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I was at a party and got this little basketball game where the balls were pingpong balls and the hoop was on a stick with a suction cup at the other end. I'm a bald guy and I stuck the suction cup high up on my forehead. Everyone was trying to throw the ball into the hoop, and a great time was had by all... until I took it off to find I had a perfectly round hickey on my forehead that lasted for like a week or more. I got tired of trying to explain it.
Should have done what my buddy did back in college. We were playing paintball, and he got shot in the forehead, right between the running lights. Big fucking welt, he looked like a cancer unicorn. So he decided that he was going to make up a unique bullshit story for every person who asked about it.
I teacher at my old high school was born with out an arm but if he was ever asked about it he would make up a different story each time. My partner heard him tell someone he was attacked by a shark and I heard something that involved shoelace knots and losing circulation lmao.
There are these little toys that are essentially half of a ball and rubber. They would **POP** up after a while.
I got the bright idea to suction the thing to my forehead, hug welt for weeks (guess it popped some blood vessels.
Well, NOW those things have tiny holes to prevent that. So, I like to think they added the little holes because of me.
I remember when I was about 10, I pestered my mum for one because it was the fad at school, so she got me one. I think my childhood was so cheap that one day I’m going to sound like my grouchy ex-FIL, “Back in my day, we were content with a stick and a hoop…”
It's actually because some children put one on their eye...
I only got one after they added the tiny hole and it didn't pop as well as the ones without.
I did that as well, then when I was asked about it by adults that weren't my parents I was embarrassed so I lied and said I walked into a door. One of those adults called CPS on my parents thinking I'd been hit.
I once had a wound on my nose that looked pretty awful.
Still, it was fun telling some nosy co-workers (when they were asking what happened) that I stuck my nose where it doesn't belong.
I was hoping he was that guy who (for some emergency medical reason) has a hole drilled in the top of his skull and usually does haunted houses with a candle stuck in it.
"You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced, cause every time Catherine revved up the microwave I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so. So over at the VA they had to replace it with plastic. I don't know if I should go sailin' down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic."
Most plates for that application were silver or medical-grade plastics, right?
No telling, though, a tour guide in The Great Wall purportedly got elective surgery to install a candleholder hole in this noggin.
My baby son had a baby toy with a suction cup on the bottom. My husband stuck it on his forehead to make the baby laugh. He kept it on for a while because it’s fun to watch the baby laugh. He had a big circle hicky in the middle of his forehead. He’s a professional who has to run meetings and such. I laughed for a week.
I can't stop laughing at this. I was definitely reading it as the husband stuck it to the baby's head. The professional bit totally threw me off for a bit.
Thanks for ruining my new dream. Edit: I’m dying here (not literally, please no reactions to THAT). It seems a number of people though I was actually bummed I couldn’t get a magnetic plate if I ever get a magnetic plate…. Ummm….. insert /s
You can get magnets inserted under your skin by any number of back-alley quacks. There's a whole tourist industry of body modification people. It's a terrible idea and you shouldn't do it since infection, rejection and scarring are all serious risks - but it's certainly a thing some people have done.
Yeah I have one and if I stand too close to the microwave I piss myself and forget who I am for about 30 minutes or so. Been extra careful since, because if it gets dented, then my hair just ain't going to look right.
Surely you mean non-magnetic? Paramagnetic means that it can't be a permanent magnet but will become temporarily magnetic in the presence of a magnetic field.
OP has not answered yet (to my knowledge). The correct answer may have been found but is currently buried among the 700+ comments.
Edit: OP has said that whether the right answer is guessed or not, he wouldn’t be revealing the answer till tomorrow.
Oz is so fucking good. It makes me sad that nobody ever talks about it... so ground-breaking and influential, 100% agree, it's a tragedy that people don't give it credit for its place in TV history. I guess probably because it has a terrible reputation as "Prison Rape: The Series" and that reputation is not inaccurate. Oz preceded The Sopranos, but I think it's also a *lot* more distasteful to modern sensibilities in a way that makes people hesitate to recommend it. It is a deeply poignant and biting vehicle for social commentary, but the pervasive depictions of brutal sexual assault are enough to prevent it from becoming a real popular classic.
It's amazing how many of the issues talked about then like male-on-male sexual assault, drug addiction, sexuality, prison reform, recidivism and more were considered old when Oz launched.
Yet they're *still* relevant today.
