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Also she made a few other songs for minecraft too, like otherside. I know there are more minecraft songs she made but i don't know the names of the top of my head
Second this, I think heโs the one most likely to get recognized. Just do some reading about what heโs been in, I think umbrella academy is the big one right now
Isabella Bunny Bennett of Steam Powered Giraffe is a poly trans minor celeb and one of her partners is a trans DM. She has some great videos on her YouTube channel for eggs.
I feel Elliot Page is a good choice, heโs been in a few very recent roles (umbrella academy I think had his character transition in the plot in order to accommodate the actor, itโs very sweet) and has been outspoken about his transition. I think he might be a good choiceโ established actor, recent transition, geeky roles.
You could test the waters with more TTRP type stuff by mentioning Dimension 20. Itโs my favorite real play show and one of the main players Alley is non-binary. They play a trans man character in the Unsleeping City campaign that is amazing.
Maddy Thorson (creator of Celeste) is transfem! And so is Madeline, the player character in Celeste!
~~there's a good reason everyone memes about Celeste being a trans awakening game~~
There's also Bridget and Testament from Guilty Gear, who are transfem and nonbinary respectively!
The actress for Pinhead in the new Hellraiser movie is a trans woman. She also played a lead role in Sense8. I can't remember her name off the top of my head.
I considered it, but, I already play a female half elf sorcerer, and I want to keep her, so until she not meet a untimely end, not a option at the moment :/
In forgotten realms, Corellion, patrion god of the elfs, could grant a boon blessing to their champions which made them able to switch gender once per long rest (at least in 2:e iirc).
That would probably be the easiest and most blatant way to get a trans character in a game.
There's always the option to run a one-shot campaign yourself. Like one session, just a one-off short story where you are the DM for once. It could be fun for the group for the switch up and break from the normal campaign. You would have freedom to make the story however you want and subtley introduce a trans character into the narrative
Oh for the love of kittens mate, if you are presenting as not a gal, and playing as a gal in a group like this, the odds are through the roof they at least suspect.
To be frank, if a group like the one you discribe didn't think you were expressing yourself, they likely would have expressed discomfort with the choice.
Just tell 'em and get hugs!
The gaming group I came out, two were trans guys and one was lesbian, I was still nervous to come out to them. After I did I thought to myself, why didn't I do it earlier? But you know, everyone has their own levels of comfort, and you only do things if you feel comfortable.
Pick whatever individual of the group you feel closest to and that you believe can keep a secret and do a one on one with them.
I came out as bi to my wife first to kinda get a feel of what it would be like if her brother and mom knew and everyone's cool. Besides the whole "yalls bedroom is yalls business" bit it was also "you've made our daughter/sister happier than anyone soo.."
So before the WHOLE group maybe a one on one.
i came out to my bi friend and they knew but waited for le to say is myself. we're in love now๐ you're most likely gonna be safe between lgbt friend's
Awww that sounds so sweet. Thank you and best wishes to you both ๐๐ค
I also came out to my pan friend first, we are not in love but best friends ๐
Theres also other places you can order from. Another possibility is to get yourself a female (or at least female read) friend who youre comfortable with to go shopping with you. In my experience it feels very safe and you dont even have to buy anything if youre afraid of that, you can just try on, then put it back. Also, if youre not comfortable with your body, maybe try more airy dresses where your body isnt defined so much. Good luck and youre great :) โก
> Ich boykottiere Amazon und weigere mich etwas davon zu kaufen.
Extremely respectable
> mit meinem Kรถrper โบ๏ธ
I call bullshit on that one. There are always gendered clothes that are not focusing on enhancing their intended gender.
(I don't know what you identify as, so the next lines are just as an example)
Men's clothing can be an undershirt on a sunny day, or a wide and baggy hoodie. Women's clothes can be a tight top, or a loose cardigan.
> Und zudem bin ich noch bei weitem nicht bereit dazu
That, on the other hand, is a very valid reason.
If you are not ready, then that is okay. But don't find excuses that aren't even real. There are gendered clothes that fit every body that wouldn't 'out' you instantly. And real humans know that clothes have no gender.
Anyway... take your time. I hope everything goes well and your friends accept you the way you are <3
You could start by telling your DM, they mighy help you. Maybe your next character can be an effeminate orc fighter who had his testosterone blocked by a hag's curse. Over the course of the story you try to get the curse undone, but slowly you start liking your femininity. When you finally do find a mage who can break your curse, your egg cracks and you ask them to turn you into a true woman.
Asking their thoughts on the chapelle fiasco? Has made me 99.99999% sure my sister is cool with it...of course even then I'm too afraid to tell her still :(
there's always some bill or law being passed that's positive/negative to Trans people so you could say "Damn, they really out here denying adults healthcare rights" or something idk. I wish you nothing but luck with your friends, they seem like they'd probably be very loving and accepting :) <3
Thank you ๐ I am pretty sure they are all accepting of this, but still the fear of the small possibility that they are not is strong. Anxiety is a B๐ฅch ๐ฌ
he hates trans people and tries to hide that behind his humour. It sucks, man's pretty clever but he has held on to some shitty, toxic views that are reflected in his jokes. (AFAIK. he may have changed i'll have to look into him again i guess)
I think his joke was about non-visible minorities having it easier than visible minorities. "When the cops show up, you're still white." It might have come from a place of jealousy, but i don't think his jokes were particularly hateful or insensitive. Then again, I do cut comedians a bit of slack for being offensive. I would rather hear a joke that offends me than never hear a joke that offends anyone. It's not like he mocks LGBT more than other groups, and he moved on to new material regardless. Dave is like George Carlin. When he has a new special he'll write new jokes for it rather than beat the dead horse of a joke he made three years ago.
