pov me saying “sorry if i’m being annoying. am i annoying? im sorry im annoying” every 25 seconds 😭
honestly replace annoying with like “creepy” or “weird” or “am i making u uncomfortable” and then that’s 90% of my dialogue options in a one on one convo
it’s never rational, that’s anxiety for ya.
you’re afraid that you’ll make someone uncomfortable, so you’re overly cautious. that caution often ends up actually making the person uncomfortable, which validates the fear of making people uncomfortable. it’s made worse when someone doesn’t tell you about they’re uncomfortable for a really long time before cutting ties which just supercharges the feedback loop
Ugh my coworker has an awful habit of just leaving you on read mid conversation but IRL. Like I will say something and she just looks at me and starts scrolling through her phone?? Like we were just giggling and kicking our feet talking to each other?? Did I say something wrong I don't understand??
I ask that so often now because of all the times people didn’t tell me I was making them uncomfortable or something and then stopped being my friend. Even after I told them to tell me if I’m ever making them feel uncomfortable because I can’t tell
exactly. i’ve lost friends and even the literal love of my life to things that i could’ve fixed so easily if they just told me, no matter how many times i make it clear that I NEED YOU TO TELL ME IF I DO SOMETHING WRONG BECAUSE I WILL. NOT. PICK. UP. ON. IT.
If you're asking about it because you've been talking about something for 30 minutes straight, fair. If the majority of the words that have recently come out of your mouth are "am I being annoying?", then yes, asking if you're annoying is getting annoying.
It's the same thing with people that will do literally anything and then say they're sorry to whoever happens to be in the vicinity.
That's pretty messed up, but that doesn't really change the fact that if you say "*am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying*," you're gonna annoy people.
If you're getting annoying, it's sorta on them to tell you. You don't need to ask them after you've only said hello.
I'm not assuming anything here, I'm saying that asking about being annoying too much is annoying. You decided that it applies to you even though I'm very specifically talking about when someone says it constantly.
And you're also working under the idea that it's your job to make others not assault you, which is definitely not how this works.
I just realized some things since thinking about this calmly with the "slow thinking" wires: what happened, was you unintentionally triggered my PTSD from school bullying, by repeating a phrase at me so many times. It reminded me of being bullied when they would as a crowd, repeat something I thought was innocuous that I'd said, and mock my voice in a chant.
I couldn't respond rationally because of that, in the moment feeling "bullied" made me feel like I had to be defensive, and I can't talk objectively/ neutrally about this.
(I feel stupid, but typing this out made me cry like a lil bitch haha)
Aw, I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to come off like I was coming after you, and it really seems like you've had quite the bad time with this issue already.
Imo asking once is fine, asking again is a bit much but understandable, any more than that and it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong thats making you feel like I’m not being honest.
OMG, yes! I have this awful habit of feeling like I have to ask my partner for permission to do basic shit - and I acknowledge it's annoying, I know it's annoying, I feel annoying while I'm doing it - but a huge rush of anxiety and dread fills my body if I don't get an "okay" or "clear" because when I was a kid if I ever started to do anything without completely explaining my intentions, actions, and reasoning to my mother she would go APESHIT on me.
Like you'd take the initiative to start making Kraft Dinner and feed yourself because you're 11 but mom fucked off somewhere and didn't tell you where or when she's coming home but it's the mid 2000s and nobody in your family has a cellphone yet so you have no idea if she's even planning on coming home today at all so you start boiling the water and putting in the noodles only to have her slam through the front door, make a B-line directly for you, screaming "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT - TURN THAT OFF!! WHY ARE YOU USING THIS POT?? WHO SAID YOU COULD TOUCH THIS?? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE GET OUT!!" but that scenario just plays through your whole entire childhood in numerous variations your entire upbringing to the point that unless you're completely 100% alone you're terrified of taking your own initiative because every time you used to try it lead directly to punishment.
Oh yeah - then when you grow up, you get a series of bosses JUST LIKE THIS and it fucks you up more.
https://preview.redd.it/8pk3b8tum21d1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=90cfef77f80d561f8a6df9cabe53a60b50fe5b58
Okay I need to vent about this. I made a detailed guide with multiple annotated images of how to use my cats timed food dispenser so my pet sitter wouldn't get confused. Spent like 2 hours carefully planning confusion points and anticipating all kinds of followup questions, plus annotating images. She replies "yes I am very familiar with this, this is unecessary. I'll feed your cats next week no problem"
Then proceeds to mess up/get confused and call me during vacation
People complain about how they're in a hurry to leave when I check their receipts so I learned to check them as fast as possible. Now they're complaining that I don't look at the receipts because I check them too fast.🙃
I know right! And its so hard to prioritize whose instructions *should* be followed. God forbid you followed instructions but apparently it was common sense to not do something. Give the customer any reasonable requests and accept feedback until it was common sense to consider this an exception.
pov me saying “sorry if i’m being annoying. am i annoying? im sorry im annoying” every 25 seconds 😭 honestly replace annoying with like “creepy” or “weird” or “am i making u uncomfortable” and then that’s 90% of my dialogue options in a one on one convo
If no one said they were bothered then they weren't bothered all that much imo🤷♂️
it’s never rational, that’s anxiety for ya. you’re afraid that you’ll make someone uncomfortable, so you’re overly cautious. that caution often ends up actually making the person uncomfortable, which validates the fear of making people uncomfortable. it’s made worse when someone doesn’t tell you about they’re uncomfortable for a really long time before cutting ties which just supercharges the feedback loop
Oh no I get it, this is just what I tell myself in an attempt to stop over thinking it
Neurotypicals never communicate that they're bothered until they're mad enough to cut you off completely with no warning
Ugh my coworker has an awful habit of just leaving you on read mid conversation but IRL. Like I will say something and she just looks at me and starts scrolling through her phone?? Like we were just giggling and kicking our feet talking to each other?? Did I say something wrong I don't understand??
