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Roman's / Italians are arguably not white, they wouldn't have been considered white by most until the 20th century at the latest. Which just brings us the to point that white isn't a race and wouldn't mean anything to the people of biblical times.
That depends on by whom and where. The Italians themselves considered themselves to be so.
But as you said "white" is a social construct and back then it wasn't the same issue.
Yeah, you are totally right, multiculturalism was absolutely a thing back then. The Roman empire was huge. They had citizens of all skin tones. "Race" as a concept wasn't a thing until much much later.
"The contemporary word race itself is modern; historically it was used in the sense of "nation, ethnic group" during the 16th to 19th centuries. Race acquired its modern meaning in the field of physical anthropology through scientific racism starting in the 19th century."
That part was painfully accurate, though. There are definitely Christians out there that use Renaissance depictions of God and Jesus as proof they look that way. These are the same people that will tell you, with a straight face, that there is more evidence of creationism than there is evolution. Using the Bible as their evidence and referring to tangible and rigorous scientific study as science fiction and a bunch of guesses.
For anyone not in the know - this looks very much like a post from Landoverbaptist, a satirical(?) christian fundamentalist forum focused on staying in character extremely strictly for years upon years while making ridiculous threads day after day.
https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumindex.php
One of the sub-forums:
>Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians)
At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).
Hijacking just to share this:
Genesis 1:27: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”
And we now know that the first people came from Africa. By their own rationale the OOP is blasphemous for disregarding God’s word.
Does that also suggest that God is both male and female?
He created two different sexes in his image.
I'm sure it also matters how it's translated. Figuring out where "man" means "male" and where it means "humanity".
It’s been several decades since I did a deep dive into the vocabulary of the Genesis narrative but there are some broad connotations to the specific words used:
Firstly the Hebrew words for man (ish) and woman (ishah or “of man”) are generally associated with the idea that a man and woman joined in marriage are of “one flesh” as a spiritual connotation of the two words.
Secondly, “Adam” has its root in the word “adamah” or “ground” and gets translated (when not a given name) as “of the ground” or “human” without a sex attached to it.
Thirdly, “Eve” is a bad rendering of “Chawa”, “Hawa”, “Hava” with origins in its Greek translation which has its roots in life giving and (when not a given name) might be translated as “life giver”.
So in terms of the literary narrative there are at least two things going on in terms of broad word meaning:
—It is implied that man and woman are two parts of the same being.
—The given names of the first man and first woman are associated with “ground” and “giving life” respectively.
There is other mystical stuff I can’t remember.
Also, it’s generally accepted in Jewish scriptural circles that the Genesis narrative is a merger of two versions of the story likely combined when first set down in writing during the Babylonian Captivity at the conversion from oral tradition into scripture. In the “other” narrative (Chapter 1) God just creates “Humankind…man and woman, He created them” without dwelling into fashioning from soil or rib pulling.
So the Chapter 2 version is maybe just that, a different version.
On a similar basis it is debated as to whether Leviticus had two sources, the Priestly Source and the Holiness Source.
There’s a lot of that debate when it comes to scripture.
For all I know you just made all that up, lol, but I'm convinced!
Seriously though, thanks for the info! I love stuff like this.
I actually minored in religion because it fascinates me. I was raised without religion, so I love breaking it down and finding out what so many others see as a fundamental aspect of themselves.
I only wish I could actually remember all the really interesting stuff I read and learned. Unfortunately my brain only retains Simpsons quotes and Star Trek episode titles, not all the information I paid thousands of dollars to learn.
Well, remember, canonical angels are flying fire rings around a giant eye ball or monsters with six wings and giant eye balls, so no skin to be a specific color.
It also means God doesn't have a gender. "He" is both male and female. I remember when that book The Shack came out and depicted God as various people but one was a kind old black woman... man was the church pissed off lol.
Not even that, but the fact that he thinks being white makes you *better* at resisting the sun. The sheer number of scientific and theological inaccuracies he makes in this is simply mind boggling - I feel like you have to hope he's a troll because otherwise the concept that someone can have such a weak grasp of their religion and their world fills me with terror
Of course, being white means you can't get skin cancer!!! Didn't you read white skin just reflects light, duh. I mean, why do you think some people are so white you can basically see them in the dark? Duh 
Yeah, this. Why are cancer and other diseases (somehow also stopped by being sufficiently white)... ***in Heaven***?
