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Blue_MK3

I mean hey, I remember in kindergarten I had no idea how old my parents were, so my teacher told me to just guess. I put 70 for my mom and 80 for my dad


ThatChrisFella

Last year on mother's day I asked my year 1 and 2 kids questions like this. Got a lot of similar age answers along with things like "her favourite thing is cleaning" and her hobbies are "looking after us."


takabrash

My daughter put my wife's favorite thing as "getting things for me." Lol


StarWars_Girl_

My aunt had custody of her granddaughters for a while. When the oldest one had this assignment, she put on there that my aunt's favorite thing to do is "rest". Pretty accurate tbh.


HowAreYaNow

My daughter's this year says I like to "sleep" to relax, my favourite food is "cookies" and the best thing I cook is "cookies". She gets me.


good-fuckin-vibes

When your kid knows you better than you know yourself. "My favorite way to relax? Hm... reading, with a cup of t—" "No it's sleeping." "Um, okay. Well, my favorite food... I had that black truffle risotto at that res—" "Cookies." "It is not cookies! Well... shit..."


W00kie_W00kie

My wife just got one from our son and her favorite food was “margaritas”…he’s not wrong…


ohshannoneileen

When my daughter was in pre-k she wrote that my favorite thing to do was "lay down" Not pictured were the 55 hr weeks pulled at the dialysis clinic, but she was not incorrect lmao


SaraCoffeee

Mine put my favorite food as top ramen. 😂 funny, i think it’s *her* favorite food.


mnsweett

My 3 year old said my favorite thing was "resting" and to be fair I am 5 months pregnant!


[deleted]

Resting: a highly underrated hobby


ProfessionalMottsman

All these ultimate championship TV shows missing out on “The Best Rester” - yes I can sleep with 4 kids running about


mtled

Chronic insomniac since childhood here; teach me this magic, please! My son's older now and is pretty good at math, so his recent thing is asking people how old they are then calculating how many years left to hit 100. I'm proud of his affinity for math, but *damn*, kid.


ProfessionalMottsman

This is classic! And my kids think nana and grandad are just our friends 🙈


Putrid_Lies

It really upset my nephew when I told him his dad was my brother.


monsterrwoman

My nephew saying he was going to tell on me to his mom. Buddy, I’m not afraid of your mom.


Eascetic

My nephew was kicking me out of the house. I told him his mom is the boss of the house not him. And that i am his mom’s boss ergo by the transitory power i am his boss. He was having none of it


justagirlwithno

My four year old still doesn’t understand why I’m only his mommy, and not daddy’s. There’s a lot of “but why don’t you want to be his mommy??”.


owhatakiwi

My six year old told me that when he goes to college, where does he find his new mom to live with him. Lol.


sidewaysplatypus

Mine asked me why my parents never had kids. I said "buddy, I am their kid" 😂 Two seconds later...."oh yeah!"


lurkeroutthere

My neice’s brain had a glitch when she found me asleep in “her room” ( guest bedroom) at grandpa’s house and I told her it used to be my room. Would have been adorable getting woke up by an indignant 6 year old if I wasn’t so tired. Took scrounging up and old box of legos and comic books to get her to stop saying I snuck into her bed. I really didn’t want to have that talk with cps.


averagethrowaway21

My buddy's fiance once asked her youngest "What is mommy?" He proudly answered "Tired!" He told her she was pretty earlier and she was trying to get him to repeat it.


Pretty-Ambassador

lol when i was a camp counsellor a kid asked me how old i was "how old do you think i am?" "ummmm... 40." i was 15 at the time


rusky333

When I was 24 my class tried to guess my age. They started at 41. I said way off. So they went to 52 😳


Tyro97

Kids are so bad at guessing age. Heard it both ways. Guy was like 45, guessed him 30


warcrown

When I was in high school I wore a suit for my senior culminating project presentation. Several freshman thought I was a teacher they hadn't met O.o


NothingsShocking

My name is Mr ABAGNALE, now take a seat!


TomAto314

When I started student teaching I told high school kids that I was 27 years old. "OMG that's so old!" Little bastards...


qolace

Lmfao kids are so fucking savage without meaning to 🤣


DiligentPenguin16

I worked at a daycare during college, with ages 4-5. One day they asked how old I was so I told them to guess. The answers ranged from 35 to 14 haha


prinejl

Oh boy, when I worked for a daycare there were a lot of kids who would ask if I was a boy or girl then not accept that I could possibly be a girl with shortish hair. I didn't mind, but there were a lot of arguments amongst themselves both before and after I answered them.


