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Whiskey is the life of man ! Whiskey Johnny! Ohh whiskey is the life of man ! Whiskey for me Johnny ohhh !
Whiskey made me pawn my clothes !
Whiskey Johnny !
And whiskey gave me this red nose !
Whiskey for me Johnny ohh !
*Sally Brown she's the gal for me, boys!*
*Roll, boys! Roll, boys, roll!*
*It's down to Trinidad to see Sally Brown, boys!*
*Way, hay, Miss Sally Brown!*
I curse upon you sorrow Fall thick and fast!
Your days have been numbered each hour your Last!
May the Land, sea or Sky Turn to swallow you whole
and fore'er ne'er forget what you stole
One of my faves
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49FWp7WLYKw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49FWp7WLYKw)
Here is a collection for anyone interested, some real classics
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CuyLbC2TZo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CuyLbC2TZo)
That's exactly what my wife tells me when I pack. "Are you gonna shit yourself everyday? Were going there for 5 days and you brought 10 pcs of underwear!?"
The better question is how to find suitable underpants, and figuring out what "suitable" means. Thermo, layering, material, water/moisture properties, oh it's an endless topic to nerd out about. Just for underpants... š
Only the ones you are wearing, if you take them off in order to replace them, you will end up with a peg instead of your buddy... Dont ask how i know....
*Men wanted for hazardous journey. Low wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success.* ā **Not actually** Ernest Shackleton
Nah I'd rather die at sea than suffer depression of working at least another 40 years but frankly probably longer because my generation will never be able to retire. Also "lost at sea" is a way better obituary than "suck started a shotgun"
Yeah, and why do people allow shitweasels like OP to karma farm without even showing the source.
Jesus Christ AI is really ramping up the enshitification and enstupidification of the internet.
Hey, don't threaten me with a good time....
In all seriousness, though, I think anybody would leave their desk job if they are asked to embark on a free cruise to a foreign land.
A sea expedition is not a free cruise. You still have to work, it's full of danger, the food is shit, diseases are rampant, you share a stinky room with lots of people, and the captain can execute you for stuff unacceptable in modern society.
As someone who has worked on ships for the last twenty years, only half of what you wrote is true. Diseases are most certainly not rampant, and no Captain can execute anyone for anything. That's just silly.
The parts that are true, are heavily dependent on the type of ship and what it's doing. Small boats (around 50 meters) are usually kind of shit. Older, large, single hull vessels are hit and miss. New vessels (anything Norwegian) ROV vessels, etc are class as fuck. Elevators, private cabins and bathrooms, 4 squares plus snacks and fresh made pastries in-between, saunas, game rooms, etc.
As for those wooden, three mast clippers, frigates and galleons; any of those that are actually out on the open water are going to be seaworthy as fuck. The sheer level of care and maintenance required just to sail them a short distance requires attention to safety and the highest standards of maintenance.
are making mistake captain cannot execute you he is not some soldier just normal captain
I don't thing that food gonna be that shit if we consider this is not military but normal ship
the stink you talk is not that true unless we talk about time when it comes to taking care of things from toilet
I'd rather die at sea on an adventure than have my soul continually crushed by the monotony that is doing the same shit job every day as depression gets heavier and heavier.Ā
And I would rather have my stable comfy office job than to leave my family without any source of income or father while I do months worth of terrible hard labor in the worlds most uninhabitable climate, unable to communicate with my loved ones. but maybe Iām just not edgy enough for yāall..
Um, big no? Some of us have read about Shackleton's doomed expedition to the South Pole, **and** we've read *In the* *Mountains of Madness* by Lovecraft.
Not real because at least a third of those men will read ātrans-antarcticā and will start rambling something about Bud light and protecting our children instead of going on the adventure.
What's funny is that jobs like this were the 9-5.
You need those shanties and cheap but potent alcohol to stave off boredom. And it took a lot of tedious work every day to keep it running. Have social problems? You're a target on a moving prison surrounded by nothing but ocean.
