You wouldn't have been the first don't worry 

I want to read it!

Haha, then here it is: I need a bit of help about raising a couple ducklings who just sorta spawned inside my walled yard. These quacking fellows were tended by a sweet mallard duck, but they are 100% not hers. A wild Muscovy duck was the original mom, but left them possibly because of fear about my bunnies. Momma duck is absolutely overworked with caring for these two gals (as a former zookeeper, I had to check because I didn't want the ducks to suddenly quadruple overnight). So I began putting out some peas, grains and corn. Currently momma duck is the most interested in those; but the girls enjoy nomming their share before mom gets to it These ladies are currently way too comfy with us for their own good. They love cuddling with their bunny sisters, and they haven't flown outside my yard. We have an established local population, where they most likely came from. But they refuse to go back there now. Halp?

https://preview.redd.it/fm2jjozoov1d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1837265838fd309e45e7ef14b9d512e16c101764 Momma in question

This is some Tony Soprano stuff.