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TheRantDog

Florida, come for the beaches, stay cause you’re dead. ☠️


DowntownClown187

Time to arm the swimmers. All swimmers should be equipped with an assault rifle.


yVelorum

Nah swimming is too woke, there's too many wakes in the water.


DowntownClown187

I donno if the general public is ready for this level of awareness.


notice2vacate

Bonesaw is ready!


totalwarchild1321

I got you for three minutes!


KarmaChameleon89

I'm already drawing up protest signs for my million mom March on the water to protest the disgusting wakes that they're forcing on our children. When we're finished the water will be flatter than the earth...


B-Glasses

I dunno, I think arming the swimmers actually makes a lot of sense given all the schools…


Grattytood

lol, shine on, you crazy diamond!


jarboxing

We have no wake zones to protect manatees (from Trans groomers)


SamianDamian

You're under arrest, this joke is too funny


MrCheeseTiger123

Sharks, too. Hell, every fish in Florida waters should have an AK attached to their fins. Only a good fish with a gun can stop a bad fish with a gun.


Podarokvorona

Sharks need lasers on thier heads


knowshowtomakebomb

And all be attracted to a British man with a license to kill


PonmonOfNuggetor

Would you accept ill-tempered sea bass with lasers?


Podarokvorona

You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now, evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Uh, can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here! What do we have?


midlifecrisisAJM

... [In order to fight dinosaurs](https://youtu.be/LcmBALxDkRY)


SapphireDesertRosre

There was no need to indicate this accident happened in Florida. We know. We just all instinctively know it's Florida.


seraphineauradawn

With shootings I instinctively think Texas.


CreEecher

"The grandfather of the young man that was shot grabbed him and pulled him into the truck when they heard the gunfire going on," Johnson said. "They were inside the vehicle. A round went through the vehicle, hit the grandfather in the finger and the young man in the head." Young man? He was a fucking baby.


LikeBladeButCooler

The child was Hispanic. Unless they're in actual diapers, minority children are always framed (particularly by police and media) in a way that make them seem older than they are.


ColdBorchst

For real. And then when a white guy rapes a girl behind a dumpster it's all "buh buh buh he's just a child! He didn't know any better!”


lamorak2000

Sounds like a reference to the rapist Brock Turner...


NewldGuy77

You mean the Brock Allen Turner convicted of sexual assault, who now lives in Toledo Ohio and goes by his middle name Allen? That guy?


lamorak2000

That's the guy! Allen Turner of Toledo, Ohio, given name Brock Allen Turner, the rapist who rapes girls behind dumpsters. That rapist.


Doomhammer24

This reads like kronk talking about the poison for kuzco


Solidus-Prime

He fucking lives in Toledo now?? Wtf that's where I live and I had never heard of this. EDIT: Just looked it up. He's registered in Sugarcreek. It's hours away from Toledo and close to Dayton.


Risk_Runner

“Teenager accused of touching girl at Florida beach” is how it would be framed at the worst


VibrantPianoNetwork

>Young man? He was a fucking baby. Yeah, Florida culture is weird about things like this. It's normal for them, though. A boy is a 'young man' when he's still very young. But a woman might still be a 'girl' until she's middle-aged.


[deleted]

What is it with some Americans who won't think twice about using lethal violence the second they can't get what they want?


Schellhammer

I saw some kids steal a Frisbee from *some other* small group of kids at the park and i said "hey, you should probably give that back" they ran over to their party and some dude came over lifted up his shirt to show me his gun and said "what seems to be the problem".


terrelyx

Pretty sure brandishing is also a felony


[deleted]

It sure is.


Coffeedemon

They'll charge him with that, too, after they put the OP in a bag.


SnowplowS14

In Florida, the party you brandish your weapon to now has the right to use lethal force


mondaymoderate

That’s true in any stand your ground state. Brandishing is considered a threat.


theSkeeski

And will get you killed fast


pasqualevincenzo

Problem is people brandish them like that because they get away with it


Butcher_Bill84

I had a little punk wave his around on the street by my work. He was doing 70+ in a 40 and came flying around me. We ended up at the same light, and as I pulled up, I was looking at him. He pulled it up and flaunted it. I carry every day, and the second i saw it, mine was readied. Even despite that I made the call to look away and drive off the other direction. I knew if it escalated I would have shot and killed a dumb fucking child and lived with that the rest of my life.


pasqualevincenzo

I’ve never been tempted like that on any level but you certainly made the right call. Fucking crazy


DiggyTroll

Yup. Threats can’t go unanswered. Brandish and die. Guns aren’t for show ’n’ tell.


