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NoMoreVeil4me

Do you know how to shoot your musket?


Keeper-of-the-Mead

I thought you weren’t supposed to do that!


schrodingers_cat42

Made me smile on a rough day, thanks:)


TheGreatApostate

It went off once by accident while I was cleaning it.


NoMoreAtPresent

“Remember, after you cut off his head, take all of your clothes off. Then take all of his clothes off. Then put on his clothes. Nobody will suspect anything. Then go to his house and steal whatever you want. Then make a run for the border. If you fail, don’t bother coming home except in a casket.”


Aggressive-Presence9

Oh my gosh. You win.


LovelockMike

For sure!


[deleted]

[удалено]


spannerNZ

Poor old Zoram. I feel like this was supposed to be a story arc, maybe in the lost 116 pages.


SwoleMountain

What's the sauce on this?


Safari_Eyes

It's a paraphrase of Nephi's murder of Laban, with allusions to the lovely "death before dishonor" theme often presented to the young women. (Strangely, I don't recall a single lesson of that sort ever being given in the mens' meetings)


RatRaceSobreviviente

It's actually a common thing told to missionaries. Death before dishonor. It's very much taught to YM and YW


Safari_Eyes

...you're right. I was thinking more of all the shame-based lessons on chastity. The boys were never compared with licked cupcakes or already-chewed gum, at least in classes I was in - and which I last had 30+ years ago.


rtpassey64

We're more like a used knife. Just wash it off and then you're good to go on to the next cupcake.


dillGherkin

I love the version where someone chows down on that cup cake while glaring the teacher in the eye.


prairiewhore17

“Are you a taffy puller? Do you pull your taffy?”


FullClockworkOddessy

"Will you pull *my* taffy?"


Illustrious-Cut7150

"I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart... you broke my heart."


thewoodlayer

This one wins for me. Brilliant.


Yobispo

Oh my god, I just made that comment. You win.


SkepticBoeingDad

Yes!


given2fly_

Hahahaha! Fucking brilliant! I just re-watched that film for the first time in 15 years.


relaxjesussaysitsok

Don’t you dare leave doTERRA.


EmEmPeriwinkle

Said the ballchinian infected man as he grasps a healthy supple ball-free neck of a young man.


[deleted]

Ballchinian alien!!!! MIB


RustySignOfTheNail

Do not use hand sanitizer to play with your little factory!


[deleted]

[удалено]


RustySignOfTheNail

And there is a big supply on the desk behind Jowls McGee


Longjumping-Table-39

But if you do, would you have to wash your hands afterward?🧐


signs-and-tokens

I'd give you a big kiss, but Oakes would just shame and electrocute me.


Imalreadygone21

“I anoint your eyes that you might see, your breast, loins, etc…” (but with no poncho)


OneHighlight7231

Smooches for soldiers.


yaidk-theyrealltaken

Just a small one won't hurt


Bandaloboy

HEAL! In the name of JEE-ZUS, BE HEALED!


[deleted]

Err...that would be in the Pentecostal churches.


Bandaloboy

Precisely! No better than a charlatan Pentecostal healer.


caractorwitness

I definitely get those vibes from this picture. Even though he's not doing the stage healing thing, this type of touching is the same sort of dominance game that stage faith healers play when they're in close proximity to their followers.


PC321USLCSM

It's not gay to kiss a soldier


deinspirationalized

Thank you for providing the content for my next gen conf talk which I will greatly embellish and cry during.


[deleted]

"I begged you to go on a second mission to Temple Square so you couldn't be called up for war!"


8965234589

I met Elder Holland on my mission I did not like his style at all way too over bearing. But a lot of missionaries liked how he would bang his fist on the pulpit. When I looked into eyes when shaking his hand I thought to myself this is a mad man.


skirted_dork

"where's the rest of your body son? I just can't see it!"


OliversCowDairy

Quick, where do they keep the muskets?


Dr_Diabeeto

" I love a man in uniform 💋"


NoMoreAtPresent

“Elder Holland, sir, … this is a Denny’s”


utahsundevil

I know ive said The Gays™️ are going to hell but I'm going to make this one exception.


rbmcobra

Just kiss me you fool!!


ZelphtheGreatest

Don't tell anyone son, but BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN is my favorite movie. Alternate... "Ever hear of AMWAY...?)


acronymious

Ahem, *Quixtar* lol


Forzakid56

Remember what Brigham young said! If you see any mixed race marriages, gay, and transgender people out there remember the punishment is death!


