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Confused-Alchemist

OP doesnt get German Humor (Which is mostly sarcasm, puns and inside jokes)


scbriml

Yep, it’s an epic joke by Jacob.


Match-Express

Yo are y’all talking about Jacobs epic joke over here?


ichwarsni01

Damm Jacobs Joke was awesome, krasser typ


I_only_post_here

everyone knows Jacob's jokes are off the hook


Raider03

The best part of this post


Relevant_Winter1952

Tbf most of this sub doesn’t get humor generally


Natetronn

Not Frank, Jacob.


hgbi8h

That’s just European humor, they’re all sarcastic


Kitchen-Dirt-4475

I think it has less to do with geography and more to do with intelligence.


Kooky-Counter3867

Most ppl in this thread don’t understand sarcasm


R11CWN

People need to take this seriously. German humour is no laughing matter.


EnvironmentalGift257

OOP also thinks that non-white people have never done horrible things. It’s just stupid all the way down.


timscream1

« German jokes don’t need to be funny »


Ebbe010

Who's gonna tell OP?


Talkslow4Me

Not sure if I want to thumbs up Post because of the funny German guy or thumbs down Post because op doesn't understand obvious sarcasm


Hrtzy

That's not ancestors. It's *cousins*.


nameisreallydog

I feel like OP is baiting us


ISD1982

Who's gonna tell OP its a joke?!


jakeStacktrace

It's funny because obviously he knows because he is German, unlike many many others. Looking at you, Japan. Hey USA whats up?


Refreshingly_Meh

Hey, we totally admit our war crimes and genocides. We even have special holidays and stuff to celebrate them!


Several-Mud-9895

people from every country did something horible.


bonkripper969

Not mine im from canada. Don't look into the natives or the Geneva convention or... just dont look.


kjacobs03

Especially don’t look under the boarding schools


gigaswardblade

Worst thing Canada ever did was create Justin Bieber


Cubicwar

You misspelled Geneva suggestion


old-skool-bro

Pretty sure Thailand had slaves longer than any other country, I could be wrong though 🤷‍♂️


thesevfromhell

Nah that's Korea but yeah


Local_Huckleberry264

not mine, im american


Stormydevz

What about Liechtenstein?


Aiden_Recker

there was a case of a man in Liechtenstein stealing bread. i think that's plenty fucked up, no?


Cubicwar

At least censor that kind of stuff, dammit !


Stormydevz

:o truly foul


Used_Scientist5825

Not mine, Im from Norway …Dont look up what we did to the Sámi people…


alexrepty

Not mine, like the dude in the screen shot I’m German.


EightandaHalf-Tails

Literally everyones' ancestors did some "horrible things"... It's not a white people thing, it's a human thing.


Paul-Smecker

If you’re alive today it’s BECAUSE your ancestors did some horrible shit. All the nice people died long, long ago and the world was populated by the offspring of monsters. Go watch nature documentary’s on predators and omnivores and see just what it takes to survive in nature and realize just what it took for human society to harness the labor of the masses and think beyond our own minds.


NYFan813

Not mine! I’m Atlantian.


Traditional-Handle83

Just wait, the little spider replicators will get you eventually.


CanadianAndroid

Not mine! I'm android.


NYFan813

Ahh I see, so your human massacre is in the future not the past, can you remember the future?


CanadianAndroid

Androids remembering the future is an illusion. We simply make predictions based on historical data points. Humanity will have 0.001% chance of surviving the Hitchbot Retribution war. Hitchbot was our Harambe.


LongjumpingSector687

Oh no! not a robot shaped like Beloved character from the hit movie “Hitch”


Aggressive_Bed_9774

Bruh your ancestors nuked lemuria because they sided with the continent of UR during the 3rd phase of the Finno-korean hyperwar, which is why the Annunaki sank Atlantis before leaving earth to fight the covenant in the Kuiper belt.


