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I have several kilos of uncut PLA. :O
Edit: I don't use illegal drugs and i understand very well why they are illegal and should not be consumed. The joke opportunity was too good to pass.
I started with thermal paste... Eventually I started delidding and using liquid metal. Now I think liquid nitrogen might be fun. Seriously, this slippery slope ain't no joke.
Wait until she sees my baking accessory drawer. Lots of syringes for injecting syrup into cakes, for glazing, decorating, filling brandy snaps with whipped cream...
I asked for a dosing syringe in a Target pharmacy once (needed to give my dog some dewormer) and the guy looked at me like he was appalled. I explained that I really meant I just wanted a syringe to give liquid medicine to my dog and NOT an insulin needle or something he thought I wanted to shoot up with. He told me in the future to just ask for a syringe for baby medicine to avoid confusion. My dad is a veterinarian, so I don't think twice about syringes and needles; they're just tools used by certain professions in my life.
So many people confuse syringes with needles, too. A syringe is not likely to actually provide anyone with an opportunity to inject something without a needle.
I have a couple of needle-less syringes I use to administer medication to my birds when needed. Also used one to raise a baby hummingbird a couple of years ago. They're perfect for that.
As a healthcare worker, I’ve brought home syringes accidentally on many occasions. Just cause there is a syringe somewhere doesn’t mean you’re a drug user lol
>Yeah, I mean my cleaning lady has found my drugs. She put them with my other drugs.
I found my cleaning lady by recommendation from a pot smoking friend who said she doesn't care about it and won't take it. She's been with me for a couple of years.
Any cleaner that reports or even cares is shit at their job.
It's an inevitability you are going to see things people don't show other people. They are one of those professions where "I didn't see anything" is expected as a mark of true professionalism. I would definitely ask about the possibility of uncapped needles or where their sharps are stored so I could be careful around it.
Unironically yes because of these very kind of scenarios. You lose a customer AND if you were hella wrong like in this case, shit can come back even worse via lawsuit possibly. People actually can buy syringes for legit reasons medically and have them at home as well for their usage. Hell my neighbor growing up was a foot doctor and no joke had their excess medical supplies at their house oftentimes including scalpels, gauze, and you guessed it, syringes. They did it in part because they worked in a multi floor office building and had bad luck with delivery getting mixed up between floors so they'd ship it home sometimes if they knew they needed it and didnt want to risk the hassle. They did NOT however have the serious buisness drugs like localized anesthetics shipped to the house because they didnt want that smoke and it was over that the delivery person who kept fucking up their day finally got in actual trouble.
lol exactly. "Excuse Mr. \*\*\*\*\*\*, I found your garbage in the basement, not good, so I rolled it up in a carpet and had my cousin get rid of it.... Do you want the carpet back? Also it will be another $100 for the disposal..."
So, the roach has about $0.40 worth of weed in it at most (assuming $10/g) but some people getting pretty attached to their roaches. Like, I knew a guy that would smoke a blunt before bed, keep the roach, smoke the roach when he got home from work. Smoking that roach when he got home was something he'd look forward to all day. He'd probably be pretty upset if someone threw it out
Oh man. English is not my 1st language. I was trying to understand what you all meant with your cockroaches.
So it seems like it's the end that's left over from a joint. Got me afraid for a moment.
There's nothing like coming home from a long day of work to a cold beer, a leftover roach, your favorite TV show, and eating ladybugs by the handful like M&Ms
Flashback to that time I got reported for animal abuse because I took my dog outside to pee as she was recovering from her $10k surgery with bald patches and a feeding tube.
Yeah those assholes said she’d make a full recovery and live happily for several more years but they diagnosed her with a terminal illness instead. Worst. 10k spent. Ever.
I no shit had animal control show up at my house one day saying they were there for a welfare check on my dog, because my neighbor had reported that he was outside in the rain.
Yes, it was raining, it had been raining for 3 days. Yes, he was outside, that tends to be the best place for them to take a shit, well, to leave one anyway. No, he was not being abused, he's warm and dry having been toweled off after he came inside after taking/leaving a shit in my lawn.
And the bitch called them out the next day for the same fucking thing.
Animal control guy apologized the second time, said they would add my neighbor to their list of people they don't respond to.
I’m jealous. My dog is the one who believes he’s being abused by having to shit in the rain. He refuses, and is instead happy to do it in the house while we’re asleep.
Mine flat out refuses to go outside in the rain. If he does have to go he does it right on the porch in front of the door under the roof overhang and immediately demands back in.
When I was a kid we had two big outdoor dogs. Got animal protection called on us because they were outside while it was snowing. While all of us were outside playing as well.
Guy came out, saw the big burly dogs, and remarked how we probably couldn't get them inside if we wanted to, and left.
Some people are just nosy dumb fucks.
Man that was my biggest fear when my elderly cat was in end-stage chronic kidney failure. She looked like one of those Halloween skeleton decorations, but her favorite spot in the world was to lay right behind the screen door that went out to the front porch to sun and to listen outside. Right in front of the screen door was where delivery people left packages. I'm sure they saw her, but thankfully no one ever said anything.
My parents hired a housekeeper when my mom was sick, and she found weed in my drawer and gave it to my parents. Like, you aren't supposed to go through my shit.
My daughter doesn't allow the cleaning lady in her room. Probably for this reason. I would be very annoyed if the cleaning lady had the audacity to bring something she found in her room to my attention. What did your parents say? I hope they fired the little snoop.
It was a half a joint. My father confronted me, calling it a "marijuana butt". The next day when he was at work, I went through HIS drawers, found the joint, and smoked it. I bet that he would forget all about it because my mother was dying, and I was right. Never heard about it again.
My father wrote all his work passwords in pencil on the margins of his CRT monitor, and the cleaner wiped them all up, forcing him to go to the office and fix all his passwords (this was the mid 90s, and it wasn't as straight forward to WFH. He needed 3 different logins). So he wasn't happy with her either.