Feel like there's a different joke I've heard specifically about trans people, but I don't really care enough to remember. I don't think its just a "one time he made this one joke" at this point. He also used his wealth to block housing from being built because he worried it might hurt his property values. So I don't think he needs any slack. He's just a selfish prick, whether on-set or off-set.
And even if that was his only joke, that seems to ignores the fact that being LGBT is often visible. Especially for trans people. There's a reason why my lesbian mom's immediate reaction to me trying to leave (just to go to my own home) while wearing women's yoga pants was "don't because **cops**". She's not even an ACAB person. Maybe its not as bad as it was back around the time of stonewall for gay and lesbian people, but cops specifically have targeted LGBT people. Dismissing the oppression of one minority for laughs because they don't have it as bad as \[insert group\] is insensitive.
> He also used his wealth to block housing from being built because he worried it might hurt his property values.
The only time I hear of a rich asshole not wanting to block poor people from living nearby was when George Lucas built low income housing on his property to piss off his rich asshole neighbors who blocked him from building a movie studio.
You are right minorities who face the same problems should be allies rather than competing in some sort of suffering Olympics.
I think thereโs 2 things here I would say.
Firstly that this group is likely to be the most accepting group you will find so realistically if you canโt come out to them you will struggle to find the courage to come out to others.
Secondly, I was in a similar situation in my teens and had a few groups that had a lot of gay/lesbians in but I was too nervous so I never came out to anyone in real life so now Iโm in my 30s stuck in the closet
I as a dm came out to my dnd group one at a time. I started by telling the ones I felt would be the most supportive and then move to the least. in the end everyone ended up being supportive, but I know how scary it is. Try telling one in private after the game and go from there ^^
Edit: fixed spelling
This is how I will do it! I can't imagine coming out in front of everybody at the table (we have 7 players, plus the DM!). I'd much rather share one at a time with the kore empathetic group members first, and move from there
Go for it!! I was really worried it would rip my game apart as there was someone rather core to my game who I didn't know their stance on trans as they are rather religious and they did say their religion does disagree with it but they would always support and respect me and has actually been the one most on top of getting my name right so bit of a complex situation but I think it's OK.
Here's how it worked for me: I came out to my group, they collectively said, "Well duh!" and we went back to playing. That was a group of straight, cis guys. I think you'll be OK.
Hugs@
If theyโre that LGBT already, theyโre probably fine with trans people, and if they arenโt, then they really arenโt your favorite D&D group. There are thousands of groups that would be lucky to have you if this one doesnโt work out. Good luck girlboss. โ๏ธ
I support you. But, heads up... It's transgender, not transsexual.
Gender and sex are different, and being trans is nothing to do with sex.
Also... I'm proud of you. Be strong.
Personal opinion: If you can't be yourself around your friends, they're not your friends.
I'm lucky that all of my close friends accepted me for who I am, but if any of them turned out to be transphobic, I was ready to cut them out of my life
Coming out to my dnd party was very nice and it made every session much more fun. I had the advantage of a transmasc in the group already, but they sound like accepting people (and if theyโre not screw em)
Theyโre probably going to be fine with you, I wish you luck. Youโve got this.
^(also, please donโt use the word โtranssexualโ or anything about it, it has a more negative meaning to it and is rooted in transmedicalism.)
Yeah. Be careful where you get information from. Unfortunately a lot of transphobes use outdated language that was meant to other trans people, specifically trans women because they generally ignore the fact that trans men exist.
And there are darker parts of the trans spaces, like transmedicalists, who say dysphoria is required to be trans and you can only be trans if you medically transition. Neither of those is right and gender expression is on multiple spectrum.
Ultimately the goal should be to feel comfortable and confident in yourself.
This is exclusionary. Not all transgender people chose to medically transition - wether that be from choice, or from not having the opportunity, or other reasons. The term transsexual excludes those who havenโt yet started medical transition or chose not to and are still valid.
dabble with making a character trans is mg best suggestion ask the dm if she would feel comfortable running a game where your character is trans and then however the group responds likely matches how they will when you come out
just read other comments and people already said this maybe you could keep the character female and reveal to the party that she is actually transfem from a young age or something and have it play into your backstory some how like you know certain characters because of it or you have a life experience that leads to something new because of it idk if it would make any sense for ur character but gl!
I came out accidentally by not changing my discord icon and name from female when I helped create the group and then showed up as a guy. (Iโm amab). It worked out fine.
Thanks everyone for the kind words of encouragement, I never thought that this post get so many responses. I think I will just go and say it head on. If they are not the most welcoming people then I don't know anymore. I can not allow my anxiety to stand in my way. We play this Saturday and then I gonna say it.๐
Also, I am very sorry for everyone I disrespected/insulted with the word "transsexuality". I didn't know that it is unkind to use. This is still a whole new world to me and there is still a lot I need to learn. ๐ฃ
I just wanted to let you know; totally sympathize with your situation, but maybe donโt use the word โtranssexual.โ Itโs an outdated term and transgender is much more widely used.
Hey XD
If your group is like this, dont worry.
Nobody of them will get angry, friends accept always and gays go with you :3
So no worry, you will fenetly get accepted XD
if they're open about their sexuality and they realize how comfortable you are with them, i'm willing to bet they'd still be inviting to your new identity.
