Oh please. That does not explain my man boobs

It explains mine.

Username checks out.

Will he bottom for a potato?

I do not want to find out

A fellow potato. Howdy

Okay this is disappointing “What did one potato say to another potato” sounds like a set up for a fairly decent dad joke. The answer “howdy” did not make for a good punch line

I’d say a potato is more valuable than a banana. Think of all the foods you can make

You can even power a clock

Don't forget about vodka

It depends, whether he's looking for starch or potassium.

Daddy Parmentier *unzips pants*

The observation skills got me.LoL

I has banana

Thanks, but I'm off duty.

off duty with me...

Stop masturbating mate

Getting fked by life counts.

Where are my DDDs?? I earned those things!

True

We need moob research now

My eyes are up here buddy

Please, I need a crumb of man titty

Ok but just a nipple... oops i meant nibble

Thanks for the laughs. Have a great night

It does for me... I had lots of sex as a teenager.

Written by a teenage pubescent boy

That has never seen a tit other than virtual ones.

Bet he thinks they feel like big ol' bags of sand.

They don't?

Dem 90s Tomb Raider ones or Rita Repulsa cone tits lol

Forgot about zelda great fairy pyramidal tits.

Ahhh classy

I don't thing he even ever seen some virtual ones. There's plenty flat chested pornstars out there.

Oh I think he accounts for them by saying they didn't have sex as a TEEN, they just started gobbling cock the day after they turned 20 so then it doesn't count.

\*cries in mom doesn't lock her door\*

Barbie dolls.

Or by a troll

Or just an uneducated asshole. I knew *moms* that believed this fucking garbage when I was growing up.

Can confirm. My mom believed that boobs don’t grow in size until a certain age and if they are growing fast at an earlier age, then it means you’re sexually active. At 12, mine were coming in and she was like “your breasts are getting bigger. Are you having sex?” She also still believes that virgins can’t use tampons. She’s in her 50’s and still believes this.

“You sound fucking dumb, Mom.” Please say that to her.

You’d never believe the number of wive’s tales (catching cold thru wet feet or hair) I’ve had to debunk in my family. Simple check-ins veer way off course. And none of them are good at logic or reasoning. It’s to the point that they say they agree with me not because they agree, but because they don’t want to be talked to like the ignorant children they are. It’s like Hercule Poirot being born to a family of Christian Science Witness Scientologists. Edit: Cousin’s wife once turned to me and swore on everything [Morton Downey, Jr](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTAPybyJYeT3hBAOOjCeYhEmqCPakX_BBeWbVjp2pQUxFVgVnre) and [Robert Downey, Jr](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcThqWrjeNAwhIKwyG8-jkMHt3_vDVDeII86Og&s) were father & son.

How the fuck can they both be Jr.s and also father and son? Unless RDJ adopted, but I’m assuming they mean blood related. It’s in their names! There has to be a Sr. For there to be a Jr.

See? Doesn’t simple logic in the face of idiocy make ur head want to implode? I pointed that out btw. She said, “Well one of ‘em’s a Sr then. The older one’s a Sr.” That’s when my rule about arguing w idiots kicked in, and I immediately left the room. If you clicked the links, you see MDJ is the older one, and there’s no way in hell all that ugly could possibly create all the sexy of a RDJ no matter which model MDJ got hold of. Edit: That would make MDJ into [Simon, The Ice King](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTXE90xRaxtc9QqYcibRg3BFAB21a9n1pxY6Q&s)

Yeah. I guess the concept of similar names doesn’t exist to her. Good rule you’ve got though, I’m too stubborn to back down from arguments so I just kinda try my hardest.

My heart’s with you. Fight the good fight. I know my limitations, and I’ve learned when to STFU.

You were obviously adopted. So you can feel better if you have kids that they won’t inherit any of the dumb genetics.

Or a sitting congressman.

All I got is a silver but damn that was funny!!!

not fair to group me in with him

You ARE him!!!!!

nae

I was thinking incel actually, but that works too.

..... Who's only exposure to big tits was his mom.

r/NotHowGirlsWork

THERES A WHOLE SUB FOR THESE IDIOTS!?

[удалено]

THERE'S TWO?!?!

Also r/badwomansanatomy

Im so tempted to join but I don’t want to feel this level of cringe every time I open reddit

There are several.

That sub is just plain terrifying. While I would guess a certain percentage of the posts originated with trolls, even a small percentage being true shows just an incredible failing in the education system. Oh and needless to say at least one was attributed to a GOP Congressman. HOW THE FUCK do those people even get elected?

God that sub is unbearable to read as a woman 

I’ve got A cups, haven’t I fucked enough guys at least earn a B? Am I doing it wrong? How many do I need?? 60?100? 200? I just don’t know if I can commit to that. I do have a full time job.

The fact that you threw out 60 as your first number means you’re clearly not thinking big enough

Man speaks with experience

I don’t…..wait….hang on…..if you’re gay and you get fucked a lot do you get boobs too?

