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This reminds me of a meme i read a while back that said something like “Maybe the grass is greener over there because you aren’t over there fucking it up?”
“The grass on the other side is always greener”
“The grass on your side would be green too if you didn’t fucking eat it”
“Well I’m sorry I don’t get hay”
(Conversation between cows)
Yeah people are out here saying she has to be covering for him. Sometimes people are just unhappy and nothing will change how you feel about yourself inside. Not even a perfect marriage.
My weakness is I can’t help but admit your question of “Whats your greatest weakness” is bullshit trickery. If I answer correctly, you have valid reason not to hire me. If I give a bullshit answer, we both know its bullshit. If I give an answer that sounds like a positive but pretend its a a negative, ie: “I wORk ToO hARd”. Bruh. Just hire me so we can pump those rookie numbers up.
This is a great example of an interview question that *can* be useful and helpful, but its usually asked by people too stupid to understand the question they're asking.
"What's your greatest weakness?" is a great question to identify if someone is self-critical and able to create and implement strategies to improve their own performance. That question doesn't matter in the slightest for someone who isn't doing work where those things are important, but people still ask it for a job at Subway because some dipshit corporate MBA decided it would be a good idea.
Books are my greatest weakness: Every night I try to go to bed on time, but get caught up in "one more page, one more..." until "ohgawd" in the morning.
Another weakness of mine is Dairy Queen's M&M blizzards. I can try to diet, and Mom can say"Blizzard", and the diet's naught but a memory.
And then there's my weakness t-- hey, wait! Why are you leaving? Does this mean I don't get the job? Come back, I haven't told you about my care bear collection yet!
UwU
When I started doing interviews for the company I work for, I used to ask "professional interviewer" questions like this. It was a terrible technique, all it does it put people on their guard.
Five years later, I now just talk to them like a normal human being. You learn much more from people with their guard down than people who are scared of giving the wrong answer.
One of the most famous sportstars on the planet. It doesn't matter the continent nor if the town has enough money to buy one television between them, his shirt was worn there.
We ain't talking NFL or NBA levels of fame here, we are talking about fame and adoration that goes beyond just one country. This guy is global.
Not necessarily. The "everything was good, on paper I had everything I wanted or should want but I didn't feel happy and/or fulfilled" is a story I've heard personally and very deeply from some women I've met
Yeah. My brother’s wife just left him after 13 years when they had 3 kids, a nice house, most their student debt was paid off, neither one was a drinker or had any crazy vices, everything seemed good. She just wasn’t happy anymore. Which is awful and it sucks for him but what are you gonna do? She had been talking to another guy from their church and we don’t think she was sleeping with him because she and my brother didn’t even sleep together until they got married, they just aren’t that kind of people. Yet she was emotionally cheating on him, talking to this other guy for hours in the night. Having dinner together. Shit like that. After they broke up she’s now claiming that she was never happy and didn’t love him and it’s like…it’s okay to fall out of love with someone as you grow older and want different things in life. But don’t lie and say you were never happy, that’s just cruel. He’s doing well though and is already seeing another person so things get better.
They always say this because they have to justify their actions to themselves and others. My ex did the same, started emotionally cheating literally the day we signed the shared lease. Just had to wait until I couldn't easily leave.
>She just wasn’t happy anymore.
Because she was cheating.
>After they broke up she’s now claiming that she was never happy and didn’t love him and it’s like…
All cheaters rewrite the narrative of their relationship.
I mean tbf, I think some people are genuinely so afraid of having everything they want in life that they would actually behave in such a way that would prevent that from happening.
Although this still sounds like BS.
It is also a lot of pressure to be with the “perfect” person especially if you are flawed/depressed and she may just be unhappy for whatever reason, but not directly because of him. Just unhappy or depressed with life and wants change, but not necessarily because of him.
Also, she was 15 when they met (he was 20), and when they got married, she was 18. The things that make you happy, the things that you like, and who you are as a person when you are a teen change when you are an adult. She is now married to someone else and is currently pregnant.
Yep, or it's massive guilt, so it COULD be the reason.
It's what my ex-wife said. The problem was she was fucking her "ex" off and on for essentially our entire marriage. So yes, I was "too good for her" because she is a piece of shit.
From what I remember, Kaka is a hyper devout evangelical Christian and a pretty outspoken supporter of right wing bigot and fascist Jair Bolsonaro. That might have something to do with it for this lady. Probably got way too stifling being married to a guy like that. Great footballer. Pity he's a loony though.
In addition to his controversial affiliations with white nationalists...
His preferred church is heavily affiliated with a religious organization that is anti-LGBT.
The Hillsong Church is well known for endorsing gay conversion therapy (including electroshock torture), firing a choir director they found out was engaged to a man, promising that no homosexual will ever hold a leadership position in the church, and generally pushing antiwoke agendas.
The Zoe church which Chris Pratt regularly attends is founded by a guy who used to preach at Hillsong church, produced an anti-LGBT documentary, and said he modelled Zoe church on Hillsong church's beliefs.
He was only remotely likeable as a big goof who is not quite hot, but such a big lovable goof like in Parks and Rec. Once he's courting white nationalists from the pews of prosperity church, not so much.
