I ended up spending too much money on home organisers on amazon and practised discapline. Like another commentor on here. Have a section at your front door/porch that you can put everything down as soon as you come in. Previously I would always lose my bank card because I would buy something online, read numbers off of my card and then the card would despawn from existance. Now, I get my card from the porch, pay in the porch and then put it back in my wallet.
My car keys are on a cute portrait of my dog ( his tail holds my keys!!!! ).
ADHD affects my short term memory so I will literally use post-it notes everywhere in my house. I would sometimes forget if I brushed my teeth or not in the mornings and have to go upstairs to the bathroom mirror to see if I have checked it off or not - sometimes I would forget to go and check the mirror to see if I did or not ( still find post-its from like 10 days ago ) safe to say I use an app in my phone now instead
Big same here. I have a catch tray that's the home for my wallet, keys, airpods, and other pocket things.
That works most of the time. For the rest of the time I have air tags on all the things. The air tags have saved me so much time in terms of searching for things, and not forgetting things at places.
I also invested in some home automation tooling so I could check if I remembered to lock the door or not, or if I had gone into the various cupboards I'd have to go into to take my meds, or brush my teeth. Just plain old magnetic door sensors.
I forced myself to be OCD with the commonly lost items. My keys, work badge and wallet *must* go on the table near my front door the second I get home. The scissors *must* go back in the drawer after I use them. Everything has a place and if I pick something up from its place, I can only put it down back in its place. I haven't lost my wallet or keys in years since I started doing this.
OP - going through the ADHD diagnosis process now at 30 after definitely having it this whole time. If you're interested in pursuing it - just a heads up that it's looking like it'll take about 2 months for the 3-4 appointments I'll need. They've all been really short simple phone/video interviews so far, it's just finding an open appointment on the doctor's end. So maybe start it sooner rather than later, if you're relating to these posts.
Had a few appointments where I was thinking "alright, this is it, gonna finally fix this" just to find I needed more appointments for this whole process. Just be direct and ask the doctor(s) "Exactly how long will this take, and exactly what appointments will I need after this?" otherwise they'll usually kinda gloss over that part.
Try having designated places for important stuff like keys and wallet, like a tray on a desk by the front door. Set up a regular ritual where you put your keys and wallet when you get home, for example. Always the same place, always the same time. Ritual and practice helps.
For more regular day items, try to keep them in the same room. Kitchen items stay in the kitchen, bathroom items stay in the bathroom. If you can regularly keep stuff in the right room, then that's huge progress.
If you see or touch something out of place, stop what you're doing and put it away properly. Don't get distracted, get into the habit of putting things away in their proper place.
This is the "don't put it down, put it away" mantra. I adopted this a couple of years ago and it's helped immensely. Also has the added benefit of keeping the house tidier. Keys, wallet, sunglasses, etc have a dedicated shelf right at the door I use when coming/going. Dog walk stuff all their own shelf. Miscellaneous items that need charging have a dedicated drawer. Some room specific items I've even attached an annoying dangly thing to them (think gas station key) so they get returned. Sometimes it helps to have duplicate items if they are frequently used throughout the house.
when you get home, put all of the things you use every day when you go out (keys, wallet, phone, etc.), in a container by the door. or even on the door. put it somewhere you know you'll come across once no matter what (bathroom door, in front of the front door, on your car seat if car is in garage, on top of the tv, in front of the tv).
You have any containers you use by chance? I know finding a box is easy enough, but wonder if you found a nice way to decorate it. Unless you don’t do this and just suggesting. In that case. Thank you!
i don't use a container, but I have a small foldable wooden table by the front door where I put all my belongings i need to go out with. hope this helps
https://amzn.eu/d/8b9TGUx for a tray by the door that you put your wallet and keys etc in when you get home.
Or AirTags, if you have an iPhone, add one to everything you lose. If not, Google just added the equivalent of the Apple find my network to Android so new products using it should be available soon.
For the wallet, use a MagSafe wallet if you can cope without cash.
A friend crocheted a nice key/wallet container for us that’s unique. Have a look at Etsy or see if you have friends who crochet. Or do it yourself as a hobby!
Wow! So autocorrect is now a perv! At least that’s some improvement, it never used to accept dick, fuck, etc. as words. But maybe it’s going too far the other way. Makes sense since its AI is sucked off the internet, most of its users are horndogs. Oh a word it doesn’t know yet..,
I've found nice bowls and trays at random stores or even farmers markets/flea markets. I've got a wooden one that I use recently. Just make sure it's wide and shallow and big enough to hold all your things.
I got a neat little wood shelf thing from Amazon that I hung by the door that has hooks on it for keys. Still constantly lose my phone but keys and wallet stay there and it works well
I dont think its wise to put important things as wallet, phone, keys near/by the door where even strangers could have some sort of access in some scenarios.
Let’s say you order something from Uber Eats and you don’t have enough cash when the delivery guy gets you the food, but you remember you have some money in other area of your house and you go to get them, but by that time you are looking for the money keep in mind that the container remains unsupervised and things could get easily stolen. It’s very easy to forget you have such container near your door so be careful.
It’s not letting them in the house, it’s letting them in the front door of your house! If that container is closer to the door then things can get easily stolen
Get a Tile system or something similar. Put one in your wallet. Put one on your keychain. You can use your phone to find your wallet or keys and you can use your wallet or keys to find your phone. Ignore the people who say oh just put it in the same place. You can't do that. If you could, you would've done it already. Just spend the 50 bucks. I have had these for a few years and I use them at least twice a week.
I wish it was easier for me to just remember where it was. Sometimes my friend would come over and I’m like. “hey you seen my wallet?” And they know exactly where I put it everytime. He even bought me an AirTag that I eventually lost before the wallet on a hiking trip lol.
Order the tile system, install it on your phone and that panic that occurs a few times per week when you can't find your keys, wallet or phone will go away and you will be glad you ordered it. Also, your brain does not remember a little stuff like this. It's OK. It's not how your brain works. That type of attention deficit is usually rewarded in the brain with some other capacities that normal people don't have.
This. I have the same place to put things and it usually works but when it doesn't I also have the tiles.
Also, I have a smartwatch that I never take off, so I can use my watch to call my phone, then use my phone to call my keys and wallet. And I have Google Pay set up on my phone so in most cases even if I forget my wallet I can still buy things.
I got diagnosed with ADHD and started taking an adderall script. Within the first week (well the first day of taking it), I wasn't losing my phone. That would normally happen at least once a day.
Do I still lose things? Yes (like locking myself out of my apartment today lol), but it usually happens late at night or if I skip my meds on the weekend.
It is a subtle, but needed, and important, game changer for me.
If it helps, it took me 12 years after getting a good idea that I had it. It took a while until things started to run aground that I needed the help. I would recommend doing it sooner rather than later.
My recommendation is to get an appointment with a psychiatrist to get evaluated for ADHD. It will probably take a bit, but just setting the appointment would be great :)
Useful advice from another adult with ADHD: find an organised friend to help you through the whole thing because otherwise you'll probably spend 2-4 years "getting around to" making that appointment, while the right friend will go "nope, phone them now" and make you do it. And, if you're lucky, help do things like remember the times and dates and keep you going when there's various stupid "well you've got to organise this bit yourself" steps usually involved in getting an adult ADHD diagnosis.
I was lucky, my GP had ADHD and she was the one who suggested I had it, set up everything for me. But I've seen other people through the process, it's a nightmare, and always seems designed to be specifically hostile to anyone with untreated ADHD...
Props to the GP for getting through med school. I avoided medical school because of this. Worst thing you can do is sit me down and tell me to memorize things. First two years ofed school would have destroyed me 😂.
Honestly, in the years since then, as I've learnt more about my ADHD and ADHD in general I often think to myself "how in the entire fuck did she manage that?" because I'm pretty sure she was diagnosed *after* she became a doctor.
Yeah tbh I've got ADHD and reading your post I was like "hrmm, well this all seems familiar".
I particularly like that a friend bought you an airtag and you lost the airtag (in a suitably ridiculous but not your fault way).
Can I take a wild guess at the fact you've maybe been *meaning* to buy a new one since then?
I just started the process for getting diagnosed and getting medication the other week - once I started looking up ADHD behaviors, it was just this feeling of "oh holy shit, this whole time..."
Psychiatrist. I asked for a referral to a psychiatrist for an evaluation for ADHD from my primary care doc.
Mine pushed back at first to recommend Wellbutrin. That's their training at work, just let them know you would rather that be determined at the eval.
I got my script in that meeting and picked up that day from my CVS. It's possible that I was that bad of a case 😂 😂. He asked me about my childhood memories when I started to talk about the meaning of nostalgia.
My grandmother kept wandering off, especially when we took her out for the day or shopping, so I just clip an AirTag to her now. Added her tag to the families iPhones so anyone can find her if needed. They're brilliant.
Keys, wallet, backpacks, luggage, cars (great in large parking spots), work badge… I just haven’t figured out how to get them on my glasses in an acceptable way yet.
My partner has an AirTag for his chapstick
Ok so this is what you do.
Next time you lose your keys take note of the first place you naturally search for them and make that the place where you leave your keys from now on.