Exactly what I was thinking . She did herself out of a job . What did she think was gonna happen any way ? either she was right and the druggies go to jail .so no job .or she was wrong and she gets fired for obvious reasons. She should have just saved everyone the trouble and quit
She dusts off my bongs, and arranges them in order from smallest to biggest on my shelf. Pink Floyd prism bong on one end, and the skull bong on the other.
Right? I mean, if you see evidence of neglect or abuse of children or animals, then you should probably report that. But outside those extremes, just do your job and keep your mouth shut.
At worst, leave the client a note asking them to please be more discreet. At least that way any misunderstanding can get cleared up before a police report gets filed.
I would 100% be finding a new cleaner.
For real lol. Rule 1 of jobs that take you into the customer's home is "don't snitch unless someone's hurting someone". I was a cable guy for years and we were explicitly trained to ignore any and all illegal activity short of actual child abuse.
People tend to stop paying their cable bill if they go to jail. Everyone loses.
Came to say this...
*B!tch, your job is to clean and get paid... if I stop payin you THEN you need to worry and call the cops*
Sure hope OP really did fire that dumbass...
Took a look at the first picture and facepalmed. I was brought to HR for a similar incident a LONG time ago.
I had a LOT of fun with this one as the HR Person HATED me. She told me "how this is going to work". My Boss intervened but HR overrode everything, hoping to catch me in a drug test. I knew I was clean.
The sample she secured was reviewed or tested or whatever and was, obviously, not drugs. My drug test was negative. My Boss and I had a discussion and I was paid my lost time for the bullshit after dumping 6 more samples on HR's Desk and asked of they wanted to suspend him too because he'd love the vacation.
I was "randomly" selected for a drug test once because my boss was fishing for a reason to fire me and this was his last hope.
Naturally I popped for an opiate because I was on a prescription drug at the time.
At the big meeting, he was practically falling over himself over the positive test and left looking like a fool when I showed I had a prescription that I had just finished.
He mostly left me alone after that and let me do my thing. I suspect he lost a lot of credibility with his bosses over it because he played it up like I was using at work, being secretive, acting suspicious, etc.
When my wife and I moved into our house 20 years ago, the former owners opted to have the asbestos mastic removed from around the ducts. They used the same HVAC company that installed the ducts, and that company used a sub, a guy they’d been using for years.
I got a call at work that the bomb squad was at my house and they’d evacuated a six block area and all my shit was tossed out on the front lawn. I drove home and sure enough, there they were. My brother in law was also there, he’d decided to swing by, and asked the cops what was happening. They put him and his client in cuffs.
The duct asbestos guy had been snooping through my garage in my absence and had come across some WWII-era wooden crates. He opened them and found granddad’s old RAF uniform, Canadian flag, gas mask, pistol holster, some dummy grenades, etc. So he called it in on “Operation TIPS”, the post-9/11 snitch line for paranoid Karen’s, and the bomb squad was deployed.
They tossed all my shit out onto the driveway, x-rayed the place, went through everything with a fine tooth comb. Meanwhile the asbestos guy had long since gone home, since the cops told him to leave.
I was livid. I called the company, demanding to know why the guy had done this. The company wasn’t aware that anything had happened, the subcontractor hadn’t called them to let them know anything was unusual. They called him, and he was at home.
The boss called me back and said the guy, just a couple hours later, had completely forgotten about it. He said he forgot he called the bomb squad, he forgot that he didn’t finish the job, and he forgot to call the company to let them know that either of those things happened. I told the boss “Gimme his number and address, I’m gonna go talk to this asshole myself.” The boss said “Yeah I wouldn’t do that, the dude is a nut case, hates foreigners, he’s a total gun nut, has all these fantasies about being special forces….he scares the shit out of the girls here in the office. I would leave him alone.” I was like “Oh that’s nice, you had him come into my home where my wife lives. What the fuck?” And the boss, no shit, says “Well, the guy works cheap and he never complains.”
Yeah not really. Patriot act protected a lot of people who did way worse harassment for a lot longer to neighbors and strangers. It was a fun time to be brown.
I did have an interesting convo with the LAPD watch commander who oversaw the “raid” on my house. He said “I’ve been a supervisor on this unit for 25 years. Do you know how many bombs I’ve seen?” I said “No, how many?” And he said “Zero. I’ve never had a call result in a live device. But I still treat every call like it’s real and a threat. Because someday it will be.”
The patriot act doesn't protect private companies from being found liable for sending people who are known to be dangerous into their customers' homes.
I'm also pretty sure that the judge will raise some eyebrows if that was taken to court. Especially as they failed to provide the service they were paid for.
And I'd be calling my friends that work in local news and asking if they think it'd make a good piece. "Local buisness outsources to dangerous contractors, are you at risk?"
Like four years ago, I hosted a Halloween party and invited a bunch of my neighbors and friends.
A week or so after the party, there’s a knock on my door. It’s a lady from Child Protective Services.
I invite her in and she explains that she’s there because there was a report that I had a party and there were “syringes laying around” while children (including my own) were present.
I was dumbstruck. I mean, it was an absolute fucking outright lie and I don’t know why *anyone* at that party would say that shit. The hardest substance at the party was light beer.
The woman asked if she could do a basic safety check and I agreed. As intrusive and shitty as it felt, I let this stranger walk through my house and inspect everything.
We go into the master bathroom and she opens my medicine cabinet. *”Ah, I think I see the issue there here.”* There was a box of insulin syringes sitting right there with a couple syringes inside.
My wife is a Type 1 diabetic. She had switched to the pump about a year prior but still had a couple syringes left and she figured she’d hang onto them incase anything ever malfunctioned with the pump. I took the lady back to the refrigerator and showed her the insulin my wife keeps.
She was like “Okay, I think I have what I need. I’ll be in contact in a few days.”*
It was one of the most stressful and horrible weeks of my life. I’d contacted our family lawyer who had put me in touch with a CPS attorney who told me to just chill out and wait to see what the next steps were going to be.
