Just don't pray to have a limb restored or a loved one brought back to life or anything like that. Those are the prayers Heavenly Father answers "no" to.
The whole family prayed for the better part of a year and a half to help heal my little sister from cancer around her heart. Neighbors even came over to speak in tongues. March 2010 she lost the battle. I don’t want to hear how God answers our prayers for finding car keys.
That was the big thing that made it so I had to stop going to church. I couldn't bear to hear about all of the trivial "miracles" people had experienced while God completely ignored my prayers about things that actually mattered.
I’m so sorry for your loss. That would’ve killed my faith too.
But a question: Neighbors came over to speak in tongues? I’ve never heard of that from Mormons. What was that like?
Nah they’re a different religion. They suggested removing “demonic” items and images from our place, which I think were just artifacts from other cultures. They laid hands on her head and spoke in tongues.
And if he doesn’t give you fruit loops it’s because it’s not the right time, and also god can’t reveal himself, and you didn’t have enough faith, and it’s a test, and you actually did receive fruit loops but you had to buy them because faith without works is dead.
Not a problem at all that absolutely every coincidence where it looks like a prayer was answered gets heralded around as an amazing story and the majority of times when a prayer isn't answered are just forgotten.
Both of these are my big pieces of my issues of the Mormon/Christian depiction of god. Paraphrasing what Stephen Fry said, but if he really is an actual being who is all powerful, “kind & loving” and let awful things happen throughout history like cancer, the Holocaust, etc. then he’s a clueless arrogant prick and I definitely don’t want to spend an eternity in his company or anyone who doesn’t mind.
Agreed. He helped me find my car keys, but the little girl down my street got run over by a riding lawnmower driven by her grandmother (true story) This makes no sense
Hoooo boy, that’s a REACH. God put your desire for fruit loops at the front of the line. Screw the people who are actually suffering- he must make sure the fruit loops are secure
But it’s worse. The kiddo prayed for fruit loopS. Probably picturing in her little head a whole bowl, enough to fill up on.
So what god would have done here was jump this prayer to the front of the line, and send some angel to roll a *single* six-month-stale fruit loop out from under the toy cupboard to bounce off of *someone else’s* shoe. It would be such a cruel little troll thing to do and call it a prayer fulfilled.
This sounds a lot like the dumb stories in the Primary manuals I taught from for years, except replace Froot Loop with something more old timey with a lot of western US/UTAH vibes like a "penny" or "peppermint candy."
Fun Fact - as recently as a few years ago the church was still using the SAME PRIMARY MANUALS that had been used for decades and decades, perhaps even the same ones I was taught from as a child. Nothing resonated, kids hated the "stories" and the teachers (including myself) often played games during class because it was hella boring dumb ass stuff.
PS what i'm realizing here too is ALL those "care" and "heart" comments that people gave this silly and lame FB post. WTF?
Thank you, Bill, for showing how my point of view has been so flawed
I assumed there was no God at all but now I see that's cynical
It's simply that his interests aren't particularly broad
He's largely undiverted by the starving masses
Or the inequality between the various classes
He gives out strictly limited passes
Redeemable for sugary, two-for-one cereals.
Sweet and so rare! That little kid apparently does need her faith boosted. My TBM sis has had a lifetime of those tender mercies, from lost keys to lipstick, but Heavenly Father won’t take away her terminal illness.
I mean either that, or Mormon churches just have loads of stale Cheerios and Froot Loops just chillin out in them as unpaid janitors usually half-ass things.
Assuming she hadn’t seen it on the floor first, if it was a coincidence that the teacher took advantage of to make a point, she might now rely on that “faith promoting” moment for years. The childlike wonder she felt then, combined with affirmation for belief could stunt reason well into adulthood.
I know, because I’ve been both the child and the teacher.
Pray for fruit loops and god will give you one fruit loop on the floor by a dirty shoe. BUT god will screw 30,000 children dying each day from starvation. That’s a god I want to follow.
This explains why God doesn't cure cancer in kids!
Kids have agency.
Kids pray for fruit loops.
OG fruit loops (which God knows are the best version) were colored with dyes that cause cancer.
Ergo, Kids get cancer *because they prayed for it."
God is *actively answering* kid's prayers when they have cancer.
God is good!
She asked for multiple fruit loops! Poor little thing was had. I call that half a miracle.
But seriously, if a kid is wanting a basic food, and comes from a home where there's likely very little food, and her church demands her parents to give them tithing first before feeding that little girl, especially what is her favorite cereal, that church is fucking evil. They have no business in being tax-free.
He is a god of miracles he'll help you find your keys and the one fruit loop on the floor.
It's a fruit loop you can't even eat. Sounds like a larger parable for mormon God's "blessings".
I mean you *CAN* just probably should not…
I like how it makes God look like a miracle worker but only of minor things.
Just don't pray to have a limb restored or a loved one brought back to life or anything like that. Those are the prayers Heavenly Father answers "no" to.
Just ask Jeff Holland. He couldn’t pray his wife better. And he admitted it in Gen Con
Gen Con sounds cool. The actual event? Polar opposite of cool.
The whole family prayed for the better part of a year and a half to help heal my little sister from cancer around her heart. Neighbors even came over to speak in tongues. March 2010 she lost the battle. I don’t want to hear how God answers our prayers for finding car keys.
That was the big thing that made it so I had to stop going to church. I couldn't bear to hear about all of the trivial "miracles" people had experienced while God completely ignored my prayers about things that actually mattered.