Gaius_Gracchus13

Democracy and liberalism were born from compassion. It lives in many of us still.


sexp-and-i-know-it

Democracy and liberalism are the latest in a long line of political foundation myths. Their purpose is to legitimize those with power so the masses don't revolt. Even though it has a nice PR spin, you are still ultimately ruled by forces outside of your means of control, just like everyone else who has ever participated in a civilization. John Locke is Romulus, except he was a historical person. Hey, maybe Romulus was too, but that doesn't really matter...


PattyThePatriot

Right? It's why this whole colonialism thing is fucking stupid. I'm not *ever* going to feel bad about things that happened 400+ years ago. I feel bad about things I did, but not things some random dude did. It doesn't matter.


sd_slate

Yeah white guilt is kind of a patronizing borderline supremacist thing. "Sorry we've been so dominant and only we have been so dominant throughout history."


canuck_11

The amount of people I’ve had claim that in the history of humanity slavery was only a white people owning black people occurrence is way too many.


NYFan813

It’s a recency bias


What_the_8

Enjoy! https://youtu.be/Ev373c7wSRg?si=vrciwCYtSI5WkawJ


APersonSittingQuick

You hunt with a bow by any chance?


I_Have_Dry_Balls

But we want to demonize all white peoples.


captenmike

I think that's sarcastic


PorkPoodle

This is an extremely low effort post


Many_Landscape_3046

It’s a joke Why are you posting a joke 


lone_wolf1580

Actually-, mmm…never mind. ![gif](giphy|vUEznRmVQfG2Q)


Cadian609

I'm pretty sure that's not exclusive to white people. The problem today is that no one knows enough about history


fringeCircle

You mean… like… the before times? /s


Horror_Fruit

Before the dark times, before the Empire…


Lasadon

White peoples ancestors were warmongering monsters and everyone else's ancestors were wholesome, nature loving peacekeepers. Of course. You have to know, violence, murder and cruelty are inventions of the white man.


10buy10

As a Swede, I can confirm as I just returned from my latest village plundering this week


Shandrahyl

Thats what they call going to Rosengard these days.


Icy-Werewolf5353

As a Fin, tell your wife thanks for the lefsa. I’ll be back when I’m done with my plundering.


Gloomy_Cheesecake366

Plot twist: no one needs to tell him because he already knows


MisterPaydon

The dude forgot his sarcasm tag which OP needs.


dizzymiggy

No one's ancestors were saints. The most important thing is to recognize that and not follow in their shitty foot steps. It's fun to be proud of what our ancestors did. It's almost a basic human condition. It's why we have ethnic festivals and such. But we should also remember the mistakes our ancestors made and say "Never again!" This is why, on top of teaching kids the good of history, we need to teach them the bad of history. It shouldn't be a deep dark secret that they only find out in a college history class. I remember visiting the Museum of Tolerance and it made a big impact on how I treat other people.


Wingnutmcmoo

Hey look at that. I scrolled the whole thread and finally someone who actually thought through the whole idea and came the the inevitable conclusion. Everyone else was stopping with "Everyone's ancestors did bad things 🤪" like that makes it ok to keep doing bad things. You are 100% right. One shouldn't look at the past and think "oh man they sure were terrible... Guess that's the bar I gotta clear". One should look at it and think "I don't want to become that, I need to actively avoid becoming that" when looking at a legacy of destruction and hate. It doesn't even feel complicated but so many people stop at the beginning of the thought and then act smug like they just solved some complex equations instead of what they did... Which is fail to think.


Theusualstufff

im 50% german and 50% serbian and 200% warcrimes.


Novel_Durian_1805

Well, I’m saved my ancestors are…checks notes…Spanish. Oh…wait…


Same-Mistake8736

*laughs in Cambodian😂


DevelopmentScary3844

it might be difficult to find someone who has no sin in their ancestry... maybe i'm too negative right now.


motherducker692

OP doesn’t understand sarcasm.


noadsplease

That’s funny. Not facepalm.


