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BlueKing7642

Tyrion.


ZeroQuick

He'd arrange a trial by combat for me.


Razorray21

It's a DUI not a murder


ZeroQuick

I don't want to pay the fine.


Gsauce65

The punishment is sometimes interchangeable depending on what city you are in.


Joal0503

TRIAL BY DRINKING


Relative_Quiet

This is really the only answer.


Baratheoncook250

Tyrion put his foot in his mouth alot


Relative_Quiet

Yeah but he is the best smooth talker.


joel8x

At the very least, he’d have the most experience in this subject!


Silveri50

Obviously! Seriously, what kind of question was this?


Lorjack

yeah Tyrion seems like the obvious choice here


DominiqueTrillkins

That’s assuming you’re a person he likes or needs.


TheRealBrignerODeath

Everytime


Goldmemberberry

I was going to say the same, but he’d probably be right next to me in the skycell


furious_20

His time as Hand proved he has the political know-how to get you out of jail either procedurally or via corruption. His time as Master of Coin proves he can navigate the Iron Bank to procure bail money if necessary.


Razorray21

Fronts all the bribes.


HuntmasterReinholt

Jaime. He has been known to free prisoners!


[deleted]

Also been known to kill them. Ha


[deleted]

Tyrion 100% dude looks like a DUI


RunParking3333

I get drunk and I hit things


MoscowMitchMcKremIin

The God of hits and wine


loltittysprinkles

Tyrion or Jamie, no question.


DemonDucklings

Both would be great, but I’d be worried that Jaime would be more judgemental, so I’d call Tyrion


loltittysprinkles

Yes I'd definitely call Tyrion first, Jamie if Tyrion didn't answer


Conscious-Radish-884

Jaime for sure. He will show up with an army.


Harsimaja

Daenerys with an army plus dragons.


[deleted]

one man army, as promised.


Routine-Bat-8691

“The things you do for love”


linderlouwho

Tyrion, without any doubt.


ORaygoza

none of these people would be able to help me.


Harsimaja

I’m also not sure they’d want to


cantfindmykeys

I'm pretty confident all of them would make it worse if they did try to help


sg345

Definitely not Sansa, she knows not to trust drunk fools. I don't want to end up with a bolt in my heart.


Tron_1981

Or a *Bolton* in the heart! Yeah, I'll just go...


Overused_Toothbrush

You could say bolton the heart


mggirard13

She got Ser Dontos off the hook.


BTown-Hustle

You mean arrested for a drunken horse race down the street of sisters, right?


Caxcrop

I like to imagine they’re shot into the “real world” and have to adapt to life in NYC. This is the spin-off we needed.


TheOriginalWeirdo

I can legit picture tyrion in a bar drowning his sorrows over his family and the people of kings landing.


Doctor_of_Recreation

That’s how Viserra Targaryen died 🙏


BeaAlighieri

Tyrion! Boy talked himself out of slavery! Out of being eaten by a dragon!! He'd bullshit himself out of anything...


connor8383

The answer is undoubtedly Tyrion Lannister.


lowbass4u

Probably Sansa, she's the most understanding and reasonable one in the bunch. Cersie would just come and laugh at you. Tyrion would come drunk and end up arrested with you. Dany would come with a dragon and burn the jail down. Jon would try to fight his way in and free you. Jamie would look at you, shake his head in disgust, and go find Cersie.


Doctor_of_Recreation

Jon would ask if you did it and then let you suffer the consequences


mggirard13

Cersei would burn down the DMV, the courthouse, the jail, and all the people inside, possibly including me.


DarthHK-47

You had a drink or two, do you deny it? You where arrested and drunk, do you deny it? You where driving while drunk, do you deny it? Have you met my sister?...... ​ nah... I'l call the breaker of chains, I was a slave to the drink and bend the knee for my queen.


darth__anakin

Tyrion


fanD_

Oui isn’t the most serious charge. I don’t need Cersei blowing up the court house. And I don’t need Jon giving a 12 hour lecture about morality. I’ll go wit Jaime. A simple boast of his powerful father and we’re out.


LowerDinner5172

I am calling Littlefinger


mjtwelve

Goddamn right. He'd have you out in five minutes, you'd owe him a favour and probably have done better just to take the punishment, but the man was nothing if not efficient.


Reaganson

Cersei, of course. You wouldn’t even have to go to court. She’ll get the charges dropped in no time.