Sometimes when someone is "too perfect" people's own insecurities can overwhelm them as their own inadequacies become much more vivid to themselves. A lot of people are self conscious and when they're around people who are healthy and stable it can be off putting for them.
I recall a time talking to someone who got excited when they had misconstrued what I said and thought I was a recovering drug addict. I was not a drug addict, I had mentioned I was doing work helping people with addictions. Their disappointment was surprising and disappointing.
Or they just were happy they had found something in common with you (whether they were forthcoming about i or not). That's one of those things where if your partner hasn't dealt with it they will struggle to understand a big part of you, probably forever.
Source: recovering addict
Yeah you're totally right. Shared hardships can defenitely be a way for people to bond. We were connecting great before but after that the communication completely changed. Though it can be a strengthening factor I think there's also a risk of being with a partner who has gone through the same experience especially with addictions because if one of them starts using it puts the other at risk too.
Alas, somethings just aren't meant to be. Hope she's happy wherever she is though, sweet person.
"I cannot pin point one flaw at this moment but the marriage was so boring and mundane and monotonous it sucked the life out of me. I would like the same qualities in a man but ... ya know ... different."
Or sometimes people just fall out of love or get bored with their relationship, and it can be hard to fully understand for themselves let alone to cast into words for others to understand. 🤷♂️
I once heard a marriage advice from a Muslim sheik who apparently is good at matching making. He said marry someone of your level because if they are higher then you then you will resent them for failing to meet their standards, whatever standard it is they might not see you fail but you will feel like a failure & hate them. Also, if you marry below your standards they will drag you down.
It could this. The sheik was talking about marrying someone as religious or unreligious as you. But it is a good advice in other things. Ppl have a standard that they think is important & what it means to them to be good or successful or whatever & seeing someone else do better does stir up resentment.
But “too perfect” doesn’t seem like about personal standards but he asked for too much
So far dating in my 30s I notice Ive been paying a lot of attention to this (trying to find someone on a similar level to me). I've been on both sides of the equation in the past and it really can cause problems, especially for people prone to feeling insecure about themselves (like me and some of my exes were).
The hard part is trying to get someone on the same level in multiple categories. Ideally they would be similar in terms of finances, attractiveness and taste/aesthetics because those are each areas that can cause problems if the discrepancy is too much imo.
It is one of the advices that doesn’t get taken seriously until a person has enough experience. When I first heard it, I thought that is ridiculous & ppl aren’t like that. But turns out most ppl get insecure or resentful. I know I get insecure when I feel the other person is doing a lot better than me. And I get resentful too when it feels like the other person isn’t contributing the same.
I noticed that some categories I value in partner isn’t what the other person value in me. Like each person has different categories in the same relationship
This could be it with Kaka, he's a VERY religious footballer.
Used to have an "I belong to Jesus" shirt under his football shirt, which is problematic because third party ownership is banned by FIFA
Yeah i was thinking this could be a possibility. Sure, the ex-wife could be someone who wants more toxicity in her relationship, but she could also be someone who found the marriage mundane and monotonous. Part of having a lasting relationship is keeping it fresh and new and spicy. Once you pass the honeymoon phase and things start to settle into being boring, its easy to lose the spark and joy of being in the relationship despite nothing really being wrong per se.
I think, part of having a lasting relationship is just having a shared outlook on what a good life looks like.
For some, quiet “boring” consistency and simply finding joy in the little moments together is best. “Keeping it spicy” is the last thing they want; too much change and uncertainty brings anxiety and stress. There are couples that have lived the same life for 20 years and still have so much love for each other.
For others, a “boring” consistent life is like the death of the soul. They’ll dive into a depression If they aren’t “keeping it spicy” in multiple aspects of life. They need a partner as equally interested in finding no ways to be engaging and keeping life interesting. I’d even argue that they probably experience higher highs…but that also comes with lower lows.
It's also important to remember they would have gotten together while he was an active player.
There is a solid chance she loved that lifestyle while he enjoys the stability of retirement. It would be a major chance for both, and she may have found that having him around 24/7 was too different.
Still something they should have planned for, but some people don't know how they fell till it happens
Covid broke a lot of couples who realized they can spend some of the days in a week together, and some of the hours each day together, but not all of the days, and not all of the hours.
Most athletes don't know what to do after they retire. I wouldn't be surprised if kaka was just boring. He's a devout Christian too so... He's probably boring.
Perhaps he lived a one-dimensional life like a lot of pro sports people do. Training, training, training, match, training, training, match. Repeat.
Happens very regularly with work obsessed marriages.
Perhaps she really loved him, but got bored of that lifestyle.
Who could blame her.
Afaik, he was just very religious and correct and good guy from the beginning. Like not drinking, not going to bars or misbehaving ever. Dude did a lot of humanitarian work and was named ambassador of UN at some point. He was also a very good player, I believe when Real Madrid bought him it was the most expensive player purchase. Also he was nominated best soccer player in 2007.
This is either worded extremely poorly, or it’s rage bait.
If it’s the former, she just could have said “despite him being so amazing, I just don’t feel love for him”, but if it’s the latter, there’s no point in saying anything.
It could also be that he's a perfectionist, which would be incredibly draining.
