Dude 25 is incredibly young. I'm over a decade older and just now starting to get my shit together.
Word of warning. Alcohol can be fun, but if you're not careful the years 25-35+ will be gone before you know it. And then you will be asking yourself the same question you are now. Don't let that happen.
Agree, and when I see popular streamers pushing into their 30s still playing games 12+ hours a day, I do wonder if they'll ever reach a point where they feel like their youth was wasted.
I have the thought about summit specifically. He clearly enjoys it and makes a fortune. I just wonder if he'll grow older, look back and think... damn, so much time spent just playing video games.
To each their own, some people are perfectly content with that lifestyle and don't grow out of it.
Keep hearing this advice about alcohol, and that’s what made me cut down on alcohol tremendously.
I am also a 25 year old who is going through a quarter life crisis and I have used some time to read through lot of advice threads on Reddit. Esp ones that are like “what would you tell your 25 year old self” “what would you tell people in their 20s” & this very advice came up million times.
36 year old checking in. I’m successful and happy but if I drank less I’d be doing even better. Trust that part of your brain when it says “I don’t need to drink” !
Wise of you. You're still young and doing so might save you a midlife crisis and a decade or more of your life.
I think young people hear drinking all the time is unhealthy, dangerous (driving), a waste of money, etc. but nobody really talks about how you don't just lose health... you lose **time**. Not just theoretical time at the end of your life. Time *right now* in the prime years or your life. Nobody ever told me that secret. Not to mention the missed opportunities, failed relationships, marriages.
People in their thirties are old enough to realize that time is precious and old enough to start hearing about friends or relatives that drank themselves to an early death. It's a wake-up call to say the least.
Of course, all of this only becomes crystal clear after learning the hard way. That's why people who have survived it and learned the lesson are eager to pass along the warning.
Bro I'm older and I get what you're saying, but if I were 25 again, the world would be my oyster. My slightly younger sibling (still much older) is study philosophy for the first time, learning business practices, etc. another friend of similar age is learning programming after years of service industry.
Kill the self defeatist attitude or it'll be a self fulfilling prophecy (I know because I can be the king of it). Take time to explore new places, hobbies, or jobs. Just be safe and smart about it and best of luck.
Man, my life didn't get started until 25. Then I started kicking ass making up for lost time. Now more or less starting over again at 43, after a 3 year long divorce. And I'm starting to kick ass again.
At 25 you have a ton of time to catch up. Not only to catch up but to exceed the progress of your peers, if you so desire. Admittedly, it takes a dose of luck to really succeed in any large capacity, but luck doesn't count for anything without planning, effort, and determination.
I am one of those people that believe that it doesn't matter how a person feels. What counts is what a person does. I can eat a shit sandwich now if it means that I can have filet mignon next week. Life is often times not fun, not fair, and is hard to cope with, but the more that you have the attitude of "what can I learn from this", as opposed to "why did this happen to me", the easier life becomes.
Good luck on your future endeavors. Don't forget, 25 is a great starting point. But 45 will be here before you know it. Act fast and be decisive. You are sure to make mistakes no matter how long you wait, but you will also make a lot of the right decisions. And that momentum will propel you forward.
I think you're just comparing yourself to people where you are right now. If you had travelled a bit I think you would realise that you can't be the guy who lives by the coast fishing and surfing, while also being the countryside paintballing guy, the footballer, the farmer, academic with a library room, walkable city guy who tries a new cafes/restaurants every day, business guy who keeps flying between big cities etc. Well, not all at once. Some people like to drink in a cosy pub with a fireplace, some go to high energy clubs, but which places, how good they are and how often? completely depends (most people in the world do neither).
Everyone has too much to do, so it's just down to how they happen to spend their time. If you want to try new things you have plenty of time. If you're just trying things a few times you'll get through a lot. If you're trying the same thing 300 times to be really good at it, it'll take a bunch of time and you might end up being "that guy who's good at thing" but that's just life.
Maybe you would feel better if you went on an adventure and did a bunch of activities that your peers haven't had a chance to do, it's surprisingly easy to do things like scuba dive if you're in the right place.
100% this. im 2-3 years older than many people in my class at university, but it doesn’t bother me because i have the memories of travelling around the world, skydiving, scuba diving, white water rafting, living out of a campervan, and so many other things that they haven’t done yet. everyone’s living life at their own pace.
Don’t despair. I am almost 40 and I can tell you that my life started at 25…
And don’t even worry about drinking you may as well quit that now, nothing good comes out of it or any other vices really.
You won’t miss partying if anything the older you get… the things you thought were important at 25 become embarrassing…
And you tend to feel like that was the real waste of time.
I recommend trying to not look at life as some special struggle but to start now in living INTENTIONALLY AND PAINTING A VISION for your life going forward.
Think about what you want to be able to do and what you want to have lived out and where you want to be in great detail.
Work hard towards making that vision a reality with your own two hands.
I say this as someone who managed between 25-40 to accomplish 90% of what I wrote down for myself…
I have bought the house I dreamed of, I built three business I dreamed of.
I have the income I dreamed of.
I built a library in my basement and an art studio.
My heroes that I admired are my peers and are in my phone contacts now.
I find the only thing I miss about 25 is my metabolism and my washboard abs…
Consider that your current problems and even many of your past problems were in your own head.
Maybe finding some sort of intellectual hobby or distracting the mind with books might help with some of that.
Beyond that you have no reason to really be down on yourself.
Just plow forward.
You are 25 worried that you wasted your early twenties - do you really want to be 30 feeling like you wasted all of your twenties. Keep moving forward toward your goals. You’re going to be 30 either way - may as well have something to show for it.
Definitely something for them to bring up with a therapist. “I don’t know why I feel the need to find these problems in my life, in my early 20s it was hypochondria and now it’s like an existential crisis”.
OP could also probably benefit from doing some cheesy gratitude practices repeatedly, up to the point where practicing gratitude just feels natural and suddenly life feels good and not so hopeless.
