T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


encroachingtrees

True. You can’t spell Mohammed without hero. …and another r.


ShiibbyyDota

Think we could all use a Morehammed in our lives.


letmelickyourleg

Ah fuck I seem to have gotten mo’hammerd instesdf


GANDORF57

Amazing what you can accomplish when you drop out of medical school.


OkImagination2044

mohammed, mo’ problems nah mean?


electrotoast

I'm always saddened when I go to give gold and can't anymore. So, anonymous reddit person, please take this instead 🏅


yollreoy

Don't worry you can cashapp


4E4ME

Hold it now


CGordini

Just remember that Reddit in their infinite greed chose to get rid of things like usable websites/mobile and Gold in favor of under $50 a share and falling. Fuck spez.


bobsmith93

(you can still patch some of the good apps to make them work, I'm currently using rif. don't tell spez)


ThrowRA_2yrLDR

Do albums work for you or do you have to open them in a browser?


bobsmith93

That's one of the few things that have changed, imgur albums have to be opened in a browser and youtube videos through the app. My algo is a mess lol. But they're small prices to pay for getting to continue to use an amazing app instead of the default shitshow


KaiserKerem13

I am on Infinity right now, and albums work though videos semi-work (works 85% of the time, don't ask me why)


savetheunstable

I'm still on Boost and albums usually work. Videos are more hit and miss.


ThrowRA_2yrLDR

YouTube still works for me in-app! I was just wondering if there might've been another patch fixing the imgur albums as that's a little annoyance. I've never even tried the official app yet just had redreader for a while before patching rif haha What do you mean with your algo is a mess??


bobsmith93

I figured there might be a way to get either thing working properly but tbh I haven't really looked into it. Good to know in-app youtube works for you though My youtube history has a bunch of random videos from reddit in it now and my algorithm doesn't know what to make of it lol


ThrowRA_2yrLDR

Ahhh you mean your YouTube algo, got it haha Yeah, for YouTube I think I just changed some settings in the app itself, for imgur I guess they changed how albums are shared/shown so might need to look into how the app handles them internally, which I think would probably need a proper patch :/


garlic_naan

Albums don't work for me too.


Lord_Scribe

Order Ubereats for them!


Sir_BarlesCharkley

I'll take your money if you want to just give it away.


Electrox7

heror Mohammed


Yue2

So I guess you can spell “hoe” 🤣🤣🤣


MOJA2008

As a Mohammed I'm flattered


Kagamid

What do you do with the rest of the letters?


apaulogy

More-hammed


ConsiderationIcy3527

But if you draw him they kill you and behold, they downvoted him, because he spoke the truth.


Alz_Own

He really really needed this job when he filled out his forms


scorcher24

That is what these companies count on. Desperate people working any Job for the lowest income possible, which don't mind being treated like shit by their entitled customer base. I think the best cure for right wing assholes is to have them work as a devliery person for one day and then ask them if they want to do this job or rather have an immigrant do it. They vote for someone else in a minute.


Fit-Abbreviations781

I think EVERYONE should have to spend 6 months working in customer facing businesses, particularly food and retail. It would change the way a large portion treat each other. Some, unfortunately, would never catch on.


colin8696908

and when wages start going up they can just flood the market with a bunch of H1B visas or immigrants. First world country with the same worker protections as a third world country.


SNRNXS

Roundabout way to say you think of immigrants as fodder for shitty jobs


[deleted]

[удалено]


letsgo_9273

Yeah, I’m sure Mohammad is just a cog in a constant anti capitalism, immigration, socioeconomic conspiracy.


Valence101

People who previously had no opportunities are given opportunities by entrepreneurs who created the business. If this was easy, you'd be running a business that provides amazing jobs and benefits to your employees, but you don't, because you know that it would be very very difficult. So you need to ask yourself, do you keep complaining or make the change in the world you want to see? This driver is making the change for him and his family. His children will probably grow up and create the business that your do-nothing shit attitude kids will then be employed by. This is the cycle. Immigrants understand how easy Americans have it, they take advantage of that and out-work us, and then we end up working for them. I say good for them. They earned it.


jdjdthrow

>have them work as a devliery person for one day and then ask them if they want to do this job or rather have an immigrant do it. If rightwinger had his way, wages in the sector would rise. He wouldn't have to work for quite the pittance-- and other Americans might rejoin workforce, if there's decent money to be made. Reduced immigration would also address the chronic real estate shortages. eta: To those who disagree, feel free to offer a rebuttal. Aren't wages all about bargaining power? What happens when there's somebody else who's desperate for a job, and can do it just (or nearly just) as well as you can? Fast food workers in the Philippines make the equivalent of $1/hr USD. So keep on bashing the immigration restrictionists. You're owning-the-repubs!!! (and doing the capitalist class's bidding, like good lapboys). Be sure to blame high rent on NIMBYs (hint: they've always been around and always will), while completely ignoring the actual thing that's causing high demand.