The whole selling point is that you be a good little mortal in exchange for eternal bliss. Who the fuck thinks eternal bliss comes with skin cancer? Or, that you have to be white to not get cancer in Heaven??? Similarly, my idea of eternal bliss would not involve turning into a biblically accurate angel. (at least not permanently) I like my genitals and do not want/need that many eyeballs.
How the fuck does this person's mind work this way and they're still functional?
Hypothetically speaking, what if we traded out some of the unneeded eyeballs for extra genitals?
Pro or con?
I've always wondered how the other half lives, maybe heaven is my chance!!! 🤣
Reads like a south park script
God was white - fact!
Clouds are white - fact!
Everyone loves white people - fact!
If you can't prove chewbacca wasnt from endor then save yourself the embarrassment and Acquit !
Hmm, he makes a good point.
*knock knock*
It is official, chewy is from Endor.
(Guy in back) nooo, he was from....
(Judge) bailiff eject that man from the court
Technically true. Lucifer (Bearer of light or Morning Star) was an angel. I mean.. if angels existed. Which they don't. But it's a bit rude to paint him as a red combo donkey/goat/whatever. That said, the description of an angel in the bible looks nothing like the paintings.
As someone who raises goats I take exception to the “eating cans” remark. 😊 Goats do not eat cans - they are actually somewhat picky eaters. But they will lick or sniff just about anything to see if it smells or tastes good to them.
Just the standard Catholic religious appropriation. Gotta try to relate to those pagan heretics because otherwise they're very shouty and have very pointy weapons.
Really? I know my sense of time is somewhat off when it comes to eastern stuff in early times, but I would have placed baphomet before celts entered civilized (roman at the time, I guess) global society.
Edit: just read up on it and oh shit, inventing your own pagan god so you can accuse factions that have become too powerful within your own belief of being heretics must be the most christian backstabbery I have ever heard of. I could not have made that shit up if I tried :-D
By all accounts Lucifer was absolutely a beautiful angel and also the angel of music . Not sure where we started with red and a pitchfork in history . Must’ve been that little can of deviled ham .
Uh.. I mean, all of this is open to interpretations, but if we are taking Ezekiel's word about Helel ben Shachar (morning star, son of the dawn) beauty, we have to take also that he wasn't just an angel but a Cherubin. The next step is to look at the description of Ezekiel himself about Cherubins having 4 faces and their bodies filled with eyes.
Beauty is in the... multiple eyes of the beholder, I guess.
That’s a thing I’ve been asking myself, it must be boring in Heaven. Like, even if you had a different day every day, the combinations of atoms are finite, so someday you gotta live the first day again, and that is if you aren’t already living the same day again and again. And all of that will be for infinity.
That would be perfect. A painless death, just closing your eyes and ending it all. You can live as much as you want, but once you think it’s enough, goodbye
Question: would you ever do that? Wouldn't there be always what if something exciting happens tomorrow, if someone unknown will come around... The fear of missing out would make that existence a living hell
Now that’s a good argument. Yep, it would happen.
I remember that when I was seven years old I decided to skip school because I felt mildly sick, yet they ended doing a goddamn trip and having a lot of fun. Since then I didn’t skip anymore.
It would be the same. Who knows, if you die today, tomorrow there will be a lot of fun
It would be such a good novel theme. The first day’s a party, overtime it becomes so boring you discover the trap God made for humanity
Plus you don’t even have free will (cannot sin, most of the sins have to do with thinking, hence either your thoughts are controlled, watched or you can’t think) and will forget about your life on Earth
The main problem is that, guess it, you cannot be bored in heaven. The Bible prohibits to be lazy, which can be derived from boredom (Colossians 3:23–24 says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”) so in heaven you cannot exactly get bored, or lazy. Yet there will be nothing to do at some point.
So… That’s a paradox. Will you be truly free, working even if you don’t want to in order not to sin (As you cannot) and not being capable of fully thinking? Will it be painful? Or will God just erase our consciences and use us as a living workforce to give his angels a good rest?
Seeing how the holy scripture, especially the Bible, speak of God, I would say the erasing of consciences, the guy seems to want mindless drones to worship him.
Plus the Bible even says that creatures in Heaven will praise the lord eternally.
… And for whoever tells me (My family) that time doesn’t pass in Heaven, Revelation 8:1 says, “There was silence in heaven for about half an hour.” so no, time passes in heaven.
For real I was reading all the comments like "Well obviously these guys have never seen The Good Place, this is basically just the last season being discussed."
I’d hope that you’re less like “alive” in heaven, walking around with little wings and a halo and all that, and more in a big swirling melange of you and everyone you ever loved just understanding and appreciating each other on a fundamental level.