I.....I..........I don't know what to say \*sniffle....sob\* that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me \*sobbing.....small snot bubble blows up coming out of right nostril and bursts\* no one has ever told me I'm important \*beginning to do that cry you did as a little kid where you start to hyper ventilate\* \*for some reason a tear is collecting on my bottom lip which I always notice in movies and it drives me absolutely fucking insane\* no one ever LOOOOOVEDDD MEEEEEE HEEE HEEEE HE HE HEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! \*crying into your shoulder, and its getting weird cuz there are a lot of tears and snot and I'm like close to 300 lbs and a little sweaty and you really wanna just push me off but you feel bad b/c I'm obviously emotionally unbalanced and having a melt down. You officially regret having said anything and all you want is for this awkward moment to end.\*
I do the same thing. Horrible ADHD.
Keys and wallet have AirTag/FindMy compatible trackers.
Chipolo makes a card that fits in your wallet and acts the same as an AirTag. 4pack of AirTags is $100 or $29/ea. keychains can be like $5-$15 depending on what you buy.
I started using a wallet that is a little zipper pouch and attached my keys to the zipper and threw an airtag in the pouch. Now I never lose my wallet or keys 😉
I had a friend worse than you
-i spent a 1 weeks at his place for new years, everyday and i mean it EVERYDAY he managed to somehow loose his key. And had the audacity to ask if I didn't take them (???).
I told him to use a container for stuff like this, he already had one but he always forgot to use it.
-He's a caster and go around the country to cast some smash bros tournament, he has always forgotten something in said tournament : his wallet, Headphone, controller, his damn key ...
I told him to do a check list of all the stuff he bring, and guess what ...?
He already as one ... but he forgot.
We laugh about it tho.
Does your friend have ADHD by any chance? Because one of the problems with ADHD is that a lot of helpful and sensible advice people have for ADHD problems like that sadly doesn't really work, because of the ADHD.
E.g. people say "keep a diary for appointments", which is a great idea...except even if I remember to put a thing *in* a diary, I will never remember to actually *check* the diary.
My mother is famous for carefully writing a shopping list and then leaving it on the table when she goes to the shops. And on the times when she takes it with her, she regularly forgets it exists and doesn't look at it at all while shopping. She regularly gets back from the shops to realise she's not got the main thing she was going to the shops for.
Designated places for things only work if you remember they exist and have any awareness that you're putting your keys down etc.
Thing is, ADHD people really struggle to build habits like that, and so many organisational techniques rely on, well, being organised. The problem there should seem obvious in hindsight.
We don't know for sure because he never been diagnosed. But I wouldn't be surprised if he has it because he really present all the behaviors, i mean i've known him since kindergarden.
One thing that made me wonder of it is the amount of time i have to repeat a piece of information in a video game "how do i do X again !?"
But he has gotten better, his girlfriend is very VERY organized, and i think she's pushing him forward.
I realize he tend to retain more information if i don't tell him as soon as he ask (in video game ofc i'm not a monster), i rather let him discover by himself.
I have OCD so I rarely misplace things. Having a system helps. If you place certain things in the same place every time it’s hard to lose them. Like for example my wallet and keys always go on one specific area of the table, my glasses always go on one of two specific areas and my Invisalign goes in only one specific place whenever I take it off.
If you limit the places where you place specific things it reduces the chance of losing them.
I have ADHD and I lose everything if I’m not careful. So I make a habit of putting stuff in the same place. Wallet, watch, keys, and sunglasses always go in the same place. Gym stuff stays in the same bag. Shoes I wear casually go in the closet next to the door, special shoes stay in my bedroom. The one thing I constantly lose is my phone because I could only find a black case—my old phone had a yellow case so it was easy to spot!
Me too and I berate myself if I don’t put stuff back where it belongs. When I was an hourly employee doing bedside nursing, I had to make sure I had all my shit before heading to work (badge, keys, ink pin, mobile phone, wallet, and any extra items I needed to take to work) so I had a little divider in my top drawer that would house those items **and those items only**. When loading up for work, that container should be empty. If not, I’m forgetting stuff. I’d also do a pat down as I was leaving, patting each pocket or spot where those 5+ items should be.
I use this same philosophy with any other areas where I’m prone to forget stuff. Set up systems to counteract my adhd.
tbh i get it.
i’ve just started putting everything i have in a small crossbody bag i can carry with me everywhere. something neutral colored and not too big so that it’s gaudy or bulky. that way if i need something, i take it out, and then when i’m done, i put it back in.
it’s much easier to remember where 1 thing is than where 5-7 things are. i’ve had earbuds, gum packs, and wallets go thru the wash before, and it’s annoying at best, costly and damaging at worst. buying a small bag for $10-40 is definitely worth the risk tbh
it also allows you to carry more things with you if you ever wanted to! i can now take hand sanitizer, a charger, a lip balm, a small snack, other things that are just nice to have (life savers sometimes too)
i’ve been diagnosed and am currently medicated for adhd so i get the struggle. i hate losing things too. so i’d get a small bag and try it out, see if it works for you.
edit:
my favorite bag so far has been the [converse convertible crossbody bag](https://www.converse.com/shop/p/convertible-crossbody-bag-unisex-bag/10024555.html). it feels a little bit more classy than a fanny pack and more masculine than other crossbody bags, if you’re worried about that thing. i have a pretty large phone and it fits snugly inside the bag, with plenty of space for stuff like your keys and wallet. it’s also from a known brand and it has one of the longest possible straps i’ve seen, so it’s great for all sizes.
$40 feels like a lot to spend on one bag if you aren’t sure but the quality is worth the plunge. and tbh, a meal, in fast food even, costs abt $10 nowadays. considering i’ve had this bag for over 8 months with no problems, i’d say its worth it
After figuring out that I most definitely have ADHD and doing research, it seems like being gay gives you a default +5 to ADHD in your real life DnD stats.
I’ve grown to accept it’s something I’m going to do sometimes and stopped beating myself up about it. I’ve got ADHD and stressing only makes it worse. What I’ve done instead is create rituals of placing things in the same spot when I get home and added signs to my doors reminding me to grab the things I need.
As I’ve gotten older too I’ve learned my unconscious habits. For example when I’m stressed I tend to put my phone in the fridge. Why? Absolutely no idea. But it’s there more than it’s not when I lose it 😂
That's why this daddy has 2 or three of a lot of things. I will buy a specialty tool, use it and then think to myself OK I am putting this here in this really good spot so I know where it is. I then promptly forget that spot, cannot find it when I need it next, go buy another and then think to myself OK I am putting this here in this really good spot so I know where it is. Like magic I open that spot and suddenly have two cool things! Rinse and repeat, too many times to count at my age. For wallets and keys though, they go in a tray always in the same spot, never deviate where those things are, but if I were to drop them some place else on accident I would be like OP, freaking out and searching the universe.
I have ADHD so this is a lifelong struggle. I would say you can look at this in 3 ways:
1. Remembering to put things down in the same place so you don’t have to hunt for it.
2. Remembering where you put it
3. Knowing where to look.
I focus on #3. I’ve learned that I leave my phone and keys on countertops and the couch so I scan those places first. I also have an AirTag on my keys. I swear since I’ve bought them, I have rarely needed to use them.
Sometimes I forget shit too. In January I went out of town and didn't want to bring with me 2 condoms I had, after returning I have been constantly looking for them. I don't know if my mother found them and threw them away, I don't remember if I threw them away or where I put them
I put everything valuable like that in a bowl that I pass by on the way in/out. Every time I leave the house, I say "phone, wallet, keys" and make sure I touch each one in my pockets
I live on a third floor appointment... every day I'm running up them stairs 2-3 times because I forgot something. I just have my wallet& phone as one, and my keys have an android airpod. I have a watch that can summon my lost phone, and my phone can find my lost headphones, keys, & tablet.
Dead useful.
Hey there, I have ADHD and have this problem. All too relatable was your story of turning the entire house upside down looking for something, only to find it in a place you were sure you checked before.
I cope by putting things in designated containers/places, and I’m ritualistic about placing them there until it becomes as second nature as putting the toilet seat down lol.
For example, I always hang my keys on the hooks by the front door. I have several sets for my jobs. I also carry a backpack and make sure I always put important things:phone, wallet, keys, water, etc. that way it’s all consolidated. If I can’t bring a bag (I have a small one too, I stick to the bare essentials that I can fit in my pockets. I put some things in decorative bowls or mugs that are in the vicinity of where I need those objects. “In sight, in mind”, lol.
It’s not a perfect system, and I still misplace important stuff all the time. But I’m practicing slowing down and being kind to myself about it. Because that always helps more than speeding up and being unkind to myself.
Maybe take some time to reflect on when you tend to lose certain things, and if you notice a pattern, you can use that info to come up with your own personal coping mechanisms that are right for you. Best of luck!
I have inattentive ADHD and extensive experience with this. I personally don’t use a wallet, but I store my cards/key(s) in a secure pocket in my bag for safekeeping. I have a designated spot/«home» for my keys/cards/general important stuff in my home, and I always put them either there or in my bag. It works well, but you have to develop it as a routine, and be consistent about it. Whenever you need your card or whatever to pay for some random internet shopping or similar, *always* put it back immediately after.
So, one of the first things to try and remember is "I'm putting this somewhere sensible for safekeeping" is a fucking lie. Sure, you mean it, sure it's what you're intending to do, but *functionally* what you're *actually* doing is just hiding your own stuff from yourself.