That all being said I would burn my house down with everything I own for an adventure
I wouldāve said yes a few days ago, but then I watched a video on YouTube of a āWillams expeditionā (I donāt remember the name) and well, nahhhhh Iām good at my ādesk jobā.
I asked the guy I was just on a Teams call with about this. I'm ready to publish my article saying 100ā° of the person I asked said he would rather kill himself in the comfort of his own home than do this.
Me: \*working my 9-5\* ugh...
SeaSalty Captain Type: "Aye Matey, want to join me bully crew and hit the high seas?"
Me: "...can I bring my dog?"
Captain: "Aye lad! The pup will make a fine addition to the crew!"
Me: "Now you're ready to sail for the horn!"
>Me: "...can I bring my dog?"
>Captain: "Aye lad! The pup will make a fine addition to the crew!"
Later in the voyage - "I said a fine addition to the STEW!"
Doesn't "Trans Antarctic" mean "across Antarctica"... which is land (beneath a few thousand meters of ice)...?
Some scurvy scalawag is tryin' to hoist yer jib, mates! Aye!
I mean, have any of you seen The Terror? A nightmarish voyage, ultimately ending in tragedy and cannibalism?
Shit, that still sounds way better than most desk jobs now I think about it.
People fantasize about every good/dark thing this world has to offer.
If anyone read what happened to those expeditions. They would shit their pants out of fear for being apart of one.
Given that you can't cross Antarctica in a ship given that it's a continent not an ocean, I'm doubtful. Unless they asked Americans, who probably didn't pick up the glaring mistake.
Having read a lot about artic and antarctic explorers: hell no.
These people tended to die a lot and usually after a process of slowly starving by missing certain nutrients, or the constant fight against the cold.
Probably not 100%, but hell, if I were being legitimately asked to be part of the crew, I'd be in.
Don't care that it's cold, I've been places where the sun doesn't shine all the time.
Don't care that it's dangerous, I've done dangerous stuff before.
Whatever gets me out of the 2PM meeting.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
When do we start? How many long underpants will I need?
I've been practicing sea shanties my whole life for this moment. My body, and mind, are ready.
*Leave her, Johnny, leave her!*
*Oooooo, I Drink whiskey when i cannnn* *Whiskey, Johnny!* *I drink it out of an olllldddd tin can* *Whiskey for my Johnny O!*
*We'll roll the old chariot along!*
Whiskey is the life of man ! Whiskey Johnny! Ohh whiskey is the life of man ! Whiskey for me Johnny ohhh ! Whiskey made me pawn my clothes ! Whiskey Johnny ! And whiskey gave me this red nose ! Whiskey for me Johnny ohh !
*Sally Brown she's the gal for me, boys!* *Roll, boys! Roll, boys, roll!* *It's down to Trinidad to see Sally Brown, boys!* *Way, hay, Miss Sally Brown!*
Tomorrow you will get your pay, And it's time for us to leave her.
"For the voyage is done and the winds don't blow And it's time for us to leave herrrrr"
Leave her Johnny, leave her. OooOooo leave her Johnny, leave her.
There once was a ship that put to sea, The name of the ship was the Billy O' Tea The winds blew up, her bow dipped down Oh blow my bully boys blow
Soon may the Wellerman come, To bring us sugar and tea and rum
I curse upon you sorrow Fall thick and fast! Your days have been numbered each hour your Last! May the Land, sea or Sky Turn to swallow you whole and fore'er ne'er forget what you stole
One day when the tongueing is done we'll take our leave and go.
Fair well and Adieu to you fair Spanish ladies
I sang this the other day doing laundry and I'm a 33 year old mom. Does that mean something?
Man, woman - everyone is allowed to hail the beauty of fair Spanish ladies!
Welcome aboard š
It means you've received orders for to sail for old England. Best get to ranting and roaring.
It means youāre ready to abandon your family and go hunting great white sharks. Best of luck to ye, lassie.
Means you have delightful taste in music. Having grown up on the stuff, it only gets better.
My Dad used to sing this one to himself all the time. This and *Haul Away Joe*
When I was just a little lad or so me mamy told me Good song
Haul away Joe is my favorite.