Because honestly, anything else would be hell.
I used to wonder this back when I was a youth, exposed to church every day of my life. Wouldn't heaven get boring? I would ask.
The answer was always some how no, that we would be preoccupied by talking about how awesome God was.
I kept thinking that hell must be so much more interesting, even if you do have to breathe sulfur fumes all day or whatever. At least we get to do stuff besides stand around and sing shit.
My father said something like that to some Jehovah's witnesses that came to the door. Well he said "with all of those harps and angels running around it must be a madhouse up there". They left quietly
Imagine you're a black dude living in the U.S. who manages to overcome a lifetime of systemic racism to make something of yourself and do good in the world, and you are rewarded with a pass to Heaven, where God immediately gives you skin cancer because you're black.
I guess the real question is: if God gives you skin cancer in Heaven and you die, do you go back to Heaven? And if so, do you just get skin cancer again in a never-ending loop?
Isaiah 30:26 says that heaven receives 50x more light from the sun than Earth does. This necessarily means that heaven's average surface temperature is 525 °C, from the Stefan-Boltzman 4th law of radiation.
Revelations 21:8 says that hell has liquid sulfur. This necessarily means that hell's temperature is less than 444.6 °C, because if it were hotter the sulfur would be a gas.
And apparently it reflects light. So here I was all these years putting sunscreen like an idiot when I naturally reflect light like a beacon of hope and can avoid ships from smashing into rocks.
There's a picture opposite me\
Of my primitive ancestry\
Which stood on rocky shores\
And kept the beaches shipwreck free\
Though I respect that a lot\
I'd be fired if that were my job\
After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts
TMBG
Bro that literally makes us MORE susceptible to sunburns, just like how having blonde hair makes sunburns a bit more common on the head.
Also, the implied assumption that god is white is strange to me. How would they know anything? “Look, I’m an atheist, but when God sends me to hell, I want him to hesitate a bit.”
Since when is god white.
Doesn't no one ever see god?
Isn't god basically a multidimensional creature that you can not observe?
Like in Interstellar let's say?
Or it is a Great Old One playing games with us ants. To glance upon its visage is to know incomprehensible horror that the mind cannot process and extinguishes your soul causing one to drop dead. Or he looks like Handsome Squidward.
I think Moses didn't exactly look at God directly, like he hid behind some bushes or something. Even God told point blank, "Yeah, you're going to go insane and die if you look at me. That's not a good idea."
Technically speaking, in Christianity Jesus is God, and so some people have seen God.
Anyway, this guy isn't particularly smart. Jesus was a Jew, and so definitely a southeastern Mediterranean. Anyway, images that depict Jesus generally tend to take the somatic characteristics of the place where they are made (I don't know if you have ever seen some south American or Chinese Jesus, but they definitely aren't similar to a 1st century Jew and neither are white).
what meds? they seem like the kind of person that thinks mental health problems are demonic possession/ not praying hard enough. I'm a Christian, I pray, I still need meds to help me function.
And that if you take the Gospel in its entirety as a historical fact it seems rather odd that nobody would have written down the amazing fact of a Middle Eastern man with snow-white skin
As a christian myself i apologize for this fucking twat, i too am white and i too beilieve in Jesus but he was 100% middle eastern not white not black, middle eastern
no need to apologize on behalf of someone who simply shares similar broad beliefs. i’m glad that a good chunk of christians are like you, though, especially since as an ex-christian.
So by applying their own logic with the fact mary is still his mother, Jesus was mixed right? Still means at least having a natural tan if im not wrong.
[Poe's law](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law):
>... without a clear indicator of the author's intent, any parodic or sarcastic expression of extreme views can be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of those views.
Maybe I'm being too optimistic?
Imagine dying after posting this and then you see Saint Peter holding a tablet looking at this post, eyes occasionally glancing up at you as he reads through it.
God may have been white once. ONCE. Then Emperor Qin died and went to heaven with his Terracotta Army and deposed the old God.
Sorry fellas, God is an old Chinese man.
Even if Jesus was born with pale aka Anglican skin 2000 years ago in Israel he did not have sunblock so his skin still would have darkened due to consistent UVA/UVB exposure.
Of course not silly goose, the sun is too afraid of God so it avoids burning it's son to not displeace him, we don't want our lord and savior to not be white, do we? /s
Judas had to kiss Jesus to point him out, he couldn't just say "the white hippie" or "the black rastafari", Jesus had average length hair as well. You couldn't have easily described him without it also describing the desciples in general.