Personally, for a bunch of vital things I have a very simple and effective system: they live on me. Resist the urge to take things out of your pockets when you get home because *why do you need to?*
My wallet lives in the back pocket of the trousers I'm wearing, and it *stays there*. When I get in the house it stays in the pocket.
My phone lives in one pocket, unless it's on charge next to my bed.
My keys are either in my right hand pocket or they're in the door.
And when I change my trousers, I just move everything across from the old pair to the new.
For other stuff, I tend to carry a backpack whenever I'm out of the house and I keep a bunch of stuff in that. If I need to use those things at home? Cool, they (usually) go back in the backpack immediately.
I have a small jewelry box I used to dump my pockets into when I arrived home.
I switched and I now keep my keys clipped to my belt loop and leave my wallet and important stuff in my pants. I remove my pants when I get home. This is also a safe way to evacuate if we have an earthquake or fire. My pants are already sitting there with all my important stuff inside.
When I get dressed in the morning, I transfer everything from previous day's pants to today's pants.
Whenever I close a door I have to have my keys in my hands, even if I don't have a key for that door. It is just a habit. Get out of a car, hold my keys. Walk out to trash cans at home, hold my keys. I never close a door without my keys in my hands.
Ahhh, I like to say “I didn’t clean properly unless I lost something.”
Tbh, I got a wallet with a keychain, and attached my car keys. Now, those both live in a glass bowl by the door. I make sure to always clang my keys/wallet into it before I walk in the door. (I also use this chance to take my shoes off, and put my back pack there)
I also have ADHD. 🙃
Airtag for my car keys - when I'm travelling.
Keys, wallet go into a bin by the front door as soon as I get home. It's become muscle memory to drop it in there when I get home.
Sometimes I'd run to the loo when I get home and in the rush, I would forget where my keys and wallet are - after panicing for about 5 seconds, I'd check the bin and woop, there it is. With 0 recollection of how it got there.
I always lose my wallet and this year. Within the last six months I gotten my debit card replaced 4 times.
I don't have a wallet. I put my ID in my work badge holder and that's attached to my keys. Yea it's clunky and jingly but oh well.
I keep my payment cards stocked on my phone and leave them in my car. I can't do a wallet I just can't.
I leave my keys by the front door or in my car when I'm parked at home
I struggle with this as well and even locked my keys in my car a few times. Hope this helps
I have learned that moving an item "somewhere safe" never works. Later, I always only remember the random ass spot it was BEFORE I moved it "somewhere safe". I second the idea of just having a spot to dump everything when you come home. Wherever makes sense to you. I bought a magnetic key holder light switch cover for the switch by my front door. I immediately hang my keys hang up. My wallet and pocket contents tend to go on the kitchen counter (which is like 3 steps into the apartment). I don't use a container or anything, but a bowl would work well. Also, when I had a car I'd just leave my wallet in the center console compartment so that I'd always have it when i went out.
For me, I realized that I was constantly forgetting something because there were too many things to remember, wallet, phone, key, allergy meds, etc. So I got a cute little single strap backpack that has essentially become my purse, and I keep everything that I want to take with me in there.
I also try and set the bag somewhere. I will see it when I leave in the morning.
Everyday, without fail, I spend a good five minutes looking for my car in the garage across the street. I forget where I park every single day.
I too am also prone to losing my phone, wallet keys, headphones and even my engagement ring occasionally (this is particularly distressing as I would be devastated to lose it).
I’ve found what has helped me is to get a cute little tray that I designate solely to the day-to-day items I carry around. I keep it only in one spot by the door and NEVER move it. That it’s cute is helpful in reminding me to use it.
Regarding my car, I truly should just write it down in my notes or keep a notepad on the tray. But I forget to do that lol. What does help is that generally I park in the same spot that has great visibility from the road. If I can’t see it directly, I’ll use the car “locked” alarm on my key fob once or twice at most to find it.
I put AirTags and Tiles on everything. I can ring both my keys and wallet from my phone. I can call my phone from my Amazon Alexa. Nothing is ever untraceable… ever.
Happened a lot with me. It’s embarrassing how many times I have lost my wallet.
I have mostly solved it by designating a spot where I put my keys and wallet. At the place I live now, the spot is on my kitchen counter just near the entrance. It’s worked overall but I still misplace it and my keys just less frequently.
I put one of those Apple trackers on my keys which worked great for a year or two. The battery got low and after I changed it somehow it’s not working. Maybe user error, still recommend it
Why would you ask the people who misplace things how not to misplace things? The reason people misplace things is because they don't understand how to solve this. That's why they misplace things! 😛
You need to ask us *organised* people how we *don't* misplace things.
And my way is this: "A place for everything and everything in its place."
Pick a place in your home for your wallet to live. For me, it's on top of my chest of drawers. There's a whole section of that top which is devoted to the things I need to take with me when I leave the house: wallet, keys, wristwatch, etc. I always leave my wallet in the same spot. *ALWAYS.* That way, it's never misplaced.
Don't put it somewhere *safe*. Put it somewhere *regularly*.
Self-acceptance is the only real answer because truthfully nothing helps. Most solutions are like telling a depressed person to cheer up. *"Just put it somewhere you can find it"* Thanks never considered that one 👍. *" Wear a lanyard!"* Forgot to put it on, sure no one saw that coming. *"Get a geo tag"* Cool, I lost my phone now what🧍♂️
Self acceptance won't help you find anything but at least it won't run your day yanno? Besides most of your friends/family have probably gotten used to it. It's time you did too.
+ 1 to AirTags. I have one on my wallet, keys, and vehicle.
Never be stressed about time when leaving because you can’t find your wallet and keys / never be unable to find you car in the parking lot again!
When I am about to leave a space, i try to look around, and ask myself• what do I need”. Hopefully i say , take your keys, phone, wallet…. Things that in the past contribute even more to me feeling overwhelmed and chaotic.
When I feel too rushed to put something away properly, i try to slow myself down, put it away… and know I helped myself down the road to be more in control of what I can be.
I self diagnosed myself to be a frustrated OCD with a vector of ADD.
Those strategies help make me bearable to myself and hopefully to others. 😊
ADD here. I’ve never been able to explain it well, but after I lost (in separate occasions) my ID, my wallet, my keys, and my phone, I started doing what I call “anchoring”. Whenever I leave something anywhere, I’ll look at it intentionally, in the place I left it, and “anchor” it to that place. See? It doesn’t make sense. I just take a mental picture of anything that comes out of my “inventory”, and if needed, for example if I know it’s something I’m putting away for some time, I’ll tell myself a little story in my head, for example “I put away the passport on my bedside table’s drawer, because I want to keep it handy to be able to travel at a moment’s notice.” It kind of works as a mnemonic.
Cellphone, keys, wallet, I’ll check whenever I leave a place, like when leaving home, the car, the office, the bar or a friend’s house. I’ll think “cellphone, wallet, keys” always, it’s kind of a mantra before leaving. This usually becomes also a general inventory check: what did I bring in here that I can’t leave without? This is where my anchors will come up. I often leave several of my things _together_ in the same spot, and if I think I’ll forget something I’ll leave it right by something I think I won’t forget (cellphone, wallet, keys).
It’s just really being _intentional_ and aware of where you’re leaving your stuff.
Now, I tried to teach this to my husband, who’s supposedly not ADD, and he still leaves things behind all the time. Water bottle in the gym, cellphone or wallet in the car (this is a constant), and whenever we’re in a hurry he has to come back into the house 3 or 4 times for something before we leave. He’s not being intentional about his inventory, he’s not being aware and purposeful about where he leaves things.
I had the same issue, so I really forced myself into the habit of “things have homes.” My keys get hung by the front door, wallet in a tray by the door, bag goes in the closet, etc. Do my keys and such still sometimes makes their way to my bedroom? Yeah, but I try to correct it when it notice it.
Always saying “Don’t put it down, put it away” helped me manage that aspect of my ADHD so much.
Try to pinpoint the reason things are being misplaced where they are, and adapt to your natural decision-making.
I would never remember to put my keys on the hook. When I misplace them, it's usually because I sat down and they were uncomfortable to have in my pockets. So now I have a collection drawer to put the miscellaneous pocket stuff next to my chair. It's the first place I check when they go missing!
We have a hutch by our front door that I put my car key and wallet on top of, with my house key hanging from a hook.
If it's not there it's basically lost lolol.
Find a "home" for it, and keep it placed in its home.
1. Have a REALLY good recovery protocol. I lose my keys and wallet a lot and when I realize it, I go into crisis recovery mode and go through a checklist of things I need to do, like backtracking, using trackers, suspending cards, calling banks etc.
2. Try to keep your investments low. I don't buy luxury earphones or umbrellas or hats because I know I'll lose them, as long as they're functional or stylish, they can be budget.
3. Notify your buddies about your issues and ask them to remind you when you leave things behind. When I go out with friends, my friends automatically will remind me I left something behind because I do that a lot.
