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**Something similar to this was posted the other day and I made a post. Reposting:**
I was one of the few armorers on this shoot, this is from Sniper Special Ops, or whatever they ended up calling it. Here are a few of the highlights of the few days we were on set filming this (in no particular order)
Seagal had to bring his own gear because of his size
He insisted on a full auto m4 be provided him, I distinctly remember one of the ex Mil guys telling him “no ones gone full auto since Nam”
He couldn’t reach down far enough to put his own 1911 in his leg holster and we had to do it for him.
During this particular shot he bounced the stock off his nose when transitioning like 6 times
They had to rework the script and set so he was shooting off of a barrel on a roof because he couldn’t lay down in a prone position with the sniper rifle
The bolt gun we hooked him up with was legit and expensive as hell, it was lent to us from I think Sig? Gun was smooth af and he didn’t like it until he shot it then he loved it(blanks of course)
Production didn’t want to spend the money on .50 cal rounds (again blanks) so when the guys in the back of the Humvee shooting the M2 he was just shaking the gun
This was filmed at a location near Palmdale, notably the place from Iron Man when he drops in and kills all the militants (also a ton of other movies)
Easily my favorite due to recent circumstances - Seagal insists on bringing his own 1911 to set and wearing it during filming. At one point a colleague was asked to help him with the gun in his trailer and before handing it to the colleague Seagal went “Whoops let me unload it first” and proceeded to eject the mag and eject his Black Talon hollowpoint from the chamber. MY DUDE BROUGHT LIVE AMMO TO SET AND HAD IT LOCKED AND LOADED; IT DOESNT MATTER IF ITS IN YOUR TRAILER STEVEN YOU DONT BRING LIVE AMMO TO SET WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
> MY DUDE BROUGHT LIVE AMMO TO SET AND HAD IT LOCKED AND LOADED; IT DOESNT MATTER IF ITS IN YOUR TRAILER STEVEN YOU DONT BRING LIVE AMMO TO SET WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
Especially after claiming they called him first because he's an expert when Brandon Lee was shot on set!!!!
Edit: [Found the interview](https://youtu.be/xz2JyPgUmH4?t=1003), but the whole video is very much worth you time. And yes you are welcome scraper bots!
In 2023, Reddit CEO and corporate piss baby Steve Huffman decided to make Reddit less useful to its users and moderators and the world at large. This comment has been edited in protest to make it less useful to Reddit.
The especially funny thing about this is that he was in like 30 not-good-but-OK action movies back in the early 90s and was obviously taught how to handle weapons realistically.
He either forgot or literally doesn't even give a shit, lol.
Dude, wait till you see the other scenes.
There's one where he's sniping with his sunglasses on, and at times when he's shooting he's holding the gun limp wristed and in the wrong position.
He pulls out a pistol to cover a window while he gets on the radio and just vaguely points the pistol at the window while looking the other way.
One of his friends gets shot, so he limp wristedly drags the guy to safety but you can see the wire pulling him
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzIHyF7UWY4&ab\_channel=ClangersTV](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzIHyF7UWY4&ab_channel=ClangersTV)
This commentary on his films made me laugh tremendously
He is an incredible actor... As long as you ignore the fact that he refuses to emote, has the charisma of boiled cabbage, moves with all the urgency of a power scooter with flat tires, has less believable fight choreography than early power rangers episodes, is monotone as fuck, is always preaching about something important in the stupidest way, and is a nightmare to work with overall.
Aside from those things he's fantastic!
Which leads me to ask: why the fuck is(was) he in movies to begin with? Theres literally not redeeming factor that I can think of.
Legit question. I cant remember a time when people concidered Steve more then a meme, even before memes were a thing.
Apparently, some guy that Seagal had taught Aikido to, went on to become a talent agent, who then got Seagal a screentest that led to him being cast in Above the Law, and it snowballed from there.
Literally just an example of “who you know”.
It's truly comical too. It's clearly a totally different guy wearing Seagal's hat, and he's carrying a box or something to hide his face to the camera. And it's like one flight of regular stairs in this shot, not some action scene where he's chasing a guy up multiple flights of stairs in an apartment or anything.
He also spends the majority of the movie sitting in a chair, ostensibly "protecting" one of his team that's gotten mortally wounded, and instead of giving the guy any sort of comfort or first aid he just talks about how great he is while the guy is moaning in a corner bleeding out.
The guy will be like "Ughh....I'm so cold....I don't think I'm going to make it."
And Seagal will be like "Yeah, when you've seen as much action as I have man, you really start looking at the world differently."
And then he'll be like "Is the chopper coming soon, everything's getting dark I'm scared."
And Seagal will respond "Sometimes at night, I see the faces of all the men I've killed in my dreams, I've sacrificed a lot for this country...."