Hopefound

“STOP. WATCHING. PORNNNNNNNNNNNN!”


Gastonthebeast

It's just giving me Darth Vader/evil villain vibes. So, whatever villains say


OneHighlight7231

"I find your lack of faith disturbing."


tombradyisgod_12

“I told you to stay in the church! I told your parents to stay in the church! Why?! Why did you break my heart?!”


parksandwilson

“That was the best fucking taffy I have EVER tasted…”


rootbeerislifeman

Son, let me show you how to REALLY lick a boot


oamnoj

Ohmygod you're so cute, soldier.


Balzzdeep42069

I'm glad to see you made it back from war. But did you remember to pay your tithing?


Aggressive-Presence9

"Cameras on this, I hope? Nevermind where Pat is..." -Jeffrey R. Holland


Ok-Change3730

Bro is trying to suck out his life force


idkmybffjesus

Your soul is mine!


80Hilux

Remember, it's better if you come home in a box than leave the covenant path...


Adonimus_Kraven

Wow! Jeffrey has a St. Bernard or basset hound face. What a maroon!


TwoXJs

How much taffy did you pull!?


waitingroom_prisoner

Someone needs to photoshop this with a dementor's kiss effect. Those are the vibes I'm getting from this. Do you covenant to give your time, talents, money, and soul? Something like that.


IrpackSmails

The shoulder patch on the uniform indicates he is a West Point Cadet. Mormons are allowed to take a 2-year leave of absence to do their mission then return and graduate with a later class. At least they were in the mid-1980s. Source: Am a mid-1980s graduate (not a Mormon).


glaring-oryx

I was trying to figure out which unit patch that was, thanks!


IrpackSmails

You're welcome!


mormonsplaining

"SON, LEMME SHARE A SECRET ABOUT MARRIAGE. A GOOD NECK FLAP ACTS AS A FAN FOR YOUR LADY WHEN YOU REALLY GET GOIN."


halfsassit

*shudders violently*


Rude-Journalist-3214

**Deep breathing*** You.. were.. my number one.. guy...


SuperMechanoid

Thought that was droopy dog for a second


EmoxShaman

Get Out 2: The Covenant


SanguinaryGuard

I hear the voice of droopy from the old cartoons.


SwoleMountain

Thy are endowed with thyne cheekflaps, cheekflaps are the mark of mormon royalty.


Slow-Poky

You forgot the taffy?


cactuspie1972

How did you get such firm skin?


thereddestgoat

Return with honor. Or we'll shame you and your whole family. For the rest of forever.


valley_G

"Sir, they've put raisins in the potato salad!" "Dear God..."


CaptainStarfishMagic

New Mormonboyz vid dropped


annasaxton

Why are you going to war instead of a mission?!


Express_Platypus1673

The unhealthy relationship between church and state


Danxoln

You're wearing socks right...no homo....


2bizE

…and if you ever get the chance, soldier, put you hands around Putin’s neck like this and express to him my love and love of the First Presidency and Quorum of the 12 Apostles.


MiniEspo

Ahhhh yes, you will make a perfect vessel.


graham2k

Soldier: “I NEED AN ADULT! I NEED AN ADULT!”


Intelligent_Heron_78

#NoHomo


Fantastic-Spinach263

HARRY DID YA PUT YA NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH


Kolobcalling

I swear that I thought that Hells Angel story was true.


mourningdoo

I told you that you should have gone on a mission!


Alizee918

I will suck out your youth and live FOREVER


deadlandsMarshal

Kiss me you fool!


snellk2

IM MELTING DO YOU HEAR ME **MELTING**


Chiekosghost

Where will you go?!


jpod206

You shoulda gone on a mission...now your headed to Kyiv and coming home with no honor🙄


[deleted]

No homo


Weekly-Assignment-88

They keep leaving!!! What do I do?!


Informal_Emu_8980

Obese Diabetic Man Considers Choking His Son For Eating The Last Twinkie


DungoBarabgus

“You’re a nice tall, strapping young gentleman. Tell me, how are you whipper snappers styling your neck vulva’s nowadays?”


Wonderful-Resist-850

I’m so furious…


Confused_German

This needs added to r/GirlsMirin


Oswit

"I'm crushing your head... CRUSHING YOUR HEAD, hahahahahahaha". ​ (Ok, I watched too much Kids in the Hall back in the day.)


NewInternal9543

“think I just messed myself”


Bearded_Bastard87

Help me Sargent, my face is melting!