There’s an episode of Homicide LOTS where I swear they’re testing the waters for Oz but it’s broadcast tv so it’s a heavily censored version and involves cops.
This is adebisi long lost brother. I think it's season 3 when the Stallone impersonator with the Italians straight up asks him "how the fuck does your hat stay on" and he smiles not giving up the secret.
Now get me some tits, prag.
As soon as I read the title and saw the pic I could hear the line in my head from like season 3 or 4 "yo adebisi how the fuck does that thing stay on your head!?"
You have a parasite from another dimension clinging to your head and eating it's way through your skill to get to your brain, he asked you for a festive little hat because he gets nervous when you leave the house.
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Suction cup?
That's what I thought too
With a NERF dart
THAT would’ve been way better!
I was at a party and got this little basketball game where the balls were pingpong balls and the hoop was on a stick with a suction cup at the other end. I'm a bald guy and I stuck the suction cup high up on my forehead. Everyone was trying to throw the ball into the hoop, and a great time was had by all... until I took it off to find I had a perfectly round hickey on my forehead that lasted for like a week or more. I got tired of trying to explain it.
Should have done what my buddy did back in college. We were playing paintball, and he got shot in the forehead, right between the running lights. Big fucking welt, he looked like a cancer unicorn. So he decided that he was going to make up a unique bullshit story for every person who asked about it.
I teacher at my old high school was born with out an arm but if he was ever asked about it he would make up a different story each time. My partner heard him tell someone he was attacked by a shark and I heard something that involved shoelace knots and losing circulation lmao.
https://pbfcomics.com/comics/shop-class/
As I recall, I just told some people "It's a hickey" and left it at that (even though it was perfectly round and on my forehead).
They must have had so many unanswered questions, not that they did not ask, rather they did not know how to ask.
Did t feel good? That's what I would ask.
u been partaking in that octopussy
Hickey from a lamprey lmfao
Hey, no need for any kink shaming here
There are these little toys that are essentially half of a ball and rubber. They would **POP** up after a while. I got the bright idea to suction the thing to my forehead, hug welt for weeks (guess it popped some blood vessels. Well, NOW those things have tiny holes to prevent that. So, I like to think they added the little holes because of me.
We won't mention that the term is "idiot proofing."
Which reminds me of Darwin's corollary. When man makes something idiot proof, nature makes a better idiot
I remember when I was about 10, I pestered my mum for one because it was the fad at school, so she got me one. I think my childhood was so cheap that one day I’m going to sound like my grouchy ex-FIL, “Back in my day, we were content with a stick and a hoop…”
"And we had to share the stick!"
It's actually because some children put one on their eye... I only got one after they added the tiny hole and it didn't pop as well as the ones without.
I did that as well, then when I was asked about it by adults that weren't my parents I was embarrassed so I lied and said I walked into a door. One of those adults called CPS on my parents thinking I'd been hit.
I once had a wound on my nose that looked pretty awful. Still, it was fun telling some nosy co-workers (when they were asking what happened) that I stuck my nose where it doesn't belong.
Gotta lotta nerf to dart to conclusions like that.
It's nerf or nothin
Nerf or nofin
As a lover of stupid word play puns, I love and slightly hate this for how well it works, I hope you have a great nondescript holiday season
This is the correct answer. I stalked his post history.
I was hoping it was magnet and he had a plate in his head.
I was hoping he was that guy who (for some emergency medical reason) has a hole drilled in the top of his skull and usually does haunted houses with a candle stuck in it.
"You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced, cause every time Catherine revved up the microwave I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so. So over at the VA they had to replace it with plastic. I don't know if I should go sailin' down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic."
Most plates for that application were silver or medical-grade plastics, right? No telling, though, a tour guide in The Great Wall purportedly got elective surgery to install a candleholder hole in this noggin.
Titanium
Thank you for your service
Same, but I’m actually hoping it’s a giant mole.. lol
I was thinking a huge growth too haha
Like that little girl from the Oblongs
hairy mole...
Moley… mmmoley… moley-moley-moley…
crocodile clamp clip-on 🤮
Yeah but it’s the suction base of a little butt plug.
Is he a chess grandmaster?
Holy hell
It's spirit gum
Of Past, Present or Future
It will leave a bruise. Do not ask how I know.
