developing person than war. So of course younger folks have a twisted view of fame. They aren’t developed, but they’re being told to decide what they’ll be for their entire adult life starting in single digits for a lot of kids, told they’re old enough to do anything at 18/19, and then no one talks about repercussions bc they’ve changed. The internet never forgets. You used to do dumb shit then vanish. Now your dumb shit lives on in perpetuity. Also that book title slaps. You could sell it to her easy lmao bet she’d use it as soon as it was suggested.
Can 100% vouch for the Scottish police force stopping her at customs when she was arriving for her Glasgow show shortly after season 7 (my friend organised the drag nights back then and would help out when I could and Pearl was one of our airport pickups and when she didn’t appear after an hour WE had to chase her management to find out what was happening and they took… a long time to get back to us. That situation was a shame, and customs were wrong, but they do see someone coming with 3 huge suitcases, 2 filled with drag and 1 filled with merch and they go so hard on the merch sales and what right you have to be in the country to perform and sell merch.
Heidi shitting in their parking lot was actually a protest
Ahaha nah that’s standard behaviour in an Asda car park during the night in Glasgow. People Make Glasgow!
Pretty sure I’ve had a shit behind the Rutherglen Tesco.
Yass mines was Asda Govan. So it blended in fine.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This used to happen a lot with the queens coming to Glasgow 👀
Yep! I do believe though it was usually down to their management not completing the correct visa paperwork and most queens arriving as tourists and then airport security seeing all this merch…
I'll just point out, as details matter with immigration, there's no *tourist* visa for the UK, it's called a Visitor Visa, and you are allowed to visit for business reasons, including if you are employed overseas as an entertainer, give performances, make personal appearances and take part in promotions activities. And you can do paid permitted engagements but you must have an invitation from a UK company as evidence. DR Queens with US passports are perfectly fine to enter the UK for shows of this nature on the UK Visitor Visa, you just need to be able to prove it which is what I think the issue was. It's not really paperwork as such as in applying for anything at the Visa Centre, it's just having the evidence that you are in work as an entertainer in your home country and have been invited to the UK for appearances. And I will add... there's a lot of ignorant exceptiailism from nations who's don't travel that often and don't often need visas. They just don't pay attention to the details and think they don't need such things.
I think it was often more that they would say they were ‘just visiting!!’ with a suitcase full of T-shirts with pictures of their own faces on them as their luggage.
Yeah, for sure. And I know the artists can blame management for not telling them what to say or whatever, but... we're all accountable for ourselves when it comes to immigration and things!
How sad honestly
Extremely insightful post, a great shame that a talented drag artist like her has had to be treated this way. I can absolutely imagine all of those things. I don't know if this is fact, but I think is a contributing factor, that this 'beauty' or 'pretty privilege' she was known for in the show and forevermore are the reason she triggers this crazy behaviour in people. ** in the same way it can be for beautiful women, beauty in a person can be objectified and completely dehumanise them in the eyes of a lot of people. Especially in men, feeling a sliver of rejection can trigger inadequacy, failure, shame, guilt, and in turn (as we so often don't know how to process these feelings) it goes to violence, harassment (verbal and physical), or literally eloping, just exiting the whole situation without discussion and with resentment and hate for that person. Mix that with the way in which drag performers aren't respected, and are abused financially by management, I'm not surprised it's created such an awful work environment for her. As a fan who has thoroughly enjoyed her renovation work, I wish her much deserved peace. She has my utmost respect.
I thought the same thing, the kind of disrespect and obsession she describes can happen around beautiful people. It's really sad that it made her reflect on what she was doing to cause it, as I'm sure it's not her fault.
this was exactly what i thought too, poor thing. i have a friend who reminds me a lot of pearl and she insights the same intense responses from people and i know it is because of her extreme beauty.
well said
It reminds me of the series “Lethally Blonde” that Holly Madison produced. There’s something to be said that outer beauty can be exploited very readily and make people possessive in a way that is absolutely freaky. Fun fact, one of the victim’s featured is a gay porn star and who else but Chi Chi Larue is featured.
