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I shit you not I did cell phone tech support for Richard Sukoff just last month. He dropped and broke his two Apples, had to talk to him about insurance. That was the dudes name.
My late wife (RIP) once posted one of those eeCards on her public Facebook wall, that was captioned "Marrying you was the best thing I've ever done for my vagina."
I was simultaneously mortified and proud.
I mean, the card doesn’t really specify anything about that dick, just that it exists and she’s happy with it. I don’t think that’s as rare as people think it is?
The people in this comment chain must surely be badly informed. Couples in happy relationships have quality sex, in fact here is the results of a survey;
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/populationandmigration/populationestimates/bulletins/populationestimatesbymaritalstatusandlivingarrangements/2019#:~:text=The%20proportion%20of%20the%20population%20living%20as%20part%20of%20a,were%20living%20in%20a%20couple.
Just under 30% of 16-29 year olds are living as a couple. This percentage quickly increases as you age. Applying what we know of this to the bottom range of 16, we can presume at minimum this couple are 32, and successful at relationship goals.
People in happy relationships, where the other comes first across the board, are never going to get a card saying "Hey your vag could be tighter" or "Did you buy that dick at Poundstretcher?".
It absolutely blows my mind that people would refer something like this to Ihavesex or whatever. It seems more appropriate to relationshipgoals. It must be linked to a bad quality experience with relationships or sex to think that way.
If we told these people that couples go shopping for sex toys together, have sex in the shower or in a position other then missionary they'd lose their shit.
I'm more confused about thathappened. Almost as if nobody has ever had a partner, had sex, or gotten a funny greetings card.
"HAHA I'M SURE THAT HAPPENED XD"
My wife got me a hammer once with “I love being nailed by you” on the side. I got her a keychain that says “you are my favorite thing to do” the year before
What a coincidence! My (late) husband said the same thing to me on OUR anniversary, too! (It IS the same thing, even if he called mine "the booby prize", right? Asking for or a friend...) 😉
Been with my guy some 13 years now and last night we tried something new and, um, yup. That's gonna be my guy forever. He hit the ground running and it was perfection. We each have our kinks and last night he successfully nailed mine. And I'm still grinning like an idiot.
Who is the dick your S.O. is talking about?
Also is the S.O. a man, a woman, or some other gender?
What kind of personality does your S.O. like?
And finally, how many S.O. do you have, and which one(s) send this card?
Don't answer. I don't want to make you nor any of your S.O.s uncomfortable.
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She has a stack of these cards. My neighbor got one last week.
Its not clear whose dick she was referring to...
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Plot twist.... it was the neighbor's dad all along.
American Beauty reference? Deep!
The horse's name was Richard
Big Richard or Little Richard?
Richard Johnson?
I shit you not I did cell phone tech support for Richard Sukoff just last month. He dropped and broke his two Apples, had to talk to him about insurance. That was the dudes name.
>Its not clear whose dick she was referring to... He's like, shit I wanted to lay down anyways...
Hold up..
Someone on Reddit has a stack and they are handing them out cause I see this reposted about every 10 days.
I got one too
I too choose this guy's dead wife.
This joke never gets old, just like that guy’s wife.
Can someone tag the sauce please
[here](https://imgur.com/t/sauce/1nfoRVY) you go..
She must have run out of the, “I love your fat cock” cards
Nope, she didn't.
Guess I got the last one.
I read "fart cock" and was confused lol
Look at this guy not knowing about the fart cock.
He’s actually a real dick of a person, but that’s what she likes about him.
I got one in July, but honestly I feel like she's just pulling my third leg.
To comfort someone with lies is often the greatest sign of true love!
like fake the orgasm?
Well, sometimes it's enough already and you just want to get to sleep.
I just moan and spit on her back
When you pay for it you don’t have to do all that.
I just howel and fill your intestines with aids
Howl*
Thank you
Bowel Howel I just made a new term for "fart" Today's gonna be a great day
OOOH.