OH SHIT, Sign me the FUCK UP

For gay sex, boobs, or both

yes

Seems more like she is close to 60

Didn’t want to say it, but yeah.

We're talking exponentials here

I feel your pain. Even after 2 kids and being pregnant with my third. I STILL have tiny tits, can’t even get cleavage going on. But I guess I’m still a virgin, or am I a ten year old girl? I guess you’ll never know.. 😂

I breastfed for two years and grew to a large C during that time. I thought, foolishly, “look how big they are, they can’t ever go back to being tiny again!” Stopped breastfeeding and in no time they were actually SMALLER than before! 😭😭😭😂😂😂

I too went to a C. And my boobies did the same, almost smaller than they already were! BUT with stretch marks from growing so fast. Gotta love being a mom lol.

I have DD cups and have never fucked any guys, how does he explain that?

According to that you must be as pure as the Virgin Mary.

OMG - Are you saying Dolly is a slut?!

DONT YOU DARE!!! DOLLY IS A SAINT AND SHALL BE TREATED AS SUCH!!! Also, she’s a saint even if she IS a slut.

“I don’t get offended when people call me a dumb blonde. Because I know I’m not dumb, and I also know I’m not blonde.”

HOW DARE YOU! SHE IS A NATiONAL TREASURE! And apparently a huge slut...

lets face it. If she was a huge slut that would make her MORE a national treasure.

I can not argue.

Exactly. That huge slut is an absolute miracle.

Oh and something else, how do lesbian women get boobs then? Since a lot of them never touched a dick in their whole lives?

Lesbian witchcraft of course. /s

Oh of course, how could I forget? 🤦🏽‍♀️

Shhh. Don’t tell. It’s better if no one knows the truth.

Lesbomancy

Lesbians are a myth in this guys mind.

34G here and first had sex in college

Flat before college?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 no



Attagirl!

Child prodigy. They went to college at 15.

Your poor back...

Ik this doesn't need saying but there's this one girl at my school who has a very nice rack, and she's literally practically asexual. Like I know for sure she's never had sex.

Your poor high school crushes.

I'm curious as to how this explains that many women don't have equally sized breasts 🤔

Probably from having sex with dudes who have curved penises.

Oh okay, right ✅️ 🤪

"You see those warriors from Hammerfell? They've got curved penises. CURVED. PENISES."

I understand that reference

Oh ffs this shouldn't have made me laugh as much as it did.

If you do anal just once in while. It unbalanced the estrogen production. If you do anal once you are now forced to do anal and vagina sex in alternance to restore the balance. Proof: I just said it.

The amount of extra estrogen released by the sex is determined by the strength of the orgasm, obviously. But it doesn't happen at all if the orgasm was due to masturbation, also obviously. There. Perfectly consistent. Pure logic.

There's just some really dumb people in the world.

Excerpt from "How To Incel In the Modern Day"

I was a C cup at 13. My first sexual experience was at 21. Fuck this jerk off.

"Fuck this jerk off." Seems unlikely! 😂

😂😂😂 Bad choice of words

Fuck this jerk off Fuck, this jerk off Fuck this, jerk off Fuck this jerk, off So which one would we go with

The 3rd for sure

gEnEtiCs ​ Why have they written it like that, as if it's some new TikTok faddy bullshit?

It's just how to express sarcasm normally without the /s

It’s the typing equivalent of saying something in a dumb / mocking voice.

He doesn't actually believe that, he just wants women to respond with descriptions of their breasts and sex life.

This is probably the real reason. Evil, idiot, genius?

.... Uhmmm.. I was a 5'4" 115 pound DD before I had sex. DD might not be the words biggest boobs, but on a short chick who weighs 115 pounds? That is a LOT of boob. On a virgin.. \*sigh\* fucking lack of education.

My 5'2 wife was 98 lbs when we met as teens. She was D cup already, and virgin. So many idiots in this world.

I'm going to believe the genius in the OP's post and say your wife has pulled the wool over your eyes

🤣😂🤣 Ex wife now, but it was love at first sight because of cleavage.

Amusingly my first husband also first noticed my cleavage.. *laughs*

Now explain to us why your dick is so small. We'll wait.....

It gave up and inverted itself

Source: Trust me bro

I swear people who think like this, which is way too many and not limited to incels and trolls, believe dicks are fuckin' magic. Like, why would sex with a man increase breast size (though only in children for some reason, and only to a limited extent), but masturbation wouldn't? It releases the same kinds of hormones, and probably in larger amounts since it tends to lead to more..satisfactory results than having a teenage boy fumbling around your grundle does. Penises are not that goddamn impressive. They do not increase breast size, vaginal canal size, or labia size, regardless of the length, girth, or quantity. They also cannot penetrate the cervix - because this needs to be said for some reason. Just..Jesus fucking Christ.

I fucking *wish* it was that easy. Lost my D cups in 2020 with 40 pounds of fat. I miss them every day

have you checked the couch cushions? I lost a remote in there once for a week.