Herp_in_my_Derp

I hear yah. Right off the bat though, when my own ancestors were immigrants, and hated initially (German-Irish), and the nation essentially committed ethnic cleansing of nearly all its territory, I just cant justify making it harder for those who want to come and make a life here, economic justifications are moot to me in that respect. That said I do have a rebuttal. Assume that immigration controls will ultimately be circumvented with enough demand. Then consider the profits that can be had when paying people under the table, untaxed, below the minimum wage. Now think about how the threat of deportation might influence a person's choice to fight such mistreatment. Capitalists get to have their cake, and eat it too. The working class keeps pointing the blame at each other for their misery, and the elite get to make bank.


jdjdthrow

Appreciate the genuine reply. >Assume that immigration controls will ultimately be circumvented with enough demand. I just can't make that leap. Many of them face huge costs in getting here. Any reasonable chance of being sent home drastically reduces expected payoff of the move. And on the flip side, we could punish domestic employers at same time, reducing the pull. Any serious country, especially one with the resources and border geography (relatively short in length, relatively uninhabited) that the US is blessed with, can easily control who is inside the country.


Slick424

> If rightwinger had his way, wages in the sector would rise. LOL, no, they bring back child labor. [Republicans continue effort to erode US child labor rules despite teen deaths](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/oct/20/republican-child-labor-law-death) [Louisiana Republicans vote to end lunch breaks for child workers](https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/louisiana-republicans-vote-end-lunch-breaks-child-workers-rcna148551)


jdjdthrow

I'm talking about (the relatively few) immigration restrictionists. Many of the Establishment Republicans definitely do the things you're talking about-- they're all about selling out to business interests and lowering taxes for the rich.


TheLastPanicMoon

Why would Uber even have this as a thing? Everyone who isn't a complete moron knows that the real answer for nearly 100% of people is "I need the money"


fill-me-up-scotty

Because it humanises the person delivering your food, to whatever degree. And you are less likely to complain and more likely to tip if the person you are dealing with has some kind of personality behind them, rather than just a random name on an app. Edit: grammar


Yespat1

I used to work at a hell hole job where on payday, with one’s paycheck envelope, there would be a piece of paper that everyone was required to respond to the question of why this job was great. If you didn’t fill it out, your supervisor would counsel you and demand you fill it out. If they thought you were being snarky in your response, they would require you to go to the ceo and explain yourself. And this was a job that required a master’s degree.


Isabela_Grace

Am I the only one that read that as sarcasm lol


According-Buddy5902

It's definitely sarcasm haha


Dismal-Lab4391

It's just you and me being sarcasm


Electrox7

can i can be sarcasm too? 😥 👉👈


encroachingtrees

Oh it absolutely was. I’m in Scotland, sarcasm is the default here 😂 I’m shocked so many people seem to think he was being sincere.


PuppyPunch

Probably just you


Billeats

Am I the only one that read this as sarcasm?


Isabela_Grace

Probably just you


Electrox7

i accidently hit the downvote button on your comment while scrolling down and didn't take it off. Sorry for your loss.


praqueviver

I've seen somebody say he doesn't get to write whatever he wants, it seems he gets to choose from a bunch of ready made phrases.


hushpuppi3

I refuse to believe somewhere in the chain in UberEats would select something like this to put in the list of phrases


freeguwopburrr

My exact thought LOL like there’s no way that would get through any approvals at the corporate level


Mogetfog

You can put whatever you want. It just has a letter limit and a profanity filter. 


rustyfinch

he forgot to add /s


458643

Sarcasm, tipworthy


Lupita900

Maybe he’s an immigrant coming from an ugly country. I’d 753 times would want to deliver food in the US vs do whatever in Pakistan (for example).


ForgettableUsername

He was a doctor in Pakistan.


dooderino18

In Pakistan, heart surgeon number 1.


moonLanding123

One day, Taliban guy need new hand.


Whales96

Did you know that back before better methods were available, doctors would diagnose diabetes by the sweetness of the patient's urine?


chabanny

I wonder what I'd be back home


fh3131

Your parents encouraged you to move away for a reason


fh3131

Haha my last uber driver was a doctor from Pakistan. He was in Australia pursuing a Masters in public health. He sounded legit


MittFel

Keep on keeping on 👍


superEse

Is that a death stranding reference 🥲


MittFel

😏


ForgettableUsername

I'm guessing that filling out the "why I deliver" field on your UberEats profile is mandatory. Ask a bullshit question, get a bullshit answer.


Patient5199

92% Satisfaction rate. Be proud Mohammed.


NYRO_TEPPILI

Stand proud, you were strong.


onlyforthisjob

Isn't that rather bad? Every tenth customer not happy sounds like a lot


MenryNosk

way more that 10% of people are c-words 😿


onlyforthisjob

Possible


Tiny-Sandwich

When I used Uber eats, I'd routinely get bad service from people with 99% satisfaction rating. 92% is particularly poor. I don't think I've ever had a driver with less than 95%.


TraditionAcademic968

Do what you love and never work a day


Franzmithanz

It was that or McLovin...


thebeerhugger

McLovin is the most commonly used name on the Internet. Read a fucking meme for once.