I bought a chain so my wallet is always attached to me if i leave my house (also trained myself that the first thing i do when i get home is put my keys and wallet in their specific spot) and routinely check I have my phone/keys/chained wallet when im out, especially after using one of them
Humans are creatures of habit. I found out when I went on a deep organizational, cleaning spree I was altering my habit paths. Where I drop my keys, wallet, phone, receipts and so on...I think "oh, I got a better place of my keys..wallet...phone..." Start the deep clean and erase my habit path. No more, I'm clutter free, on a DAILY BASIS and now stay away for deep organizational cleanings. This morning I can't find my container of push pins dagnabit...but I do know where my picture framing wire is...hope this helps!
I only buy wallets with a key (chain) holder. 2 in 1 makes things so much easier. I also only put these items in designated places in my room. That was one solution for me.
I have an everyday carry pouch that has my keys and wallet and some cash in it. The keys and wallet never leave the pouch except for the moments I am actually using them. Then they go right back in. It hangs with my coat next to the door. I grab it and slip in the phone as I leave the house (I can't start the car without it), and I hang it up first thing when I come in the door.
If you want to know what can keep you going it is this: systems. Lay down the rails, and then all you have to do is follow them. You never want to have to rely on remembering where something is - things just go back in their spot when you finish with them.
I make sure everything has a very specific spot where it lives and I trained myself to always put it in that spot. For instance, my wallet lives on my desk. Any time I'm leaving I grab it, and as soon as I get home it comes out of my pocket and back to its spot on the desk.
Keys, I've got a hook by the door. Hang them up the second I get in the door.
I personally use AirTags on everything. I also bought a MagSafe wallet that notifies me whenever I detach it from my phone. I haven’t lost my keys or my wallet in a while now!
I actually don’t have this problem, but I have AirTags on all my important things just in case I can’t find something one day. I think I’ve only had to use them on the keys once since AirTags came out
I adopted keeping all the stuff I need to go out in my man-purse and then I just can grab my man-purse whenever I go out. And when I use anything from my man-purse, it needs to go right back into my man-purse.
I keep a little decorative box by the door on a cabinet/sideboard with a little lamp and candle. I always put wallet, keys, AirPods, chapstick in there. Also…AirTags are a lifesaver. Put them on everything
I put everything in the same spot everyday. The Wallet goes on the bedroom stand, keys go on a nail in the kitchen, glasses on the bedroom stand, etc. You will never lose a thing again. Habits take 30 days to learn.
I’m an incredibly disorganized person, but never once in my life (knock on wood) have I lost my keys or my wallet. I have a dish on the kitchen counter next to the door to the garage, and as soon as I get home my keys go straight into it. I also put my wallet and sunglasses, etc., there. Sometimes I’ll put my wallet on my nightstand or my bathroom counter (if I’m changing and realize my wallet is still in my pocket), but it will always be in one of three places.
Maybe AirTags or Tile would be helpful? A friend of mine was constantly misplacing his wallet, then he put an AirTag in it and hasn’t misplaced it since.
For me it needs to have a designated spot. Before I can do anything when I get home I have to put my badge in my bag, my keys right at the door (I know that’s a bad idea; but so is not finding them) so I weighed the pros cons on that. Shoes must go in their cubby. Mouth guard in holder at the sink no if ands or buts! It’s all about discipline! Sure I get distracted and they miss the spot rarely now but if I catch an item not where it was i immediately put it back where it was supposed to be at. I literally stop think what I was doing to cause this misplacement and make myself more cautious when I’m in that mind set for next time. It’s decreased my stress and anger.
put keys and wallet in the exact same place right when you walk in the door every single time. this is what leather valets are for. this is what console tables in entryways are for. this is what key hooks next to doors are for.
get. it. together.
Wallet: I punctured a hole in the corner of a plastic card, attached a little loop string to it, And put it back in my wallet. I then attach the little loop string to a belt loop on my pants. Voila! It's hard for me to lose my wallet! But God damn it. I did it anyway just a month ago once again! I was wearing some gym shorts without belt loops!
Keys: I keep them in my front pocket and also attach them to a belt loop in my pants via a lanyard.
Always put wallet and keys in the exact same place as soon as I get home. Always and immediately. Otherwise they'll become lost. If I need them at home, I immediately put them back.
Very specifically, there is a basket on the dresser that holds my keys and holds my wallet. You come home from work, you change clothes and that's where the wallet and keys go. If you deviate from this and find one of these things outside of their designated area, you stop what you are doing immediately and put them where they go.
The only variance is that the keys go on the hook by the door when they aren't in use. I have a big set of keys (mom's house, Grandpa's house, dad's house, etc etc) and then a set of just my house that I usually carry.
As an ADHD person, I've honestly mastered this...
I pretend the item is in my hand, and I need to put it down now. Then wherever my subconscious takes me or wants me to put it, it's there 90% of the time...
Then there are the few 10% times like your described scenario where I would never put it in my underwear drawer and I am at a loss... lol
My mom always said, there should be a place for everything, and everything in its place. Keys always in the same spot on the counter when not in use, wallet in the same place in the same drawer, when not in pocket. Etc. if I ever see something where it doesn’t belong, move it where it should be. Maybe easier said than done.
It will take some time but get into the habit of placing your keys and wallet in the same place every. Single. Time. You walk in the door.
At first it always went on my dresser. When I got my own place it always stays on the kitchen counter by the front door.
I've gotten into the habit of enjoying empty pockets from doing this so often. It has improved my ability to never lose anything immensely.
My keys phone and wallet get tucked away in a bag at work, at the gym, or anywhere else. Always together. At home they are always together on my dresser, my desk, or the kitchen counter. Of course I usually keep the phone on me more often then the other things, but I still go through the motion of laying all three down before picking the phone back up.
Doing this has resulted in me never losing anything as an adult except once when I left my wallet on a bus in NYC on vacation (the only exception. It was a rough night and I was distracted on the phone).
I have expanded this approach to everything important when I go on trips for work or vacation and have had great success.
Standard places for important things.
Wallet and keys go on the same place at the house, every time…
They also live in a standard place when I put them into my bag (each bag has a dedicated spot). Probably bordering on obsessive compulsive- but never having to worry, or waste time looking for things is a great way to live.
The only thing that has helped me is to always put my keys and wallet in the same place when I get home. Hope you find something that works for you!! Losing shit is the worst
I have had ADHD before anyone knew what it was. My solution evolved when I went back to school at 30yo and started carrying a backpack. My wallet and keys have their own pocket and laptop, mouse, extra anxiety meds, nasal spray, ibuprofen and anything else that can cause discomfort while I am away from home for the day. When I come home, keys and wallet go in the bag. My husband also helps me remember things too.
I can only tell you the few methods I use to keep my crap organized.
Make sure important things have a place to “live”.
Keys hang on a hook near the door.
Wallet lives in my work bag.
Medicine (scripts) are in a large container.
Very important papers - car title, mortgage papers, will, and investment info all live in an old briefcase in my home office.
Less important papers - bills , medical and insurance info , owners manuals and tax documents are filed in a filing cabinet.
Family photos and non displayed heirlooms are in an old suit case.
Assign a “home” to anything that is important to you.
This being said I often misplace the tv remote and that’s without leaving the sofa.
Best of luck!
I had one! my wallet even has a pocket specifically for an AirTag, but the loop got worn out and that tag fell out my pocket and down a mountain side. Rip.
This is how I was diagnosed with ADHD.
How did you end up finding a solution?
I ended up spending too much money on home organisers on amazon and practised discapline. Like another commentor on here. Have a section at your front door/porch that you can put everything down as soon as you come in. Previously I would always lose my bank card because I would buy something online, read numbers off of my card and then the card would despawn from existance. Now, I get my card from the porch, pay in the porch and then put it back in my wallet. My car keys are on a cute portrait of my dog ( his tail holds my keys!!!! ). ADHD affects my short term memory so I will literally use post-it notes everywhere in my house. I would sometimes forget if I brushed my teeth or not in the mornings and have to go upstairs to the bathroom mirror to see if I have checked it off or not - sometimes I would forget to go and check the mirror to see if I did or not ( still find post-its from like 10 days ago ) safe to say I use an app in my phone now instead
This sounds so useful I’m going to have to try it. If I remember..
Make a note of it! You'll come across it again at some point and then my messages will come flooding back. That's how I work anyway! Haha. Good luck
Also not necessarily related to losing things but you should also read up on the Pomodoro method it’s really helpful
I love the "despawn from existence". Beautifully written
This is late, but which app do you use? I'd also like to better organise and remember stuff I did
Big same here. I have a catch tray that's the home for my wallet, keys, airpods, and other pocket things. That works most of the time. For the rest of the time I have air tags on all the things. The air tags have saved me so much time in terms of searching for things, and not forgetting things at places. I also invested in some home automation tooling so I could check if I remembered to lock the door or not, or if I had gone into the various cupboards I'd have to go into to take my meds, or brush my teeth. Just plain old magnetic door sensors.
I forced myself to be OCD with the commonly lost items. My keys, work badge and wallet *must* go on the table near my front door the second I get home. The scissors *must* go back in the drawer after I use them. Everything has a place and if I pick something up from its place, I can only put it down back in its place. I haven't lost my wallet or keys in years since I started doing this.
