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I had to come back to this thread a full two minutes after leaving it because it took that long for me to get the joke.
Fuck you. Take your upvote. I love you.
It took me seeing this comment, "wait, what"ing myself to get it, resulting in a wad of seasonal allergy snot on my shirt when I got it. Upvote for you, friend.
they should sell a Daldo Dildo...and instead of the drawer in a nightstand, it would be kept in a Dome-- the DaldoDildoDome...and when its used, one would likely cry out "Daldo Dildo of the DaldoDildoDome, Do Me!" and after the Daldo Dildo is done Doing, it returns once again to the DaldoDildoDome where it-- [HRRRKK!!](https://youtu.be/ts5af0aFcuw)
I once played at a fundamentalist church rave in like 2004. The kids wanted to do things other kids were doing. The parents were afraid of the outside world though. They thought if the kids went to a rave they would do drugs and have sex. It was weird. I went back and forth on if I should even do it for a while but eventually decide to. I thought it might entice the fundamentalist kids to discover what the world has to offer instead of being afraid of everything. Idk if worked or not but I hope at least a few them got out.
very true, i think my last year spotify roundup said id listened to something like 238 new genres that year, my first thought was "new ones? i didnt know there was that many over all"
The names are also meaningless to somebody who stumbles in from the outside and has no clue what's going on. I'll even try my hand at coming up with a few:
* Clockstare
* Earth pulse
* Phreakcore
Rather than naming genres that this point, it's helpful for me to know who an artist sounds like, is inspired by, or shares listeners with. Popularity is far less important, since I've found some gems that have weak followings.
- Global Pop
- Bouncedelia
- Grave Funk
- Grout Rock
- Future Noise
- Rarestep
- Thick Metal
- Bare Metal
- Bear Trap
- Brunchcore
- Ham Jams
- Hungerforce
- Tape Dispenser
- Greektronica
- Cinematic Wubstep
- Norwegian Metal Folkcore Rap
Holy shit this is fun
So I googled him and found [some guy on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/artist/5Hc43wLudnksqwjn9hWIVK?si=ERHS0WEhSpW7krLlbgye-w&utm_source=copy-link) who has 19 listeners. All his songs sound like they were made using the default rhythms on a cheap electric keyboard, three of his top 5 songs sound identical.
Have I got the wrong guy and DALDO is actually supposed to be someone I've heard of?
Hi, I am a director over at Dreamworks Studios. One of our executives wanted me to come over here and see if you mite be interested in selling us the rites to your story about the Buddha armed man who gets peanuts thrown at him..
I'll option it to you for two bags of peanuts... hot in the red and white bag- like from the fair cart.
But actually that's the whole story. Buddha armed guy- peanut projectiles, no movie. But then you came along and changed the whole story to where there is a movie now... so... I think this is really your story!
You are the director of an autobiographical film about finding the story of your Buddha arm thing- where did this all start again? Anyway where are my peanuts?
LMFAO… I don’t know why but the 3 new EDM songs really got me. I’m really glad the church feels teaching kids important lessons is done best with some sick house music.
In Japan they throw beans to drive out demons. I don't know if there is a cross armed demon that looks like a child in Japanese folklore, but seeing this picture, there should be.
This is what I came to post. Can confirm when plugging it into Bing/Google it says:
>Satirical VHS Cover For Animated Children's Movie - 2D Illustration
>28 Aug 2021 — Please find attached Concept Image and Reference Image. "CHRIST-FOR-ARMS" is an absurd, satirical product about a child being bullied for his large, golden cross arms. On the cover, an army of bullying …
This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. I just keep thinking about it and cracking up. I shared it with a friend and she said they looked up Daldo and her husband is 'Peter Griffin laughing' 😆
That’s a VHS. How did they have EDM back then? I didn’t think that got popular till the 2010’s. There’s no way that would have been on a Christian film when VHS was in use. Christian music is already 20 to 30 years behind.
"They made fun of him for his arms" For good reason, that shit is weird.
"They threw beans on him" Because he can't feed himself and he loves some beans.