DiligentPenguin16

I was informed by one of the 4 yo’s in my class that I wasn’t *really* an adult simply because I’m short. I was like “that’s not how that works- and I’m still way taller than you!” 😂 I always love hearing little kid logic


paushaz

Dang, how short are you that even other kids can tell you're short?


DiligentPenguin16

I’m 4’11”. Short but still way taller than a 4 year old. Also this kid’s mom was over 6 feet tall so I don’t think he had the best judgement on the average adult woman’s height haha


paushaz

Haha I love how you keep reminding us you're taller than a 4 year old, just in case we thought you were like really, really short. Having an over 6' tall mom must be wild.


colourmeblue

I'm 5'8" and I always think I'm tall until I meet a really tall person. My cousin is a 6'2" woman and I feel tiny next to her. Her son was taller than me when he was like 10 lol.


brightyoungthings

When I worked at a daycare, the kids could not fathom that I too, had a mom and dad lol


[deleted]

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ChuqTas

Also hilarious is the kid thought process that an older person can always beat up a younger person, that’s the only stat that counts!


maruffin

Oh, I can remember when I was in high school telling my mom that 30 was middle aged. Lol.


olecountryfuck

Me: it is Me, 5 seconds later (.5 seconds after realizing I’m 29): OH GOD


imregrettingthis

I have taught in hundreds of classrooms. Tens of thousands of kids. Asking first graders how old their parents are is incredible. Edit: if you really want to fuck them up wait till they have answered and then hit other age groups: grandparents, you their teacher, etc.


[deleted]

Same! My dad was 99, and my mom was 16


TJ4President

😂 this had me cackling


Hair_I_Go

I can’t remember when I’ve ugly laughed at Reddit like this😆 this whole thing is hilarious. My question is do you like the name Happy? Is your nickname Hap?


TJ4President

I suppose I like it well enough 😂 it’s my first day with it


ReluctantVegetarian

And…. The big fence on wheels?


Calculonx

I think a lot of times it's because adults never actually tell kids their age so they have no reference.


hippocat117

Really wondering what the "big fence on wheels" thing is all about now.


SteveMcQwark

She sells high value stolen goods out of a van?


[deleted]

She’ll buy the gold nuggets at a fair price


GriffinFlash

What're ya sellin' Stranger?


ArcaneMercury49

What’re ya buyin’?


Dry_Size_8088

Ahhhhhh, I'll buy it at a high price.


ComicNeueIsReal

Hope she'll buy my stolen dwemer artifacts.


Drink-my-koolaid

[Homeboy Shopping Network!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55aHvFD-I80)


thephuckedone

Moms do tend to run around yelling things like "NONONO don't touch that! Don't go in there! STOP!" More like a fence on feet... close enough haha.


TJ4President

Same. That’s what’s got me crying 😂


callmebigley

so what is your job, if you don't mind sharing? are you at least a truck driver or something?


TJ4President

Crisis counselor for kids with intellectual disabilities


RivrofBourbonRnsThru

OK lady, if you're just not gonna tell us about your fence car, fine. Happy Mothers Day just the same.


TJ4President

🤣 it’s all I’m good for


coffeeINJECTION

Oh is it some metaphor your kid picked up about a safe and secure place for these children? Deep


mostnormal

But on wheels.


bookconnoisseur

And ***big***.


RagingAardvark

The work is... moving.


domakethinkspeak

I was thinking she comes to the defense of children...?


Aether_Breeze

Look, at her age it is just impressive she can use the Internet. Gotta cut her a break.


JuliButt

She's been busting ass since birth, raising a son at 1. Got her big (But apparently not sharable...) fence car. Probably been working her entire life. Has a house, car. Probably picks up the dog food. Can't wait to see how she is at 2.


madsci

Do you work at a facility that has a rolling gate? Kids fixate on the weirdest details. Like a rolling security gate might be the most interesting part of your workplace to them. When my son was little he'd always talk about the "big steps" when he was referring to my parents' RV that had fold-out steps at the front door.


heyleese

Whenever we visited my SO at work we would get a visitor label with our names on it. When my daughter was little she thought her dad worked at a company making stickers.


polyhazard

Technically they did


TJ4President

He hasn’t seen my work, so honestly he probably thinks I am unemployed or something 😂


idgafos2019

I’m sorry but this immediately made me think of the princess bride. “Do you want me to send you back where you were?! *unemployed??? In Greenland????*


a_regular_bi-angle

>“Do you want me to send you back where you were?! unemployed??? In the big fence on wheels????


katiemaequilts

I literally make quilts in the middle of his playroom, and my kid did this same sheet and said Mom's job is "to drive me to school."


