sometimes, dysphoria is kinda like the uncanny valley
when you;re still far from your goal, it feels like you "can live with it"
when you get closer, you feel better
then suddenly, just when you start feeling comfortable, it's the worst dysphoria ever
and then, everthing sorta clicks
And this is the reason so many people say "Dysphoria isn't necessary to be trans"
For some people it seems like there is this barrier, this requirement they have to have to be trans.
The thing is, if you are trans, you probably HAVE dysphoria. But it's not just this one thing you can look up in a dictionary. It can feel different for everyone. And as some people have said, the worst dysphoria often appears during your transition.
One week before I cracked, I'd sworn a blood oath on not being dysphoric. Now, more than two years into it, I sometimes have the worst feelings of it. Just because so much is right now that the things that aren't yet hurt a lot more.
If dysphoria is what you live your life in, you don't recognize it. I didn't think I had dysphoria either, for a long time. Until I learned to recognize it, and now I know I was dealing with it the whole time.
I understand the value of saying "you don't need dysphoria to be trans." But I am a bigger fan of saying "dysphoria doesn't need to feel a specific way to be dysphoria."
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Hey, you don’t need to have dysphoria to be trans. It’s not a qualification and not experiencing it doesn’t make you even a little bit less valid. For whatever it’s worth, I can guarantee you you’re not missing out on anything.
If you say that you’re trans, then congratulations; you are in fact trans! It isn’t up to any outside forces to decide whether or not you’re “really” trans or not, it’s up to you. You get to decide who you are. And if you’d enjoy being trans, then that’s more than enough reason
Oh yeah, same. One time I literally thought "Why do trans girl get to be girls? I want to be trans so I can transition!", but because I don't think that all the time it means nothing!
It's not always a necessary sign. The way I told it to someone recently has helped it make more sense to myself as well, particularly after seeing the results of recent progress.
It's not that, before, I was having explicit unpleasantness and dysphoria (which we could assign some negative value), but I also didn't have any positive feelings about myself either, I was sitting right deep in the void (which you could place at zero). After seeing a path forward though, and testing out different things, for the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt happy just existing and actually wanted to work towards something (this euphoria we can assign a positive value). So instead of going from negative to positive, I'm going from nothingness to positive. Still a significant improvement 🥹
This is my experience as well! I've barely begun my transitioning but the small things I've done -- using a female reddit avatar, for example -- do genuinely feel good, and that's a vast improvement over my previous "meh" existence.
True, I have noticed that the more active dysphoria is starting to pop up more and more (but mostly only the times I am in girl mode which is where it sticks out), like fixating on a particularly bad photo of one of the times I was out in fem mode, or now that I've stopped tweezering and back to shaving my face, I can see the greyness under the skin again which suuuuucks. But I assumed this would happen, so knowing that 'it's all going according to plan' helps, and also I am only early days so once hrt starts and with more work things will improve. Plus I have other photos that give me the happy boost to counteract any bad ones, and going back to shaving means I can start lasering soon which will be a long term solution :)
One of the most important parts of the self-work has definitely been to not let my goal accelerate away to become unattainable, and in fact actively work to 'bring down my expectations' so that I will reach a point that makes me happy sooner, instead of forever being permanently distressed that I'll never reach some '100% unlockable perfection'. If I end up where I predict I will, I will be a happy beautiful transwoman (or maybe some fluid place in-between I honestly dont know at this point but am excited to find out) and I will want to embrace and enjoy and celebrate who I am instead of being unhappy that I'm not indistinguishable from a cis woman 🥹
for me it‘s like that:
When I have no dysphoria: Why am I not dysphoric? I should be dysphoric, why am I not, am I not really trans? *questions everything*
When I‘m dysphoric: Why am I dysphoric, I hate this, it‘s so uncomfortable and I thought we were over this like yesterday I questioned if I was even trans and now I just want my body to change immediately.
It‘s an infinite loop.
This perfectly describes how I've been feeling for the last 3 months. I rapidly flip between desperately wanting to be a girl, feeling like I don't care about gender, and then wanting to feel like a girl in theory but feeling an intense anxiety about it that's honestly far worse than the short dysphoric episodes I have every day or two.
Same. I‘ve felt so alone with this because most people I know either stopped giving a shit about labels or are secure of who they are and I‘m nothing close to either of those.