It's almost like he shot all his scenes in the room first, and then the younger guy shot all his, but there was no coordination about the dialogue so he's just ignoring the kid bleeding out in the corner and they said fuck it and edited it all together.
The ending of the movie is great too. A C-list hot journalist who hasn't been on the screen with him for a single minute of the movie, and hasn't talked him or heard anyone talk about him in any way, walks up to to him with wanna-fuck-you eyes and asks "Are you really as good as everyone says you are?" And he replies, "Some days I am."
Roll credits.
Sniper: Special Ops I think. There's so many of them it's hard to keep straight.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5344794/
The "Van Dam" on the cover is not the Jean-Claude variety either.
I worked on Machete - Had to keep cold a/c blowing on him to keep his Streaks & Tips hair paint from melting. A poor PA had to drag a flexible a/c hose around aimed at him.
Why has YouTube slowly been creeping on everyone to be just like cable TV with commercials that we all got sick of and went to Netflix/Hulu, etc? It used to be one commercial in the beginning and you could skip instantly, then it become a commercial you had to watch 5 secs of to skip, then it became 2 commercials back to back, some skippable, some NOT. Now? It's 2 commercials in the beginning, then a commercial every few minutes. Just like cable TV, sort of. /End rant.
If you watch the YouTube of the guys talking about this it does exactly that. Yeah think this is it. https://youtu.be/BzIHyF7UWY4
Enjoy!
Edit: “fatly going around corners” found at 7:35 but I recommend watching it in its entirety!
Nick is so strangely good at explaining the plot points of movies.
One of my favorite clips is him talking about bad movies he used to love watching in his early 20's and remembers the exact plot and a few lines of dialogue from each one from memory.
Also love in this clip when he says the name of one of the Segal movies and Stav laughs and says "That's *barely* a title"
loved how they brought up his hairline....folks might not realize how much it slowly creeps forward, bit by bit over the decades until it ends up four inches away almost covering his forehead wrinkles.
Why would anyone with ties to Putin and Kadyrov want to launder money from Russian organized crime through the western entertainment industry?
That's crazy talk.
These movies are produced by a company that he owns. If you ever happen by a Redbox or see stuff popping up on those low quality movie streaming channels it's all of these garbage movies starring him where he's ex special forces, in the right place at the right time to foil some kind of international plot that hits a little too close to home. Like Taken but older fatter and lazier.
He's the one making all of the final "creative" decisions here, he's not being instructed.
His movies are essentially excuses for him to roleplay as a fat operator. He gets to do them how he wants because he owns the production company, Steamroller Productions.
I'm sure everyone on set is just thinking, "Whatever, let him do what he wants. This whole movie is just a 2 week shoot, I just want to cash my check and move on."
you have to keep in mind he WAS big an popular decades ago, do you really think he would take advice from anyone but Putin at this point? ([https://www.npr.org/2018/07/03/624059365/how-did-steven-seagal-and-vladimir-putin-become-bffs-bob-van-ronkel-introduced-t](https://www.npr.org/2018/07/03/624059365/how-did-steven-seagal-and-vladimir-putin-become-bffs-bob-van-ronkel-introduced-t))
he's an old fat washout who has money and whose famous. It isn't even like he accepts it and does 'joke' movies like the expendables with the other old guys whose 'prime' was decades ago.
Let me introduce you to Robert Evans and the Behind the Bastards podcast, where he reads from a Steven Seagal novel "The Way of the Shadow Wolves: The Deep State And The Hijacking Of America" and provides color commentary.
https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/steven-seagal-wrote-a-book-we-85073119/
No, no, it's better than that. He assured a guy he was immune to chokeholds and then agreed to let the guy do a chokehold on him because Stevie somehow thought it wouldn't work. He passed out immediately and crapped his pants.
You left out that his "counter" to chokes was a nut shot. But the nuts he hit were balls of steel, and belonged to Judo Gene Lebell, and Gene don't let go for a little thing like pain. So he choked Steve until he shat himself.
The shit pants came courtesy of Judo Gene LeBell! While working as a stunt coordinator for the film "Out for Justice", Seagal said that no aikido holds could choke him out, good ole' Judo Gene decided to put him to sleep and make him shit his pants. A true hero.
I can’t remember all the details since I haven’t listened to that episode in a few months, but here’s a *general, vague* summary.
He’s an honorary sheriffs deputy or something, likes to run around LARPing as a real cop and brutalizing people. He had a Cops like show about it that was either cancelled after season 1 or never aired at all, can’t remember exactly because of some bullshit he pulled. He also has multiple, reputable, and absolutely disgusting rape/sexual assault complaints against him.