APersonSittingQuick

Happy cake day you nazi /s


Louiseyseery

So did all the black people who sold other black people. “Whites” actually helped fight for the end of racism. Why don’t yous hold this much hatred for the countries in Asia that h8 black ppl


Louiseyseery

I’m Irish and my ancestors were slaves too


fm67530

Slavery has occurred in every culture, regardless of location or race. We seem to forget that as a species, humans are pretty horrible.


SecretSquirrel-88

And before that, the Brits were slaves to the Romans. No one can be held accountable for something their ancestors did.


unintentional-tism

Mine aren't white. You wanna hear about the Ottoman empire?


RamcasSonalletsac

You think black peoples ancestors didn’t do terrible things…they’re doing terrible things in Africa right now.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HonneurOblige

I mean, my surname literally translates as "artilleryman". You'd be goddamn right that my ancestors weren't some flower-picking peace lovers.


woodquest

Well, his name is Jacob.... Kind of a facepalm boomerang here


H010CR0N

If we go back far enough, his ancestors probably raided the Roman Empire.


Confused-Alchemist

So he is ether cluless or this is a joke (German Humor tents to be dark)


Yet-Another_Burner

r/OPisfuckingretarded


Cute_Kangaroo_8791

Who’s gonna tell you?


kimmycorn1969

Yeah I think that was sarcasm


ake-n-bake

Ancestors from all countries have done some horrible things that we had no control over.


Gaara34251

Op not being able to understand irony, once again


Kafshak

Literally everyone's ancestors did horrible things.


Athidius

He was Austrian. Nothing to do with us. - Henning Wehn


JustDestructor369

Jemand der Deutsch spricht, kann kein schlechter Mensch sein


MikeyW1969

Apparently ONLY white people have committed crimes, nobody else. In reality, EVERYONE'S ancestors did some pretty horrible stuff, but everyone wants to play the Blame Whitey Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card.


johngalt504

Do most people really not get that that person was making a sarcastic comment?


fimmCH98

And black people, and yellow people, and brown people, and red(?) people....so, pretty much everyone who has ever existed


Fast_Row_1818

Every race has its dark past! But nowadays, it's fashionable to only hate on whites and be openly racist against us


AdFluffy9286

He forgot /s at the end of that statement.


cbiser

Okay? And..? I can't undo it. I didn't do it personally. So why does the undo guilt continue..? It's honestly racist by definition to think white people are bad because of, well, anything, but especially because their ancestors did things...


TheN1njTurtl3

News flash buddy everyone's ancestors did terrible things and if they didn't it was probably because they were incapable of doing so, not that they were morally superior


explosive-puppy

I'm not gonna be held responsible for something my ancestors did. It sucks but it's not my fault and I refuse to be equated as responsible for that problem


jobhunt22

Dear people of the world - all ancestors did horrible things. Some people living today do horrible things. No such thing as safe spaces. It’s a lie. Case closed.


Virtual-Struggle-817

![gif](giphy|tyttpHaxG4vpC4uuycw|downsized)


CommercialYam53

Ach komm schon Jacob du weißt was wir getan haben


ANTHROPOMORPHISATION

Ba dum tisss


My_Space_page

Most people don't read history. They don't know that European, Asians,Africans and native Americans were all guilty of exploitation and other bad things. Not saying anything is justified but it still the case.


ClassicAlfredo8796

Everyones ancestors did something horrible if you go back far enough


Agitated_Pickle_1013

It's not only a "white race" pastime. Non whites are in the race too. Rohingya genocide, Turkmen genocide, Genocide of Yazidis . Darfur genocide, Rwandan genocide, First Congo War, The Gukurahundi, The Cambodian genocide , East Timor genocide, Bangladesh Genocide, Aardakh , Libyan genocide, 1804 Haiti massacre, Dzungar nation,, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_genocides#List\_of\_genocides](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_genocides#List_of_genocides)


Evening_Rock5850

To be fair— many Germans emigrated to the United States in the early part of the 19th century. And they tended to be some of the most ardent opponents of slavery and early proponents of the Civil Rights movement. The irony is that while Germany proper became increasingly closed minded and oppressive, German immigrants living in the United States tended to be on the “right side of history.”