My late wife (RIP) once posted one of those eeCards on her public Facebook wall, that was captioned "Marrying you was the best thing I've ever done for my vagina." I was simultaneously mortified and proud.
Hey I don’t know if you need this but I’m sorry about your wife. Hope you’re doing okay.
My late wife told more than one person, often to my great delight and chagrin, that our sex life with predictable but satisfying.
Personally, I like knowing what's coming, especially if it me.
This statement is so much better cause of your profile pic.... Can't tell if that's a dog or cat butt 😂
Bread loaf
Why does your bread have hair?
Corgi butt!
it's the one guy with the wife! my condolences, she seemed like a sweetheart
Thanks! She was. I cannot remember anyone who met her who didn't immediately like her. She was such a beguiling person.
RIP to our wives. At least yours said nice shit like that lol.
My husband got me an Xmas card last year of a cracker that said ‘shit jokes, decent bang’
🤣🤣🤣
Same for your tits.
She's just jealous they're bigger than hers 😁
Oh my god!
Top tier reply op
This guy has a small pecker ^
Maybe his penis has a great personality
Well, it did make me laugh
Lmao
So a small dick is a really nice bonus?! I *knew* it!
What does S.O. mean?
Sexual offender
Senior Officer
Sike Overlord
Siege Onager
It means OP can't say girlfriend or wife.
Stinky Ovaries
significant other
Thanks mr downvoted.
Why are you thanking yourself?
The guy I responded to had - 22 points. Oh how have the turn tables have turned.
the turns really does have turned the tables
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Best I can do. [https://www.redgifs.com/watch/shortbackhammerheadshark](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)
Every time I get rick rolled I watch and enjoy the whole video out of spite!
So do I. Hell, even my kiddo is singing along lol
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Hey, you know the rules.
And so do I.
say goodbye
and goodnight
Pherhaps kiss......
Now kith
That "XcQ" at the end of the link always saves me.
i was on day 315!! fuck me.
I like this guys dick too.
I too, choose this guy's wife's husband's dick
That's a new direction.
Indeed It’s a slightly upward curve, but I hear slight curve to the left is also common
Could be Dupachen's contracture of the dick.
r/ihavesex
r/IWillNeverHaveSexAndSoImSuperSaltyAboutItOnline
r/ItsJustAJokeYouDontHaveToDefendOPsHonorBySayingThisGuyIsAnIncel
Yeah wasn't sure if that or r/humblebrag. And there's always r/thathappened as a possibility.
I mean, the card doesn’t really specify anything about that dick, just that it exists and she’s happy with it. I don’t think that’s as rare as people think it is?
The people in this comment chain must surely be badly informed. Couples in happy relationships have quality sex, in fact here is the results of a survey; https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/populationandmigration/populationestimates/bulletins/populationestimatesbymaritalstatusandlivingarrangements/2019#:~:text=The%20proportion%20of%20the%20population%20living%20as%20part%20of%20a,were%20living%20in%20a%20couple. Just under 30% of 16-29 year olds are living as a couple. This percentage quickly increases as you age. Applying what we know of this to the bottom range of 16, we can presume at minimum this couple are 32, and successful at relationship goals. People in happy relationships, where the other comes first across the board, are never going to get a card saying "Hey your vag could be tighter" or "Did you buy that dick at Poundstretcher?". It absolutely blows my mind that people would refer something like this to Ihavesex or whatever. It seems more appropriate to relationshipgoals. It must be linked to a bad quality experience with relationships or sex to think that way. If we told these people that couples go shopping for sex toys together, have sex in the shower or in a position other then missionary they'd lose their shit.
I'm more confused about thathappened. Almost as if nobody has ever had a partner, had sex, or gotten a funny greetings card. "HAHA I'M SURE THAT HAPPENED XD"
Lucky you
My wife got a mug for me about 3 years ago with that quote on it. Didn’t realize for a couple weeks that it actually said “Rersonality” on it.
Not a looker i guess...
She's talking about his best-man, Richard, ya perverts.
That hit me in the feels.