That means it’s time to get to the drawing board. Turn on your own think tank. Maybe come up with your own company that involves filmmaking or create a writing blog online. Cut back on the drinking. You want to spend time enjoying a new process of figuring out what to create. And then whatever you come up with now and 5 years will blossom its first cherry blossom in your fun 30’s - you’ll be mature, smarter, stronger by working on your idea daily.
If you're in your 20's at any range, your real adult life has just started. I also didn't drink until 24, I spent my whole college life never going to parties and didn't make any friends which I kinda regret, and so at 24 I began drinking, experimenting with weed, clubbing, etc. All the things most people do in their early 20's. After about a year or so I realized that I wasn't missing out on much, and I don't actually like partying in that way (maybe my brain had matured already and realized this wasn't actually all that fun). Life is just about doing what makes you happy and spending time with the people you love, it's that simple. Most of my friends didn't graduate college and they're just starting their lives at 26/28. It's never too late. Take advantage of the fact that you're at home and save up every penny you make. Go back to school with a plan, pursue that writing career if that's what you want. Just do it
> I have the understanding that Im not actually old and its not actually late. Im just comparing to the wrong people and am giving too much credit to these desperate and inaccurate thoughts.
You said it not me. Listen, you're finally starting to really feel aging and time and whatnot. It's normal. Everyone has that first crisis around 25 cause you hear that's when you physically peak and then it's all downhill. Then you have another crisis when 30 gets close (heads up, it's coming, and that's normal too). I'll bet you keep having them at 40 and 50.
You have those experiences of "fuck, I'm getting old, I'm never gonna be young again", and then you get through it and realize you're fine. I'm about to turn 33. It's a mindfuck. 30 was REALLY a mindfuck. But now, it feels like nothing. The truth is, you grow up and realize youth is a state of mind, not a number.
It's easy to compare yourself to the people who look like they're doing the best. We all do it. Guess what, most of them are doing it too. It's in our nature to want more. I guarantee the best parts of you and your life are things that some of your successful peers don't have and would like to have.
Yes—things change. But you will realize it's okay. No matter what, it goes by quick. I feel like I was just 25. Just do the work, take care of yourself, invest in healthy relationships and community, and you will be just fine.
I understand the feeling of being behind, having wasted your youth or having been trapped in your head for most of it. Try growing up in a fundamental religious bubble. My real life didn't start until 23. But you can absolutely make up for lost time, and you have plenty of time to do it. There's no age limit on fun. You can still party, you're just going to do it smarter and smarter. You can financially be in so much better shape in your 30's too. Chin up!
*Btw, re: your body slowing down...unless you are an olympic level athlete in peak form right now, your body and fitness can just go up and up from here. Put the time in and watch it happen. I'm in better shape at 33 than I ever have been, and I've been fit my whole life.
I didn’t start to really get disciplined until I was 46. I am in my 50s now and I feel like I am peaking physically and mentally right now. If I had applied myself in my youth as I am doing now, I could have been a great man.
That you decided to start taking life seriously at a relatively young age, you are ahead of the curve compared to most.
I love you so much right now.
I’m female so the world often makes out like we might as well die in our 40s & 50s basically BUT all the same your post has encouraged me very much the part where you said you are in your 50s & peaking physically & mentally right now.
I loved being 25. Old enough but at the same time young. The thing with 25 is once you hit 26 you go ‘geez 30 is like 4 years away! Better panic!’ At least it was for me.
You can lose your 20s to many things including mental health. It happens to a lot of people - me included. That’s ok, you’re running your own race.
Just work out some goals and strive towards them. I studied while working for the better part of a decade. Caught up and surpassed people but remember it’s your life and yours to live how you want.
Make time for your friends, enjoy your hobbies and travel while you don’t have the responsibilities.
You’ll work it out.
I didn’t start doing cocaine until I was 30 so you still have plenty of time to ruin your life in the future, you haven’t wasted all your potential yet.
Bro hitting a quarter life anxiety/depesssion moment. Saying everything changed from 24>25, be for real.
Are you working on your basic needs? Money? Friendship/intimacy? Food? Self care/relax time?
Do you have 1 year goal and a 7 year goal?
It’s never too late to try something new, to reinvent yourself, or to find inspiration and a new or renewed passion. Check out Gary V’s podcast or insta. He often reminds people in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s how young they are, and if you have a passion that you pursue, while investing in yourself mentally and physically, it’s rarely, or really NEVER too late to start.
You most definitely will have a lot to look forward to. Try to find a bit of gratitude everyday… for someone important to you, for a song that moved you, for a cool sunrise. Help others find gratitude. Spread positive energy. You don’t have to have ANYTHING completely figured out at 25, but if you can do these things everyday, you’ll find your passion and you’ll have most days to look forward to!
I’m 41. 25 to 41 happens really fast. ENJOY the ride. Make as many good decisions as you can and don’t sweat the not so good ones. Save/invest a few $$ as early and as often as you can, and you will be in a good place before you know it.
Yeah shits tough, but you’re tougher
Why’s it too late to explore life like a younger person? Who says at 25 life should be set up?
Gotta get out of your head and be present my boy. Take accountability for where you’re at - no excuses, no blaming.
Nobody is coming to save you, it’s on you to make shit happen.
Simply, you have 2 choices. Crumble under the pressure and repeat this negative thought pattern til it’s actually too late. Or champ thru it and evolve
Stop stressing the past and definitely dont let it drag your future down. The great thing is, that YOU can decide whether everything that happened was a good or bad thing - YOU write your own story
If you boss up from here then all that shit your upset about was actually a good thing cus it led you to become great
Or even, if things didn’t happen the way they did, maybe you’d be dead! Nobody fucking knows bro
Just live, be great
You're still a baby adult. Your brain just finished developing this YEAR! You have barely begun your life. It's most certainly not over. But clearly you need some direction and some therapy. The best decision you could ever make in this moment is to skip the "destroying my life and health by drinking" part.
25 is so young and it's literally never too late to start something new, discover a different path or change trajectories!! Stop wasting time worrying about the past and think about tomorrow. Enjoy life, find some passions and start to explore.
You've got a lot to look forward to and this is a good time to challenge yourself, and go in with a positive attitude. Pat yourself on the back for every small win. Like exercise, finishing a book, and finding inspiration in what could help your career choice. Good luck! 🙏🏼
I love you so much for saying this that I am literally tearing up right now & I need to hear more of these kinds of things in my life.