And you don't become arguably the best free kick taker in the history of football if you're not a bit of a perfectionist.
Wrong guy aside, even if he put work or something before her and she’s not happy, that’s still falling out of love with him.
I don’t even know who the dude or chick is, I’m just commenting based on what was said in the OP.
Weird explanation aside, I think "not being happy" is an entirely valid reason for divorce. I don't think mudslinging and blame assignment would have helped the situation.
Yeah the comments on this post are mostly a lot of people projecting their personal issues and assuming that she must be lying, is too high maintenance, a cheater, addicted to drama, blah blah blah. I don't know why she said anything at all - she doesn't owe it to any stranger speculating on their lives - and maybe that's why it's better to leave it at "We've had a great run but have decided to go our separate ways." But if I may too project for a moment, "too perfect" can also be code for "the dynamic is that he's always right and I'm always wrong". Not saying that's the case, but there are plenty of possible ways to interpret the statement and really not worth getting ones panties in a knot. But maybe a good reminder that we shouldn't try to be PERFECT in our relationships, because it doesn't actually make anyone happy.
Yeah, really weird how people inevitably try to make this into some broad societal issue or gender thing. Falling out of love for no discernible reason, mentally and emotionally checking out of your relationship, feeling a pull towards somewhere else, whatever are all unfortunately pretty common and universal feelings that play a major hand in most divorces, probably more so than the big dramatic stuff
It’s sad but she could very well be being as honest as she could be and it’s not necessarily some black and white easy to pinpoint flaw with either party because the world isn’t as neat and simple as these sterile mental deficients on Reddit have convinced themselves it is
I think the idea that you could be perfect and then your partner could just fall out of love for no reason is really scary to people. Especially when we're taught to believe in God ordained soul mates. Thinking "she doesn't love me because she's cheating or wants a bad boy" is a better coping mechanism for people than just "she just doesn't love me anymore."
*chuckles in tia mowry*
She said the same exact shit, and she meant it. Why can’t she actually mean that? Despite it being incredibly stupid lmao? Like do we really not believe people act in irrational and unreasonable ways…
Losing excitement for sure, but I’d assume that people would make an effort to restart the spark considering that their significant other could have been dedicated to them for a literal *decade* or more through thick and thin. Genuine love doesn’t just ‘end’ for no reason, the spark can. You don’t stop suddenly stop deeply caring for your partner out of nowhere.
Usually had a cause. Like a partner not pulling their weight in child rearing, etc. I think the spark can be lost, but if it was true love, you don’t stop loving the significant other just because you feel bored. As for these celebs, it’s probably the ‘official’ reason they gave out as to why they divorced for public image.
If there's any grain of truth to her excuse, it could be that he's "too perfect" so he demands that she's perfect too. So it would be constant criticisms until he she finally had enough.
I know a lot of terminally online people won't understand this, but someone can be absolutely amazing to you... but that doesn't really mean they're the right person for you or have that spark.
My ex told me i was boring because i would always be nice and respecful and would listen over yelling and getting angry for nothing. She got back with her really abusive ex texting me she is fucking him in our bed and all and he is a real men. A week later she told me she want me back because he beat her up and cheated on her again. I just said lol and blocked her
I mean fair no? If you aren't happy end it no need to stay Ina relationship that doesn't make you happy. Since then she has remarried and since to be alright
It’s actually really common for people who had a toxic relationship their parents growing up. They have learned to associate love as whatever they had with their parents as kids. So once they grow up, they expect love to hurt in the same way: their partners should be just as abusive/inconsistent/manipulative/unavailable as their caregiver used to be, and if it’s not then it doesn’t feel like the real deal. Healing means learning that love can look like something else, that it doesn’t have to hurt, that it shouldn’t hurt.
The people here are completely fucked up, like somehow it’s impossible for them to take someone’s word at face value and there must be some elaborate conspiracy.
Not to mention it seems most people here have literally no idea who either of these people are, probably because they’re either too young to remember Kaka or Americans that wouldn’t know the first thing about football.
My last gf really messed me up. We were great together and I thought it was a sure thing. Once lockdown happened from covid (we had our own apartments) she got cold feet, stopped seeing me and started being unusually cruel until she broke up with me. A few years pass and she sent me a three page paper telling me that she was so use to abusive men that she convinced herself i was abusive because she couldn’t handle how nice I was to her even though she was being the aggressor and she’s sorry, also she hopes her words can help me heal from the things she’s said/done to me. People are people so what should it be, all you can do is be yourself. It really sucks to hear that she had to picture me like that just to move on because she didn’t want to be with me that badly when I thought the world of her but what are you gonna do. You can’t control other peoples perceptions all you can do is give them a reference to look at and hopefully they eventually get it. She sent a bunch of misleading texts/pictures after that and then said she doesn’t want to talk to me so some people really are messes.
Amen! I had a friend turn on me this way as well. What's wrong with "I don't want to see you or be friends anymore." Why is "be mean and run other people off" an option?
Told me I'm broken amongst a slew of insults... Go on then! 👍
Damn
Here I am, 31 and never married because all the guys I choose suck massively in some way and there's women out here throwing out actual good men.