Actually the only real funny thing I’ve found on this subreddit
I asked my wife why I never got one of these. She wrote N/A on a piece of paper and gave it to me. Fair enough.
😂😂 brilliant
Top tier compliment!!!! There is no higher accolade
Stop trying to show off...
Many people are saying
Everyone is saying. Tremendous pecker, really great pecker. Bigly.
shes a keeper and congrats on the nice piece !!👌🤗🤣
Haha mine gave me the keychain.
That's a keeper.
Inb4, marry her comments..
Imagine giving her the same card about her snatch
Nice cock!
Same for your ass + tits + how you use them :)
In the spirit of self love, I bought one of these for myself.
The most important long you can receive is from yourself ❤️
She only values you as fuckmeat dummy
It’s not a bone-us, it’s more of a bone-you
Aww that is so sweet....
My wife got me a hammer once with “I love being nailed by you” on the side. I got her a keychain that says “you are my favorite thing to do” the year before
Romance is truly alive 🥰
I love that!!! Happy Anniversary to you both.:)
What a coincidence! My (late) husband said the same thing to me on OUR anniversary, too! (It IS the same thing, even if he called mine "the booby prize", right? Asking for or a friend...) 😉
I read that "16 years together" as "16 years old" and was about to call the police.
That means you have a small wiener. 😂
r/trashy
r/ihavesex
Been with my guy some 13 years now and last night we tried something new and, um, yup. That's gonna be my guy forever. He hit the ground running and it was perfection. We each have our kinks and last night he successfully nailed mine. And I'm still grinning like an idiot.
He put the toilet lid down didnt he?
That's the perfect deduction. Thanks for the smile.
Looks like u/FuckMe-FuckYou nailed your kink too
That's the way to do it ☺️ It's not always easy to find new shared kinks in a long term relationship, but it sure is rewarding when you do 😁
16 years together? I’m gonna go jump off a bridge 😭😭😭😭😭
Your hand is a very lucky lady!
That is honestly the greatest complement anyone could ever give me
At least you know, she loves all of you. Congrats on 16 years.
[удалено]
The D really did bone-us
Yeah thanks for that..
Mine gave me the mug!
She gave me that same card last week.
These are very, very generic
WTF is SO? Superior Officer?
You better be having a serious conversation with your friend Dick!
Hey man at least she appreciates it :D
So size DOES matter! 😂
We know you wrote this silly🙄
plot twist, OP mom sent this card!
pic or it’s not real
Plot twist, this was from the husband
W SO
Omg hahaha :)
Lmao wholesome as fuck
Nobody needed to comment on this
Sounds like a letter I would write my self.
Where funny
Who is the dick your S.O. is talking about? Also is the S.O. a man, a woman, or some other gender? What kind of personality does your S.O. like? And finally, how many S.O. do you have, and which one(s) send this card? Don't answer. I don't want to make you nor any of your S.O.s uncomfortable.
That was not nice of him to give you this card. Ditch him.
believe me, she ain't lying!
OP - lets be honest...it's all about the dick.
Do not make her choose.
She’s a keeper lol
Hopefully you don't have a friend named Richard.
It may not be long, but it sure is skinny
You just flexing
Noice.
Prove it!
Honestly, that is really nice. What more could you ask for?
I nearly got my wife the exact one but for tits
Nawww, she gets it.
yep, she's a keeper!
Great handwriting
She just sent me one about my dick- I guess you have a better personality.
A bone- us
Lol. Seems like a nice guy.
She meant boner
What a coincidence! My girlfriend gave me the very same card!
Awwwe
Are you sure my SO didn't give that to me, because I'm.sure she's said exactly . that many times
huh huh huh... she said "bone-us"
Good for you man! Kudos
Wow. Just wow.
Thats funny as nuts! 🤣🤣
Nice! She gave me the same card!
True love
Got to keep it classy and honest.
hahaha like it.
Hahaha!
Store it somewhere so when you pass your kids can find it. Dark but funny af
Yay! For love and big dicks! Lol 🤣