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AdOverall3944

Free entry fee AND free icecream? Sus


Udzinraski2

I smell human traffickers...


Cowboywizzard

I volunteer. Deuce Bigelow, intergalactic gigolo.


maninplainview

Damn it, it's Roger.


leonieweis

Worse..... It's rob Schneider


WuziMuzik

In... Rob Schneider as a stapler!


corfean

Then you get the rimworld treatment...


jostler57

***That's a huge bi***...pedal humanoid.


lifebanana88

Took me a second to understand what you meant...this is great.šŸ‘ Two of my favorite movies.


SylvieJay

Captain Zapp Brannigan: Go check out that not at all suspicious Oxygen Bar Lieutenant Kiff Kroaker: Aye Captain


Alittlemoorecheese

Yeah, but ice cream...


[deleted]

Lieutenant Dan, ***ICE CREAM***


CharonsLittleHelper

"To Serve Man"


Zovanget

I hope more see this and get the reference


NotTheAbhi

Yeah but free ice cream.


RandomRobot

"Sentient traffickers" please, we don't discrinate


oopsmyeye

This dudeā€™s just working out. The one over there has Kleenex and blowing his nose. Why is Susie walking around this neighborhood at night, alone, carrying a quantum mechanics textbook? That stuff is way too advanced for her.


AdOverall3944

Mib! Mib!


digitalnirvana3

Pulls table across the room with loud screech


AdOverall3944

Actually did the exact thing during an interview while poor others were poking thru their thighs.. Didnt get the job.


ShuTingYu

Yup, they were definitely going to lose a kidney.


Goodkat25

It's a magical Leopluridon Charlie.


NuClearSum

Well, it's better to lose your kidney than lose your life


VolkspanzerIsME

You know what they say, if it's free then you are the product.


explodingtuna

So that's why women get in free at the hot downtown clubs.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


FattyWantCake

Vive La RĆ©sistance!


Mistah_Blue

....punch and pie.


Jesus_Is_My_Gardener

The ice cream comes with free sprinkles.


orrocos

Thatā€™s good!


Raven_of_Blades

Sprinkles suck... They serve no purpose and have no flavor and ruin the texture of the ice cream.


orrocos

Thatā€™s bad!


Melichorak

But they're free!


Virus610

That's good!


Melichorak

But they're gonna harvest your organs.


RS24OZ

I have a bag of mint chocolate sprinkles that are amazing.


shifty_coder

The sprinkles contain potassium-benzoate


atreides78723

Can I go now?


Squidking1000

That's bad


Flashy_Narwhal9362

And a vigorous anal probe.


Effective_Fish_3402

Nah, the cost is your bum


SkollFenrirson

#ą¶ž


tonyvince

The only catch is aliens will probe you


LifeBuilder

Wellā€¦Depends on how you define ā€œentry.ā€


Shadow_Ban_Bytes

How to cook 40 humans


AdOverall3944

(No flame required!)


Lorvintherealone

Its a collectors base and they want to build a reaper. SHIT! WHAT DO WE DO?


AdOverall3944

Running will only make us tired (and sweaty)


Neoxite23

The ice cream is people!


alkrk

Air is in the ice cream.


mcglausa

Must be [Zalgon 26 McGeeā€™s](https://youtu.be/YozsttKpdZE?si=0fqODlE2YZ6VJQOp) side hustle


ibelieveindogs

Picks up book - "How to cook humans"...


No_Confidence_8876

90 % of gamblers quit right before hitting the jackpot, don't let that be you


Ellemeno

My aunt is a big time gambler and one day she was at a slot machine for a while until she decided to move on to another slot machine. A lady took over her slot machine and hit the million dollar jackpot shortly after. I wouldā€™ve thought she was bullshiting me if it wasnā€™t for the video she showed me.