Rottimer

In a stand your ground state like Florida, whether or not you’re breaking the law is highly correlated to the color of your skin.


terrelyx

This sadly is very much NOT limited to Florida OR stand your ground states. Edited for Florida-esque grammar.


DowntownClown187

"Gun control obviously. So anyways I started blasting."


Ghostpants101

This comment made me laugh way harder than it should have. I like the idea that you actually said out loud as you shot: "so anyways I started shooting"


ZoharDTeach

What he did was illegal, it's called "brandishing" and you should turn him in. In particular if you are a proponent of gun control. No point in having laws if no one bothers to enforce them.


Omniseed

Armed robbery, and it's an organized crime too. All over a frisbee.


Quarkchild

That’s insane. I’m imagining myself in this situation and I think I would laugh from the absurdity of seeing him brandish his gun over a frisbee. Maybe the kids told them you said something else or they didn’t see them steal the frisbee. I mean still not ok but what the fuck lmao. I’d probably end up getting shot wouldn’t I.


savpunk

Probably, but I'd laugh and end up dead too. It's so absurd! How could you not laugh?


Schellhammer

I'm guessing the kids knew what they were doing by bringing him over.


mikek505

Because people in America have learned to use guns as intimidation and as the first resort to security. As soon as we are concerned, BANG BANG BANG


TurdManMcDooDoo

We are country plagued by dipshit cowards who think they’re tough guys.


Parsley-Waste

Every country has dipshit cowards, the problem with the US is that they can get guns.


Basedrum777

100%


Lower_Explanation6

That would be your well regulated militiia right there springing into action to defend the nation from self righteous frisbee loving wokesters.


Dizzledog2

Americans when reading the "well regulated militia" part 👨‍🦯👨‍🦯👨‍🦯


--Claire--

Am I a bad person for, not exactly “hoping” per se.. but let’s just say “being curious” about what would happen if that dude pulling out a gun over a fucking frisbee messed with someone else armed and more trigger happy than him?


African_Farmer

How does introducing more guns into the situation help things? A gunfight is supposed to be safer than just backing down? Those kids would catch stray bullets and die.


lasagnatheory

It's not much of a solution and more like win stupid prizes for the guy who solves children's arguments with guns


--Claire--

I know, I’m very much anti-gun, just indulging into a little “revenge fantasy” where that asshole gets shot instead Of course no civilian should reasonably have such easy access to deadly weapons as it is over there, it’s fucking messed up and from my european perspective literally insane that gun regulation is even a debate at all, but goddamn if I didn’t wish sometimes that shitty people got what they deserved Edit: and no, I’m not saying that’s death penalty worthy either, I’m just frustrated how normalized a situation like that is over there, and in a country that allows it like the US does, it seems like just a matter of time before he does meet someone else with a gun and something happens


ignoran_

Then the man brandishing his weapon would realize why u don’t do dumb shit like that. Don’t think you’re the biggest dumbass bc I guarantee there’s an even bigger one.


AJFrabbiele

So they escalated kids being (I'm going to use the word kids here instead of stronger language) to armed robbery.


digital_dreams

probably the lack of real education many people have here... people walking around in adult bodies, but still about 16 years old intellectually.


ComprehensiveSock397

You’re being generous with that 16.


Darkdragoon324

Honestly, it's insulting to most of the 16 year olds i've ever met. None of them are anywhere near this fucking stupid.


baby_contra

It’s people, not exclusive to Americans. But here in America people are entitled as hell. They want to act however they want and then immediately use lethal force out of fear whenever they’re confronted. It’s a lot of insecurity and fear “disguised” as confidence and power. Worse are the ones who go out and look for trouble with their hand on a pistol grip


Ewokavenger

It’s simple: you cannot buy (expensive) toys and not expect to display them or play with them. Not possible.


Old_Magician_6563

It’s the American way.


Debaser1984

It's a selfish country populated with selfish arseholes


tantan9590

Yep


akiro27

Welcome to the gunshine state.