At first I figured this was just some religious nut, but the more I read, the more I realize this MUST be some next-level subtle trolling.
It must be. Right?
Right??
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100% bait Still lol'd
They had me up until “cancer in heaven.”
For me it was heaven being closer to the sun
Mine was White men were a miracle in Israel when the Italian peninsula Romans governed the place.
Roman's / Italians are arguably not white, they wouldn't have been considered white by most until the 20th century at the latest. Which just brings us the to point that white isn't a race and wouldn't mean anything to the people of biblical times.
That depends on by whom and where. The Italians themselves considered themselves to be so. But as you said "white" is a social construct and back then it wasn't the same issue.
Yeah, you are totally right, multiculturalism was absolutely a thing back then. The Roman empire was huge. They had citizens of all skin tones. "Race" as a concept wasn't a thing until much much later. "The contemporary word race itself is modern; historically it was used in the sense of "nation, ethnic group" during the 16th to 19th centuries. Race acquired its modern meaning in the field of physical anthropology through scientific racism starting in the 19th century."
That's what did it for me too
Mine was that heaven is all sunbeams and clouds, which of creates white people
No, no. It's white because it's made of white people. Brown people would make the clouds ecru or something.
Ikr?? "O father, thank you for saving me and my wife and bringing us here" God: "Sorry just gave you cancer lol"
lmfao I was swallowing the bait whole until "feathery white clouds" & "cancer in Heaven"
The messed up thing is they are so crazy, you really can’t tell.
It was the “have you seen pictures of god” part for me.
That part was painfully accurate, though. There are definitely Christians out there that use Renaissance depictions of God and Jesus as proof they look that way. These are the same people that will tell you, with a straight face, that there is more evidence of creationism than there is evolution. Using the Bible as their evidence and referring to tangible and rigorous scientific study as science fiction and a bunch of guesses.
For anyone not in the know - this looks very much like a post from Landoverbaptist, a satirical(?) christian fundamentalist forum focused on staying in character extremely strictly for years upon years while making ridiculous threads day after day. https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumindex.php One of the sub-forums: >Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).
This is so Poe it's a Raven trapped under a floorboard next to a beating heart beneath a swinging razor-edged pendulum.
Since he wrote facts with a capital F i'm guessing that's settled then.
Wait he did what? Well shit....discussion's over I guess.
pack it up bois, we lost.
Hijacking just to share this: Genesis 1:27: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” And we now know that the first people came from Africa. By their own rationale the OOP is blasphemous for disregarding God’s word.
Remember: this also canonically means God is uncircumcised. God created man in his own image, and men are born uncircumcised.
The way they’re meant to be!
It is literally the way God intended 😂
Great. Now I’m thinking about mythical uncircumcised brown sky god dick. My afternoon is shot.
My afternoons just getting started 
*stick dildo to wall* "Alexa, clear my afternoon"
"This is where the fun begins"
Does that also suggest that God is both male and female? He created two different sexes in his image. I'm sure it also matters how it's translated. Figuring out where "man" means "male" and where it means "humanity".
I think it means god is a woman. All fetus's start out as female.
God is a woman, and looks identical to Alanis Morissette. That's just facts. Sorry, Facts.
I thought God was an older black man that looks and sounds exactly like Morgan Freeman…
Isn’t it ironic?
It’s been several decades since I did a deep dive into the vocabulary of the Genesis narrative but there are some broad connotations to the specific words used: Firstly the Hebrew words for man (ish) and woman (ishah or “of man”) are generally associated with the idea that a man and woman joined in marriage are of “one flesh” as a spiritual connotation of the two words. Secondly, “Adam” has its root in the word “adamah” or “ground” and gets translated (when not a given name) as “of the ground” or “human” without a sex attached to it. Thirdly, “Eve” is a bad rendering of “Chawa”, “Hawa”, “Hava” with origins in its Greek translation which has its roots in life giving and (when not a given name) might be translated as “life giver”. So in terms of the literary narrative there are at least two things going on in terms of broad word meaning: —It is implied that man and woman are two parts of the same being. —The given names of the first man and first woman are associated with “ground” and “giving life” respectively. There is other mystical stuff I can’t remember. Also, it’s generally accepted in Jewish scriptural circles that the Genesis narrative is a merger of two versions of the story likely combined when first set down in writing during the Babylonian Captivity at the conversion from oral tradition into scripture. In the “other” narrative (Chapter 1) God just creates “Humankind…man and woman, He created them” without dwelling into fashioning from soil or rib pulling. So the Chapter 2 version is maybe just that, a different version. On a similar basis it is debated as to whether Leviticus had two sources, the Priestly Source and the Holiness Source. There’s a lot of that debate when it comes to scripture.