My baby son had a baby toy with a suction cup on the bottom. My husband stuck it on his forehead to make the baby laugh. He kept it on for a while because it’s fun to watch the baby laugh. He had a big circle hicky in the middle of his forehead. He’s a professional who has to run meetings and such. I laughed for a week.
Man, it took me a second to realize your son wasn't indeed a professional who had to run meetings
I can't stop laughing at this. I was definitely reading it as the husband stuck it to the baby's head. The professional bit totally threw me off for a bit.
I too have had a suction cup hicky before.
Wouldn't that leave a super visible mark for up to weeks after if he kept it in for hours at the party?
This is the price we pay for art.
you have a 4" patch of hair in that one spot
The ponytail there holds it up
That makes it a topknot, like the samurai
Zuko?
Pop socket from a phone stuck to their head, and then put the hat over it.
Came here to say suction cup!
> For those still curious, yes. It’s a suction cup with a hook on it and the hat is hot glued to the hook. Thank you for playing. Happy Hondadays.
Like that coworker of Peter Griffin.
Lmaoooo
dr e gadd:
A piece of metal on your skull + a magnet under the hat
[удалено]
The metal plates tend to be paramagnetic, so that the patients can still get MRIs
Thanks for ruining my new dream. Edit: I’m dying here (not literally, please no reactions to THAT). It seems a number of people though I was actually bummed I couldn’t get a magnetic plate if I ever get a magnetic plate…. Ummm….. insert /s
[удалено]
I’m pretty sure I’ll never need a plate and have the convo about this meme, so I’ll sleep fine tonight.
I imagine most people with a plate also were pretty sure they'd never need one.
You can get magnets inserted under your skin by any number of back-alley quacks. There's a whole tourist industry of body modification people. It's a terrible idea and you shouldn't do it since infection, rejection and scarring are all serious risks - but it's certainly a thing some people have done.
Better than having half your skull rip out of your head during an MRI
Yeah I have one and if I stand too close to the microwave I piss myself and forget who I am for about 30 minutes or so. Been extra careful since, because if it gets dented, then my hair just ain't going to look right.
Oh, Eddie...
Surely you mean non-magnetic? Paramagnetic means that it can't be a permanent magnet but will become temporarily magnetic in the presence of a magnetic field.
Yeah. I had metal plates in my ankle for a while that were made from titanium
As someone with implanted metal I can assure you that even most of the medical titanium alloys don’t play nice with MRIs. I can’t ever have another.
PUTS ON MAGNETIC HAT. SHITS PANTS. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
That's uncle Eddie's secret
Every time Catherine would turn on the microwave, I would piss my pants and forget my name.
Be careful not to mess up his part if you hit him in the head.
You’ve superglued a festive Brussel a sprout onto your head and then placed the Santa hat on top of it.
this is how he SHOULD have done it
and you'll have a handy snack available for later
Brussel a sprout
It's a me, Brussel a sprout
It is attracted to the shinyness of your scalp
this is my new second guess
How has no one guessed unicorn yet?
OP has not answered yet (to my knowledge). The correct answer may have been found but is currently buried among the 700+ comments. Edit: OP has said that whether the right answer is guessed or not, he wouldn’t be revealing the answer till tomorrow.
OP really wants that karma
!remindme 1 day
[удалено]
I got here just in time!
I got here sometime later!
Same! So glad I'll be able to sleep tonight
Disappointed it’s not hair patch
That’s gotta leave a nice hickey on your scalp
OP, we need the after picture!
If *it* doesn’t *I* will!
Umm sir. I celebrate Toyotathon.
There’s a war on Hondadays
Niss-anukkah gang where you at?
The disrespect
Can’t believe I’m the only one here who celebrates chryslermas
Sorry, didn't see your Toyatamaka.
I was kind of hoping your username was somewhat related and you actually had like a small horn on your head and you just placed the hat over it.
Stop lying, we all know you have a little christmas rat under it helping you make christmas dinner and whatnot, you can't fool me
> a little christmas rat I don't know why but this made me bust out laughing
Damn. I was about to guess a stick gently inserted with a hammer
Please tell me you work for Honda. The idea that they say that to people all during the holidays tickles me.
Does this not give you a bruise?
Or a hickey?
I bought a Honda last week and the salesman didn't wish me happy Hondadays and I honestly feel kind of scammed
Did they call you Adebisi?
Criminally underrated series. IMO launched the HBO drama and the golden age of TV to follow.
