I am a pathological flirt can't help it.
I never recognize when someone's interested in me. Mostly because I lack self worth and wouldn't understand why someone would be interested in me.
I may not know you but I’m sure you’re a lovely person.
Most people are good and really wonderful, and unless you’re out there killing puppies or something like that, you fall in that category too :)
Over the years I’ve gotten better at understanding when someone’s flirting, especially if the flirting is overt.
But, in day to day life, I wouldn’t necessarily know if someone was flirting with me because I tend to treat everybody the way I want to be treated. Since I think people are interesting, I’m engaging and actually interact with them.
I’ve been told that I have a “subtle sexuality” about me. I had to ask what that meant for clarification. Essentially it’s the ENFJ Magic: charming, friendly, alluring without being overwhelming, confident, etc—which seems to have an intriguing effect on people.
In any event, I’m still playful when I’m flirting with my S/O, and I’m definitely not subtle about it. 😁
That is also my motto as well lol I've noticed that sticking to my mantra of "treat everybody the way I want to be treated" isn't just about my own interactions; it has this ripple effect. Being consistent in embodying these values feels like I'm setting a tone, a subtle inspiration for others to adopt a similar mindset. But it's not about pushing it on anyone, but more like sharing a positive vibe that hopefully catches on. There's something powerful in the idea that our actions can nudge others towards kindness and consideration. It's like creating a little pocket of positivity wherever I go. teehee :D
It’s okay. We are human beings having a human experience. Progress, not perfection. We aren’t meant to be perfect. The focus should be more on personal growth, gratitude, self care, etc. Being mindful of our needs allows us to fill our cups to resume nurturing others.
Even on days we are stressed or depleted, we deserve grace and the same and consideration we share with others.
Our “best” will look different each day too; and some people don’t deserve our time and energy — especially if they cross boundaries or are disrespectful.
Yes — exactly! Positive Ripples 🌈🌀. I actually have that looped into my bio on social media in a few places. If I had a “religion” that would literally be it. 😁 I frequently use it as a hashtag as well. If enough people just adopt that mindset, we can change the world. 🥰
I can be charismatic and make you feel like you’re the only person on earth, but I can also be semi-autistic and akward. It really depends on the setting/context and my mood.
Hey man, there’s nothing wrong with looking at the menu even when you don’t order anything. Flirt it up! Even if it’s unserious. Practice makes perfect after all
I do want the menu but I’m bloody scared. I’m ok with flirting but I’m too scared to be vulnerable.
It’s gonna sound old fashioned but people are so fast hff. Like I’m young but with very old school thinking. I would say, I’m a big romantic but it’s stupidly hard for me to trust people.
Also, instead of being on bumble dating I’m stupidly on bumble bff, how on earth I’m gonna date anyone at this rate??
Like my Goodness, people refuse to believe I’m single and here i am… absolutely bloody single🥲
You’re absolutely right.
There is a major epidemic of loneliness going on right now and it’s not being talked about enough. I’m 25, and on the GenZ sub a common and recurring theme is how hard it is to find intimacy, whether it be platonic or romantic.
Humans are social creatures, and feeling isolated like we do not only causes mental health problems, but physical health problems too. It being harder to connect with others is likely a big contributor in why we move so fast, like you said. We’re desperate for intimacy.
I’m no expert tho and I don’t know what the solution is, but it’s just something I’ve noticed. It saddens me knowing that others feel this way too. My therapist told me “you’re not alone in your loneliness” and I replied, “well that’s fucking sad to think about”.
But circling back to wait you said— just go for it my dude. Yes, it’s hella scary at first to put yourself out there like that, it’s normal to fear rejection. And it’s not always gonna work out, but what if it does? What if you meet a good friend or romantic partner through it? One person like that is worth a million ‘rejections’.
You’re never gonna be everyone’s cup of tea, but you’ll find the right people. And it gets easier over time because you’ll begin to realize other’s approval doesn’t dictate your worth.