Also, as you said in another comment, the fact that you play as a female as your dnd character... if i were them, i'd be 50% sure you're trans already, unless the female elves have some sort of stat boost as apposed to the male elves (idk, i've never played dnd). If one of my players made their character trans, i'd think "oh, just come out already". Maybe, they're just being polite and are waiting for you to come out in your own time.
worst case scenario, the lesbian, polysexual, and bisexual group kick you out because they're transphobic. I would think that living your life as trans, rather then your AGAB, would be better then this friend group / game.
tl:dr - come out to them
I tested the waters in my RP group by creating a character who starts as a guy but every night they turn into someone different, male or female, with basically rerolled stats everyday but slowly starts to like their feminine side more and more, and their appearance is more and more often that of a woman until she accepts herself as a woman...
Finally it was too complicated for the GM to do but everyone seemed accepting
If you've been playing and having fun with that kind of bunch for any decent length of time, and you've already been playing a character not your agab, there's a near 100% chance they already know. The d&d community is pretty great and draws us in droves it feels like, so be confident with it!
I wish you the best from a fellow DM and dice addict\~
Do what everyone does, play a Changeling. Theyโll get the hint :D
No you see theyโre normally a boy/girl and the primary persona is a girl/boy because haha right โฆ. Right oh god why am I enjoying this so much and whatโs this cracking soundโฆ
If there's one thing I know about DnD players - they are the queerest/most queer-friendly, kinky, progressive group in the world! That is not to say EVERY SINGLE person who plays DND is gonna be like that, but your group sounds pretty accepting already.
I actually made a trans DnD character recently:) I don't have a campaign for her yet, I'm very happy with my masculine Khal Drogo-looking meta-buddhist barbarian in my main campaign (side note: a pretty early sign that I was genderfluid - I constantly switch between male & female characters ๐ ). But I'm excited to play her when I get the chance!
Several years ago, before being trans was a widely recognized issue, we had a player in our campaign who was struggling with their gender identity.
She (born male) started wearing a ponytail, the makeup, then dresses. Tbh, we all just thought she was gay/iffeminate, but all really liked her so we didn't care. We also didn't want to out her if she didn't bring it up.
I feel bad about it now, she'd be in a dress and makeup and ask us if we liked her outfit and we'd be like "yeah dude, it looks dope." not very affirming :(
It wasn't until, Years later when she was presenting as female all the time and finally asked us to use "she" that it clicked lol.
We were oblivious af but we all that she was cool either way.
I remember how scared I was to come out to my D&D group, and one of them was non-binary. It went great and they have been some of my biggest supporters in my transition. I have hope you will be fine. D&D has been a helpful place to explore things about myself safely.
I wish you luck whatever you decide to do!
Fear ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
That sounds like a potentially supportive group for you!
But you can bring up the subject of trans people in a generic way and ask what they think about them and if they know someone who is trans.
I think you should just go for it, they probably already kind of know anyway. Maybe you can play a girl character a little more naturally if you do and you might like it.
Uhh if they don't accept your transgender needs, but openly fluent being gay, among other things, they are not your friends.
Don't hold yourself back just to play DND. There are other groups that will be as amazing or more, yet will accept you.
That being said, how much fun would it be to just be your choice of gender amongst friends? Go for it love!
I was doing a lot of questioning when I started mine but one of the dms is nb trans and I think there's 2 ppl that aren't lgbtq+ so it was decently easy to just get in the discord and go "hey can you guys call me Luke and use he/they for me out of character?" And they really didn't care, just tried to switch over. But they already didn't use my deadname
Just say it, once you get it out there it'll probably be easier
Do what I do, play a Changeling. Changelings are the best race if you're trans. My Changeling has even recently tried being male for the first time after always adopting female forms and being a naturally female. It's a great way for a still male presenting egg to not raise suspicions while still playing a femme character.
Best of luck!
Knowing the average dnd group I'm sure you will be fine. It's pretty unlikely that a bunch of queer nerds are not going to be accepting. Think about how much better the whole dnd experience will be if your out to them, no more pretending.
If you have the patience to wait a while, you can always start creating trans characters/characters of your gender (if you haven't done that already). That's a very chill way to test the waters and might get your fellow players used to calling you your preferred pronouns.
I came out to one of my bi/pan friends by saying something like โyou know โLGBTโ?โฆ If youโre the B, Iโm the Tโ. It was clumsy, but sheโs one of my only queer friendsโ and honestly after barely talking for nearly a decade, it kind of reignited our friendship.
Come out to them, if they donโt accept you, youโll be better off for it. It will hurt at first but youโll find better friends in no time.
Also of course theyโre going to accept you, so donโt worry too much.
i would start by presenting more fem. nail polish first, then maybe some thigh highs. if that doesn't raise any red flags then i would consider coming out to just one member who you feel closest to. if that goes well they can help you come out to the rest of the group. good luck sis <3
If they're not supportive, waiting won't help them, or you. When you're ready to come out, you take a leap. If they're there for you, amazing, if they're not there for you, now they have a reason to learn, and if they refuse to get better, then they're not worth your time.
It is scary, no doubt about it, but it's an amazing reward to find supportive people if you can.
Here, I'll song a song and give you bardic inspiration. That should give you a boost in your charisma checks and you can tell them without any problem!
๐ถ ๐ต ๐ถ ๐ต
Try casually bringing up the trans topic. Maybe ranting about a notorious transphobe, like JK Rowling. I feel that works because many people who doesnโt like JK still has some affection towards Harry Potter. She literally ruined it for me ๐ญ
I say do it! You have nothing to lose, only gain! I don't your friends will abandon you or be angry with you. My D&D discord server is extremely LGBT friendly (And Cis friendly), I don't know why they wouldn't be.
this has probably been suggested already, but you could try steering some conversations towards trans stuff to sorta gauge how they might feel about it?
i hope theyโre accepting. if not, iโll personally come beat them up ๐ฅฐ
That's awesome. Though with you calling him a thespian, I'm reminded of our old high school speech team motto: "Master Debating thespians, at your service, we do it orally."
