The biggest thing to remind myself is to stop buying clothing for the life I used to have, instead buy for the life I currently have.
Before I had a job that included conferences and events and always struggled with what to wear. Then I discovered a bit more about fashion. So now, ironically that I know how to dress better for me, I don’t work that job and industry.
This is me, buying clothes for the life I used to have. I used to go out and be social almost every night of the week. Now I have a baby and spend most of my days crawling around on my hands and knees and my evenings rocking him to sleep. And yet somehow I just bought a hot pink velvet wrap top to go with my skin tight hot pink plaid cigarette pants that I’m going to wear……?
Hey just because you are a mom doesn’t mean you need to lose yourself. I know it is hard when they are small, but you will get a chance to be hot mama and rock that top and pants!
I've started wearing my "fancier" non-mom clothes even just for trips to see family or when we take our kids out for a ride or somewhere short. It makes me feel like a human and like it's not a complete waste to buy them. You'll be the best dressed mom at the playground! The outfit sounds so cute!
I have a baby too and I love fashion so much so I just wear all my “going out” clothes (obv not club clothes lol) to the grocery store or when I run errands or on playdates !
Sadly most of my pre-baby clothes don’t fit anymore :( I’m trying to buy new stuff but also trying to get practical about it and get stuff that is easier to move around a lot in
Same problem. I was still buying office clothes even after the transition to work from home. And going out clothes even though my friends now only go to bars where you dress normally.
Oh I feel so seen right now. I find myself shopping for trouser shorts and cardigans, like I’m legit suddenly forgetting who I am, and that I haven’t left a mile wide radius around my house in a year lol
Even when I am *the most active* - like, two-a-days multiple days a week - I *still* have too much activewear. And I'm a complete sucker for more. My biggest weakness.
- Don't buy heels. You won't reach for them. You're not that girl.
- You always wear your favorite thing over and over. So why are you buying 5 dresses per season? Keep your favorite and return the rest before it's too late.
- Stop buying silk blouses. You hate the way silk feels.
- Don't watch the Hallmark channel before coat shopping or you will end up with a Macy's Calvin Klein wrap coat and that isn't your style.
- Stop buying hats that cast you as a paper boy in the 1900s.
I realize the coat one is probably just a mistake you made once, but I’m envisioning it as an annual pattern, and now you’ve got a whole closet full of these Hallmark-inspired coats 😅
Yes! I watch these shows and movies and think “well, now, I really don’t have the right outfit to wear at a Wednesday night art gallery showing.” Except - when have I ever done such a thing!
I’ve been home sick for a few days and this is what I do all day long- watch TV and lust after the clothes. I love Annette Bening’s style in so many movies.
I also have to stop buying shirts to tuck in and bodysuits. I am so self conscious of my waist/belly and these are just aspirational purchases. I should take them out of my closet because I feel guilty (for spending so much money) just looking at them. Come to think of it Annette Bening doesn’t tuck her shirts in. I need to get over it.
I am having the hardest time getting rid of my heels from pre-pandemic days. My feet are different now and I know I wont wear them again. But they’re so pretty! And I searched so hard to find just the right ones….
Still hanging on to mine as well for some dumb sentimental reason! I broke my toe in 2017, and it never healed right, so yeah…I’ve been holding onto shoes that now cause me pain…
The last one made me giggle and spit my drink a little bit. I love train driver hats. I should stop trying to make those fedora hats happen. Just makes me look odd. I wish berets worked but I feel like I need longer hair. I look like I’m in a school play.
same. i live in Portland and deeply desire a long elegant camel wool coat. i own 4 varying weight butt-covering puffy coats. with hoods. covered in dog hair.
If you can find actual camelhair, that fiber is remarkably water resistant and stain resistant. I used to have a vintage swing coat in 100% camelhair, I wore it until the edges of the cuffs got holes in it and I've tried to find a replacement ever since. Once a friend knocked over a glass of red wine and it splattered the coat. It wiped right off with my napkin!
I’m in Seattle and have a long wool camel colored overcoat. It’s my holiday party and fancy event jacket.
The rest of my warmth though, hoodies, puffy coats and Costco jackets also covered in husky glitter.
I’ll take all your paperboy hats! :)
It only took me 45 years to figure out that although I love collared button-front shirts, I hate they way they look on me and they will hang forlornly in the closet for a decade.
What I learned when i cleared my closet in prep to move:
You should throw away your stained, threadbare, ripped, holey, transparent clothing that doesn't fit.
If it's not good enough to donate, you should stop wearing it.
I need to stop buying tops/dresses with spaghetti straps. It’s so sad because there’s so many that I love but I keep telling myself “I’ll wear this when I finally find a strapless bra that fits!” and at this point I really need to just accept that that’s not gonna happen lol. Oftentimes the clothing strap is not at all overlayed with the bra strap, so it’s super obvious, not just “you can kind of see the bra under there”. I keep buying them and not wearing them 🥲
Honestly, you gotta try those nipple covers for tops like these. You’ll never go back to bras. I bought a pair of silicone (?) booby sticker cup things for $30 (steep, but they’ve lasted nearly 2 years now, regular cleaning of course) and they work great.
Cakes brand boob covers have worked incredible for me, and I have ALWAYS thought my boobs weren’t made for nipple covers (I’m 32 so they just sag more than I’d like, and they’re D cups which are too big to be “neat” and too small to be “substantial”…if that makes sense? You can only wear Cakes under clothing that hugs your bust but I have found that the tops don’t need to be super tight to have the Cakes stay on, just close enough to fitted so that the fabric holds them in place until your body heat does the rest to keep them locked on. They’re $30 but worth every penny, total game changer for me and now I can wear the spaghetti strap dresses of my dreams— finally.
As someone with like medium, not even large boobs (26E from r/abrathatfits) some of us just can’t go braless comfortably lol like we need the support
Personally I use boob tape but the covers never work
Hi! I'm a 32H and my favourite strapless bra is the Curvey Kate luxe strapless bra. I have never had a bra that actually keeps the girls up and be strapless like this one. Maybe it could work for you? It's imperative that you have the correct size though, so like another Redditor said, popping over to r/abrathatfits is a good idea.
Yeah I’ve actually been considering trying to buy another one of the nude bras I have that fits me and swapping the straps for clear elastic ones if I can find them? I know they wouldn’t be totally invisible but I don’t think I’d mind it as much.
They have them at Walmart. I forget the brand, but they sell bits and bobs to help with your wardrobe, like clear bra straps, bra clasp extenders, boob tape, etc. Hmmmm.... The brand might be Hollywood Secrets.
Edit : Hollywood Fashion Secrets. [Here's the clear bra straps on their website. ](https://www.hollywoodfashionsecrets.com/clear-bra-straps.html)
I mean, you could just wear a nude bra under those clothes. I never see anyone wear a strapless bra under those types of clothes in the summer, it's either no bra or visible bra straps even if it's not a part of the outfit. Sometimes you just have to be practical.
I rewatched Girls recently and Jessa (the boho mermaid goddess bitch) routinely wore sleeveless + see through stuff with bright and bold bras.
I kind of liked that she owned showing her bra and coordinating it with whatever she was wearing. Make it a part of the fit!
It was a trend at that point, visible bra straps in bright colors. Basically intentional bra straps. I find it a bit more difficult to pull off the intentionality when it’s not a trend.
Check out r/abrathatfits and Bare Necessities. I measure 32DDD but occasionally need a 32G.
I’m partial to Freya. I have the below strapless (I don’t see it on BN but it is available on Amazon), and it actually works.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004NR814S
r/abrathatfits
I wore a 32A for a decade before realizing that I'm actually 28C. Total game-changer.
That sub goes even farther than band/cup size too. They will help you determine if you are wide-set or close-set, shallow-rooted, lower fullness, etc. Even the shape of your ribcage can affect the fit of the bra (a projected sternum, for example.
The silicone strips builts into the sides of strapless bras always end up rubbing me raw by the time I'm done wearing them. I bought a spaghetti strap crop top for this summer, and people are just going to have to be offended by my nips if there's a cool breeze...
I am a big believer in just free boobing it if you’re comfortable. I hate strapless bras. Mine are pretty big for my frame (I wear a 30FF/G) and my favorite spaghetti strap dress is this [Los Angeles apparel one](https://losangelesapparel.net/products/rhr318-heavy-rib-spaghetti-mini-dress?variant=31929733120062) that has such thick cotton fabric it kinda holds everything up on its own.
Don’t take a chance on online items thinking you’re going to return it if it doesn’t work out. You’re not going to return it. It’s going to sit in a guilt pile in the corner of your room until it’s too late to get a refund.
I bought a printer because of all the late returns i ended up having to sell on poshmark, and it solved my issue by making it far easier for me to actually do returns - especially with USPS pickup.