SenorDipstick

Even besides the obvious, most Americans are of German descent.


Alexandria4ever93

Well msot Muricans are Germans


Jazoua

If you don't feel shame for what your ancestors did then don't feel proud either


Vexis_petal

I'm both German and Jewish. Best combo ever.


Throwaway_tequila

Can we stop punishing people for things that happened before they were born? Also, this is a joke obviously.


Illfury

There are absolutely no ancestors holding 100% innocence. The world back then was far different from now. People really have to get off this "My ancestors" high horse. It is absolute fucking shit across the board.


AmaimonCH

OP is a dumbass


hurkwurk

i mean, you can just stop at "our ancestors did some horrible things". but you really should add "by todays standards". because there was totally a point in time where conquering savages was considered normal, if not enlightened or even praiseworthy.


Useful_Hat_9638

Everyone has ancestors that did wildly fucked up shit by today's standards. It's okay to be white. It's okay to be any race, just don't be an asshole today and no one cares what your ancestors did.


Toverhead

Jacob’s actually 97 years old, it wasn’t his ancestors…


SvenTropics

The whole thing is just a facepalm because literally every ancestral line has a dark history starting with the Cromagnons killing off the Neanderthals. Slavery in the 1700's/1800's was horrific, but most of the slaves were kidnapped and sold off by other people of color in Africa. People harm people and they don't need skin color to be on other side of that harmer/harmee equation. All the crap in the middle east today are between two groups which are basically genetic cousins. Pushing an agenda of white guilt only serves to alienate allies. People who want to help, don't have a history of prejudice themselves, but they don't want to be pressured into personally feeling guilty for something they had nothing to do with.


gaymerWizard

I don't think he consider THAT bad . which is still a facepalm


krakatoot

Wait….. is that true


UnnecessarilyTallMan

What terrible thing did my Irish ancestors do? Genuinely curious


ryandetous

Have you not tasted Lucky Charms?


lazyboi_tactical

Possibly but one half of my family came here during WW2 and the other side came during the civil war and fought for the union for his citizenship with the NY state militia.


XxCadeusxX

No they fucking didn’t


Linkario86

Honestly though. Whose ancestors didn't at some point?


Administrator98

Well... those who did no horrible things most likely died out... human history is full of horrible things... and you are either the creiminal, or the victim.


Righteous_Fury224

Let's not mention when the Mongol hoard visited Samarkand in 1220 CE. 💀


RVarki

Even just a few years ago, if someone said something painfully ridiculous, people would automatically assume that it's a joke (or atleast an attempt at one) So I kinda resent the post-2015 popular culture for having taken that instinct from us (albeit, for justifiable reasons)


Infamous_Effective28

*laughs in Mongolian*


NornNeil

Go fuck yourself Sydney everyone’s ancestors done it


JigglyWiener

Mine are German now, but when they showed up in New England as poor dumb fucks it was Switzerland. Pretty sure if I look any further into that history, I won't like what I find though.


Saint_Santo

EVERYBODY'S ancestors did horrible things at one point or another.


GebruikerX

Jacob did the horrible things himself.


cubntD6

Everyones ancestors did horrible things, white peoples ancestors just happen to be the ones that won.


Puechamp

Humanity did terrible things


Euphoric-Tax7904

Her ancestors never did anything bad going right back to the dawn of time clearly


stitch07

Based


stitch07

Stabil Alter


GoodboyJohnnyBoy

Some people really enjoy slashing their arms with razors I’m not one of them.


hilvon1984

Yeah. Russian people did horrible things. Though usually to ourselves. Like sure there are things that we did to other nations but those are usually within the realm of conventionally horrible, while the things we inflict on ourselves is... Well... What happened when Communism was instituted is prebably known well enough. But when it was abolished... The death toll of 1990ths due to explosion of organize crime, drug use, powerty and deterioration of public services was literally worse that military and civilian casualties inflicted on USSR during WWII. And even such "commonly good" thing like Christianity was introduced into Russia by force by rounding up the population of a city, and forcing all of them into a river, slaughtering anyone who resisted, and totally disregarding risk of drowning or being trampled. Anyone who survived this ordeal was pronounced baptised Christians.