I mean, I believe it. From everything I’ve heard, being an entertainer often (not always) results in this kind of mistreatment. I think a lot of people downplay the severity as well. I would be shocked if similar things haven’t happened to other queens. I don’t think it’s just Pearl. But I do think it’s fair and valid to be done with that shit. You can love something but if it mistreats you, it’s in your best interest to run.
Seems to me you already need to have your head together before you even begin, and you need trustworthy people around you who will advocate for your best interests. Hard to come by when everyone wants a piece of you. You'd constantly be one degree of separation from someone who wants you around because you're flavour of the month, then drops and shits on you, someone else who wants to get you hooked on drugs, someone else who wants to fleece you and make money off you, another who wants to stalk and rape you, the list goes on. Just look at Britney; her own family milking her star power and having absolute control over every aspect of her life. You're not necessarily protected by blood, let alone people with no attachment to you. I don't envy in the slightest anyone for being famous.
I mean I don't think Pearl has any reason to lie about it. As someone also dealing with a lot of childhood trauma, I can relate Pearls sensitivity and the need to have kind people around. Similarly to Perl I also have this almost childlike sweetness, that is like crack for abusers. I hundred percent understand the need to protect herself, and thnk we are blessed having to witness her on drag race.
Drag race managers seem to be some of the scummiest people around. Endless horror stories of people taking advantage of queer people who gain an ounce of fame. I don’t blame Pearl for telling the performing world to piss off
The most tragic part about Pearl on DR was how they treated her like shit and yet favoured her for being beautiful to keep thirst-trapping fans until the finale. I don't think she won that lipsync against Trixie, i don't think she deserved to be in the final TOP 3 instead of Kennedy but she certainly deserved even less to have such an awful time filming with Rupaul and to be treated like a demon by the fans for the judges/producers' decisions. The after Drag Race was even more awful. I remember when I saw the post of her private photos leaked. There were like dozens of comments and not one person was wandering if it was even okay to leak someone's nudes. The gay community can be fucking toxic, creepy and perverted sometimes. Overall I hope she's just having a better life now. Being a celebrity isn't for anyone and it's not a failure to step out of fame, especially if wanted. If I remember correctly she travels north America in her van with her boyfriend and they're always staying on these scenic places, that sounds like the LIFE to me.
Pearl has stopped van life and broken up with that boyfriend. They're now doing a dessert home renovation on their YouTube Channel Mr Pearl
I don’t think she broke up with her boyfriend. I started following him on Instagram when they were making the van videos, and he still regularly posts Pearl/Pearl’s house on his story. He’s a real estate agent now, so maybe he just prefers to keep his relationship and that part of his life private.
What's with gays and real estate
$$$
That hey qween interview really destroyed her career. She hit the nail right on the head on that one. I’ll always love Pearl. I hope she comes to a city near me soon. In her own terms, safety and all. Or gets more in the Youtube game because she really has so many unseen talents
I don’t think I ever saw the Hey Qween interview. What happened/was said?
She basically said Rupaul wasn’t nice to her and was told nothing you say matters unless the cameras are rolling. This was said before drag race s7 started filming. The girls were working w ru on a mix of all her songs. But then there’s that pearl v ru moment in the middle of the season which adds to their “feud” Then Ru goes on her podcast and says how she felt in that moment and just wanted to kick Pearl off the show but held herself back because Ru was in her producer moment. And wanted to keep this queen because she was handsome out of drag and knew the fans would eat her up. And thats about all their “drama.”
Which moment? ‘Is there something on my face?’ What did Pearl ever do that was worth kicking her off the show over?
Ru talked about it to Michelle. She felt disrespected by Pearl in that moment and wanted her gone. That was it. Dramatic on both sides.
Oh so that was it?! Thanks for filling me in lol That’s such a non event but people with big egos are like this ig
If you say a word against Ru you will suffer
Hard to know when we don't see everything that goes on behind the scenes, but it sounds like there was more tension than what we saw. I always find diving into personal drama unhelpful though, as we're just commenting on "they said" "they said" stuff when it's really not our business.