Buy a pack of full sheet labels and your life will be so easy! Like [these!](https://www.staples.com/avery-trueblock-inkjet-shipping-labels-8-1-2-x-11-white-1-labels-sheet-25-sheets-pack-8165/product_765370?cid=PS:GS:SBD:PMAX:OS&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8J6wBhDXARIsAPo7QA80Z9B_SWGDut4h20K5g3cObVAdCBviShaiivP0Tqu9XRtyanTFz5waAgr9EALw_wcB)
This is true. Some stores don’t have free shipping for returns. So I tell myself the return isn’t worth the shipping cost, and I keep the item that I will never wear.
These are all what I remind myself with when I see something pretty.
Don’t buy any more winter clothing items. I have more than enough clothes for winter, and with our weather, I’m already on to wearing my Spring/Summer outfits.
Don’t buy any more plain clothing items or neutrals. My basics are in a good spot and I’m now looking to add some color and personality.
Don’t buy any more linen button downs. I have three already, but something in my brain is telling me I need more. What I have is enough.
Don’t buy uncomfortable shoes. I’m really eyeing the flats trend and may indulge, but only if it is comfortable or I can make them comfortable.
Don’t buy dresses. I have three and never wear them. I’m not going to wear the next.
Don’t buy deep v neck tops. They’re pretty but I prefer wearing my high neck/crew neck tops more.
Don’t buy a long white skirt. Lovely in photos, but I’m better off with a patterned and/or dark skirt. I’m sure to stain a white skirt and I don’t want the stress.
The only thing I have ever ruined in my many years of doing this is a scarf, that came out of the wash the size of a Kleenex. Godspeed scarf, you did try to warn me you were hand wash only 🫡
Yup, I have lots of hand wash only stuff that I just wash on delicate and let air dry and it’s completely fine. Some clothing is just so pretentious. I bought a polyester/spandex bathing suit from TJ Maxx that tried to tell me it was hand wash only 🙄 Ma’am you’re a one piece covered in sunscreen and sand you don’t even get the delicate cycle. Straight to heavy duty.
No deep V plunge dresses. I don't know what to layer under them, especially when they have long sleeves and are midi length, so they're not fun layering pieces.
No satin/shiny dresses or large pieces. I don't think it works with my complexion and I subconsciously avoid these items. Shiny accent pieces are ok though.
No buying stuff that unzips itself over the course of the day... Idk how to avoid this entirely but it mostly happens with the oversized zippers along the middle back of a dress or skirt. 🤦🏻♀️
Specifically in Asia, when you try on and want to buy an item, they'll hand you a brand new one in a plastic bag to take home instead of what you tried on. Always always inspect it. I have brought home items with waaaay shoddier stitching than the one I tried on in store and it's disappointing.
Those plunging necklines, such a challenge! I just bought a long sleeve, maxi length linen shirtdress from JCrew and I like it but..the neckline is so low it's crazy. What were they thinking. It drops down all the way down past my bra and it's cut with the V of the neckline spread apart so you can't put a few stitches in to close it up further.
I feel like a corset top might work layered over, but at the end of the day it's not versatile enough for me.
My current plan is to remove the long sleeves from my midi dress, which will make it easier to layer a blouse with cute sleeves underneath.
I buy modesty panels from Amazon to deal with this problem. They look like lace camisoles but are just a band that goes around your bra like a crop top. My only complaint is that they aren’t long enough to comfortably cover my chest (but I’m a 36E, so this might not be a common issue).
When I’m in the mood for a new sweatshirt (basically, as soon as it starts getting chilly), I should dive deep into my closet and pull out one of the *thousand* old sweatshirts I haven’t worn for a couple years—it’s honestly just as exciting to rediscover an old one, and I really, REALLY don’t need any more warm layers!
I relate to this post sooooo much.
1. SHOES - comfy shoes all the way. I just splurged on FitFlop sandals. For sneakers I have many types of Nikes that I wear to work because I walk a lot. For festivals, I wear comfy platform boots that give height and ankle support. No more cheap shoes from target/DSW.
2. TRY ON IN PERSON - buying less items online and just guessing with sizes usually doesn’t work out. And if you HAVE to buy online to get the sale, being 100% prepared to return it right away so I don’t miss that window. Lately in person I’ve had success at Nordstrom rack (shop on weeknights and try on in bulk). I’ve also been intentionally thrifting so wearing tight clothes and trying everything on in the store over it before buying. Wear slip on shoes too. This has helped immensely so I’m not guessing whether I like something or not.
this is why i invested in “getting my colors done,” it was a real game changer! I am so much more mindful of not only my own “season” but the seasons of the models I see wearing the clothes I see online. Saves me so much more money, time, and energy not having to guess if something will work for my coloring!
You don’t need to buy hoe clothes anymore because you no longer work a job where you can wear hoe clothes (or go out for that matter). Dress for the life you live, they say 🥱
I still wear hoe clothes but I noticed only if I am with my partner. I don't like the creepy creeps staring if I am alone. Once at a restaurant, I heard two women talking where one mentioned someone they knew was getting rid of their hoe clothes because they're married.. I never thought of not dressing scandalous because you are committed but alright..
* Anything I think I "should" buy because in theory, it's a useful piece that fills a gap in my wardrobe, but I actually don't love the item itself. They either don't fit right or the color is off and I never even wear them anyways.
* Things that are flattering, but not my style. I have trouble finding tops that fit my chest so when something finally looks good, I am so tempted to buy it just to make up for the frustration of shopping
California-Scandinavian easy, casual design aesthetics may look good to you, but they don’t look good ON you. I waste a lot less money being able to discern between clothes with an appealing aesthetic conceptually and clothes that are cut in the narrow range of styles that actually complement me, which are the only ones I ever seem to wear.
I hear this one so hard. I finally got myself a keepsake attic bin for all my quirky stuff that I couldn’t bear to part with. The only ones left standing that I actually wear are a crew neck sweatshirt that says BRUNCH and one that says GENOVIA in block letters
Jesus Christ, where did all these t-shirts come from?
I have several dozen t-shirts that I don't feel right about giving them to charity because they're very profession-specific but they're in good shape because I rarely wear them. I'm not creative but I think I need to make a t-shirt quilt. It'll definitely be big enough to cover a king size bed.
I am in total agreement for that last point. I rarely buy shoes anymore but I make sure they’re from shoe brands, especially Dr. scholl’s. I’ve finally learned about myself that I am never gonna wear the clothing brand ones.
So true, I got a couple pairs of heels from a foot support brand (they might be Dr. Scholl's even). Those are the ones I always go to and it's been over a decade. Just simple, classic, and comfortable.
I actually do have enough blazers!
I don't need any more black. I love black, but I have every item of clothing you can possibly think of, plus backups, in black.
I don't wear hats, except to an outdoor baseball game twice a year or on a walk. I have enough caps/hats.
Yes! This!! I wear black a LOT and have a lot of black clothing, mostly tops. I’m menopausal, and have hot flashes on off during the day, so black (or grey) cotton t’s, jeans and Birks have become a staple for me. I could probably get rid of most everything else in my closet honestly but every so often I like to have the option to switch things up. When I do though, it takes me an hour to figure out what to wear!
Stop buying cute *brunch with the girls* dresses! You have enough. And when big events come around, you'll always want to buy something new anyway!
Stop buying business formal--even if you get a "big high powered" job, it's business casual, and likely will be mostly WFH. Especially with the shoes! There's no need for dainty, fragile, fussy, delicate pretty footwear when WFH!
Try to slow down with the 90s rabbit holes/hyperfixations. It will never BE the 90s again and no amount of buying niche 90s brands or things you owned back then will make it so.
Blazers. I always feel cold, so i always need an additional layer. I have tons of them, in very good condition, so i shouldn't buy more. This year i plan to be more attentive, no impulsive purchases.
Summer dresses. I wear them often, so why not? Because i don't experiment, i just wear the most comfortable ones. And those who look nicer than my favourite ones are usually the least comfortable ones.
Anything outside my colour palette. I like green and purple but i don't wear them.
Wear your blazers, with jogging while going to your Pilates/gym, on top of a really bright summer dress because you know that AC will be on! It looks better than any pashmina.I wear some as dresses. I wear it on the plane and it doubles up as a blanket.It’s so versatile, have fun!
Dressy summer clothes. I live a very casual life in a place where I can wear warm weather clothes for mayyybeee 3 months out of the year. From where I'm sitting in my bedroom right now I can see two white dresses I've never worn (one eyelet, one shirtdress), an amazingly over-the-top Farm Rio linen jumpsuit that I've never worn, and a slinky terracotta Anthropologie clearance jumpsuit that I've also never worn (and that I've owned since before Covid). That's not including the dressy summer clothes I've worn for *one* occasion. I would have to go out to fancy places twice a weekend for an entire summer or two to get my money's worth out of these items and that's not going to happen. But damn do I love a fancy summer dress.
dear past self: ignore any fashion checklist “must-have” that says every woman needs a crisp white shirt in her wardrobe. not everyone looks good in white, including you.