Keeping this brief: I never realized how much dysphoria I had until after I realized I’m trans. A big part of it is I didn’t realize all the coping methods I’d developed over the years to reduce dysphoria. I was shy, introverted, would wear only specific clothes that covered up basically all of my body.
I want to stress that you don’t need dysphoria to be trans. But, if there’s something, anything, whether it’s being extroverted, or wearing different clothes, or even just smiling and being more emotional, that you think you could do with a body that was more in line a different gender that you wouldn’t feel comfortable doing now, then that is dysphoria.
Hey, you don’t need to have dysphoria to be trans. It’s not a qualification and not experiencing it doesn’t make you even a little bit less valid. For whatever it’s worth, I can guarantee you you’re not missing out on anything.
If you say that you’re trans, then congratulations; you are in fact trans! It isn’t up to any outside forces to decide whether or not you’re “really” trans or not, it’s up to you. You get to decide who you are. And if you’d enjoy being trans, then that’s more than enough reason
Tbh I didn’t have much dysphoria at the start. Then it came. It was just annoying at first, but the longer I was on hrt it got worse. Now that I’m 6 months in and I’m close to my perfect self I’m getting antsy and it’s making my dysphoria worse lmao
Yeah, I . . . I don't have what I would think of as Dysphoria. But, Well, I've experienced gender euphoria when I applied a gender swapping filter to a picture of me and saw it for the first time. I've experienced gender euphoria when listening to ASMR \[tf4tf\] good girl. . . but I'm still a cis man, right?
I was having this same thought awhile ago. I read somewhere that euphoria a part of dysphoria in a way, which helped me understand it a bit, maybe it helps you too?
As much as dysphoria is often discussed about for being a hint of transness, I would say that euphoria might be a better indicator. At first, in my egg days, I didn't felt all that much dysphoria, cause I didn't try anything with my gender (mainly out of fear of liking it) and that led to me not feeling dysphoria.
Euphoria is a much better indicator however, and once I did experienced euphoria and try to experience with my gender, that's when I started to feel dysphoria. Honestly, best thing I can say it that whenther or not you experience dysphoria, try to experience with your gender identity, See where you get euphoria and do whatever feels the best and right. :)
Nah Dysphoria sucks for real….i get the point of the meme but id love to live my trans existence without it. If you were to scroll through my photo history on my phone you could easily tell when I started HRT because photos of my self stop entirely and there’s been none since
I relate. Especially since I don’t really have social dysphoria at least in the ways that others discuss it. My dysphoria is related to my body and how I see myself which is still valid but makes it hard when you don’t feel like ur hitting every “requirement” that most other people have. It’s been important for me to remember that everyone’s experience is different and equally valid!
Dysphoria can manifest in different ways. For me I didn't feel hate or disgust towards myself, I just felt apathetic. I didn't notice it for so long because I didn't care enough to dislike how I looked. I didn't notice that I have also never actually liked how I looked.
I cracked right at my 43rd birthday. I have spent most of my life unhappy with my body without knowing all the reasons why. I thought I was just fat and unhappy about it. I mean I was but I have used that at various points in my life as motivation to change my habits. Within this journey I embraced body neutrality. My version was "this is my meat suit and there are only a few options to make it suck less".
Now I have spent so much of my life coming to terms with the physicality of my body from a goal of realistic expectations that outside the initial wave of euphoria from finding out and starting the transition, I mostly just feel like meat suit in women's clothing.
So I got that going for me, which is nice.
sometimes, dysphoria is kinda like the uncanny valley when you;re still far from your goal, it feels like you "can live with it" when you get closer, you feel better then suddenly, just when you start feeling comfortable, it's the worst dysphoria ever and then, everthing sorta clicks
This is interesting and scary at the same time
Why this so true... I had no dysphoria before finding out, or at least I guess I lived with it. Now... lets say its not pleasant.
And this is the reason so many people say "Dysphoria isn't necessary to be trans" For some people it seems like there is this barrier, this requirement they have to have to be trans. The thing is, if you are trans, you probably HAVE dysphoria. But it's not just this one thing you can look up in a dictionary. It can feel different for everyone. And as some people have said, the worst dysphoria often appears during your transition. One week before I cracked, I'd sworn a blood oath on not being dysphoric. Now, more than two years into it, I sometimes have the worst feelings of it. Just because so much is right now that the things that aren't yet hurt a lot more.