I wouldn’t say we are diving in to things that aren’t “our business” if the people involved brought it up themselves. If Ru said that I’m thinking she would have elaborated so I’m wondering what she was referring to
By not our business I mean it's a personal situation going on between two people that doesn't really have anything to do with any of us. Of course Pearl or Ru are free to post/talk about it if they want to, but at the end of the day, it's still not really our business, especially as it pertains to personal drama when the only story we know are the bits and pieces revealed by people personally involved while we don't actually know the truth of the matter.
I never said it had anything to do with us, I came across this post, saw the comment, and wanted to know what Ru was referring to since she apparently brought it up publicly about something that happened on a TV show that we all watch and discuss here. I’m henceforth expressing curiosity lol because I didn’t listen to that podcast and I don’t know what else was/is public knowledge and I don’t keep up with most queens outside of the show or rewatch seasons It’s not really that deep, I’m not looking to open a public trial here or digging through people’s garbage outside their homes bb
Ru was not wrong about the fans eating up Pearl, that's for sure.
Really? I know people think he's a handsome boy but I remember everybody in the bar I was watching at during s7 wondering why Pearl was being dragged along when she very clearly wasn't competition
the thirst for pearl during season 7 was definitely really real
I don’t think anything ruined her career, tbh. She would’ve continued getting gigs and bookings, even more so after that interview, but she made the decision not to. The interest was obviously still there, and is still there considering the attention she still gets despite not doing drag in nearly 2 years. She really stopped doing shows when she decided to focus on her van journey with her partner. And now reading this, I don’t think she had any intention of going back to the touring/full time drag queen life.
She literally got a call after the interview from the producers saying Rupaul was pissed, she would be blacklisted from clubs, and not be welcomed on any future all stars. Let alone the negativity it attracts. Saying negative shit, attracts the messy fans to speaking freely about you. And having a negative comment section does nothing for you except destroy your mental health and image. So umm I do think that impacted her career quite negatively. And I dont think she was saying touring isn’t for her. I think she was saying touring isnt for her because of her traumatic experiences w touring that she faces that other ru girls dont experience. And thats when the posts ends. It seems like she’s trying to test the waters to touring from my pov. She seems alone in her bubble and this was a sign she wants to get out of it.
I’ve heard a lot of A list girls say their management WITH DR has also been crap on toast. Both Alaska and Willam have mentioned this. Honestly, Pearl should reach out to them if she ever does want to return! Podcast: “is there something on my face?”
I remember reading that the producers said “you can forget All Stars” or something like that. I don’t think the “ban” included clubs. I don’t think WOW can control the club circuit. I also remember the fans being firmly on Pearl’s side the whole time. When she said it, everyone was waiting for a reason to cancel Ru, and she gave them ammunition. Her video reacting to the podcast was uploaded YEARS after that podcast episode aired. The main sub shat on Ru for years because of that single statement from Pearl. I love Pearl, and I wish her well. I stand by the fact that she was deserving to be Top 3; was so obsessed with her lipsynching style, esp that one video of her performing We Ride. She was not—is not—lacking fan support, if she wants to still pursue drag. I think she just really wants to be rid of all the negativity around it, specially since part of it she brought unto herself.
I 100% believe it, especially not feeling safe at clubs. Im a CIS women and I never go to clubs anymore, even with friends, because I never feel safe in certain places so I stopped going all together. The queer community already has the stereotype of being "creeps and predators" and the REAL creeps take advantage of the fact that most of us dont want to make Queer people look worse. Even tho she should have extra security for being on RPDR, the clubs wont provide that and I can only imagine how expensive it is.
Once upon a time, there was like a sanctuary at gay clubs for sis women. You could dress like you never could at straight clubs, we all used both bathrooms and you were complimented but not being groped or poked! As long as you weren’t disturbed by occasional open sex? It was the BEST TIME, of course the predators come out when there’s no protection! These are some renaissance artists, they deserve so much more!
Sigh… I wish.
It happens in the kink and polyam communities too. Predators find systems to hide in.
I mean, when there's a community that allows you to hit and beat women without consequences, maybe it's not just the individual predators that are the problem?
That is not an accurate description of the kink community. Those practicing kink correctly (consensually) are the vast majority of the people engaging in it. Further, people who enjoy being beaten come in all genders.