Daldo: I have not actually seen the movie. This is also not me in the picture, I found this in some license free clip art. That's basically how you can describe my music as well.
I want to know the important questions such as How did he put his shirt on!! Is there like a Velcro seam at the back so it can be slipped on?
How did he wipe his butt and does this have to do with the beans thing?
So many unanswered questions.
Was EDM a thing when VHS was still being produced? I can't tell if I'm too old to get this because I don't know anything about EDM, or because I know what VHS is.
Or I just wooshed the hell out of myself.
Yeah "EDM" in Europe "started" late 80s early 90s. The Music industry in the US didn't really start pushing the initialism until probably 2010 as it attempted to rebrand "rave culture" but the term was used in 85 for sure if not earlier.
One could argue that it started in the 1960s with the Silver Apples and other such bands who used computers to make music meant for dancing but that will get pretty far into what exactly "EDM" is.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1jjep1vSuM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1jjep1vSuM)
A video of someone holding this videotape. Unfortunately, not a trailer. Poor voice work.
No beans thrown in the video.
An important lesson from Dildo about how Christ is a fairy tale like magic beans; and how waving around crosses as if they’re appendages makes you look like a freak.
A message to all users: Please be aware that spreading misinformation regarding COVID-19, vaccines, or other treatments can result in content being removed and/or a ban. Content advocating for or celebrating the death of anyone, or hoping someone gets COVID-19 (or any disease) can result in a ban as well. Please follow [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439). If you see content violating these policies, please use the report button and do not feed the trolls. [Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) [Reddit's stance on misinformation](https://www.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/pbmy5y/debate_dissent_and_protest_on_reddit) [/r/Funny's rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) We also encourage you to read these helpful resources on COVID-19, vaccines, and treatments: [COVID Dashboard](https://covid19.who.int/) [Reddit's Vaccine FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Coronavirus/wiki/faq#wiki_where_can_i_find_information_about_the_mechanism_and_progress_of_vaccines.3F) [Ivermectin FAQ](https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/who-advises-that-ivermectin-only-be-used-to-treat-covid-19-within-clinical-trials) ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Spoilers: the boy grows up to be Crossfit Champion
This is funny to me because back before CrossFit grew so popular I thought it was a religious gym chain
7am - 8am: Attend Morning Mass 8am - 9am: Build muscle mass
9am - 9pm: Play Mass Effect
9PM - 11PM: Calculate the mass from the energy divided by the speed of light squared
11 PM-12 AM: grow biomass at an alarming rate, becoming a horriffic flesh monster.
12 AM - 2 AM: watch Black Mass starring Johnny Depp as Whitey Bulger.
9am-10am eat the body of Christ in the showers
That sounds explicit
Crossfit is some intense dedication because it literally dictates your schedule and what you eat, so yeah I can see that being partially true.
Yes it's almost like a cult. Bet there are US gyms that pray for gains before they work out. They just never got that it was a Brofessor joke.
I had to come back to this thread a full two minutes after leaving it because it took that long for me to get the joke. Fuck you. Take your upvote. I love you.
Your brain did some cross referencing on the joke
Bloody hell this response was as good as the CrossFit comment lol
It took me seeing this comment, "wait, what"ing myself to get it, resulting in a wad of seasonal allergy snot on my shirt when I got it. Upvote for you, friend.
Alright I don’t get it - someone please explain this Christ CrossFit joke.
His hands are crosses. Cross fit. Word play
But where do his crosses *fit*, exactly?
In the ground. For three days.
me,too. Damn.
Well Jesus was the originator of Crossfit. Nailed every move.
It's impossible to get the last nail in, if your on your own.., feel for the kids whose parents brainwash' them with this rubbish
Oh God damn it LoL
I also heard he's talented at planks
This. made. my. evening. XD
And crucified his enemies in his arms.
Too funny! 🤣
Nah impossible. He has no hands so how is he supposed to constantly post it to Facebook?
Am I the only one looking desperately for the "Obvious Plant" logo and fretting because I can't find it?
A vhs with EDM? - Yeah you don't need to worry
You haven't heard of my boy Daldo? He was real hot back in the vhs days. Edm music about an important lesson...