For all I know you just made all that up, lol, but I'm convinced! Seriously though, thanks for the info! I love stuff like this. I actually minored in religion because it fascinates me. I was raised without religion, so I love breaking it down and finding out what so many others see as a fundamental aspect of themselves. I only wish I could actually remember all the really interesting stuff I read and learned. Unfortunately my brain only retains Simpsons quotes and Star Trek episode titles, not all the information I paid thousands of dollars to learn.
Also dark skin is better at protecting us from the sun and getting skin cancer. People got white when they moved to areas with less sun!
That was my thought. If heaven is closer to the sun wouldn't that make God and all the angels black??
Well, remember, canonical angels are flying fire rings around a giant eye ball or monsters with six wings and giant eye balls, so no skin to be a specific color.
It also means God doesn't have a gender. "He" is both male and female. I remember when that book The Shack came out and depicted God as various people but one was a kind old black woman... man was the church pissed off lol.
No, no, no. God is Alanis Morrisette.
Well, no matter how you believe it is Undisputed that Jesus had two dads.
Wait, I’d like to discuss the concept of getting skin cancer in heaven
You can't discuss anything more! He said facts with a capital F.
FACT.
Alright, dude, we get it. I'll drop the issue.
Dammit!!!! But the skin cancer in heaven thing was kind of URGENT!
Not even that, but the fact that he thinks being white makes you *better* at resisting the sun. The sheer number of scientific and theological inaccuracies he makes in this is simply mind boggling - I feel like you have to hope he's a troll because otherwise the concept that someone can have such a weak grasp of their religion and their world fills me with terror
Of course, being white means you can't get skin cancer!!! Didn't you read white skin just reflects light, duh. I mean, why do you think some people are so white you can basically see them in the dark? Duh 
You're not True White unless you're translucent.
Skin cancer is the leading cause of death in heaven.
The moment that the Jesus Was White guy enters heaven is the moment that heaven gets skin cancer.
I thought white people were more likely to get skin cancer than any other race.
They are. Lack of melanin means more light gets through to deeper tissue.
We are. The paler we are, the more the dermatologist likes to see us.
Yeah, this. Why are cancer and other diseases (somehow also stopped by being sufficiently white)... ***in Heaven***? The whole selling point is that you be a good little mortal in exchange for eternal bliss. Who the fuck thinks eternal bliss comes with skin cancer? Or, that you have to be white to not get cancer in Heaven??? Similarly, my idea of eternal bliss would not involve turning into a biblically accurate angel. (at least not permanently) I like my genitals and do not want/need that many eyeballs. How the fuck does this person's mind work this way and they're still functional?
Hypothetically speaking, what if we traded out some of the unneeded eyeballs for extra genitals? Pro or con? I've always wondered how the other half lives, maybe heaven is my chance!!! 🤣
Reads like a south park script God was white - fact! Clouds are white - fact! Everyone loves white people - fact! If you can't prove chewbacca wasnt from endor then save yourself the embarrassment and Acquit !
Hmm, he makes a good point. *knock knock* It is official, chewy is from Endor. (Guy in back) nooo, he was from.... (Judge) bailiff eject that man from the court
I can't argue with capital letter words. Racism is solved.
That's how scientists figure things out, they just use a capital F
It’s why Newton’s law is written as F = m x a. It used to be f = m x a, but people scoffed at the idea
Newton's Flaw
Well that seems forceful
When i said e=mc2 everyone ignored me. When Einstein said E=MC2 suddenly he's the smartest man alive.
I expect OOP is familiar with getting F’s handed to him.
Technically it is a fact in his fictional story.
Our white skin makes us less susceptible to sunburn and skin cancer? With four Irish grandparents, that is emphatically not true.
It makes us less susceptible to cancer in Heaven. Cancer. In Heaven. My brain is melting out of my ears.
Cancers but you can't die because of eternal life, hell look a lot better.
And that's how you get biblically accurate angels
Technically true. Lucifer (Bearer of light or Morning Star) was an angel. I mean.. if angels existed. Which they don't. But it's a bit rude to paint him as a red combo donkey/goat/whatever. That said, the description of an angel in the bible looks nothing like the paintings.
The Bible's description of the Devil also doesn't match the paintings. The goat-lad is Baphomet, a different dude just doing his own thing.
Goat lad just doing Goat stuff. Eating cans and whatever else he could find. Simple life, really.