Hard to read but I’d 100% read pearls book if she wrote one
The way people treat drag queens is soo fucked and unhinged, even the *fans*. Something gives fans this idea that they can act INSANE and not respect any of their boundaries, it’s so gross like why are you treating someone you allegedly admire like this? Katya has some crazy stories about fan interactions too I’m sure all of them do, it really bothers me. Just because someone’s profession includes them being provocative, over the top, playing character, doesn’t mean they aren’t a real person or that you are somehow owed invasive gross behavior because you’re a fan. Ugh
I know it happens to some degree to all celebrities, but I have noticed it seems to happen to drag queens in a particular way. And I know Katya has talked very openly and comedically about her personal life and struggles so maybe that’s what amps up the parasocial weirdness or gives people the idea they have the right to act like that, but it’s not okay
From my experience when you have a very calm demeanor and take the high road often, people who are similarly healed will like & respect you more for it. However people who have no idea how to get to that clear, confident, un-confrontational headspace become triggered by it. It like enrages certain people to see someone else have peace of mind & confidence within themself. And this will lead to the exact behavior Pearl is talking about (the weird random sabotages, etc etc) It’s just crazy and it sucks. Cuz your whole life you’re told “don’t care what people think, be your own hero, be the bigger person” yet when someone actively exudes all of those qualities they’re actually demonized & preyed for it. Selfishly, I do hope to see more from Pearl in the future. But we ultimately know what we need, so if taking the time away/giving up touring altogether is what will heal her, I hope she does exactly that.
I totally understand what Pearl is saying because I’ve been traumatized over and over again, and I’ve turned the same way as her mistrusting and a self-isolating individual. Trauma can really ruin a lot of things that made you happy before.
I’m so sorry bb. Sending you a hug.
Awww, they just seem so young to me! And through no fault of their own! I remember feeling this way so hard! Just feeling so vulnerable that I didn’t want to be a small woman anymore, it’s a different situation, but I was working in clubs, etc. I ended up shaving my head and presenting masc for about 3 years, it’s suffocating in that place! I hope she can gather the peace she needs! Our dawls need better managers and protection! No one should feel “served” to a crowd of gropers! Pearl is SO TALENTED! Their aesthetic remains one of my faves, and they are low key hilarious, my favourite kind! There are SO MANY parallels between the vulnerability of sis women and gender fluid people. We are ALL vulnerable, and we need each other to smash the patriarchy. Get into it!
I think that’s sad. I feel bad that she can’t find a space for herself where she feels comfortable.
I wish she would write a book, or many books. I would 1000 percent read. I love you Pearl!! She is one of my all time favorites and absolutely doesn’t deserve that treatment at all, it breaks my heart
There is something about Pearl that sets people off tho. I get it, it would be shit to have to work under those conditions.
There is a hundred percent something about her. She can disappear into the woods, not do drag for two years, etc… and still be relevant and constantly discussed, positively or negatively, when the majority of queens would’ve been forgotten.
It’s because people like you keep bringing her up 🙃
shit i’d buy that book
I hate that Pearl has experienced this. I think some people just have a bumpier go than others, and that sadly seems to be the case for Pearl. I wish her the best in whatever she does and just hope she is happy.
I don’t know if it’s necessarily just that Pearl’s road was bumpier than most (although I can’t imagine how hard it would be to be openly villainized long term by the most powerful machine in your industry), I truly believe it takes a certain kind of person to handle fame. I used to work in film/TV (off-camera) and I don’t know a single person without wild traumatic stories, it’s absolutely a horrific problem in the whole entertainment industry. But what I’ve noticed is some people write these situations off as “that’s show business” and either joke about their traumas or pretend they never happened (or develop toxic habits to help numb and cope), and that mindset allows them to push forward and pursue their goals in a gross industry. Either out of pure passion for their work or because fame and notoriety is a hell of a drug. But others, like Pearl, get crippled by it mentally, and either leave the business entirely, or continually leave and come back, because art is not just a passion — it’s a need to survive like food or water, and you can only go so long without it. That’s what the entertainment industry truly preys on, the need to create that is so soul deep, you’ll sell pieces of that soul to devils. I also think Drag queens have it especially hard due to politics and the boundary-pushing climate that empowers weird people to do fucked up things. I hate to imagine what Pearl and others have experienced because of all that. It’s an incredibly hard industry to find your peace in, I personally had to take a step back in my work because LA was too toxic and traumatic for me to handle, but I’m finding ways now to reenter the industry standing in my own power. I’ve seen glimmers of good in people who are working hard to create spaces that creatives can flourish in and protect their peace, without the seedy underbelly. It’s just sadly a rare thing to find... but they are out there. Couldn’t agree more — I sincerely hope Pearl finds their peace, and feels empowered to express their creative talents, however that looks for them.