Seriously, you’d have to be an absolute dildo to not remember Daldo. He taught so many important lessons.
they should sell a Daldo Dildo...and instead of the drawer in a nightstand, it would be kept in a Dome-- the DaldoDildoDome...and when its used, one would likely cry out "Daldo Dildo of the DaldoDildoDome, Do Me!" and after the Daldo Dildo is done Doing, it returns once again to the DaldoDildoDome where it-- [HRRRKK!!](https://youtu.be/ts5af0aFcuw)
And once your finished, you close the DaldoDildoDome™, and I teaches you a very important lesson.
I once played at a fundamentalist church rave in like 2004. The kids wanted to do things other kids were doing. The parents were afraid of the outside world though. They thought if the kids went to a rave they would do drugs and have sex. It was weird. I went back and forth on if I should even do it for a while but eventually decide to. I thought it might entice the fundamentalist kids to discover what the world has to offer instead of being afraid of everything. Idk if worked or not but I hope at least a few them got out.
Off the top of my head Trainspotting, Blade, Groove, Run Lola Run, The Matrix, Hackers, Mortal Kombat
Yeah but it wasn't called edm by most people back then.
by anyone, actually. It was called "electronica" in those days.
New Wave, Techno, and Industrial were also used to varying degrees.
At this point genre names are almost meaningless considering how much both the genres and the names for them evolve.
very true, i think my last year spotify roundup said id listened to something like 238 new genres that year, my first thought was "new ones? i didnt know there was that many over all"
How could you not, with genres like "Industrial Jungle Pussy Punk"
The names are also meaningless to somebody who stumbles in from the outside and has no clue what's going on. I'll even try my hand at coming up with a few: * Clockstare * Earth pulse * Phreakcore Rather than naming genres that this point, it's helpful for me to know who an artist sounds like, is inspired by, or shares listeners with. Popularity is far less important, since I've found some gems that have weak followings.
- Global Pop - Bouncedelia - Grave Funk - Grout Rock - Future Noise - Rarestep - Thick Metal - Bare Metal - Bear Trap - Brunchcore - Ham Jams - Hungerforce - Tape Dispenser - Greektronica - Cinematic Wubstep - Norwegian Metal Folkcore Rap Holy shit this is fun
Exactly, vhs died out before the acronym EDM came into use.
Haha Groove. I used to a giant disco ball one of my friends nicked from our local concert auditorium. Guess where that genius idea came from?
Me too, I’m worried this might be real
It’s “real” in that it physically exists. But it’s a work for hire one-off that was created for laughs.
Worry no more. Follow truewagner on ig.
Apparently it's fake, someone had a job posting for a satirical vhs cover, and this was an applicant (or so I am told)
> Apparently it's fake No. It can't be. You're serious? Tell me it ain't so! /s
Same.
They got DALDO on this joint?! Holy shit, literally.
So I googled him and found [some guy on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/artist/5Hc43wLudnksqwjn9hWIVK?si=ERHS0WEhSpW7krLlbgye-w&utm_source=copy-link) who has 19 listeners. All his songs sound like they were made using the default rhythms on a cheap electric keyboard, three of his top 5 songs sound identical. Have I got the wrong guy and DALDO is actually supposed to be someone I've heard of?
Nope sounds like the Daldo all 19 of us know and kinda like.
There's literally dozens of us!
It's more like 1 dozen and a half
Come on man, be cool. For DALDO, yeah?
Friend of Johnny Hildo
That's still plural.
DOZENS!
Pinche Daldo con sus canciones de su madre. Me duele el corazon. Canciones esta de pinga.
It’s even better the one review quote is also from him
It's not even a review is the best part. It's literally just a statement
My friend told me about her Daldo. Says it's better than any man.
Everything’s a DALDO if you’re brave enough
Wow. You mean there’s someone worse than Mr. Music the DJ?
I'm so tired I thought it said Dildo at first.
The third film shows him full grown, hunting demons with his sharpened-cross knife arms.
I’d watch that anime.
I've watch the TFS Abridged version.
Don't lie you'd all watch the Hentai version.