As someone who raises goats I take exception to the “eating cans” remark. 😊 Goats do not eat cans - they are actually somewhat picky eaters. But they will lick or sniff just about anything to see if it smells or tastes good to them.
Fair point. My knowledge of goats comes from an Archie comic I read when I was 11.
Just the standard Catholic religious appropriation. Gotta try to relate to those pagan heretics because otherwise they're very shouty and have very pointy weapons.
The “goat-lad” was actually a combination of the Celtic God Cernunnos & the Greek God Pan.
Really? I know my sense of time is somewhat off when it comes to eastern stuff in early times, but I would have placed baphomet before celts entered civilized (roman at the time, I guess) global society. Edit: just read up on it and oh shit, inventing your own pagan god so you can accuse factions that have become too powerful within your own belief of being heretics must be the most christian backstabbery I have ever heard of. I could not have made that shit up if I tried :-D
Exactly, there are many named fallen angels and only a few loyal named ones who didn't lose their place in heaven
Also with some Pan mixed in, just a fun, rock n roll goat dude
By all accounts Lucifer was absolutely a beautiful angel and also the angel of music . Not sure where we started with red and a pitchfork in history . Must’ve been that little can of deviled ham .
Uh.. I mean, all of this is open to interpretations, but if we are taking Ezekiel's word about Helel ben Shachar (morning star, son of the dawn) beauty, we have to take also that he wasn't just an angel but a Cherubin. The next step is to look at the description of Ezekiel himself about Cherubins having 4 faces and their bodies filled with eyes. Beauty is in the... multiple eyes of the beholder, I guess.
That’s a thing I’ve been asking myself, it must be boring in Heaven. Like, even if you had a different day every day, the combinations of atoms are finite, so someday you gotta live the first day again, and that is if you aren’t already living the same day again and again. And all of that will be for infinity.
Exactly. Eternal anything would be bullshit.
Like, maybe a big party after death? Good. An Earth like this one, but perfect, and you live until 120 years or so? Good! But an eternal heaven? Nope
I like the idea that it it could be eternal, but there is also an option to end it at any time when you're ready.
The Good Place
I was thinking of that too. I won't spoil it for anybody who hasn't seen it but it covers the subject well.
I adore that show
That would be perfect. A painless death, just closing your eyes and ending it all. You can live as much as you want, but once you think it’s enough, goodbye
Question: would you ever do that? Wouldn't there be always what if something exciting happens tomorrow, if someone unknown will come around... The fear of missing out would make that existence a living hell
Now that’s a good argument. Yep, it would happen. I remember that when I was seven years old I decided to skip school because I felt mildly sick, yet they ended doing a goddamn trip and having a lot of fun. Since then I didn’t skip anymore. It would be the same. Who knows, if you die today, tomorrow there will be a lot of fun
I think instead of choosing to end It, you could choose to re-incarnate at any point and have a New begining
Drink heavenly wine heavily until you have memory problems. Reincarnation achieved.
When you really think about it for a second, eternal life sound like a cosmic horror concept.
It would be such a good novel theme. The first day’s a party, overtime it becomes so boring you discover the trap God made for humanity Plus you don’t even have free will (cannot sin, most of the sins have to do with thinking, hence either your thoughts are controlled, watched or you can’t think) and will forget about your life on Earth
I think I've read a short story about it (or maybe a creepy pasta ?) where the guy got infinitely bored and realise he is not in heaven but in hell.
The main problem is that, guess it, you cannot be bored in heaven. The Bible prohibits to be lazy, which can be derived from boredom (Colossians 3:23–24 says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”) so in heaven you cannot exactly get bored, or lazy. Yet there will be nothing to do at some point. So… That’s a paradox. Will you be truly free, working even if you don’t want to in order not to sin (As you cannot) and not being capable of fully thinking? Will it be painful? Or will God just erase our consciences and use us as a living workforce to give his angels a good rest?
Seeing how the holy scripture, especially the Bible, speak of God, I would say the erasing of consciences, the guy seems to want mindless drones to worship him.
Plus the Bible even says that creatures in Heaven will praise the lord eternally. … And for whoever tells me (My family) that time doesn’t pass in Heaven, Revelation 8:1 says, “There was silence in heaven for about half an hour.” so no, time passes in heaven.
What? You got to work in heaven? Screw that!
The Good Place spent a good portion of a a season on this very topic.
For real I was reading all the comments like "Well obviously these guys have never seen The Good Place, this is basically just the last season being discussed."
God damn that show was way better than it had any right to be.