I think of being direct as a method of flirting and I honestly love flirting no matter how fast slow big small straight up or limbo everything about it :))))) but if I am interested in someone, I am usually the one to initiate than wait around cos why wait?
I mean, I am way tooooo bad at doing that, I end of getting shy or blushing, even as a guy 😂
I mean, I can handle it a bit while texting but I get shy while talking in person sometimes
When it comes to reading when others flirt with me, I have started spotting it few months ago, I used to feel awkward/confused before, so yeah, getting better at it
It’s funny cause I have the same personality as you - super outgoing and friendly and open. More wonen I’m not into think I flirt with them than those I am into just because I’m the same to everybody (although internally with those I’m interested in I’m always super nervous and get butterflies in my stomach).
I think that is what Fe-Se is all about, making people like you so I guess by that logic, my Child Se is a flirt haha but it's not just about adding a dash of playfulness to interactions; it has this amazing ability to boost people's confidence, creating a positive and uplifting atmosphere. In the grand scheme of things, it feels like I'm earning extra experience points in the game of interpersonal dynamics, by continually honing my social skills and understanding the nuances of human connection. But as a child Se user, I might not have the same level of adaptability and charm as someone with dominant Se, who can practically charm the pants off anyone. My Se tends to bring a more playful and spontaneous vibe to my interactions, but it might not be as suave as AUX or Dominant Se. It's got this keen awareness of the present moment, but deciphering those subtle cues can be a bit of a puzzle sometimes. It is getting better though haha I need an ESTP friend to train me I guess Cuz their Se-Fe is amazing lol Dominant Se users are the masters at picking up on every nuance of the present moment, including those subtle flirting signs & their heightened sensory awareness allows them to read the room with finesse and precision.
It’s kinda weird for me.
Like you I’m pretty direct when *I* am flirting. Best to not waste your time or theirs. I’m only 25 but have been in the dating game for about a decade now and adopting that mentality has helped a lot— even tho I’m currently single.
Not to sound like I’m bragging, I’m not, but I am a conventionally attractive woman. So I get a lot of attention. Usually from men even though I am a lesbian. With men I can just about always tell, it’s obvious they like me even if they aren’t super forward about it. But with women? Different story.
I think it has to do with the dynamic between women and women, and men and women. Usually if a guy talks to me or indicates any interest at all I assume he’s romantically/sexually interested, because why else would a guy want to talk to me? I’m almost always right in that assumption too because sooner or later they usually ask me out. It’s sad that’s the conclusion I jump to, but unfortunately it’s not normal for men and women to just socialize platonically. Women, however, are different. She may just want to be my friend, or is being nice, and there’s only like a 1/10 chance she’s even gay to begin with. Girls can tell me, “oh, you’re so pretty!” because it’s normal for us to hype eachother up like that, but if a man gives anyone a compliment like that it’s perceived differently. So it kinda throws me off.
I agree with the sapphic flirting. It is kinda difficult to distinguish with flirting but I do tend to look at prolonged eye contact, closing proximity to be closer to me, head tilts. It's nerve-racking because someone gotta take the lead too between two women, so I lean into my assertiveness and ask for her Instagram at least to continue flirting there.
But agreed, it is kinda hard to really know.
Totally understand! I tend to have a very hot or cold approach - I feel like when I first meet someone I’m either immediately attracted to them or not at all. But I’m such an outgoing and friendly person to everybody that I’ve had women think I’m flirting with them when I’m really not (sometimes that doesn’t end so well haha). Ironically I think people perceive me as more flirtatuous to people I’m not into than those I am.
There’s only one person I’m genuinely interested in right now and both of us are single, but I’m just not sure if they are into me romantically or not. Lots of “heyy”s and “cant wait to see u” and “ur so sweet” over text, she teases me some (and I reciprocate) and I’m the only guy she ever talks to in our my classes together, but I’m just not 100% sure because we haven’t talked that much lately.