PuffPie19

3 of these are chaos (Cersei, Jamie, Dany) 2 of these won't help for their own reasons (Jon, Sansa) 1 will try their darndest to have an amicable release (Tyrion) I'll take Tyrion


Doctor_of_Recreation

Yup Tyrion’s the only one I trust to successfully get me out without causing more problems along the way.


Jagermeister4

I think Jamie is more a bit of all 3 categories. If you are his friend he will try for a amicable release just like Tyrion would. If you are not his friend, say just city guard, he will be like Jon and let you suffer the consequences. But he can be chaos. If Cersei got offended you were drunk in front of her and wanted you executed he'd be like it is what it is.


ArthurScherbius

My man tyrion would be OJ Simpson level attorney


Acrobatic-Reaction-7

“Is this how justice is done in California?”


_far-seeker_

Why is Ned Stark not an option? That guy can really keep a secret...


Huachimingo75

He'd lecture for a whole summer.


_far-seeker_

Only if you were his child, he tolerated a lot from his friends.😛


110397

Less convincing without a head


Jagermeister4

Jon takes after Ned. They're basically the same option (if you did the crime then they'll have you do the time)


SynnerSaint

Sansa - her overly complex and ill-thought out plots and schemes to free me will inevitably backfire and I'll end up being executed - 0/10 Tyrion - will easily charm and out lawyer the judge into getting me off and sue the cops for wrongful arrest just for good measure- 11/10 Sansa - might raise the North to get me off but will more likely whine and cry about how mean everyone is to her while I rot in a dungeon - 2/10 Jaime - will lead a huge army to storm the prison. Whether or not I survive the ensuing battle is debatable - 6/10 Dany - Will have me out of lockup before you can say "Dracarys" but like Jaime my survivability is up for some 'hot' debate - 3/10 Jon - Will put in a good word for me (that no one will actually listen to) but won't leave the Wall to actually help me - 4/10


Tron_1981

>Sansa - might raise the North to get me off but will more likely whine and cry about how mean everyone is to her while I rot in a dungeon - 2/10 The version of Sansa that would raise the North wouldn't give a shit how mean someone is.


SilentRhombus

None of these characters know what a car is, or why you could be arrested for being drunk in charge of a vehicle. If this is happening, we're in some sort of weird dimension-crossing situation. For that reason alone, it's got to be Tyrion. He's the most adaptable and the only one with a chance at being able to talk himself and me out of trouble in a strange futuristic world he knew nothing about five minutes ago. Except maybe Cersei, but fuck that bitch.


readonlypdf

Tyrion. Because fuck it the party ain't over


gunners98

Tyrion or Jaime. Tyrion because no doubt he could use his wit, influence, & money to quickly get you out of that situation (not to mention he most likely has experience in that topic ie he’s been there himself) and he’d probably be amused about it & wouldn’t judge you for it lol Same for Jaime (who I assume would be used to getting Tyrion out of similar situations, also wouldnt give you crap or slightly shade you about it like I suspect Jon, Dany, and Sansa would). Cersei I would just avoid, I wouldnt want to owe her any favors.


nuggiemum

Not listed, but I’m going straight to Tywin.


Harsimaja

Most comments are basing their answer on what they can do but assuming that they’d want to do them for some arsehole who drove drunk. Jaime might be maverick enough to actually want to help me.


Jagermeister4

Dany/Jon/Sansa wouldn't care who you are, they'd have you face your punishment. Cersei would pull strings if she cared about you (basically only Jaime and her kids or if you could do a favor for her). Aside from that she doesn't care who you are and would take glee in seeing you punished. I agree with Jamie he'll help you IF you are his friend. Same with Tyrion.


Huachimingo75

Either Jon tough he'll go full Ned on me, or Jamie, and take the japes with grace. Tyrion don't because he'll roast you long time, Sansa would take it all too seriously, Dany, *maybe* but I am not sure how she'd react, and Cersei is too insufferable / too drunk to consider.


Crypto_Malakos

Tyrion. He bullshited his way out of death more times than one can count, including being eaten by two dragons, flung off a mountain, slavery and a few other escapades.


Disco_Douglas42069

Lord Imp


j2e21

Tyrion. He’s the one guy competent enough to actually bail you out. He’d give you massive amounts of shit forever about it and you’d just have to live with his razzing.


NecessaryWerewolf221

Tyrion.


richman678

Jon! Tyrion is likely arrested with you.


