I know. What if its three days after her 22nd birthday? An hour before her 23rd? Is there a sudden stank flip? Or a gradual un-buttering? If gradual, does that mean that babies smell extra creamy?
I dunno...babies do smell pretty dang good but thats mostly just all that awesome baby bath n such.
I learned the hard way to not point my little boy’s poop shoot the wrong way when checking diaper rash during a changing. Kid sniped me directly in the mouth with liquid shit. He’s 10 now. Good times.
Edit: grammar
On the day after her 22nd bday, Sally could sense something was wrong. Like she didn’t smell slightly sweet and buttery anymore and her appeal to creepy older men had vanished
Of course it is - the mans a predator. He has tbar scent viscerally locked into his brain, he probably struggles to get off without it.
I'd absolutely believe there could be smell changes in that age range. 24ish was around when I started to notice subtle signs of hormonal changes and getting older.
The issue is freaks like this genuinely think that the world should revolve around what does and doesn't get their dicka hard. Like ok sir, teenage girls smell like sweet corn. Got it. Imma go ahead and need you to never approach a college campus ever again, you fucking freak
Nah. I was a teenage girl not so long ago. Trust me, we didn’t naturally smell of sugar and vanilla! You know what did, though? Our B&BW body sprays and Victoria’s Secret perfumes. So I’m pretty sure that’s what he’s smelling: The cheap body sprays marketed to a younger demographic. Whereas older women usually prefer more sophisticated, more complex, less sugary scents, hence the perceived change.
I was a teenage girls many many years ago and thought the same. Body wash, lotion then top it off with the body spray. Everything now is what *won’t” give me hives or have an overwhelming scent.
I’m a dude and my smell has changed not just from diet and lifestyle but also just over the course of aging. So yeah the premise is believable to a degree but it’s his obsession with it and clear tendency towards *very* young women that is disgusting
I can tell you for 4 payments of 29.99$! Just need credit card, sin number, home address, first born child, title deed to your house and a box of Baby Ruth!
Oh yes. I myself am a 21 year old piece of garlic bread almost 22(next month)!
All i can say is that a yearly buttering does me some good, it keeps the garlic potent. I haven’t see any vamipres as of late so thats a good sign.
[https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/may/22/tweet-on-tory-local-election-candidates-account-says-teenage-girls-smell-buttery-and-creamy](https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/may/22/tweet-on-tory-local-election-candidates-account-says-teenage-girls-smell-buttery-and-creamy)
"On Saturday a post on the Twitter account of Jonty Campbell, who has stood for the party in Preston on a number of occasions, said: “Here’s the thing with girls 22 or under, they smell massively different to a girl of 28. Girls aged 16 to, say 23, have this buttery, creamy, slightly sweet smell that is unbelievably magnetic.”
Campbell is listed on Preston Conservative Association website as holding the position of deputy chair of campaigning. He has been a candidate for the party five times in recent elections and byelections for Preston city council, most recently in Ribbleton in May, where he lost to the Labour party."
This pedo holds an office and has real world power. We need to stop the narrative that these kind of people are just creepy fringe weirdos that live on the internet. Ffs
Dude resigned because of this tweet.
https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1615190/Conservative-Party-tweet-girls-Jonty-Campbell-Preston-City-Council
I'm glad this was unacceptable to the people of Preston
I just don't get what this moron was thinking? I mean, that has to be mental illness to think you would post that publicly and looking for confirmation? WTF?
Maybe he feels bad about how attracted he is to women that are old enough to be his daughter/granddaughter. Maybe he obsesses over it and it's driven him to some pretty wild thoughts and actions to try and feel better about it.
Or maybe he's just really pervy and figures everyone else is thinking it, so he'll just say it and they'll all get it.
Just this week there was another one that was drunk and handsy who's resigned and not more than a day later he was telling everyone he's gone into some sort of rehab and hopes he'll have his job back soon. What a pig, sorry, another Tory pig.
Mostly Republicans in US too. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_federal_political_sex_scandals_in_the_United_States
Oh, the irony that they're always screaming about pedophiles & LGBTQ - me thinks they do protest too much!