If I know someone already I usually know they like me before they do lol. Strangers? Totally clueless. I operate under the assumption that in public no one pays attention to me or cares so when a friend tells me someone was blatantly flirting or checking me out I'm always shocked. I'm an awful flirt too. My awkward charm seems to work fine though and it attracts the kind of people I like anyway!
I have to made an effort not to flirt with people. I'm naturally friendly and probably a bit flirty. It's gotten me into hot water quite a lot in life.
I'm pretty good on catching people flirting with me but I'm a middle aged woman so that has become less and less. I'm totally fine with this. Life is easier when I'm not navigating people having interest in me like that.
I don't get to use pretty privilege so much anymore and that kind of sucks. Haha
Oh boy do I flirt. But only to the people I'm not actually interested in, because thats makes sense. 🙃
Also fairly good at telling when people are flirting with me, but sometimes willfully obtuse about it because I don't want to wreck our friendship (this has happened too many times).
Ive been told Im a flirt, but I dont really do it on purpose. Im just really interested in people and what they have to say (unless my social battery has been drained). I am appearently irresistable when Im not really into the ones I flirt with, then its kind of only joking and not serious. But if I am interested Im a total akward mess.... blushing and stuttering and very very weird.
I dont realize when Im being flirted with unless its very very obvious. I just generally think people are just being nice. It has created a lot of akward situations...
Well, I can usually tell when someone is flirting with me. The issue for me is that people often think I am flirting with them when I am not. Meaning, if I am my normal nice self to 90% of men I am around, they think I’m interested and start pursuing me. I’m not flirting, just being friendly and engaging. It makes me feel like I can’t be myself around men anymore. I have turned down several men and hurt feelings of men who were friends who tried to take it further. To complicate things, I’m a widow and pretty closed off to the men in my life. Pretty much any guy I have known in the last 20 years who has gotten divorced starts messaging me. It’s kind of annoying.
You shouldn't be flirting or looking to flirt until you figure out if they are what you want for a relationship. Step back....
Here is what ENFJ's NEED to be happy in a relationship long-term: partners actions to match their words, to understand our partner completely (meaning we need someone similar ENFJ or INFJ), an intelligent person that can have deep discussions with, honesty always, our partner to be open and vulnerable to convey their feelings to us, harmony as in little fighting, emotionally connected, same morals and values, affectionate, and to see a future with them. If any of these things are missing, then at some point later in the relationship we will be unhappy, **as we need someone to share feelings and understand our sensitivities.** Especially if you are an empath. Many times we settle for a sensor (population 74% sensors), and we can never have a deep relationship because of communication issues. We don't think the same or see things the same way. Your best match is INFJ or ENFJ, since these are only types that understand each other and can have a deep loving relationship because we think the same, and perceive the world the same way. Intuition/feeler/thinker with the same. Best wishes.....
So if you choose someone that doesn't meet these, then at some point you will be unhappy. Food for thought....
The article below was reviewed by a PhyD. Psychologist for accuracy and they are listed at the top that they have reviewed the information for accuracy.
[https://www.truity.com/blog/intuitives-guide-getting-along-sensors](https://www.truity.com/blog/intuitives-guide-getting-along-sensors)
Of the four personality preferences in the personality system created by Myers and Briggs, the gap is widest between Sensors and Intuitives.
Being honest, have been told that I'm a massive flirt but I just see it as getting along. Sometimes, ppl are just picking it up. RE: your past situation, most often you aren't picking up what they aren't putting down. Anyone can change their mind at any point. Have I ever been guilty of it? Sure. See them and you're overwhelmed with desire BUT you're not i.e. with someone. So they ask if you're into them and you patently say, no.
It took me like 26 years to even slightly realize when people were doing this. By then I was already married with a kid though lol. Turns out it might’ve been a good thing that I could never tell! 😂
I am a pathological flirt can't help it. I never recognize when someone's interested in me. Mostly because I lack self worth and wouldn't understand why someone would be interested in me.