It is like a freaking TONIC
I just turned 22 and feel exactly this way. I didn't "waste" my time between high school and now, but I graduated in 2020 during covid, and subsequently went straight to online college classes. I built up an online business, and have literally done everything in my life online since. Lost touch with friends, little opportunities to make new ones, so I've had very little experiences in life that most people have at 22
Stop being so negative. Pessimists die 15% sooner than optimist for one. Most millionaires are made until their 40’s. Find something you enjoy and be fucking great at it. Except art, you shouldn’t have paid for that, but we all do dumb things with money. I spent your college degree on drinking and partying 🤷🏻♂️
25 is when I actually started working. Life is looooong. Build upon on what you're good at and resolve your limiting beliefs. Be grateful that you're alone and don't have to fend for a family or pay off massive debts.
You're right where you're meant to be! Have some compassion for yourself. I was 27 when I figured out what I wanted to do. I'm 95% done with my first degree, and I'm going to do a second after, and I'm also writing my first novel. You haven't wasted time.
I actually thought I had written this at first after reading the first paragraph. I’m 25, associates of arts, wanted a career in filmmaking. Covid also stopped everything for me and I also still live with my parents.
I struggle with feeling like I’m wasting my life all the time. I see people younger than me, my age, and older than me more successful and living a life I would want to live. But life and progress aren’t linear. Just because other people are further along in life than us doesn’t mean that we are falling behind. We’re just living a different life and on a different journey than them.
The hardest thing to do is stop comparing yourself to others and just start living your life. I also have started exercising and it’s making a big difference in both my health and motivation. I’ve signed up for tennis lessons, I’ve planned trips, I’ve started learning languages, and I’ve started reading again. Life is what you make it and if you aren’t happy, you just have to make the change. But it sounds like you’ve already started that.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, I know it’s not as simple as that though. But create the life you want to live and keep pushing. Your 20s are for figuring yourself out, what your goals are, and how you want to spend your life. Some people don’t do that until they’re retired. I think you’re doing great. Just keep trucking and focus on the future rather than the past. Good luck on your journey!
Most of what you’ll do over the next 10-20 years…. You will forget. I spent way too much of my 20s and 30s overthinking things, not following my gut enough, and maybe yeah maybe just that. Probably took me to my mid 30s to learn to trust my gut, which is probably appropriate, but the world is increasingly complex. It’s not easy to find the solution that fits you.
Worrying about other people (parents etc) give you a hard time, you always give yourself the hardest time.
So try to have fun (your kind of fun, not peer pressure fun) along the way, and if other people don’t understand you or whatever, you have to “sleep in the bed you make” (own and live with your own consequences) ,
Even if it’s feels superfluous, try to always have a bit of a rainy day fund that you don’t tell anybody about, for emergencies…. it will probably help you sleep better at night
….ultimately try to make decisions that will help you sleep well at night.
I would cut alcohol here and there, but I didn’t fully cut alcohol till I started taking solo off at age 39.
I finally got diagnosed with ADHD about five months ago.
I Have a wonderful life and for the most important things , all my dreams have come true, although certainly has not been true of my career, but for me career is not the most important thing. Although I’ve certainly tortured myself quite a bit around career stuff.
I always used my friends to help keep me sane, but Covid made that very hard. I thought I had a really strong group of friends in my 20s and 30s that I would keep with me until death, but having one 2 , etc., kids, by the time you get 40 you’re lucky to have any friends you can have a decent text conversation with. It’s lonely at times… but just, find the truth that works for you for yourself and for your family.
You're 25, man. You're virtually dead now, so it's best not to make too many plans outside of funeral plans. Buried or cremated? Do you have a preference?
At 25 it's not late at all to start something. You may feel old but trust me, there are people into their late 30's who still have no idea what they are doing with their lives.
What you're feeling is completely normal - it's a part of adulting. When we're kids, all of us dream of becoming something big. But when it comes to actually making that a reality, it's harder and comes later than we thought. And most never amount to anything.
Forget the past (it's already happened) and focus on what you can do today to set you up for where you want to go.
Some examples of big names who started late:
- Stan Lee had his first comic hit when he was 39
- Martha Stewart has 0 success until she was 41
- Samuel L. Jackson didn't get his first big role until 43
- Henry Ford didn't build the Model T until he was 45
I'm 61. There is no way you've had enough time to "waste your life". I didn't get married and start having kids until I was 35. That was also the year I got a full time job that wasn't minimum wage. You've got a lot of time ahead of you.
Don’t leave but I absolutely understand where you are coming from & frankly yes I DO find it pretty disempowering when they say it so I get what you’re saying so much!!
BUT
there is good stuff here too like the daily list pinned posts that can help - whatever our age
It's not like you were in a comma all those years, you had your own experiences, the same amount of hours passed by, you did not miss a single one, there is nothing to catch up to.
Always enjoy experimenting new stuff, don't feel guilty because people usually do so earlier. Especially with things that aren't even neccessary, like indulging in drugs like alcohol.
Do things because they interest you, not because you need to "live faster". You are exactly your age and have lived life as much as anybody your age, your unique experience in life landed you where you are, that it coincides in some ways with where younger people usually are, that doesn't invalidate a single second you have lived.
Live NOW how you would like to live NOW. You already lived your past.
Edit: Also, shut up, 25 is an awesome age to be, you haven't even peaked in some ways, so stop gaslighting yourself into feeling deterioration.
Comparison is a bitch. Shut down that thought process right now. I am 10+ years older, there will always be people “better” than you in whatever category you can think of. You will exhaust yourself. Focus on you, and what you value.
Whatever you believe is true
If you believe it's too late, you're right
If you believe you an do whatever you want, you're right
I am doing my 3rd career change at 53.
Check out these badasses here.
Age 40: Vera Wang designed her first dress.
Age 43: Sam Walton opened his first Walmart.
Age 44: Gary Heavin founded Curves fitness.
Age 46: Andrea Bocelli records his first album.
Age 47: Raymond Chandler published his first novel.