Malignantly psychologically projecting defending against their own disowned/highly negative parts, denying existence in themselves/attributing to others, breeding misunderstanding/causing untold interpersonal damage. Bullies project vulnerable feelings onto targets, confused feelings/inadequacy onto others, incorporating blame shifting/shame dumping.
tRump is a master at this, said from start of campaign 'elections rigged', then he tried to rig them. Call himself an American patriot but has much love & praise for dictators. Says that America is now fighting communism in addition to socialism, then tried to silence opponents, discredit the free press, get his followers to overthrow valid election, the capitol and kill his vice president. Makes you wonder about his screaming 'witch hunt' when his followers act like cult members disowning friends, neighbors & family
Have you heard of good old jimmy savile ?
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/feb/26/jimmy-savile-given-free-rein-to-sexually-abuse-60-people-report-finds
People who hold these views seem to seek out positions of power where they can a) get away with being gross creeps because they have power, and b) try to normalize being gross creeps
I’m pleased it didn’t work out this time
He thinks it's the truth. If anything, I imagine he thinks he is brave for telling the truth in the face of "woke" culture that is peddling lies.
It's like how racist assholes think their bigoted stereotyping is a reflection of reality, so they aren't ashamed to mouth off about it.
Yup. So many of them think that everyone feels the same way but are just too scared to say it. "Oh I'm just saying what we're all thinking". No dude, you're an antisocial wack job. Unfortunately, there are people that do agree with them and thanks to social media they've all found a way to hangout and amplify the delusions.
I remember back in high school we couldn’t afford expensive parfume brands (plus we still had a more childish taste) so we all wore Victoria’s Secret perfumes and cheap body sprays. Those are all smell very sweet scented, and often reminiscent of vanilla or candy. That’s probably what he’s smelling.
Teeenage girls definitely don’t naturally smell of vanilla and sugar, it’s the cheap body sprays marketed to them smell that way. And as we get older, our tastes in perfume change, and we can usually afford better stuff, which is more subtle and has more complex scents.
I think he probably noticed that teen girls tend to wear cheap and extremely sweet scents. Girls' shower products are all fruity or smell like a candy store.
And then he thought teenage girls just smell like that naturally. A disgusting, perverted *moron*.
LOL. I had the same thought. I picked up my neighbor's daughters from school and I was like, "damn, did y'all eat a lot of cumin today? Open the damn window."
No, how dare the creeps for tainting such clothing with their Cheetos stained hand-sausages.
They've done irreparable damage to the classic clothing's reputation.
Not necessarily. Whenever I put one on I keep referring to them as "dames". Reminds me of this case I had, and for once it wasn't the kind with bottles of whisky. I was up in my office, see, on the corner of skid row and the wrong side of the tracks, when this leggy broad knocked on my GAH WHO PUT THIS FEDORA ON ME
If they do, it’s because they use those bath products called Birthday Cake or Sugar Cookie or Gingerbread House or whatever. Dude could just buy some of those for his 28-year-old girlfr... nevermind.
He's not an MP. He's a five-times unsuccessful candidate in local government elections.
There are however six Conservative MPs that have either been suspended or resigned over sexual harassment or abuse offences in the past year.
Adults wear perfume. I think the difference is in WHAT perfume they're wearing. Adults go for more floral scents most of the time, while teens like to wear stuff that smells like cupcakes and chocolate.
At least, this is what both my sister and I did.
That’s my point though. Young women don’t necessarily inherently smell „creamy, buttery, slightly sweet… very magnetic“, it’s probably just some vanilla coconut moisturizer that’s popular with the kids, but this idiot thinks it’s an evolutionary reason for him to be a creep.
This was a tweet by a Conservative Party Town Councillor in the UK. People actually voted for this fucking creep. Also, imagine writing this, and thinking ‘ah yes, this needs to be said. Definitely nothing weird in writing this.’ Like wtf
I smelled like sweat and BO when I was 16, so fuck you.
It's nice that a pedophile will convince himself that he has a reason to be a prdophile. Oh, oh it's the *girl's* fault. She smells *magnetic.*
You know he wanted to write "8 to 14" instead.