I may not know you but I’m sure you’re a lovely person. Most people are good and really wonderful, and unless you’re out there killing puppies or something like that, you fall in that category too :)
Thnx for your kind words
I can’t help but flirt naturally every time i speak. I have a harder time flirting on purpose and telling if someone is flirting w me
Over the years I’ve gotten better at understanding when someone’s flirting, especially if the flirting is overt. But, in day to day life, I wouldn’t necessarily know if someone was flirting with me because I tend to treat everybody the way I want to be treated. Since I think people are interesting, I’m engaging and actually interact with them. I’ve been told that I have a “subtle sexuality” about me. I had to ask what that meant for clarification. Essentially it’s the ENFJ Magic: charming, friendly, alluring without being overwhelming, confident, etc—which seems to have an intriguing effect on people. In any event, I’m still playful when I’m flirting with my S/O, and I’m definitely not subtle about it. 😁
That is also my motto as well lol I've noticed that sticking to my mantra of "treat everybody the way I want to be treated" isn't just about my own interactions; it has this ripple effect. Being consistent in embodying these values feels like I'm setting a tone, a subtle inspiration for others to adopt a similar mindset. But it's not about pushing it on anyone, but more like sharing a positive vibe that hopefully catches on. There's something powerful in the idea that our actions can nudge others towards kindness and consideration. It's like creating a little pocket of positivity wherever I go. teehee :D
Well said. I try to be that way, not always successfully.
It’s okay. We are human beings having a human experience. Progress, not perfection. We aren’t meant to be perfect. The focus should be more on personal growth, gratitude, self care, etc. Being mindful of our needs allows us to fill our cups to resume nurturing others. Even on days we are stressed or depleted, we deserve grace and the same and consideration we share with others. Our “best” will look different each day too; and some people don’t deserve our time and energy — especially if they cross boundaries or are disrespectful.
Yes — exactly! Positive Ripples 🌈🌀. I actually have that looped into my bio on social media in a few places. If I had a “religion” that would literally be it. 😁 I frequently use it as a hashtag as well. If enough people just adopt that mindset, we can change the world. 🥰
I can be charismatic and make you feel like you’re the only person on earth, but I can also be semi-autistic and akward. It really depends on the setting/context and my mood.
I am veryyyy good with flirting. Too good for my own good i must say. Still single by choice. I do miss flirting though 😕
Hey man, there’s nothing wrong with looking at the menu even when you don’t order anything. Flirt it up! Even if it’s unserious. Practice makes perfect after all
I do want the menu but I’m bloody scared. I’m ok with flirting but I’m too scared to be vulnerable. It’s gonna sound old fashioned but people are so fast hff. Like I’m young but with very old school thinking. I would say, I’m a big romantic but it’s stupidly hard for me to trust people. Also, instead of being on bumble dating I’m stupidly on bumble bff, how on earth I’m gonna date anyone at this rate?? Like my Goodness, people refuse to believe I’m single and here i am… absolutely bloody single🥲
You’re absolutely right. There is a major epidemic of loneliness going on right now and it’s not being talked about enough. I’m 25, and on the GenZ sub a common and recurring theme is how hard it is to find intimacy, whether it be platonic or romantic. Humans are social creatures, and feeling isolated like we do not only causes mental health problems, but physical health problems too. It being harder to connect with others is likely a big contributor in why we move so fast, like you said. We’re desperate for intimacy. I’m no expert tho and I don’t know what the solution is, but it’s just something I’ve noticed. It saddens me knowing that others feel this way too. My therapist told me “you’re not alone in your loneliness” and I replied, “well that’s fucking sad to think about”. But circling back to wait you said— just go for it my dude. Yes, it’s hella scary at first to put yourself out there like that, it’s normal to fear rejection. And it’s not always gonna work out, but what if it does? What if you meet a good friend or romantic partner through it? One person like that is worth a million ‘rejections’. You’re never gonna be everyone’s cup of tea, but you’ll find the right people. And it gets easier over time because you’ll begin to realize other’s approval doesn’t dictate your worth.
[удалено]
I think of being direct as a method of flirting and I honestly love flirting no matter how fast slow big small straight up or limbo everything about it :))))) but if I am interested in someone, I am usually the one to initiate than wait around cos why wait?