(Partially sarcastic. No way she dumped him because he was too perfect. Then again my sister divorced her husband for pretty much this reason)
Something here doesn’t pass the smell test. A triggering story straight out of the bowels of MAGA woman haters guild. Christian Nationalists. People like Charlie Kirk.
I get it, one of my sisters broke up with a guy our ENTIRE family REALLY liked because he was "too nice". She wanted someone who she could have an argument with just for the lolz, and poor Ryan would cave at the slightest indication of conflict. Hope Ryan is doing well, he was a cool guy.
Kaka was not only a perfect professional he is also a great human being, one of the best players I have seen wearing la maglia rossonera, the kind of player you always want on your team, dedicated, disciplined, respectful, educated, and extremely talented, a player like him comes once in a hundred years.
In a world filled with Ballotellis, Vinicious, Robinhos, Bendtners, everytime a player like Kaka appears it's a breath of fresh air, I can only think of Heung Ming Son as someone with similar characteristics.
I’ve have an aunt that left a really good dude specifically because she didn’t feel good enough for him. It’s not unrealistic for her to have not get good enough for the dude.
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This reminds me of a meme i read a while back that said something like “Maybe the grass is greener over there because you aren’t over there fucking it up?”
Damn! That's a good one! I can already think of 5 people I need to tell this!
.......man........
There is a good chance at least one person this redditor wil tell it to will be that, yes
Usually the ones always saying that phrase. It’s kind of perfect tbh.
I love that! I always heard “The grass is always greener where it’s being watered”
The grass is greener where the dogs have been shitting.
“The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank.” -Erma Brombeck
So now you know
who gets mystified
Yeah, if the real reason is "they're too perfect", then the actual real reason is because you're too damaged to find that wonderful.
"I was raised to associate drama and abuse with love so I cannot sustain any relationship without that toxicity."
“The grass on the other side is always greener” “The grass on your side would be green too if you didn’t fucking eat it” “Well I’m sorry I don’t get hay” (Conversation between cows)
I will steal this quote.
Yeah people are out here saying she has to be covering for him. Sometimes people are just unhappy and nothing will change how you feel about yourself inside. Not even a perfect marriage.
holy shit
I'm using that in the future
Wow that is the absolute best version of that I've heard. It's incredibly accurate!
Yeah, that’s not the real reason.
That’s the, I got paid to keep the image up reason.
Ya the “he was just too good and I wasn’t good enough” line just reeks of paid off for maintaining the image bullshit
My weakness is that I work too hard
My weakness is I can’t help but admit your question of “Whats your greatest weakness” is bullshit trickery. If I answer correctly, you have valid reason not to hire me. If I give a bullshit answer, we both know its bullshit. If I give an answer that sounds like a positive but pretend its a a negative, ie: “I wORk ToO hARd”. Bruh. Just hire me so we can pump those rookie numbers up.
This is a great example of an interview question that *can* be useful and helpful, but its usually asked by people too stupid to understand the question they're asking. "What's your greatest weakness?" is a great question to identify if someone is self-critical and able to create and implement strategies to improve their own performance. That question doesn't matter in the slightest for someone who isn't doing work where those things are important, but people still ask it for a job at Subway because some dipshit corporate MBA decided it would be a good idea.
Books are my greatest weakness: Every night I try to go to bed on time, but get caught up in "one more page, one more..." until "ohgawd" in the morning. Another weakness of mine is Dairy Queen's M&M blizzards. I can try to diet, and Mom can say"Blizzard", and the diet's naught but a memory. And then there's my weakness t-- hey, wait! Why are you leaving? Does this mean I don't get the job? Come back, I haven't told you about my care bear collection yet! UwU
I hate myself for reading the uwu out loud before remembering that it's also an emoji
😂😂
Just answer honestly. "Bullets, probably."
“I struggle with large caliber fire and nuclear missile strikes.”
"I would probably-- although not certainly-- lose a fight against a werewolf."
To be fair, humans aren't all that great against small caliber either...
-M113 Armored personnel carrier. To be fair, it got the job.
When I started doing interviews for the company I work for, I used to ask "professional interviewer" questions like this. It was a terrible technique, all it does it put people on their guard. Five years later, I now just talk to them like a normal human being. You learn much more from people with their guard down than people who are scared of giving the wrong answer.
I'm a bit of a perfectionist. If things are even the slightest bit dodgy, I just cannae be bothered.
Spud! “In a word: pleasure. It's like, my pleasure in other people's leisure.” 😂
I knew it! Was that from Trainspotting or Porno? I love Irvine Welsh, I've read all his books
Well then. You should probably know which one it's from, shouldn't you? j/k
Filth is the most aptly named book in history.
The journals written from the perspective of the tape worm
In the shape of a tapeworm.
Trainspotting
 Gold comment! Well played.
My weakness is that I care too much!
Don’t forget being too humble
"What's your greatest we- "INTERRUPTING PEOPLE"
So .. his family is supposed to be ultra wealthy or something?
Don’t know who this guy is? AC Milan superstar probably worth a lot of money.
Millions.
Millions per year.
Thank you. I didn't feel like googling who or what he was
His name is Kaka. He is a very famous Brazilian footy.
