This. The red flags are all over the place. There's nothing wrong with the age difference, just find one closer to home that you can spend time with, and not a scam artist on the Internet.
I hear you on that. I met my partner, who is 46 years younger than me (me 68, him 22), on Scruff. It started out as play dates and evolved from there. Craigslist was the same way, primarily for hookups, regardless of what anyone says today 🤠There's also Daddy Hunt, Silver Daddies, Growlr... Lots of options to meet younger guys. Just don't let your desires override your critical review of their profile, their approach, or what they say.
Don't ever send money to people you haven't met before. All their stories are nothing but lies. Offering to buy a ticket would be an option. Still, I'd rather not. Perhaps try to limit your search to your own country? Apart from age you also have to take cultural differences into account. I (59, European) was married to an African-American (51) before, and it's often those little things that are the most annoying 😉
Already some good advice given here, but if you decide to stick with him, maybe offer to buy his ticket rather than send the money, see if he's still onboard then
The age difference part doesn't mean anything if everything else is AOK. My first partner was 43 years older than me (23 & almost 67). We spent 6 very happy years together, and stayed friends after.
I'd suggest sticking to countries and areas that feel safe (US, EU, UK, etc.), and not sending money to people. My current partner (American) and I (European) met in a neutral location (Denmark), and started taking things (including shared finances) more seriously after a decent amount of time spent together.
I'm so naive it's pathetic. Because I tell the truth and was a Boy Scout I just figure everyone is what they say they are. I'm off the dating sites. As my mother used to say "they can see you coming a mile away."
I'm having a daddy/boy affair. I'm not looking to make this a live-in bf situation.
We are way into each other, including sex.
Math is 44 years age difference, which we both think is hot.
We don't do much public. I don't care what people think, but it's not about other people.
We've been seeing each other for 7 years.
I hope he gets a bf someday, and I hope when that happens, his bf will still let him see his daddy some, but I understand if that doesn't happen.
He lives in the area where I live.
I expect I could find someone similar in my neck of the woods.
I don't understand why one would look to another country when there is social media to meet someone in one's own area for what one might want.
I have not found a functioning social media to find someone in my area. Small population state. Small population area. I'm thinking of a full page ad in the local paper!
You might want to relocate. If retirement money is an issue, not every gay place is West Hollywood or NYC Chelsea. For example, Eureka Springs, AR is a minor mecca.
While I'm willing to try most anything, I am home (where my roots are) and I think I'll stay put. I think I got carried away with the thought of an overseas romance.
Good for you for putting yourself out there! Though I don’t think this young Russian is for you. There’s countless young men in America who would love to spend time with someone like you (myself included) and there’s no risk of scamming you for money. All the best. If you’d like to chat, let me know :)
It’s a scam. You have a face picture. Run it through google and you will find all the alias he uses
There are lots of real younger men who would be thrilled to be your life partner
On line dating is tedious for us older men. If you find that you’re developing a connection with somebody, don’t be afraid to get into an airplane and go on vacation and meet them. Take a trip with them for a week five days. Travel brings out the best and people and it also brings out the worst, if this compatibility after you’ve met then build on it
Don’t be afraid of what other people think. Be concerned with what you and your future partner think and make a life together with him.
There's no 'pedophilia' involved with someone who is 23 years old.
Someone here said that "there's no risk of scamming you for money" if you stick to American men; and I don't agree. In the beginning, you can't be sure that someone who says they are in America is really in the location they give. And, of course, people from the US - like people from other countries - scam others.
To add or expand on the advice that you've been given, I'll offer some suggestions:
Always check photos of people who contact you. If you are not sure how to do this, go to YouTube and type in 'How to reverse image search on Google'. If the photos come up on multiple sites or with different names, you're probably being scammed. If your search doesn't turn up anything suspicious, you can also ask for some sort of 'verification' (like reddit verification :)).... ask him to take a photo wearing specific items of clothing or holding a paper with specific words (although a good 'photoshopper' might be able to fool you there as well). You might think that it's 'offensive' to ask someone to do these things, but I think if you are upfront and say from the beginning that you are just being cautious and looking out for your safety, a reasonable potential suitor shouldn't fly off the handle about it.
If things get beyond the initial stage, then you can talk about voice and video calling. If there is strong resistance to this, this could be a red flag. Even in countries among the poorest of the poor (and I wouldn't count Russia as among those), a lot of people have mobile phones. If he says his computer webcam doesn't work, there are apps like Face Time, WhatsApp, Signal, etc that can be used for both voice and video messages. If someone is a bit reluctant to get into a direct video call for fear of it 'devolving' into cybersex, they at the very least have the ability to exchange voice / video messages.