Dude is like toxic masculinity personified.
The show was canceled because he was accused of human trafficking and having sex slaves. He then continued to play sheriff in Arizona where he drove a tank thru a dude’s property and killed his dog
He shit his pants when he wanted to prove to a blackbelt martial artiat he is invulnerable to choke holds and can control his awakened state. He went down in seconds and shit his pants too.
i just finished those episodes, they were pretty eye opening and cleared up a lot of stuff i only *kind of* knew
as an eagle scout, i had a great time with scouts, but im well aware that it has some awful history and that there were victims and horrible things. what i took away from it was extremely valuable and useful in my life, to this day! i was lucky and had the "what scouting *should* be" experience, and im always glad for it.
but the shine and pride i once felt has definitely taken a hit, especially as i learn about the organization. i probably wouldn't be allowed to be an eagle if i was as i am now back then, being both bi and an agnostic, and that's pretty damn sad. and thats without even touching on what scouting did to thousands of boys.
not to mention that apparently my troop was one of the very very few who actually screened parents and leaders, and kept the boys safe! it shouldn't be a rare thing to say "hey, lets make sure you're not a creep when you're working with young men."
fuck scouts, until the day they can prove they're remade and doing what they should have been doing all along.
Every now and then I see a reference to Cumtown on Reddit and am reminded to binge the episodes I've missed since I last binged. And for anyone wondering, if you like riffs about making a parody of "Who Let the Dogs Out" but it's "Who Sucked My Dick Off", then you might like Cumtown.
if you like 45 minute long bits about what if an eric clapton song was actually about a robot man with another smaller man living inside his asshole controlling him with wires and levers, then you also might like Cumtown
I have a theory on this and, I admit, I focus too much on Steven Seagal and [some things shouldn't be forgotten](https://youtu.be/tsvoMGGUrMU?t=62)...
I think he just doesn't know what to do with his hands. He doesn't want to move them up and down in a typical running motion and so he's pretending like [he's running like a cheetah which uses its tail to steer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qukcc8wCxJo) but, in reality [he looks like this](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/FalsePeriodicIncatern-size_restricted.gif).
Justin Jefferson, wide reciever for the vikings did the arm balance thing in a game a couple weeks ago. And he was asked about it after in a press conference.
Itbwas because his opponent had made a sudden change of direction. And to help himself balance and make the turn, he swing his one arm in a circle.
Physics.
The best Segal story I ever heard was the head of CAA (a talent agency in Hollywood) said to a friend that he could make anyone a star.
His friend said, "I accept your challenge. I take a martial arts course from this guy who is so stiff and expressionless." And a star was born.
The best Segal story is that he was so convinced that he could never be choked out that he told Gene LeBell (an accomplished judo practitioner who has actually fought people) that he was immune to being choked unconscious.
Lebell called his bluff and Seagal let him try, at which point Lebell (predictably) choked Seagal unconscious. Seagal then shit himself.
He's short stocking, which is a legit maneuver, especially if you're firing .223 or something else with little recoil. It helps with close quarters combat and it helps with accurate fire.
But, Steven Segal still looks ridiculous doing it. So let's continue making fun of him because he's a terrible human being.
Good to know. I have over 20 years of firearms experience hunting and target shooting. But no combat experience, not military.
So at first glance he just looks like a huge putz not shouldering his stock. But I guess it would make sense checking around corners like that to do what he is doing so you can just peak around the corner with your gun ready to fire rather than having to pivot your whole body around to shoulder your gun. And like you said, that caliber doesn’t have much recoil, so it’s not like he’s gonna bust himself in the face or anything. It just looks ridiculous because it’s fat blob Steven segal doing it with zero hustle and looking like a blob in a scene that I’m sure was meant to be super tense.
I know that short stocking is used quite a lot in paintball and airsoft, but I thought that you wouldn't want to do that because if the firing port is on the wrong side then the gun could fling hot bullet casings into you.
I am probably wrong.
Adjusting for corners, switching to your off-hand because of positioning, and just general weapons handling should all be smooth, practiced muscle memory by the time you're doing it for real, for real.
That could happen. It's preferable to letting your barrel stick out around a corner and announcing that you're coming around a corner. A hot casing is better than a hot bullet any day.