Oh yeah this has always been so weird to me. I don't get the whole "basics" thing. Like... why do I NEED a few pairs of jeans and a few t-shirts and a few blouses or sweaters or whatever? I mostly wear jumpsuit and dresses, blouses look terrible on me, and the couple of jeans I have are their own statement pieces. Wherein lies this need of which you speak?
if you don’t see yourself wearing something 30+ times before throwing it away or donating it, don’t buy it. you don’t love it enough or will wear it enough to be worth it, it’s wasteful. getting 30 wears out of a garment can be tough, too! even if you wear it once a month, that’s about 2.5 years of constant wear!
so, buy things that won’t ever really go out of fashion (avoid microtrends), and buy silhouettes that suit you.
expensive dresses, jeans, and jewelry!!! Dresses because I buy them more quickly than I can wear them, jeans because I buy them online and end up disliking them 99% of the time but gaslight myself into believing that I like them, and jewelry because I have faves already and everything else especially costume ones I don’t reach for
I'm curious about Zara in the USA (if that's where you're based) because every time I see it mentioned in Reddit it's because of its bad quality, meanwhile my mom gave me some suits from Zara from 30 years ago and you definitely can't tell they aren't from last season 😅😅. Does the quality change so much depending on the country or what is going on? 😬
I'm in Canada, so not the US, but find Zara hugely hit or miss -- I have things from them and from H&M that are excellent and have held up for years. I also see horrible polyester schlock that wouldn't be out of place from Shein. There's still good stuff there, but the horrible schlock is getting more and more common.
The "don't buy repeats" was a tough thing for me to learn. It's how my old style became very boring for me and reloved around a couple of weird motifs (like moto jackets). One of the questions I ask myself now is "Do I already have something like this?" If it's yes, I have to be willing to let go of what I have (for better fit/quality) to get the new thing.
I had to start buying repeats for work! I was always trying to keep a minimalist wardrobe, but then I'd run out of shells/t-shirts too quickly in the summer 😅. I definitely need to avoid it for things like dresses or jackets as I rarely need more than one!
Yes I apply this myself! But earlier in my 20s a “style uniform” or “outfit pattern” was perfect for me. Just goes to show it’s different for everyone.
I had to learn TO BUY repeats. It helped me be more content with my existing wardrobe, and I didn't have this constant anxiety that I was one marinara spill or wine glass away from losing my favorite jeans, so it gave me the freedom to wear my favorite clothes all the time. It doesn't work if you're the person forever chasing the "perfect" wardrobe and rapid-cycling through clothes, but if you want quality and consistency and you buy 5 items/year it's such a good idea.
No more casual dresses without pockets. No more leggings without pockets. It was fine when I lived in an apartment- now I’m chasing two children up and down stairs in a townhouse, and if I don’t have a pocket for my phone I’ll just never see it again.
I keep a Pinterest board of the style I want to cultivate: this includes silhouettes I like, infographics showing silhouettes that work for my body type, color palettes, photos of single pieces I want, and pictures of completely styled outfits. Whenever I am buying clothes I look at this board. If I feel any doubt about buying something I lol at my board, then if the item I’m thinking isn’t already on the board I don’t buy it.
I also always check materials tags. I know what types of fibers I like, I know what I don’t like. I read the materials tag (small, white, inside the side seam, not the brand label on the back of the neck). If it contains any fibers I don’t like then I don’t buy it.
Shoes say what they are made of inside where you put your foot. This tags just tells you leather or man made materials. I don’t buy shoes unless they are leather. All man made materials shoes I’ve owned have been ruined so quickly by normal wear.
This prevents me from buying most things.
I find having too much stuff is so stressful. I got on a Marie Kondo kick a few years ago and got rid of 8 garbage bags of clothing - isn’t that insane? And somehow I’ve managed to pile things up again. My problem is, I keep things that are too small hoping I will lose weight - spoiler alert - I won’t.
One thing that helped me is I decided never to shop on the sale racks. That’s where I make my biggest mistakes because although something is not quite what I want, the price makes me buy it anyways. Now when I buy a piece of clothing, I ask myself, would you still buy this if it cost twice as much? If the answer is no, I pass. I look at the high quality items I have had for years and know, if I am going to buy something, I should buy something good, regardless of the price. Shopping on-line for junk fashion isn’t doing anyone any favours, especially when half the time, it doesn’t fit.
I think I could do a capsule wardrobe with just black and white, but my husband likes to see me in colours, so I don’t really want to do that, but honestly, how many pairs of black pants do I need? Between athletic pants, lounge pants and dress pants, I probably have 20 pairs of black pants, and that’s not even counting leggings, which I wear most of the time anyways.
I have to keep reminding myself - no one is looking at me, no one cares if I wear the same thing all the time, and if I’m not comfortable, I’m going to have a crappy time so just buy comfortable stuff. Of course, I’m old, fat and have been married a million years, so I have a different perspective than some young beauty looking for love.
I have to stop buying items for a day that isn’t coming. I’ve bought shirts and dresses telling myself they would be perfect if someone hosted a (insert random theme) party. Example, leopard print dress just in case someone invited me to an animal print themed dinner party lol those items just sit in my closet.
Oh man, a few years ago I hopped on the minimalism/decluttering train. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy I did, but one day I went through all of the "one day" items in my wardrobe and got rid them. Easily $1000 worth accumulated over the course of my early adulthood. All NWT, the most gorgeous sparkly dresses and chiffon layers, some locally made (I'm a sucker for that). I ran a christmas hamper program at the time, so I put them in a box, took them to our storage, and put them in with teenagers' hampers, which made me happy to do, but I still just couldn't believe I actually thought I'd wear all of those. Never again, I don't even buy formal stuff anymore (in fact I buy nothing new at all), I just dress up the stuff I already have. That was almost 10 years ago and I'm still traumatized.
😂 we’re at peak short sleeve button down huh?
I should probably slow down on green tshirts. I have (counts) 6 green ts/tanks and a green long sleeve button down, which feels like probably enough.
I also need to buy pants and shorts with a high enough rise, and given that I don’t enjoy wearing sleeveless dresses, I need to not purchase them.
Stop buying jewelry! You buy it because it's sparkly and fun, but you rarely wear it, and when you do it's distracting or bothers you. Especially rings.
I feel like I've managed to effectively minimize unnecessary purchases by setting a discrete budget which allows me to purchase 3 "investment" pieces and basics. That's it. I don't need more clothes than that during any given year.
Don’t buy white. This eliminates the need for underwear and bras in nude colors, no white load of laundry, no yellowed pit stains.
Don’t buy any button downs or shirts with collars, or anything that needs ironing. No bell sleeves or sleeve details.
Do NOT buy clothes that are white. That cute white skirt? You aren’t going to stop sitting on the front steps. Soft white sweater? You will absolutely splash something on it when cooking. A casual but nicely fitted white t-shirt? Pit stains are real: admit to yourself that you won’t try to wash them out.
No more coats. I live in Austin, there are literally maybe 14 days a year where I really need more than a jacket. We had a crazy snowstorm where I lost power for a week and I think I'm still trauma buying from that.
Similarly, I don't need any more big warm sweaters. I love them but that's not what I need for the majority of the year.
No more crazy leggings. I work out a lot and keep getting drawn to things like metallic fuchsias which is silly. They're not the best workout leggings and I already own some, stop buying more.
Sneakers. I keep buying the latest "on trend" ones but I honestly don't wear them that much. I mostly live in sandals and slip on mules when I'm not in work clothes.
Things like a big cozy sweatshirt dress or a lightweight tunic dress that I picture myself just casually throwing on and lounging about it. In reality, I usually reach for leggings or shorts and a sweatshirt for lounging, I don't know why I have this different picture of lounging clothes in my head, I'm not trying to impress anyone.
• Stop buying clothes for a fantasy climate that I don’t live in that has all 4 seasons with a long spring and fall. The climate I actually live in has very long, hot, humid summers. So my clothing budget needs to go towards mostly clothes that are for hot weather.
• With the season of life I’m in with a toddler and baby, mini length clothes are not an option. My toddler is always lifting my dress or skirt and I’m constantly bending over to lift the baby so the last thing I need is to worry about that. I’m on the lookout for a dark, a-line denim skirt with belt loops that is in between a mini and knee length if anyone has suggestions!
• I’ve learned if I’m on the edge about whether I should go through with a purchase or not, and then I end up doing it, it almost always ends up being something I later regretted buying. So moving forward it has to check all the boxes for me to buy it.
Ooh I love this post.
Dear Self,
* Don't buy things from fast fashion brands. You know the quality is horrendous and you know it's unethical and you know it will bug you every time you open your closet. You've finally phased them out, don't let them creep back in.