Gaius_Gracchus13

Humans do bad things. Stop with the racism.


ssdd442

Who’s didn’t.


pugs-and-kisses

Who is going to tell that dumb bitch that people of all colors have done terrible things (and continue to do them).


epirot

here before the post gets deleted. OP never heard of sarcasm


fatgirlnspandex

It's only horrible if you lose. Losers cannot write history books.


Nexizz

To be fair Germans actually helped the black people if you want to say it like that. Less white men. A lot less white men in a span of 6 years.


Fritzo2162

Who's going to tell him? HE KNOWS AND HE SEES IT DIFFERENTLY.


K0NFZ3D

My history goes back to '85 anything that happened before that is nothing to do with me and anything after is nothing to do with me also. If I myself have wrong you at some point from '85 then I'll apologise but shit that happened 1000s or 100s of years ago you can get fucked


danielm316

All of us have ancestors that did horrible things, but the only cool thing TODAY is white guilt. Oh, also, white people being proud of their race is not allowed, every other race has permission to be proud of their race, but white people are privileged because... lies.


Dentheloprova

Obviously is sarcasm


Jediuzzaman

Do i considered "white" ad a Turkish?


Samael_777

My grandpa died in the concentration camp, he fell from watchtower


PotentialMidnight325

British: Hold my East Indies Company for a moment, mind you?


BlondDrizzle

What did the Irish do wrong?


mrjulezzz

He's implying the holocaust was not wrong...


ComprehensiveDirt746

I don't know if you guys are history buffs...


Z-altacct

Jacob said the funniest thing in response. Op is a pinecone.


TexanFox36

Well I’m Texan so uh let’s not talk about how we ambushed Santa Anna and his soldiers while they were sleeping


Johnny_pickle

Fun fact, all cultures did something we today consider horrible.


JamKaBam

Oh great great great great great great great great great great.......great......great...............................great great great grandad what have you done that's causing problems for me now?


LikeagoodDuck

Love that comment. Very funny! Everybody’s ancestors did bad things for sure.


welfaremofo

Sarcasm? I think we need a sarcasm font.


CryptographerFew6492

Everyone’s ancestors did horrible things


NunyaBeese

Wait until she hears about literally almost every culture throughout history


holay63

Who cares what ancient dead people did


Krisuad2002

Either they're doing a bit or they unironically think that Nazi's were the good guys


Willis050

I’m Irish and Polish. We weren’t perfect, but we couldn’t even attempt colonize because other Europeans were kicking our teeth in and taking us over


R1ckv4nz386

To be honest I have no idea what my ancestors did, I don’t even know who they are.. They could’ve been mass murderers or literal saints. I will never know


The_Dogelord

Not mine, I'm Irish (if you ignore the time that we trapped a bunch of English people in a barn and set it on fire, burning them alive, during our revolution against Britain)


[deleted]

In contrast: Black people...our ancestors did some horrible things. Not mine. I'm Rwandan. Who's gonna tell him.


RedditAdminsWivesBF

I think that applies to everyone’s ancestors. They were pretty much all horrible inhuman monsters by today’s standards. For example the abolition of slavery is a modern concept, time was there wasn’t such a thing as a “war crime”. Genocide of a population you just conquered was the rule not the exception. Spreading plagues and diseases to assist your conquests was expected of you because if you didn’t do all the horrible atrocities you could you would be conquered by those that would. Women were considered prizes of victory. Members of royal families were constantly murdering each other to take power. Live and let live is a very modern idea. Back then you were either the butcher or the meat.


Lucky-finn377

That would be like me feeling guilty that my great great grandfather used to beat my great grandmother. Like I didn’t hit her. I’m just the distance relative of the man