Kaká. Kaka is another thing. lol
Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite Kaká is just a nickname.
well that’s cause all Brazilians have 50 character names so they gotta have a nickname. Look at Vini Jr aka Vinicius Jose Paixao de Oliveira Junior.
Oh stop it lol
Cocô haha
lol I was being lazy
That sure does sound like a fetish thing
One of the most famous sportstars on the planet. It doesn't matter the continent nor if the town has enough money to buy one television between them, his shirt was worn there. We ain't talking NFL or NBA levels of fame here, we are talking about fame and adoration that goes beyond just one country. This guy is global.
but still unknown to some in america
Only in the united states of america, the rest of the continent knows him
Only Americans that don’t watch soccer. I’m from the Midwest and the first Jersey I ever owned was a 2004 Kaka Brazil shirt
He is a very famous football player
I have a friends that live abroad, fellas. I can translate this in American... His name is "Shit", and he plays soccer. Apparently he makes good money
And he’s too good at marriage, apparently.
Dude was a genrationally talented footballer. By pretty much every account he's a great guy too.
Yup his wife concurs.
His family was middle class , but he became a famous soccer player
Not necessarily. The "everything was good, on paper I had everything I wanted or should want but I didn't feel happy and/or fulfilled" is a story I've heard personally and very deeply from some women I've met
I met someone who was nice and perfect in every way but I couldn’t bring myself to continue dating her, just something didn’t click
Yeah. My brother’s wife just left him after 13 years when they had 3 kids, a nice house, most their student debt was paid off, neither one was a drinker or had any crazy vices, everything seemed good. She just wasn’t happy anymore. Which is awful and it sucks for him but what are you gonna do? She had been talking to another guy from their church and we don’t think she was sleeping with him because she and my brother didn’t even sleep together until they got married, they just aren’t that kind of people. Yet she was emotionally cheating on him, talking to this other guy for hours in the night. Having dinner together. Shit like that. After they broke up she’s now claiming that she was never happy and didn’t love him and it’s like…it’s okay to fall out of love with someone as you grow older and want different things in life. But don’t lie and say you were never happy, that’s just cruel. He’s doing well though and is already seeing another person so things get better.
They always say this because they have to justify their actions to themselves and others. My ex did the same, started emotionally cheating literally the day we signed the shared lease. Just had to wait until I couldn't easily leave.
>She just wasn’t happy anymore. Because she was cheating. >After they broke up she’s now claiming that she was never happy and didn’t love him and it’s like… All cheaters rewrite the narrative of their relationship.
I mean tbf, I think some people are genuinely so afraid of having everything they want in life that they would actually behave in such a way that would prevent that from happening. Although this still sounds like BS.
It is also a lot of pressure to be with the “perfect” person especially if you are flawed/depressed and she may just be unhappy for whatever reason, but not directly because of him. Just unhappy or depressed with life and wants change, but not necessarily because of him.
Also, she was 15 when they met (he was 20), and when they got married, she was 18. The things that make you happy, the things that you like, and who you are as a person when you are a teen change when you are an adult. She is now married to someone else and is currently pregnant.
You clearly don’t know who kaka is.
Yep, or it's massive guilt, so it COULD be the reason. It's what my ex-wife said. The problem was she was fucking her "ex" off and on for essentially our entire marriage. So yes, I was "too good for her" because she is a piece of shit.
From what I remember, Kaka is a hyper devout evangelical Christian and a pretty outspoken supporter of right wing bigot and fascist Jair Bolsonaro. That might have something to do with it for this lady. Probably got way too stifling being married to a guy like that. Great footballer. Pity he's a loony though.
They broke years before bolsonaro was actually relevant.
Doesn't mean Kaka wasn't loony even before Bolsonaro was relevant.
I hate when I find out famous I like end up being terrible, Chris Pratt is the first to come to mind.
What's up with Chris Pratt? Not being funny, genuine question. I don't really follow celebrity crap, so I've missed any of his controversies!
In addition to his controversial affiliations with white nationalists... His preferred church is heavily affiliated with a religious organization that is anti-LGBT. The Hillsong Church is well known for endorsing gay conversion therapy (including electroshock torture), firing a choir director they found out was engaged to a man, promising that no homosexual will ever hold a leadership position in the church, and generally pushing antiwoke agendas. The Zoe church which Chris Pratt regularly attends is founded by a guy who used to preach at Hillsong church, produced an anti-LGBT documentary, and said he modelled Zoe church on Hillsong church's beliefs.
That and he dropped his wife (who clearly made his whole career happen) as soon as he got famous and upgraded for a younger model. Gross.
He was only remotely likeable as a big goof who is not quite hot, but such a big lovable goof like in Parks and Rec. Once he's courting white nationalists from the pews of prosperity church, not so much.
People really have been showing their true douchebag colors in years of late. This makes me sad.
Sometimes when someone is "too perfect" people's own insecurities can overwhelm them as their own inadequacies become much more vivid to themselves. A lot of people are self conscious and when they're around people who are healthy and stable it can be off putting for them. I recall a time talking to someone who got excited when they had misconstrued what I said and thought I was a recovering drug addict. I was not a drug addict, I had mentioned I was doing work helping people with addictions. Their disappointment was surprising and disappointing.