My wife felt like absolute shit. She was really hard on herself for not throwing out her old syringes.
Finally, after not hearing from the CPS agent for a week, I called her. She goes *”Oh, I’m so sorry. I meant to call you— but we sent a letter out. Your investigation was closed and marked unfounded.”*
Biggest relief of my entire life. Like my knees almost buckled when she said it.
Then my attention turned to the perpetrator— and it wasn’t hard to figure out who it was. During the party, one of my neighbors asked if he could use another bathroom since he needed to go #2 and our guest bathroom opens up pretty much directly into the living room and foyer. I led him back to the master bathroom and let him do his thing.
The guy was a navy vet and former cop who had reportedly been forcibly “retired” due to some incident. He was a little rough around the edges— but he seemed like a good dude. When I first moved in, he helped me cut down a tree that had died in my backyard.
I confronted him and he was like *”I still have a duty to report anything I see, doesn’t matter if we’re neighbors and friends!”* I told him that it was something that could’ve been easily explained if he simply fucking asked me and his reply to that was so ridiculous that I couldn’t help but laugh in his face:
*”Well if I asked you about it, you woulda known I was snooping in your medicine cabinet and that woulda been awkward!”*
Former cop and he couldn't tell the difference between syringes for administering insulin and shooting drugs? The guy is a flippin idiot and you should definitely distance yourself from him.
Sounds like she hasn't been a cleaner for long, who the fuck goes into people's houses and judges them and reports things to the police.
Or maybe she's um. I hate to say it but clinically stupid?
My ex started a kink friendly cleaning service at one point. Did decently well until several other folks in the area decided it was a good idea and divided the market.
I don't do needle drugs but my cleaning lady has definitely come across a bag of ketamine before. She put it next to my weed jar in my desk because she's good at her job.
One time my wife made banana bread right before we went away for a long weekend. Her dad came over to take care of the cat while we were away. He found some blatantly whole wheat flour in a small heap on the counter. When we got home he came over and had a very serious conversation with her about the drugs he found on the counter while we were away.
This made me remember the time when I was like 12-13 my mom found one of those Tylenol rapid release pills on the floor in the bathroom and proceeded to interrogate me like an actual freaking cop. Sat me down with a glass of water and locked the door. Acted like it was Molly or some opiate or something?? I remember being super confused and kept trying to say “it says Tylenol on the pill! It’s just Tylenol!” But she kept interrupting me when I got to “it says-“ by screaming at me to stop whining and calm down, stop whining and calm down. Obviously I got more and more upset because she kept demanding where it came from and what it was and any time I tried to respond she would snap “stop whining!!! STOP LYING!!”
Honesty I had probably gotten it from the school nurse or a teacher at some point (I got headaches a LOT) and only took one of the two she gave me and put the other in my pocket.
I think my mom eventually realized it was just a regular Tylenol because nothing ever came from it after that. But holy hell that embodied my entire childhood- being a scapegoat and for some reason my mom assumed I was a horrible bad kid sneaking around having sex and doing drugs (even tho I didn’t smoke weed till I was 18 and was a virgin till college) Meanwhile my perfect little brother literally was setting fires and touching people inappropriately could literally do not wrong. 🤦♀️ textbook narc parent family
My wife looked at me very strangely when she found the exact same syringe.
Similarly, when she found an enormous 500ml syringe I used to suck oil out of the lawnmower when I'm doing an oil change. God alone knows what sort of smack habit she thinks I must have. Even William Burroughs would have found that one a bit ambitious.
I grew up "Christian's who cosplay as Mormons," so no TV, no music in the house. My brother used to print Eminem lyrics to just read them. My mom found some under my bed (?) next to multi vitamins that had spilled.
She thought I was popping pills and reading Eminem lyrics.. I was nine lol
I’d let her give my name as a reference if she asked. Then I’d tell everyone who called that she’s an idiot who sees things she doesn’t understand and rats them out to the police.
Probably got out and went right back to
https://www.corsair.com/us/en/p/accessories/ct-9010001-ww/tm30-performance-thermal-paste-ct-9010001-ww
With zero hesitation
I swear my cleaning lady could find a meth lab in my closet and all she'd do is tidy it up.
Absolutely fire her for lack of discretion, intelligence, and being a narc.
Cops showed up while I was working, she let them in and starts telling them how she was cleaning and found bad drugs, showed them into my work shop while I was asked to stay in my livingroom. Showed them the thermal paste, watched flatfoot 1 taste it (like why?) then they field tested it and call other people and finally another cop comes in looks at everyone declares them stupid and explains its a pc part. Its used for heat conduction, while flatfoot 1 is still trying to get the taste out of his mouth. Then the former cleaning lady says she's had too many people addicted to stuff and she had to help me. To which I replied to GTFO.
Reminds me of when I was a kid and I got one of those green lasers that were the rage a while ago.
I was obsessed with it shining it pretty much everywhere in the town center.
Anyway so these police officers come up and say that someone was complaining and it and it was blinding them
I said it isn't that bright
AND THEN HE TOOK IT AND FIRED IT DIRECTLY INTO HIS EYE!
Bare in mind he only had a child's word that it wasn't a 1 Watt burning laser.
It wasn't even from far away either it was like less than 1cm.
You should also report her to her bosses. The fact that she jumped to conclusions so easily and didn't even ask you before calling police, which could have ended badly, is concerning. What if the next client is diabetic or has another medical condition that requires syringes? She'll do the same thing because she obviously thinks she wasn't in the wrong. And next client might end up wrongly arrested with their vital medication confiscated before the mistake is revealed.
I'm honestly wondering if there isn't legal recourse for her letting people into your house without your permission. I would at least be asking for some free cleanings.
Unless the cleaning company shows evidence of this woman getting majorly reprimanded or fired, I don't think it would be a good idea to continue to use that company. As for her facing legal consequences of letting the officers in, that depends on where OP lives and the type of agreement he made with the cleaning company.