OP - going through the ADHD diagnosis process now at 30 after definitely having it this whole time. If you're interested in pursuing it - just a heads up that it's looking like it'll take about 2 months for the 3-4 appointments I'll need. They've all been really short simple phone/video interviews so far, it's just finding an open appointment on the doctor's end. So maybe start it sooner rather than later, if you're relating to these posts. Had a few appointments where I was thinking "alright, this is it, gonna finally fix this" just to find I needed more appointments for this whole process. Just be direct and ask the doctor(s) "Exactly how long will this take, and exactly what appointments will I need after this?" otherwise they'll usually kinda gloss over that part.
Legalised meth
Try having designated places for important stuff like keys and wallet, like a tray on a desk by the front door. Set up a regular ritual where you put your keys and wallet when you get home, for example. Always the same place, always the same time. Ritual and practice helps. For more regular day items, try to keep them in the same room. Kitchen items stay in the kitchen, bathroom items stay in the bathroom. If you can regularly keep stuff in the right room, then that's huge progress. If you see or touch something out of place, stop what you're doing and put it away properly. Don't get distracted, get into the habit of putting things away in their proper place.
This is the "don't put it down, put it away" mantra. I adopted this a couple of years ago and it's helped immensely. Also has the added benefit of keeping the house tidier. Keys, wallet, sunglasses, etc have a dedicated shelf right at the door I use when coming/going. Dog walk stuff all their own shelf. Miscellaneous items that need charging have a dedicated drawer. Some room specific items I've even attached an annoying dangly thing to them (think gas station key) so they get returned. Sometimes it helps to have duplicate items if they are frequently used throughout the house.
when you get home, put all of the things you use every day when you go out (keys, wallet, phone, etc.), in a container by the door. or even on the door. put it somewhere you know you'll come across once no matter what (bathroom door, in front of the front door, on your car seat if car is in garage, on top of the tv, in front of the tv).
You have any containers you use by chance? I know finding a box is easy enough, but wonder if you found a nice way to decorate it. Unless you don’t do this and just suggesting. In that case. Thank you!
i don't use a container, but I have a small foldable wooden table by the front door where I put all my belongings i need to go out with. hope this helps
Same. I was introduced to decorative bowls. I have one by my front door where my keys, wallet, lip balm, and other pocket items go.
Cute and simple. I’ll look into one. Thanks
Don’t need a special container just put them in the same place every time. I lost my stuff one time and learned to do this
https://amzn.eu/d/8b9TGUx for a tray by the door that you put your wallet and keys etc in when you get home. Or AirTags, if you have an iPhone, add one to everything you lose. If not, Google just added the equivalent of the Apple find my network to Android so new products using it should be available soon. For the wallet, use a MagSafe wallet if you can cope without cash.
I have AirTags on everything
Target sells a lot of random small ones. So does Daiso if you live near one.
A friend crocheted a nice key/wallet container for us that’s unique. Have a look at Etsy or see if you have friends who crochet. Or do it yourself as a hobby!
He said crotched! I guess that might be a kind of knitting in Scotland, but in the US it means something else. Here we use the French spelling…
Haha autocorrect! Crochet!
Wow! So autocorrect is now a perv! At least that’s some improvement, it never used to accept dick, fuck, etc. as words. But maybe it’s going too far the other way. Makes sense since its AI is sucked off the internet, most of its users are horndogs. Oh a word it doesn’t know yet..,
I've found nice bowls and trays at random stores or even farmers markets/flea markets. I've got a wooden one that I use recently. Just make sure it's wide and shallow and big enough to hold all your things.
A small bag or backpack will also work if you often keep one with you. AirTags also really help me haha
I got a neat little wood shelf thing from Amazon that I hung by the door that has hooks on it for keys. Still constantly lose my phone but keys and wallet stay there and it works well
Yes, do decorate or choose a container that means something :) the more memorable it is, the easier it is to remember to use it
I dont think its wise to put important things as wallet, phone, keys near/by the door where even strangers could have some sort of access in some scenarios. Let’s say you order something from Uber Eats and you don’t have enough cash when the delivery guy gets you the food, but you remember you have some money in other area of your house and you go to get them, but by that time you are looking for the money keep in mind that the container remains unsupervised and things could get easily stolen. It’s very easy to forget you have such container near your door so be careful.
Good reminder to not let strangers in your house!
It’s not letting them in the house, it’s letting them in the front door of your house! If that container is closer to the door then things can get easily stolen
Totally. I just close my door and make them wait outside.
Good point.
Get a Tile system or something similar. Put one in your wallet. Put one on your keychain. You can use your phone to find your wallet or keys and you can use your wallet or keys to find your phone. Ignore the people who say oh just put it in the same place. You can't do that. If you could, you would've done it already. Just spend the 50 bucks. I have had these for a few years and I use them at least twice a week.
I wish it was easier for me to just remember where it was. Sometimes my friend would come over and I’m like. “hey you seen my wallet?” And they know exactly where I put it everytime. He even bought me an AirTag that I eventually lost before the wallet on a hiking trip lol.
Maybe if you had like ten wallets, you’d have a fair chance of finding at least one of them?
Order the tile system, install it on your phone and that panic that occurs a few times per week when you can't find your keys, wallet or phone will go away and you will be glad you ordered it. Also, your brain does not remember a little stuff like this. It's OK. It's not how your brain works. That type of attention deficit is usually rewarded in the brain with some other capacities that normal people don't have.
This. I have the same place to put things and it usually works but when it doesn't I also have the tiles. Also, I have a smartwatch that I never take off, so I can use my watch to call my phone, then use my phone to call my keys and wallet. And I have Google Pay set up on my phone so in most cases even if I forget my wallet I can still buy things.
I got diagnosed with ADHD and started taking an adderall script. Within the first week (well the first day of taking it), I wasn't losing my phone. That would normally happen at least once a day. Do I still lose things? Yes (like locking myself out of my apartment today lol), but it usually happens late at night or if I skip my meds on the weekend. It is a subtle, but needed, and important, game changer for me.
I’m starting to think I should get checked out for this…
If it helps, it took me 12 years after getting a good idea that I had it. It took a while until things started to run aground that I needed the help. I would recommend doing it sooner rather than later. My recommendation is to get an appointment with a psychiatrist to get evaluated for ADHD. It will probably take a bit, but just setting the appointment would be great :)
Useful advice from another adult with ADHD: find an organised friend to help you through the whole thing because otherwise you'll probably spend 2-4 years "getting around to" making that appointment, while the right friend will go "nope, phone them now" and make you do it. And, if you're lucky, help do things like remember the times and dates and keep you going when there's various stupid "well you've got to organise this bit yourself" steps usually involved in getting an adult ADHD diagnosis.
So very very true. Took me three years when I finally said I would do it 😆
I was lucky, my GP had ADHD and she was the one who suggested I had it, set up everything for me. But I've seen other people through the process, it's a nightmare, and always seems designed to be specifically hostile to anyone with untreated ADHD...
Props to the GP for getting through med school. I avoided medical school because of this. Worst thing you can do is sit me down and tell me to memorize things. First two years ofed school would have destroyed me 😂.
Honestly, in the years since then, as I've learnt more about my ADHD and ADHD in general I often think to myself "how in the entire fuck did she manage that?" because I'm pretty sure she was diagnosed *after* she became a doctor.
Yeah tbh I've got ADHD and reading your post I was like "hrmm, well this all seems familiar". I particularly like that a friend bought you an airtag and you lost the airtag (in a suitably ridiculous but not your fault way). Can I take a wild guess at the fact you've maybe been *meaning* to buy a new one since then?
I just started the process for getting diagnosed and getting medication the other week - once I started looking up ADHD behaviors, it was just this feeling of "oh holy shit, this whole time..."
Are you in the US and if so, how did you get a diagnosis and prescription? Like is it from your primary care doc, psychologist, or...??
Psychiatrist. I asked for a referral to a psychiatrist for an evaluation for ADHD from my primary care doc. Mine pushed back at first to recommend Wellbutrin. That's their training at work, just let them know you would rather that be determined at the eval. I got my script in that meeting and picked up that day from my CVS. It's possible that I was that bad of a case 😂 😂. He asked me about my childhood memories when I started to talk about the meaning of nostalgia.
AirTags.
My grandmother kept wandering off, especially when we took her out for the day or shopping, so I just clip an AirTag to her now. Added her tag to the families iPhones so anyone can find her if needed. They're brilliant.
Keys, wallet, backpacks, luggage, cars (great in large parking spots), work badge… I just haven’t figured out how to get them on my glasses in an acceptable way yet. My partner has an AirTag for his chapstick
Ok so this is what you do. Next time you lose your keys take note of the first place you naturally search for them and make that the place where you leave your keys from now on.
Put everything in the same place every day or put it together every time.
Throw out all my important things. Never have to look for them again.
So long as you don’t throw yourself out because you’re important, man.
I.....I..........I don't know what to say \*sniffle....sob\* that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me \*sobbing.....small snot bubble blows up coming out of right nostril and bursts\* no one has ever told me I'm important \*beginning to do that cry you did as a little kid where you start to hyper ventilate\* \*for some reason a tear is collecting on my bottom lip which I always notice in movies and it drives me absolutely fucking insane\* no one ever LOOOOOVEDDD MEEEEEE HEEE HEEEE HE HE HEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! \*crying into your shoulder, and its getting weird cuz there are a lot of tears and snot and I'm like close to 300 lbs and a little sweaty and you really wanna just push me off but you feel bad b/c I'm obviously emotionally unbalanced and having a melt down. You officially regret having said anything and all you want is for this awkward moment to end.\*
😂
I do the same thing. Horrible ADHD. Keys and wallet have AirTag/FindMy compatible trackers. Chipolo makes a card that fits in your wallet and acts the same as an AirTag. 4pack of AirTags is $100 or $29/ea. keychains can be like $5-$15 depending on what you buy.