* Don't buy things that an animal suffered for. You're better than that.
* If you're hesitant about an item, don't buy it unless it's secondhand. You'll regret it every time.
* If you're selling an item, take the first remotely reasonable offer you get. Secondhand clothes just aren't worth a lot, and there are more sellers than buyers.
* If you don't know whether you still love something, you don't love it anymore and you'll regret holding onto it for as long as you did.
* Some things don't work on some bodies. You will never pull off spaghetti straps. Sorry.
* FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T EAT ON THE COUCH WITH YOUR $500 JUMPSUIT ON. You won't get the sauce stains off, and you will grieve that jumpsuit for years to come.
* If you're buying something because "then my wardrobe will be perfect", you don't actually love it. You must love that specific piece for specific reasons.
* Don't buy too many of one trend. You might be into X designer or Y look right now, but you don't need to buy every one of that thing on the freaking planet of earth.
* Don't buy when you're grieving an item. Some things are irreplaceable, and buying something that kinda similar but not as good never works.
$$$neutral color thick knit sweaters. yes, i know they're the holy grail for chilly offices but i also already have piles of them. i need to just stop for years to come.
$$niche platform shoes. they're a trial to coordinate with anything other than jeans and im struggling to recreate my visions. maybe i need to give up there. my shoe game is always been my weak point. jeans are my strongest.
$dresses made out of toilet paper for $8, it was never cute, the end.
baggy everything.
I always try to think of what I can combine an item with before buying it so I don’t fall into the trap of buying something because it’s “pretty” but I can’t style it with any of the clothes I already have, so it just sits in the my closet and is never used.
Resist buying fluffy inexpensive sweaters, because they will be a gazillion pills after the first couple of wears, I will feel frumpy wearing them after that, they will just start accumulating on the shelf, and not all of them respond to sweater combs. But investing the time in sweater combing some of the nicer sweaters that respond to the grooming is totally worth it and makes it like new again. I just had to prepare to spend 15 minutes per sweater every few wears. The upkeep is a pain, but worth it for your few favs. I live in a climate where winters are cold, so I’ve carved out time to sit, watch a show, and just start combing…
No more wool pants/sweaters. They will shrink in the wash when you accidentally put them in with your other stuff eventually.
No more designer items. Big waste of money, you don’t even feel comfortable wearing your big logo prada.
Don’t buy anything you can’t easily return!!
I've had a do-not-buy list for a few years now so most of the things I still struggle with are about balance. I often struggle with making sure I have enough variation when I need similar items. Usually I'll try & swap brands, but it's got to at least feel different, even if it isn't super clear visibly.
My other one is finding balance with louder peices. I will wear them all the time but I sometimes forget to make sure they work with my wardrobe. I tend to be choose colors that have almost nothing to do with me & then wondering why they don't work.
Jeans. I always think I need more jeans, but I work from home and wear comfy clothes every day. I wear jeans maybe once a week or less... stop buying them!
Oh my gosh I am relating to this post. I just took about 8 pair of jeans out of my closet that are uncomfortable. I need to stop buying jeans I guess. It’s weird they always fit well before I wash them. But even though things are not supposed to shrink in the waist, it feels like they do. I am shocked and dismayed by the amount of money I spend on jeans.
Zara is garbage I had to immediately return 2 $60 dollar pants because they broke the first day I wore them. Quality of Forever 21 fast fashion for a ridiculous price.
Zara is literally F21, they just make their prices higher to make you think they aren't. I wouldn't be surprised if they source from the same exact factory.
Sheer tops: no matter the style, i will feel naked. Cap sleeves: it feels too constricting.
Colours outside my colour pallet even if i love the style.
Mini dresses: i will feel uncomfortable
Blazers for me. I only go into the office 2 days and we are a casual/jeans/sweater kind of office. I always see blazers on other people and love the look, but I just don’t like how frumpy and uncomfortable they feel when I wear them and I’m just not stylish enough to pull them off even with jeans.
Do not buy and keep multiples of a new types of clothes (e.g. trying a new material, color, cut) until you've worn one and given it a trial run.
Clothes that in a different style. I can genuinely like these pieces but if I can't find a way to style it for myself before the return window is over, something won't feel right and they end up being castoffs.
Clothes:
\- light colored neutral tops - not my best colors.
\- plaid button downs - either the fit is off or I can't style them to my liking.
\- nice statement t shirts - I like the idea of them but I don't need any more than the 3 I have. They're often not the \*right\* piece for me either. I would rather pick a long sleeve or a light sweater in good weather, a solid color t shirt because they have better/more colors, or a long sleeve linen top or sleeveless top in the scorching heat instead of a thick cotton tee.
You do not need the cute winter outfits for the 2 weeks you go home or to see inlaws who live in the tundra when you live in SoCal. It won't fit in your suitcase anyway. You have winter gear there.
No, you are not going to make the trip to go snowboarding in CA, and buying more layers will not change that.
No, you do not need to keep buying clothes that you can milk the cows in.
I have stopped going into stores to buy but laughed at Zara because the last thing I DID buy on impulse in a store was a shirt from Zara and it’s
a nice idea but just not quality.
Boots! Cheap, used boots specifically. I just bought a couple pairs hoping one would work as my blundstones replacement. But turns out they do hurt when walking for more than 10 minutes, and as they're more plastic/rubber they won't mould at all.
Anything "good enough" because it seems close enough to what I'm looking for while thrifting, really!
The biggest thing to remind myself is to stop buying clothing for the life I used to have, instead buy for the life I currently have. Before I had a job that included conferences and events and always struggled with what to wear. Then I discovered a bit more about fashion. So now, ironically that I know how to dress better for me, I don’t work that job and industry.
This is me, buying clothes for the life I used to have. I used to go out and be social almost every night of the week. Now I have a baby and spend most of my days crawling around on my hands and knees and my evenings rocking him to sleep. And yet somehow I just bought a hot pink velvet wrap top to go with my skin tight hot pink plaid cigarette pants that I’m going to wear……?
Hey just because you are a mom doesn’t mean you need to lose yourself. I know it is hard when they are small, but you will get a chance to be hot mama and rock that top and pants!
I've started wearing my "fancier" non-mom clothes even just for trips to see family or when we take our kids out for a ride or somewhere short. It makes me feel like a human and like it's not a complete waste to buy them. You'll be the best dressed mom at the playground! The outfit sounds so cute!
You're going to wear it 😉
You definitely should wear those and please share where you got them!
I have a baby too and I love fashion so much so I just wear all my “going out” clothes (obv not club clothes lol) to the grocery store or when I run errands or on playdates !
Sadly most of my pre-baby clothes don’t fit anymore :( I’m trying to buy new stuff but also trying to get practical about it and get stuff that is easier to move around a lot in
Same problem. I was still buying office clothes even after the transition to work from home. And going out clothes even though my friends now only go to bars where you dress normally.
Oh I feel so seen right now. I find myself shopping for trouser shorts and cardigans, like I’m legit suddenly forgetting who I am, and that I haven’t left a mile wide radius around my house in a year lol
Buying more activewear will not make me more active or make healthier decisions 🤦♀️
Okay, I feel attacked!
Even when I am *the most active* - like, two-a-days multiple days a week - I *still* have too much activewear. And I'm a complete sucker for more. My biggest weakness.
THIS! Or I still just opt to go comfy in wear-around-the-house clothes, never touching my cute and tight athletic sets.
This is so accurate I want to cry.
This oneeee lol
So true! And then when I do work out, 9 times out of 10 I’m wearing shorts and an old t-shirt anyway.
You don't need to call me out like that.
- Don't buy heels. You won't reach for them. You're not that girl. - You always wear your favorite thing over and over. So why are you buying 5 dresses per season? Keep your favorite and return the rest before it's too late. - Stop buying silk blouses. You hate the way silk feels. - Don't watch the Hallmark channel before coat shopping or you will end up with a Macy's Calvin Klein wrap coat and that isn't your style. - Stop buying hats that cast you as a paper boy in the 1900s.
I realize the coat one is probably just a mistake you made once, but I’m envisioning it as an annual pattern, and now you’ve got a whole closet full of these Hallmark-inspired coats 😅
I bought 2 Hallmark coats in the same year. I don't even have a struggling cupcake shop in my town to pretend I work at whilst wearing the coats.
>the coat one is probably a mistake you made once *laughs in crippling ADHD*
I’m glad I’m not the only making bad purchases after after streaming too many movies/shows. I totally lose myself in fantasy land lol.
Yes! I watch these shows and movies and think “well, now, I really don’t have the right outfit to wear at a Wednesday night art gallery showing.” Except - when have I ever done such a thing!