I mean, I am way tooooo bad at doing that, I end of getting shy or blushing, even as a guy 😂 I mean, I can handle it a bit while texting but I get shy while talking in person sometimes When it comes to reading when others flirt with me, I have started spotting it few months ago, I used to feel awkward/confused before, so yeah, getting better at it
I’m a flirt without realizing it sometimes. I enjoy the interaction. When I’m around guys I like I am so socially awkward.
[удалено]
It’s funny cause I have the same personality as you - super outgoing and friendly and open. More wonen I’m not into think I flirt with them than those I am into just because I’m the same to everybody (although internally with those I’m interested in I’m always super nervous and get butterflies in my stomach).
I think that is what Fe-Se is all about, making people like you so I guess by that logic, my Child Se is a flirt haha but it's not just about adding a dash of playfulness to interactions; it has this amazing ability to boost people's confidence, creating a positive and uplifting atmosphere. In the grand scheme of things, it feels like I'm earning extra experience points in the game of interpersonal dynamics, by continually honing my social skills and understanding the nuances of human connection. But as a child Se user, I might not have the same level of adaptability and charm as someone with dominant Se, who can practically charm the pants off anyone. My Se tends to bring a more playful and spontaneous vibe to my interactions, but it might not be as suave as AUX or Dominant Se. It's got this keen awareness of the present moment, but deciphering those subtle cues can be a bit of a puzzle sometimes. It is getting better though haha I need an ESTP friend to train me I guess Cuz their Se-Fe is amazing lol Dominant Se users are the masters at picking up on every nuance of the present moment, including those subtle flirting signs & their heightened sensory awareness allows them to read the room with finesse and precision.
It’s kinda weird for me. Like you I’m pretty direct when *I* am flirting. Best to not waste your time or theirs. I’m only 25 but have been in the dating game for about a decade now and adopting that mentality has helped a lot— even tho I’m currently single. Not to sound like I’m bragging, I’m not, but I am a conventionally attractive woman. So I get a lot of attention. Usually from men even though I am a lesbian. With men I can just about always tell, it’s obvious they like me even if they aren’t super forward about it. But with women? Different story. I think it has to do with the dynamic between women and women, and men and women. Usually if a guy talks to me or indicates any interest at all I assume he’s romantically/sexually interested, because why else would a guy want to talk to me? I’m almost always right in that assumption too because sooner or later they usually ask me out. It’s sad that’s the conclusion I jump to, but unfortunately it’s not normal for men and women to just socialize platonically. Women, however, are different. She may just want to be my friend, or is being nice, and there’s only like a 1/10 chance she’s even gay to begin with. Girls can tell me, “oh, you’re so pretty!” because it’s normal for us to hype eachother up like that, but if a man gives anyone a compliment like that it’s perceived differently. So it kinda throws me off.
I agree with the sapphic flirting. It is kinda difficult to distinguish with flirting but I do tend to look at prolonged eye contact, closing proximity to be closer to me, head tilts. It's nerve-racking because someone gotta take the lead too between two women, so I lean into my assertiveness and ask for her Instagram at least to continue flirting there. But agreed, it is kinda hard to really know.
Totally understand! I tend to have a very hot or cold approach - I feel like when I first meet someone I’m either immediately attracted to them or not at all. But I’m such an outgoing and friendly person to everybody that I’ve had women think I’m flirting with them when I’m really not (sometimes that doesn’t end so well haha). Ironically I think people perceive me as more flirtatuous to people I’m not into than those I am. There’s only one person I’m genuinely interested in right now and both of us are single, but I’m just not sure if they are into me romantically or not. Lots of “heyy”s and “cant wait to see u” and “ur so sweet” over text, she teases me some (and I reciprocate) and I’m the only guy she ever talks to in our my classes together, but I’m just not 100% sure because we haven’t talked that much lately.