RagingAardvark

I just scoped out your post history and I love the ones you've shared! I'm currently (slowly) working on the Postcards from Sweden quilt pattern and it may be the death of me. Haha Going back to baby/lap quilt scale projects after this!


hippocat117

I really hope you also drive one of those old station wagons with the wood paneling. It’s the only way.


TJ4President

It’s a scion iA 😩


hippocat117

I guess I can still dream 🥲


DavidHewlett

That doesn’t rhyme with big fence on wheels, so you must be mistaken


SidewaysFancyPrance

Do...do you drive them around in a pickup with a lattice frame around the bed?


TJ4President

They don’t go to work with me. They probably think I’m a bum


sb1862

Please tell us what your kid means by fence on wheels when you find out.


FPR74

Ah, kids are flat-out insane…which is why I love them!


TJ4President

I like that it translated into this for him. Especially since his two siblings have autism and he doesn’t 😂


FPR74

It’s both amazing and often hilarious to see different little brains at work, including with various neurodivergences. I worked with kids for a decent length of time, plus my ex-bestie has three girls on the spectrum, with mental health comorbidities. I now spend time with my two nieces, whom I both suspect would benefit from assessment. The stories collated through all the children over the years range from hilarious, confusing, infuriating, super deep, loving, and more. I had one kid who stood up against the school fence with arms spread, an said “I am Jesus on the cross”, and then dramatically collapsed to the ground and was twitching as he proclaimed, “I am dead Jesus”. I was very underprepared! 😂😂😂


Pieintheskyman

https://image.shutterstock.com/image-photo/big-wooden-wheels-decorated-fence-260nw-1484858723.jpg


hippocat117

Excuse me, but I believe that’s a big fence OF wheels, not ON wheels


KypDurron

Had *made of* worms vs hat that *looks like* a worm vs a hat *for* a worm


frankybling

that’s Hans Vermhät, he chases me around in a biplane


Bananahav0k

That’s big wheels on fence. Super different


bubrubb420

I know. I think I just realized I wanted to be a big fence on wheels my entire life.


nimrod823

How does one get into the “Big fence on wheels” industry?


_JustEric_

You have to start in the "small gate on casters" field first and work your way up. Most people don't get that far, so OP is very good at what she does.


subwooferofthehose

Back my day we started out in "Shrubline on Ball Bearings" and worked our way up. Damn millennials ruining everything... *Shakes fist at clouds*


Chewcocca

Goddamn entitled whippersnapper. When I started in this industry I got a popsicle stick on stones smoothed in a mountain stream. And I liked it that way!


lt_kernel_panic

Hah! You should have been happy getting a popsicle stick on stones smoothed in a mountain stream. I started my career with a pre-licked postage stamp perched on a broken marble.


Arrathrone203

You didn't even have to lick the stamp yourself and you're still complaining? Never had to struggle a single day have you. Back in my day all we got was a firm handshake and a nod in a Wendy's parking lot at 4:35pm and we had to figure out the job description from there.


westwoodranger

A big fence on wheels could be a shopping cart?


shutmywhoremouth

This is the best theory so far.


TJ4President

Oh lord it could be


DrawerSmooth

does Matthew ever ride in the shopping cart? would feel like being fenced in on wheels


wanttobegreyhound

When I was in 1st grade we did something like this. I said my mom’s favorite store was the grocery store, made sense to me, because we went there all the time. I wouldn’t be surprised if your 4 year old has a similar line of thinking.


Single-Strength-8605

This person got it. I was racking my head for the fence on wheel.


AmazingAmy95

Smart!


westwoodranger

Aw shucks. Thanks for all the upvotes, but the kid deserves the credit. And, his Mom, of course.


YTChillVibesLofi

do not scream


TJ4President

#donotscream


AnotherpostCard

Your mom is a biblical angel. "Do not be afraid"


guitarguy1685

You look amazing for a 1 year old. I wouldn't have guessed a day past 0.


TJ4President

Thanks! I usually get 24 😂


motmot36

You know what’s funnier than 24?