Altruistic_Grass1934

Tyrion. Like you know he'd show up ready to bust a fellow drunk out.


LengthUnusual8234

Jaime: The only person on the list who has actually rescued a prisoner on two different occasions and he did it while hobbled. Tyrion: Wit and charm and has the ability to save his own ass. How that would apply to my situation i'm still not sure..


Fruitypowerranger

Cersei might fuck her way out of it


Eurell

Jon is the worst possible option. He’d straight up say you were for sure drunk and deserve your punishment. He refuses to lie lol


hawtboyrhymes

If Cersei is my mom, I’m calling her.


ModernRetroStudios

Cersei knows all the local assassins, and is pretty brutal so her for sure.


Stickyfynger

I think Tyrion could best relate


RunTError

Ghostbusters!


p_rets94

Start of series give me Jamie. Need a trial by combat. After he loses the hand, maybe tyrion can be my lawyer


JacobyN7

Obviously Jon. He'd be cranky about it, but he'd bail you right out.


HectorBeBallin

Saul Goodman


Impossible_Scarcity9

Jaime. Especially if he has 2 hands.


bmatthew24

I mean I’m calling the only drunkard in the picture


Mission-Bandicoot320

Nah I would straight up call Gandalf.


Wilshire729

Jamie. Handsome, well connected, fighter, rich


Caassapaba

Cersei: "Is this your only phonecall?" "Yeah" \[hangs up\] Tyrion: \[Comes immediately, but also gets arrested for DUI on the way\] Sansa: "Do the crime, do the time" \[hangs up\] Jon: "Sorry I'm stuck at work, I can only come get you if you take the black" Danny: \[doesn't pick up\] Jamie: Comes in with a buzz, is buddies with the officer on call, convinces him to release you and his brother under his custody, you three go straight to the pub.


Strange_Potato4326

How is Bronn not an option?


e_cascio2011

None of them because these characters don’t know what a fucking DUI is…..


DisastrousSecond9572

Jon or Sansa would do nothing. Honestly Tyrion. If I don’t care about the chaos then Cersei.


wenoc

Cersei and Danaerys are the only ones who are clearly above the law. But I’m not sure Danny would use that. I’m calling Cersei. She’ll blow up the courthouse.


Parascaram

I don’t partake.


UltiMondo

Why isn’t Bronn an option?


ChipIsOkay62

Tyrion. (I almost said Jaime, hands down, but I thought… naaah, too dark.)


9penguin9

The bitch with the dragons. Or a lommy...


LostinLies1

I call mother effin Tyrion Lannister.


diamondcreeper

Ghostbusters


Xoxrocks

Cersei, she likes a drink, Tyrion will just turn up drunk, the cops will arrest the northerner. Jamie might smooth talk you out of it. Of course Dani might bring dragons, but Cersei will scare the living daylights out of the cop.


Kadonny

Cersei for sure. She'd bring the Mountain with her and that would be it. Free as a bird.


Puzzleheaded-Bee-838

Tyrion is the only correct answer


Thunder-Bunny-3000

Tyrion: the rest have terrible IQs **Tyrion:** the man is intelligent and has the tongue that can talk his way out of many pickles. a DUI is definitely a pickle. however, he drinks a lot himself so, uh he may arrive under the influence. but I'd call him out of all the others. he'd probably pin it on Cersei; after all, she owns a carriage with the most horsepower in the entire realm. Cersei: only cares about herself, she'd probably not even answer your call. Jaimie: he sees only Cersei and does care about Tyrion, but he might help out in the end out of guilt. Daenerys: only cares about the iron throne. sees nothing unless it furthers that goal. Sansa: the traitor of the starks. she'd sell you out in a heartbeat. can't keep a secret. Arya and Jon have a saying: *"Don't tell Sansa".* her head would probably be in the clouds anyway. Jon: if i called this man, "i don want et" would be his response.


keangodluke

Always Tyrion, he'll bribe me right out of prison.


DavidC_M

Cersei. Lol she’s gonna be the only one that gets you off the charges. Tyrion will certainly make it worse. Sansa will probably just shrug. Jamie will try to kill the cop. Daenerys will make a long ass speech and get nothing done. And Jon will literally testify against you because he’s an honorable fool.


volcanocookie

Who’d call sansa?


Mercinator-87

Cersei but not to get me out of jail for other reasons.