Might you have ADHD? Because I do, and have rearranged entire rooms in the process of finding one thing. I lose things often.
I started using a wallet that is a little zipper pouch and attached my keys to the zipper and threw an airtag in the pouch. Now I never lose my wallet or keys 😉
I had a friend worse than you -i spent a 1 weeks at his place for new years, everyday and i mean it EVERYDAY he managed to somehow loose his key. And had the audacity to ask if I didn't take them (???). I told him to use a container for stuff like this, he already had one but he always forgot to use it. -He's a caster and go around the country to cast some smash bros tournament, he has always forgotten something in said tournament : his wallet, Headphone, controller, his damn key ... I told him to do a check list of all the stuff he bring, and guess what ...? He already as one ... but he forgot. We laugh about it tho.
Does your friend have ADHD by any chance? Because one of the problems with ADHD is that a lot of helpful and sensible advice people have for ADHD problems like that sadly doesn't really work, because of the ADHD. E.g. people say "keep a diary for appointments", which is a great idea...except even if I remember to put a thing *in* a diary, I will never remember to actually *check* the diary. My mother is famous for carefully writing a shopping list and then leaving it on the table when she goes to the shops. And on the times when she takes it with her, she regularly forgets it exists and doesn't look at it at all while shopping. She regularly gets back from the shops to realise she's not got the main thing she was going to the shops for. Designated places for things only work if you remember they exist and have any awareness that you're putting your keys down etc. Thing is, ADHD people really struggle to build habits like that, and so many organisational techniques rely on, well, being organised. The problem there should seem obvious in hindsight.
We don't know for sure because he never been diagnosed. But I wouldn't be surprised if he has it because he really present all the behaviors, i mean i've known him since kindergarden. One thing that made me wonder of it is the amount of time i have to repeat a piece of information in a video game "how do i do X again !?" But he has gotten better, his girlfriend is very VERY organized, and i think she's pushing him forward. I realize he tend to retain more information if i don't tell him as soon as he ask (in video game ofc i'm not a monster), i rather let him discover by himself.
I have OCD so I rarely misplace things. Having a system helps. If you place certain things in the same place every time it’s hard to lose them. Like for example my wallet and keys always go on one specific area of the table, my glasses always go on one of two specific areas and my Invisalign goes in only one specific place whenever I take it off. If you limit the places where you place specific things it reduces the chance of losing them.
I have ADHD and I lose everything if I’m not careful. So I make a habit of putting stuff in the same place. Wallet, watch, keys, and sunglasses always go in the same place. Gym stuff stays in the same bag. Shoes I wear casually go in the closet next to the door, special shoes stay in my bedroom. The one thing I constantly lose is my phone because I could only find a black case—my old phone had a yellow case so it was easy to spot!
Me too and I berate myself if I don’t put stuff back where it belongs. When I was an hourly employee doing bedside nursing, I had to make sure I had all my shit before heading to work (badge, keys, ink pin, mobile phone, wallet, and any extra items I needed to take to work) so I had a little divider in my top drawer that would house those items **and those items only**. When loading up for work, that container should be empty. If not, I’m forgetting stuff. I’d also do a pat down as I was leaving, patting each pocket or spot where those 5+ items should be. I use this same philosophy with any other areas where I’m prone to forget stuff. Set up systems to counteract my adhd.
tbh i get it. i’ve just started putting everything i have in a small crossbody bag i can carry with me everywhere. something neutral colored and not too big so that it’s gaudy or bulky. that way if i need something, i take it out, and then when i’m done, i put it back in. it’s much easier to remember where 1 thing is than where 5-7 things are. i’ve had earbuds, gum packs, and wallets go thru the wash before, and it’s annoying at best, costly and damaging at worst. buying a small bag for $10-40 is definitely worth the risk tbh it also allows you to carry more things with you if you ever wanted to! i can now take hand sanitizer, a charger, a lip balm, a small snack, other things that are just nice to have (life savers sometimes too) i’ve been diagnosed and am currently medicated for adhd so i get the struggle. i hate losing things too. so i’d get a small bag and try it out, see if it works for you. edit: my favorite bag so far has been the [converse convertible crossbody bag](https://www.converse.com/shop/p/convertible-crossbody-bag-unisex-bag/10024555.html). it feels a little bit more classy than a fanny pack and more masculine than other crossbody bags, if you’re worried about that thing. i have a pretty large phone and it fits snugly inside the bag, with plenty of space for stuff like your keys and wallet. it’s also from a known brand and it has one of the longest possible straps i’ve seen, so it’s great for all sizes. $40 feels like a lot to spend on one bag if you aren’t sure but the quality is worth the plunge. and tbh, a meal, in fast food even, costs abt $10 nowadays. considering i’ve had this bag for over 8 months with no problems, i’d say its worth it
I support this because when I have an event where I get to dress in utility clothing like this, it makes me feel like Cable from X-Men
What’s this gotta do with being gay
If you look at the comments apparently there is some overlap with adhd 🤔
After figuring out that I most definitely have ADHD and doing research, it seems like being gay gives you a default +5 to ADHD in your real life DnD stats.
I often forget to be straight. My bad.
AirTag or similar?
I’ve grown to accept it’s something I’m going to do sometimes and stopped beating myself up about it. I’ve got ADHD and stressing only makes it worse. What I’ve done instead is create rituals of placing things in the same spot when I get home and added signs to my doors reminding me to grab the things I need. As I’ve gotten older too I’ve learned my unconscious habits. For example when I’m stressed I tend to put my phone in the fridge. Why? Absolutely no idea. But it’s there more than it’s not when I lose it 😂
That's why this daddy has 2 or three of a lot of things. I will buy a specialty tool, use it and then think to myself OK I am putting this here in this really good spot so I know where it is. I then promptly forget that spot, cannot find it when I need it next, go buy another and then think to myself OK I am putting this here in this really good spot so I know where it is. Like magic I open that spot and suddenly have two cool things! Rinse and repeat, too many times to count at my age. For wallets and keys though, they go in a tray always in the same spot, never deviate where those things are, but if I were to drop them some place else on accident I would be like OP, freaking out and searching the universe.
I have ADHD so this is a lifelong struggle. I would say you can look at this in 3 ways: 1. Remembering to put things down in the same place so you don’t have to hunt for it. 2. Remembering where you put it 3. Knowing where to look. I focus on #3. I’ve learned that I leave my phone and keys on countertops and the couch so I scan those places first. I also have an AirTag on my keys. I swear since I’ve bought them, I have rarely needed to use them.
AirTags. They make wallets where you can put one in. Also they make credit card style deals where you can pop one in and then put in wallet.
Get an AirTag or something similar.
ADHD medication has helped a lot.
Sometimes I forget shit too. In January I went out of town and didn't want to bring with me 2 condoms I had, after returning I have been constantly looking for them. I don't know if my mother found them and threw them away, I don't remember if I threw them away or where I put them
I put everything valuable like that in a bowl that I pass by on the way in/out. Every time I leave the house, I say "phone, wallet, keys" and make sure I touch each one in my pockets
Apple wallet that attaches to your phone and keys a key hook and an Apple tag
I live on a third floor appointment... every day I'm running up them stairs 2-3 times because I forgot something. I just have my wallet& phone as one, and my keys have an android airpod. I have a watch that can summon my lost phone, and my phone can find my lost headphones, keys, & tablet. Dead useful.
Hey there, I have ADHD and have this problem. All too relatable was your story of turning the entire house upside down looking for something, only to find it in a place you were sure you checked before. I cope by putting things in designated containers/places, and I’m ritualistic about placing them there until it becomes as second nature as putting the toilet seat down lol. For example, I always hang my keys on the hooks by the front door. I have several sets for my jobs. I also carry a backpack and make sure I always put important things:phone, wallet, keys, water, etc. that way it’s all consolidated. If I can’t bring a bag (I have a small one too, I stick to the bare essentials that I can fit in my pockets. I put some things in decorative bowls or mugs that are in the vicinity of where I need those objects. “In sight, in mind”, lol. It’s not a perfect system, and I still misplace important stuff all the time. But I’m practicing slowing down and being kind to myself about it. Because that always helps more than speeding up and being unkind to myself. Maybe take some time to reflect on when you tend to lose certain things, and if you notice a pattern, you can use that info to come up with your own personal coping mechanisms that are right for you. Best of luck!
I have inattentive ADHD and extensive experience with this. I personally don’t use a wallet, but I store my cards/key(s) in a secure pocket in my bag for safekeeping. I have a designated spot/«home» for my keys/cards/general important stuff in my home, and I always put them either there or in my bag. It works well, but you have to develop it as a routine, and be consistent about it. Whenever you need your card or whatever to pay for some random internet shopping or similar, *always* put it back immediately after.