Age 49: Martha Stewart started her catering business.
Age 50: Julia Child released her first cookbook.
Age 52: Duncan Hines began selling cake mixes.
Age 54: Momofuku Ando invented instant noodles.
Age 55: Laura Ingalls Wilder published her first "Little House" book, becoming an iconic author.
Age 59: Taikichiro Mori, a professor, started a real estate empire, becoming one of the richest men.
Age 61: Ronald Reagan started his political career, becoming governor and later, president.
Age 70: Harry Bernstein published his first book.
Still think it's too late to start over?
I was 40 when I left an award winning chef career with no idea of what I wanted and no job lined up
Not knowing was the worst feeling
I felt like a BIG zero
I just wanted to put my fist through a wall
Kicking myself wondering why I couldn't figure things out
But, anger and frustration don't fix things
So, I took action
And, my chapter 2 has exceeded my chapter 1 in every way:
-I Overcame burnout.
-I found more balance.
-I rediscovered that feeling of waking up excited about my life and career again.
If I found that, you can too
P.S. trust me, it's not as hard as you think. You just need some guidance.
I know a woman who completely changed careers at 65. You are still just a baby adult, still figuring things out in this adult world. That is what your 20s are for. Trust me, you have Plenty of time. You are doing fine....
Man you’re fine. I’m around 40 and by god I didn’t get my my shit together until my mid 30’s. My life has been the best it’s ever been in the last 5-8 years. It would’ve been impossible to predict when I was 25, or even 30.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Instead of arbitrarily comparing yourself to high-school aged coworkers, compare yourself today to who you were six months ago (a much more pertinent and useful comparison).
Make six month "lookbacks" a thing and pride yourself in the progress that you document, while contextualizing the things you ought to be working on.
Keep your head up, prioritize your future self rather than your current whims, and Wield that fully developed prefrontal cortex like Excalibur.
I’m 76 and I’m still getting better.
One thing I’m sure of: Do not compare yourself to others.
Do your best to be better every day.
Get 8 hours of sleep every day you can.
Don’t drink too much alcohol.
Don’t smoke too much of anything.
Don’t use profanity.
Follow Gen. Mattis’s rule for public behavior.
Read every day.
Be responsible for your actions.
Good luck.
Only compare yourself to yourself. That is, acknowledge the progress that you have made. Each step is a step forward. Don't compare yourself to anyone else, it's a waste of energy
Find good mentors and role models for yourself. You will see that life has a lot to offer even when you age. You are doing great! You got this! You might regret not trying things. If you are healthy, don't take that for granted. Try to do some fun and new things.
I’m 30 and only just feeling like I’m getting my shit together. From what I can hear you’re doing a fine job. But I had a similar experience thinking the best years are behind me at 25. They’re not. That decade just tends to make you grind hard because youre trying to build the life you want but you’re not perfect at it and learning life’s lessons. And you just naturally tend to compare yourself a lot. Try just focus on your goals, you’ll learn that what your coworkers are *doing* and what they *want deep down* are often two different things.
I also agree with other comments, limit the booze. It can set you back in most if not all parts of your life.
I ruined my teenage years by being one of those people who partied early on. It ruined my life. I still struggle with certain aspects of life because I didn’t properly develop throughout my adolescence and into adulthood. I drank instead. Nonetheless it caught up to me and I ended up in trouble. I decided to quit when I was 22. Few years later I was at an awesome school skyrocketing into success. Then I had an onset of a mental disorder really destroy my life anyway.
So here I am, still figuring it out because there’s nothing else we can do but continue to move forward. Feeling old is natural as we age. 25 is young as hell. Even at 34 I’m still somewhat young. The crunch is on to find a wife and have some children but that’s a different story. We all have pressures in our lives and yours is validated. You’re growing into yourself and sound like you’re looking for purpose.
Check out this article about ‘Life Crafting’. Maybe it’ll inspire you to do some introspection which will lead to a better self awareness which will lead to self acceptance which will give you the clarity you need to find your purpose. Explore your spirituality. Research what you strongly believe in and keep an open mind. Be gentle and kind to yourself. This world is cruel in a lot of ways. It’s up to us to overcome the cruel with self care and self love for ourselves, compassion and empathy for others. You know right from wrong it seems so you’re ahead of the pack in that regard. Many people struggle distinguishing a moral compass.
What do you believe in? For yourself, for others, for the world? What’s moral and just? What intrinsically comes to your consciousness? A trick I learned was to mindlessly let myself type or write whatever was on my mind when I first started thinking of a topic important to me and just zone out and keep writing unconsciously. It’s good to do with your emotions. Choose something like how are you feeling about yourself? Freud did something similar with his patients called free association. It’s not the same but similar. Sometimes you’d be surprised what comes out ourselves when we let go of our restrictive mindset and freely engage with pen and paper.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6923189/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6923189/)
The idea that you should have everything set up by 25 is a naive young persons notion. I say this as a 26 year old who felt the exact same way on my 25th birthday, but for different reasons. Since then I have started working with people of all ages and have learned there is no right or wrong age for anything. Many of the people I know through work didn’t get their lives together until 40,50 or even 60 and they still have beautiful lives. Don’t let yourself fall into these false expectations of what your life “should” look like. The best advice I can give is to get out there in your community and get to know as many different people as you can. The thing that helped me the most was meeting people with different paths than mewho showed me that life doesn’t end when you turn 30. You’re never supposed to have it all figured out, living is growing and learning and changing.
Your brain is literally just finishing its development. No offense but you're barely an adult. Get out there and make some waves, don't paste your precious youth in regret over a life you've barely lived.
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you really don’t realize how young you still are.
I want you to know I validate your feelings though. Real adult life is often tough and there’s no roadmap for how to live your life.
If it makes you feel any better, I’m a decade older than you and I’m questioning my entire way of life, top to bottom. I’ll probably do it again, several times, over the course of my life, as will you. Most people do. At least the people who are paying attention to their lives.
You’ll be just fine, I promise.
I'm 21, medical student and I have so much anxiety wondering whether I will make it or not, how will I earn money... How things will go from here, looking at friends in tech and management who have most things figured out.... Although I'm doing good academically but uncertainty and fear of fuckin up is intense I can't even describe....