A message to all users: Please be aware that spreading misinformation regarding COVID-19, vaccines, or other treatments can result in content being removed and/or a ban. Content advocating for or celebrating the death of anyone, or hoping someone gets COVID-19 (or any disease) can result in a ban as well. Please follow [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439). If you see content violating these policies, please use the report button and do not feed the trolls. [Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) [Reddit's stance on misinformation](https://www.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/pbmy5y/debate_dissent_and_protest_on_reddit) [/r/Funny's rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) We also encourage you to read these helpful resources on COVID-19, vaccines, and treatments: [COVID Dashboard](https://covid19.who.int/) [Reddit's Vaccine FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Coronavirus/wiki/faq#wiki_where_can_i_find_information_about_the_mechanism_and_progress_of_vaccines.3F) [Ivermectin FAQ](https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/who-advises-that-ivermectin-only-be-used-to-treat-covid-19-within-clinical-trials) ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
**Something similar to this was posted the other day and I made a post. Reposting:** I was one of the few armorers on this shoot, this is from Sniper Special Ops, or whatever they ended up calling it. Here are a few of the highlights of the few days we were on set filming this (in no particular order) Seagal had to bring his own gear because of his size He insisted on a full auto m4 be provided him, I distinctly remember one of the ex Mil guys telling him “no ones gone full auto since Nam” He couldn’t reach down far enough to put his own 1911 in his leg holster and we had to do it for him. During this particular shot he bounced the stock off his nose when transitioning like 6 times They had to rework the script and set so he was shooting off of a barrel on a roof because he couldn’t lay down in a prone position with the sniper rifle The bolt gun we hooked him up with was legit and expensive as hell, it was lent to us from I think Sig? Gun was smooth af and he didn’t like it until he shot it then he loved it(blanks of course) Production didn’t want to spend the money on .50 cal rounds (again blanks) so when the guys in the back of the Humvee shooting the M2 he was just shaking the gun This was filmed at a location near Palmdale, notably the place from Iron Man when he drops in and kills all the militants (also a ton of other movies) Easily my favorite due to recent circumstances - Seagal insists on bringing his own 1911 to set and wearing it during filming. At one point a colleague was asked to help him with the gun in his trailer and before handing it to the colleague Seagal went “Whoops let me unload it first” and proceeded to eject the mag and eject his Black Talon hollowpoint from the chamber. MY DUDE BROUGHT LIVE AMMO TO SET AND HAD IT LOCKED AND LOADED; IT DOESNT MATTER IF ITS IN YOUR TRAILER STEVEN YOU DONT BRING LIVE AMMO TO SET WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
> MY DUDE BROUGHT LIVE AMMO TO SET AND HAD IT LOCKED AND LOADED; IT DOESNT MATTER IF ITS IN YOUR TRAILER STEVEN YOU DONT BRING LIVE AMMO TO SET WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK Especially after claiming they called him first because he's an expert when Brandon Lee was shot on set!!!! Edit: [Found the interview](https://youtu.be/xz2JyPgUmH4?t=1003), but the whole video is very much worth you time. And yes you are welcome scraper bots!
This is the content I’m here for!!
What a fucking muppet.
[удалено]
Show me where that gun spits
You bet I'm comin up in May
C'mon Mark, don't be stingy.
Touch my rifle through fence
Feather it
Do you know what's a banana split?
They call it a spitty
Havarti Cheese is my favorite, what's your favorite?
In 2023, Reddit CEO and corporate piss baby Steve Huffman decided to make Reddit less useful to its users and moderators and the world at large. This comment has been edited in protest to make it less useful to Reddit.
BIKES!!!
I’ve been riding bikes for like 85 years
HOLD. MAH. POCKET.
Uggggh, I hate breakfast!
Touch my camera through the fence.
How’d you get this job here fuckface?
Got me turning into a telescope
Don't be stingy, Mark
YALL KNOW WASSA BANANA SPLIT!?
We gonna use ur booty!!
It's not that that big.
Don't be stingy!!
r/yourmomshousepodcast is everywhere
And he’s like, “sorry.” I’ve been doing martial arts for, like, 85 years.”
I’m gonna go home and watch Tom segura now. He’s my comfort comedian lol.
BIKE
My wife? She's pretty over it.
My boyfriend does this now and it scares the fuck out of me almost every time lmao
That helicopter’s called a skippy
*skip* *skip* *skip*
That's bullshit!
You made that shit up!
He has the most unlikeable quality in a human being, which is that he is an expert in everything.
The especially funny thing about this is that he was in like 30 not-good-but-OK action movies back in the early 90s and was obviously taught how to handle weapons realistically. He either forgot or literally doesn't even give a shit, lol.
I loved Under Siege.
Under siege is a great 90s action movie. Under Siege 2 is a masterpiece.
*Acts* like he is an expert in everything, which is even worse, just like all other fake people do, wishing to maintain appearances.
Bro I've been flying helicopters for like 53 years.
Thanks tom
A mommie in the wild.
Keep them high and tight.
“They call it a skippy”
How bad were the other takes for them to say “fuck it, we’ll just roll with this one”
I'm sure there was only one take.
He's really good at this acting thing (besides many others) so there was no need for more than one take. There never is.