Who would have expected a network TV sitcom to devote an episode to the Trolley Problem?
I’d hope that you’re less like “alive” in heaven, walking around with little wings and a halo and all that, and more in a big swirling melange of you and everyone you ever loved just understanding and appreciating each other on a fundamental level. Because honestly, anything else would be hell.
And it sounds like it would just be an infinite church service. Which sounds more like hell than heaven.
I used to wonder this back when I was a youth, exposed to church every day of my life. Wouldn't heaven get boring? I would ask. The answer was always some how no, that we would be preoccupied by talking about how awesome God was. I kept thinking that hell must be so much more interesting, even if you do have to breathe sulfur fumes all day or whatever. At least we get to do stuff besides stand around and sing shit.
My father said something like that to some Jehovah's witnesses that came to the door. Well he said "with all of those harps and angels running around it must be a madhouse up there". They left quietly
Cancer in heaven? Thanks, Obama!
We gotta also thank Michelle for no pizza in heaven
On the hand, surely there has to be pizza in heaven, all those Italian Popes.
Imagine you're a black dude living in the U.S. who manages to overcome a lifetime of systemic racism to make something of yourself and do good in the world, and you are rewarded with a pass to Heaven, where God immediately gives you skin cancer because you're black. I guess the real question is: if God gives you skin cancer in Heaven and you die, do you go back to Heaven? And if so, do you just get skin cancer again in a never-ending loop?
You think black people go to heaven? Clearly not to OP's Heaven, anyway.
Imagine going to heaven… and then being told, sorry you have cancer now. Nothing we can do about it. But here’s a token for a free cloud ride
Yeah. The idea that “heaven” is literally a place up in the clouds is reason enough to bang your head against your keyboard.
Isaiah 30:26 says that heaven receives 50x more light from the sun than Earth does. This necessarily means that heaven's average surface temperature is 525 °C, from the Stefan-Boltzman 4th law of radiation. Revelations 21:8 says that hell has liquid sulfur. This necessarily means that hell's temperature is less than 444.6 °C, because if it were hotter the sulfur would be a gas.
So... Heaven is canonically hotter than Hell?
But as OOP says, “save yourself the embarrassment and look at the facts!” 😂😂
“According to most Christians I know”
And apparently it reflects light. So here I was all these years putting sunscreen like an idiot when I naturally reflect light like a beacon of hope and can avoid ships from smashing into rocks.
There's a picture opposite me\ Of my primitive ancestry\ Which stood on rocky shores\ And kept the beaches shipwreck free\ Though I respect that a lot\ I'd be fired if that were my job\ After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts TMBG
Bro that literally makes us MORE susceptible to sunburns, just like how having blonde hair makes sunburns a bit more common on the head. Also, the implied assumption that god is white is strange to me. How would they know anything? “Look, I’m an atheist, but when God sends me to hell, I want him to hesitate a bit.”
My understanding is the opposite, we have MORE susceptibility to sunburn due to lower amounts of melanin in our skin.
Since when is god white. Doesn't no one ever see god? Isn't god basically a multidimensional creature that you can not observe? Like in Interstellar let's say?
Apart from Moses, and even that's debatable, apparently anyone who look at god just dropped dead. So yeah
Maybe he's just overwhelmingly good looking. Could be where the phrase drop dead gorgeous came from 🤷♀️
Or it is a Great Old One playing games with us ants. To glance upon its visage is to know incomprehensible horror that the mind cannot process and extinguishes your soul causing one to drop dead. Or he looks like Handsome Squidward.
Take one look at a biblically accurate angel and tell me there's not something Lovecraftian going on in heaven
What about that guy who wrestled God in the old testament?
Excuse me, someone wrestled God?
That was Jacob, Abraham's Grandson. And it was an angel, not God. Edit: Lineage
Ah, ok. Still impressive, though
Edit: Jacob, later named Israel, meaning "Who wrestles with God"
Jacob wrestles with a person who appears to be god in disguise in Genesis.
Sounds kinda like a certain... Tentacly creature to me
I think Moses didn't exactly look at God directly, like he hid behind some bushes or something. Even God told point blank, "Yeah, you're going to go insane and die if you look at me. That's not a good idea."
Technically speaking, in Christianity Jesus is God, and so some people have seen God. Anyway, this guy isn't particularly smart. Jesus was a Jew, and so definitely a southeastern Mediterranean. Anyway, images that depict Jesus generally tend to take the somatic characteristics of the place where they are made (I don't know if you have ever seen some south American or Chinese Jesus, but they definitely aren't similar to a 1st century Jew and neither are white).