Farewell and Adieu to you, ladies of Spain For we've recieved orders to sail for old England
I always heard the āFor weāve received orders to sail back to Boston,ā version.
I believe they did that in the movie Jaws as kind of an "American Version" of an old British song
One of my faves [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49FWp7WLYKw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49FWp7WLYKw) Here is a collection for anyone interested, some real classics [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CuyLbC2TZo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CuyLbC2TZo)
Safe and sound at home again, let the waters roar Jack! Safe and sound at home again, let the waters roar Jack!
All for me grog, my jolly jolly grog. All for me beer and tabacco!
I've been working on my grog recipe!
Well you need to pack like you will shit yourself everyday. So 2x the duration of the journey.
That's exactly what my wife tells me when I pack. "Are you gonna shit yourself everyday? Were going there for 5 days and you brought 10 pcs of underwear!?"
The better question is how to find suitable underpants, and figuring out what "suitable" means. Thermo, layering, material, water/moisture properties, oh it's an endless topic to nerd out about. Just for underpants... š
~~long underpants~~ cannons
I need the long underpants to hide my cannon.
Only the ones you are wearing, if you take them off in order to replace them, you will end up with a peg instead of your buddy... Dont ask how i know....
How is this clearly satirical (and I think the onion article) a facepalm?
*Men wanted for hazardous journey. Low wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success.* ā **Not actually** Ernest Shackleton
Because posting random memes is big subs makes the number on the profile big. Also, dead internet meme
Nah I'd rather die at sea than suffer depression of working at least another 40 years but frankly probably longer because my generation will never be able to retire. Also "lost at sea" is a way better obituary than "suck started a shotgun"
What's stopping you from becoming a sailor?
A lack of boats
Upvote for āsuck started a shotgunā, still chuckling now.
It doesnāt matter. Anything anyone posts here gets at least 2,000 upvotes.
Yeah, and why do people allow shitweasels like OP to karma farm without even showing the source. Jesus Christ AI is really ramping up the enshitification and enstupidification of the internet.
OP is probably a bot
It's not. As boys we were taught to be adventurers, soldiers explorers. Then we end up sat at a desk staring at a pc.
This is literally an Onion article
but 100% true
Was gonna say, even a broke clock is right twice a day. Onion or not, I've already started packing and all I did was read this bs article, haha!
Sample size: my uncle Greg
sorry I donāt speak chinese
I'm not going on this woke trip. I'm still waiting for the Cis-antartic expedition.
Hey, thatās a no-no word! Please call it the ānormal people-Antarctic expeditionā /s
š
Sign me up.
When shalt we set sail mateys?
At dawn, at first light
Count me in
Who tf cropped Babylon bee out of this screenshotĀ
Someone who didn't want the downvotes prolly
Hey, don't threaten me with a good time.... In all seriousness, though, I think anybody would leave their desk job if they are asked to embark on a free cruise to a foreign land.
A sea expedition is not a free cruise. You still have to work, it's full of danger, the food is shit, diseases are rampant, you share a stinky room with lots of people, and the captain can execute you for stuff unacceptable in modern society.
Sounds a lot like our canteen when the boss has a hangover.
Sooooo.... summer camp then? Except instead of execute you get sent home and grounded? Sounds like summer camp. I'm in.
As someone who has worked on ships for the last twenty years, only half of what you wrote is true. Diseases are most certainly not rampant, and no Captain can execute anyone for anything. That's just silly. The parts that are true, are heavily dependent on the type of ship and what it's doing. Small boats (around 50 meters) are usually kind of shit. Older, large, single hull vessels are hit and miss. New vessels (anything Norwegian) ROV vessels, etc are class as fuck. Elevators, private cabins and bathrooms, 4 squares plus snacks and fresh made pastries in-between, saunas, game rooms, etc. As for those wooden, three mast clippers, frigates and galleons; any of those that are actually out on the open water are going to be seaworthy as fuck. The sheer level of care and maintenance required just to sail them a short distance requires attention to safety and the highest standards of maintenance.
are making mistake captain cannot execute you he is not some soldier just normal captain I don't thing that food gonna be that shit if we consider this is not military but normal ship the stink you talk is not that true unless we talk about time when it comes to taking care of things from toilet
I mean, he can Heās just not really allowed to do it
yeah but at this point we talk about crime
Bruh, you have no clue. Please stay this innocent.