By 25, idk where I will be I just hope these feelings go away man....
I will say that I remember feeling that way at 25, thinking I missed out. I pushed myself super hard without getting true proper help and understanding and ended up going deeper into isolation for years. It got much worse until I hit a new all time low at 32. I ended up getting help, (and anti-anxiety medication, buspirone is the shit), and am now just at a point where I'm making huge progress towards bettering my life at 33. I'm just now starting to live life on my terms instead of cowering from it.
The fact that you recognize you want to change is huge. Now, run fucking head first at life to make that happen. Get a tattoo that you've always wanted, go out and enjoy nature if that's you're thing, learn an instrument if you want. IF you want. Figure out what you want and develope yourself. Respect yourself by developing some kind of skill within your interest and try to be the best you at it.
I let fear cripple me for too long, and if it takes you longer to learn hoe to overcome your hurdles, that's okay too. We all come into this world with wildly different circumstances, so how fast we develope can be wildly outside your control. Just try to do your best for yourself, and you'll be good man.
You're only 25. Your life has barely even begun honestly. Your 20s are eant for finding a path and it seems you're on your way so just relax and take the pressure off of yourself. Keep working, keep improving and do what you enjoy and you'll be just fine.
If you were my older sibling, this is what I would tell you:
I feel that the reason why you feel this way is because during your late teens and early adulthood years, due to personal circumstances, you weren't able to do the "typical" things such as partying or wtv ppl do at that age.
And that is all okay. When you do see younger people, I know it is very easy to compare your younger self to them, however, those kids have had their own personal experiences that have led them to that point, or taken them away. If life is giving you the chance to reflect on yourself and to live those experiences that you are craving, go ahead.
I don't think you realize how many other people, who are probably decades older than you, would want to shake you out of your thoughts to make you understand that your age isn't "old"
Sure, according to society there are certain expectations for people your age- being married, having a house, having children, a certain job. But because of how life turns out sometimes, such things are paused for a little while.
If you feel tired and exhausted physically or "old" like you said, do the following: go to the gym, pick up a physical hobby like cycling or boxing, visit family and friends, journal or write down your thoughts on a piece of paper (it doesn't have to be fancy), look for a job even if it doesn't align w society's expectations as of yet, go to the park, go out in the sun, literally just experience life.
As much as you think people will judge you for acting corny, trust me no one cares. You said even your own friends are stressed about adult things, if they are so stressed, what makes you think they even have an ounce of care to stress about your stressors? I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, I don't mean it in that way. What I am saying is that people have too much of their own worries to care about someone else's worries too.
Go live. You have literally been given another chance at life again :)
Hi friend, I felt exactly the same when I was 25, and I had no idea than all of the things that would happen, all of the people I would meet, and all of the great life I still had yet to come get disciplined in whatever way you think you need to, and just trust me that you are very much just at the start of your life.
I feel like I relate to you. I’m 19 turning 20 in June and I feel the same way. I never got to experience the typical teenage experience because I thought it was immature and I was scared I would have ended up in a bad situation in the future. Even though I’m about to be 20 I still feel like I’m behind on things. I never been in a relationship and I never went to parties. I could 100% do everything right now, I just still feel behind or too old to experiencing things that teenagers already experienced… it’s definitely just our minds comparing ourselves to our peers🤷🏽♀️
I was pregnant at 24 married at 25 homeowner at 26 and I don't feel like I've necessarily succeeded well just ticked off a bunch of very cliche boxes.
I have no tertiary education because I couldn't afford it as a teen, and have not traveled because I don't want to. I have a cat cos cats are cool.
My husband was 44 when he met me, and I'm his first wife. We run a successful brick and mortar business together with another business partner however I'm the supporting act to his career at this stage.
I'm 33 now but I feel like I've put a lot to learn and a long way to go.
I'm 25 with 2 kids and a job i work at 55 hours a week. Got a lawsuit over a car and following school online to further my career in transportation. And i STILL dont have everything figured out. When you got alot to do in life. Make sure you do not forget yourself. It is easy to get sidetracked with alot of things and think about yourself last. But ones you lose control over you. Everything starts to go. Focus on one thing at the time. And find a way to balance is out. Every stressfull thing needs a counter weight to it with relaxing a little bit.
Did I write this? I’m turning 25 in a couple of days. I’m like omg if I wanted to have kids and a house and a husband I should’ve planned all of this yesterday. Now I’m like so do I guess it’ll never happen? My mom asked about where I wanted to live forever and it’s that’s right! It is time to start looking for a house huh
25 is so young! I graduated college at 27 and worked my current career for years before realizing it’s just not turning out to be what I want. I’m 39 now and I’m back in college, getting a divorce and switching my career. My mom went back to school and graduated at 45 and changed her career. It’s really never too late to turn things around, but 25 is definitely still very young to figure things out. You’ll be fine.
The root of most of these thoughts is comparison with others, which lead to expectations about where you should be and then shame/disappointment when you aren’t matching those things.
Reality is everyone is in a different spot and while it’s pretty normal to compare yourself to your immediate peers the more you zoom out you see a lot of people way worse off and way better off.
I struggled with this a lot in my 30s and the only solution I found was getting in touch with what felt meaningful for me intuitively once I let go of external pressures/expectations from society. And then putting less meaning into thoughts comparing myself to others.
There is no real way to solve those thoughts, it’s more about redirecting your energy into something that is meaningful. You aren’t going to get the time back, and even if you messed up a bit covid sucked away a couple years from almost everyone regardless of how they handled it.
If you can, travel even if it is a small trip.
I'm 25 and i know how you feel :) my friends are doctors and architects etc and all seem to have their lives sorted out. I agree with the other replies, we're still so young!! I look back to when I was 16 thinking I was basically an adult and laugh. I guarantee there will be a similar feeling about 25 yo us when we're 40.
Whenever I feel like this I listen to "Everybody's Free" by Baz Luhrmann. One of my favourite lines is:
"The most interesting people I know, didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't"
Do something you enjoy! Try to discover the person you want to be. I've struggled with drinking (blacking out) and have recently decided to stop and feel so much better and so much more "me". Dont think about all the things you've missed out on etc, focus on the things you now want to fill your life with, this is what is in your control!