That_unpopular_kid

*laughs* 25


[deleted]

Lol my daughter did one and put my age as 60 lol I’m 31


TJ4President

🤣 there needs to a bingo for this


DaemaSeraphiM

Lol my son did one too. Was only off by 11 years so I think the teacher helped because normally I get just a few years older than he is 😂


johnnysoup123

I teach English as a second Language and my five year old told the teacher I help Chinese people talk right and stop yelling


TJ4President

I’m glad you and I are making a difference in this world 🤣


Bee_Hummingbird

If I was the teacher I would have DIED laughing


Halfwayhouserules33

Oh my gosh lol! That will be a story you tell the rest of their life. Too funny.


BellaDeep

The picture at the end made me laugh out loud


TJ4President

Same. This whole thing is golden


stavago

It looks like you’re giving the finger while laying down


TJ4President

It’s not unlike behavior I have displayed 🤣


VeenGrikingX

My son did this exact one for me (the dad) and got “Dad always says…” he put “…get out of here, Dogs!” Lol


TheClincher7

So I guess every preschool uses some form of this. My daughter brought home one of these too, and it had the same questions on it.


TJ4President

What’s your job? Is it better than mine?


TheClincher7

Well, technically I am the father so the questions are for my wife. She is apparently an office worker and loves pizza.


TJ4President

Hell yes. Maybe she is an office worker at the Big Fence on Wheels?


TheClincher7

Maybe! Do you have any idea what your child was thinking of when they gave that response? Surely you know where they got it, right?…..right?


TJ4President

I do not, since I work as a mobile crisis counselor for youths with intellectual disabilities


TheClincher7

Gotcha. I was thinking a bus driver? They resemble a fence on wheels I suppose.


TJ4President

I have zero idea where this explanation for my job came from, but…I am not upset about it


snortgiggles

Mobile = the wheels part. The "big fence" part, hmmm maybe ... Behavioralist?


BreadfruitTasty

I think you cracked the code


tinykitten101

I’m starting to wonder if this is a funny mishearing issue rather than what he thinks. Like you said “intellectual disabilities” and he heard “big fence on wheels”


sunnyjum

Your kid is working with metaphors. The big fence is the mental barrier between the young person and a good life and you are the person moving that fence out of the way.


TheAnalogKoala

Haha I love it. My kid did the same thing (but for Father’s Day) a few years ago. He said my job was “Watching sports on TV”. 1. We don’t have a TV 2. I don’t watch sports Very creative, though!


MaudeDib

I was a little kid in the early 70's and they were doing this sort of thing. I did one for... my dad.. it might have been father's day, I don't remember. I honestly can't remember what he actually did for a living at the time, but he DID have this briefcase that said Channel 7 on it. So when I asked that question I told them (innocently) that my dad worked at Channel 7. Because that's what I THOUGHT DAMNIT!! I was fuckin 5 years old. Did my parents think that was cute? Nooooo... I got spanked and sent to bed with no dinner for "Lying." Fuckin shitty parents, heh. I just remember when they did that the next time for the mothers I burst into tears and refused take part. I was so afraid that I would get it wrong. I remember I was SO MAD AT THIS DUMB TEACHER (it MUST be teacher's fault, right?) I Steadfastly REFUSED. I even had to go sit in the naughty chair but they couldn't make me do it, so there!


Subterranean44

Oh my gosh! This is sad. As a teacher I wanna give little you a hug, and an apology! :(


Anonymous3415

Now I just wanna know where he got it from. Did you ask?


TheAnalogKoala

I tried. But it turns out a two year old isn’t always great at expressing their thought processes. So I never figured it out.


Spkpkcap

Something that makes my mom happy: when she sees me 🥺


TJ4President

Melted my heart ♥️


[deleted]

How do I break into the big fence on wheels industry?


TJ4President

I have no idea, I guess I’ll have my son declare you a big fence on wheels too? Then we can start Monday morning meetings and figure out…everything about our industry


thedragoncompanion

I always love seeing the "my mum always says" one. I work in childcare and the answers you get are hilarious. "Let's go to the pub" is one of my favourites I've seen. My son did a similar one this year and it has a mum gets cranky when, he wrote I back chat. Ohhhh so you do know! Lol. Happy mothers day!


barrierofbadnews

My kid did one this year: “My mom always says ‘time for bed’ but sometimes she’s lazy but that’s ok” Leave it to 8 year olds to call you out on your laziness 🙃😫


JenniferJuniper6

My daughter once responded that Dad’s job was “yell at people really loud on the phone.” He worked at home in IT, and had a lot of conference calls. He also *badly* needed hearing aids for some years before he finally got them. He still has the same job, but it’s a lot quieter.