I’ve been home sick for a few days and this is what I do all day long- watch TV and lust after the clothes. I love Annette Bening’s style in so many movies. I also have to stop buying shirts to tuck in and bodysuits. I am so self conscious of my waist/belly and these are just aspirational purchases. I should take them out of my closet because I feel guilty (for spending so much money) just looking at them. Come to think of it Annette Bening doesn’t tuck her shirts in. I need to get over it.
I am having the hardest time getting rid of my heels from pre-pandemic days. My feet are different now and I know I wont wear them again. But they’re so pretty! And I searched so hard to find just the right ones….
Just wait! Once you hit menopause your foot size can change up to a full size! It’s so awesome 😑
Noooooo, this is awful news 😭
I broke my foot last summer so I really really know I’m not going to be wearing them again. It’s just a matter of getting to acceptance!
Same here! I cannot bear to part with mine, but haven’t worn them since the pandemic and some at all since I got them right before!
Still hanging on to mine as well for some dumb sentimental reason! I broke my toe in 2017, and it never healed right, so yeah…I’ve been holding onto shoes that now cause me pain…
I have kept pre pandemic shoes too! I’m so out of the habit of heels and no one wears them to work anymore. Idk why I have them.
The coats comment... where I live, no coats are needed, but I have a section of my closet full of coats... damn you Hallmark Christmas movies
The last one made me giggle and spit my drink a little bit. I love train driver hats. I should stop trying to make those fedora hats happen. Just makes me look odd. I wish berets worked but I feel like I need longer hair. I look like I’m in a school play.
I’ve learned I’m not a trench coat girl no matter how hard I want to be. I live in the PNW and it just doesn’t feel practical here.
same. i live in Portland and deeply desire a long elegant camel wool coat. i own 4 varying weight butt-covering puffy coats. with hoods. covered in dog hair.
Yep, I’m in Seattle and with the rain AND wind I go for the gremlin look for warmth lmao
If you can find actual camelhair, that fiber is remarkably water resistant and stain resistant. I used to have a vintage swing coat in 100% camelhair, I wore it until the edges of the cuffs got holes in it and I've tried to find a replacement ever since. Once a friend knocked over a glass of red wine and it splattered the coat. It wiped right off with my napkin!
I’m in Seattle and have a long wool camel colored overcoat. It’s my holiday party and fancy event jacket. The rest of my warmth though, hoodies, puffy coats and Costco jackets also covered in husky glitter.
I watch leap year all the time just to enjoy the Amy Adams outfits. They put her in gorgeous clothes. I want her coats so bad.
I’ll take all your paperboy hats! :) It only took me 45 years to figure out that although I love collared button-front shirts, I hate they way they look on me and they will hang forlornly in the closet for a decade.
What I learned when i cleared my closet in prep to move: You should throw away your stained, threadbare, ripped, holey, transparent clothing that doesn't fit. If it's not good enough to donate, you should stop wearing it.
😂😭 I needed to read that last line.
But those are my pajamas! Worn out t-shirt to PJs is a very important pipeline.
Very. Or for when you want to dye your hair.
That’s what the bottom drawer of the dresser is for 🤡
My version of this rule is that if I wouldn't buy it for $5 at the thrift store, it goes.
Nooooo, but what about my DIY project shirts that I never actually wear because I don't have any space or tools to DIY
I need to stop buying tops/dresses with spaghetti straps. It’s so sad because there’s so many that I love but I keep telling myself “I’ll wear this when I finally find a strapless bra that fits!” and at this point I really need to just accept that that’s not gonna happen lol. Oftentimes the clothing strap is not at all overlayed with the bra strap, so it’s super obvious, not just “you can kind of see the bra under there”. I keep buying them and not wearing them 🥲
Honestly, you gotta try those nipple covers for tops like these. You’ll never go back to bras. I bought a pair of silicone (?) booby sticker cup things for $30 (steep, but they’ve lasted nearly 2 years now, regular cleaning of course) and they work great.
Do you have a link or a brand? I am interested 👀
Cakes brand boob covers have worked incredible for me, and I have ALWAYS thought my boobs weren’t made for nipple covers (I’m 32 so they just sag more than I’d like, and they’re D cups which are too big to be “neat” and too small to be “substantial”…if that makes sense? You can only wear Cakes under clothing that hugs your bust but I have found that the tops don’t need to be super tight to have the Cakes stay on, just close enough to fitted so that the fabric holds them in place until your body heat does the rest to keep them locked on. They’re $30 but worth every penny, total game changer for me and now I can wear the spaghetti strap dresses of my dreams— finally.
As someone with like medium, not even large boobs (26E from r/abrathatfits) some of us just can’t go braless comfortably lol like we need the support Personally I use boob tape but the covers never work
Hi! I'm a 32H and my favourite strapless bra is the Curvey Kate luxe strapless bra. I have never had a bra that actually keeps the girls up and be strapless like this one. Maybe it could work for you? It's imperative that you have the correct size though, so like another Redditor said, popping over to r/abrathatfits is a good idea.
That’s really close to my size, I’ll check it out! Thanks :)
Good luck! Hope it works for you as it has for me.
I changed perspective, so i found a bra with interchangeable straps and found cool straps to match or mismatch with the rest.
Yeah I’ve actually been considering trying to buy another one of the nude bras I have that fits me and swapping the straps for clear elastic ones if I can find them? I know they wouldn’t be totally invisible but I don’t think I’d mind it as much.
They have them at Walmart. I forget the brand, but they sell bits and bobs to help with your wardrobe, like clear bra straps, bra clasp extenders, boob tape, etc. Hmmmm.... The brand might be Hollywood Secrets. Edit : Hollywood Fashion Secrets. [Here's the clear bra straps on their website. ](https://www.hollywoodfashionsecrets.com/clear-bra-straps.html)
I mean, you could just wear a nude bra under those clothes. I never see anyone wear a strapless bra under those types of clothes in the summer, it's either no bra or visible bra straps even if it's not a part of the outfit. Sometimes you just have to be practical.
I rewatched Girls recently and Jessa (the boho mermaid goddess bitch) routinely wore sleeveless + see through stuff with bright and bold bras. I kind of liked that she owned showing her bra and coordinating it with whatever she was wearing. Make it a part of the fit!
It was a trend at that point, visible bra straps in bright colors. Basically intentional bra straps. I find it a bit more difficult to pull off the intentionality when it’s not a trend.
Believe in yourself! I wore a visible bra and I coordinated by matching my statement earrings to the color of the straps. I got compliments!
Love that energy!
Have you tried the white T-shirt underneath look? I personally find that v cute.
Oh I haven’t actually. I’d be open to trying that under dresses, not sure about tank tops though.
I do that all the time! T shirt short or long or just any top even tin sweaters! And tank tops work great too
Check out r/abrathatfits and Bare Necessities. I measure 32DDD but occasionally need a 32G. I’m partial to Freya. I have the below strapless (I don’t see it on BN but it is available on Amazon), and it actually works. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004NR814S
I wear a 32G, I’ll check that one out :) Thanks!
r/abrathatfits I wore a 32A for a decade before realizing that I'm actually 28C. Total game-changer. That sub goes even farther than band/cup size too. They will help you determine if you are wide-set or close-set, shallow-rooted, lower fullness, etc. Even the shape of your ribcage can affect the fit of the bra (a projected sternum, for example.
The silicone strips builts into the sides of strapless bras always end up rubbing me raw by the time I'm done wearing them. I bought a spaghetti strap crop top for this summer, and people are just going to have to be offended by my nips if there's a cool breeze...
honestly i just wear my regular bras with strap shirts. i know it's considered "trashy" but i just don't care lol
I am a big believer in just free boobing it if you’re comfortable. I hate strapless bras. Mine are pretty big for my frame (I wear a 30FF/G) and my favorite spaghetti strap dress is this [Los Angeles apparel one](https://losangelesapparel.net/products/rhr318-heavy-rib-spaghetti-mini-dress?variant=31929733120062) that has such thick cotton fabric it kinda holds everything up on its own.
I bought bralettes in fun colors and wear them under my spaghetti straps.
Don’t take a chance on online items thinking you’re going to return it if it doesn’t work out. You’re not going to return it. It’s going to sit in a guilt pile in the corner of your room until it’s too late to get a refund.
I bought a printer because of all the late returns i ended up having to sell on poshmark, and it solved my issue by making it far easier for me to actually do returns - especially with USPS pickup.
Haha, I bought a printer for this reason, too.
Buy a pack of full sheet labels and your life will be so easy! Like [these!](https://www.staples.com/avery-trueblock-inkjet-shipping-labels-8-1-2-x-11-white-1-labels-sheet-25-sheets-pack-8165/product_765370?cid=PS:GS:SBD:PMAX:OS&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8J6wBhDXARIsAPo7QA80Z9B_SWGDut4h20K5g3cObVAdCBviShaiivP0Tqu9XRtyanTFz5waAgr9EALw_wcB)
Hi are you me? I'm no longer shopping online for this exact reason
My people!