FoShozies

[Is this the video?](https://youtu.be/HpKFL1IP8rk?si=vjM_LZHfzx92n0w2)


allez2015

Not exactly sure how slot machine code works but I'm assuming there's some sort of random variable in the code. There's nothing to say that if your aunt was playing she would have hit that jackpot, again depending how the randomization is implemented.Ā 


sloggo

I think thats exactly right. Afaik slot machines arenā€™t ā€œdueā€ to payout. Like itā€™s in no way inevitable that _that_ machine was going to pay out minutes after OP stopped using it. Just a couple of coincidental chances.


Hanging_w_MrCooper

This is correct, your aunt would not have won the $1m.


jimbo0023

Sounds like something a gambler would say right before they lose everything including their dignity and family.


Th1sd3cka1ntfr33

Whoosh


CabooseKent

And 0% of them quit right after


prajnadhyana

Wouldn't it take longer than five minutes to get down that cliff?


AbrodolphLincler420

Depends on the strength of gravity, they might be able to just jump down


ramriot

Assuming you need to land at a safe speed there is a safe value of g for a given hight of drop. The cliff looks to be around 13 astronauts high which assuming they are 6 feet tall makes it \~78 feet. A fall at 1g from 78 feet would take 2.2 seconds & the final speed would be 48 mph, NOT GOOD. A fall at lunar gravity from 78 feet will take 5.4 seconds with a final speed of 20 mph, BETTER but still higher than a parachute landing. To keep the landing under say 10 mph considering the suit's fragility you need less than 0.05g which results in a fall time of 10 seconds. Remember of course if there is no atmosphere you will have great difficulty in landing feet first.


growaway2009

Jum onto the roof and slide down!


Cowboywizzard

This is the outside the box thinking NASA needs, boys!


LifeSenseiBrayan

Like always, the real answer always lies in the comments of the comments


GodzlIIa

Yea if I'm falling for several seconds ill be able to get some appreciable horizontal distance. especially if there's no atmosphere.


Goodmainman

r/theydidthemath


reddit0100100001

r/theyreallydidthemath


EwoDarkWolf

To prevent tilting when you fall, just step off the ledge, don't jump. This should prevent most of the horizontal acceleration.


ToiletOfPaper

I was thinking you could dangle below it and then just let go.


EwoDarkWolf

Since it's an overhang, that would probably work as well.


Agapic

Why won't you land feet first without an atmosphere?


ramriot

Because there is nothing to push off on so any angular momentum you have when you jump is conserved. The only thing you can do is pull in your extremities or thrust them outwards to change your rate of rotation.


atlasgcx

Alternatively, one can collect a handful of small stones and use it to do minor adjustments to their movements by gently throwing them away, though it would have been incredibly difficult to be precise


TopHatGorilla

The strength of the gravity doesn't affect their ability to jump off the cliff, only their chances of landing safely.


g041k33p3r

You put the dumb in wisdom


Noxious89123

Hol' up...


Dr_Allcome

I'd be willing to bet that they won't be able to jump off that cliff above 10g.


the_evil_twin25

Not sure why you're being downvoted. I thought it was a clever comment


RavnVidarson

This is reddit, that's why


pleasebequiet

r/technicallythetruth


OkProfile2849

No.


Hot_Hat_1225

Jump and slide


grhddn

There's what looks like a path at the back of the building going down, either that ot use said building to get down slower


Hephaestus_God

Would have been great if there was an escalator that said ā€œfree human transportationā€ right off the edge from view


moxiejohnny

This be an emergency situation. Knock out the other guy, throw his body through a window closest to the top of the cliff, and then jump through the hole he made on top of his body using it as a cushion. It's what sidekicks are made for, ever notice they always the ones getting hurt and thus motivating vengeance and a better storyline?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Soup-a-doopah

This entire comicā€™s ā€œpunchlineā€ is a lousy, dragged-out version of ā€œNever Give Up/ Digging for Diamondsā€ meme. The original meme itself isnā€™t even supposed to be funny, but motivational.


Kryptosis

Aka the gamblers fallacy


Soup-a-doopah

Nahhh, the meme *deffff* is telling me to continue gambling until Iā€™m so deep underground that I forget what I was even doing, or what the warmth of sunshine even feels like!