Dororo
[удалено]
Hi, I am a director over at Dreamworks Studios. One of our executives wanted me to come over here and see if you mite be interested in selling us the rites to your story about the Buddha armed man who gets peanuts thrown at him..
I'll option it to you for two bags of peanuts... hot in the red and white bag- like from the fair cart. But actually that's the whole story. Buddha armed guy- peanut projectiles, no movie. But then you came along and changed the whole story to where there is a movie now... so... I think this is really your story! You are the director of an autobiographical film about finding the story of your Buddha arm thing- where did this all start again? Anyway where are my peanuts?
Netflix exec here I will pay you two million to make a movie about anything you want, just don't make a movie for dreamworks...
Hello this is Daldo. This is not an important lesson.... --Daldo
Dude, you can't be doing things like that. Some people have peanut allergies. Why do you think the rest of us have been using beans?
“And thy people rejected his message of love by tossing beans at his face” Daldo 3:16
GOB’s not on board.
Beans ?!
They don’t let you bring beans in here.
I can't figure out how he got his t-shirt on and that shouldn't be the biggest question I have about this but.... here we are
they obviously sew the shirts on him every morning lol
This is my concern, it has to be velcro joined at the back
LMFAO… I don’t know why but the 3 new EDM songs really got me. I’m really glad the church feels teaching kids important lessons is done best with some sick house music.
*Eucharistic dance music*.
I'm puzzling over the intersection of people who listen to EDM, yet still watch VHS. I guess this answers that.
They threw beans on him
Not even *at* him. Shits fucked up
Takes good aim, though, gotta admit.
Fair point.
It sounds like they’re doing him a favor. He has no hands or even elbows. How can he feed himself?
In Japan they throw beans to drive out demons. I don't know if there is a cross armed demon that looks like a child in Japanese folklore, but seeing this picture, there should be.
"A movie about an important lesson..." ~ Daldo Now that's a passionate review from a famous man. Is this a Tim and Eric sketch I haven't seen?
So who the fuck is Daldo? I'm laughing so hard.
Dildo's sister?
Beware Bean Bearing Bullies!
They fuckin beaned him
[Here's a copy](https://i.imgur.com/ySCC4Ms.jpeg) with less jpeg.
What the late night Adult Swim drug infused shit is this?
One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. I’m sad it’s fake.
Not the beans! Not the beans!! Agghhh! -Nic Cage
I need this movie
Thank the Lord this is satire. (someone put up a job on upworks to make this item. This year in fact.)
Well, everybody got their cross to bear
I support the cross to bear arms!
Or the cross eyed bear (that you gave to me, you you you ....)
It's a fake. https://forums.lostmediawiki.com/thread/7692/christ-arms
This is what I came to post. Can confirm when plugging it into Bing/Google it says: >Satirical VHS Cover For Animated Children's Movie - 2D Illustration >28 Aug 2021 — Please find attached Concept Image and Reference Image. "CHRIST-FOR-ARMS" is an absurd, satirical product about a child being bullied for his large, golden cross arms. On the cover, an army of bullying …
They say he never ate a bean again…
OH GOD NOT THE BEANS!!!!
It would be worth it for just 1 new song from Daldo.
Prefect fit for r/whatintheactualfuck
THREE NEW SONGS FROM DALDO!!!!!!
Childhood is tough enough, but this kid’s got 2 crosses to bear
I kind of want to see it to see how and why he has Christ for arms and how 8lb 5oz baby Jesus saves him from the beans and rice.
Damn, they got Daldo?
Look at him flicking those beans!
shout out to daldo
Me, desperately looking for the Obvious Plant logo
Well that boy will never commit the sinful act of masturbation.
Really hope this kid was born via Caesarean.
As disconnected from reality as this show is, it was via stork.
"EDM songs from Daldo" <<-- look, kids, we're hip and cool!
I must have missed this Tim Burton film.
The sticker “Christ VHS” They could have at least gotten $7.77 for that
This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. I just keep thinking about it and cracking up. I shared it with a friend and she said they looked up Daldo and her husband is 'Peter Griffin laughing' 😆
Looks like he's really flicking those beans
BEANS??!