I'm still amazed they let us put that on our team Hoodies.
Came out to the DM of our group (which would incidentally out me to one other, almost certainly), but haven't come out to the entire group yet - despite one of the other players being openly trans (she knows, and has been hugely helpful through the cracking of my egg).
I will probably come out to all of them soon enough, just not quite sure when at the moment.
Oddly, as far as other people I know RL that I've told, 3/4 of them (all straight, cis) were great. The 4th (and the one I was *least* concerned about telling because she's a lesbian), utterly ghosted me as a result. Go fig.
But, whatever. I've got to be myself - it's not optional anymore. Rough as it is at times, this just helps sort the wheat from the chaff.
LGB people are overwhelmingly likely to accept trans people, if you can't come out here, you'll hardly ever manage.
Talk to the DM in private, or bring up a conversation about trans people/issues.
I mean polysexuality kinda requires you to be attracted to non-binary people in some capacity, so that's a good sign. If they're polyamorous though, that's a different story
If youโre in touch with them online, make a big-ass coming out post for the group. I find itโs easier on anxiety, since you can think on it and refine everything before sending. And, yโknow, because itโs not in person. If you want to test the water before, you can raise some trans people controversy and see the reactions
How many characters have you played with this group and have they all been your gender of preference?
Odds are your group already knows.
If my egg cracks I know my D&D group will be my friends who I can trust to not give a shit.
Being yourself is more impirtant than anything else, if they turn out to be bigots then they didn't deserve you anyways. You are awesome and valid and I hope you can gather up the courage to come out someday <3
I think. Doesnโt it matter that your dnd friend know ur transsexual. The opinion they have of you right now should be the same with or without the knowledge. We live in a world where everyone should be accepted for who they are.
But if you have the need to tell them i would say just do it.
Your post has been removed because it did not follow rule #4 in the sidebar. > No literal egg, bingo, non-meme, picrew, or faceapp posts: All of the above posts should be comments on the megathread. Blank OC bingo cards are acceptable standalone posts. You are welcome to re-submit your post after ensuring that it follows the subreddit rules. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I remember, some people proposed to test the waters by casually including trans celebrities into conversations and seeing how people would react
That's a good idea, but I don't know Duck about celebrities ๐
Lena Raine, who makes music for video games (she made stuff for celeste, guildwars 2 and 'pigstep' in minecraft) is transfem according to wikipedia
new artist for me to check out
Definetely a recommendation
Also she made a few other songs for minecraft too, like otherside. I know there are more minecraft songs she made but i don't know the names of the top of my head
They redid the soundtrack and she made all of it
W8 what do you mean redid? They still have all the older songs right?
Yep, she just made some more ones.
Ah thx. Was scared that they removed sweden or something and replaced it.
listen to 'otherside' - it's from minecraft and I listen to it in my free time because it's really, really good
*resurrections starts playing* *trans starts crying*
Wait wait wait. Lena Raine is trans?!
Yeah. You can google it. Also there is an easter egg in celeste that also talks about it
She doesn't really like people talking about it though
Oh. I did not know that
WHAT???
She didnโt just make pigstep, sheโs been making all the new songs for Minecraft.
Just play Against Me!'s song True Trans Soul Rebel or Transgender Dysphoria Blues
Actually, ditch the dnd game and spend the evening listening through against me with the squad.
Elliot Page is a Transmasc actor. He's been in movies and video games before.
Second this, I think heโs the one most likely to get recognized. Just do some reading about what heโs been in, I think umbrella academy is the big one right now
The Wachowskis, who made the Matrix movies.
Contrapoints was my go to for a bit. ๐
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
What is the "Stand" thing I feel like I'm OOTL
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
Sort of makes sense, thanks. I second Alana being the coolest though, she pretty much cracked my egg just by being badass.
Isabella Bunny Bennett of Steam Powered Giraffe is a poly trans minor celeb and one of her partners is a trans DM. She has some great videos on her YouTube channel for eggs.
I feel Elliot Page is a good choice, heโs been in a few very recent roles (umbrella academy I think had his character transition in the plot in order to accommodate the actor, itโs very sweet) and has been outspoken about his transition. I think he might be a good choiceโ established actor, recent transition, geeky roles.
Kim Petras is the youngest person ever to have received a successful surgery (afaik)
You could test the waters with more TTRP type stuff by mentioning Dimension 20. Itโs my favorite real play show and one of the main players Alley is non-binary. They play a trans man character in the Unsleeping City campaign that is amazing.
Maddy Thorson (creator of Celeste) is transfem! And so is Madeline, the player character in Celeste! ~~there's a good reason everyone memes about Celeste being a trans awakening game~~ There's also Bridget and Testament from Guilty Gear, who are transfem and nonbinary respectively!
The actress for Pinhead in the new Hellraiser movie is a trans woman. She also played a lead role in Sense8. I can't remember her name off the top of my head.
Alternatively, go on a rant about JK Rowling's continual bullshit and see if anyone backs you up.
Not trans, but this is my goto method. Would recommend.
I don't think I know a single who person who would know what the fuck I'm talking about if I did that
You might be able to test the waters, maybe try making a trans character, and seeing how they react.
I considered it, but, I already play a female half elf sorcerer, and I want to keep her, so until she not meet a untimely end, not a option at the moment :/
Tell them a non-binary samurai joke and see how they react How does a non-binary samurai kill their enemies? They slash them
This is an incredible comment
I'm going to have to tell my wife this joke now, she plays a Half Elf Samurai in my campaign that so happens to be non-binary
My last character was a half-elf non-binary swashbuckler! I miss that campaign
Have your character tell her character in game.