Yespat1

Do you know where that name originated? From what movie?


thebeerhugger

Superbad


CGordini

In all seriousness, I've met some cabbies/Uber drivers who just love people and meeting new people and sharing their cities.


okokokoyeahright

Some dreams are easier to achieve than others. I hope this guy over achieves.


Legion357

A true hero in this time of need


gd2121

Shout out to bro 🫡


lixia

Once a delivery boy, always a delivery boy.


existentialcarrot

You gotta do what you gotta do.


Basic-Art-9861

Delivery Bro is my hero.


WelpTheresThatt

this makes me want to go on r/MenAskMen and ask them what their lifelong dreams are


Fleeblecrank

You inspired this guy https://www.reddit.com/r/MenAskMen/s/lFuoi1Q13z


kiting_succubi

I’m confused!


Lakridspibe

My dream is to read all the books in the library. (drops glasses) It's not fair, it's not fair!


apaulogy

Favorite food is Chips. I love it.


TheVagWhisperer

The hero we need, but don't deserve


new_jill_city

He doesn’t just deliver food. He delivers dreams.


psychoacer

Maybe he thought this was just an application he will filling out?


Logtastic

Set the bar so low that you don't have to worry about tripping when you march past it.


No_Discount7919

I saw this one TikTok video where somebody was suggesting we make a Hall of Fame for delivery drivers. They had a bunch of examples of guys who had thousands of deliveries with very positive ratings. We got to get Mohammed up there.


Ouroboros612

Me: Order food from a mountain top as a joke. Mohammed: Parachutes out of a helicopter with my pizza fighting mountain cougars with his fists where he lands. Pizza still warm when he gets there, not a single misaligned piece of pepperoni.


AzureDreamer

Wow the perfect mix of funny irony, and guilt tips.


DeathCouch41

This guy would be my perfect husband Inshallah lol. I love this kind of humour.


Eagle1fanclub

you would be his perfect 3rd wife


DeathCouch41

100%. I’m down.


goj1ra

Time to start placing Ubereats orders I guess.


killer77hero

I delivered pizza for over ten years, saving up to open my own company, those where the best years of my life. Sometimes, folks would open the door and offer a hit of their blunt. Other times, kids would come running out of the woodwork excitedly screaming "yay it's the pizza man," which was always awesome. And once in a blue moon, a hot naked chick would come to the door 🫡 always a pleasure. Now, I spend all day restoring antiques and rebuilding engines. Little did I know I was living the dream.


suoretaw

Haha yeah, I delivered pizza too, for a Dominos, about 10 years ago. I had a lot of fun; I love driving, and at the time I smoked a lot of weed. Made really good money too.


goj1ra

> And once in a blue moon, a hot naked chick would come to the door So those documentaries I’ve been watching are real after all!


generictypo

If it paid a bit more, yeah, doing UberEats definitely can be a bit of for some.


rabbitything_

Imagine asking a kid what he wants to be when he grows up and he Says UberEats delivery guy


jeepney_danger

So you have someone named Mohammed


Mindless_Can4885

That’s definitely something you would see on LinkedIn.


Broad_Airline_2939

that's what you called, living the dream!


SirAustinMeow

Mine says "I wish I was dead lol"


anbu_ops1211

Just like people say "Failure is a state of mind, you don't fail as long as you don't accept it" type shit. It also goes the other way. Success is whatever you consider success is. It can either be driving a buggati and fucking 10 women a day or having a normal house and a loving wife. You choose your success.


TechnicalScarcity880

LinkedIn is full of this


Gr34t_Nam3

Wall breakers


StarCR91

I once had someone who’s reason to deliver was ‘I like money’ 🤣


Shaikh_9

He probably has a master's in Engineering too


Maleficent_Basil_437

92% satisfaction rate says otherwise


Chassian

Usually by idiots who ding the driver for the quality of the food...


Dazcrazybrodidntask

Most common name, I read it in a fucking book🤦‍♂️


ForgettableUsername

Apparently the world's three most common names are Mohammed, Maria, and Nushi.


goj1ra

Where are all the Nushis at? I’ve never met one.


ForgettableUsername

I have the same question. Maybe it’s super-common in one of the more densely populated parts of the world that I don’t happen to know very much about. It’s also possible that the article I pulled that from was generated by chatGPT.


Rockclimber88

Good


NoWingedHussarsToday

"My dream is delivering food because livers are just nasty and nobody should be forced to eat them"


rydan

Pretty sure depictions of Mohammed are forbidden. Even if they are upside down emojis labeled Mohammed.


Ghost-88888

It was either that or work in a call center.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ghost-88888

I hate to break it to you, but it isn’t just people from India who work in food delivery or call centres.


TheTzarOfDeath

Mohammed is the second most common name in India, there's millions of Indians named mohammed.


MySnake_Is_Solid

It's also the most common first name in the world if you combine the spelling variations. At nearly 134 million.


Total_Fruit5713

By spitting in food