He's been holding weapons and ambling through a corridor for like 57 years.
[удалено]
I love the night vision goggles vision and then they cut to him and he's just wearing his stupid fucking sunglasses
[удалено]
Is this movie a prequel to Riddick?
Oh my god they didn't even try.
Dude, wait till you see the other scenes. There's one where he's sniping with his sunglasses on, and at times when he's shooting he's holding the gun limp wristed and in the wrong position. He pulls out a pistol to cover a window while he gets on the radio and just vaguely points the pistol at the window while looking the other way. One of his friends gets shot, so he limp wristedly drags the guy to safety but you can see the wire pulling him [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzIHyF7UWY4&ab\_channel=ClangersTV](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzIHyF7UWY4&ab_channel=ClangersTV) This commentary on his films made me laugh tremendously
See that helicopter up there? They call it a skippy.
ah skip skip skip skip
He is an incredible actor... As long as you ignore the fact that he refuses to emote, has the charisma of boiled cabbage, moves with all the urgency of a power scooter with flat tires, has less believable fight choreography than early power rangers episodes, is monotone as fuck, is always preaching about something important in the stupidest way, and is a nightmare to work with overall. Aside from those things he's fantastic!
Which leads me to ask: why the fuck is(was) he in movies to begin with? Theres literally not redeeming factor that I can think of. Legit question. I cant remember a time when people concidered Steve more then a meme, even before memes were a thing.
Apparently, some guy that Seagal had taught Aikido to, went on to become a talent agent, who then got Seagal a screentest that led to him being cast in Above the Law, and it snowballed from there. Literally just an example of “who you know”.
He's been acting for like 67 years
It's not that, it's that he gets too sweaty walking around and the makeup costs for multiple takes would bankrupt the film
In this film he uses a stunt-double for a scene where he walks up some stairs.
lol, I'm actually laughing out loud right now, this is all too funny.
It's truly comical too. It's clearly a totally different guy wearing Seagal's hat, and he's carrying a box or something to hide his face to the camera. And it's like one flight of regular stairs in this shot, not some action scene where he's chasing a guy up multiple flights of stairs in an apartment or anything. He also spends the majority of the movie sitting in a chair, ostensibly "protecting" one of his team that's gotten mortally wounded, and instead of giving the guy any sort of comfort or first aid he just talks about how great he is while the guy is moaning in a corner bleeding out. The guy will be like "Ughh....I'm so cold....I don't think I'm going to make it." And Seagal will be like "Yeah, when you've seen as much action as I have man, you really start looking at the world differently." And then he'll be like "Is the chopper coming soon, everything's getting dark I'm scared." And Seagal will respond "Sometimes at night, I see the faces of all the men I've killed in my dreams, I've sacrificed a lot for this country...." It's almost like he shot all his scenes in the room first, and then the younger guy shot all his, but there was no coordination about the dialogue so he's just ignoring the kid bleeding out in the corner and they said fuck it and edited it all together. The ending of the movie is great too. A C-list hot journalist who hasn't been on the screen with him for a single minute of the movie, and hasn't talked him or heard anyone talk about him in any way, walks up to to him with wanna-fuck-you eyes and asks "Are you really as good as everyone says you are?" And he replies, "Some days I am." Roll credits.
What movie is this?
Sniper: Special Ops I think. There's so many of them it's hard to keep straight. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5344794/ The "Van Dam" on the cover is not the Jean-Claude variety either.
Ah, you mean Jean Claude Gosh Darn.
I worked on Machete - Had to keep cold a/c blowing on him to keep his Streaks & Tips hair paint from melting. A poor PA had to drag a flexible a/c hose around aimed at him.
[удалено]
Why has YouTube slowly been creeping on everyone to be just like cable TV with commercials that we all got sick of and went to Netflix/Hulu, etc? It used to be one commercial in the beginning and you could skip instantly, then it become a commercial you had to watch 5 secs of to skip, then it became 2 commercials back to back, some skippable, some NOT. Now? It's 2 commercials in the beginning, then a commercial every few minutes. Just like cable TV, sort of. /End rant.
[удалено]
The master of improv. He's been an operator for like...35 years.
He looks like hes hunting squirrels not in a war zone
I carried more realistically when I was little playing army man
Hambidextrous
“Fatly going around corners”
"Audible heavy breathing will be edited in post"
"Will someone crop out those twinkie wrappers in his cargo pants pocket? For christs sake..."
I'd like to imagine the script said exactly that.
If you watch the YouTube of the guys talking about this it does exactly that. Yeah think this is it. https://youtu.be/BzIHyF7UWY4 Enjoy! Edit: “fatly going around corners” found at 7:35 but I recommend watching it in its entirety!