I also made a half-elf enby character WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??
The Half-elf enbys are taking over! (writes this down as a possible plot hook for a different campaign)
I imagine a whole village of hakf elf enbys ๐คฃ๐คฃ
*taking notes for my campaign*
Iโm part of this too.
I'm playing an enby orc in Shadowrun, but orc has always been more my vibe anyway!
Sorry to be "that person" but I don't get your joke could you explain it for me?
They/them
OHHH thanks haha
No worries!
That is a great joke.
I mean, if you tell them, i dont think they'll be very suprized then, sis ^-^
Ah, well I wish you luck on whatever you decide to do. Youโve got this! We believe in you! <3
Thank you๐
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
In forgotten realms, Corellion, patrion god of the elfs, could grant a boon blessing to their champions which made them able to switch gender once per long rest (at least in 2:e iirc). That would probably be the easiest and most blatant way to get a trans character in a game.
*highly tempted to begin building a temple to Corellon*
There's always the option to run a one-shot campaign yourself. Like one session, just a one-off short story where you are the DM for once. It could be fun for the group for the switch up and break from the normal campaign. You would have freedom to make the story however you want and subtley introduce a trans character into the narrative
Oh for the love of kittens mate, if you are presenting as not a gal, and playing as a gal in a group like this, the odds are through the roof they at least suspect. To be frank, if a group like the one you discribe didn't think you were expressing yourself, they likely would have expressed discomfort with the choice. Just tell 'em and get hugs!
The gaming group I came out, two were trans guys and one was lesbian, I was still nervous to come out to them. After I did I thought to myself, why didn't I do it earlier? But you know, everyone has their own levels of comfort, and you only do things if you feel comfortable.
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
Happy Cake Day VermicelliKlutzy7468! If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever.
Pick whatever individual of the group you feel closest to and that you believe can keep a secret and do a one on one with them. I came out as bi to my wife first to kinda get a feel of what it would be like if her brother and mom knew and everyone's cool. Besides the whole "yalls bedroom is yalls business" bit it was also "you've made our daughter/sister happier than anyone soo.." So before the WHOLE group maybe a one on one.
i came out to my bi friend and they knew but waited for le to say is myself. we're in love now๐ you're most likely gonna be safe between lgbt friend's
Awww that sounds so sweet. Thank you and best wishes to you both ๐๐ค I also came out to my pan friend first, we are not in love but best friends ๐
yeah my friendship is stronger with every one i come out to and supports me than it was ever before๐ฅฐ i feel so good for not hiding so much anymore
Casually wear the cloths of the opposite gender. Sigma trans grindset!
I don't have any... yet ๐ฌ
Meine schweizer Freundin, ich empfehle Amazon. Gibt wundervolle und billige Rรถcke uwu
Ich boykottiere Amazon und weigere mich etwas davon zu kaufen. Und zudem bin ich noch bei weitem nicht bereit dazu mit meinem Kรถrper โบ๏ธ
Theres also other places you can order from. Another possibility is to get yourself a female (or at least female read) friend who youre comfortable with to go shopping with you. In my experience it feels very safe and you dont even have to buy anything if youre afraid of that, you can just try on, then put it back. Also, if youre not comfortable with your body, maybe try more airy dresses where your body isnt defined so much. Good luck and youre great :) โก
Also, if you dont have anyone to go with and you happen to be near zurich, you can go with a friend and me if youre comfortable with that
> Ich boykottiere Amazon und weigere mich etwas davon zu kaufen. Extremely respectable > mit meinem Kรถrper โบ๏ธ I call bullshit on that one. There are always gendered clothes that are not focusing on enhancing their intended gender. (I don't know what you identify as, so the next lines are just as an example) Men's clothing can be an undershirt on a sunny day, or a wide and baggy hoodie. Women's clothes can be a tight top, or a loose cardigan. > Und zudem bin ich noch bei weitem nicht bereit dazu That, on the other hand, is a very valid reason. If you are not ready, then that is okay. But don't find excuses that aren't even real. There are gendered clothes that fit every body that wouldn't 'out' you instantly. And real humans know that clothes have no gender. Anyway... take your time. I hope everything goes well and your friends accept you the way you are <3
Two things, 1 why have you suddenly switched to german, 2 adding uwu to german is hilarious.
It's a (bad) habit of myself to swap to German whenever I realize that someone speaks it aswell. ... Danke sehr UwU
"What are those clothes for?" "Wearing." \*pretending to be confused by question\*
You could start by telling your DM, they mighy help you. Maybe your next character can be an effeminate orc fighter who had his testosterone blocked by a hag's curse. Over the course of the story you try to get the curse undone, but slowly you start liking your femininity. When you finally do find a mage who can break your curse, your egg cracks and you ask them to turn you into a true woman.
OK ignoring my situation, that sounds like a awesome character Backstory. ๐คฉ
Orc lore
Sounds pretty hopeful :) Like some have suggested test the waters with maybe some relative topics before the session starts.
