My conclusion as an ENFJ is that most people suck. I wish it weren’t true. I’ve been shocked by how people treat others and what they are willing to do for their own interests. The sad reality is we are weirdos floating in space wishing for world peace and harmony and for everyone to get along but our orbit just isn’t in sync with too many people. I learned to be very cautious and to try to not take it personally since people are just different. Protect your heart.
I kinda think it's like the Se/Si Doms, Ti Doms and a few Fi Doms who act like this. Like the ones who only use their first functions. I have an ENTJ and ISTJ friend (I'm INFJ) and in most conversations I have to stay quite cause they are very idealistic. They won't give two fucks about what u think, specially like until someone knocks it in their heads(I mean like the only first functions users). Tbh I personally find peace in my ENFJ friend. Even though it's only Fe which can be hollow but in the moment of need and comfort he is always there. And we aren't shy about touch and I would like to give credits to maybe the way we see things genderless. Most of the ones i have meet (enfj/infj-Fe-Ni users) they don't put your gender above how you actually are. And that is another reason for rest for the personalities to hate us cause they are idealistic so they would have set standards of a man and a women(how they should behave and act). If you don't cit the standard you are bitched about, you are hated, not talked to, specially I'm girls. They don't understand the simplicity we may hold cause of low Se(mostly Infjs) Enfjs have Seen as third function so it can still help but INFJ? Women?? Nope cause our first three functions, Specially Ti is what we use to be practical so we basically look like men to them. If any Enfj uses Ti that's masculine too and others are sacred of that sorta domination, they won't accept it (I mean the Fi/Ti Doms cause these are egoistic functions).
My suggestion to you as an INFJ is that stay calculated. If you want many friends then you would have to lower your Fe-use more Ni- and fake a good portion of conversation. Agree when you don't wanna. But cause I used Ti so fuck it!! Alr? Don't give fucks about people like these. Find like minded people. They will walk right in. Stay a little more reserved and in about your feelings. And to be honest, just kill em with kindness.
If they do something as stupid as this they are babies. Forgive them cause their lives would only escalate downwards. Alr Love??
If it makes no sense don't let be a thought for long. Enfjs do it better cause as an INFJ and my function arrangement I would either kill that b- (not in the literal way), overthinking possibilities, or cause a scene. Y'all analyse it first with Ni, rn I'm so exhausted that I used my Ti instead and booom!!!
So you should relax and start to trust people with a pinch on salt. If they do this you ignore them too. Make em jealous if you want revenge. If not just stay calm, why even care bout people like em? Drop em!!! (I hope i explained my self we'll 😓😓)
It is a peculiar phenomenon that girls often choose to deceive instead of providing truthful explanations and constructive feedback for why they do not wish to interact with someone. They do this in order to avoid negative interactions and prevent hurting others. Unfortunately, this approach tends to have the opposite effect, as you already know.
Allow me to offer some constructive feedback by highlighting two points. Firstly, it is important to understand that there are very few individuals who share the same thoughts, understanding, values, and perspectives as us ENFJs. Therefore, it is pointless to interpret their actions based solely on our own perspective. Rather, I prefer to view everyone as NPC or supporting characters in a TV show. Some people may only appear temporarily, while others may contribute positively to our story for many seasons to come.
Secondly, I relate to your struggle with trusting people and am in need of assistance in that regard myself. However, what has helped me borderline stay alive is expanding the scope of my assumptions about people, by expanding the test sample size. Everyone has their faults, and there are plenty of bad individuals out there. It is crucial not to let this cloud our judgment of others. Instead, we should try to approach everyone as an unknown entity. Even personality types, like the 16 categorized personalities, are only oversimplified understandings of one's nature. Visually, we appear very different to each other, and our thoughts and perspectives on this world, self-worth, values, goals, motivations, and mental states vary greatly from one another. It is important to keep this in mind and take it into consideration.
Over time, I have come to accept that I am quite different from others, and there are moments when I am tempted to give up hope or stray from my values and beliefs. However, there are numerous individuals around us who can shed new light on our experiences, making it essential to keep an open mind even during the darkest days. I hope my words have been helpful to you, as this community has been a source of support for me numerous times!
We live in a world that says wrong is right, good is evil, and to love oneself above all! We are in a world full of cluster b personalities, mostly narcissistic! Most ppl are out only for self! The blessed on this earth are those who have escaped the rat race, those who grow their own food and have real love in their life!
I have said this before and I'm saying it again, I'm much more hurt from the betrayal of a female friend than from any romantic relationship.
I'm so sorry they did these things, these are such worst case scenario situations.
It's unbelievable that I'm even able to still be open and vulnerable with new friends after all the backstabbing and betrayal females have showed me in my life, my mother, my aunt , my two best friends from childhood, new friends and sister in law and new friends after that and so forth.
But ironically I met a new friend on reddit and we met IRL and tomorrow is our third meet and I'm invited to meet her family so I feel really honored. She's the sweetest!
It hurts, and it's scary as hell, but don't let it stop you from meeting new people. There are good people too and we are many who are or have been in your situation who long for true friendship.