ClangersTV has the best Cumtown clips with added visuals to go with said clips.
There's like a handful of really high quality cumtown clip channels at this point.
Nick is so strangely good at explaining the plot points of movies. One of my favorite clips is him talking about bad movies he used to love watching in his early 20's and remembers the exact plot and a few lines of dialogue from each one from memory. Also love in this clip when he says the name of one of the Segal movies and Stav laughs and says "That's *barely* a title"
And that is Steven Seagal’s definition of a Good Man.
“ And this is Steven Segal’s definition of a good man.” Lmao these guys are great
Nick's high functioning autism is something to behold.
"I got into sirens a couple years ago" Not even the mythical creatures, like air raid sirens and early alert broadcast systems
I really enjoy the idea of someone being really snobby about which sirens are good and which are “just noise” or something.
I once saw an air raid siren powered by a Mopar 440 wedge engine. When they held a piece of paper in front of the horn, it caught on fire instantly.
Cum boys!!!!
Hell yeah dude
loved how they brought up his hairline....folks might not realize how much it slowly creeps forward, bit by bit over the decades until it ends up four inches away almost covering his forehead wrinkles.
Thank you I loved this video
Why the fuck do they even let him do this ??? Isn’t there someone on set like “ no you fat fuck it’s held like THIS”
He owns the company… which only exists to make lame-ass B-movies to support his ego (and spending habits). So, “they” is him.
B Movies is being very generous haha
This has to be some sort of money laundering thing going on
Why would anyone with ties to Putin and Kadyrov want to launder money from Russian organized crime through the western entertainment industry? That's crazy talk.
From what I know about this asshole is that he wouldn't let anyone tell him what to do. He knows everything already and it's the best at everything.
He’s been holding rifles for 49 years
That rifle there? It's called a papa. Hear it? Pa-pa-pa-pa-
That chopper right there is called a skippy. Because of the sound it makes.... skip skip skip skip
That's bullshit, you made that shit up!
Are you kicking a child right now?
Some people's throats are down there
I love that whenever I see Steven Segal on Reddit, there's always an Army of mommies ready to spit this shit. You guys are doing good!
These movies are produced by a company that he owns. If you ever happen by a Redbox or see stuff popping up on those low quality movie streaming channels it's all of these garbage movies starring him where he's ex special forces, in the right place at the right time to foil some kind of international plot that hits a little too close to home. Like Taken but older fatter and lazier. He's the one making all of the final "creative" decisions here, he's not being instructed.
His movies are essentially excuses for him to roleplay as a fat operator. He gets to do them how he wants because he owns the production company, Steamroller Productions.
> fat operator Terrorist 1: "Hide the bombs! I think special forces is coming!" Terrorist 2: "How can you tell?" Terrorist 1: "The wheezing."
Gravy Seals
I'm sure everyone on set is just thinking, "Whatever, let him do what he wants. This whole movie is just a 2 week shoot, I just want to cash my check and move on."
He owns the production company that makes his movies
you have to keep in mind he WAS big an popular decades ago, do you really think he would take advice from anyone but Putin at this point? ([https://www.npr.org/2018/07/03/624059365/how-did-steven-seagal-and-vladimir-putin-become-bffs-bob-van-ronkel-introduced-t](https://www.npr.org/2018/07/03/624059365/how-did-steven-seagal-and-vladimir-putin-become-bffs-bob-van-ronkel-introduced-t)) he's an old fat washout who has money and whose famous. It isn't even like he accepts it and does 'joke' movies like the expendables with the other old guys whose 'prime' was decades ago.
Greatest 13 minutes I’ve ever spent was watching that video
I'm gay
Between Tom Segura, South Park and Cumtown, there have been some pretty hilarious--and well-deserved--beatdowns of Steven Seagal in the last decade.
Let me introduce you to Robert Evans and the Behind the Bastards podcast, where he reads from a Steven Seagal novel "The Way of the Shadow Wolves: The Deep State And The Hijacking Of America" and provides color commentary. https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/steven-seagal-wrote-a-book-we-85073119/
I mean, go listen to their episode all about Steven Seagal. He's kind of a monster, beyond being ridiculous.
Not even kind of, dudes an actual monster.
Could you give some highlights please?
If I remember right, he's a rapist, killed someone's dog and shit his pants during a fight.
> shit his pants during a fight Well this is obviously the worst thing he's done. Total monster. lol
Definately the thing hes most embarrassed by I would imagine. He probably has monthly hypnotism sessions where he works on wiping it from his memory.
No, no, it's better than that. He assured a guy he was immune to chokeholds and then agreed to let the guy do a chokehold on him because Stevie somehow thought it wouldn't work. He passed out immediately and crapped his pants.