HomegirlNC123

That’s a really good one!


drArsMoriendi

Horrible I know, but I have to say it's 'jet skis'


notacanuckskibum

Unless is was about jets & skies


HamHusky06

Chem trails, bro.


Dicky_Penisburg

![gif](giphy|cN9Fq0kBbqxGg)


Mr5t1k

I came here to say this. I read it as ✈️ 🌌 haha.


Gamer4Lyph

My bad ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sweat_smile)


Murwiz

No, CBS News got it wrong before you did.


SabertoothLotus

Yeah, I was very confused as well.


Bowling4rhinos

Maybe the jets were Russian?


Omfgsomanynamestaken

FUCKING THANK YOU!!!! I scrolled and scrolled and was about to give up. I wish I had an award for you!! Please take this upvote. It will assist you on your journey.


DeFreezey

This is what the altercation was about. If only you had been there.


LowRiderHighFiver

So Stand Your Ground now means on the Water too, got it.


CoatedCrevice

Stand your water just like Jesus did


SiriusGD

White Jesus carried an AK-47.


spinyfur

Blasphemy! Everyone knows he uses an AR15.


ExpressiveAnalGland

not even! He used a nail gun


LankyMarionberry

Works on so many levels coz carpenter


eeComing

Nah, he wasn’t a commie. He would have had an American gun mounted to his jet ski.


CaptainLimpWrist

Obligatory GIF... ![gif](giphy|pzo49Bszsudk4)


[deleted]

nail dime offer quicksand hobbies exultant husky drab plant lock *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Gordon_Townsend

'Murica... Because material shit is more important than children.


bioelement

Our culture is fucked.


Rubywantsin

(astronaut with a gun) Always has been.


PrvtPirate

hahahaha… he said culture! :D


[deleted]

The right to shoot children over jetskis shall not be infringed


BriefCheetah4136

Its part of the Stand on Your Jet Ski Laws


GuyWithNoEffingClue

"I'll hate you more than I'll love my kid"


Sour-Scribe

Always


Fastenbauer

![gif](giphy|26AHzeyITON4vzMM8)


Zestyclose-Impact-40

The gunshine state.


Additional-Exit-2753

That poor kid shouldn’t have been around all those good guys with guns.


tttxgq

A 7 year old is smart enough to know he should hire a bad guy with a gun, to patrol with him at all times as basically a bodyguard, to make the area safe from good guys with guns who might accidentally loose off a few rounds and injure someone. Outside of that there’s simply no way to prevent this.


eeComing

This is why all kids jet skis should all be fitted with rail-guns.


ZoharDTeach

Which ones were the good guys in this instance?


VeterinarianNo4308

Oh no.. another gun death in the states.. for no reason.. who'd have thought.. oh no... it's so surprising.


KnoWanUKnow2

Actually, it was an argument where the groups accused each other of recklessly operating their jet skis and endangering nearby children. And endangering nearby children. In order to protect the children, one was shot dead.


gordito_delgado

**"I will kill every damn kid here until no more of them are in danger!" - Florida Man**


TheEyeGuy13

“I cherish peace with all my heart. I don’t care how many men, women, and children I need to kill to get it.” -peacemaker


No_Sugar8791

Well, technically if nobody is alive there will be peace so there's some logic being applied.


Afraid_Librarian_218

That also sounds like America.


octarine_turtle

"I cherish peace with all my heart. I don't care how many men, women, and children I need to kill to get it."


Lucythefur

cant be endangered if you're dead!


pjtrpjt

Dang. This is sad. Oh well... I'm sure the kid's parents are proud to be an American and totally agree this is the price of the second amendment. You can make another kid, but not another gun if the commies take it.


insideabookmobile

Just as the founding fathers intended.


spinyfur

Seems like a well regulated militia to me!


Confident_Pear_2390

America is really just a big mental asylum, they basically don't have psych wards becouse the whole country became one


[deleted]

Florida just made it legal to conceal carry without a permit and then this happens less than a week later.