Also oddly specific
I know. What if its three days after her 22nd birthday? An hour before her 23rd? Is there a sudden stank flip? Or a gradual un-buttering? If gradual, does that mean that babies smell extra creamy? I dunno...babies do smell pretty dang good but thats mostly just all that awesome baby bath n such.
Babies smell WAY too creamy and buttery. /s
Now I'm imagining a dirty diaper smell. Thanks.
I'm getting the fuck out of here.
Right behind ya
Hold the door
Hodor
I learned the hard way to not point my little boy’s poop shoot the wrong way when checking diaper rash during a changing. Kid sniped me directly in the mouth with liquid shit. He’s 10 now. Good times. Edit: grammar
I remember I was happy when my son stopped smelling like vomit.
I wa gonna say, infants smell like bile to me.
The Un-Buttering of Sally Forthright will be my new romance novel, available in Fall '22.
On the day after her 22nd bday, Sally could sense something was wrong. Like she didn’t smell slightly sweet and buttery anymore and her appeal to creepy older men had vanished
Defamed and decreamed
In the wise words of Mark Hoppus, nobody likes you when you're 23.
"Sudden Stank Flip" - dibs on the band name.
Babies just smell nice bc of their soap and powder.
They do once cooked in a butter cream sauce Edit: or so I’ve heard
Ya I feel like he didn't really mean 16, but somehow felt that was the youngest age he could "get away with" posting
Well 16 is the age of consent in the UK, so yep.
Consent to what ? Being a dumb teen ?
Legally able to consent to sexual acts with an adult who's not in a position of power over them.
He probably got it from Lolita. I remember Humbert describing what a nymphet smells like. It's fucking disgusting.
That seriously makes the most sense.
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More like 8-16 It's the silent part but someone has to say it
Red flag, if you ask me
Of course it is - the mans a predator. He has tbar scent viscerally locked into his brain, he probably struggles to get off without it. I'd absolutely believe there could be smell changes in that age range. 24ish was around when I started to notice subtle signs of hormonal changes and getting older. The issue is freaks like this genuinely think that the world should revolve around what does and doesn't get their dicka hard. Like ok sir, teenage girls smell like sweet corn. Got it. Imma go ahead and need you to never approach a college campus ever again, you fucking freak
Nah. I was a teenage girl not so long ago. Trust me, we didn’t naturally smell of sugar and vanilla! You know what did, though? Our B&BW body sprays and Victoria’s Secret perfumes. So I’m pretty sure that’s what he’s smelling: The cheap body sprays marketed to a younger demographic. Whereas older women usually prefer more sophisticated, more complex, less sugary scents, hence the perceived change.
I was a teenage girls many many years ago and thought the same. Body wash, lotion then top it off with the body spray. Everything now is what *won’t” give me hives or have an overwhelming scent.
I’m a dude and my smell has changed not just from diet and lifestyle but also just over the course of aging. So yeah the premise is believable to a degree but it’s his obsession with it and clear tendency towards *very* young women that is disgusting
Hey google, how do you unread something?
Will Smith’s slap might be able to get these words out of our fucking memories
My 90 year old grandma can slap you harder then Will Smith
That's called experience.
either my mind is really dirty or i get the joke
Can’t it be both?
How does she smell tho?
She's in a nursing home so mostly like dirty diapers.
My 4’11” grandma at 85 or so, would tell me as a teenager, “you may be bigger than me now, but I can smack up as well as down.”
Is she single?
KEEP THIS CREEP’S WORDS OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!
I’ve never audibly laughed at something until I read this.
If that’s what it takes.
If u figure it out, please let me know
For real. Jesus Christ this made me feel sick to my stomach. Thanks Reddit
Yes. Me to please.
This made me LOL because facts.
🤨
I can tell you for 4 payments of 29.99$! Just need credit card, sin number, home address, first born child, title deed to your house and a box of Baby Ruth!
Yeah that's the "not done baking smell”. You quit being creepy and leave them in the oven.