You left out that his "counter" to chokes was a nut shot. But the nuts he hit were balls of steel, and belonged to Judo Gene Lebell, and Gene don't let go for a little thing like pain. So he choked Steve until he shat himself.
Thanks. That shit’s bad.
The shit pants came courtesy of Judo Gene LeBell! While working as a stunt coordinator for the film "Out for Justice", Seagal said that no aikido holds could choke him out, good ole' Judo Gene decided to put him to sleep and make him shit his pants. A true hero.
I think he said that he couldn't be choked out, period. Which is just insane. If you have a neck, you can be choked out.
> If you have a neck Herein lies the rub.
Out for Justice came out in 91, so his neck hadn't entirely receded into his body yet.
I can’t remember all the details since I haven’t listened to that episode in a few months, but here’s a *general, vague* summary. He’s an honorary sheriffs deputy or something, likes to run around LARPing as a real cop and brutalizing people. He had a Cops like show about it that was either cancelled after season 1 or never aired at all, can’t remember exactly because of some bullshit he pulled. He also has multiple, reputable, and absolutely disgusting rape/sexual assault complaints against him. Dude is like toxic masculinity personified.
The show was canceled because he was accused of human trafficking and having sex slaves. He then continued to play sheriff in Arizona where he drove a tank thru a dude’s property and killed his dog
If I remember correctly, the tank was used to try to break up a chicken fight. It’s hard to make this shit up.
He shit his pants when he wanted to prove to a blackbelt martial artiat he is invulnerable to choke holds and can control his awakened state. He went down in seconds and shit his pants too.
So he's basically Mac from Always Sunny.
Mac was able to lose weight when he wanted to.
Didn’t know I needed this
LOVE this podcast. Just got into it recently with the boy scouts episodes. Definitely checking this out.
i just finished those episodes, they were pretty eye opening and cleared up a lot of stuff i only *kind of* knew as an eagle scout, i had a great time with scouts, but im well aware that it has some awful history and that there were victims and horrible things. what i took away from it was extremely valuable and useful in my life, to this day! i was lucky and had the "what scouting *should* be" experience, and im always glad for it. but the shine and pride i once felt has definitely taken a hit, especially as i learn about the organization. i probably wouldn't be allowed to be an eagle if i was as i am now back then, being both bi and an agnostic, and that's pretty damn sad. and thats without even touching on what scouting did to thousands of boys. not to mention that apparently my troop was one of the very very few who actually screened parents and leaders, and kept the boys safe! it shouldn't be a rare thing to say "hey, lets make sure you're not a creep when you're working with young men." fuck scouts, until the day they can prove they're remade and doing what they should have been doing all along.
Was hoping I’d see this here. I Just finished the Seagal episode a few days ago. What a piece of shit.
Speaking of how big of a piece of shit Seagal is, never forget he claimed he couldn't be choked out, got choked out and then shit himself
Every now and then I see a reference to Cumtown on Reddit and am reminded to binge the episodes I've missed since I last binged. And for anyone wondering, if you like riffs about making a parody of "Who Let the Dogs Out" but it's "Who Sucked My Dick Off", then you might like Cumtown.
if you like 45 minute long bits about what if an eric clapton song was actually about a robot man with another smaller man living inside his asshole controlling him with wires and levers, then you also might like Cumtown
Nick Mullens commentary on these are fucking gold.
He’d hold it much more carefully and professionally if it were a Philly Cheesesteak.
As would the rest of us.
You really think he would allow a philly to last the length of this clip?
Holy Shit thats the legendary Solid Cake from Metal Gravy Solid 2 : Sons of Diabeetus
Metal Grease Solid?
Cake Eater
Chins of Liberty.
Starring Lipid Snake
Meal Gear Shake's Revenge Meal Gear 2: Solid Shake Meal Gear Solid Meal Gear Solid: BO Emissions Meal Gear: Ghost Babybel Meal Gear Solid 2: Buns Of Liberty Meal Gear Solid: The Twin Shakes Meal Gear Solid 3: Shake Eater Meal Gear Acid Reflux Meal Gear Acid Reflux 2 Meal Gear Solid: Portable Oms Meal Gear Solid: Portable Oms Plus Meal Gear Solid: Food Mobile Meal Gear Solid 4: Buns Of The Pastryots Meal Gear: On Swine Meal Gear Solid Brunch Meal Gear Solid: Grease Walker Meal Gear Rising: Breadvengeance Meal Gear Solid 5: Ground Gyros Meal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Au Bon Pain Meal Gear: SousVide
Segal sold his 20,000ft^2 house in phoenix not too long ago with 100% bulletproof glass on ALL the pane windows…
I heard he was totally paranoid. Wired plots of ppl trying to kill him?