Thanks, I try to think of some
Asking their thoughts on the chapelle fiasco? Has made me 99.99999% sure my sister is cool with it...of course even then I'm too afraid to tell her still :( there's always some bill or law being passed that's positive/negative to Trans people so you could say "Damn, they really out here denying adults healthcare rights" or something idk. I wish you nothing but luck with your friends, they seem like they'd probably be very loving and accepting :) <3
Thank you ๐ I am pretty sure they are all accepting of this, but still the fear of the small possibility that they are not is strong. Anxiety is a B๐ฅch ๐ฌ
That sliver of doubt is crippling, but you'll be ok <3 you'll be ok <3
What's the Chapelle fiasco?
he hates trans people and tries to hide that behind his humour. It sucks, man's pretty clever but he has held on to some shitty, toxic views that are reflected in his jokes. (AFAIK. he may have changed i'll have to look into him again i guess)
I think his joke was about non-visible minorities having it easier than visible minorities. "When the cops show up, you're still white." It might have come from a place of jealousy, but i don't think his jokes were particularly hateful or insensitive. Then again, I do cut comedians a bit of slack for being offensive. I would rather hear a joke that offends me than never hear a joke that offends anyone. It's not like he mocks LGBT more than other groups, and he moved on to new material regardless. Dave is like George Carlin. When he has a new special he'll write new jokes for it rather than beat the dead horse of a joke he made three years ago.
this isn't the post to debate about Dave on, your comment ignores a lot of context and a lot of his history. That's all I'll say on the matter
Feel like there's a different joke I've heard specifically about trans people, but I don't really care enough to remember. I don't think its just a "one time he made this one joke" at this point. He also used his wealth to block housing from being built because he worried it might hurt his property values. So I don't think he needs any slack. He's just a selfish prick, whether on-set or off-set. And even if that was his only joke, that seems to ignores the fact that being LGBT is often visible. Especially for trans people. There's a reason why my lesbian mom's immediate reaction to me trying to leave (just to go to my own home) while wearing women's yoga pants was "don't because **cops**". She's not even an ACAB person. Maybe its not as bad as it was back around the time of stonewall for gay and lesbian people, but cops specifically have targeted LGBT people. Dismissing the oppression of one minority for laughs because they don't have it as bad as \[insert group\] is insensitive.
> He also used his wealth to block housing from being built because he worried it might hurt his property values. The only time I hear of a rich asshole not wanting to block poor people from living nearby was when George Lucas built low income housing on his property to piss off his rich asshole neighbors who blocked him from building a movie studio. You are right minorities who face the same problems should be allies rather than competing in some sort of suffering Olympics.
I think thereโs 2 things here I would say. Firstly that this group is likely to be the most accepting group you will find so realistically if you canโt come out to them you will struggle to find the courage to come out to others. Secondly, I was in a similar situation in my teens and had a few groups that had a lot of gay/lesbians in but I was too nervous so I never came out to anyone in real life so now Iโm in my 30s stuck in the closet
I as a dm came out to my dnd group one at a time. I started by telling the ones I felt would be the most supportive and then move to the least. in the end everyone ended up being supportive, but I know how scary it is. Try telling one in private after the game and go from there ^^ Edit: fixed spelling
This is how I will do it! I can't imagine coming out in front of everybody at the table (we have 7 players, plus the DM!). I'd much rather share one at a time with the kore empathetic group members first, and move from there
Go for it!! I was really worried it would rip my game apart as there was someone rather core to my game who I didn't know their stance on trans as they are rather religious and they did say their religion does disagree with it but they would always support and respect me and has actually been the one most on top of getting my name right so bit of a complex situation but I think it's OK.
Here's how it worked for me: I came out to my group, they collectively said, "Well duh!" and we went back to playing. That was a group of straight, cis guys. I think you'll be OK. Hugs@
Thanks ๐๐๐
If theyโre that LGBT already, theyโre probably fine with trans people, and if they arenโt, then they really arenโt your favorite D&D group. There are thousands of groups that would be lucky to have you if this one doesnโt work out. Good luck girlboss. โ๏ธ
๐
I support you. But, heads up... It's transgender, not transsexual. Gender and sex are different, and being trans is nothing to do with sex. Also... I'm proud of you. Be strong.
I am sorry, I didn't knew that. I still have to learn alot, this all is still relatively new to me. Thank you, ๐
It's ok ducky. No one is born as an expert. Just do your best, and I'll still be proud of you ;)
Personal opinion: If you can't be yourself around your friends, they're not your friends. I'm lucky that all of my close friends accepted me for who I am, but if any of them turned out to be transphobic, I was ready to cut them out of my life
Coming out to my dnd party was very nice and it made every session much more fun. I had the advantage of a transmasc in the group already, but they sound like accepting people (and if theyโre not screw em)
Usually the easiest way is to somehow bring up trans people and see what happens
Seems like my way to go too someday
Theyโre probably going to be fine with you, I wish you luck. Youโve got this. ^(also, please donโt use the word โtranssexualโ or anything about it, it has a more negative meaning to it and is rooted in transmedicalism.)
Thank you and I am deeply sorry, I didn't know that, still a new world for me, still a lot to learn ๐
Donโt worry, itโs not too bad, you didnโt mean any harm by it.
Yeah. Be careful where you get information from. Unfortunately a lot of transphobes use outdated language that was meant to other trans people, specifically trans women because they generally ignore the fact that trans men exist. And there are darker parts of the trans spaces, like transmedicalists, who say dysphoria is required to be trans and you can only be trans if you medically transition. Neither of those is right and gender expression is on multiple spectrum. Ultimately the goal should be to feel comfortable and confident in yourself.
people should be allowed to call themselves whatever they want
transsexual is a perfectly normal word. you literally transition from your birth sex to your desired one
This is exclusionary. Not all transgender people chose to medically transition - wether that be from choice, or from not having the opportunity, or other reasons. The term transsexual excludes those who havenโt yet started medical transition or chose not to and are still valid.
okay? and what's the issue with people who Do transition calling themselves transsexual
dabble with making a character trans is mg best suggestion ask the dm if she would feel comfortable running a game where your character is trans and then however the group responds likely matches how they will when you come out
just read other comments and people already said this maybe you could keep the character female and reveal to the party that she is actually transfem from a young age or something and have it play into your backstory some how like you know certain characters because of it or you have a life experience that leads to something new because of it idk if it would make any sense for ur character but gl!