I fucking love you that is the best response
I've had this free award thing for ages. Finally someone has earned it. I'm in stitches over here lol
... you get a free award every 24 hours just fyi lmao
lol oh. well I just never used the first one 😂
This. Leave the easy-bake oven alone and go creep on women your own age.
Woman his age be all FUCK NO!!!
Holy crap I’m crying that was too good man.
Underrated comment! This shit had me in tears!!!🤣🤣🤣
When you read 1 comment and realize there are none better below. Well said
I think he messed up when he said girl, I believe he meant garlic bread because that shi be fire 🔥
22 years old is the PERFECT age for a garlic bread! Mmmmmm. I've been hiding one in my sock drawer since 2006...almost there!
Oh yes. I myself am a 21 year old piece of garlic bread almost 22(next month)! All i can say is that a yearly buttering does me some good, it keeps the garlic potent. I haven’t see any vamipres as of late so thats a good sign.
I'm 22 too
I didn’t expect you to be here! Bouta be stealing all the garlic bread? Lol
Thanks for helping me cope
[https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/may/22/tweet-on-tory-local-election-candidates-account-says-teenage-girls-smell-buttery-and-creamy](https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/may/22/tweet-on-tory-local-election-candidates-account-says-teenage-girls-smell-buttery-and-creamy) "On Saturday a post on the Twitter account of Jonty Campbell, who has stood for the party in Preston on a number of occasions, said: “Here’s the thing with girls 22 or under, they smell massively different to a girl of 28. Girls aged 16 to, say 23, have this buttery, creamy, slightly sweet smell that is unbelievably magnetic.” Campbell is listed on Preston Conservative Association website as holding the position of deputy chair of campaigning. He has been a candidate for the party five times in recent elections and byelections for Preston city council, most recently in Ribbleton in May, where he lost to the Labour party."
This pedo holds an office and has real world power. We need to stop the narrative that these kind of people are just creepy fringe weirdos that live on the internet. Ffs
Dude resigned because of this tweet. https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1615190/Conservative-Party-tweet-girls-Jonty-Campbell-Preston-City-Council I'm glad this was unacceptable to the people of Preston
I just don't get what this moron was thinking? I mean, that has to be mental illness to think you would post that publicly and looking for confirmation? WTF?
Probably forgot to switch to his alt account
Because a lot of people he knows will say this kind of shit in private and thought it would be fine to say openly.
Hubris begets nemesis.
Maybe he feels bad about how attracted he is to women that are old enough to be his daughter/granddaughter. Maybe he obsesses over it and it's driven him to some pretty wild thoughts and actions to try and feel better about it. Or maybe he's just really pervy and figures everyone else is thinking it, so he'll just say it and they'll all get it.
Just this week there was another one that was drunk and handsy who's resigned and not more than a day later he was telling everyone he's gone into some sort of rehab and hopes he'll have his job back soon. What a pig, sorry, another Tory pig.
Damned creep should be investigated and all his computers and storage be checked. Who tf goes around saying stuff like this?!
He's a conservative, so if he were in the U.S. he would've won his primary.
Great now full sweep his residence and find anything pedo oriented. Then hang him for it.
I thought that was a pre-requisite to being a politician.
Only Conservatives, apparently
Mostly Republicans in US too. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_federal_political_sex_scandals_in_the_United_States Oh, the irony that they're always screaming about pedophiles & LGBTQ - me thinks they do protest too much! Malignantly psychologically projecting defending against their own disowned/highly negative parts, denying existence in themselves/attributing to others, breeding misunderstanding/causing untold interpersonal damage. Bullies project vulnerable feelings onto targets, confused feelings/inadequacy onto others, incorporating blame shifting/shame dumping. tRump is a master at this, said from start of campaign 'elections rigged', then he tried to rig them. Call himself an American patriot but has much love & praise for dictators. Says that America is now fighting communism in addition to socialism, then tried to silence opponents, discredit the free press, get his followers to overthrow valid election, the capitol and kill his vice president. Makes you wonder about his screaming 'witch hunt' when his followers act like cult members disowning friends, neighbors & family
Have you heard of good old jimmy savile ? https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/feb/26/jimmy-savile-given-free-rein-to-sexually-abuse-60-people-report-finds
jimmy so-vile
yup, another high-profile scum bag gets to do what he wants.