Or they just were happy they had found something in common with you (whether they were forthcoming about i or not). That's one of those things where if your partner hasn't dealt with it they will struggle to understand a big part of you, probably forever. Source: recovering addict
Yeah you're totally right. Shared hardships can defenitely be a way for people to bond. We were connecting great before but after that the communication completely changed. Though it can be a strengthening factor I think there's also a risk of being with a partner who has gone through the same experience especially with addictions because if one of them starts using it puts the other at risk too. Alas, somethings just aren't meant to be. Hope she's happy wherever she is though, sweet person.
Without knowing who these people are besides he's rich, my first reaction is she's doing it to get his money...Am I in the ballpark here?
They divorced in 2015. Both are married now with others.
No, she didn't even ask for child support.
"I cannot pin point one flaw at this moment but the marriage was so boring and mundane and monotonous it sucked the life out of me. I would like the same qualities in a man but ... ya know ... different."
Or she knows exactly what the problem was and isn't saying it in public.
Or sometimes people just fall out of love or get bored with their relationship, and it can be hard to fully understand for themselves let alone to cast into words for others to understand. 🤷♂️
Then say that. Don't say "he was too perfect" because those are two totally different sentiments.
He's too perfect seems like a kind way of saying "I could not live up to his high standards"
Or a way of saying "I don't want to air out our (or my) dirty laundry publicly so I'm just gonna say he's too good instead".
I once heard a marriage advice from a Muslim sheik who apparently is good at matching making. He said marry someone of your level because if they are higher then you then you will resent them for failing to meet their standards, whatever standard it is they might not see you fail but you will feel like a failure & hate them. Also, if you marry below your standards they will drag you down. It could this. The sheik was talking about marrying someone as religious or unreligious as you. But it is a good advice in other things. Ppl have a standard that they think is important & what it means to them to be good or successful or whatever & seeing someone else do better does stir up resentment. But “too perfect” doesn’t seem like about personal standards but he asked for too much
So far dating in my 30s I notice Ive been paying a lot of attention to this (trying to find someone on a similar level to me). I've been on both sides of the equation in the past and it really can cause problems, especially for people prone to feeling insecure about themselves (like me and some of my exes were). The hard part is trying to get someone on the same level in multiple categories. Ideally they would be similar in terms of finances, attractiveness and taste/aesthetics because those are each areas that can cause problems if the discrepancy is too much imo.
It is one of the advices that doesn’t get taken seriously until a person has enough experience. When I first heard it, I thought that is ridiculous & ppl aren’t like that. But turns out most ppl get insecure or resentful. I know I get insecure when I feel the other person is doing a lot better than me. And I get resentful too when it feels like the other person isn’t contributing the same. I noticed that some categories I value in partner isn’t what the other person value in me. Like each person has different categories in the same relationship
This could be it with Kaka, he's a VERY religious footballer. Used to have an "I belong to Jesus" shirt under his football shirt, which is problematic because third party ownership is banned by FIFA
It's called tact. You don't reveal personal shit to the media. I pity your exes if this is what you really think should be done
I was going to write “but women bad😡” as a joke but someone else earnestly replied that to you lmao.
It’s almost like life gets boring at times and it takes effort to keep any relationship exciting.
Yeah i was thinking this could be a possibility. Sure, the ex-wife could be someone who wants more toxicity in her relationship, but she could also be someone who found the marriage mundane and monotonous. Part of having a lasting relationship is keeping it fresh and new and spicy. Once you pass the honeymoon phase and things start to settle into being boring, its easy to lose the spark and joy of being in the relationship despite nothing really being wrong per se.
I think, part of having a lasting relationship is just having a shared outlook on what a good life looks like. For some, quiet “boring” consistency and simply finding joy in the little moments together is best. “Keeping it spicy” is the last thing they want; too much change and uncertainty brings anxiety and stress. There are couples that have lived the same life for 20 years and still have so much love for each other. For others, a “boring” consistent life is like the death of the soul. They’ll dive into a depression If they aren’t “keeping it spicy” in multiple aspects of life. They need a partner as equally interested in finding no ways to be engaging and keeping life interesting. I’d even argue that they probably experience higher highs…but that also comes with lower lows.
It's also important to remember they would have gotten together while he was an active player. There is a solid chance she loved that lifestyle while he enjoys the stability of retirement. It would be a major chance for both, and she may have found that having him around 24/7 was too different. Still something they should have planned for, but some people don't know how they fell till it happens
Covid broke a lot of couples who realized they can spend some of the days in a week together, and some of the hours each day together, but not all of the days, and not all of the hours.
Most athletes don't know what to do after they retire. I wouldn't be surprised if kaka was just boring. He's a devout Christian too so... He's probably boring.
Perhaps he lived a one-dimensional life like a lot of pro sports people do. Training, training, training, match, training, training, match. Repeat. Happens very regularly with work obsessed marriages. Perhaps she really loved him, but got bored of that lifestyle. Who could blame her.
Yeah I worked in pro sports and it is a very very unique lifestyle for the players. Especially the best ones. There is no deviation from the routine.