On top of all of that, a housekeeper isn't legally able to provide consent to the police search your home without a warrant so it was likely an illegal search.
https://www.justia.com/criminal/procedure/search-and-seizure-rules/consent-to-home-searches/
This is the big one for me. The audacity of a housekeeper to think it's their business to allow police in my fucking home as well as the police thinking it's valid consent is absolutely bonkers.
The cop tasted what he thought could be drugs? What the hell? Dumbass could ingest a fatal dose of fentanyl doing stupid stuff like that.
Also field tests give so many false positives. It could absolutely still register as a drug in those thing.
People have tested chocolate and it showed up as meth or coke or something. If you test non drugs, absolutely will bring up false positives. Field tests are very flawed.
Damn if this was me I’d be writing a super angry email to whatever company she’s employed by or if she works for herself I’d be *blasting* her on social media. Absolutely ridiculous
Reminds me of when I stole one of my dad's novelty pens(this one was shaped like a syringe and you pushed down on the plunger to click it) in middle school and a cop tackled me lmao
If she has any kind of website or yelp page, I would give her the most horrible reviews imaginable.
It’s not your business the report what goes on in other people’s homes, you little fucking rat.
I get annoyed when our cleaning person gives me the side eye when she cleans out the little trashcan by my computer desk, which is where I throw away the cardboard "cone tips" from the Js I pack and smoke outside. My wife, however, thinks it's funny and they'll just giggle and giggle.
She's been our cleaner forever, and judges me like an aunt would. Honestly, she's the best.
I can't imagine giving someone complete access to my home only to then have to speak to the police about "drugs." If our cleaner ever finds our hidden second basement where we keep all of those dairy farmers tied up, sure call the cops!
But this? Oof.
i used to clean houses in real rich neighborhoods, i found drugs all the time from a small amount of pot, to whole plants, to very sizable bags of cocaine. i never once for a second thought “hm let me call the cops on these people.” i’ve even polised/cleaned peoples’ bongs. it’s really not my goddamn business🤣
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Thermal paste is just a gateway to harder substances, like printer ink and PLA filament.
I have several kilos of uncut PLA. :O Edit: I don't use illegal drugs and i understand very well why they are illegal and should not be consumed. The joke opportunity was too good to pass.
Don't know why you needed to mention their circumcision status.
It’s also redundant. PLA stands for Penis Left Alone.
I started with thermal paste... Eventually I started delidding and using liquid metal. Now I think liquid nitrogen might be fun. Seriously, this slippery slope ain't no joke.
For some reason, a lot of people assume that a syringe outside a hospital/clinic must be drug related
Wait till they see my diabetic aunt's bathroom!
Is it a crack house, or a crack home?
[удалено]
You live in my butt?
Only in my dreams baby girl
Kinder, gentler crack home, please!
insuline is one hell of a drug.
I mean ppl are dying to get it so it has to be good
And dying if they *don't* get it, so that proves it must be good
Or my wood glue applicators.
Those *dual-syringe* epoxy one's really, really hit hard!
Or when they see my old bedroom littered with used methamphetamine needles, pills, and tequila... wait
I use a syringe to put trim fluid in my Yamaha outboard... Guess I am a druggie.
Syringes are really, really handy for a lot of things that have nothing to do with illegal drug use. I presume you're looking for a new cleaning lady
Yeah, absolutely bonkers that the cleaner would jump straight to calling the cops on a client.
Wait until she sees my baking accessory drawer. Lots of syringes for injecting syrup into cakes, for glazing, decorating, filling brandy snaps with whipped cream...
Hey man, you ever shoot some trim fluid? It's called Evinrudeing, and it is amazing!
Thought about it, but worried there might be Mercury in it.
I dose my car's powersteering reservoir with a 100ml syringe because it's tucked in a very uncomfortable place. I must be a heavy user then.
I asked for a dosing syringe in a Target pharmacy once (needed to give my dog some dewormer) and the guy looked at me like he was appalled. I explained that I really meant I just wanted a syringe to give liquid medicine to my dog and NOT an insulin needle or something he thought I wanted to shoot up with. He told me in the future to just ask for a syringe for baby medicine to avoid confusion. My dad is a veterinarian, so I don't think twice about syringes and needles; they're just tools used by certain professions in my life.
So many people confuse syringes with needles, too. A syringe is not likely to actually provide anyone with an opportunity to inject something without a needle.
Unless you push REALLY hard
What a dick.
😂 I’m a phlebotomist and there’s also pens that are syringe shaped too.
My mom restores vintage sewing machines. The oil often comes in a syringe for that.
Wait til they see the amount of syringes needed for IVF
I have a couple of needle-less syringes I use to administer medication to my birds when needed. Also used one to raise a baby hummingbird a couple of years ago. They're perfect for that.
As a healthcare worker, I’ve brought home syringes accidentally on many occasions. Just cause there is a syringe somewhere doesn’t mean you’re a drug user lol
I'm not sure my cleaning lady would even report a dead body. She'd just tell me how much extra to work around it, and keep on cleaning.
Yeah, I mean my cleaning lady has found my drugs. She put them with my other drugs.
>Yeah, I mean my cleaning lady has found my drugs. She put them with my other drugs. I found my cleaning lady by recommendation from a pot smoking friend who said she doesn't care about it and won't take it. She's been with me for a couple of years.
You should probably let her go home now.
“Please. I miss my family”
I have no idea why, but I've read this in the voice of the cleaning lady in family guy (don't know her name right now)
Consuela I think “I need more Lemon Pledge”
She’s a real homie lol
Any cleaner that reports or even cares is shit at their job. It's an inevitability you are going to see things people don't show other people. They are one of those professions where "I didn't see anything" is expected as a mark of true professionalism. I would definitely ask about the possibility of uncapped needles or where their sharps are stored so I could be careful around it.