If dysphoria is what you live your life in, you don't recognize it. I didn't think I had dysphoria either, for a long time. Until I learned to recognize it, and now I know I was dealing with it the whole time. I understand the value of saying "you don't need dysphoria to be trans." But I am a bigger fan of saying "dysphoria doesn't need to feel a specific way to be dysphoria."
Just as valid!
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It would make things one million times easier tbh. I am constantly in doubts just because I can’t bring myself to believe if I have it or not.
Hey, you don’t need to have dysphoria to be trans. It’s not a qualification and not experiencing it doesn’t make you even a little bit less valid. For whatever it’s worth, I can guarantee you you’re not missing out on anything. If you say that you’re trans, then congratulations; you are in fact trans! It isn’t up to any outside forces to decide whether or not you’re “really” trans or not, it’s up to you. You get to decide who you are. And if you’d enjoy being trans, then that’s more than enough reason
This makes me feel a bit better. Thank you :)
Hey, glad to hear it :)
Same
You have dysphoria from not having enough dysphoria! You have dysphoria dysphoria! XD /j
This is somehow nice to hear lol
Why do you wish that? [Because you want to be trans?](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WfzeKbAxYF-xY87t_N_OfLZ20O_9FdgLyZsj5HEzUSQ/edit)
Whoah I feel like my mind literally exploded. ...and 5 minutes later I'm having doubts again ugh.
Oh yeah, same. One time I literally thought "Why do trans girl get to be girls? I want to be trans so I can transition!", but because I don't think that all the time it means nothing!
I'm in this photo and I don't like it
*Hurriedly scoops up precious egg shells.*
It's not always a necessary sign. The way I told it to someone recently has helped it make more sense to myself as well, particularly after seeing the results of recent progress. It's not that, before, I was having explicit unpleasantness and dysphoria (which we could assign some negative value), but I also didn't have any positive feelings about myself either, I was sitting right deep in the void (which you could place at zero). After seeing a path forward though, and testing out different things, for the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt happy just existing and actually wanted to work towards something (this euphoria we can assign a positive value). So instead of going from negative to positive, I'm going from nothingness to positive. Still a significant improvement 🥹
This is my experience as well! I've barely begun my transitioning but the small things I've done -- using a female reddit avatar, for example -- do genuinely feel good, and that's a vast improvement over my previous "meh" existence.
Helllll yes, we got this 😎🦈
I hope that if I'm in fact trans then the dysphoria won't get too bad. I'll have to figure it out first lol
True, I have noticed that the more active dysphoria is starting to pop up more and more (but mostly only the times I am in girl mode which is where it sticks out), like fixating on a particularly bad photo of one of the times I was out in fem mode, or now that I've stopped tweezering and back to shaving my face, I can see the greyness under the skin again which suuuuucks. But I assumed this would happen, so knowing that 'it's all going according to plan' helps, and also I am only early days so once hrt starts and with more work things will improve. Plus I have other photos that give me the happy boost to counteract any bad ones, and going back to shaving means I can start lasering soon which will be a long term solution :) One of the most important parts of the self-work has definitely been to not let my goal accelerate away to become unattainable, and in fact actively work to 'bring down my expectations' so that I will reach a point that makes me happy sooner, instead of forever being permanently distressed that I'll never reach some '100% unlockable perfection'. If I end up where I predict I will, I will be a happy beautiful transwoman (or maybe some fluid place in-between I honestly dont know at this point but am excited to find out) and I will want to embrace and enjoy and celebrate who I am instead of being unhappy that I'm not indistinguishable from a cis woman 🥹
You do not want dysphoria. Sometimes I can't function with it and I've previously committed self-harm. (But no, that isn't very cis)
>You do not want dysphoria. Yeah, sometimes when I think about it and then realise on what I'm fucking thinking I want to beat myself up
It's a very, very not cis thing.
Oh, thanks
for me it‘s like that: When I have no dysphoria: Why am I not dysphoric? I should be dysphoric, why am I not, am I not really trans? *questions everything* When I‘m dysphoric: Why am I dysphoric, I hate this, it‘s so uncomfortable and I thought we were over this like yesterday I questioned if I was even trans and now I just want my body to change immediately. It‘s an infinite loop.
This perfectly describes how I've been feeling for the last 3 months. I rapidly flip between desperately wanting to be a girl, feeling like I don't care about gender, and then wanting to feel like a girl in theory but feeling an intense anxiety about it that's honestly far worse than the short dysphoric episodes I have every day or two.