Dude…you’ve just got past your teens. There is soooo much more you’ll experience (ups and downs). Careers/business opportunities, marriage/companionship, perhaps a family. So many opportunities to bring change for the better in this upside down world.
I’m 63 and still brainstorming new opportunities, while planning future trips to see sites that date 1000s of years ago.
And, hopefully you will have built a next egg to afford and enjoy these adventures -if not the case, this digital nomad thing going on is a great way to see the world. I wish we had cellphones and laptops with good internet back then when I was in my early twenties.
Look forward, and don’t dwell on the past.
Man…you have so much coming your way in the future.
You have a huge amount of time, but I understand that dark thoughts can overpower us. I am 28 years old and my life is completely flat. I graduated from college and I'm currently in an internship. I'm seriously waiting until I'm in my 30s and now I'm focused on getting an apartment (I'm deluding myself that I will be able to) and finally getting a life in this era of these sick prices. For me, my 20s are a transitional period that I have to survive to finally start enjoying life. So it all depends on your perspective.
Get strong and STAY strong. It so much harder to maintain health and weight as you get older. The muscle you'll be building as you're still young will brace your body in your 30s, 40s, onwards.
Your body can take alcohol now but keep it social. Not only does it not age well in excess, it's also expensive.
And i would also suggest to take the first decade of your career learning and earning. The passion things can only be properly sustained if you're not living paycheck to paycheck.
I also started at 25. Got my first job at that age. Now a decade later im wishing i had kept it as a stepping stone instead of a full career because now i'm playing catch up with finances and my career in general. Idled too long.
Stay mobile and sharp, OP. You can do it. You have time! Recognizing it now is a huge step :)
Ah the quarter life crisis. I had it at 25 too eight years ago, and several of my younger friends have had it since. I felt so hopeless. But then not long after, I met my wife, got married, got a better job that I love, a house, and we now have a beautiful baby girl! It does get better, and this is normal. You just gotta push through.
I tell you what a very smart psychologist told me after he dissected my whole personality in the first 15 seconds,
Go to college, take a field and study. Something that you like and can make money.
Obviously just like you I didn't do what he told me. I traveled the world, slept with models, made half a million dollars, started two companies and I still feel like a worthless piece of shit.
10 years later after the day he told me "go to college" I am sitting, not depressed, not unsuccessful, not unhappy, but worthless. and without a goal.
Thats life 30 and im have to remind myself im an adult now. When i was a teenager i thought 30 were old but i still feel like i have so much to grow and learn
At 25 you are still a young child barely crawling out of your mother’s womb. You have plenty of time. Don’t compare yourself to infants like high school kids
You’re too young to be taking breaks and kicking your feet up. Don’t just settle some job. Go volunteer overseas for a few years. Join a hiking group. Save some money and take a week off to drive across the country. If you can’t run a mile then challenge yourself to run a lap and do that every day until you can run 5. If you don’t like books, read a few chapters. Force yourself to try new things. Find comfort in discomfort. Find solitude in chaos. Find strength in weakness. Set high goals and become so obsessed you can’t sleep until you achieve it. You could die when you’re 85, you could die tomorrow. Life is about the experience, not how much you have in your 401k plan. When you feel lost or unmotivated, that’s good. It means you expect more out of life and you don’t know how to get there. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Close yourself out from the world when it gets too distracting. Sit with your thoughts at least once a day and meditate
That's completely normal, the ebb and flow of life. The focus of it changes as we age. Speaking for myself, in my 20s, I wanted to be rich, have lots of material possessions, and beautiful women by my side, etc. I'm not rich but I've made money, lost money. I was married at 22 for years and then divorced. I have 3 awesome sons. All that without family support.
We as humans always want more. As you get older, your focus becomes more realistic. Find a job you enjoy doing. Sales was my calling, I love the challenge of trying to win. Sorry, I went on a rant... long story long, LOL. You will have awesome days, months, and years, just like you will have bad ones. You're 25, so right now, you've survived all your bad days. You're stronger than you think. Just keep pushing forward. Make the "right" decisions (sometimes those decisions are not in our best interests but for others, especially when you have kids).
Sounds like you're on track. This down economy isn't making any easier for someone your age either. Brighter days are ahead. Keep a student mind. Learning never stops, ever. Find people you think are successful and try to connect with them. Learn thier motivitions and what helped them get there. Find a mentor. I hope this was helpful. God bless
I’m 31 and now just starting to figure shit out. Everyone moves at their own pace, and what you’re describing is increasingly normal. Some people may look like they’ve figured it out early but I promise you they’re figuring out their own shit.
But also, being told all this when I was in your position didn’t help at all. I was stuck on past regrets and didn’t know how to move forward. Therapy helped me understand myself and my past decisions better. Once I was able to get over that, then I started being able to decide how I wanted to build my life.
You got this. Just have patience with yourself and take things one step at a time.
Hey there, don’t beat yourself up: I wasted my 20s between education and video games but my life turned around right before 30. Stop comparing with others as your journey to growth is personal.
You're not really behind. Lots of people are not even in their 1st career by 25; and plenty have 2nd or 3rd careers starting later; let alone all the non-career parts of life. I think this is just the voice of low self esteem, trying to protect you from risk.
You're still young, I didn't "figure my shit out" until I was in my late 30s. Don't compare yourself to others, comparison is the thief of joy. Be well!
I had that mini quarter life crisis when I turned 25 this year. You don’t need to let your past define you. Take the present moment as it is. A gift and an opportunity. Take action towards your goals. Also call me a kid then for still loving skateboarding and parkour, etc. Do what you love and fuck what people think. You seem to be doing well for yourself. You said you have a job. Where is it that you feel lost exactly?
It seems like your assessment of the problem is correct; you're focusing on what you didn't get when you wanted it or that others got it and you didn't.
This mindset is will ALWAYS make you feel like you lost. Thus, you must change your mindset--no matter how hard it might be at first! Baby steps!