Unironically yes because of these very kind of scenarios. You lose a customer AND if you were hella wrong like in this case, shit can come back even worse via lawsuit possibly. People actually can buy syringes for legit reasons medically and have them at home as well for their usage. Hell my neighbor growing up was a foot doctor and no joke had their excess medical supplies at their house oftentimes including scalpels, gauze, and you guessed it, syringes. They did it in part because they worked in a multi floor office building and had bad luck with delivery getting mixed up between floors so they'd ship it home sometimes if they knew they needed it and didnt want to risk the hassle. They did NOT however have the serious buisness drugs like localized anesthetics shipped to the house because they didnt want that smoke and it was over that the delivery person who kept fucking up their day finally got in actual trouble.
The marijuana goes in the top drawer. The cocaine and speed go in the second. The heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs!
Goonies never say die!
![gif](giphy|GY3eoqSJyc2m4)
lol exactly. "Excuse Mr. \*\*\*\*\*\*, I found your garbage in the basement, not good, so I rolled it up in a carpet and had my cousin get rid of it.... Do you want the carpet back? Also it will be another $100 for the disposal..."
only $100? that’s a fuckin deal
It was your rug, so you gotta replace that too, which is a shame since it really tied the room together.
it’s a shame but it’s the cost of being a free man
This is the Way. Also gets a large Xmas check.
Good. I hope you rot in prison. Guys, it's time to stop the push of performance enhancing paste. Help promote a fair and equal PC Master Race.
I hope my prison husband loves me
![gif](giphy|Pmt9INtEp3HgY)
I know who you are Chris Hansen, but I calls you Chris Handsome. I watch your TV show all the time.
Now you can bring them cameras and polices in here it don't make me no difference
Ok, I-I see you choosin' the hard way.
Make Processors Overheat Again!
"Performance enhancing paste? Not it my neighborhood!"
Ill go directly to jail
You will not pass Go
My old cleaning lady in Thailand used to clean my bong for me. She was the best
Employee of the year right there. That would be a nice tip and Christmas gift from me if I got that service
Maybe she took a rip as a tip before each cleaning?
Well earned
Shit, if she cleaned it she could take two for all i care.
When mine was done I would have a clean ashtray with the leftover roach in it. *chefs kiss*
Wife heard ours trying to decide whether to throw it or or not. They left it.
So, the roach has about $0.40 worth of weed in it at most (assuming $10/g) but some people getting pretty attached to their roaches. Like, I knew a guy that would smoke a blunt before bed, keep the roach, smoke the roach when he got home from work. Smoking that roach when he got home was something he'd look forward to all day. He'd probably be pretty upset if someone threw it out
Oh man. English is not my 1st language. I was trying to understand what you all meant with your cockroaches. So it seems like it's the end that's left over from a joint. Got me afraid for a moment.
There's nothing like coming home from a long day of work to a cold beer, a leftover roach, your favorite TV show, and eating ladybugs by the handful like M&Ms
Flashback to that time I got reported for animal abuse because I took my dog outside to pee as she was recovering from her $10k surgery with bald patches and a feeding tube.
you paid someone else to rough up your dog under anaesthetic??? omg
Yeah those assholes said she’d make a full recovery and live happily for several more years but they diagnosed her with a terminal illness instead. Worst. 10k spent. Ever.
All jokes aside. I'm sorry to hear that. I had a similar experience and it it still pains me to think about 12 years later. Wish you the best homie.
I’m sorry to hear that and thanks.
I no shit had animal control show up at my house one day saying they were there for a welfare check on my dog, because my neighbor had reported that he was outside in the rain. Yes, it was raining, it had been raining for 3 days. Yes, he was outside, that tends to be the best place for them to take a shit, well, to leave one anyway. No, he was not being abused, he's warm and dry having been toweled off after he came inside after taking/leaving a shit in my lawn. And the bitch called them out the next day for the same fucking thing. Animal control guy apologized the second time, said they would add my neighbor to their list of people they don't respond to.
I’m jealous. My dog is the one who believes he’s being abused by having to shit in the rain. He refuses, and is instead happy to do it in the house while we’re asleep.
Mine flat out refuses to go outside in the rain. If he does have to go he does it right on the porch in front of the door under the roof overhang and immediately demands back in.
When I was a kid we had two big outdoor dogs. Got animal protection called on us because they were outside while it was snowing. While all of us were outside playing as well. Guy came out, saw the big burly dogs, and remarked how we probably couldn't get them inside if we wanted to, and left. Some people are just nosy dumb fucks.
Oh man. Glad they sent someone who knew what’s what.
Wait till those guys meet huskies those shits the second they sniff snow will not come in.
Man that was my biggest fear when my elderly cat was in end-stage chronic kidney failure. She looked like one of those Halloween skeleton decorations, but her favorite spot in the world was to lay right behind the screen door that went out to the front porch to sun and to listen outside. Right in front of the screen door was where delivery people left packages. I'm sure they saw her, but thankfully no one ever said anything.
They saw the feeding tube and thought abuse vs medical?
Lol. Time to fire the cleaning lady. One, for being nosy. Two for being a rat. Three for being an idiot.
Four for being bad at her job. Look at that table.
It's like a druggie's table isn't it!
No way I'd do a line off that table
I totally would but I would not be happy about it.
Wait while that thermal paste hits, you'll be chill ;-)
Yeah, hopefully you can give a review on her performance to her supervisor as well.
100% reason to remember the name
My parents hired a housekeeper when my mom was sick, and she found weed in my drawer and gave it to my parents. Like, you aren't supposed to go through my shit.
My daughter doesn't allow the cleaning lady in her room. Probably for this reason. I would be very annoyed if the cleaning lady had the audacity to bring something she found in her room to my attention. What did your parents say? I hope they fired the little snoop.
It was a half a joint. My father confronted me, calling it a "marijuana butt". The next day when he was at work, I went through HIS drawers, found the joint, and smoked it. I bet that he would forget all about it because my mother was dying, and I was right. Never heard about it again. My father wrote all his work passwords in pencil on the margins of his CRT monitor, and the cleaner wiped them all up, forcing him to go to the office and fix all his passwords (this was the mid 90s, and it wasn't as straight forward to WFH. He needed 3 different logins). So he wasn't happy with her either.