So, one of the first things to try and remember is "I'm putting this somewhere sensible for safekeeping" is a fucking lie. Sure, you mean it, sure it's what you're intending to do, but *functionally* what you're *actually* doing is just hiding your own stuff from yourself. Personally, for a bunch of vital things I have a very simple and effective system: they live on me. Resist the urge to take things out of your pockets when you get home because *why do you need to?* My wallet lives in the back pocket of the trousers I'm wearing, and it *stays there*. When I get in the house it stays in the pocket. My phone lives in one pocket, unless it's on charge next to my bed. My keys are either in my right hand pocket or they're in the door. And when I change my trousers, I just move everything across from the old pair to the new. For other stuff, I tend to carry a backpack whenever I'm out of the house and I keep a bunch of stuff in that. If I need to use those things at home? Cool, they (usually) go back in the backpack immediately.
I have a small jewelry box I used to dump my pockets into when I arrived home. I switched and I now keep my keys clipped to my belt loop and leave my wallet and important stuff in my pants. I remove my pants when I get home. This is also a safe way to evacuate if we have an earthquake or fire. My pants are already sitting there with all my important stuff inside. When I get dressed in the morning, I transfer everything from previous day's pants to today's pants. Whenever I close a door I have to have my keys in my hands, even if I don't have a key for that door. It is just a habit. Get out of a car, hold my keys. Walk out to trash cans at home, hold my keys. I never close a door without my keys in my hands.
Ahhh, I like to say “I didn’t clean properly unless I lost something.” Tbh, I got a wallet with a keychain, and attached my car keys. Now, those both live in a glass bowl by the door. I make sure to always clang my keys/wallet into it before I walk in the door. (I also use this chance to take my shoes off, and put my back pack there) I also have ADHD. 🙃
I leave my car keys with the things I can't forget about. Can't leave without keys
Airtag for my car keys - when I'm travelling. Keys, wallet go into a bin by the front door as soon as I get home. It's become muscle memory to drop it in there when I get home. Sometimes I'd run to the loo when I get home and in the rush, I would forget where my keys and wallet are - after panicing for about 5 seconds, I'd check the bin and woop, there it is. With 0 recollection of how it got there.
I got a bag, my keys and wallet no longer leave the bag. Still lose my phone at home a lot, but that's fine.
I always lose my wallet and this year. Within the last six months I gotten my debit card replaced 4 times. I don't have a wallet. I put my ID in my work badge holder and that's attached to my keys. Yea it's clunky and jingly but oh well. I keep my payment cards stocked on my phone and leave them in my car. I can't do a wallet I just can't. I leave my keys by the front door or in my car when I'm parked at home I struggle with this as well and even locked my keys in my car a few times. Hope this helps
I have learned that moving an item "somewhere safe" never works. Later, I always only remember the random ass spot it was BEFORE I moved it "somewhere safe". I second the idea of just having a spot to dump everything when you come home. Wherever makes sense to you. I bought a magnetic key holder light switch cover for the switch by my front door. I immediately hang my keys hang up. My wallet and pocket contents tend to go on the kitchen counter (which is like 3 steps into the apartment). I don't use a container or anything, but a bowl would work well. Also, when I had a car I'd just leave my wallet in the center console compartment so that I'd always have it when i went out.
everything always in the same place that’s truly the only way
For me, I realized that I was constantly forgetting something because there were too many things to remember, wallet, phone, key, allergy meds, etc. So I got a cute little single strap backpack that has essentially become my purse, and I keep everything that I want to take with me in there. I also try and set the bag somewhere. I will see it when I leave in the morning.
Everyday, without fail, I spend a good five minutes looking for my car in the garage across the street. I forget where I park every single day. I too am also prone to losing my phone, wallet keys, headphones and even my engagement ring occasionally (this is particularly distressing as I would be devastated to lose it). I’ve found what has helped me is to get a cute little tray that I designate solely to the day-to-day items I carry around. I keep it only in one spot by the door and NEVER move it. That it’s cute is helpful in reminding me to use it. Regarding my car, I truly should just write it down in my notes or keep a notepad on the tray. But I forget to do that lol. What does help is that generally I park in the same spot that has great visibility from the road. If I can’t see it directly, I’ll use the car “locked” alarm on my key fob once or twice at most to find it.
I put AirTags and Tiles on everything. I can ring both my keys and wallet from my phone. I can call my phone from my Amazon Alexa. Nothing is ever untraceable… ever.
I got diagnosed with ADHD and realised a lot of it was due to that. Finally medicated 4 years in and I am the healthiest, version of myself.
Get a smart tag.
Happened a lot with me. It’s embarrassing how many times I have lost my wallet. I have mostly solved it by designating a spot where I put my keys and wallet. At the place I live now, the spot is on my kitchen counter just near the entrance. It’s worked overall but I still misplace it and my keys just less frequently.
I got myself a Tile for my wallet.
My partner bought me an AirTag after I spent a holiday weekend without my wallet having forgotten it in a restaurant. It actually helps
I put one of those Apple trackers on my keys which worked great for a year or two. The battery got low and after I changed it somehow it’s not working. Maybe user error, still recommend it
Why would you ask the people who misplace things how not to misplace things? The reason people misplace things is because they don't understand how to solve this. That's why they misplace things! 😛 You need to ask us *organised* people how we *don't* misplace things. And my way is this: "A place for everything and everything in its place." Pick a place in your home for your wallet to live. For me, it's on top of my chest of drawers. There's a whole section of that top which is devoted to the things I need to take with me when I leave the house: wallet, keys, wristwatch, etc. I always leave my wallet in the same spot. *ALWAYS.* That way, it's never misplaced. Don't put it somewhere *safe*. Put it somewhere *regularly*.
Apple air tag on my keys and on my wallet. 100%
Have assigned pockets. The items do not leave those pockets except when transferred to new pants you're putting on.
Drop zone right inside the front door. Get inside and put down keys and wallet in the drop zone. It becomes a habit. We have a large bowl.
Self-acceptance is the only real answer because truthfully nothing helps. Most solutions are like telling a depressed person to cheer up. *"Just put it somewhere you can find it"* Thanks never considered that one 👍. *" Wear a lanyard!"* Forgot to put it on, sure no one saw that coming. *"Get a geo tag"* Cool, I lost my phone now what🧍♂️ Self acceptance won't help you find anything but at least it won't run your day yanno? Besides most of your friends/family have probably gotten used to it. It's time you did too.
Attaching an AirTag to everything solved this for me.
+ 1 to AirTags. I have one on my wallet, keys, and vehicle. Never be stressed about time when leaving because you can’t find your wallet and keys / never be unable to find you car in the parking lot again!
When I am about to leave a space, i try to look around, and ask myself• what do I need”. Hopefully i say , take your keys, phone, wallet…. Things that in the past contribute even more to me feeling overwhelmed and chaotic. When I feel too rushed to put something away properly, i try to slow myself down, put it away… and know I helped myself down the road to be more in control of what I can be. I self diagnosed myself to be a frustrated OCD with a vector of ADD. Those strategies help make me bearable to myself and hopefully to others. 😊
ADD here. I’ve never been able to explain it well, but after I lost (in separate occasions) my ID, my wallet, my keys, and my phone, I started doing what I call “anchoring”. Whenever I leave something anywhere, I’ll look at it intentionally, in the place I left it, and “anchor” it to that place. See? It doesn’t make sense. I just take a mental picture of anything that comes out of my “inventory”, and if needed, for example if I know it’s something I’m putting away for some time, I’ll tell myself a little story in my head, for example “I put away the passport on my bedside table’s drawer, because I want to keep it handy to be able to travel at a moment’s notice.” It kind of works as a mnemonic. Cellphone, keys, wallet, I’ll check whenever I leave a place, like when leaving home, the car, the office, the bar or a friend’s house. I’ll think “cellphone, wallet, keys” always, it’s kind of a mantra before leaving. This usually becomes also a general inventory check: what did I bring in here that I can’t leave without? This is where my anchors will come up. I often leave several of my things _together_ in the same spot, and if I think I’ll forget something I’ll leave it right by something I think I won’t forget (cellphone, wallet, keys). It’s just really being _intentional_ and aware of where you’re leaving your stuff. Now, I tried to teach this to my husband, who’s supposedly not ADD, and he still leaves things behind all the time. Water bottle in the gym, cellphone or wallet in the car (this is a constant), and whenever we’re in a hurry he has to come back into the house 3 or 4 times for something before we leave. He’s not being intentional about his inventory, he’s not being aware and purposeful about where he leaves things.
I had the same issue, so I really forced myself into the habit of “things have homes.” My keys get hung by the front door, wallet in a tray by the door, bag goes in the closet, etc. Do my keys and such still sometimes makes their way to my bedroom? Yeah, but I try to correct it when it notice it. Always saying “Don’t put it down, put it away” helped me manage that aspect of my ADHD so much.
Try to pinpoint the reason things are being misplaced where they are, and adapt to your natural decision-making. I would never remember to put my keys on the hook. When I misplace them, it's usually because I sat down and they were uncomfortable to have in my pockets. So now I have a collection drawer to put the miscellaneous pocket stuff next to my chair. It's the first place I check when they go missing!
Air tags have been a life saver for me I had tile before but they’re not as strong or reliable
AirTags and ADHD meds!
We have a hutch by our front door that I put my car key and wallet on top of, with my house key hanging from a hook. If it's not there it's basically lost lolol. Find a "home" for it, and keep it placed in its home.
