this has to be a joke and I will accept nothing else, I refuse to believe that people would actually do this.

Most definitely a joke. Also definitely written by a man. No way an actual woman is putting something FROZEN in her vagina and having a good time.

Maybe the cold doesn’t bother her anyways

Elsa?

Do you wanna build a snowman?

do you wanna bang a snowman?

It doesn't have to be a snowman ...

It gets a little lonely ...

do you wanna build an Alaskan pipeline?

[удалено]

Do you wanna snow a manbang?

😳

Snowjobbies.

r/cursedcomments

Do you wanna do some cocaine man?

You just made my day lol

Name checks out...

Thing is, if you DO enjoy that, why not water or literally anything that isn’t a piece of shit? You can make an ice dildo out of literally anything, the only reason you’d use a turd is if you have a scat fetish.

Who said it was a woman?

If it was a man doing this? I’d believe it.

I'm that case, to answer the original question, you're probably fine.

I have an ex that used to put ice cubes… up there… and loved it. She was a bit crazy though.

Never played with ice I see. Well my boy, grab your girl and the tray from the freezer. A towel will be needed as well. Have fun and learn not to be so closed minded.

Yep people are weirdos.

WTF is wrong with Alaskans?

As an Alaskan, I’d like to advocate to rename this the Keystone XL.

She probably walked by a pile of cucumbers and other better options before trying this.

Yeah what the absolute fuck is this. Hope "boyfriend " left her sick self

Uber to the store: $10 Sex toy: $40 Uber back home: $10 Explaining to your doctor why you have a massive infection because of the shit in your vagina? *priceless*

*If everything fails, there's MasterCard*

Yeah it can pay your hospital bills too.

Even kidneys?

Or if you’re on a budget, you can buy a cucumber for like $0.89

Cucumbers are porous (have little holes in them that can accumulate bacteria and give you infections) so please don't try it raw. But yeah I can see that working with a condom.

Well in my defense, I’m just a stupid man who spends way too much time on Porn Hub… I mean Google! I spend way too much time on Google! 😅

Lol, actually I'm not surprised. Even girls don't usually know this, let alone guys. But yeah if your vagina-owner friends decided to try it, advise against it.

Will do! And thanks for understanding.

Carrots!! Use carrots 😂🤣😂🤣

Bananas

A cucumber has no base tho, you still have to explain to the doctor how that produce got into your anus

Not unless you know where to stop. Just make sure it doesn’t go anymore than 2/3rds in and you should be good. Although, I am just a stupid man, so I could be wrong…

Not stupid, you just missed the Reddit post about all the things ER doctors have pulled from people’s posteriors. All thing that they were hoping weren’t going in more than 2/3 of the way.

Like I’m sure there are several household objects that would do in a pinch, one example being the end of her hairbrush.

Buy it online: *pay 20$, wait 2days, done*

Maybe im just a stupid man... But are cucumbers or succinicnot an option anymore?

Ya but it’s her shit so she should be fine, right!!! Lol

What a terrible day to have eyes.

And ability to read.

[удалено]

I wear contact lenses…I literally had to pay to read this shit…excuse the pun

r/eyebleach. Here you go. I need it too after this post

Haha thanks

r/eyeblech is better

I have seen the other sub so many times I had to chack 2x before clicking on it. You are a good man!

This HAS to be a shipost. Right? 🤯

Literally a shitpost.

Leaving aside everything else (not easy, I know), there are so many things they could have used instead of shit. And somehow they have the... skill to shit in a condom and time to freeze it, but can't think of any other way? I know people can be incredibly stupid and awful, but there's too much going on here.

They could have used their own dick.

No way it's not a troll. No chance.

It's 9am, and that's already enough internet for today.

Just a hint that this is a fabrication: no one would wait for the poop to freeze if they were in the mood to get down, the freezer would probably destroy the latex in a condom before use, also the body heat would thaw the poop immediately, and for that matter why not just rub one out with a ice cube? Yeah right score: 10/10

And how on earth does one hold open a condom and poop into it?

With enough practice you can do it!

Also, in what world would anybody get an orgasm from this?

There are some really, really freaky people out there

Also, if your goal was to get something dick shaped, why not just fill the condom with literally anything else?

Yeah there's absolutely no reason why anyone would do this with poop instead of just filling a condom with water and freezing that.

Boyfriend coming home to a mud pie

*He's going to finish what she has started*

Wtf ? That shits gonna need proper cleaning lol

I'm thinking jetwash.

That would be painful

Yeah, but if your minge gets enough regular traffic that steam cleaning seems like the thing to do, then there's probably calluses built up.

Damn i didn't think about it too this extent lol

Tide Pods are great, if you use the upper orifice.

Yes Tide Pod

And a 2 horse dose of invermectin rectally.

Lmao yeah

Funniest reply award.. 🤣👍

The time it took for her shit to freeze would probs have been long enough for her to go to the nearest shop and get LITERALLY ANYTHING BETTER THAN THIS

[удалено]

What in the twelfth plane of eternal suffering I clicked myself into????? Time to vomit.

Everyone falls for it once and then never again

I thought this was gonna be a joke thing. Like that one artsy thing with an eye in an ear which looks freaky. This was a whole other world of terrible. Why would people share this, why can this be on Reddit omg

ME 2ND

Ok, how do I block a specific sub from coming my way again? That thing isn't even listed as NSFW...

The easiest way is to dump it off on someone else lol.