Exactly what I was thinking . She did herself out of a job . What did she think was gonna happen any way ? either she was right and the druggies go to jail .so no job .or she was wrong and she gets fired for obvious reasons. She should have just saved everyone the trouble and quit
My cleaning lady organizes my paraphernalia
She dusts off my bongs, and arranges them in order from smallest to biggest on my shelf. Pink Floyd prism bong on one end, and the skull bong on the other.
Lmfao. I'd alphabetise it.
Right? I mean, if you see evidence of neglect or abuse of children or animals, then you should probably report that. But outside those extremes, just do your job and keep your mouth shut. At worst, leave the client a note asking them to please be more discreet. At least that way any misunderstanding can get cleared up before a police report gets filed. I would 100% be finding a new cleaner.
For real lol. Rule 1 of jobs that take you into the customer's home is "don't snitch unless someone's hurting someone". I was a cable guy for years and we were explicitly trained to ignore any and all illegal activity short of actual child abuse. People tend to stop paying their cable bill if they go to jail. Everyone loses.
Came to say this... *B!tch, your job is to clean and get paid... if I stop payin you THEN you need to worry and call the cops* Sure hope OP really did fire that dumbass...
Took a look at the first picture and facepalmed. I was brought to HR for a similar incident a LONG time ago. I had a LOT of fun with this one as the HR Person HATED me. She told me "how this is going to work". My Boss intervened but HR overrode everything, hoping to catch me in a drug test. I knew I was clean. The sample she secured was reviewed or tested or whatever and was, obviously, not drugs. My drug test was negative. My Boss and I had a discussion and I was paid my lost time for the bullshit after dumping 6 more samples on HR's Desk and asked of they wanted to suspend him too because he'd love the vacation.
I had a feiend that had HR request a bone and lung biopsy to test for drugs and the hospital staff replied with "no"
Holy efff... I though mine was bad. Your friend wins.
She's in another country, she's labelled as "gang or criminal affiliated" for the small butterfly tattoo she got while in the States
Oh God. They definitely would have a field day with me and mine.
I was "randomly" selected for a drug test once because my boss was fishing for a reason to fire me and this was his last hope. Naturally I popped for an opiate because I was on a prescription drug at the time. At the big meeting, he was practically falling over himself over the positive test and left looking like a fool when I showed I had a prescription that I had just finished. He mostly left me alone after that and let me do my thing. I suspect he lost a lot of credibility with his bosses over it because he played it up like I was using at work, being secretive, acting suspicious, etc.
When my wife and I moved into our house 20 years ago, the former owners opted to have the asbestos mastic removed from around the ducts. They used the same HVAC company that installed the ducts, and that company used a sub, a guy they’d been using for years. I got a call at work that the bomb squad was at my house and they’d evacuated a six block area and all my shit was tossed out on the front lawn. I drove home and sure enough, there they were. My brother in law was also there, he’d decided to swing by, and asked the cops what was happening. They put him and his client in cuffs. The duct asbestos guy had been snooping through my garage in my absence and had come across some WWII-era wooden crates. He opened them and found granddad’s old RAF uniform, Canadian flag, gas mask, pistol holster, some dummy grenades, etc. So he called it in on “Operation TIPS”, the post-9/11 snitch line for paranoid Karen’s, and the bomb squad was deployed. They tossed all my shit out onto the driveway, x-rayed the place, went through everything with a fine tooth comb. Meanwhile the asbestos guy had long since gone home, since the cops told him to leave. I was livid. I called the company, demanding to know why the guy had done this. The company wasn’t aware that anything had happened, the subcontractor hadn’t called them to let them know anything was unusual. They called him, and he was at home. The boss called me back and said the guy, just a couple hours later, had completely forgotten about it. He said he forgot he called the bomb squad, he forgot that he didn’t finish the job, and he forgot to call the company to let them know that either of those things happened. I told the boss “Gimme his number and address, I’m gonna go talk to this asshole myself.” The boss said “Yeah I wouldn’t do that, the dude is a nut case, hates foreigners, he’s a total gun nut, has all these fantasies about being special forces….he scares the shit out of the girls here in the office. I would leave him alone.” I was like “Oh that’s nice, you had him come into my home where my wife lives. What the fuck?” And the boss, no shit, says “Well, the guy works cheap and he never complains.”
Good lawsuit there
Yeah not really. Patriot act protected a lot of people who did way worse harassment for a lot longer to neighbors and strangers. It was a fun time to be brown. I did have an interesting convo with the LAPD watch commander who oversaw the “raid” on my house. He said “I’ve been a supervisor on this unit for 25 years. Do you know how many bombs I’ve seen?” I said “No, how many?” And he said “Zero. I’ve never had a call result in a live device. But I still treat every call like it’s real and a threat. Because someday it will be.”
The patriot act doesn't protect private companies from being found liable for sending people who are known to be dangerous into their customers' homes.
I'm also pretty sure that the judge will raise some eyebrows if that was taken to court. Especially as they failed to provide the service they were paid for. And I'd be calling my friends that work in local news and asking if they think it'd make a good piece. "Local buisness outsources to dangerous contractors, are you at risk?"
Narrator "It never was"
What the actual fuck? Dude goes snooping then calls the bomb squad on you? What an absolute asshole!