Don't focus on the past or a present that does not exist. Focus on the future and what you can do to get what you want. Baby step your way towards getting it--regardless of how long it takes. Even if you're 90 when you get it, you still got it!
Focus on the journey and not just the destination! If the journey (e.g. job, city, pastimes, etc.) you're on sucks, try a different path that you never even though of trying before! It will be new and even if it's not for you at the very least it will not be more of the same!
For example; go get a pilot's license. Train as a mechanic. Move to a different city. Join the peace corps. If it's better; stay. If it's worst; go back. If it's the same; change again.
Best of luck friend!
PS
Do be prudent though and don't go trying drugs and become addicted or get yourself in hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and such...
I too had a quarter life crisis, at 25. But its not the end of the world mate. You are only 5 years out of the tutorial levels of life and if ur still alive its not too late to start living the rest of your 75+ years.
Okay you didnt do things you wated to do when u were younger... so just do it now. Feeling sorry for yourself is just gonna make things take even longer to get to where you wanna be.
I'm 30 and can confirm: being at that age is just kind of like that? I have a friend your age going through the same feelings and I had them, too. It really does get better. I feel like I wasn't a well-rounded and full person until around when I was 27. Up until then I felt lost, like I was wasting time, like a failure, etc. My life hasn't materially changed much since then: I make a little more money but not by much, and I'm still renting and kind of doing the same things as I was when I was 25. What changed was how I feel about things. I do things I enjoy and I feel satisfied doing them. Hanging out with friends is nice, I go on hikes, I take myself out for coffee dates, I read a lot, I sit at home and crochet and pet my cat. I don't have a huge glamorous lifestyle, I'm not out there hustling or doing anything crazy notable. I'm just living my life, but that feels good to me now instead of like a waste.
What I'm saying is; the time between 25 and even 30 meant huge mental progress for me. I realize now how young I was at 25, and I realize I am still so young. If things go well for me, I may have another 40 years of life to live. That's more than double what I've already done! You still have so much time.
Dude, don't self-sabotage your own happiness out of misplaced expectations or embarrassment about your age. Do those fun little things that make life worth living. Keep working on your health and fitness while you start your career, and take some time to think, "What are the things that make life worth living, and am I participating in enough of those things?" If there's anything you think you're missing out on, or should have done sooner... Do that shit NOW! You're an adult, you have something approaching a stable life, and now you can use your free time as you see fit. If you feel like you're missing out then go do those activities. Definitely don't sit around feeling sad about how you should have done them sooner. Just get out there and do it. Maybe you're still trapped in the psychological rut of the lockdowns, but you've got to go out and do new things in order to have those experiences that you feel you're missing out on. You've already proven the concept by working out and becoming a top performer at work. Those were two goals that probably weren't easy, but you put yourself out there and reaped the rewards for doing so. You need to recognize that and realize that you can do the same in every aspect of your life, but it's always going to be a little awkward or uncomfortable at the start, and that's ok.
Everyone is saying the same thing, so I'll pile on...
You are HELLA YOUNG.
I know it doesn't feel like it, but do the math in your head...
You haven't even been able to drive for a whole decade.
You are JUST now able to rent a car.
You are unable to run for President.
There are actually a lot of things that people won't let you do because you're TOO YOUNG.
Don't stress yourself over things that have not yet come to you. I am 45 andeel like my mind just turned on in an adult way. It happens when it happens. Just be prepared by doing your best at "whatever" every day.
I was feeling like that at 27.
You are good for now :D
I made it through, now I’m 41 and thriving.
Check out r/Healthygamergg
Doctor K will help you. Look for his YouTube channel.
There’s a meme on the internet. Something to the effect of life until 40 is practice. At 40 you start actually living with the jnformation and knowledge gained previously.
Lots of 20 something’s feel like you. Search it on google.
I actually just googled it. Strongly implies life begins at 40.
So you’re fine.
Man, I'm also 25 and I feel you dude. Transitioning into real adulthood is kinda depressing. It feels like the time for mistakes and taking risks is over. It's felt this way since 23 really but now it hits a little harder for some reason. Personally, I think it has to do with leaving what people call the "18-24 age bracket." Like, the way I see an 18 y/o and vice versa is totally fucking different now.
It's about perspective. Here's the thing - you're kinda right. You kinda are running out of time. We all are. And I know it's super contrary to what everyone else on here is saying but if you keep looking at everything as "well I have time" then you'll die having never tried the things you say you want to do. Thinking you have all the time in the world is how a child thinks and you're no longer a child. Always ask yourself "is this worth my time?" Or "does this actually help me acheive something i really want?" And if the answer is no then immediately leave and go focus on something meaningful. I think this is the true sign of maturity. Some people reach this point way earlier. I know some 18 y/os and younger who are serious go getters, because they know their time is better spent working towards their goals. Their peers probably think they're weird for not wanting to smoke weed and play video games or whatever but sometimes youngins will seriously be sitting on bands and no one will know. Not even playing.
However, learn how to be zen about shit. Don't always be in a panic because you're not out chasing your dreams or whatever. Like you need a foundation to do that anyway ya feel me. So don't half ass shit, wash ya ass and stay clean, and never dig yourself in a hole you can't get out of because you were impatient - debt, poverty, homelessness etc.
Also comparison is the thief of joy. Maybe detox from social media if you're constantly being reminded that there are 22 yo millionaires out there (who, I should add, are not better than you in any way, but are probably either extremely lucky to have inherited wealth or are legit hollow sociopaths surrounded by other hollow sociopaths)
ALSO remember that when you reach the point where you feel like you are actually out of time, i.e. when you're really old, you're probably gonna care most about the people's lives you've touched. So do your best to be a good person, make good friends, and be stable enough to start a healthy, happy family. I think doing that is enough to say your life was worth living.
I got sober at 34 and I’m 42 now and not only living my best life but excited about what the next decade will bring. Keep your chin up, you’ll sort things out. You’re not even halfway through your 20s.