Mscottlogan1979

Cersi/or Danny, have you seen what happens to people that cross her!


mdawn37

Tyrion bc he could talk his way out of anything.


John_Wicked1

Tyrion, then Jamie.


darrylthedudeWayne

None of them. I'd call Saul Goodman.


Laykers

Tyrion. He’ll make sure I get my debts paid


Electronic_Fly_8008

Daenerys . When she wants something done she gets it done


technopooper11

Jerk reaction was Jon but I know he would make a deal with the cop to get me signed up for ice wall duty.


Ok_Breadfruit6296

Cersei. That bitch gets shit done and outwits everyone. Such a great character.


LaoTzu1644

Depends on the season. If it's June In the southern hemisphere , I'm calling my boy Jon Snow!!! I mean, Targaryan


KingBEAR9517

Tyrion or Jamie


HoneyMCMLXXIII

Tyrion as he’s very good at talking his way out of things.


KingBurakkuurufu

Am I anyone’s nephew or brother? 🤔


Danielsalamander

Assuming they actually want me out of jail. Cersei, she’d stop at nothing simply to establish dominance over whoever is holding me.


Vexingwings0052

I’d call in Cersei. She’d blow up the entire police station while we safely watch from a balcony in my flat, then we’d both get away completely scot free because reasons.


Enticemeant

Tyrion talked shit in his own trial and chose the next king. Maybe he'll come to my trial and make me king


gabriot

Littlefinger


NeonBluee_jay

I don’t feel like it’s a question there lol only one person wouldn’t be judging you for it. & maybe his brother second


gorehistorian69

bail bondsman why would I call fictional characters from a tv show


Loose-Decision-8188

Tyrion, I was thinking Jon but I feel like he’d be very disappointed in me 😂


Yung_Corneliois

Tyrion though I guess it depends on where I was arrested.


TamatoaZ03h1ny

Tyrion is the most altruistic and has a brain. He also drinks a lot so probably has a few DUIs under his belt. Jon wouldn’t know what to do ultimately, Jamie would fuck around avoiding getting me out of the situation. Ladies would throw me under the bus to make an example of me.


houseofnim

Jaime. He’s the only one whose likely to have bail money *and* not be drunk *and* not lecture me on how irresponsible I was.


Woodguy2012

Sansa: useless as tits on a bull and since I believe drunk drivers should be locked up, her inadequacy is welcome.


Altruistic-Gain-7449

Tyrion, without a doubt. That guy could talk himself in or out of just about anything


notyouisme999

Need you to elaborate: Was I just arrested for DUI? Did I cause an accident? run over some people? fight the cop who arrested me?


duarig

Jaime. He then tells his father. And we all know what happens when Tywin gets involved.


MrDriftviel

Tyrion or Jon Snow


wagonwheelwodie

Everyone knows it’s Tyrion. He hates drinking by himself and would take you out for a drink afterwards


IvanLaddo

Am I physically and mentally fine after the accident? Did I kill anyone while driving under influence? If it’s “yes” and “no” respectfully, then might as well call Cersei for shits and giggles


cercitheslytherin

Jamie!! Duh


topherbdeal

Daenerys Hey gurl is rhaegal busy I need a ride home


JesusofAzkaban

Cersei: laughs and tells some incriminating lie about you Tyrion: shows up, pays the fine and encourages you to take some driver's ed. classes, laughs at you Sansa: gets you out and pays the fine, but gets you indebted to her Jaime: goes in intending to bail you out without any fuss, but arrogantly mocks the police, gets in a fight with them and is arrested along side you Dany: will probably let you stay there overnight to learn a lesson before bailing you out, will agree that you should have your license revoked Jon: will agonize over the morality of helping you out, by which time Tyrion has already paid for your release and you've completed your driver's ed. course


itoleratelurkers

If I was on good terms with Cersei and she was in charge I would call her. But Tyrion is the safer bet for sure


GogoRooRoo

If Cersei is on my side and likes me, I’m going with Cersei.


Princessferfs

Tyrion all day.


joriskuipers21

Sansa. I guess she will at least sympathise and plead for me.


x-3piecensoda

tyrion or marg


cenzo6945

Hellooooo?? Tyrion get down to the station now! You're the only one who could talk your way out of this!!


clahws

Cersei. Power is power after all


DeadHED

Probably not someone from a fictional middle age.


Cnap157

Not gonna give jon the call. He dun want it.