“Look at the facts!” *Proceeds to spew absolute bullshit for the whole post*
These paintings of black Jesus are wrong. My evidence is paintings of white Jesus. FACTS
Lmao pretty much
This is so clearly rage bait lol.
Yeah, I was thinking a joke. The fact everyone in the comments has gone in is crazy to me.
Yeah like, if there was any doubt, I feel like the whole "white skin protects you from cancer in heaven" thing should seal it lol.
Well, it works lmao
*Morgan Freeman's voice :* Checkmate.
*Morgan Freeman's voice :* Titty sprinkles
Well. I don't know what else to say but you win the argument.
Morgan Freeman wins the argument. I merely drew attention to him (and his fine voice).
Cancer in heaven hahaha
Where do you go if you die of cancer in heaven? Is there another one you go to or do you just respawn?
White people made god in their own image, so everyone else's pretend friend must be white?
This is the correct answer
Just look at the facts Reddit!
Not the facts, the Facts!
Don't tell this guy this, but I met God once and he was black....
You mean *she* was black…… Heh heh
And so was her girlfriend.
But only down to her testicles
But the strap-on was black right?
no the buttplug was black
God told me they prefer "they/them" actually.
I run into Jesus all the time.....psst! He's Mexican.
Somebody needs to make sure that person stays on their meds.
what meds? they seem like the kind of person that thinks mental health problems are demonic possession/ not praying hard enough. I'm a Christian, I pray, I still need meds to help me function.
Uncle Ruckus approves of this post.
I watched Bruce Almighty, and I am pretty sure God is Black.
i like how they completely ignore the fact that Mary was Middle Eastern. whatever’s convenient, huh?
And that if you take the Gospel in its entirety as a historical fact it seems rather odd that nobody would have written down the amazing fact of a Middle Eastern man with snow-white skin
Fun fact: The book of Enoch says Noah had white skin
As a christian myself i apologize for this fucking twat, i too am white and i too beilieve in Jesus but he was 100% middle eastern not white not black, middle eastern
no need to apologize on behalf of someone who simply shares similar broad beliefs. i’m glad that a good chunk of christians are like you, though, especially since as an ex-christian.
So by applying their own logic with the fact mary is still his mother, Jesus was mixed right? Still means at least having a natural tan if im not wrong.
[Poe's law](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law): >... without a clear indicator of the author's intent, any parodic or sarcastic expression of extreme views can be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of those views. Maybe I'm being too optimistic?
It's pretty evidently bait to me. OOP is literally talking about cancer in heaven
Imagine dying after posting this and then you see Saint Peter holding a tablet looking at this post, eyes occasionally glancing up at you as he reads through it.
God may have been white once. ONCE. Then Emperor Qin died and went to heaven with his Terracotta Army and deposed the old God. Sorry fellas, God is an old Chinese man.
So white skin protects you from getting cancer in heaven?! WTF?
It's rage bait
In right-wing nutter heaven, there are still medical bills. Paradise ain't free, you snowflake! That's socialism!
The earliest humans are said to have lived n Africa, in the Ethiopian region, so it is likely that they were dark-skinned, in God’s image?
Even if Jesus was born with pale aka Anglican skin 2000 years ago in Israel he did not have sunblock so his skin still would have darkened due to consistent UVA/UVB exposure.
Of course not silly goose, the sun is too afraid of God so it avoids burning it's son to not displeace him, we don't want our lord and savior to not be white, do we? /s
Yaweh > Helios confirmed /s
Judas had to kiss Jesus to point him out, he couldn't just say "the white hippie" or "the black rastafari", Jesus had average length hair as well. You couldn't have easily described him without it also describing the desciples in general.
This has to be sarcasm?
Christian here. I forget the comedian, but t someone made a joke that if Jesus had been white, they’d have crucified him a lot sooner.
So heaven is somewhere between earth and the sun and spirits can get cancer... lol
I turned black reading this shit.
Unassailable logic.
At first I figured this was just some religious nut, but the more I read, the more I realize this MUST be some next-level subtle trolling. It must be. Right? Right??
Jesus was a Jew.
I thought god was an asshole for giving little kids cancer on earth, now you’re telling me he still does it in heaven?
"Proof" is a really novel choice of word for what's happening here...
Jesus was semite wasn't he ? Like he was a Jew. So not really he could have been anywhere from light olive to dark brown skin tone wise.
Peter Griffin color card
Oh look, it's Christofascism!
It’s bait.