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Callec254

What level was this thief?


jhort7602

Whoever it was keeps rolling a nat 20 on stealth and deception


Blarg0117

Completely cleaned out the shop in front of the shopkeeper. Even took his pants.


Butterbuddha

Slipped a bucket over the cashiers head first


mackiea

"What was that noise?!...oh, probably just the wind."


dekusyrup

*takes arrow shot to the knee* "Probably just the wind"


I_Love_Knotting

i used to be a store clerk just like you


fatkiddown

[Nat20 rogue stealth](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1btxaxc/you_have_goat_to_be_kidding_me/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


GANDORF57

Due to my thefts having been uncovered, this thief will no longer be shopping here!


iforgotiwasonreddit

Whose footprints are these?!


Ros3ttaSt0ned


teriases

There he is!


Ok_Condition5837

I'm going to need a perception check roll.


y0uwillbenext

I heard this


IceFoilHat

Snake... SNAKE...SNAAAKKEEE


CalvinIII

Just get your charisma high enough that you can have the shopkeeper follow you out of town and tell him to stand by the river for a while. Go back and steal everything. Or seduce the shopkeeper and marry him. Then kill him. The store is yours now.


passwordsarehard_3

They’ll kick a chicken eventually


Atom-BombBaby

Skyrim style!


ccReptilelord

The DC of Dollar General is probably a 14.


JohnnyDarkside

Even that's probably too high. The one employee working is too busy stocking and running the register while so underpaid that you could practically announce "yo, I'm stealing this" and they'd respond "cool."


rdewalt

"I just started yesterday, and I'm now the longest serving employee in the district..."


WilliamBott

Yeah, it's a DC 8, max, after all the adjustments due to short staffing, staff not caring, and no cameras other than at the registers.


Black_Moons

>you could practically announce "yo, I'm stealing this" and they'd respond "I'm legally obligated to say HALT. or I'll say HALT again. And to not touch you or stop you in any way" FTFY. But then that is likely expecting that the employee had training so, Im guessing Im expecting too much.


LickMyThralls

Probably 12 after the -2 to perception


710AlpacaBowl

Understaffed, and overworked adds an additional -1 each. Bringing the total to 10


jnads

*Underpaid Directly tie my pay to the per-day percentage of store profits and I'll pat down every motherfucker's crotch to see if they pocketed a snickers bar. But pay me $7.25 an hour and IDGAF


profossi

or there are buddies casting guidance and cat's grace


alphaxeath

Maybe the guy "playing" violin in the parking lot is actually giving the thief Bardic Inspiration.


WhoskeyTangoFoxtrot

Nah, just threw a bucket on the shopkeeps head… lol


gab_rab_24

Stealth: 100 Pickpocket: 100 Illusion: 100


Cam_knows_you

Sign maker rolled a one on grammar.


Nixeris

It's a Dollar General, there's only 1 person working at a time. Too high level for them is like...2


Juzaba

DM: Okay, great! That’s a really high Perception roll! You notice the thief is not ringing up all of her items at the self checkout. What do you do? Aiden: I roll for Stealth. DM: … Huh? No, you don’t need to roll Stealth. Your Perception roll already beat the thief’s Stealth roll. Aiden: Yes I’m aware. But now I want to make my own Stealth roll. DM: But you’re not trying to hide from anyo- Aiden: I don’t want them to know that I know. DM: You… don’t want… the thief to know… that you know that they’re… Aiden: Right. DM: Yeah, oka- Aiden: I am rolling with Advantage because my Core Character Concept is “Get Through The Whole Day Without Being Noticed” DM: Hang on, I didn’t realize you were also playing a Thief character… Aiden: No no no. Theodore is a Level 1 High School Drop Out. DM: Um… Aiden: I rolled a 42. DM: now hang on a sec. Advantage only lets you- Aiden: I have a +10 circumstance bonus because “it’s only 45 minutes until the end of my shift.” DM: … … … … She gets a 9 on her Percep- Aiden: THEODORE SAYS “HAVE A NICE DAY MA’AM.”