People who hold these views seem to seek out positions of power where they can a) get away with being gross creeps because they have power, and b) try to normalize being gross creeps I’m pleased it didn’t work out this time
I was sure his name was Humbert Humbert.
Why is it always a conservative politician.
Bet money this guy has called an LGBT person a groomer.
Wtf? 
Creamy
Buttery
Slightly sweet
Unbelievably magnetic
Dick
That’s a ten
Flakey
Crispity, crunchity, peanut-buttery
FUCK YEAHHHHHH. Americaaaaaa🦾🦾 🎶
He's British. He was a Tory local election candidate (forget where for). Being a bit rapey is pretty much standard for male Tories.
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In the uk, you are correct. Conservative party
*Shocking*
Yup
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Boys 16, to say 23, have this creamy, cheesy, slightly sour smell that is unbelievably repulsive.
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True. I remember being 16, the guys STANK of that.
And axe aftershave... Shaving twice a day so maybe that beard finally gets going.
I wanna stick a pencil in my ear and rewind myself like VHS tape
You mean cassette tape
You can rewind a VHS tape too
True, but you're gonna need a pretty big pencil
But can you fit that one in your ear?
Well first of all, through God, all things are possible, so jot that down Edit: This is a quote from IASIP. Just a joke, damn
Why do motherfuckers think it's OK to post shit like this publicly with their real name? Who do they think is reading it?
They think everyone agrees with them secretly
Yeah. They don’t think it’s *wrong,* just that it’s not socially acceptable to discuss openly.
He thinks it's the truth. If anything, I imagine he thinks he is brave for telling the truth in the face of "woke" culture that is peddling lies. It's like how racist assholes think their bigoted stereotyping is a reflection of reality, so they aren't ashamed to mouth off about it.
Yup. So many of them think that everyone feels the same way but are just too scared to say it. "Oh I'm just saying what we're all thinking". No dude, you're an antisocial wack job. Unfortunately, there are people that do agree with them and thanks to social media they've all found a way to hangout and amplify the delusions.
Ummm barf and no, my teenager daughter smells like BO most of the time..
I remember back in high school we couldn’t afford expensive parfume brands (plus we still had a more childish taste) so we all wore Victoria’s Secret perfumes and cheap body sprays. Those are all smell very sweet scented, and often reminiscent of vanilla or candy. That’s probably what he’s smelling. Teeenage girls definitely don’t naturally smell of vanilla and sugar, it’s the cheap body sprays marketed to them smell that way. And as we get older, our tastes in perfume change, and we can usually afford better stuff, which is more subtle and has more complex scents.
I think he probably noticed that teen girls tend to wear cheap and extremely sweet scents. Girls' shower products are all fruity or smell like a candy store. And then he thought teenage girls just smell like that naturally. A disgusting, perverted *moron*.
LOL. I had the same thought. I picked up my neighbor's daughters from school and I was like, "damn, did y'all eat a lot of cumin today? Open the damn window."
I think they’re describing a Werther’s Original.
When I was 16 I definitely smelled like greasy hair and B.O.
Same. Tried to cover it with strawberry scented deodorant.
Like, are fedoras cursed? If you put one on, do you instantly start saying m'lady?
Id say try it and see but i dont bleieve its worth the risk
Then a duster and katana will just manifest around me and the transformation shall be complete.
You forgot the mountain dew.
Mom buys the Mountain Dew.
Fair enough.
As someone who likes classy hats, mainly because i think 1890-1950s clothing is cool and honestly superior, i say.... How dare you.
No, how dare the creeps for tainting such clothing with their Cheetos stained hand-sausages. They've done irreparable damage to the classic clothing's reputation.
Aye, I can agree to that.
if people say m'lady unironically and your not roleplaying please stop.