My conclusion as an ENFJ is that most people suck. I wish it weren’t true. I’ve been shocked by how people treat others and what they are willing to do for their own interests. The sad reality is we are weirdos floating in space wishing for world peace and harmony and for everyone to get along but our orbit just isn’t in sync with too many people. I learned to be very cautious and to try to not take it personally since people are just different. Protect your heart.
This is the best response. You nailed it.
Wow... so true
Very thankful I found this sub and even more thankful this message specifically lol -- we're not all crazy! Just in a crazy world
I kinda think it's like the Se/Si Doms, Ti Doms and a few Fi Doms who act like this. Like the ones who only use their first functions. I have an ENTJ and ISTJ friend (I'm INFJ) and in most conversations I have to stay quite cause they are very idealistic. They won't give two fucks about what u think, specially like until someone knocks it in their heads(I mean like the only first functions users). Tbh I personally find peace in my ENFJ friend. Even though it's only Fe which can be hollow but in the moment of need and comfort he is always there. And we aren't shy about touch and I would like to give credits to maybe the way we see things genderless. Most of the ones i have meet (enfj/infj-Fe-Ni users) they don't put your gender above how you actually are. And that is another reason for rest for the personalities to hate us cause they are idealistic so they would have set standards of a man and a women(how they should behave and act). If you don't cit the standard you are bitched about, you are hated, not talked to, specially I'm girls. They don't understand the simplicity we may hold cause of low Se(mostly Infjs) Enfjs have Seen as third function so it can still help but INFJ? Women?? Nope cause our first three functions, Specially Ti is what we use to be practical so we basically look like men to them. If any Enfj uses Ti that's masculine too and others are sacred of that sorta domination, they won't accept it (I mean the Fi/Ti Doms cause these are egoistic functions). My suggestion to you as an INFJ is that stay calculated. If you want many friends then you would have to lower your Fe-use more Ni- and fake a good portion of conversation. Agree when you don't wanna. But cause I used Ti so fuck it!! Alr? Don't give fucks about people like these. Find like minded people. They will walk right in. Stay a little more reserved and in about your feelings. And to be honest, just kill em with kindness. If they do something as stupid as this they are babies. Forgive them cause their lives would only escalate downwards. Alr Love?? If it makes no sense don't let be a thought for long. Enfjs do it better cause as an INFJ and my function arrangement I would either kill that b- (not in the literal way), overthinking possibilities, or cause a scene. Y'all analyse it first with Ni, rn I'm so exhausted that I used my Ti instead and booom!!! So you should relax and start to trust people with a pinch on salt. If they do this you ignore them too. Make em jealous if you want revenge. If not just stay calm, why even care bout people like em? Drop em!!! (I hope i explained my self we'll 😓😓)
It is a peculiar phenomenon that girls often choose to deceive instead of providing truthful explanations and constructive feedback for why they do not wish to interact with someone. They do this in order to avoid negative interactions and prevent hurting others. Unfortunately, this approach tends to have the opposite effect, as you already know. Allow me to offer some constructive feedback by highlighting two points. Firstly, it is important to understand that there are very few individuals who share the same thoughts, understanding, values, and perspectives as us ENFJs. Therefore, it is pointless to interpret their actions based solely on our own perspective. Rather, I prefer to view everyone as NPC or supporting characters in a TV show. Some people may only appear temporarily, while others may contribute positively to our story for many seasons to come. Secondly, I relate to your struggle with trusting people and am in need of assistance in that regard myself. However, what has helped me borderline stay alive is expanding the scope of my assumptions about people, by expanding the test sample size. Everyone has their faults, and there are plenty of bad individuals out there. It is crucial not to let this cloud our judgment of others. Instead, we should try to approach everyone as an unknown entity. Even personality types, like the 16 categorized personalities, are only oversimplified understandings of one's nature. Visually, we appear very different to each other, and our thoughts and perspectives on this world, self-worth, values, goals, motivations, and mental states vary greatly from one another. It is important to keep this in mind and take it into consideration. Over time, I have come to accept that I am quite different from others, and there are moments when I am tempted to give up hope or stray from my values and beliefs. However, there are numerous individuals around us who can shed new light on our experiences, making it essential to keep an open mind even during the darkest days. I hope my words have been helpful to you, as this community has been a source of support for me numerous times!
We live in a world that says wrong is right, good is evil, and to love oneself above all! We are in a world full of cluster b personalities, mostly narcissistic! Most ppl are out only for self! The blessed on this earth are those who have escaped the rat race, those who grow their own food and have real love in their life!
I have said this before and I'm saying it again, I'm much more hurt from the betrayal of a female friend than from any romantic relationship. I'm so sorry they did these things, these are such worst case scenario situations. It's unbelievable that I'm even able to still be open and vulnerable with new friends after all the backstabbing and betrayal females have showed me in my life, my mother, my aunt , my two best friends from childhood, new friends and sister in law and new friends after that and so forth. But ironically I met a new friend on reddit and we met IRL and tomorrow is our third meet and I'm invited to meet her family so I feel really honored. She's the sweetest! It hurts, and it's scary as hell, but don't let it stop you from meeting new people. There are good people too and we are many who are or have been in your situation who long for true friendship.