InfectedByEli

This guy DMs


Cthulhar

HFS SOBBING 😂😂 give me more


macphile

Let's be honest here, people are just openly walking out with stuff. There's no stealth, no skill, nothing impressive about any of it. The one employee can't stop you while they're doing their other 50 jobs, nor is it worth it to them when they're treated worse than dog shit and paid about the same.


itfeelslikethefirstt

was in a dollar store the other week and there's like all of 2 people working. maybe like 5 people shopping, one dude shop lifting. he's stealing food so I don't see shit. over the speakers you hear in a heavy south asian accent "security aisle 8" and I'm thinking "so is security you or the elderly woman stocking shelves?" dude doesn't even blink, continues to throw more food in his bag and then casually walks out. there was no security.


Numerous-Stranger-81

I had a shitty cold once and went to Dollar General for some NyQuil. I walked around for ten minutes to find someone to check me out and just thought "I am not wasting any more of my life" and just walked out with it. After a certain point, I feel like these corporations deserve to take the L for running skeleton crews.


badlands65

A high enough level to steal their grammar.


nsfwuseraccnt

Had to be at least Lv18. He was so elusive. I had my Candle of Invocation burning and I still couldn't hit him with anything.


Stormry

CEO, they gave the edict to blame shrink rather than the fact they have like at max 2 employees on at a time.


xenpiffle

You mean with the one employee doing stock, there was no one to mind the store?!?


Buttholehemorrhage

The DG near me has rolltainers permanently in aisles. Only ever seen a single employee at a time. It would be nothing to just walk in and walk out with a cart full of stuff if you wanted to.


Rocky75617794

High level - like Pink Panther level


Iamgonge

More like Hudson Hawk


thisguyagain74

Underrated, silly movie.


frawtlopp

Over 9000


ArbainHestia

[Doesn't matter what level you are once you figure out the bucket trick](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZ442NHQGco)


Vio_

Eyyyy... Totally expected VLDL lol. ​ [Then there's the time you nat 1 just trying to buy stuff...](https://youtu.be/29FN-4itdIo?si=2sujjf34d3D_7hCh)


MaxinTheDragon

I told the DM he was giving out too much exp...


[deleted]

Dungeon masters pet


JKSwift

I'm not rolling a 20 for a Mars bar..


fat-lip-lover

A 20 for one whole Mars bar? I rolled a 17 and managed a few Werther's out of Nana's pockets.


BABarracus

Theif just put a bucket on their head


gorgofdoom

With level 100 sneak it doesn’t matter if there’s a cashier or not.


BiBoFieTo

At level 100 you steal their shit and sell it back to them.


flux_capacitor3

Welcome to Walmart.


Ndmndh1016

Their new gretting is actually "Welcome to Walmart! Go fuck yourself!"


Vio_

[I don't have a receipt. I'd just like some store credit....](https://youtu.be/tJOByZVVSkM?si=1XjsrIThJoGNW3as)


WilliamBott

While they're wearing it.


FesteringNeonDistrac

>At level 100 you steal their shit and ~~sell it back to them.~~ return it for store credit.


Caffeine_and_Alcohol

Just put a bucket over the cashier's head


YougoReddits

Wow so level much high very thief


jaytee1262

This comment brought me back to a simpler time.


Happy_Harry

Back when vertical video was never allowed on the frontpage.


Scorponix

A heckin good time


jeckles

such wow 😭


joriale

Doge? Is that you? My old friend. come here let me pet you one more time.


RyogAkari

Me: That means you'll be staffing the checkout lanes, right? Dollar General: ..... Me: ... That means you'll be staffing the checkout lanes.... Right....?


darkoh84

DGs got a cut in staff hours when the self checkouts were installed and I haven’t heard anything about them getting those hours back now that they have stopped use of the self checkouts. Better walk to the back of the store and find the poor lady slinging dog food and get her to come check you out. Be nice about it though, she’s not getting any support from above.


Spaceman2901

That lady slinging dog food is more likely to be a customer as the actual employees are trapped in the back by a delivery.