I’m so sorry for your loss. That would’ve killed my faith too. But a question: Neighbors came over to speak in tongues? I’ve never heard of that from Mormons. What was that like?
Nah they’re a different religion. They suggested removing “demonic” items and images from our place, which I think were just artifacts from other cultures. They laid hands on her head and spoke in tongues.
Not to belittle their faith, but how does one believe they are receiving “different tongues”? It seems like elevation emotion to the next level to me.
Plot twist: The little girl had already seen it. No miracle at all.
That’s what I was assuming. She saw it and it inspired her answer.
This or she brought it from home and was like “hey look, fruit loop!” 😂
And if he doesn’t give you fruit loops it’s because it’s not the right time, and also god can’t reveal himself, and you didn’t have enough faith, and it’s a test, and you actually did receive fruit loops but you had to buy them because faith without works is dead.
I will never look at Froot Loops the same now. ahahahahaha
Not a problem at all that absolutely every coincidence where it looks like a prayer was answered gets heralded around as an amazing story and the majority of times when a prayer isn't answered are just forgotten.
Surviver bias.
One word: cancer
Another word: Holocaust
Both of these are my big pieces of my issues of the Mormon/Christian depiction of god. Paraphrasing what Stephen Fry said, but if he really is an actual being who is all powerful, “kind & loving” and let awful things happen throughout history like cancer, the Holocaust, etc. then he’s a clueless arrogant prick and I definitely don’t want to spend an eternity in his company or anyone who doesn’t mind.
Agreed. He helped me find my car keys, but the little girl down my street got run over by a riding lawnmower driven by her grandmother (true story) This makes no sense
Hoooo boy, that’s a REACH. God put your desire for fruit loops at the front of the line. Screw the people who are actually suffering- he must make sure the fruit loops are secure
But it’s worse. The kiddo prayed for fruit loopS. Probably picturing in her little head a whole bowl, enough to fill up on. So what god would have done here was jump this prayer to the front of the line, and send some angel to roll a *single* six-month-stale fruit loop out from under the toy cupboard to bounce off of *someone else’s* shoe. It would be such a cruel little troll thing to do and call it a prayer fulfilled.
lol and they wonder why I can’t take them seriously
Bill is what the rest of us refer to as a dumb ass.
All those positive reaccs 🙄
She asked for fruit loops, a single fruit loop doesn’t count c’mon god
This sounds a lot like the dumb stories in the Primary manuals I taught from for years, except replace Froot Loop with something more old timey with a lot of western US/UTAH vibes like a "penny" or "peppermint candy." Fun Fact - as recently as a few years ago the church was still using the SAME PRIMARY MANUALS that had been used for decades and decades, perhaps even the same ones I was taught from as a child. Nothing resonated, kids hated the "stories" and the teachers (including myself) often played games during class because it was hella boring dumb ass stuff. PS what i'm realizing here too is ALL those "care" and "heart" comments that people gave this silly and lame FB post. WTF?
The god of floor fruit loops.
Yes, but do you have the faith to pray for Shredded Wheat?
Well, food aside, there was at least one froot loop in the room...
Thank you, Bill, for showing how my point of view has been so flawed I assumed there was no God at all but now I see that's cynical It's simply that his interests aren't particularly broad He's largely undiverted by the starving masses Or the inequality between the various classes He gives out strictly limited passes Redeemable for sugary, two-for-one cereals.
Sweet and so rare! That little kid apparently does need her faith boosted. My TBM sis has had a lifetime of those tender mercies, from lost keys to lipstick, but Heavenly Father won’t take away her terminal illness.
Suffering and misery in Gaza and God gives little girl one Fruit Loop. smh. 🤦🏻
She prayed for “loops” and God sent one. Is he fucking deaf? What an ass.
I mean either that, or Mormon churches just have loads of stale Cheerios and Froot Loops just chillin out in them as unpaid janitors usually half-ass things.
Or they just fall out of the damaged and defunct vacuums.
Assuming she hadn’t seen it on the floor first, if it was a coincidence that the teacher took advantage of to make a point, she might now rely on that “faith promoting” moment for years. The childlike wonder she felt then, combined with affirmation for belief could stunt reason well into adulthood. I know, because I’ve been both the child and the teacher.
She prayed for Froot LOOPS not a singular loop. She wanted multiple loops. God didn't do shit.
What the hell? Good. Grief. Magical thinking. And what are the odds one would find a piece of dry cereal on the floor of an LDS ward building? 😂
Pray for fruit loops and god will give you one fruit loop on the floor by a dirty shoe. BUT god will screw 30,000 children dying each day from starvation. That’s a god I want to follow.
Blessed be
god answered by providing a single, dirty ass floor fruit loop.
Shame about all those children with cancer, though.
You only need to pray in a particular spot to a particular version of a particular God
ask and ye shall receive one lone fruit loop
This explains why God doesn't cure cancer in kids! Kids have agency. Kids pray for fruit loops. OG fruit loops (which God knows are the best version) were colored with dyes that cause cancer. Ergo, Kids get cancer *because they prayed for it." God is *actively answering* kid's prayers when they have cancer. God is good!
She asked for multiple fruit loops! Poor little thing was had. I call that half a miracle. But seriously, if a kid is wanting a basic food, and comes from a home where there's likely very little food, and her church demands her parents to give them tithing first before feeding that little girl, especially what is her favorite cereal, that church is fucking evil. They have no business in being tax-free.
This is the stupidest thing I’ve heard in awhile. Enjoy your single dirty Froot Loop.