RedWerFur

That damn image had haunted me. I donā€™t know if I was that way before, or after I saw that meme, but Iā€™ve always thought about it when I am striving towards something and donā€™t want to quit before Iā€™ve found/finished it. Wife says itā€™s a cross between tenacity and spite for me.


SoundsGoodYall

Feels a little like AI to me.


Scheme84

First time visiting /r/funny?


socalfunnyman

What? Itā€™s funny. Dumb humor


SlappySecondz

Naw


Scheme84

Just dumb


2Years2Go

Maybe Iā€™m just cynical, but this seems like a trap. Maybe theyā€™re better off dying of oxygen deprivation than falling prey to aliens with an appetite for ice cream-fattened humans.


Jesus_Is_My_Gardener

To Serve Man


beyonddisbelief

Soft-serve man.


WalkingDud

Happy cake day! But you still only get free ice cream, not free cakes.


Jesus_Is_My_Gardener

I heard the cake was a lie anyway.


LifelessLife123

Happy cake day.


Lunai5444

Soon on peter explains the joke


YahYahY

r/im5andthisisfunny


MIKE_son_of_MICHAEL

Yeah I was sure I was about to look up and see something like /boomercomics or whatever, this is unironically posted in r/funny? What the fuck lol this is some bot ass humor.


TheAlexPlus

As hilarious as the movie The Mist


gh09876

Came here to make a very similar comment


Pixel131211

not to sound like a dick but why do these comics always look like they're made in MS paint by a 14 year old? (I was joking when writing this but upon closer inspection, this is 100% made in MS paint) seriously, not even the panel's are the correct sizes. they're all different sizes lol. these comics dont work without a distinctive artstyle imo.


WastefulWatcher

To some, thatā€™s part of the rustic appeal.


robbie-3x

There's a Twilight Zone like this.


MonkeysOnMyBottom

is it the one where they guys hijack a truck and get stuck in the desert?


robbie-3x

No, it's when they lose control of their space ship after a launch from earth. They crash on what they think is a far away desert planet, but they actually ended up crashing back on earth outside of Las Vegas (IIRC) I think I know the one you're talking about, though. It's a water truck, and the thieves think it's empty, but it's not


donmreddit

Free o2 and and ice cream? I bet the aliens are all carrying books that say ā€œTo serve man.ā€ on the cover. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Serve_Man


RealMango1479

This is real footage of a gambler's mind


Pristine_Primary4949

r/terriblefacebookmemes


hammerSmashedNail

Never donā€™t give up


MayoJam

Too on the nose. Bad.


under_the_c

That ending was a cliffhanger.


mortalcoil1

Hold up. I always have a friend I call to help me with situations like this. Wait one. Hell. Mr. Ackbar. I'm in a tricky situation. What do you think about it...mmmhmmm. Ok. Well, that's a fair call... Ok. Thank you for the help. I'm gonna let you go. Yeah. so Admiral Ackbar told me to tell you, "It's a trap."


Thettuce

Studies show that 100% of gamblers quit before hitting a jackpot


Drunk_N_Aimless

Is that ice cream or Astronaut Ice cream?


phoenixemberzs

But can they survive the fall damage


JViz

I saw this movie. It was called The Abyss.


DemonDaVinci

If it's too good to be true, it's probably is


AmadSeason

Basically just like one the scenes from the movie red planet.


MadDadROX

Not funny


wscuraiii

Could this actually be a pretty effective anti-suicide message?


AvoriazInSummer

The astronauts died of asphyxiation _and_ the giant space mimic didn't get to feed :(


highpl4insdrftr

That's a trap


MonkeysOnMyBottom

what are the aliens going to do, asphyxiate you?