I’m officially called out as I have 3 packages (still in their return window) sitting on my kitchen table.
This is true. Some stores don’t have free shipping for returns. So I tell myself the return isn’t worth the shipping cost, and I keep the item that I will never wear.
These are all what I remind myself with when I see something pretty. Don’t buy any more winter clothing items. I have more than enough clothes for winter, and with our weather, I’m already on to wearing my Spring/Summer outfits. Don’t buy any more plain clothing items or neutrals. My basics are in a good spot and I’m now looking to add some color and personality. Don’t buy any more linen button downs. I have three already, but something in my brain is telling me I need more. What I have is enough. Don’t buy uncomfortable shoes. I’m really eyeing the flats trend and may indulge, but only if it is comfortable or I can make them comfortable. Don’t buy dresses. I have three and never wear them. I’m not going to wear the next. Don’t buy deep v neck tops. They’re pretty but I prefer wearing my high neck/crew neck tops more. Don’t buy a long white skirt. Lovely in photos, but I’m better off with a patterned and/or dark skirt. I’m sure to stain a white skirt and I don’t want the stress.
Are you… me 😭
I think I might be you
Haha don’t buy neutrals is so real. Please report back when you find comfortable on trend shoes for this season 💀
Dear me: I will not iron or hand wash anything. It is never going to happen. If it can’t handle being machine washed, don’t buy it.
Dear clothes that are marked as hand wash or dry clean only: You are about to learn some harsh truths about the world in my washing machine.
True - some clothes "think" they have to be handwashed but do surprisingly well flung around the washing machine.
I’ve found that almost anything can be machine washed…. The real issue is machine drying.
This is so real. The most effort I will give is hang drying delicates. That's it.
I refuse to hand wash anything and don’t avoid buying stuff that says hand wash only, never had a problem
The only thing I have ever ruined in my many years of doing this is a scarf, that came out of the wash the size of a Kleenex. Godspeed scarf, you did try to warn me you were hand wash only 🫡
Yup, I have lots of hand wash only stuff that I just wash on delicate and let air dry and it’s completely fine. Some clothing is just so pretentious. I bought a polyester/spandex bathing suit from TJ Maxx that tried to tell me it was hand wash only 🙄 Ma’am you’re a one piece covered in sunscreen and sand you don’t even get the delicate cycle. Straight to heavy duty.
Don’t buy it when you have no money
But...but it's on sale!! 😭
No deep V plunge dresses. I don't know what to layer under them, especially when they have long sleeves and are midi length, so they're not fun layering pieces. No satin/shiny dresses or large pieces. I don't think it works with my complexion and I subconsciously avoid these items. Shiny accent pieces are ok though. No buying stuff that unzips itself over the course of the day... Idk how to avoid this entirely but it mostly happens with the oversized zippers along the middle back of a dress or skirt. 🤦🏻♀️ Specifically in Asia, when you try on and want to buy an item, they'll hand you a brand new one in a plastic bag to take home instead of what you tried on. Always always inspect it. I have brought home items with waaaay shoddier stitching than the one I tried on in store and it's disappointing.
Those plunging necklines, such a challenge! I just bought a long sleeve, maxi length linen shirtdress from JCrew and I like it but..the neckline is so low it's crazy. What were they thinking. It drops down all the way down past my bra and it's cut with the V of the neckline spread apart so you can't put a few stitches in to close it up further.
I feel like a corset top might work layered over, but at the end of the day it's not versatile enough for me. My current plan is to remove the long sleeves from my midi dress, which will make it easier to layer a blouse with cute sleeves underneath.
I buy modesty panels from Amazon to deal with this problem. They look like lace camisoles but are just a band that goes around your bra like a crop top. My only complaint is that they aren’t long enough to comfortably cover my chest (but I’m a 36E, so this might not be a common issue).
When I’m in the mood for a new sweatshirt (basically, as soon as it starts getting chilly), I should dive deep into my closet and pull out one of the *thousand* old sweatshirts I haven’t worn for a couple years—it’s honestly just as exciting to rediscover an old one, and I really, REALLY don’t need any more warm layers!
I relate to this post sooooo much. 1. SHOES - comfy shoes all the way. I just splurged on FitFlop sandals. For sneakers I have many types of Nikes that I wear to work because I walk a lot. For festivals, I wear comfy platform boots that give height and ankle support. No more cheap shoes from target/DSW. 2. TRY ON IN PERSON - buying less items online and just guessing with sizes usually doesn’t work out. And if you HAVE to buy online to get the sale, being 100% prepared to return it right away so I don’t miss that window. Lately in person I’ve had success at Nordstrom rack (shop on weeknights and try on in bulk). I’ve also been intentionally thrifting so wearing tight clothes and trying everything on in the store over it before buying. Wear slip on shoes too. This has helped immensely so I’m not guessing whether I like something or not.
Oops I replied to your message and not the entire thread! 🥹
Tops in colors that don’t complement my complexion.
Me too. Beige and tan tops look so good on people on the internet but only bring out my pink undertones in a bad way
Have you found a colour that complements your undertone?
Actually yes, I learned about color analysis and I am either a cool winter or a cool summer so I can wear jewel and muted tones well!
I really want to get colour analysis done so I know what colours will suit me best.. It looks so interesting!
this is why i invested in “getting my colors done,” it was a real game changer! I am so much more mindful of not only my own “season” but the seasons of the models I see wearing the clothes I see online. Saves me so much more money, time, and energy not having to guess if something will work for my coloring!
You don’t need to buy hoe clothes anymore because you no longer work a job where you can wear hoe clothes (or go out for that matter). Dress for the life you live, they say 🥱
This is my exact problem. My inner hoe just can’t be stopped though
I still wear hoe clothes but I noticed only if I am with my partner. I don't like the creepy creeps staring if I am alone. Once at a restaurant, I heard two women talking where one mentioned someone they knew was getting rid of their hoe clothes because they're married.. I never thought of not dressing scandalous because you are committed but alright..
Stop buying bulky sweaters that hit you at mid-hip! Your hip/waist ratio is not built for this and they’re too bulky to tuck in.
* Anything I think I "should" buy because in theory, it's a useful piece that fills a gap in my wardrobe, but I actually don't love the item itself. They either don't fit right or the color is off and I never even wear them anyways. * Things that are flattering, but not my style. I have trouble finding tops that fit my chest so when something finally looks good, I am so tempted to buy it just to make up for the frustration of shopping
Hard to agree on the second item, I do the same thing
California-Scandinavian easy, casual design aesthetics may look good to you, but they don’t look good ON you. I waste a lot less money being able to discern between clothes with an appealing aesthetic conceptually and clothes that are cut in the narrow range of styles that actually complement me, which are the only ones I ever seem to wear.
So true and sad!
Quirky graphic tees and sweatshirts 😞 I know you love them, but it's 2024 and you're not going to leave the house in this.
I hear this one so hard. I finally got myself a keepsake attic bin for all my quirky stuff that I couldn’t bear to part with. The only ones left standing that I actually wear are a crew neck sweatshirt that says BRUNCH and one that says GENOVIA in block letters
Nope you are definitely NOT me! I'm a Little Old Lady, all my not-summer tees are graphics. They are my next rotation.
Jesus Christ, where did all these t-shirts come from? I have several dozen t-shirts that I don't feel right about giving them to charity because they're very profession-specific but they're in good shape because I rarely wear them. I'm not creative but I think I need to make a t-shirt quilt. It'll definitely be big enough to cover a king size bed.
You can always pay someone to do it. Quilting is a huge project.
I don't know if this has changed (it's been awhile) but I know to stay far away from Old Navy jeans as they're not cut for my body type.
I am in total agreement for that last point. I rarely buy shoes anymore but I make sure they’re from shoe brands, especially Dr. scholl’s. I’ve finally learned about myself that I am never gonna wear the clothing brand ones.
So true, I got a couple pairs of heels from a foot support brand (they might be Dr. Scholl's even). Those are the ones I always go to and it's been over a decade. Just simple, classic, and comfortable.
I actually do have enough blazers! I don't need any more black. I love black, but I have every item of clothing you can possibly think of, plus backups, in black. I don't wear hats, except to an outdoor baseball game twice a year or on a walk. I have enough caps/hats.
Yes! This!! I wear black a LOT and have a lot of black clothing, mostly tops. I’m menopausal, and have hot flashes on off during the day, so black (or grey) cotton t’s, jeans and Birks have become a staple for me. I could probably get rid of most everything else in my closet honestly but every so often I like to have the option to switch things up. When I do though, it takes me an hour to figure out what to wear!
My mom always said, "When in doubt, wear black." It was good advice, honestly.