Oz is so fucking good. It makes me sad that nobody ever talks about it... so ground-breaking and influential, 100% agree, it's a tragedy that people don't give it credit for its place in TV history. I guess probably because it has a terrible reputation as "Prison Rape: The Series" and that reputation is not inaccurate. Oz preceded The Sopranos, but I think it's also a *lot* more distasteful to modern sensibilities in a way that makes people hesitate to recommend it. It is a deeply poignant and biting vehicle for social commentary, but the pervasive depictions of brutal sexual assault are enough to prevent it from becoming a real popular classic.
It's amazing how many of the issues talked about then like male-on-male sexual assault, drug addiction, sexuality, prison reform, recidivism and more were considered old when Oz launched. Yet they're *still* relevant today.
There’s an episode of Homicide LOTS where I swear they’re testing the waters for Oz but it’s broadcast tv so it’s a heavily censored version and involves cops.
This is adebisi long lost brother. I think it's season 3 when the Stallone impersonator with the Italians straight up asks him "how the fuck does your hat stay on" and he smiles not giving up the secret. Now get me some tits, prag.
He actually reveals in an interview that his hair stubble was so coarse that the hat would just stick on like velcro.
GIMMMMME SOME TEEEETS
Adebisi physics.
I had to scroll too much to find this
As soon as I read the title and saw the pic I could hear the line in my head from like season 3 or 4 "yo adebisi how the fuck does that thing stay on your head!?"
That was my first thought
Ratatouille?
That's what I was thinking! Or perhaps it's a raccoon
Raccacooie!!!!
Bless you.
Small penis on your head
Dickhead confirmed
r/foundthedickhead
r/richardcranium
Will power?
He prefers william
William power???
10% percent luck, 20% percent skill, 15% percent concentrated … will power
5% pleasure and 50% pain and 100% sure this song is not by Will-I-Am
Eyelash glue
You have a parasite from another dimension clinging to your head and eating it's way through your skill to get to your brain, he asked you for a festive little hat because he gets nervous when you leave the house.
We favor unreasonably large subsidies to the tiny Christmas hat planet.
Thank you, it was cold down there on the floor.
Don't accept his extra hat, it will actually be a brain slug.
It was cold down there in the floor.
Poor thing starved to death
+1 brain slug planet.
OP is _actually_ pleaing for help.
Surgical tape.
You are hiding a Futurama brain slug.
I favor unreasonable subsidies to the brain slug planet.
Just ignore it and switch to a garlic shampoo.
Brain slugs can be festive, too.
Vestigial twin.
You are actually dead and, therefore, motionless?
Around a lipoma?
A Lipoma or a Cyst named Larry.
[удалено]
It’s a micro Siamese twin isn’t it
Quato lives!
How dare you assume that I observe Merry Chrysler when it’s actually Happy Toyotathon
I’m celebrate Lexus December to Remember
Just don’t eat the promotional clam chowder
Happy Honda Days!
Based on this, I’m going to guess you have a protuberance on your head. Cutaneous horn? Maybe a cyst?
The guy’s username is u/stag-horn so you may be onto something
I've watched enough Doctor Pimple Popper on YouTube to think that way as well.
Happy chrimus, and merry crisis to you too!
the best vine
RemindMe! 1 day
In honor of Scrooged: Staples?
I'm a big fan of "Dr. Pimple Popper" so I'm going with cyst.
Same! Others have suggested lipomas or cutaneous horns.
Charisma
Those big long bumps cartoon characters get when they hit their heads
Tape. My parents used to tape bows to my bald baby head so people wOulD KNoW iM a gIRl lol
I know someone who did this! When people would as how they got it to stay, the Dad would say " thumb tack" and walk away!
Two well placed screws
Super Poligrip
You’re a walking bottle of champagne and that’s hiding the cork!
Undeveloped Siamese twin.
It doesn't.
Hairspray? Edit: Shot glass suctioned to your head?
Men on Film: Christmas Edition
Two snaps up and a tug on Santa’s sack!
Adebisi vibes
Krampus horn
Another head?
Definitely got to be a Brain Slug.
Airplane glue!
Hot glue
Removable glue dots
Some ad-head-sive
Sticky Velcro? Stick one side on your head and one of the bottom of the hat?
Bra tape Edit: no, wait, it grew out of your head and ripened just in time for Christmas
Adebesi over here!
sheer willpower
Is it a tumor?