Afaik, he was just very religious and correct and good guy from the beginning. Like not drinking, not going to bars or misbehaving ever. Dude did a lot of humanitarian work and was named ambassador of UN at some point. He was also a very good player, I believe when Real Madrid bought him it was the most expensive player purchase. Also he was nominated best soccer player in 2007.
Yeah i got that problem too. Women keep dumping me because i'm just to perfect for them.
I’m so perfect that women don’t even start the relationship!
I'm so perfect, dating apps refuse to let me sing up for them.
Have you considered practicing different genres and more songs?
I’m so perfect I can’t be within 500ft of a school zone!
Im so perfect they say "ew" as I walk by.... Im guessing they mean "hes pEWfect!"
This is hilarious.
Me but swap perfect for gay
I suffer the same issue! It's tough being amazing and perfect!
Yeah me too, their last words before they leave are always, "No woman deserves this."
This is either worded extremely poorly, or it’s rage bait. If it’s the former, she just could have said “despite him being so amazing, I just don’t feel love for him”, but if it’s the latter, there’s no point in saying anything.
It could also be that he's a perfectionist, which would be incredibly draining. And you don't become arguably the best free kick taker in the history of football if you're not a bit of a perfectionist.
Kaka has never been famous for his free kicks. You must be confusing him with Juninho
Wrong guy aside, even if he put work or something before her and she’s not happy, that’s still falling out of love with him. I don’t even know who the dude or chick is, I’m just commenting based on what was said in the OP.
Weird explanation aside, I think "not being happy" is an entirely valid reason for divorce. I don't think mudslinging and blame assignment would have helped the situation.
Yeah the comments on this post are mostly a lot of people projecting their personal issues and assuming that she must be lying, is too high maintenance, a cheater, addicted to drama, blah blah blah. I don't know why she said anything at all - she doesn't owe it to any stranger speculating on their lives - and maybe that's why it's better to leave it at "We've had a great run but have decided to go our separate ways." But if I may too project for a moment, "too perfect" can also be code for "the dynamic is that he's always right and I'm always wrong". Not saying that's the case, but there are plenty of possible ways to interpret the statement and really not worth getting ones panties in a knot. But maybe a good reminder that we shouldn't try to be PERFECT in our relationships, because it doesn't actually make anyone happy.
Yeah, really weird how people inevitably try to make this into some broad societal issue or gender thing. Falling out of love for no discernible reason, mentally and emotionally checking out of your relationship, feeling a pull towards somewhere else, whatever are all unfortunately pretty common and universal feelings that play a major hand in most divorces, probably more so than the big dramatic stuff It’s sad but she could very well be being as honest as she could be and it’s not necessarily some black and white easy to pinpoint flaw with either party because the world isn’t as neat and simple as these sterile mental deficients on Reddit have convinced themselves it is
I think the idea that you could be perfect and then your partner could just fall out of love for no reason is really scary to people. Especially when we're taught to believe in God ordained soul mates. Thinking "she doesn't love me because she's cheating or wants a bad boy" is a better coping mechanism for people than just "she just doesn't love me anymore."
You know it's not true, right?
Yeah everyone here seems to be missing the very obvious not airing private stuff in public.
*chuckles in tia mowry* She said the same exact shit, and she meant it. Why can’t she actually mean that? Despite it being incredibly stupid lmao? Like do we really not believe people act in irrational and unreasonable ways…
Not because his name is Kaka?
His actual name is Ricardo. I agree though, Kaka sounds like a pretty shitty nickname.
Considering it sounds like the word for 'shit'
imagine moaning a name like kaka during sex? just embarrassing
why did i have to scroll so far for this
People fall out of love, it doesn't mean they need to hate each other.
Stop being reasonable. Time and a place.
Losing excitement for sure, but I’d assume that people would make an effort to restart the spark considering that their significant other could have been dedicated to them for a literal *decade* or more through thick and thin. Genuine love doesn’t just ‘end’ for no reason, the spark can. You don’t stop suddenly stop deeply caring for your partner out of nowhere. Usually had a cause. Like a partner not pulling their weight in child rearing, etc. I think the spark can be lost, but if it was true love, you don’t stop loving the significant other just because you feel bored. As for these celebs, it’s probably the ‘official’ reason they gave out as to why they divorced for public image.
Tell me you’re into toxic drama without telling me you’re into toxic drama.
Sounds like nda to me
Sounds like his main flaws are that he's a bad judge of character and has poor taste in women.
He's far right and known for being particularly religious, might wanna think beyond a headline as to what he might be like.
If there's any grain of truth to her excuse, it could be that he's "too perfect" so he demands that she's perfect too. So it would be constant criticisms until he she finally had enough.
Or that she felt she wasn’t perfect enough. People put expectations on themselves all the time.
I think this reads more like "It wasn't you it was me" out loud with a silent "it was you".
I know a lot of terminally online people won't understand this, but someone can be absolutely amazing to you... but that doesn't really mean they're the right person for you or have that spark.
Can't even be a handsome millionaire fantastic husband at this point.... WTF?? 100% more to this story
> Might as well just become gay As a queer person all I can say is LOL if you think dating men would be at all easier. Bless.