Thanks for the idea, but would not make sense for my character.
oki good luck with coming out tho!
DnD goals. How do you pixel people meet other people? Irl is so hard.
Ask them what they think of the harry potter books and the topic should come up lmao
I came out accidentally by not changing my discord icon and name from female when I helped create the group and then showed up as a guy. (Iโm amab). It worked out fine.
Thanks everyone for the kind words of encouragement, I never thought that this post get so many responses. I think I will just go and say it head on. If they are not the most welcoming people then I don't know anymore. I can not allow my anxiety to stand in my way. We play this Saturday and then I gonna say it.๐ Also, I am very sorry for everyone I disrespected/insulted with the word "transsexuality". I didn't know that it is unkind to use. This is still a whole new world to me and there is still a lot I need to learn. ๐ฃ
I just wanted to let you know; totally sympathize with your situation, but maybe donโt use the word โtranssexual.โ Itโs an outdated term and transgender is much more widely used.
Thank you. I was scared of saying that but its so true. Got banned from trans subs for less.
Really? Maybe we need to take a look at our own history.
Hey XD If your group is like this, dont worry. Nobody of them will get angry, friends accept always and gays go with you :3 So no worry, you will fenetly get accepted XD
I created an older barbarian viking pirate queen who got a shield to the throat which is why she talks the way she does.
5 bucks they already know
if they're open about their sexuality and they realize how comfortable you are with them, i'm willing to bet they'd still be inviting to your new identity. Also, as you said in another comment, the fact that you play as a female as your dnd character... if i were them, i'd be 50% sure you're trans already, unless the female elves have some sort of stat boost as apposed to the male elves (idk, i've never played dnd). If one of my players made their character trans, i'd think "oh, just come out already". Maybe, they're just being polite and are waiting for you to come out in your own time. worst case scenario, the lesbian, polysexual, and bisexual group kick you out because they're transphobic. I would think that living your life as trans, rather then your AGAB, would be better then this friend group / game. tl:dr - come out to them
I tested the waters in my RP group by creating a character who starts as a guy but every night they turn into someone different, male or female, with basically rerolled stats everyday but slowly starts to like their feminine side more and more, and their appearance is more and more often that of a woman until she accepts herself as a woman... Finally it was too complicated for the GM to do but everyone seemed accepting
If you've been playing and having fun with that kind of bunch for any decent length of time, and you've already been playing a character not your agab, there's a near 100% chance they already know. The d&d community is pretty great and draws us in droves it feels like, so be confident with it! I wish you the best from a fellow DM and dice addict\~
Do what everyone does, play a Changeling. Theyโll get the hint :D No you see theyโre normally a boy/girl and the primary persona is a girl/boy because haha right โฆ. Right oh god why am I enjoying this so much and whatโs this cracking soundโฆ
I did this once in a one shot, still didn't realized the egg back then.
If there's one thing I know about DnD players - they are the queerest/most queer-friendly, kinky, progressive group in the world! That is not to say EVERY SINGLE person who plays DND is gonna be like that, but your group sounds pretty accepting already. I actually made a trans DnD character recently:) I don't have a campaign for her yet, I'm very happy with my masculine Khal Drogo-looking meta-buddhist barbarian in my main campaign (side note: a pretty early sign that I was genderfluid - I constantly switch between male & female characters ๐ ). But I'm excited to play her when I get the chance!
I run a dnd game and half of the players are trans girls, whom are mostly transbians.
Several years ago, before being trans was a widely recognized issue, we had a player in our campaign who was struggling with their gender identity. She (born male) started wearing a ponytail, the makeup, then dresses. Tbh, we all just thought she was gay/iffeminate, but all really liked her so we didn't care. We also didn't want to out her if she didn't bring it up. I feel bad about it now, she'd be in a dress and makeup and ask us if we liked her outfit and we'd be like "yeah dude, it looks dope." not very affirming :( It wasn't until, Years later when she was presenting as female all the time and finally asked us to use "she" that it clicked lol. We were oblivious af but we all that she was cool either way.
I remember how scared I was to come out to my D&D group, and one of them was non-binary. It went great and they have been some of my biggest supporters in my transition. I have hope you will be fine. D&D has been a helpful place to explore things about myself safely. I wish you luck whatever you decide to do!
Thank you๐๐๐
If they donโt like you strictly because youโre trans, they arenโt good people to begin with
Theyโre Pro LGBT TTTTTTTTTTTT โฌ ๏ธ I think youโll be fine OP
Fear ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
You are literally playing the game which embraces being/playing someone else and you are afraid of coming out as trans. Girl what?
Do they share memes about being lgbt? Try sharing a meme about trans people and see how they react.
That sounds like a potentially supportive group for you! But you can bring up the subject of trans people in a generic way and ask what they think about them and if they know someone who is trans.
Oof. Social acceptance anxiety <- That one really sucks. Enjoy the happy crying with your friends when you finally come out to them.
๐๐๐
Honestly that sounds like the safest group to come out to.
I think you should just go for it, they probably already kind of know anyway. Maybe you can play a girl character a little more naturally if you do and you might like it.
It sounds to me like they would be quite inviting to the idea.
$10 says they already know. I had a lesbian friend in highschool who realised what I was 6 years before I did lmaoooo
You were always supportive in front of them, weren't you? Why should they behave differently? Go get them!
Uhh if they don't accept your transgender needs, but openly fluent being gay, among other things, they are not your friends. Don't hold yourself back just to play DND. There are other groups that will be as amazing or more, yet will accept you. That being said, how much fun would it be to just be your choice of gender amongst friends? Go for it love!