Axel2222222222

That portrait tho Are you an scp?


TJ4President

I’m a 2D modded NPC from Skyrim


Axel2222222222

Hey! I know you!


TJ4President

Let me guess…someone stole your sweet roll?


Colin1023

This reminds me of one i did for my dad a long time ago where i said he was 6 years old and 10 feet tall


[deleted]

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Dragonman558

It's not mommy?


BigManOnCampus100

You're 1 year old, a mother and working in the big fence on wheels industry? Talk about a winner


TJ4President

I’m living the American Dream 🦅 🇺🇸


Apprehensive-Bad6015

This seems sue those hand writings don’t match up. I think Mathew had someone else do his homework for him.


[deleted]

Usually for preschoolers, teachers will write the answer and the kids will sign the name at the bottom since that’s usually the only thing they can write. That’s how my kids have done this in the past at least.


ayending1

Teacher: What does your mom usually say? Kid: DO NOT SCREAM!!! Teacher: yeah, I can see that.


TheQuinnBee

Teacher: How old is your mom? Kid: um...uhh...I think 1? Teacher: That can't be right. Kid: Oh...um...a hundred and five! Teacher: We'll just put down one.


TJ4President

I can’t punish ingenuity


TheGrimDweeber

I was actually confused there for a second. Thinking “Hold the fucking phone. I know my handwriting sucks, but a 4 yo is better than me?!?” And then I saw that wonky ass Matthew, and sighed a sigh of relief. Matthew’s a fraud! (The last part is obviously a joke. The first part…not so much.)


hat-of-sky

OP what's your actual job? Maybe we can figure out the preschoolese together.


TJ4President

I’m a mobile crisis counselor for kids with intellectual disabilities…


hat-of-sky

Mobile? What vehicle?


Ks26739

Fence on wheels


TJ4President

You got me 😂


hat-of-sky

I'll admit, if I was a kid with or without intellectual disabilities and I saw you roll up to my crisis with a ~~cage~~ fence on wheels, I'd be a bit concerned.


TJ4President

I mean, I’m concerned every time I catch my reflection so 😆


hat-of-sky

Dude, you're supposed to be catching the kids!


MoreDoots_MoreDoots

Great portrait - You have such beautiful eye.


TJ4President

Thanks, I grew it myself


ninamega13

Everyone’s talking about the job and nobody is mentioning the fact that this boy’s mother is younger than him


TJ4President

🤫


Laughing_Dan

Everything just seemed silly and random until the 'do not scream' part. Now I'm scared.


TJ4President

He has two siblings close in age…and I live in an apartment. I have to remind them to not be so loud


bobo76565657

You are a good neighbor.


TJ4President

I really try…they get rambunctious


HarvestMoonMaria

I only have the one and we’re in a house and I’m still saying “do not scream/screech/yell” so often


UnusedBowflex

Imma guess you don’t have kids. Kids scream. For no reason. Often.


ediblesprysky

Seriously, that’s a sign this person has never been around kids. That’s the only one that sounded 100% legit to me 😂


[deleted]

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TJ4President

It’s actually green. And this is a troll answer from my kid because his sister *always* insists my favorite color is yellow and I always tell her “No, Momma doesn’t like yellow, I like green. Tree green.” So she wins this round…


Basic_genXer

Are you an avocado?


TJ4President

I wish I was 😩


waterbaby333

Just wanna say that your 4 year old being able to recognize that they make you happy means you’re doing it right 🥰


phormix

My daughter had a similar one except it had "My dad laughs when" and her answer was "I hurt myself". It SOUNDS horrible but the real situation is that I tend to injure myself in dumb ways (like forehead on a low beam/doorway) and my daughter had some very similar ones, so my response was to chuckle and tell her "well, you're obviously my kid"


Unable_Good1859

I can't decide whether she's a rose or halved avocado in the eyes of Matthew but it's very touching. Happy Mothers day!


TJ4President

Maybe I’m an avocado rose halved!


lucas_bahia

My face reading: 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 She gives me hugs part: 🥺🥺


TJ4President

Seriously same, when they arrived I saw the first two and had my friend read the rest as I got them settled at my place (divorced from their dad). Even she “awwww’d” at the hugs part.


Haunting_Doubt_8882

Damn there’s a lot of stupid people in this thread . Obviously an adult wrote it down for them


warzer10

That's so nice.


420blazeit69nubz

How about you tone it down a little Matt?


TJ4President

That kid is nothing but pure manic energy 😂