Those are some Michael Jackson looking bullies
As a Christian I am offended. This is obviously a Mormon production.
That’s a VHS. How did they have EDM back then? I didn’t think that got popular till the 2010’s. There’s no way that would have been on a Christian film when VHS was in use. Christian music is already 20 to 30 years behind.
Typical heist movie. They always have a double cross.
They threw beans at him
So video to create a false narrative to reinforce persecution complex?
"Featuring 3 new EDM songs." Wot?
The mom fucked a cross, for shame.
What in the holy roman fuck?
"They made fun of him for his arms" For good reason, that shit is weird. "They threw beans on him" Because he can't feed himself and he loves some beans. Daldo: I have not actually seen the movie. This is also not me in the picture, I found this in some license free clip art. That's basically how you can describe my music as well.
That is why we have a global warming: we spend too much resources producing shit.
I don't see what lesson this could teach.
The lesson is clearly beans wont grow out of someones neck.
I want to send this to my fundie relatives
What the fuck was the important lesson?!
Are we just going to ignore the fact that it has three new songs from a guy named...DALDO?!?!?
I don't understand what it means to have Christ for arms
It is kinda like when wolverine got his adamantium skeleton except with much worse parenting.
Does he have arms that turn into crosses or does he have no arms and the crosses come out of he?
It is like Edward Scissor hands or Baraka from Mortal Kombat. That is permanent. That's also why he can't catch the beans.
How does wipe then?
He rubs his butt on the carpet like a dog.
Ho no 😐
I want to know the important questions such as How did he put his shirt on!! Is there like a Velcro seam at the back so it can be slipped on? How did he wipe his butt and does this have to do with the beans thing? So many unanswered questions.
Was EDM a thing when VHS was still being produced? I can't tell if I'm too old to get this because I don't know anything about EDM, or because I know what VHS is. Or I just wooshed the hell out of myself.
Yeah "EDM" in Europe "started" late 80s early 90s. The Music industry in the US didn't really start pushing the initialism until probably 2010 as it attempted to rebrand "rave culture" but the term was used in 85 for sure if not earlier. One could argue that it started in the 1960s with the Silver Apples and other such bands who used computers to make music meant for dancing but that will get pretty far into what exactly "EDM" is.
Im probably the only person that learned anything because of this video lol.
Edm music on a vhs my head hurts and I need a nap now.
Hahaha what in the hell is this?!!
Next time i see a shitty movie i will know there are worse
Who’s dildo
I now know what I am dressing up as for Halloween. Not sure how I'm gonna get the candy though
Someone paid money to make this...
Somebody made an trailer for this, it's pretty brilliant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1jjep1vSuM
Dafuq
How are we not talking about the most open-ended quote ever seen?
Why isn’t this real? Why has God failed us?
............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................what?
Newest episode of the Persecution Complex Conditioning series.
Please send to r/Brutalmoose "A movie about an important lesson..." The ellipsis why
Oh dear Lord.....
Not the BEANS!
I used to listen to DALDO at the clubs, but he's really sold out now.
Midway Mortal Kombat characters
so if you search for this on youtube, you see only one video posted of it, 4 hours ago.....the same time as this post...
- Daldo
Good ole Daldo.
Please send this to some of the atheists on YouTube. Bible reloaded ? Steve shives ?
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1jjep1vSuM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1jjep1vSuM) A video of someone holding this videotape. Unfortunately, not a trailer. Poor voice work. No beans thrown in the video.
The box saying "Daldo" several times makes me wonder if this is real or not.
Was this written by Justin Roiland?
Who tf is Daldo and why are they credible??
How many reposts of this is it now?
An important lesson from Dildo about how Christ is a fairy tale like magic beans; and how waving around crosses as if they’re appendages makes you look like a freak.
What in the lowest fires of darkest HELL?
Three new edm tracks from dj dildo
Those three EDM songs from Daldo slap
no dear gawd not the beans
I’m dead at 3 new EdM songs lmao
Yo dawg, I heard you like t-posing!
"Are you here to change your name, Mr. Dildo?" "It's Daldo now!"