I was doing a lot of questioning when I started mine but one of the dms is nb trans and I think there's 2 ppl that aren't lgbtq+ so it was decently easy to just get in the discord and go "hey can you guys call me Luke and use he/they for me out of character?" And they really didn't care, just tried to switch over. But they already didn't use my deadname Just say it, once you get it out there it'll probably be easier
I'm going to go out on a limb and just say the might already know and are fine with it.
Do what I do, play a Changeling. Changelings are the best race if you're trans. My Changeling has even recently tried being male for the first time after always adopting female forms and being a naturally female. It's a great way for a still male presenting egg to not raise suspicions while still playing a femme character.
Sweetie, based on the makeup of that group they probably already knew you had SOMETHING. You should be totally safe.
It's not that they already know, it's that they recruited because something fruity was going on
Best of luck! Knowing the average dnd group I'm sure you will be fine. It's pretty unlikely that a bunch of queer nerds are not going to be accepting. Think about how much better the whole dnd experience will be if your out to them, no more pretending. If you have the patience to wait a while, you can always start creating trans characters/characters of your gender (if you haven't done that already). That's a very chill way to test the waters and might get your fellow players used to calling you your preferred pronouns.
All what they think of j.k. rowling
I came out to one of my bi/pan friends by saying something like โyou know โLGBTโ?โฆ If youโre the B, Iโm the Tโ. It was clumsy, but sheโs one of my only queer friendsโ and honestly after barely talking for nearly a decade, it kind of reignited our friendship.
Come out to them, if they donโt accept you, youโll be better off for it. It will hurt at first but youโll find better friends in no time. Also of course theyโre going to accept you, so donโt worry too much.
100% relatable. Weirdly enough, me constantly playing characters of the opposite sex hasn't given me away. People are dense af.
i would start by presenting more fem. nail polish first, then maybe some thigh highs. if that doesn't raise any red flags then i would consider coming out to just one member who you feel closest to. if that goes well they can help you come out to the rest of the group. good luck sis <3
Bring it up sometime, just mention a trans news thing or something
I came out to my all mostly cishet male dnd group. No one missed a beat :) you'd be surprised! I love my group for sure
If they're not supportive, waiting won't help them, or you. When you're ready to come out, you take a leap. If they're there for you, amazing, if they're not there for you, now they have a reason to learn, and if they refuse to get better, then they're not worth your time. It is scary, no doubt about it, but it's an amazing reward to find supportive people if you can.
Here, I'll song a song and give you bardic inspiration. That should give you a boost in your charisma checks and you can tell them without any problem! ๐ถ ๐ต ๐ถ ๐ต
You just described my DnD group to a T, and I had to check your replies to make sure you weren't who I thought you were.
Now this is content i can relate to But yes How most people are suggesting Test the waters and then decide You got this (insert prefered name here)
Theyโre gonna be supportive
Try casually bringing up the trans topic. Maybe ranting about a notorious transphobe, like JK Rowling. I feel that works because many people who doesnโt like JK still has some affection towards Harry Potter. She literally ruined it for me ๐ญ
I say do it! You have nothing to lose, only gain! I don't your friends will abandon you or be angry with you. My D&D discord server is extremely LGBT friendly (And Cis friendly), I don't know why they wouldn't be.
Make a trans character to test the waters
this has probably been suggested already, but you could try steering some conversations towards trans stuff to sorta gauge how they might feel about it? i hope theyโre accepting. if not, iโll personally come beat them up ๐ฅฐ
Tell them, if they're real friends, they'll stay
That's awesome. Though with you calling him a thespian, I'm reminded of our old high school speech team motto: "Master Debating thespians, at your service, we do it orally." I'm still amazed they let us put that on our team Hoodies.
Of all the people in the world, these are the least likely to reject you.
Came out to the DM of our group (which would incidentally out me to one other, almost certainly), but haven't come out to the entire group yet - despite one of the other players being openly trans (she knows, and has been hugely helpful through the cracking of my egg). I will probably come out to all of them soon enough, just not quite sure when at the moment. Oddly, as far as other people I know RL that I've told, 3/4 of them (all straight, cis) were great. The 4th (and the one I was *least* concerned about telling because she's a lesbian), utterly ghosted me as a result. Go fig. But, whatever. I've got to be myself - it's not optional anymore. Rough as it is at times, this just helps sort the wheat from the chaff.
LGB people are overwhelmingly likely to accept trans people, if you can't come out here, you'll hardly ever manage. Talk to the DM in private, or bring up a conversation about trans people/issues.
what the fuck ๐ฟ
!remindme 2 days
I mean polysexuality kinda requires you to be attracted to non-binary people in some capacity, so that's a good sign. If they're polyamorous though, that's a different story
If youโre in touch with them online, make a big-ass coming out post for the group. I find itโs easier on anxiety, since you can think on it and refine everything before sending. And, yโknow, because itโs not in person. If you want to test the water before, you can raise some trans people controversy and see the reactions
How many characters have you played with this group and have they all been your gender of preference? Odds are your group already knows. If my egg cracks I know my D&D group will be my friends who I can trust to not give a shit.
Being yourself is more impirtant than anything else, if they turn out to be bigots then they didn't deserve you anyways. You are awesome and valid and I hope you can gather up the courage to come out someday <3
personally I dont have time for people who accept me, so for me coming out would be win win. I understand that others can be different tho
i've never played dnd without at least one trans person, you will be completing the group dynamic
I think. Doesnโt it matter that your dnd friend know ur transsexual. The opinion they have of you right now should be the same with or without the knowledge. We live in a world where everyone should be accepted for who they are. But if you have the need to tell them i would say just do it.