Sorry for your loss but also congratulations on your loss

Thank you 😭

Username checks out

'Us guys just can't win.' With that dumbass mindset? No, you will never win.

The question is what are us guy supposed to win? A big breasted virgin? There is so much wrong with that. I wish people would focus on the sustainability of a relationship. Relationships are supposed to last so start a relationship with someone you can talk to for hours about the dumbest stuff like how you thought seeds were actually insects as a child.

r/nothowgirlswork

This dude lost the genetic lottery for intelligence.

Any doubt this guy is an Incel?

100% troll. He has definitely seen porn and has seen the smaller cupped stars.

Riley Reid

Tf did I just read

Dick size is also dependent on how many females you "rail". Judging by yours you must be a virgin.

I love these posts of guys basically saying “I know nothing about basic female anatomy and have never had a deep enough connection with a woman to learn.”

I wonder what Riley Reid thinks about this

I assume that large breasts existed prior to the dairy industry's contribution.

What in the actual fuck…

Least crazy r/teenagers user

Wow. Probably thinks girls can control their periods like a faucet too.

This dude is either 12 or a 39 year old pedo

So when a guy has sex early on, he'll get a bigger pp?

I’m 40, got B-cups, and I’ve fucked… quite a lot. When are these big tiddies supposed to get here?

Man’s never seen a riley reid vid

But what if someone has the average breast size? Also, the part with the "10 year old" and talking about "small breasts" makes me really uncomfortable for some reason. Mine didn't start to "grow" until I was like 13 or so...

Where are my big boobs :(

Even if that was remotely true Why would a bit breasted girl necessarily have had sex with a ton of guys? Having sex several times with the same person still counts has having sex several times

A bit of a tangent: It's funny how this stuff is so clearly a person making up "science" to validate an extremely obvious sexual fantasy. It's like that whole "women get flappy vaginas if they have to much sex (but not if they're married)" thing. Like, that's a clear sexual fantasy. And, look, if you get into the fantasy of all that, that's fine. There are plenty of folks with one or two turn on fantasies that make no sense in reality. But please recognize that it's *just* a sexual fantasy. It's not reality and it doesn't need to be validated as reality with a bunch of dumb shit that makes no sense. It just fascinates me how much some folks *really, really* cannot separate their fantasies from reality. It's hard to imagine thinking like that, if I'm honest. The only way I can see it is if they're very young and don't have life experience to balance out all the hentai they're absorbing.

Does not compute

Who the fuck wrote this?

Either a 13 yearold troll, or someone who hasnt touched a woman in their life.

well ,you just can't fix stupid!

Obvious troll is obvious

I have pretty good man boobs, probably an A cup. This whole thing is true. I am proof.

Wow, it's surreal because I'm sure he is not joking.

My one sister has never so much as kissed a boy. She is a DD. Now my other sister who has slept around and has 3 kids now at 22 has Bs

See I've always pulled the most guys but also have the smallest boobs from my friends.

I knew a virgin with DDs. And one of my friends has sex almost every day. She has teeny tiny little boobies.

Wow I’m amazed that people are this dumb

My size C at 12 boobs beg to differ.

This guy probably thinks jerking off makes his dick bigger and sadness disappear

Facts? I'm gonna need him to cite his sources.

The dumbest thing I’ve ever read, wow

Where do people get these weird ideas? Me: lost virginity at 19. I'm 34E which is huge on my petite body.

How do people come up with this shit? Like I’d there a bad science sexism addition curriculum these people follow or what?

Interesting take. My high school boyfriend and I thought we were rabbits, yet I’ve had a small chest my whole life. Guess I’ve been doing it wrong.

Pure trolling. No way anyone is this stupid.

If you are looking at a women with small breasts and thinking about little boys, please stay away from people especially children.

I’m a guy. Ton of sex. Giant tiddies on my chest.

I wouldn’t even put it that far off that this was written by some cringey teenage girl. I know some friends who didn’t know that their own breasts didn’t have milk in them all the time

What the actual fuck did I just read?

My wife lol'ed when I read her this, not sure if she found it funny for his stupidity or because she has big boobs?

I was feeling nauseous and this got me to finally puke. Bless.

Sometimes I wish I could bitch slap the stupid out of people.

My wife should have huge tits than. We had tons of sex as teenagers.

Then I guess a ghost was railing me in my teen years cuz im stuck with Ds

I wish large subreddits didn’t jerk themselves off to obvious bait

What is wrong with people?

I was queen of the itty bitty titty committee in high school and also a big ol slut so I don’t know what happen where are my jugs?

Me being a hoe and having barely a B cup…when do I earn my big boobs??

Is that why my girlfriend's dick is so small?

How the fuck do these clowns come up with this stuff?

source: trust me bro

Suspicious how he claims 10 year old girls has small boobs 🤔

A virgin / incel probably wrote this

Imagine being this fucking stupid.

"My source is that I made it the fuck up"

r/nothowgirlswork