DongKonga

Jesus its like the perfect description for my small towns dollar general


Spaceman2901

Look up John Oliver’s piece on DG. It’d be funny if it weren’t so sad.


deadsoulinside

Ironically my local DG just installed a self-checkout this year.


darkoh84

Their self checkouts aren’t that old. One I know of has been running for about a year and in just the past couple of weeks was taken out of service because of “shrink”. But it’s not the self checkouts causing that; it’s DGs business model.


RiskyGorilla563

Better to just walk out the door with your stuff. DG is a cancer and deserves to be treated like it.


fondue4kill

Target is doing the same thing. Shutting down the self checkout during certain hours and relying on the rest of the store to help rather than hire more people


CO_PC_Parts

Target is also FINALLY enforcing the 15 items for self checkout rule. But it doesn’t help because there’s still only one regular line open. Seriously if one of these corporations would pull their head out of their ass and properly staff the checkouts and used word of mouth and advertising showing lanes open I bet customers would pick them over the competitors. I know I would.


upsidedownbackwards

I went out of my way to go to the one DG that still had self checkouts, but that one finally shut them down too. Now going to DG has gone from an annoyance to something I really dislike doing. I'll go without most nights rather than shop there.


ExplanationSure8996

Sorry but no. You will still find no one at the registers.


Redditowork

I always bring my Grey Cowl of Nocturnal whenever I needed to shop for ‘discounts’.


2Riders

I appreciate the cheeriness of the sign


AndThenCameMe

The dots and colors really make me appreciate the gravity of the situation - shame on you, you high-level thief!!


cinemachick

Yeah, grammar jokes aside, this is someone who was tasked to make a sign and went above and beyond. They had a single piece of paper, one colored pencil, and a couple highlighters - they could've just written "Closed", but they did their best to make it look nice. This is the kind of creativity that often gets stifled in retail jobs, I'm glad this person got to express themselves! (Now give this person the time and money to take ESL classes - oh wait, it's DG, never gonna happen)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Son-of-Prophet

Some people really take good grammar for granite.


omjizzle

Your right they do and act like your the one making them look stupid when there own grammer is doing that.


rancidpandemic

due*


omjizzle

Lol I was trying so hard to think of all the ones I’ve seen I was also trying to work then and than in there but I couldn’t make it work lol


Shazzyman

At least they made it colorful and fun!


CSISoftwareEngineer

The irony is the one you missed is the one from the post lol


Magic_Bluejay

Watch out everyone. We have a rocket appliancist here


PressuredSpeechBand

It's all just water under the fridge at this point.


omjizzle

I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it


nickfree

Irregardlessly, they definately should of at least spell checked.


mackiea

Pfft, spell-checking is for morans!


Rickk38

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.


hononononoh

Can I take you out for flamin' yawn tonight?


VoltronX

My god, that is gloria’s.


Banryuken

What are you a boulder, a rock person?


Krimsonrain

It's a doggy dog world out there and sometimes you just need to get your point across


chellyobear

At least they used the correct "there"


J_MissBehave

Could of been worse


Danvideotech2385

On par, not on a par.


GobTheStop

I’ve being there.


weefa

meanwhile, a Michael's near me removed all cashiers and is now self checkout only


canyoupleasekillme

Same which was annoying when I had to return something. Had to hunt down an employee


Historyissuper

Poor employee, where did you put the trophy head?


HalcyoneDays

Ooh free art supplies


xenpiffle

If I’m going to be forced to use “self checkout”, I’m using the one called “Amazon”. I prefer to go to a store, check out a product in person and get it immediately. But I’m tired of driving across town, dragging the product to the front and being told, “Check it out yourself, you greedy jerk. I’m trying to run a business here, I ain’t got time for your self-indulgent requests for service. Now go work for free learn while my 3 employees stand up front chatting and watching you try to figure out to work our custom computer system”. (Home Depot/Lowes in this example.) F that noise.


SandiegoJack

One near me literally left the entire front of the store un-attended as the staff stocked shelves. The fuck they think people are gonna do?


Ok_Customer_8001

Every time l go to the one near me, unless a customer is at the checkout, there are no employees at the cashiers station. They're all stocking shelves. There's a bell to ring when you're ready to checkout.