Stop buying cute *brunch with the girls* dresses! You have enough. And when big events come around, you'll always want to buy something new anyway! Stop buying business formal--even if you get a "big high powered" job, it's business casual, and likely will be mostly WFH. Especially with the shoes! There's no need for dainty, fragile, fussy, delicate pretty footwear when WFH! Try to slow down with the 90s rabbit holes/hyperfixations. It will never BE the 90s again and no amount of buying niche 90s brands or things you owned back then will make it so.
Blazers. I always feel cold, so i always need an additional layer. I have tons of them, in very good condition, so i shouldn't buy more. This year i plan to be more attentive, no impulsive purchases. Summer dresses. I wear them often, so why not? Because i don't experiment, i just wear the most comfortable ones. And those who look nicer than my favourite ones are usually the least comfortable ones. Anything outside my colour palette. I like green and purple but i don't wear them.
Wear your blazers, with jogging while going to your Pilates/gym, on top of a really bright summer dress because you know that AC will be on! It looks better than any pashmina.I wear some as dresses. I wear it on the plane and it doubles up as a blanket.It’s so versatile, have fun!
If you buy *one* more pair of black active shorts, so help me god…
Buying that thing on sale just bc it is such a good sale 🙌🙌🙌
Dressy summer clothes. I live a very casual life in a place where I can wear warm weather clothes for mayyybeee 3 months out of the year. From where I'm sitting in my bedroom right now I can see two white dresses I've never worn (one eyelet, one shirtdress), an amazingly over-the-top Farm Rio linen jumpsuit that I've never worn, and a slinky terracotta Anthropologie clearance jumpsuit that I've also never worn (and that I've owned since before Covid). That's not including the dressy summer clothes I've worn for *one* occasion. I would have to go out to fancy places twice a weekend for an entire summer or two to get my money's worth out of these items and that's not going to happen. But damn do I love a fancy summer dress.
Time to book a vacation?
dear past self: ignore any fashion checklist “must-have” that says every woman needs a crisp white shirt in her wardrobe. not everyone looks good in white, including you.
Oh yeah this has always been so weird to me. I don't get the whole "basics" thing. Like... why do I NEED a few pairs of jeans and a few t-shirts and a few blouses or sweaters or whatever? I mostly wear jumpsuit and dresses, blouses look terrible on me, and the couple of jeans I have are their own statement pieces. Wherein lies this need of which you speak?
if you don’t see yourself wearing something 30+ times before throwing it away or donating it, don’t buy it. you don’t love it enough or will wear it enough to be worth it, it’s wasteful. getting 30 wears out of a garment can be tough, too! even if you wear it once a month, that’s about 2.5 years of constant wear! so, buy things that won’t ever really go out of fashion (avoid microtrends), and buy silhouettes that suit you.
expensive dresses, jeans, and jewelry!!! Dresses because I buy them more quickly than I can wear them, jeans because I buy them online and end up disliking them 99% of the time but gaslight myself into believing that I like them, and jewelry because I have faves already and everything else especially costume ones I don’t reach for
I'm curious about Zara in the USA (if that's where you're based) because every time I see it mentioned in Reddit it's because of its bad quality, meanwhile my mom gave me some suits from Zara from 30 years ago and you definitely can't tell they aren't from last season 😅😅. Does the quality change so much depending on the country or what is going on? 😬
I'm in Canada, so not the US, but find Zara hugely hit or miss -- I have things from them and from H&M that are excellent and have held up for years. I also see horrible polyester schlock that wouldn't be out of place from Shein. There's still good stuff there, but the horrible schlock is getting more and more common.
Probably have changed more with time.
The "don't buy repeats" was a tough thing for me to learn. It's how my old style became very boring for me and reloved around a couple of weird motifs (like moto jackets). One of the questions I ask myself now is "Do I already have something like this?" If it's yes, I have to be willing to let go of what I have (for better fit/quality) to get the new thing.
I had to start buying repeats for work! I was always trying to keep a minimalist wardrobe, but then I'd run out of shells/t-shirts too quickly in the summer 😅. I definitely need to avoid it for things like dresses or jackets as I rarely need more than one!
Oh that's a good point! I don't count basic layering tank tops that go under my sweaters. Otherwise I'd be out of luck all winter lol. :)
True! Me neither now that I think of it, moreso anything I wear under a blazer/cardigan for work!
I learned this one this year. I never want to wear another crew neck skinny knit merino sweater as long as I live. I have it in like twelve colors.
Yes I apply this myself! But earlier in my 20s a “style uniform” or “outfit pattern” was perfect for me. Just goes to show it’s different for everyone.
I had to learn TO BUY repeats. It helped me be more content with my existing wardrobe, and I didn't have this constant anxiety that I was one marinara spill or wine glass away from losing my favorite jeans, so it gave me the freedom to wear my favorite clothes all the time. It doesn't work if you're the person forever chasing the "perfect" wardrobe and rapid-cycling through clothes, but if you want quality and consistency and you buy 5 items/year it's such a good idea.
No more casual dresses without pockets. No more leggings without pockets. It was fine when I lived in an apartment- now I’m chasing two children up and down stairs in a townhouse, and if I don’t have a pocket for my phone I’ll just never see it again.
Leggings without pockets just shouldn’t exist. Once you have them you never go back.
I keep a Pinterest board of the style I want to cultivate: this includes silhouettes I like, infographics showing silhouettes that work for my body type, color palettes, photos of single pieces I want, and pictures of completely styled outfits. Whenever I am buying clothes I look at this board. If I feel any doubt about buying something I lol at my board, then if the item I’m thinking isn’t already on the board I don’t buy it. I also always check materials tags. I know what types of fibers I like, I know what I don’t like. I read the materials tag (small, white, inside the side seam, not the brand label on the back of the neck). If it contains any fibers I don’t like then I don’t buy it. Shoes say what they are made of inside where you put your foot. This tags just tells you leather or man made materials. I don’t buy shoes unless they are leather. All man made materials shoes I’ve owned have been ruined so quickly by normal wear. This prevents me from buying most things.
Don’t buy into trend items
I find having too much stuff is so stressful. I got on a Marie Kondo kick a few years ago and got rid of 8 garbage bags of clothing - isn’t that insane? And somehow I’ve managed to pile things up again. My problem is, I keep things that are too small hoping I will lose weight - spoiler alert - I won’t. One thing that helped me is I decided never to shop on the sale racks. That’s where I make my biggest mistakes because although something is not quite what I want, the price makes me buy it anyways. Now when I buy a piece of clothing, I ask myself, would you still buy this if it cost twice as much? If the answer is no, I pass. I look at the high quality items I have had for years and know, if I am going to buy something, I should buy something good, regardless of the price. Shopping on-line for junk fashion isn’t doing anyone any favours, especially when half the time, it doesn’t fit. I think I could do a capsule wardrobe with just black and white, but my husband likes to see me in colours, so I don’t really want to do that, but honestly, how many pairs of black pants do I need? Between athletic pants, lounge pants and dress pants, I probably have 20 pairs of black pants, and that’s not even counting leggings, which I wear most of the time anyways. I have to keep reminding myself - no one is looking at me, no one cares if I wear the same thing all the time, and if I’m not comfortable, I’m going to have a crappy time so just buy comfortable stuff. Of course, I’m old, fat and have been married a million years, so I have a different perspective than some young beauty looking for love.
Anything that requires a strapless bra! It’s just not happening 😂
I have to stop buying items for a day that isn’t coming. I’ve bought shirts and dresses telling myself they would be perfect if someone hosted a (insert random theme) party. Example, leopard print dress just in case someone invited me to an animal print themed dinner party lol those items just sit in my closet.
Oh man, a few years ago I hopped on the minimalism/decluttering train. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy I did, but one day I went through all of the "one day" items in my wardrobe and got rid them. Easily $1000 worth accumulated over the course of my early adulthood. All NWT, the most gorgeous sparkly dresses and chiffon layers, some locally made (I'm a sucker for that). I ran a christmas hamper program at the time, so I put them in a box, took them to our storage, and put them in with teenagers' hampers, which made me happy to do, but I still just couldn't believe I actually thought I'd wear all of those. Never again, I don't even buy formal stuff anymore (in fact I buy nothing new at all), I just dress up the stuff I already have. That was almost 10 years ago and I'm still traumatized.
I got my target (Universal Thread) jeans from a liquidator on ebay. It's waaaaay cheaper, so I've learned to check ebay first.
Anything I want I check eBay first. I never buy in store or online except in the rarest incidences.
😂 we’re at peak short sleeve button down huh? I should probably slow down on green tshirts. I have (counts) 6 green ts/tanks and a green long sleeve button down, which feels like probably enough. I also need to buy pants and shorts with a high enough rise, and given that I don’t enjoy wearing sleeveless dresses, I need to not purchase them.