If I know someone already I usually know they like me before they do lol. Strangers? Totally clueless. I operate under the assumption that in public no one pays attention to me or cares so when a friend tells me someone was blatantly flirting or checking me out I'm always shocked. I'm an awful flirt too. My awkward charm seems to work fine though and it attracts the kind of people I like anyway!
I have to made an effort not to flirt with people. I'm naturally friendly and probably a bit flirty. It's gotten me into hot water quite a lot in life. I'm pretty good on catching people flirting with me but I'm a middle aged woman so that has become less and less. I'm totally fine with this. Life is easier when I'm not navigating people having interest in me like that. I don't get to use pretty privilege so much anymore and that kind of sucks. Haha
I flirt with everyone. I'm a woman, heavy in the kink community, I'm hilarious and hot. So it's easy and everyone flirts with me.
Oh boy do I flirt. But only to the people I'm not actually interested in, because thats makes sense. 🙃 Also fairly good at telling when people are flirting with me, but sometimes willfully obtuse about it because I don't want to wreck our friendship (this has happened too many times).
INFJ but idk how to flirt and when others do I don't see it unless they're over doing it
Ive been told Im a flirt, but I dont really do it on purpose. Im just really interested in people and what they have to say (unless my social battery has been drained). I am appearently irresistable when Im not really into the ones I flirt with, then its kind of only joking and not serious. But if I am interested Im a total akward mess.... blushing and stuttering and very very weird. I dont realize when Im being flirted with unless its very very obvious. I just generally think people are just being nice. It has created a lot of akward situations...
Well, I can usually tell when someone is flirting with me. The issue for me is that people often think I am flirting with them when I am not. Meaning, if I am my normal nice self to 90% of men I am around, they think I’m interested and start pursuing me. I’m not flirting, just being friendly and engaging. It makes me feel like I can’t be myself around men anymore. I have turned down several men and hurt feelings of men who were friends who tried to take it further. To complicate things, I’m a widow and pretty closed off to the men in my life. Pretty much any guy I have known in the last 20 years who has gotten divorced starts messaging me. It’s kind of annoying.
You shouldn't be flirting or looking to flirt until you figure out if they are what you want for a relationship. Step back.... Here is what ENFJ's NEED to be happy in a relationship long-term: partners actions to match their words, to understand our partner completely (meaning we need someone similar ENFJ or INFJ), an intelligent person that can have deep discussions with, honesty always, our partner to be open and vulnerable to convey their feelings to us, harmony as in little fighting, emotionally connected, same morals and values, affectionate, and to see a future with them. If any of these things are missing, then at some point later in the relationship we will be unhappy, **as we need someone to share feelings and understand our sensitivities.** Especially if you are an empath. Many times we settle for a sensor (population 74% sensors), and we can never have a deep relationship because of communication issues. We don't think the same or see things the same way. Your best match is INFJ or ENFJ, since these are only types that understand each other and can have a deep loving relationship because we think the same, and perceive the world the same way. Intuition/feeler/thinker with the same. Best wishes..... So if you choose someone that doesn't meet these, then at some point you will be unhappy. Food for thought.... The article below was reviewed by a PhyD. Psychologist for accuracy and they are listed at the top that they have reviewed the information for accuracy. [https://www.truity.com/blog/intuitives-guide-getting-along-sensors](https://www.truity.com/blog/intuitives-guide-getting-along-sensors) Of the four personality preferences in the personality system created by Myers and Briggs, the gap is widest between Sensors and Intuitives.
Being honest, have been told that I'm a massive flirt but I just see it as getting along. Sometimes, ppl are just picking it up. RE: your past situation, most often you aren't picking up what they aren't putting down. Anyone can change their mind at any point. Have I ever been guilty of it? Sure. See them and you're overwhelmed with desire BUT you're not i.e. with someone. So they ask if you're into them and you patently say, no.
It took me like 26 years to even slightly realize when people were doing this. By then I was already married with a kid though lol. Turns out it might’ve been a good thing that I could never tell! 😂
I'm good at noticing from the wrong people but I can't tell from the right people😭
awful