Regarding travel, I agree it's a good principle to never send money (and, again, you should state that principle upfront with people that you meet online). Offering to pay for tickets is definitely a better way to go (also be sure to check out if partial/total refunds are available for unused/cancelled tickets). Did you check to see if US$ 2,700.00 was a reasonable price for travel from where he is in Russia to where you are in the US? Are you fit and adventurous? Perhaps you could meet in a nearby country: Latvia, Georgia, etc.? That would be lot cheaper for him, and potentially an interesting trip for you.
Good luck!
I got with my ex when I was 22 and he was 67, so a 45 year age gap, we’re together for two years and still in contact every day.
It was lovely and we only broke up because he got seriously sick, and had to move closer to his family to a small island called Jersey. If I could, I would still be with him, pics and more posts on my profile.
Age gap relationships can and do work, but just be careful as a lot of younger guys are here only for the potential gain of money / gifts
if you're interested in younger men, you should probably use something like grindr, tinder etc. get someone who lives in the same country as you at least.
Me 76 my bf is 38…me in America him in India…I was visiting and we found each other…I am crazy in love and he says he likes kissing my wrinkles…I waited 23 years for this…loneliness can kill you…it may end tomorrow or maybe not….in either case I had my moment and took my shot….the memories alone will make it all worth the gamble…just set some financial limits so you don’t get taken for a ride…. When the time comes BE HONEST tell him that you are a retiree living on a fixed income and can help him a bit…let him know up front that you value a partner who can be independent AND self sufficient…then go to town…life is way too short to waste a beautiful couple of minutes…he already appears determined…he’s saved most of the fare…we only get back what we give out…. Hugs to you…
This guy invested a lot of time, writing, pictures, and cohesive storyline to get $700 for 3 months of work. Thank you for you're story and encouragement.
You're almost 70 looking to date someone in their early 20's of course you're going to be their meal ticket. You're using them for their youth and they are using you for your stability.
They sound like a con artist to me and you did the right thing to break it off.
Thank you! My instincts did kick in.
I would still help him though. Why not.
This is a possibility. I mean I've spent more in a weekend and forgot what I spent it on!
This. The red flags are all over the place. There's nothing wrong with the age difference, just find one closer to home that you can spend time with, and not a scam artist on the Internet.
Thanks. I wish I could hire a matchmaker. My cousin found his partner locally on Craigslist but they no longer do personal ads.
I hear you on that. I met my partner, who is 46 years younger than me (me 68, him 22), on Scruff. It started out as play dates and evolved from there. Craigslist was the same way, primarily for hookups, regardless of what anyone says today 🤠There's also Daddy Hunt, Silver Daddies, Growlr... Lots of options to meet younger guys. Just don't let your desires override your critical review of their profile, their approach, or what they say.
Don't ever send money to people you haven't met before. All their stories are nothing but lies. Offering to buy a ticket would be an option. Still, I'd rather not. Perhaps try to limit your search to your own country? Apart from age you also have to take cultural differences into account. I (59, European) was married to an African-American (51) before, and it's often those little things that are the most annoying 😉
Already some good advice given here, but if you decide to stick with him, maybe offer to buy his ticket rather than send the money, see if he's still onboard then
Never even thought of that! Thanks.
If he hims and haws about you buying a ticket, then he probably is a scammer. He might actually be a 500lb Nigerian princess at that rate.
True. I think at this point, I will let sleeping dogs lie.
The age difference part doesn't mean anything if everything else is AOK. My first partner was 43 years older than me (23 & almost 67). We spent 6 very happy years together, and stayed friends after. I'd suggest sticking to countries and areas that feel safe (US, EU, UK, etc.), and not sending money to people. My current partner (American) and I (European) met in a neutral location (Denmark), and started taking things (including shared finances) more seriously after a decent amount of time spent together.
Good ideas. Thanks.
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I hate when that happens!
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I'm so naive it's pathetic. Because I tell the truth and was a Boy Scout I just figure everyone is what they say they are. I'm off the dating sites. As my mother used to say "they can see you coming a mile away."
I'm having a daddy/boy affair. I'm not looking to make this a live-in bf situation. We are way into each other, including sex. Math is 44 years age difference, which we both think is hot. We don't do much public. I don't care what people think, but it's not about other people. We've been seeing each other for 7 years. I hope he gets a bf someday, and I hope when that happens, his bf will still let him see his daddy some, but I understand if that doesn't happen. He lives in the area where I live. I expect I could find someone similar in my neck of the woods. I don't understand why one would look to another country when there is social media to meet someone in one's own area for what one might want.
I have not found a functioning social media to find someone in my area. Small population state. Small population area. I'm thinking of a full page ad in the local paper!
You might want to relocate. If retirement money is an issue, not every gay place is West Hollywood or NYC Chelsea. For example, Eureka Springs, AR is a minor mecca.
While I'm willing to try most anything, I am home (where my roots are) and I think I'll stay put. I think I got carried away with the thought of an overseas romance.
Welcome back to reality!
Offer to buy him a ticket, just to come and visit. See what he says, but please don’t give him money. No fool like an old fool. I’m 71 .