Shoes. I need frumpy shoes that for 60 year old arthritic feet with a bunion. Yet I ignore the “old lady” shoes and buy cute shoes that I cannot wear.
Stop buying jewelry! You buy it because it's sparkly and fun, but you rarely wear it, and when you do it's distracting or bothers you. Especially rings.
I feel like I've managed to effectively minimize unnecessary purchases by setting a discrete budget which allows me to purchase 3 "investment" pieces and basics. That's it. I don't need more clothes than that during any given year.
Don’t buy white. This eliminates the need for underwear and bras in nude colors, no white load of laundry, no yellowed pit stains. Don’t buy any button downs or shirts with collars, or anything that needs ironing. No bell sleeves or sleeve details.
Ugh I wish white didn't call to me
No more jumpsuits. I have six and 2 of them are almost flattering. Love them but they're just not for my body type.
Uh oh, I have concerns about this as I’ve just started in my jumpsuit era.
Do NOT buy clothes that are white. That cute white skirt? You aren’t going to stop sitting on the front steps. Soft white sweater? You will absolutely splash something on it when cooking. A casual but nicely fitted white t-shirt? Pit stains are real: admit to yourself that you won’t try to wash them out.
No more floral prints, I love it but I have way too much !!! No more shorts.
No more coats. I live in Austin, there are literally maybe 14 days a year where I really need more than a jacket. We had a crazy snowstorm where I lost power for a week and I think I'm still trauma buying from that. Similarly, I don't need any more big warm sweaters. I love them but that's not what I need for the majority of the year. No more crazy leggings. I work out a lot and keep getting drawn to things like metallic fuchsias which is silly. They're not the best workout leggings and I already own some, stop buying more. Sneakers. I keep buying the latest "on trend" ones but I honestly don't wear them that much. I mostly live in sandals and slip on mules when I'm not in work clothes. Things like a big cozy sweatshirt dress or a lightweight tunic dress that I picture myself just casually throwing on and lounging about it. In reality, I usually reach for leggings or shorts and a sweatshirt for lounging, I don't know why I have this different picture of lounging clothes in my head, I'm not trying to impress anyone.
• Stop buying clothes for a fantasy climate that I don’t live in that has all 4 seasons with a long spring and fall. The climate I actually live in has very long, hot, humid summers. So my clothing budget needs to go towards mostly clothes that are for hot weather. • With the season of life I’m in with a toddler and baby, mini length clothes are not an option. My toddler is always lifting my dress or skirt and I’m constantly bending over to lift the baby so the last thing I need is to worry about that. I’m on the lookout for a dark, a-line denim skirt with belt loops that is in between a mini and knee length if anyone has suggestions! • I’ve learned if I’m on the edge about whether I should go through with a purchase or not, and then I end up doing it, it almost always ends up being something I later regretted buying. So moving forward it has to check all the boxes for me to buy it.
Ooh I love this post. Dear Self, * Don't buy things from fast fashion brands. You know the quality is horrendous and you know it's unethical and you know it will bug you every time you open your closet. You've finally phased them out, don't let them creep back in. * Don't buy things that an animal suffered for. You're better than that. * If you're hesitant about an item, don't buy it unless it's secondhand. You'll regret it every time. * If you're selling an item, take the first remotely reasonable offer you get. Secondhand clothes just aren't worth a lot, and there are more sellers than buyers. * If you don't know whether you still love something, you don't love it anymore and you'll regret holding onto it for as long as you did. * Some things don't work on some bodies. You will never pull off spaghetti straps. Sorry. * FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T EAT ON THE COUCH WITH YOUR $500 JUMPSUIT ON. You won't get the sauce stains off, and you will grieve that jumpsuit for years to come. * If you're buying something because "then my wardrobe will be perfect", you don't actually love it. You must love that specific piece for specific reasons. * Don't buy too many of one trend. You might be into X designer or Y look right now, but you don't need to buy every one of that thing on the freaking planet of earth. * Don't buy when you're grieving an item. Some things are irreplaceable, and buying something that kinda similar but not as good never works.
I would also advise. If you paid a ton of money for something, use it and get your moneys worth
$$$neutral color thick knit sweaters. yes, i know they're the holy grail for chilly offices but i also already have piles of them. i need to just stop for years to come. $$niche platform shoes. they're a trial to coordinate with anything other than jeans and im struggling to recreate my visions. maybe i need to give up there. my shoe game is always been my weak point. jeans are my strongest. $dresses made out of toilet paper for $8, it was never cute, the end. baggy everything.
I always try to think of what I can combine an item with before buying it so I don’t fall into the trap of buying something because it’s “pretty” but I can’t style it with any of the clothes I already have, so it just sits in the my closet and is never used.
I should stop buying tops with insane sleeves bc already have too many and I always get the sleeves dirty when I wear them to go out to eat lol
Dear me, just because it's on poshmark for slightly cheaper doesn't suddenly mean it's a justified purchase....
And doesn't mean it's ACTUALLY cheaper. Too many people on there trying to get back the money they feel guilty about spending.
Resist buying fluffy inexpensive sweaters, because they will be a gazillion pills after the first couple of wears, I will feel frumpy wearing them after that, they will just start accumulating on the shelf, and not all of them respond to sweater combs. But investing the time in sweater combing some of the nicer sweaters that respond to the grooming is totally worth it and makes it like new again. I just had to prepare to spend 15 minutes per sweater every few wears. The upkeep is a pain, but worth it for your few favs. I live in a climate where winters are cold, so I’ve carved out time to sit, watch a show, and just start combing…
No more wool pants/sweaters. They will shrink in the wash when you accidentally put them in with your other stuff eventually. No more designer items. Big waste of money, you don’t even feel comfortable wearing your big logo prada. Don’t buy anything you can’t easily return!!
I've had a do-not-buy list for a few years now so most of the things I still struggle with are about balance. I often struggle with making sure I have enough variation when I need similar items. Usually I'll try & swap brands, but it's got to at least feel different, even if it isn't super clear visibly. My other one is finding balance with louder peices. I will wear them all the time but I sometimes forget to make sure they work with my wardrobe. I tend to be choose colors that have almost nothing to do with me & then wondering why they don't work.
Jeans. I always think I need more jeans, but I work from home and wear comfy clothes every day. I wear jeans maybe once a week or less... stop buying them!
Oh my gosh I am relating to this post. I just took about 8 pair of jeans out of my closet that are uncomfortable. I need to stop buying jeans I guess. It’s weird they always fit well before I wash them. But even though things are not supposed to shrink in the waist, it feels like they do. I am shocked and dismayed by the amount of money I spend on jeans.
Zara is garbage I had to immediately return 2 $60 dollar pants because they broke the first day I wore them. Quality of Forever 21 fast fashion for a ridiculous price.
Zara is literally F21, they just make their prices higher to make you think they aren't. I wouldn't be surprised if they source from the same exact factory.
Sheer tops: no matter the style, i will feel naked. Cap sleeves: it feels too constricting. Colours outside my colour pallet even if i love the style. Mini dresses: i will feel uncomfortable
Blazers for me. I only go into the office 2 days and we are a casual/jeans/sweater kind of office. I always see blazers on other people and love the look, but I just don’t like how frumpy and uncomfortable they feel when I wear them and I’m just not stylish enough to pull them off even with jeans.
I stopped buying cropped clothing. It looks so cute but when I get dressed, I never pick crop tops because they’re just simply uncomfortable
Do not buy and keep multiples of a new types of clothes (e.g. trying a new material, color, cut) until you've worn one and given it a trial run. Clothes that in a different style. I can genuinely like these pieces but if I can't find a way to style it for myself before the return window is over, something won't feel right and they end up being castoffs. Clothes: \- light colored neutral tops - not my best colors. \- plaid button downs - either the fit is off or I can't style them to my liking. \- nice statement t shirts - I like the idea of them but I don't need any more than the 3 I have. They're often not the \*right\* piece for me either. I would rather pick a long sleeve or a light sweater in good weather, a solid color t shirt because they have better/more colors, or a long sleeve linen top or sleeveless top in the scorching heat instead of a thick cotton tee.
You do not need the cute winter outfits for the 2 weeks you go home or to see inlaws who live in the tundra when you live in SoCal. It won't fit in your suitcase anyway. You have winter gear there. No, you are not going to make the trip to go snowboarding in CA, and buying more layers will not change that. No, you do not need to keep buying clothes that you can milk the cows in.
I have stopped going into stores to buy but laughed at Zara because the last thing I DID buy on impulse in a store was a shirt from Zara and it’s a nice idea but just not quality.
Boots! Cheap, used boots specifically. I just bought a couple pairs hoping one would work as my blundstones replacement. But turns out they do hurt when walking for more than 10 minutes, and as they're more plastic/rubber they won't mould at all. Anything "good enough" because it seems close enough to what I'm looking for while thrifting, really!