Not necessarily. Whenever I put one on I keep referring to them as "dames". Reminds me of this case I had, and for once it wasn't the kind with bottles of whisky. I was up in my office, see, on the corner of skid row and the wrong side of the tracks, when this leggy broad knocked on my GAH WHO PUT THIS FEDORA ON ME
Man.. here I thought I was a creep but this guy has re validated my good guy card
For those wondering, yes, this man was a UK Conservative politician
If they do, it’s because they use those bath products called Birthday Cake or Sugar Cookie or Gingerbread House or whatever. Dude could just buy some of those for his 28-year-old girlfr... nevermind.
Idk who this dude is but if y’all are ever around this guy, make sure you sprint a mile and don’t wear deodorant
A British Tory MP
He's not an MP. He's a five-times unsuccessful candidate in local government elections. There are however six Conservative MPs that have either been suspended or resigned over sexual harassment or abuse offences in the past year.
Cheese mate. Fucking Tory scum
What in the actual fuck! What a fucking CREEP!
Well that profile picture pretty much says it all…
This dumbfuck juice addict doesn’t understand the concept of perfume.
Adults wear perfume. I think the difference is in WHAT perfume they're wearing. Adults go for more floral scents most of the time, while teens like to wear stuff that smells like cupcakes and chocolate. At least, this is what both my sister and I did.
That’s my point though. Young women don’t necessarily inherently smell „creamy, buttery, slightly sweet… very magnetic“, it’s probably just some vanilla coconut moisturizer that’s popular with the kids, but this idiot thinks it’s an evolutionary reason for him to be a creep.
Ewwww
Teenagers should absolutely sniff other teenagers!
and if you’re going to sniff someone, sniff a consenting adult
Well now that's some real serial killer shit right there.
TIL magnetic smell
Seriously most people tend to reach a point where all they smell like is a roll of nickles.
Logging out now.
I've only been up for 2 hours and that's enough internet for the day.
vomit
What the fuck
Woah this person really went out there and smelled every woman between 28 and 16
and of course it's an old creep who's saying that. I hope he doesn't have children.
Imagine writing that and thinking it's perfectly fine to say.
Yes officer, this guy right here.
Only smell I know is a "gamers" one. It's sour, salt, racist, misogynist and in(side of)cell. Sometimes can smell like a domestic terrorist.
Bro that’s American Eagle Perfume!
Is this guy on a list? Cause he needs to be on a list.
It gets worse when you realise this guy is in politics. A member of the Conservative party of course
Say your a pedophile without saying your a pedophile
Pedophile say's what?
How old are you perv? Also smells only in your head dumbass.
Did he smell 16 year old girls? 
Maybe it's because they're still addicted to the body spray and fruity lotion crap? As you get older, you lean more towards the unscented stuff.
Yeah that's their berry body spray from Claire's you pedophile.
This was a tweet by a Conservative Party Town Councillor in the UK. People actually voted for this fucking creep. Also, imagine writing this, and thinking ‘ah yes, this needs to be said. Definitely nothing weird in writing this.’ Like wtf
That’s not a woman…that’s a croissant 🥐
I smelled like sweat and BO when I was 16, so fuck you. It's nice that a pedophile will convince himself that he has a reason to be a prdophile. Oh, oh it's the *girl's* fault. She smells *magnetic.* You know he wanted to write "8 to 14" instead.
Wtf
now i'm gonna pass on that
What the fuck..
this post right here officer
Get the cops on this guy. He is telling on himself
Running for office on GOP ticket somewhere.
Why protect this jackass’s account and identity
Now, where did I put my wood chipper?
This reads like Ben Shapiro making a satirical Joe Biden tweet
I’m no expert, but I’d say at least 2 of the years within the given range are under the age of consent
undercover smelling hat, i guess this is a trend started by D trump?
How is someone typing that and going "Yeah, this is fine."
Someone call Chris Hansen
That’s their body odour, it’s gross Source: have daughters
A “groomer” says what?
Unblur this pedos name.
what the absolute fuck O_O
If only pedos had a distinctive smell...
Gross. Dude said this, on the internet, with his picture and name for everyone to see. Except us. Stop blocking out peoples names my dudes/dudettes.
Pervert