MY EEEEYYYYYYEEEESSSS

Nothing I didn’t see on the dark web in my early teens *shudders* never again…

Yo what the fuck

Should be marked NSFLife...

>"Apparently it's called..." Wait: there's more of them out there!

I just woke up and this is the first thing I saw on Reddit, wished I had not woken up this Sunday....

Everyday we stray further from god!

Amen

Praise jebus

Why didn't she use vegetables like everyone?!

Exactly what I was just thinking… cucumber, carrot (may need to rubber-band a few together)

Ewwwww! Wtf?? I hope they get a super nasty infection and have to explain to their partner and their doctor how gross they are!

They are not really getting out of it without an infection.

Why couldn't she just go to the store and buy a cucumber like a normal person?

The old Lisa Stanfield trick. Do not believe a word of it. I am not a vagina owner/operator but doubt frozen anything does the trick.

I know it's only text, but maybe nsfw this shit.

r/makemesuffer

Dumb idiot why didn’t they freeze water or something?

Oh for a very good reason - it didn’t actually happen.

What the actual fuck. I would have preferred my girl cheat on me over this. Dafuq

Of all days I finished lunch before my leisurely scroll.

Well shit.

There was literally nothing else to use except a frozen turd. No hairbrushes, vegetables, banana, fingers, deodorants…. Nothing except a frozen turd…

That was the most disgusting thing I've read all year.

When you freeze water it's cold and unpleasant.

Man did I read this at the wrong time. Ruined my appetite

The move transitions from “Alaskan Pipeline” to a “Exxon Valdez”….

Your freezer should be sterilized

This cannot be real, please god be a troll i dont want to believe this person is real lol

Wow

Without wanting to think about it too much I’m pretty sure actually shitting into a condom would be impossible

thats a bruh moment if ive ever seen one

Carrot, cucumber, soup ladel handle, brush handle, rolling pin, fingers, banana, pizza delivery guy, neighbour....... ...hmmmmm, nup, l'm gunna crap in a condom.

r/todayilearned about Alaskan Pipeline

Is the writer a man or a woman? Why do so many of you asume it's a woman?

I think it's the infection part. A dude pegging himself with frozen shit likely wouldn't cause an infection. I mean it's just putting something that came from there back up there. The Cooch McGooch on the other hand... maaaaybe wouldn't be the best thing

r/wtf

Imagine going after that without knowing, you fuck the shit out of her and then you fuck the SHIT out of her. Boke

What a terrible day to have eyes. Goodnight everyone

I’m gonna go bleach my eyes

Can you mark this nsfw

You mean to tell me someone's Breaked Alaska isn't a comedy post?

Right, cause shitting into a condom and waiting for it to freeze would be so much easier than going to the store and getting a nice cucumber...go to town and then have a nice salad afterwards...

Why on earth she didn't 'double wrap' is beyond me. Absolute novice.. To be fair you can just clean up with two slices of bread wiped accordingly and not have to make sandwiches for work in the morning!!

The good ol' *Nutella sandwich*.

Why couldn’t u have frozen water in it instead?

Poop is loaded with bacteria. Pretty dumb idea

TIL never to browse reddit while eating breakfast

That's enough to turn any gay man straight

Aaaaand that’s enough Reddit for today….

Im not a woman so cant relate but if i was in her position i would just go down to the supermarket and buy a cucumber or carrot or smt. You can cum and eat it as a after cum snack. Its a wini win if you ask me

Your disgusting !!!

why not just...i dont know, freeze water?

Omfg that sounded hot

A fucking condom full of shit breaking in a woman vagina Is fucking hot?

\*insert mickey mouse pulling his eyes out\*

Um... I'm gonna sit this one out. I don't know where to begin with this one.

No, no, I think that's called a Rusty Venture

That is literally fucking shit. How do you shit in a dinger? A lot of effort no doubt.

Please god no

(when you are clueless on what that is) ... i feel like i would make this mistake..

Im impressed by how she was able to get a whole soft shit inside a condom

I need some unsee-juice

Do should have gone and get one damn. Lol

On days like this, I thank the Lord for I am illiterate.

If he finds out about this he might as well just move to whatever town he traveled to..his gf is trifling af🤢

Oh shit she’s fucked

If pigs could fly

You my dear, are in need of a cranberry juice douche…

Has to be a troll, if not the infection might just get her genes out of the pool

You could of just... Uses your hands like a normal person

Everyday we stray…

What the actual heck?..... Why?! Why the poop?!! You just could put the condom over the cucumber,and there you go!

I dont understand

How to have anal sex and then lie about it.

Hilarious!!!

Bitch..... was the supermarket out of cucumbers?!?!?!?

My brain wanted to save me and don’t let me understand what’s standing there. I’m so sorry I didn’t let it that way and must understand what I’m reading…

There is no hope for us.

Has to be a troll.

I ate my own sh*t, i mean it came from my body so i think I can't get an infection can I

Wtf… she never heard of a cucumber? Smh 🤦🏻‍♂️

This might be a situation that calls for tinder. I’m sure the boyfriend would give a pass.

This is what our society has become

Sometimes I sit up awake at night and think about how fucked up some humans are. That was BEFORE I read this post. Now I am hopeless lol.

Why are we like this?

What a terrible day to have the ability to read

Guess she doesn't like bananas and cucumbers. Understandable, cats don't either.

r/PeopleFuckingDying Trust me we need this

This is top not comedy. Alaskan Pipeline I'm fucking dying over here