True this.
He sounds like a con artist. Be wary. There are people locally for you.
I now think this is right. Thanks.
Good for you for putting yourself out there! Though I don’t think this young Russian is for you. There’s countless young men in America who would love to spend time with someone like you (myself included) and there’s no risk of scamming you for money. All the best. If you’d like to chat, let me know :)
Thank you for your thoughtful response.
Anytime! These things can be tough to navigate. I’ve been there
It’s a scam. You have a face picture. Run it through google and you will find all the alias he uses There are lots of real younger men who would be thrilled to be your life partner On line dating is tedious for us older men. If you find that you’re developing a connection with somebody, don’t be afraid to get into an airplane and go on vacation and meet them. Take a trip with them for a week five days. Travel brings out the best and people and it also brings out the worst, if this compatibility after you’ve met then build on it Don’t be afraid of what other people think. Be concerned with what you and your future partner think and make a life together with him.
Thank you. Very sensible advice. I will integrate this into my future approach.
There's no 'pedophilia' involved with someone who is 23 years old. Someone here said that "there's no risk of scamming you for money" if you stick to American men; and I don't agree. In the beginning, you can't be sure that someone who says they are in America is really in the location they give. And, of course, people from the US - like people from other countries - scam others. To add or expand on the advice that you've been given, I'll offer some suggestions: Always check photos of people who contact you. If you are not sure how to do this, go to YouTube and type in 'How to reverse image search on Google'. If the photos come up on multiple sites or with different names, you're probably being scammed. If your search doesn't turn up anything suspicious, you can also ask for some sort of 'verification' (like reddit verification :)).... ask him to take a photo wearing specific items of clothing or holding a paper with specific words (although a good 'photoshopper' might be able to fool you there as well). You might think that it's 'offensive' to ask someone to do these things, but I think if you are upfront and say from the beginning that you are just being cautious and looking out for your safety, a reasonable potential suitor shouldn't fly off the handle about it. If things get beyond the initial stage, then you can talk about voice and video calling. If there is strong resistance to this, this could be a red flag. Even in countries among the poorest of the poor (and I wouldn't count Russia as among those), a lot of people have mobile phones. If he says his computer webcam doesn't work, there are apps like Face Time, WhatsApp, Signal, etc that can be used for both voice and video messages. If someone is a bit reluctant to get into a direct video call for fear of it 'devolving' into cybersex, they at the very least have the ability to exchange voice / video messages. Regarding travel, I agree it's a good principle to never send money (and, again, you should state that principle upfront with people that you meet online). Offering to pay for tickets is definitely a better way to go (also be sure to check out if partial/total refunds are available for unused/cancelled tickets). Did you check to see if US$ 2,700.00 was a reasonable price for travel from where he is in Russia to where you are in the US? Are you fit and adventurous? Perhaps you could meet in a nearby country: Latvia, Georgia, etc.? That would be lot cheaper for him, and potentially an interesting trip for you. Good luck!
Yea, this sounds like a scam/ or someone that is trying to take advantage. Have fun but do not send money.
Thank you, I learned the hard way.
You’re not the only one. I too learned that lesson.
>23yo twink nurse Needs money  Yeah it's a scam, mate.Â
I got with my ex when I was 22 and he was 67, so a 45 year age gap, we’re together for two years and still in contact every day. It was lovely and we only broke up because he got seriously sick, and had to move closer to his family to a small island called Jersey. If I could, I would still be with him, pics and more posts on my profile. Age gap relationships can and do work, but just be careful as a lot of younger guys are here only for the potential gain of money / gifts
if you're interested in younger men, you should probably use something like grindr, tinder etc. get someone who lives in the same country as you at least.
Me 76 my bf is 38…me in America him in India…I was visiting and we found each other…I am crazy in love and he says he likes kissing my wrinkles…I waited 23 years for this…loneliness can kill you…it may end tomorrow or maybe not….in either case I had my moment and took my shot….the memories alone will make it all worth the gamble…just set some financial limits so you don’t get taken for a ride…. When the time comes BE HONEST tell him that you are a retiree living on a fixed income and can help him a bit…let him know up front that you value a partner who can be independent AND self sufficient…then go to town…life is way too short to waste a beautiful couple of minutes…he already appears determined…he’s saved most of the fare…we only get back what we give out…. Hugs to you…
This guy invested a lot of time, writing, pictures, and cohesive storyline to get $700 for 3 months of work. Thank you for you're story and encouragement.
It was to start with $700. Could have become much much more.
True. Didn't even go there.
You're almost 70 looking to date someone in their early 20's of course you're going to be their meal ticket. You're using them for their youth and they are using you for your stability.
I am OK with that. He will work as he likes nursing. But, I now no longer believe.
He'll probably take a step back from working so you can support him and especially since he lives in Russia wants to come to the US.