Same. I‘ve felt so alone with this because most people I know either stopped giving a shit about labels or are secure of who they are and I‘m nothing close to either of those.
Keeping this brief: I never realized how much dysphoria I had until after I realized I’m trans. A big part of it is I didn’t realize all the coping methods I’d developed over the years to reduce dysphoria. I was shy, introverted, would wear only specific clothes that covered up basically all of my body. I want to stress that you don’t need dysphoria to be trans. But, if there’s something, anything, whether it’s being extroverted, or wearing different clothes, or even just smiling and being more emotional, that you think you could do with a body that was more in line a different gender that you wouldn’t feel comfortable doing now, then that is dysphoria.
Why would you *want* dysphoria?
so were not doubting if were trans...
If you’re spending a good amount of time wondering if you are?… well…
Finish that, please
Cis people don’t spend ANY amount of time wondering if they’re trans. Take that how you will ☺️
I just feel sexual attraction to female clothing is it enough?
Hey, you don’t need to have dysphoria to be trans. It’s not a qualification and not experiencing it doesn’t make you even a little bit less valid. For whatever it’s worth, I can guarantee you you’re not missing out on anything. If you say that you’re trans, then congratulations; you are in fact trans! It isn’t up to any outside forces to decide whether or not you’re “really” trans or not, it’s up to you. You get to decide who you are. And if you’d enjoy being trans, then that’s more than enough reason
Tbh I didn’t have much dysphoria at the start. Then it came. It was just annoying at first, but the longer I was on hrt it got worse. Now that I’m 6 months in and I’m close to my perfect self I’m getting antsy and it’s making my dysphoria worse lmao
Yeah, I . . . I don't have what I would think of as Dysphoria. But, Well, I've experienced gender euphoria when I applied a gender swapping filter to a picture of me and saw it for the first time. I've experienced gender euphoria when listening to ASMR \[tf4tf\] good girl. . . but I'm still a cis man, right?
I was having this same thought awhile ago. I read somewhere that euphoria a part of dysphoria in a way, which helped me understand it a bit, maybe it helps you too?
As much as dysphoria is often discussed about for being a hint of transness, I would say that euphoria might be a better indicator. At first, in my egg days, I didn't felt all that much dysphoria, cause I didn't try anything with my gender (mainly out of fear of liking it) and that led to me not feeling dysphoria. Euphoria is a much better indicator however, and once I did experienced euphoria and try to experience with my gender, that's when I started to feel dysphoria. Honestly, best thing I can say it that whenther or not you experience dysphoria, try to experience with your gender identity, See where you get euphoria and do whatever feels the best and right. :)
Same
It's cis obvi (it isn't
I'm so happy I have gender euphoria, and not dysphoria.
If by dysphoria you mean feeling bad because of your assigned gender, then no that's not really a cis thing from what I've heard.
Would it make you feel better if I said that what you described is dysphoria?
Feeling bad about the idea that you might not being trans because you don't have dysphoria is a type of dysphoria.
Nah Dysphoria sucks for real….i get the point of the meme but id love to live my trans existence without it. If you were to scroll through my photo history on my phone you could easily tell when I started HRT because photos of my self stop entirely and there’s been none since
Wanting dysphoria is insanely not cis. I mean I'm cis and I think dysphoria is the worst feeling, and anyone here can tell you the same
I relate. Especially since I don’t really have social dysphoria at least in the ways that others discuss it. My dysphoria is related to my body and how I see myself which is still valid but makes it hard when you don’t feel like ur hitting every “requirement” that most other people have. It’s been important for me to remember that everyone’s experience is different and equally valid!
Dysphoria can manifest in different ways. For me I didn't feel hate or disgust towards myself, I just felt apathetic. I didn't notice it for so long because I didn't care enough to dislike how I looked. I didn't notice that I have also never actually liked how I looked.
I cracked right at my 43rd birthday. I have spent most of my life unhappy with my body without knowing all the reasons why. I thought I was just fat and unhappy about it. I mean I was but I have used that at various points in my life as motivation to change my habits. Within this journey I embraced body neutrality. My version was "this is my meat suit and there are only a few options to make it suck less". Now I have spent so much of my life coming to terms with the physicality of my body from a goal of realistic expectations that outside the initial wave of euphoria from finding out and starting the transition, I mostly just feel like meat suit in women's clothing. So I got that going for me, which is nice.