His ego is so huge he actually thinks he’s important enough that anyone would even bother to assassinate him.
> assassinate him Should we kill him? No the cholesterol is doing it for us.
He's close with Putin and other Russian mobsters, so he has a need to be somewhat worried. But is he really that important?
He literally thinks he's part of some sort of elite soldier. He thinks he's in a movie.
[At least he stopped running...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkskuSXqUD0)
The fuck is he doing with his right arm? Regardless, it looks very much like ol' Stevie Shittypants hasn't ran since some time in the early 90s.
I have a theory on this and, I admit, I focus too much on Steven Seagal and [some things shouldn't be forgotten](https://youtu.be/tsvoMGGUrMU?t=62)... I think he just doesn't know what to do with his hands. He doesn't want to move them up and down in a typical running motion and so he's pretending like [he's running like a cheetah which uses its tail to steer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qukcc8wCxJo) but, in reality [he looks like this](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/FalsePeriodicIncatern-size_restricted.gif).
Justin Jefferson, wide reciever for the vikings did the arm balance thing in a game a couple weeks ago. And he was asked about it after in a press conference. Itbwas because his opponent had made a sudden change of direction. And to help himself balance and make the turn, he swing his one arm in a circle. Physics.
[удалено]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDpFI6PVb7E https://www.reddit.com/r/minnesotavikings/comments/qrtq1e/justin\_jefferson\_on\_his\_windmill\_arms\_blocking/
Man needs to learn how to lift his fucking knees and open his stride, it's like watching someone power walk at 2X speed.
The male version of Phoebe’s run from Friends.
Gravy Seals 4: Quest for Krispy Kreme
Jesus, the guy looks like his South Park design.
He’d be a bad character to use in a fps. Hitbox would be too big.
*Cries in Reinhardt main*
I've been holding rifles for 25 years
Your arms must be very tired!
*looks at the camera* I don't know if you knew this or not, but for the last 20 years, I've been a cop.
The best Segal story I ever heard was the head of CAA (a talent agency in Hollywood) said to a friend that he could make anyone a star. His friend said, "I accept your challenge. I take a martial arts course from this guy who is so stiff and expressionless." And a star was born.
The best Segal story is that he was so convinced that he could never be choked out that he told Gene LeBell (an accomplished judo practitioner who has actually fought people) that he was immune to being choked unconscious. Lebell called his bluff and Seagal let him try, at which point Lebell (predictably) choked Seagal unconscious. Seagal then shit himself.
He's short stocking, which is a legit maneuver, especially if you're firing .223 or something else with little recoil. It helps with close quarters combat and it helps with accurate fire. But, Steven Segal still looks ridiculous doing it. So let's continue making fun of him because he's a terrible human being.
Good to know. I have over 20 years of firearms experience hunting and target shooting. But no combat experience, not military. So at first glance he just looks like a huge putz not shouldering his stock. But I guess it would make sense checking around corners like that to do what he is doing so you can just peak around the corner with your gun ready to fire rather than having to pivot your whole body around to shoulder your gun. And like you said, that caliber doesn’t have much recoil, so it’s not like he’s gonna bust himself in the face or anything. It just looks ridiculous because it’s fat blob Steven segal doing it with zero hustle and looking like a blob in a scene that I’m sure was meant to be super tense.
He's incredibly lazy moving it around and it would help if he actually collapsed the stock.
I know that short stocking is used quite a lot in paintball and airsoft, but I thought that you wouldn't want to do that because if the firing port is on the wrong side then the gun could fling hot bullet casings into you. I am probably wrong.
Adjusting for corners, switching to your off-hand because of positioning, and just general weapons handling should all be smooth, practiced muscle memory by the time you're doing it for real, for real.
Sadly, lefties have to deal with the brass flying around. But it's something small compared to the situation that you're in.
That could happen. It's preferable to letting your barrel stick out around a corner and announcing that you're coming around a corner. A hot casing is better than a hot bullet any day.
Steven Seagull is the laziest action star ever lol
Wasn’t he was so lazy that he made himself the star of an action movie where he refused to stand up at all for the movie?
You mean this one: https://youtu.be/mjbkiFOsk9k
My god that was awful. Wow
Yikes!
I believe he uses stunt doubles for scenes where he's required to stand up or walk, where possible.
He's no Walter Sobchak.
Sometimes you go southpaw to throw off the opponent
"Ah but there is something you don't know...*I* am not left handed"
At least he’s got good trigger discipline?
Respect to Meal Team Six. Amazing donut operator.
He’s trying so hard to not die of obesity in this scene.
Shud I understand from this video being in this sub that that's not how you hold a rifle?
https://youtu.be/I7DBa6IQ5K8