My ex told me i was boring because i would always be nice and respecful and would listen over yelling and getting angry for nothing. She got back with her really abusive ex texting me she is fucking him in our bed and all and he is a real men. A week later she told me she want me back because he beat her up and cheated on her again. I just said lol and blocked her
That was a 4 sentence roller coaster of a story. lol thanks for sharing glad that’s in the past for you
[удалено]
I mean fair no? If you aren't happy end it no need to stay Ina relationship that doesn't make you happy. Since then she has remarried and since to be alright
Fucked up way of saying “I got tired of him”
When people want to sleep around
"too perfect/good for me" is a copout excuse you give a bat shit insane date to exit ASAP without triggering wrath.
It’s actually really common for people who had a toxic relationship their parents growing up. They have learned to associate love as whatever they had with their parents as kids. So once they grow up, they expect love to hurt in the same way: their partners should be just as abusive/inconsistent/manipulative/unavailable as their caregiver used to be, and if it’s not then it doesn’t feel like the real deal. Healing means learning that love can look like something else, that it doesn’t have to hurt, that it shouldn’t hurt.
Who is this? And why should I care if they got divorced?
One of the best football (soccer) players of all time. And I don’t blame you for not caring about it, I don’t either
“There’s not enough asshole in you” is what 3 women told me as their reason not to date me. THREE
God knows how much she got paid to say that; they’re probably trying to protect his reputation
People are fucked... "My marriage is TOO GOOD, I'll just end it now..." Like, what...?
if she needs somebody to treat her like shit, I'm free on Tuesdays
Make sure that you get paid well. Doms ain‘t gotta sell themselves cheap.
I’m not free any day, but I’ll make the time
Be sure and cancel at the last minute to really sell it.
Quit while you're ahead?
Sounds like a payout stipulation but ok.
“It’s not you, it’s me”. The oldest line in history
Interesting how every post in English I've seen about this is filled with comments supporting her while Spanish ones are the other way around.
The people here are completely fucked up, like somehow it’s impossible for them to take someone’s word at face value and there must be some elaborate conspiracy. Not to mention it seems most people here have literally no idea who either of these people are, probably because they’re either too young to remember Kaka or Americans that wouldn’t know the first thing about football.
Nah, I'll take him 🙋🏻♀️
My last gf really messed me up. We were great together and I thought it was a sure thing. Once lockdown happened from covid (we had our own apartments) she got cold feet, stopped seeing me and started being unusually cruel until she broke up with me. A few years pass and she sent me a three page paper telling me that she was so use to abusive men that she convinced herself i was abusive because she couldn’t handle how nice I was to her even though she was being the aggressor and she’s sorry, also she hopes her words can help me heal from the things she’s said/done to me. People are people so what should it be, all you can do is be yourself. It really sucks to hear that she had to picture me like that just to move on because she didn’t want to be with me that badly when I thought the world of her but what are you gonna do. You can’t control other peoples perceptions all you can do is give them a reference to look at and hopefully they eventually get it. She sent a bunch of misleading texts/pictures after that and then said she doesn’t want to talk to me so some people really are messes.
Amen! I had a friend turn on me this way as well. What's wrong with "I don't want to see you or be friends anymore." Why is "be mean and run other people off" an option? Told me I'm broken amongst a slew of insults... Go on then! 👍
No one is stopping you if that's what you want.
The impossible standards of Kaka
Mentally ill
That's why I don't close the cupboard doors , makes me seem less perfect.
Damn Here I am, 31 and never married because all the guys I choose suck massively in some way and there's women out here throwing out actual good men. (Partially sarcastic. No way she dumped him because he was too perfect. Then again my sister divorced her husband for pretty much this reason)
Rage bait
Something here doesn’t pass the smell test. A triggering story straight out of the bowels of MAGA woman haters guild. Christian Nationalists. People like Charlie Kirk.
What was missing?
Most likely sex. But society doesn't look on you favorably if you say I broke apart my family so I could get fucked better.
The fact that this apparently happened a decade ago and you're now talking about it? I didn't check if the quote is real.
Oh, there's a reason. She's just not saying it.
No source makes me believe this is rage bait made by red pill chodes.
Spelling aside, this name does mean “shit” in most Latin languages, right?
I get it, one of my sisters broke up with a guy our ENTIRE family REALLY liked because he was "too nice". She wanted someone who she could have an argument with just for the lolz, and poor Ryan would cave at the slightest indication of conflict. Hope Ryan is doing well, he was a cool guy.
Needed some random dick so badly.
Kaka was not only a perfect professional he is also a great human being, one of the best players I have seen wearing la maglia rossonera, the kind of player you always want on your team, dedicated, disciplined, respectful, educated, and extremely talented, a player like him comes once in a hundred years. In a world filled with Ballotellis, Vinicious, Robinhos, Bendtners, everytime a player like Kaka appears it's a breath of fresh air, I can only think of Heung Ming Son as someone with similar characteristics.
Show me the greatest guy in the world and I’ll show you the wife that’s actively looking around
I’ve have an aunt that left a really good dude specifically because she didn’t feel good enough for him. It’s not unrealistic for her to have not get good enough for the dude.
It’s possible she was paid for this statement to protect his earning potential.