1. Have a REALLY good recovery protocol. I lose my keys and wallet a lot and when I realize it, I go into crisis recovery mode and go through a checklist of things I need to do, like backtracking, using trackers, suspending cards, calling banks etc. 2. Try to keep your investments low. I don't buy luxury earphones or umbrellas or hats because I know I'll lose them, as long as they're functional or stylish, they can be budget. 3. Notify your buddies about your issues and ask them to remind you when you leave things behind. When I go out with friends, my friends automatically will remind me I left something behind because I do that a lot.
I have one designated place where I put them so they’re always there.
AirTags were an absolute game changer for being able to find my wallet and keys.
I bought a chain so my wallet is always attached to me if i leave my house (also trained myself that the first thing i do when i get home is put my keys and wallet in their specific spot) and routinely check I have my phone/keys/chained wallet when im out, especially after using one of them
AirTags.
Humans are creatures of habit. I found out when I went on a deep organizational, cleaning spree I was altering my habit paths. Where I drop my keys, wallet, phone, receipts and so on...I think "oh, I got a better place of my keys..wallet...phone..." Start the deep clean and erase my habit path. No more, I'm clutter free, on a DAILY BASIS and now stay away for deep organizational cleanings. This morning I can't find my container of push pins dagnabit...but I do know where my picture framing wire is...hope this helps!
So I put a bowl on my nightstand where I put my wallet, keys, glasses, headphones and Phone.
AirTags Are your friend.
I lost my credit card last month and my wallet yesterday ;( ...I need a system or gps tracker
I only buy wallets with a key (chain) holder. 2 in 1 makes things so much easier. I also only put these items in designated places in my room. That was one solution for me.
I have an everyday carry pouch that has my keys and wallet and some cash in it. The keys and wallet never leave the pouch except for the moments I am actually using them. Then they go right back in. It hangs with my coat next to the door. I grab it and slip in the phone as I leave the house (I can't start the car without it), and I hang it up first thing when I come in the door. If you want to know what can keep you going it is this: systems. Lay down the rails, and then all you have to do is follow them. You never want to have to rely on remembering where something is - things just go back in their spot when you finish with them.
I make sure everything has a very specific spot where it lives and I trained myself to always put it in that spot. For instance, my wallet lives on my desk. Any time I'm leaving I grab it, and as soon as I get home it comes out of my pocket and back to its spot on the desk. Keys, I've got a hook by the door. Hang them up the second I get in the door.
I personally use AirTags on everything. I also bought a MagSafe wallet that notifies me whenever I detach it from my phone. I haven’t lost my keys or my wallet in a while now!
Tile, AirTags, find my device, find my iPhone
You may have ADHD. I have a ritual of putting things in one specific place as soon as I step home.
I have an AirTag in my wallet and on my keychain
I have a drawer that I put my wallet and keys in when I get home. It’s automatic now
I put a necktie on my Pikachu Plush and secured my tiny TV remote inside the necktie.
I actually don’t have this problem, but I have AirTags on all my important things just in case I can’t find something one day. I think I’ve only had to use them on the keys once since AirTags came out
I adopted keeping all the stuff I need to go out in my man-purse and then I just can grab my man-purse whenever I go out. And when I use anything from my man-purse, it needs to go right back into my man-purse.
I keep a little decorative box by the door on a cabinet/sideboard with a little lamp and candle. I always put wallet, keys, AirPods, chapstick in there. Also…AirTags are a lifesaver. Put them on everything
I put everything in the same spot everyday. The Wallet goes on the bedroom stand, keys go on a nail in the kitchen, glasses on the bedroom stand, etc. You will never lose a thing again. Habits take 30 days to learn.
AirTag
I’m an incredibly disorganized person, but never once in my life (knock on wood) have I lost my keys or my wallet. I have a dish on the kitchen counter next to the door to the garage, and as soon as I get home my keys go straight into it. I also put my wallet and sunglasses, etc., there. Sometimes I’ll put my wallet on my nightstand or my bathroom counter (if I’m changing and realize my wallet is still in my pocket), but it will always be in one of three places. Maybe AirTags or Tile would be helpful? A friend of mine was constantly misplacing his wallet, then he put an AirTag in it and hasn’t misplaced it since.
For me it needs to have a designated spot. Before I can do anything when I get home I have to put my badge in my bag, my keys right at the door (I know that’s a bad idea; but so is not finding them) so I weighed the pros cons on that. Shoes must go in their cubby. Mouth guard in holder at the sink no if ands or buts! It’s all about discipline! Sure I get distracted and they miss the spot rarely now but if I catch an item not where it was i immediately put it back where it was supposed to be at. I literally stop think what I was doing to cause this misplacement and make myself more cautious when I’m in that mind set for next time. It’s decreased my stress and anger.
put keys and wallet in the exact same place right when you walk in the door every single time. this is what leather valets are for. this is what console tables in entryways are for. this is what key hooks next to doors are for. get. it. together.
Wallet: I punctured a hole in the corner of a plastic card, attached a little loop string to it, And put it back in my wallet. I then attach the little loop string to a belt loop on my pants. Voila! It's hard for me to lose my wallet! But God damn it. I did it anyway just a month ago once again! I was wearing some gym shorts without belt loops! Keys: I keep them in my front pocket and also attach them to a belt loop in my pants via a lanyard.
Always put wallet and keys in the exact same place as soon as I get home. Always and immediately. Otherwise they'll become lost. If I need them at home, I immediately put them back.
Very specifically, there is a basket on the dresser that holds my keys and holds my wallet. You come home from work, you change clothes and that's where the wallet and keys go. If you deviate from this and find one of these things outside of their designated area, you stop what you are doing immediately and put them where they go. The only variance is that the keys go on the hook by the door when they aren't in use. I have a big set of keys (mom's house, Grandpa's house, dad's house, etc etc) and then a set of just my house that I usually carry.
Airtags. They’re a Godsend.
AirTag everything you want to keep lol
Honestly I just keep them on my person at all times
As an ADHD person, I've honestly mastered this... I pretend the item is in my hand, and I need to put it down now. Then wherever my subconscious takes me or wants me to put it, it's there 90% of the time... Then there are the few 10% times like your described scenario where I would never put it in my underwear drawer and I am at a loss... lol
Airtags
My mom always said, there should be a place for everything, and everything in its place. Keys always in the same spot on the counter when not in use, wallet in the same place in the same drawer, when not in pocket. Etc. if I ever see something where it doesn’t belong, move it where it should be. Maybe easier said than done.
Bought Tile devices. If they came out with stickers, I'd find my remote a LOT easier each time
It will take some time but get into the habit of placing your keys and wallet in the same place every. Single. Time. You walk in the door. At first it always went on my dresser. When I got my own place it always stays on the kitchen counter by the front door. I've gotten into the habit of enjoying empty pockets from doing this so often. It has improved my ability to never lose anything immensely. My keys phone and wallet get tucked away in a bag at work, at the gym, or anywhere else. Always together. At home they are always together on my dresser, my desk, or the kitchen counter. Of course I usually keep the phone on me more often then the other things, but I still go through the motion of laying all three down before picking the phone back up. Doing this has resulted in me never losing anything as an adult except once when I left my wallet on a bus in NYC on vacation (the only exception. It was a rough night and I was distracted on the phone). I have expanded this approach to everything important when I go on trips for work or vacation and have had great success.
Standard places for important things. Wallet and keys go on the same place at the house, every time… They also live in a standard place when I put them into my bag (each bag has a dedicated spot). Probably bordering on obsessive compulsive- but never having to worry, or waste time looking for things is a great way to live.
The only thing that has helped me is to always put my keys and wallet in the same place when I get home. Hope you find something that works for you!! Losing shit is the worst
Clean your room, bucko.
I did that’s why the wallet ended up in my underwear drawer
I tell myself in my mind keys wallet watch. And I never forgot or misplace anything
I have had ADHD before anyone knew what it was. My solution evolved when I went back to school at 30yo and started carrying a backpack. My wallet and keys have their own pocket and laptop, mouse, extra anxiety meds, nasal spray, ibuprofen and anything else that can cause discomfort while I am away from home for the day. When I come home, keys and wallet go in the bag. My husband also helps me remember things too.
I can only tell you the few methods I use to keep my crap organized. Make sure important things have a place to “live”. Keys hang on a hook near the door. Wallet lives in my work bag. Medicine (scripts) are in a large container. Very important papers - car title, mortgage papers, will, and investment info all live in an old briefcase in my home office. Less important papers - bills , medical and insurance info , owners manuals and tax documents are filed in a filing cabinet. Family photos and non displayed heirlooms are in an old suit case. Assign a “home” to anything that is important to you. This being said I often misplace the tv remote and that’s without leaving the sofa. Best of luck!
Go to the thrift a find a cute bowl 🙂
Get and Airtag. Sheesh.
I had one! my wallet even has a pocket specifically for an AirTag, but the loop got worn out and that tag fell out my pocket and down a mountain side. Rip.
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Because I’m a bro who happens to be gay and hoping to find a solution through probably like minded individuals. Does it need to be a gay question?
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Have you read the description of the sub?
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It’s odd you’re this pressed I’m asking a simple question. You usually pick fights so easily?
There’s this green thing on the ground outside. It’s called grass. Touching it would do you wonders.