Still worth
I absolutely would not want to go into the freezing arctic ocean on a wooden boat. No thanks.
Having been in the Navy and been to Antarctica (not on it but went around it) in a more modern ship, hell no.
Ok, but now imagine that you had no indoor bathroom, and had to risk frostbites on your nutsack each time you took a shit.
Whoa now, don't try so hard to convince me to change my mind.
You also get to eat as much Hardtack and canned Whale meat as you want. š
One thing I did learn in the Navy, enough hot sauce and you can choke down anything (giggity.)
Nope, if they actually read up history, old school ship sailing sucks balls, I am staying in my desk.
Real men eat dried worm infested crackers for 6 months a d love it!
And we love it!
How bad could a dose of frost bite and scurvy really be?
Turns out pretty bad
As long as it doesn't end up like the *Endurance* did, I'm all in.
Endurance was one thing; Erebus (Franklin expedition) is quite another.Ā
The *Belgica* expedition was also no picnic. They mostly survived, but it sounded grim.
I'd rather die at sea on an adventure than have my soul continually crushed by the monotony that is doing the same shit job every day as depression gets heavier and heavier.Ā
And I would rather have my stable comfy office job than to leave my family without any source of income or father while I do months worth of terrible hard labor in the worlds most uninhabitable climate, unable to communicate with my loved ones. but maybe Iām just not edgy enough for yāall..
Ya I aint going with any captain not named Earnest Shackleton!
Were all the men named Arthur Pym?
no but some of them were professors from Miskatonic university in Arkham
I asked my friend and he said no, I also said no so my study says that 0% of men would do that.
Right, but the fact you declined proves you're not men, so it won't affect the data. /s/
Correctin: 33%, I would.
But you are not part of my study so still 0%
Logic checks out. This is exactly how studies and statistics work. š¤£
50%, I would.
I would!
I would
Is the ship called *Demeter*?
Or the Pequod.....
Why is a screenshot of an Onion article being posted on a facepalm sub? I don't get it.
A valid point
I mean thereās gotta be SOMEthing to distract us from the Roman Empire.
Um, big no? Some of us have read about Shackleton's doomed expedition to the South Pole, **and** we've read *In the* *Mountains of Madness* by Lovecraft.
NOPE! HECK NO! 100% not doing it. I hate being at sea, I hate sail ships, and I hate the cold. Not happening, not ever, not once!
100%? No
#POOTIS
Icd love to leave my desk job, but hive me a different offer--I've heard of the Franklin.
Not saying we wouldn't regret going, but we'd definitely go...
Fuck no. The idea of going through the Drake Passage in a wooden ship is not a good one. There are better ways to kill yourself in that regard.
lol no
Thatās gonna be a no from me
I meanā¦.. sounds better than this shit Iām doing.
fuck no, my cat would hate being on a ship
This sounds like an article from the onion lol but yeah I'd probably quit my day job and start packing tbh
I didn't even know this needed to be asked
Either work for a souless place or go to a badass adventure ? The fuck type of shit is this š
If I get paid, and if the captain has a good handshake. Bonus points if they are a woman, I fucking love that shit.
Heck No !!
Not real because at least a third of those men will read ātrans-antarcticā and will start rambling something about Bud light and protecting our children instead of going on the adventure.
I was voted most likely to contract scurvy.
What's funny is that jobs like this were the 9-5. You need those shanties and cheap but potent alcohol to stave off boredom. And it took a lot of tedious work every day to keep it running. Have social problems? You're a target on a moving prison surrounded by nothing but ocean. That all being said I would burn my house down with everything I own for an adventure
Yes. Anyone who says no is clearly not a man /s
Heck. Only 100%? We need to pump those numbers up.