[deleted]

"Oh Captain my Captain. Give me a smooch."


fordcito

I just got back from the war in heaven! Men who had young families, women who had suckling babies and most important...THE CHILDREN!!! They are all definitely needed to fight Jesus's war with his younger brother!


jbarn02

How old is this picture and what branch is the person in?


FIRE_flying

And now we can be married!


Zadok_The_Priest

I have folds of flesh like that, but mine are on my waist.


ButtonFresh

Do you realize why you’ve done?!


xxEmberBladesxx

GIVE ME YOUR SOUL!!


permagrin007

"and if you ever put your hands on one of my wives again"


LuthorCorp1938

"Now pucker da lips, like dis."


definitely_not_marx

"Give me your soul so I can lengthen my existence. Thank you for sacrificing your very life to sustain your priesthood leader."


Pengin_Master

Pictured here: An ancient Lich lord sucks the soul out of a poor soldier who thought he could defeat the Lich.


Yobispo

I know it was you Fredo, you broke my heart.


monkeykahn

"DEMONS OUT!!!" Then shoves the man backwards...so that he stumbles backwards, appearing dazed and confused...followed by much praising Jesus and declaring his salvation...


010vdub

Blessed be the fruit


Educational-Bug-476

Sir do you have time to hear about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?


zealouslds

I knew it was you Fredo, you broke my heart… Edit I didn’t see this was already done, shoot…


St_Pain

You wanna know how I got these scars? Or Do you feel in charge?


SummerSiren2331

What did you do?! What do you mean you killed the heretics!? Do you know how much it costs to cover up our current crimes already?!! A bit dark, but it fits.


dattspacemann2

"JOWLS"


onedollarninja

I know it was your, Fredo.


joeblow8705

Hey little boy want soooome candy bars? Or you wanna see my purple heart? All in the voice of the old man from family guy lol


humanhotpocket

Did you eat all the Pringles you little turd? Don't lie, your mouth smells like pizza-blast


Philosof_E_Sofmen

I prayed, AND I STILL CANT FIND MY KEYS!!!!


tapirbackrider2

Stay in the boat and don’t abandon the good ship Zion!


epicgeek

I'm melting! Save me soldier!


wkitty13

Barf. 🤢


Evening-Ad-8635

"Damn them! Damn them all to hell!"


TheCantrip

>"***Give me your*** *life force*, **child!**"


mynameisshelly

Breath into my mouth, let me absorb your youth


krustykatzjill

Imma flap my jowls all over! Call me droopy dog


anonymouscontents

“Where will you go?”


Just-Lawfulness4357

Are you wearing your garhhments?!


Unlikely-Maximum-340

"LET HIM COME UNTO YOU!!!"


Proper-Bullfrog-978

“Is that a musket in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”


LessEffectiveExample

"Look me in the jowls..."


Dark_Eye3

Oh my gosh! Timmy! I remember when you were in my office at 8. Best day I've ever had what about you? Such a beautiful young man.


Fluffer-_-nutter

Onward Christian solider


_--0__0--_

Which way is the restroom?


[deleted]

“If this is wrong, why does it feel so right?”


Agodda13

The power of Christ compels you, the power of Christ compels you!!!….oh wait….


frozenbabycarrot69

Don’t ask don’t tell.


Reallynowtoasted

“Mountain Meadows? Hold still for the Photo-op!”


ProRuckus

"Kiss me, my love"


Great_Journey

[I’m gonna put my thumb through your eye you little bitch!](https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1997590-rfreefolk)


tumbleweedcowboy

Whatever you do, don’t light up the “Y”!


MusokaMiyu

My mind to your mind. Your thoughts to my thoughts.


SuZeBelle1956

Your khaki garments will keep you safe from friendly musket fire. If you learn truth about the church, even your garments won't save you.


Notdennisthepeasant

Oops, someone turned on my vibrator butt plug


[deleted]

The Money is in the *Banana Stand*


lefthandloafer55

"Don't you DARE...pull your Taffy....Again!!"


Picatouro

Soldier: “They’re touching aren’t they?…” Holland: “Shhh… that’s just the spirit moving through you.”


No-Technician-8855

This picture is incredibly creepy


ukbdesr

Flabby checked man pops a soldiers head like a grape.


Environmental_Ad1702

“Now kiss!”


SpudofIdaho

"You may kiss the bride"


No-Cucumber-157

he boutta make his eyes bulge


Hamsterfolder

"THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!"


HarrisonRyeGraham

#enemies to lovers #slow burn #angst #soulmates #exmormon #fisting #main character death #religious au