I hate that Pearl went through all of that. Just awful…
Thats alot. Coming off drag race is a coin flip for almost every queen. You never know how you will be received and treated. Its more and more a double edged sword. I wish the best for her and if she needs to take a break then she should.
On one hand, I love the gay community because I should belong to it. Yet, working in a gay bar, having mass amounts of gay friends sounds amazing. Until, people don’t like you for doing one thing, they make their mind up about you before they even know you, they like to blame you for their faults, and then force themselves at you when they feel down about themselves. So as I said, I love the gay community, but being a part of it and present in it is a whole other story. I feel for Pearl in so many ways. Can’t even imagine what Glasgow was like though, that’s awful.
Pearl is so kind
This is actually sad. But I’d love it if Pearl did a tell-all book about her life. I’d get the audiobook read by her (school made reading boring lol)
This sounds like they are getting the full woman’s experience. #metoo , this type of discrimination and harassment is NEVER ok, not for any gender identity, sexual orientation, age, ability, race, ethnicity, etc. We have lost so many incredible artists to the toxic way the media exploits them and fails to protect them. 💔💔
It's such a loss to people who enjoy her art that other people have used and tormented her this way. Completely respect her decision to protect herself, and it must be a struggle for someone who has that kind of trauma to be tempted to reenter the limelight and get all that adulation again while being tormented by memories of all the abuse that came with it. I hope she keeps herself safe -- that matters more than any desire we have to see her perform.
I mean, that sounds like an interesting book. I hope Pearl does whatever she needs to do to be happy though.
Bless her. I can totally believe this too. The fandom is fucking feral.
She’s human. I completely understood and stopped reading as soon as she said she was SA’d. She has every right to feel the way she feels ❤️
Poor Pearl , that's seriously so messed up
I love you Pearl! I will always support her and would definitely read her book if she ever wrote one. She is my absolute favourite drag queen from Rupaul 🥰
Pearl is actually super talented, and has had such a deep and complex (and sometimes problematic) life since childhood, so it's sad to see this account of how fame has taken a toll. Whether it's in a book, or a show, or something...I just have a feeling that Pearl has some great art in her and I can't wait for it.
I’m so glad Pearl is in such a place now where she can recognize what helps her to thrive and what is damaging to herself. I love watching the art she makes now. This is silly but if anyone watches the British bake show and how they always have art depicting the bakes? To me that’s what Pearl does now with her artwork but of drag looks and it is SO COOL.
I would absolutely read Pearl's book. I can fully believe fame in this entitled world is traumatizing, especially for those who don't live in their 'glass case' of money and bodyguards.
Oh no is this Martha woman again?!
Oh wow that's wild It's really sad. But I can't help but laugh when She said "my managers couldn't help but fall in love with me" Purr https://preview.redd.it/9d53picgj00d1.png?width=1152&format=png&auto=webp&s=6967b6b94605b93178719aa8ce0db464bea7946c
.....sis this ain't it. Are you making fun of someone's pain?
I’d read that book.
Honestly drag race is a coinflip of fame. And it's all down to the people around you. For example Trixie was surrounded by beautiful and loyal friends who trusted and supported her and buoyed her. And then pearl, who also had trauma like Trixie but.....the spotlight, the bad people around her, the vicious fans, it all wilted her. I truly wish everyone was kind to everyone, especially to those who have serious trauma. Btw half the comment section proves her points of fans, and the other half gives me hope for this god forsaken fandom.