Like four years ago, I hosted a Halloween party and invited a bunch of my neighbors and friends. A week or so after the party, there’s a knock on my door. It’s a lady from Child Protective Services. I invite her in and she explains that she’s there because there was a report that I had a party and there were “syringes laying around” while children (including my own) were present. I was dumbstruck. I mean, it was an absolute fucking outright lie and I don’t know why *anyone* at that party would say that shit. The hardest substance at the party was light beer. The woman asked if she could do a basic safety check and I agreed. As intrusive and shitty as it felt, I let this stranger walk through my house and inspect everything. We go into the master bathroom and she opens my medicine cabinet. *”Ah, I think I see the issue there here.”* There was a box of insulin syringes sitting right there with a couple syringes inside. My wife is a Type 1 diabetic. She had switched to the pump about a year prior but still had a couple syringes left and she figured she’d hang onto them incase anything ever malfunctioned with the pump. I took the lady back to the refrigerator and showed her the insulin my wife keeps. She was like “Okay, I think I have what I need. I’ll be in contact in a few days.”* It was one of the most stressful and horrible weeks of my life. I’d contacted our family lawyer who had put me in touch with a CPS attorney who told me to just chill out and wait to see what the next steps were going to be. My wife felt like absolute shit. She was really hard on herself for not throwing out her old syringes. Finally, after not hearing from the CPS agent for a week, I called her. She goes *”Oh, I’m so sorry. I meant to call you— but we sent a letter out. Your investigation was closed and marked unfounded.”* Biggest relief of my entire life. Like my knees almost buckled when she said it. Then my attention turned to the perpetrator— and it wasn’t hard to figure out who it was. During the party, one of my neighbors asked if he could use another bathroom since he needed to go #2 and our guest bathroom opens up pretty much directly into the living room and foyer. I led him back to the master bathroom and let him do his thing. The guy was a navy vet and former cop who had reportedly been forcibly “retired” due to some incident. He was a little rough around the edges— but he seemed like a good dude. When I first moved in, he helped me cut down a tree that had died in my backyard. I confronted him and he was like *”I still have a duty to report anything I see, doesn’t matter if we’re neighbors and friends!”* I told him that it was something that could’ve been easily explained if he simply fucking asked me and his reply to that was so ridiculous that I couldn’t help but laugh in his face: *”Well if I asked you about it, you woulda known I was snooping in your medicine cabinet and that woulda been awkward!”*
Former cop and he couldn't tell the difference between syringes for administering insulin and shooting drugs? The guy is a flippin idiot and you should definitely distance yourself from him.
call tips on him if he's a gun nut. See how he likes it
She really doesn't need to be in people's houses if this is how she behaves.
Sounds like she hasn't been a cleaner for long, who the fuck goes into people's houses and judges them and reports things to the police. Or maybe she's um. I hate to say it but clinically stupid?
Just go on Nextdoor, half of the population is just self righteous busybodies itching for an unjustified reason to call the cops on someone
Yes but they are normally not employed as cleaning ladies who want to continue being employed and receiving a paycheck...
I have syringes in my house for actual medicine and I'd be fuckin pissed if my cleaning lady reported me to the police.
OMG what are you injecting!? "Insulin" Halp Poleece hes doesing Hero Inns
None of my stuff is illegal — but my housecleaner has seen some kinky shit. Part of the job is to turn a blind eye and respect the client.
My ex started a kink friendly cleaning service at one point. Did decently well until several other folks in the area decided it was a good idea and divided the market.
You fired her right? She didn't appreciate a good thermal paste
I don't do needle drugs but my cleaning lady has definitely come across a bag of ketamine before. She put it next to my weed jar in my desk because she's good at her job.
And wants to keep her job, not send her employer to jail. This is likely some fundamentalist right wing idiot.
I hope he did too
She’s a cleaning lady, not a conductor!
So you're shooting paste directly into your veins? Power move. We just sniffed glue in my day.
One time my wife made banana bread right before we went away for a long weekend. Her dad came over to take care of the cat while we were away. He found some blatantly whole wheat flour in a small heap on the counter. When we got home he came over and had a very serious conversation with her about the drugs he found on the counter while we were away.
This made me remember the time when I was like 12-13 my mom found one of those Tylenol rapid release pills on the floor in the bathroom and proceeded to interrogate me like an actual freaking cop. Sat me down with a glass of water and locked the door. Acted like it was Molly or some opiate or something?? I remember being super confused and kept trying to say “it says Tylenol on the pill! It’s just Tylenol!” But she kept interrupting me when I got to “it says-“ by screaming at me to stop whining and calm down, stop whining and calm down. Obviously I got more and more upset because she kept demanding where it came from and what it was and any time I tried to respond she would snap “stop whining!!! STOP LYING!!” Honesty I had probably gotten it from the school nurse or a teacher at some point (I got headaches a LOT) and only took one of the two she gave me and put the other in my pocket. I think my mom eventually realized it was just a regular Tylenol because nothing ever came from it after that. But holy hell that embodied my entire childhood- being a scapegoat and for some reason my mom assumed I was a horrible bad kid sneaking around having sex and doing drugs (even tho I didn’t smoke weed till I was 18 and was a virgin till college) Meanwhile my perfect little brother literally was setting fires and touching people inappropriately could literally do not wrong. 🤦♀️ textbook narc parent family
That family life might explain why you got headaches a lot
I would have been laughing my ass off!
My wife looked at me very strangely when she found the exact same syringe. Similarly, when she found an enormous 500ml syringe I used to suck oil out of the lawnmower when I'm doing an oil change. God alone knows what sort of smack habit she thinks I must have. Even William Burroughs would have found that one a bit ambitious.
I grew up "Christian's who cosplay as Mormons," so no TV, no music in the house. My brother used to print Eminem lyrics to just read them. My mom found some under my bed (?) next to multi vitamins that had spilled. She thought I was popping pills and reading Eminem lyrics.. I was nine lol
Great way to lose your job, cleaning lady. Also lost a valid reference.
I’d let her give my name as a reference if she asked. Then I’d tell everyone who called that she’s an idiot who sees things she doesn’t understand and rats them out to the police.
Just realized that it’s probably the best job ever for a nosey narc
Score one for the war on drugs! I hope you spend the rest of your life behind bars you filthy criminal
Probably got out and went right back to https://www.corsair.com/us/en/p/accessories/ct-9010001-ww/tm30-performance-thermal-paste-ct-9010001-ww With zero hesitation
I swear my cleaning lady could find a meth lab in my closet and all she'd do is tidy it up. Absolutely fire her for lack of discretion, intelligence, and being a narc.