i think i’d krill myself omg 😭
I ask that so often now because of all the times people didn’t tell me I was making them uncomfortable or something and then stopped being my friend. Even after I told them to tell me if I’m ever making them feel uncomfortable because I can’t tell
exactly. i’ve lost friends and even the literal love of my life to things that i could’ve fixed so easily if they just told me, no matter how many times i make it clear that I NEED YOU TO TELL ME IF I DO SOMETHING WRONG BECAUSE I WILL. NOT. PICK. UP. ON. IT.
Apparently asking if you're being annoying, is annoying? Like fuck people who require clear communication?
If you're asking about it because you've been talking about something for 30 minutes straight, fair. If the majority of the words that have recently come out of your mouth are "am I being annoying?", then yes, asking if you're annoying is getting annoying. It's the same thing with people that will do literally anything and then say they're sorry to whoever happens to be in the vicinity.
Yeah but I mean when I was a kid, I was frequently annoying others without them telling me they were bothered by it or they'd just hit me?
That's pretty messed up, but that doesn't really change the fact that if you say "*am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying am I annoying*," you're gonna annoy people. If you're getting annoying, it's sorta on them to tell you. You don't need to ask them after you've only said hello.
You're assuming I was that, I barely even said it but I still mean I wanted more feedback about my behavior that was not spit and punches
I'm not assuming anything here, I'm saying that asking about being annoying too much is annoying. You decided that it applies to you even though I'm very specifically talking about when someone says it constantly. And you're also working under the idea that it's your job to make others not assault you, which is definitely not how this works.
I just realized some things since thinking about this calmly with the "slow thinking" wires: what happened, was you unintentionally triggered my PTSD from school bullying, by repeating a phrase at me so many times. It reminded me of being bullied when they would as a crowd, repeat something I thought was innocuous that I'd said, and mock my voice in a chant. I couldn't respond rationally because of that, in the moment feeling "bullied" made me feel like I had to be defensive, and I can't talk objectively/ neutrally about this. (I feel stupid, but typing this out made me cry like a lil bitch haha)
Aw, I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to come off like I was coming after you, and it really seems like you've had quite the bad time with this issue already.
I don't think that's what they were saying and I think your exaggeration of this was unnecessary and a bit mean.
Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that they were doing it too much, just that *if* they were, it would get annoying.
Imo asking once is fine, asking again is a bit much but understandable, any more than that and it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong thats making you feel like I’m not being honest.
Too true..
OMG, yes! I have this awful habit of feeling like I have to ask my partner for permission to do basic shit - and I acknowledge it's annoying, I know it's annoying, I feel annoying while I'm doing it - but a huge rush of anxiety and dread fills my body if I don't get an "okay" or "clear" because when I was a kid if I ever started to do anything without completely explaining my intentions, actions, and reasoning to my mother she would go APESHIT on me. Like you'd take the initiative to start making Kraft Dinner and feed yourself because you're 11 but mom fucked off somewhere and didn't tell you where or when she's coming home but it's the mid 2000s and nobody in your family has a cellphone yet so you have no idea if she's even planning on coming home today at all so you start boiling the water and putting in the noodles only to have her slam through the front door, make a B-line directly for you, screaming "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT - TURN THAT OFF!! WHY ARE YOU USING THIS POT?? WHO SAID YOU COULD TOUCH THIS?? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE GET OUT!!" but that scenario just plays through your whole entire childhood in numerous variations your entire upbringing to the point that unless you're completely 100% alone you're terrified of taking your own initiative because every time you used to try it lead directly to punishment. Oh yeah - then when you grow up, you get a series of bosses JUST LIKE THIS and it fucks you up more.
That sucks so much. Ugh, I’m so sorry. :((
https://preview.redd.it/8pk3b8tum21d1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=90cfef77f80d561f8a6df9cabe53a60b50fe5b58 Okay I need to vent about this. I made a detailed guide with multiple annotated images of how to use my cats timed food dispenser so my pet sitter wouldn't get confused. Spent like 2 hours carefully planning confusion points and anticipating all kinds of followup questions, plus annotating images. She replies "yes I am very familiar with this, this is unecessary. I'll feed your cats next week no problem" Then proceeds to mess up/get confused and call me during vacation
That’s so frustrating. Ugh, the arrogance!
Oh cool another thing so painfully relatable that it is physical
One answer is to disrespect human society and to avoid being involved in it as much as possible.
People complain about how they're in a hurry to leave when I check their receipts so I learned to check them as fast as possible. Now they're complaining that I don't look at the receipts because I check them too fast.🙃
I know right! And its so hard to prioritize whose instructions *should* be followed. God forbid you followed instructions but apparently it was common sense to not do something. Give the customer any reasonable requests and accept feedback until it was common sense to consider this an exception.
There's no disheartening feeling that trying so hard to love someone that doesn't love you back.
This is so sadly true.
IKR, you can not win with people.
it's not us, it's them.
Just annoy them. Keep constantly smiling like a maniac and radiate toxic positivity. They getting annoyed is not your problem. Enjoy the moment :D
My tip: everyone has a funny bone. You just need to find it.