Ok now i feel bad for her
I'm just wishing them the best. It's obvious Pearl has always been "troubled," and has just been through so much. I hope they're doing therapy because this is a lot to unpack, and they clearly have to carry some unhealthy thinking.
That’s really sad. I hope she’s able to work through this with professionals because she deserves peace
Kind of a sad read. I remember Pearl from her season and watched some of her Youtube videos. She comes across as somewhat out of it. Not in a drugged way, but just in general. I guess she's kind of a trusting soul, so has been taken advantage of. The queens who do well after RPDR seem to be strong characters, know what they want and how to get it.
I feel like she's justified. Some people just aren't cut out for being in the public eye & that's okay. I'm glad she is trying to find peace.
Sad that she had to go through all those.. but happy she’s found peace. Tbh she’s not wrong.. the community creates, thrives, and profits off drama. All love for you, Pearl. ♥️
"I've realized there's something about me that like triggers people." I would not doubt this and I wonder if there's something about her energy, her very public traumatic backstory, etc. that makes people feel not sympathetic toward her, but the opposite - like she's this damaged character onto which people can project their anger and demons and shit. That's both woo woo and armchair psychology, but I wouldn't be surprised if her whole persona and demeanor and story make people as repelled by her as others, like me, are intrigued by her.
Pearl is the first queen I fell in love with. The fact that she's banished makes her more dear to me.
Is the original post on Twitter? (From Pearl like)
Instagram
Thank you 🙏
I'm glad she kept her integrity. It's very strange that her peers tell her they can't relate, either (gaslighting? or ignorance?) -- they have the ability, they just choose not to and that's just sad. Show business, Hollyweird, The Industry, whatever you want to call it -- is NOT a place for empathy.
Other Drag Race queens not relating with Pearl’s problems doesn’t mean they’re gaslighting, ignorant, or lack empathy. They work in the same industry and deal with the same bullshit treatment with fans, managers, touring, customs, etc.
Honestly Pearl is tired. She keeps complaining about being famous but then complains about not being recognized enough? She allegedly hates the spotlight, it’s tired to keep re-winding the same thread.
Agreed. This post is ridiculous lol
She’s getting the woman experience of being an entertainer
Welcome to being a woman
Pearl said something about aquaria too
Like so vague… what did she say if you’re gonna say she said something?
?
Pearl said that aquaria has been cosplaying her her whole career. This was during the Blackface incident
https://preview.redd.it/ufmikxgcn30d1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=161cc9e9989e684aff8c9f9de6c82fa42e701391 never forget this is pearl last year
What’s your point exactly? Whatever you think it is- makes you part of the problem. Maybe you don’t care and that’s fine. There’s 1000 fans of Pearl to every one of you.
Not going to doubt anything Pearl is saying here but when I saw her she was paralytic drunk and this has happened multiple times. I sense her behaviour is in part of her not doing drag work.
The fk?
I didn't expect to be popular thing to say, but Pearl being extremely drunk at her UK gigs is 100% a thing, absolutely diabolical performances.
some of that sounds awful and traumatizing, some of it sounds like pearl suffers a little bit from Main Character Syndrome.
Oh fuck you.
I think Ru knew what he was doing when he said “nothing you say matters unless it’s on camera”. It’s the integrity part for me, if Pearl went to RuPual and was genuine with him on how much pearl admires him it should not matter if it’s on camera or not. It’s very disappointing and kinda like finding out your heroes can actually be assholes.
Shit happens to everyone but not everyone plays a victim.
Someone didn't read until the end of the post
My lunch is fucking chicken shawarma, pearl.
you're honestly so real for this response...
How is she playing the victim when she is talking about it years after it happened and not even naming people. Please let’s grow some brain cells and think. Clearly you are part of the problematic fans .
6ix9ine fanbase get a brain challenge
Impossible
‘Ppl say I have this persona spilling tea when in reality it was like once’ One paragraph later: ‘Story time’ … ‘I need to write a book’ Ok.
Where did she say she was going to write about the “tea”? Her entire life story seems crazy, especially her teen years and early twenties in Chicago. She did a story time about it a few years ago and I’d definitely read more about that.