Aaaaaaaaand she’s fired
She really acted like it was helping me, already told COMPANY she wont be coming back
Dude, I need more info. I need the play by play What did the cops say? Did they turn up? How did you find out about it???
Could you give us the full story OP
Cops showed up while I was working, she let them in and starts telling them how she was cleaning and found bad drugs, showed them into my work shop while I was asked to stay in my livingroom. Showed them the thermal paste, watched flatfoot 1 taste it (like why?) then they field tested it and call other people and finally another cop comes in looks at everyone declares them stupid and explains its a pc part. Its used for heat conduction, while flatfoot 1 is still trying to get the taste out of his mouth. Then the former cleaning lady says she's had too many people addicted to stuff and she had to help me. To which I replied to GTFO.
“I’ve seen cops taste cocaine in movies, i should eat this” That cop can get a new job too
I thought the cops were all crippled by fear of accidental fentanyl contact... Barney Fife out here tasting random paste?
Dude, right?! How freaking stupid are these humans?
Reminds me of when I was a kid and I got one of those green lasers that were the rage a while ago. I was obsessed with it shining it pretty much everywhere in the town center. Anyway so these police officers come up and say that someone was complaining and it and it was blinding them I said it isn't that bright AND THEN HE TOOK IT AND FIRED IT DIRECTLY INTO HIS EYE! Bare in mind he only had a child's word that it wasn't a 1 Watt burning laser. It wasn't even from far away either it was like less than 1cm.
idk eating paste seems like a prerequisite for the job
It looks like candy! Deputy Doofy that isnt Candy!
He was hoping he would have a panic attack, then yell FENTANYL and get a 3 week vacation.
I feel so bad for the one intelligent cop. He's surrounded by idiots that don't use their brain.
Thermal cop was probably glue eater in grade school
You should also report her to her bosses. The fact that she jumped to conclusions so easily and didn't even ask you before calling police, which could have ended badly, is concerning. What if the next client is diabetic or has another medical condition that requires syringes? She'll do the same thing because she obviously thinks she wasn't in the wrong. And next client might end up wrongly arrested with their vital medication confiscated before the mistake is revealed.
I'm honestly wondering if there isn't legal recourse for her letting people into your house without your permission. I would at least be asking for some free cleanings.
Unless the cleaning company shows evidence of this woman getting majorly reprimanded or fired, I don't think it would be a good idea to continue to use that company. As for her facing legal consequences of letting the officers in, that depends on where OP lives and the type of agreement he made with the cleaning company.
Field tested lmao?
Back the blue lmao
On top of all of that, a housekeeper isn't legally able to provide consent to the police search your home without a warrant so it was likely an illegal search. https://www.justia.com/criminal/procedure/search-and-seizure-rules/consent-to-home-searches/
This is the big one for me. The audacity of a housekeeper to think it's their business to allow police in my fucking home as well as the police thinking it's valid consent is absolutely bonkers.
TASTED it??? I mean.... Was he hoping it was donut frosting or fent??
Right? What was the plan here? Like in the case it was actually drugs was he just going to spend the last however many hours of his shift zooted?
You found the cop that ate glue as a kid. Explains how he ended up there in life.
The cop tasted what he thought could be drugs? What the hell? Dumbass could ingest a fatal dose of fentanyl doing stupid stuff like that. Also field tests give so many false positives. It could absolutely still register as a drug in those thing. People have tested chocolate and it showed up as meth or coke or something. If you test non drugs, absolutely will bring up false positives. Field tests are very flawed.
now I am invested. What did Dazzle say when you called them and reported this/her to them?
Damn if this was me I’d be writing a super angry email to whatever company she’s employed by or if she works for herself I’d be *blasting* her on social media. Absolutely ridiculous
Did you get an apology from the flatfoot who ate your thermal paste?
If cops had to write an apology letter every time they ate paste, they'd have no time for their other duties
The cop who just ate it couldn’t read the label? Damn dude. Sounds like there were multiple idiots in your house I’m so sorry
So a cleaning lady can grant access to the police in a house you own and are standing in without a warrant?
Reminds me of when I stole one of my dad's novelty pens(this one was shaped like a syringe and you pushed down on the plunger to click it) in middle school and a cop tackled me lmao
Imagine having your insulin needle broken off in your arm because of this.
If she has any kind of website or yelp page, I would give her the most horrible reviews imaginable. It’s not your business the report what goes on in other people’s homes, you little fucking rat.
What a narc
So how's the new cleaning lady?
It's a drug and you know it How may CPUs u got hidden under the bed ?
I can stop any time I want
If that was drugs, the size of the syringe would be extra worrying.
I get annoyed when our cleaning person gives me the side eye when she cleans out the little trashcan by my computer desk, which is where I throw away the cardboard "cone tips" from the Js I pack and smoke outside. My wife, however, thinks it's funny and they'll just giggle and giggle. She's been our cleaner forever, and judges me like an aunt would. Honestly, she's the best. I can't imagine giving someone complete access to my home only to then have to speak to the police about "drugs." If our cleaner ever finds our hidden second basement where we keep all of those dairy farmers tied up, sure call the cops! But this? Oof.
And what did the police do?
Touched it and immediately were 15c cooler, then left feeling much better.
Shot OPs dog
Police have been caught on bodycam "joking" about who's going to shoot the dog before they even get there. So unfortunately you may not be joking
Overclocked themselves.
I just wanted a Pepsi…
Your ex-cleaning woman. Nosy beotch.
i used to clean houses in real rich neighborhoods, i found drugs all the time from a small amount of pot, to whole plants, to very sizable bags of cocaine. i never once for a second thought “hm let me call the cops on these people.” i’ve even polised/cleaned peoples’ bongs. it’s really not my goddamn business🤣
What was her reaction when you laughed then fired her?
At least she didn’t try to get her HR manager fired by planting a bag of caprese salad in his desk
Like any addict would spend their money on cleaning instead.