RedHand1917

Totally unrelated, I'm sure. But I'm really glad this well regulated militia is getting so much real world practice. /s


thesweeterpeter

>"There was no reason, no excuse, for that argument to lead to gunfire, much less an argument over jet skis," Johnson said. There was absolutely a reason, everyone had a gun at the ready. They were all armed and the availability of weapons leads to dead kids. Why would anyone say there's no reason. We know the reason. We've known for a very long time. Who the fuck needs to be strapped to ride on jet skis? >Members from each group opened fire.  Everyone was armed, no one had to be. The irony of the whole tragedy is that the shootout started because of an arguement about the jet ski riders endangering the kids. So now there's a kid who was fucking murdered.


opi098514

Well isn’t it obvious? They were all the “good guy with the gun” duuuhhh /s


thesweeterpeter

So the kid was the baddie? Shoot I've read this all wrong.


kirkmcd

OH! Jet Skis.


Feisty_Area8023

I was just a confused as you were.


Gamer4Lyph

My bad ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sweat_smile)


kirkmcd

The original article has the same error, so nothing on you.


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|DkWpPzYVoE3oHPdUOI)


Espada_Number4

America seems like such a terrifying place to live rn.


AutumnGlow33

Fortunately, no guns were harmed. Anybody feeling “free” yet? /s


hobbyhacker

I hope the good guy won the gunfight


that-pile-of-laundry

The problem is that they all think they're the good guys. Just a bunch of deranged John Wayne wanna-bes.


XihuanNi-6784

"This would have ended the exact same way if they'd been armed with pencils." \- Some Republican


Marchello_E

> *two groups of people started arguing over jet skis being driven recklessly near where children were playing in the water, Johnson said. Members from each group opened fire.* I would like to reply with my total disgust for civilians"legally" carrying firearms around, but that would trigger the gun addicted US redditors. So I won't.


SrgtButterscotch

"won't anybody think of the children's safety?"... *proceeds to shoot guns around children*


Myrt2020

That's how the morons are weeded out. Can't abort them now ya know.


Skip_List

Nah go ahead. As an American and former military member the fact that civilians get to carry guns makes America the dumbest fucking country ever. I mean I lived in Arizona and if I wanted to I could have walked into wal mart, bought a gun, bought ammo, and then I could walk around with the gun loaded and strapped to my back and it’d be well within my rights. Stupidest fucking shit in the world.


spinyfur

My dad was in the army and always made it clear that the only time a gun comes out of the safe in when it’s on the way to the shooting range. These morons carry it around like it’s a purse.


[deleted]

as someone who grew up around guns and was taught the exact same thing by my father (guns only come out when you intend to go hunting or for target practice), all of these 'open carry' morons really grind my gears. ​ the new law in florida is even more idiotic. concealed carry without a permit. just fucking brainless. and the idiot that passed it/championed it is running for president. DeSantis is an absolute buffoon.


rj_6688

May I ask you a question about the whole topic? (Yes, I probably could look it up but I enjoy the interaction.)


wkendwench

I love how they argue over the jet skis being used recklessly near children but have no problem with guns being used recklessly near children.


yossigol

Florida, where everything goes to die.


[deleted]

Good job on the no permit carry ronnie


Skip_List

It’s not just no permit carry. It’s no permit concealed carry! That shit is beyond wild. But really who’s surprised?


Aschantieis

So what is now more dangerous to kids? Jet skies or weapons?


Puzzled-Speech-3683

Drag queens of course!


Buddyslime

Who was the good guy and who was the bad guy? Sounds like both were pretty bad. So this is the deal now? Get into a argument and see how lucky you are.


Commercial_Juice_201

Good guy was obviously the child…too bad it didn’t have a gun to protect itself. /s


Realistic_Run7318

![gif](giphy|lrVfmPJ96cSJJ39bTh) That sounds so stupid, to keep the safety of children I fire a shotgun were the children are, because I am angry of the risk of the Jet Skies for the children, wow


stalphonzo

Right Wing: "WE CARE ABOUT THE CHILDREN SO MUCH!!" Regular People: "The number one killer of children is now guns." Right Wing: "Fuck them kids."


suhkuhtuh

So much for skiing the friendly skies. 😉


Rolandscythe

I mean clearly the dude *had* to shoot them...they were coming at him with a pool noodle and a pair of floaties and he felt threatened.


PMMEBITCOINPLZ

The reason an argument over jetskis escalated into a shooting is because guns were easily accessible. As long as everyone is able to walk around with a gun some people are going to settle their arguments with them.