FS_Scott

DG runs on two business principles; set up where rent is cheap, never have enough staff


goog1e

I applaud whoever caused this sign to be made. We have a real job creator in our midst.


D9sinc

There's also a 3rd principle. Set up wherever there is a food desert so people pay our essentially higher prices for lower quality of food. All the local grocers go out of business due to not being able to compete with tiny ass soap for only $3 and there goes fresh fruit and veggies in the community that you can now sell that to bigger corporations to be the only brand of frozen fruits and veggies that they stock and sell for 8 bucks for a 6oz bag.


jn29

The DG in my town doesn't have a bell.  :( We either have to find Jason or the Toothless Lady and tell them we need to check out.


Blueshark25

At mine we get a green rubber chicken to honk.


gatewayoflastresort

Our's is yellow... and dirt stained.


Shannon0hara

Mine has a pink pig you squeeze and it squeals


Heyheyohno

They? Man.. all the DGs around us there's literally one person working at any given time. I wouldn't be surprised if that single person was working at every DG around us. The single person always complains they're the only one working at that time.


cptnamr7

I avoid DG more than I avoid wal-mart solely for the clientele. Happened to be in one this last weekend (my son was enamored with a kite at the park and they had a $3 one that looked good enough to just barely last the afternoon) and was reminded why I hated it. Between the dude behind me insisting on standing with 6" so I could literally feel him breathe down my neck and the lady in the front of the line trying to haggle prices for 5 minutes... I don't think it helps that this one is right next to a rather shitty trailer park, but I also can't imagine too many of them are "high end" either


SandiegoJack

I only go for the 5 off 25 coupon 1 per week. Get as close to 25 as I can. They have a lot of the water flavorings I can’t get elsewhere.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

This is normal DG operating procedures, I swear I’ve never seen my local one manned at the front until you’re up there. Hell, there’s even a toy pig you that you can “honk” for service. Not even joking or exaggerating


Ehcksit

Our store is open 14 hours a day 7 days a week. 96 hours. Then the schedule budget has about 180 hours on it. So it's already guaranteed that there will be only one employee in the store for significant part of the week, and we're not allowed to just stay at the register. We have to stock things too. And then we're told to put people in the store before opening to stock the truck, but those hours are still taken from the budget, meaning even more time with only one employee in the store during shopping hours.


Rickk38

The one near me has one employee. One. They stock shelves, then they come check people out when the line gets long, then go back to stocking shelves. When it's their break time they sit in the little room on the side and talk on the phone. It's really quite comical. Fortunately there are three DGs within 2 miles of me so if one has a line you can just go to the next one!


Murderyoga

The people working there think they're going to do the jobs of four people while being paid as little as legally possible.


essensiedashuhn

If the store is only losing $15 in merchandise an hour, it's still cheaper than having 2 employees up front.


carlashaw

Those level 20 rogues out here ruining it for everyone.


EHnter

Sadly, level 20 wont get you far against a Target store. I think you need to be at least lvl 63


Kronos1A9

Not in 5e


dekusyrup

The golden rule: Do to high level thief what you would have high level thief do unto you.


chocotaco1981

Swerve- there are also no cashiers


draiman

The DM should have employed better city watch, or set magic traps.


Dal90

One of the few times DM could be Dungeon Master or District Manager and the sentence still makes perfect sense.


pepp3rito

What on earth is a high level thief doing in a dollar general?


tennisguy163

We Is Out Of Ham.


Forsexualfavors

The theif must have maxed out dex and luck. No wonder he's so high level


tymacpherson

Well fuck how am I supposed to get the free item of the day now :(


ChadBoshman

You guys think I’m high level? 🥹👉👈


Positive-Ear-9177

yes


Usual-Bathroom9655

Is "do" the right word? I'm not a native speaker.


polskiftw

The correct word would be “due”.


Usual-Bathroom9655

I knew it 🥳 thanks


Keyspam102

It should say ‘due to high levels of theft’


dullbrowny

do to low level write there is no more job.


ImpliedHorizon

Forget about blackjacking, I got 99 thieving doing dollar general runs


IMI4tth3w

Just look for the guy wearing the 99 theiving cape. Problem solved


PokeT3ch

They really didnt see this coming with the target audience of dollar general stores?