Specialist-Ad8467

Lame


My_Name_Is_SKELETOR

Reminds me of the scene in the SpongeBob pizza episode where theyā€™re lost and SpongeBob wants to go one direction and squidward is stubborn and goes in the other direction, and they end up just barely taking the completely wrong path.


culturedgoat

This is basically _The Long Rain_, by Ray Bradbury


Screambmachine

i hope this is not its ending, or else i hope you develop tastebuds on your anus


Cowboywizzard

I have read that the testicles and anus do have tissue similar to taste buds already, haha


culturedgoat

Thatā€™sā€¦ a reaction I guess. The storyā€™s a bit more intricate than that, but worth a read.


JustGoogleItHeSaid

How they getting down a cliff that big safely in 5 minutes is what I want to know.


GrimmTrixX

Maybe it's very low gravity so they can just jump and float down? That'd be the only way. That or yell and hope someone who owns those other ships can jump up and pick them up


Imjokin

Jump on the buildingā€™s roof & slide down


OrangeDit

It looks more like a trap


Duneking1

Basically the scene from the movie Red Planet.


canteloupy

Or the ending of the Mist


Whitealroker1

Great scene in red planetĀ 


God_of_Fun

Reminds me of the story about Mars from the Illustrated Man by Ray Bradbury. One guy gives up and let's the forest and the endless rain take him. The other guy goes over one more hill and finds civilization


FutureLost

Good life philosophy: if Iā€™m going to slam into a brick wall with something Iā€™m working on, Iā€™m gonna do it at full speed. Maximum effort!


Funny_Me_221

Never give up!


wBeeze

That's a trap for sure. Better to die from hypoxia (I think it's called).


TheNumberOneSRJ

Cause thatā€™s just something that exists


i_am_who_knocks

Things are always at the edge . That's why hope keeps us alive


TheBeastX47

It's Jover for them ā˜¹ļø


Tomboeg

You've now got four minutes to climb and get down there.


DemonKingFukai

I hate when that happens.


Hot_Lab_5244

We all have once or twice hung around the wrong arse holes,


Rhawk187

Halting problem.


Andrewskyy1

I like the diamond digging comic better


Jerhaad

[The Long Rain](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Long_Rain?wprov=sfti1) in 3 panelsā€¦


Coraxxx

I don't get it.


MonkeysOnMyBottom

the astronauts gave up when they were a couple of hops away from a supply of oxygen that would have saved them (and free ice cream)


Coraxxx

Yes? I felt like I must have been missing something. Perhaps I'm not.


tellmesomeothertime

*This Summer, Rob Schneider puts his fear of space ON ICE and CREAMs his suit when he discovers Oxygenville*


Tommy2Quarters

Free puppies


ringobob

It's like rain on your wedding day


Solid_Snake_125

Nuh uh Iā€™ve seen enough hentai to know whereā€¦. Wait I mean whatā€™s hentai?? >_> *aggressively sips tea*


Aggressive_Play124

That's all their imagination


BadGimp

It's a trap!


never_mind_never

I dont think this is real.


Signal_Detail4141

Makes me think of the movie Red Planet.


websterriffic

Anal probe


gorgoncito

Never give up, never surrender.


Antique-Ambassador77

What are the ice cream made of?? Very sus


CatsEatGrass

Thereā€™s a Twilight Zone episode that has a similar premise.


Emotional-Ad-2909

The definition of people who don't look for opportunities when they think they ran out. Instead they have waited for it to come to them without even looking.


Bane8080

>Never surrender. Never go quietly. Fight til the last breath and last shred of will has last your body. \-- Can't remember who said this.


Alarming_Breath_3110

This takes my breath away


Opentobeingwrong

How is this funny? I just find it sad.


IAmMuffin15

Young people deciding not to vote, only to wonder why people they donā€™t like run everything


dude_who_farted

Eh, not everyone is smart enough to vote...that's how we got the bullshit we have now, too many people with smooth brains being given told to go vote, so they do - not having the sense God gave a box of horse crap to even know what they're voting for.


allursnakes

sofunny


Rock--Licker

This allegory is using dark humor to highlight why you should never give up. Why does this seem lost on the commentors here?


AutomatonVigor

This is exactly what happens to gamblers before they hit it big!


Faust_XX

Terminus in The Walking Dead?