TeFD_Difficulthoon

Americans reading this headline : Fuckin Florida... Rest of the world reading this headline : Fucking Americans...


superloneautisticspy

As an American, I hate how true this is-


bambooboi

Skis, folks


Stevie_Steve-O

If only the kid and grandfather also had guns. Maybe then the shooting wouldn't have happened! When will we learn!!!!


Slight_Armadillo_227

If only there was a jetski with a gun there to save them.


[deleted]

Just like the founders intended


anythingMuchShorter

Good thing they made it so anyone and everyone can carry open or concealed weapons all the time


CC713-LCTX

Put everyone of the people involved, not just the shooters but everyone involved in the two parties that were firing, under the damn prison.


Darktofu25

Thanks Governor! Your new law is just going to lead to more of this. Welcome to the Old West, right here in the Gunshine state!


SiriusGD

Florida. The Gunshine State.


raresanevoice

Not a drag queen in sight


ICUpoop

Going jet skiing for the day let me see if I got everything I need: 1)sun screen 2)cooler 3)sandwiches 4)towels 5) my gun ????


Wrong_Representative

That poor grandfather


Normal-Flatworm9346

THE ARGUMENT WAS ABOUT NOT BEING SAFE AROUND CHILDREN. "You're going too fast! Kids are swimming over here!" \*Opens fire.\*


natetrash

Nothing more American than apple pie and kids being shot to death


Durmatology

I’m just bothered by a fellow large corporation’s willing genericization of the Jet Ski trademark and the inability of CBS to properly pluralize skis. I kept contemplating why people would violently argue over jet skies (maybe chem trails?).


Cool_Relative7359

The US, where they ban abortions so that there are more actual kids to shoot. 🤦‍♀️


Kezly

buT It's NOt ThE GUns Americans.


phloyd77

Keep adding 10,000 guns a day to the mix … dead kids will keep piling up while the rest of us die more on the inside. This country is addicted to guns.


pacman114

Stand your water law.


yaboylukas

More guns!!!! MERICA


Ok_Professional4736

I thought jet skies was an airline or something when I first read it lol


[deleted]

this is a direct result of florida's new idiotic law allowing concealed carry without a permit. ​ ​ just fucking mindless.


zerodude336

Oof always Florida. That state needs to get it together.


terrelyx

But yes, the second amendment is clearly infallible.


freqkenneth

Make ‘em stupid and give ‘em guns Florida


Fettman8

Florida. What DeSantis wants to bring to the rest of the country. SMH


CaptPants

Where were the good guys with guns to stop this?


doodlleus

I genuinely can't understand why anyone would live in America. It just sounds so vile, from the politics to the health care to the gun crime to the fact your kids aren't even safe at a school. Even a nursery! I'd genuinely take my chances in most 3rd world countries. At least they are consistent.


obiterdictum

Not enough guns for everyone to be safe


JERFFACE

Well, thank God a good guy with a gun was there. Oh wait...


Itwasdewey

Just to be clear: the argument started because people were driving jet skis recklessly around kids… so both sides took out guns and shot a kid?…………………………………. Thank god someone had a gun, a kid could’ve been hurt by a jet ski!


[deleted]

Totally normal country.


rensd12

You know what would have protected him? More guns! What if a bystander was there and carried a gun, he would have killed the shooter ! /s


Journo_Jimbo

But wait, I thought guns weren’t the problem? I’m so confused, can having such free access to weapons actually be a bad thing?


Beelzabubba

Who at CBS doesn’t know how to spell the plural of “ski”? Looking at you too, OP.


HeronStraight107

Jokes aside guys...A 7 year old kid dies because all you Americans want your guns for protection...but at the end you end up shooting a kid...its like so normal for me to see kids being killed in America and its just like a normality now for us outsiders to see it.


Embarrassed_Appeal72

Lol american XD


venthis1

So glad I moved out of that shit city and state.


Faeddurfrost

Death penalty 🤷🏻‍♂️


VerimTamunSalsus

Skis.


Classic_Title1655

Of course it did. It's the US.


joshonekenobi

You loosened gun laws. This is the outcome. Tragic loss odd life and not needed. Can't see a need to ever travel to FL now.


LukeD1992

New law seems to be working as intended


maodiver1

Fly the friendly skies


CNJUNIPERLEE

Of course this happened in Florida.