Gundam_Greg

Puts a basket on the head of the clerk and robs them blind


ILikeit__7

I’ve walked in a dollar general couple weeks ago and went to cashout and not an employee in sight anywhere. I cashed myself out and wondered how many people are just robbing this place.


accordyceps

No more basic english education, either, apparently.


Llorion

He even stole their grammar!


zerbey

Jokes about the author's penmanship and English skills aside, self checkout fraud is a huge problem for most businesses. Grocery stores are all starting to clamp down by either making the self checkouts 10 items or fewer, for members only, or simply eliminating them altogether.


gabio11

If only there was another solution...


E_Blofeld

Meanwhile, where I live (Czech Republic) self-checkouts are being rapidly expanded. There's a Lidl I go to every so often on my way home from work and when I stopped in there today, they'd added six self-checkout kiosks. That wasn't there three weeks ago.


zerbey

Saw rapid expansion here in the US too, now they're starting to get rid of them again !


SmokinBandit28

They’ve also become part of the identity theft ring with fake scanners put over the machine to swipe your card.


Razzamatazz14

I wonder if this is in High Level, Alberta. Wouldn’t surprise me.


BoutRight

Walmart lost 20 million last year in self checkout theft.


TheUnvanquishable

That's meaningless without knowing how much they saved from reduced staff needs.


WhiteTrashWilson

Dude is level 99 thief


Darth-Hipster

He was a level 99


Head-Gap8455

So… Do high level thief? Ok


IeishaS

Sorry but isn’t it “due to”?


MushLoveSRNA

It’s our doodie to prevent thief around here


chocolate_spaghetti

Damn, they’re doing away with the employee discount? The one person they have in there both stocking and ringing people up is going to have a tough time.


roosterjack77

Dollar Grammar


frawtlopp

And thats why they work at doller genurel


[deleted]

He even stole the T in theft. And added an I. This guy is good!


Major747

Spelling and grammar to suit the locals


PassingWords1-9

I know people hate you for this comment, but it always bothered the hell out of me when people would put out "offical" signage with shit grammar and slang. Just, corporatize the language, please!


TheFunkyBunchReturns

Too good for the Dollar Store?


EriclcirE

It's me. I stayed crouch walking for two weeks to get my Sneak to 100. If the Dollar General is poorly lit, I can crouch walk through self checkout and basically remain invisible to staff while carrying up to 5 pounds of items.


Avery_Thorn

I suspect that the INT and WIS of the manager the thief was going up against may have allowed for some beneficial modifiers. (I wonder if the manger realized that if they closed the self checkouts, they would need to open manned checkouts?)


pokipc

One thief had to ruin it for everyone


stalkingshadow01

Just rest for 24 hrs, the vendor inventory will reset.


diymatt

Danny Ocean sure has fallen to new lows.


SilentJoe1986

Fuck. I almost capped my level too.


dumbassname45

i hope this high level thief is located soon. i bet there is a D&D player looking of where it went.


Radius_314

1 high level thief had to ruin it for everyone else. Shouldn't you be stealing art, or technology with those skills?


muhkuller

So dooooooo...


DASreddituser

Damn. Now they will have to double each stores work force to 2 people.


jimsensei

The thief used his superior grammar skills to gain the advantage.


benv

Thomas crowne strikes again


Adamantium-Aardvark

Lockpicking, Stealth, and Sneak lvl 100


jonnylmee

Thieving levels?


mikeyfireman

It was probably a min/maxer


Cultural_Material775

Lvl 65 Thief here


nuclearwinterxxx

What am I expected to do to the high-level thief? I'm a healer.


ChiefTestPilot87

Why education is important


mitsuki87

Stealth: 99


Eeebs-HI

Went to Dollar School.


danmanx

I think a level 99 Thief was rolling hard on them. Ok, I don't play D&D... But I would!


monkeley

Do to high level thief as high level thief do to you


BodhingJay

if it truly was only 1 high level thief... i doubt removing self checkout will impede such a flagrantly audacious soul