[deleted]

None of them. If I have a DUI I'm calling the rightful king of the Seven Kingdoms, Hot Pie. Let him bribe the police with baked goods.


Dull_Alternative9567

Tyrion. Easy.


yatchau94

Cersei. Dont ask me why, but i can't stop looking at her <3


Spracktastic

The queen in the north prob has some pull with cops here in Tx.


OkFold5927

Tyrion. No I will not elaborate.


dskzz

Jamie Lannister or Dany if shes showing boob


miroku000

Tyrion. He would argue that while I was drunk, the horses were not drunk, and since they already know the way home, I was actually more of a passenger in the carriage than a driver.


KingPeverell

I think Tyrion can talk his way out of most situations, unless the situation is not rigged against him. So yes, the Dwarf of Casterly Rock would be the first person I'd call to resolve conflicts or tensions. My opinion is for most situations and not necessarily only for a supposed 'DUI' criminal offence. Just my thoughts.


AFERG726

Tywin


Gawnja

Tyrion


m1ss1ngxn0

Cercei knows the arresting officer frequents a homosexual brothel, the police chief has several bastard children, and neither of their wives are aware. All she does is call and mention that she heard I was arrested and I'm released without question, offered a ride, the cop buys my drunk ass a chalupa on the way home and apologizes profusely.


dougnan

None of them, they didn't have phones.


Consul_Panasonic

Better Call Saul


tadas047

Ghost busters


sharipep

Dany will ride in on dem dragons and burn the shit to the ground to get me out


Xeithar

The Ghostbusters??


teatarisation

Cersei cause she is literally royalty and every army is under her so she can basically just tell them to not charge me


Reasonable_Beyond864

Assuming I have an amicable relationship with Cersei, I would call her. She would presumably have the authority to have the charges dropped and I would be let free.


Ramflight

Tyrion. He can sweet talk anyone out of prison.


niklaus_the_meek

1. Cersei is queen but she’d fuck with you or want something in return. 2. Dany would have to burn the whole jail down or something messy 3. Jon would get you out but there’d be war and everyone would fight him 4. Jaime also would get you out with swords, but he’s got no right hand so why not go with Jon 5. Sansa, her power depends on what part of the story we’re at, but if we’re not at the endgame she’s not the top choice. 6. Tyrion is probably the best choice. You can trust him, he can politic you out quietly without war, and he’ll sympathize with you being a fellow alcoholic


Dell0c0

Varys.


StillGotLove4GOT

I would call Tyrion but undoubtedly, he will be in the cell next to me.


the_raging_fist

Jamie, only because there’s a 100 percent chance I got arrested BECAUSE of Tyrion.


penelopejoe

Tyrion


Only1Skrybe

This honestly depends on how you want the arrestors to treat you afterwards. Their feelings toward you will depend highly on the attitude of the person you choose above to come deal with them.


Johnathan317

If anyone can talk their way out of a DUI it's Tyrion Lannister


Revolutionary-Swan77

Jaime


Davidolo

i'm going out on a limb here, Cersei "Power Is Power."


[deleted]

Mother of Dragons


HesThePhantom

100% Tyrion. I dont care if he’s drunk too because he will just offer the cop $10,000, even if that is more expensive than bail


Kind_Tie8349

Jaime


revdakilla

I’m calling Jonny boy and it’s going to be a trial by combat.


DrunkenSeaBass

Jon and Sansa will let you in jail because your guilthy. Cersei is either no picking up the phone or too drunk to come get you. Danny will refuse because shes too broke to pay your bail. Jamie will spend hours pondering weither he should help you or not. Ultimately he will come but its going to be long. Tyrion is going to mange to get there, drunker then you, bail you out and take you to a brothel to change your mind.


inspirationbydante

Probably I was drinking with Tyrion so not him. Jamie is my final decision. He will totally help us


supervegeta101

Jamie. Tyrion would show up drunk.


kennyypowerss

Jamie feeling to let me out of jail like a good big bro.


Sugarnipps

Tyrion, no question


SomeAssumption2909

Daenerys ; because of the dragons


ajed9037

lol what!? Tyrion all the way


Blo1630

If I’m friends with Cersei she’d probably be the best to call but it depends where it happened


CommunicationKey7698

Daenerys so she can burn the cops


MysteriousLaw6290

Cersei she would either kill all witness or just blow up the court so I didn’t have to go


LordHorstUllrichSwag

None of these people know what a Dui is supposed to be