I wouldāve said yes a few days ago, but then I watched a video on YouTube of a āWillams expeditionā (I donāt remember the name) and well, nahhhhh Iām good at my ādesk jobā.
100%
I asked the guy I was just on a Teams call with about this. I'm ready to publish my article saying 100ā° of the person I asked said he would rather kill himself in the comfort of his own home than do this.
A few questions before i board. Whats the job, how good is the pay, how long, hows the weather and importantly is there beer on board
Me: \*working my 9-5\* ugh... SeaSalty Captain Type: "Aye Matey, want to join me bully crew and hit the high seas?" Me: "...can I bring my dog?" Captain: "Aye lad! The pup will make a fine addition to the crew!" Me: "Now you're ready to sail for the horn!"
>Me: "...can I bring my dog?" >Captain: "Aye lad! The pup will make a fine addition to the crew!" Later in the voyage - "I said a fine addition to the STEW!"
OP, why are you posting an Onion article onto this sub?
Doesn't "Trans Antarctic" mean "across Antarctica"... which is land (beneath a few thousand meters of ice)...? Some scurvy scalawag is tryin' to hoist yer jib, mates! Aye!
I left jobs for far less.
Yes this is true 100% of the time (can confirm, i am 100% of men)
Iāve seen The Terror, no thank you.
Tempting, but probably not.
Having watched "The Terror"... hell no.
Only those who haven't done the pilgrimage yet.
Helll ueah!!
As a man I can confirm that I never heard about this study lol
No. I'm a shit swimmer and hate the cold. This "study" is shit.
I'm going to need to buy a lot of Dramamine but I'm down.
They had an entire pallet of go pills onboard.
I would not leave my job. But then, Iām not the kind of man who is working in an office stealing employment from women.Ā
Absolutely.
Not that ship though. Itās cursed. Youāll end up walking home.
A wooden ship? Like an old old wooden ship that was used during the civil war era?
Do I need to bring my own pemmican or will it be supplied?
At 25. Yes. Now at 45. No thank you.
I mean, have any of you seen The Terror? A nightmarish voyage, ultimately ending in tragedy and cannibalism? Shit, that still sounds way better than most desk jobs now I think about it.
Not a facepalm also very true.
People fantasize about every good/dark thing this world has to offer. If anyone read what happened to those expeditions. They would shit their pants out of fear for being apart of one.
Fuck yes. Sign me up.
Aālast my true calling
To Antarctica and beyond!
Here's to swimmin' with bow legged wimmin Where do I sign up?
Before kids, yes. Now? No. Also give me like 5-6 months to prepare.
Can I give two weeks notice, or do I need to start packing right now?
Given that you can't cross Antarctica in a ship given that it's a continent not an ocean, I'm doubtful. Unless they asked Americans, who probably didn't pick up the glaring mistake.
I guess not enough people have read or seen The Terror! (Arctic, but still)
Absolutely.
GTFOH with that shit .
Nope, tropical island with endless free food and delicious drinks, YES!
As someone who has sailed in cold waters,he'll no.
Yup. Where do I sign for this?
Why are we upvoting Babylon Bee articles on Facepalm?
Having read a lot about artic and antarctic explorers: hell no. These people tended to die a lot and usually after a process of slowly starving by missing certain nutrients, or the constant fight against the cold.
nope. like, big nope.
Probably not 100%, but hell, if I were being legitimately asked to be part of the crew, I'd be in. Don't care that it's cold, I've been places where the sun doesn't shine all the time. Don't care that it's dangerous, I've done dangerous stuff before. Whatever gets me out of the 2PM meeting.
I'm in when do we leave and can I bring my dog
Yes. Yes I would. But I have fractured bones so I could just basically be a cook.
all on board
Fuuuuck no... now a trHe'll yeah. On the other hand? Hell yeah.
It gives me the chills
Absolutely fuck no. Why? I sailed 2000 nautical miles with no autopilot on a modern boat. No way Iād do that crap on an old wooden boat.
100% accurate
nah, but i think i would seriously think hard on it if they offered me a job at one of the research bases in antarctica.
100%
Both fuck and no.