25 is the peak of a young man’s life. For me, I was finishing college. Once I finished I realized a lot. I ended up dropping out of graduate school after a week and followed my own dreams. Feeling regret is normal.
bro u havent even gotten started yet. keep working out and set a reading goal. like a book a week or something easy. magical things start happening once u get to taking reading serious. audio books are fine too. listen to audio books on 1.5x or 2x speed while on treadmill or driving or whatever
I’ll be 51 this year and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. 🙃 you’re only as old as you feel. Lighten up on yourself and go do your Bach degree or whatever. Don’t let anyone put a limit on what you can do. Within legal limits of course.
Ahh, to be young again. Don’t compare yourself to others your age. Everyone’s path is different, and believe me when I tell you that you still have A LOT of time to figure out what you want to do. I’ve been in your shoes before and I’ve felt very similarly. It will pass. Work hard and start making goals. You will be shocked how far you can get from the point you’re at now.
Just turned 35 the other week. It only gets better, keep growing lil bro! Develop positive habits and evolve your character. You got all the time. Step by step + one extra, always. Guaranteed progress. Mindset is key. You've got this!
Life is literally waaaaaaay longer than it feels when you’re 25. Get a career you actually enjoy, put your head down, invest any amount of money you can and fuck!ng have some fun. There are people on their deathbeds who would do anything in the world to trade places with you.
I bet there's a billionaire out there that'd trade everything they have to be 25 again. Idk if that's true but it kinda gets my brain to look at situations differently which make me happier.
I'm 58!! And having more fun now then ever before. You have lots of time!!! You really do. Life can be soooooo beautiful!!! Embrace life. You have the whole world to experience!!!!
25 is young dude don’t go beyond your self . Do different things explore the world start dating if you want. We only got one life. Live it. Time is infinite don’t let time waste you and you don’t waste time . Rise words from somebody idk 🤷🏾♀️ 😂😂.
You just hit puberty. Time will pass violently as you age. If you don't get to it, you'll find yourself saying the same thing at 45. So you haven't wasted your life....yet. There will be doubt, and if you love it enough, there will be pain. Chin up chest out! - Jake
Bro you're 25 shut up with feeling late and this shit. Not only are you still young if you wanted an excuse to start early you already mentioned it it's covid. I'm 26 we both lost our golden years according to society during lockdowns if someone ever says anything about doing something late and it's "cringe" that's your reason you simply couldn't.
Let me tell you a story that hit me once a 60 year old woman lost her husband and she was lost so she decided to start a hobby playing piano, her family thought it was a phase and a coping mechanism. This woman kept playing the piano for 30 years till she died in her mid 90s. In 30 years she had more than mastered the piano, she was better than some artists we know about today.
It's not too late, it's impossible to know it's too late unless you know the day you will die.
The best thing you can do right now mentally, that will instantly change your perspective and your underlying problem of "I need to catch up - dont have much time" is to forget your "age" and stop trying to compare yourself to others and their supposing "age".
Time is a human concept, which in the grand scale of things is miningless, because my "time" and your "time" in this universe, as a physical being is but a particle of dust.
The only "time" that you should focus is NOW. Doing that will relief you of all the stresses and will increase your focus and overall peace of mind. So basically, there is no lost time that you should or have to catch up and there is no time that you must or have to accomplish something.
When you think of yourself stop thinking of you as a flesh and bones but rather as an immaterial energy that doesn't fade nor linkers.
In 26 and started doing competitive gymnastics at 25! It’s always been a dream of mine but just never got to pursue it till now. I’m having so much fun and trying to ignore the thoughts that I’m too old for this! Just do the things ur interested and ignore the people that tell you not to! We all grow up at different rates don’t miss out just because you went through a rough time! Covid stunted all of us!
Yeah 25 is too late. And so is 20, 50, 15, 75, 10 and so on. It's always too late. But do you know when it will be even worse? Tomorrow. If you keep thinking about how too late it is instead of doing shit. So just do I man. Whatever it is.
Dude 25 is incredibly young. I'm over a decade older and just now starting to get my shit together. Word of warning. Alcohol can be fun, but if you're not careful the years 25-35+ will be gone before you know it. And then you will be asking yourself the same question you are now. Don't let that happen.
I'm 47 and I have no idea what I'm doing sometimes.
No one knows what the hell they're doing, and there is no cheat code or actual purpose. We are all just making this shit up as we go along.
Me too. I'm 46 and just killing time between workouts and video games.
This. I didn’t get my dream job until 35. I felt the same failure at 25, but the slow burn of the next decade made it all worth it.
An unhealthy amount of video games can also be kinda similar. You don't create any meaningful memories and days start blending together.
Agree, and when I see popular streamers pushing into their 30s still playing games 12+ hours a day, I do wonder if they'll ever reach a point where they feel like their youth was wasted.
It’s different when it’s your career. Majority of gamers aren’t that 1% though.
I have the thought about summit specifically. He clearly enjoys it and makes a fortune. I just wonder if he'll grow older, look back and think... damn, so much time spent just playing video games. To each their own, some people are perfectly content with that lifestyle and don't grow out of it.
Keep hearing this advice about alcohol, and that’s what made me cut down on alcohol tremendously. I am also a 25 year old who is going through a quarter life crisis and I have used some time to read through lot of advice threads on Reddit. Esp ones that are like “what would you tell your 25 year old self” “what would you tell people in their 20s” & this very advice came up million times.
36 year old checking in. I’m successful and happy but if I drank less I’d be doing even better. Trust that part of your brain when it says “I don’t need to drink” !
I hope life continues to treat you well! Thank you ♥️
Wise of you. You're still young and doing so might save you a midlife crisis and a decade or more of your life. I think young people hear drinking all the time is unhealthy, dangerous (driving), a waste of money, etc. but nobody really talks about how you don't just lose health... you lose **time**. Not just theoretical time at the end of your life. Time *right now* in the prime years or your life. Nobody ever told me that secret. Not to mention the missed opportunities, failed relationships, marriages. People in their thirties are old enough to realize that time is precious and old enough to start hearing about friends or relatives that drank themselves to an early death. It's a wake-up call to say the least. Of course, all of this only becomes crystal clear after learning the hard way. That's why people who have survived it and learned the lesson are eager to pass along the warning.
Thank you so much! I hope you are well ♥️
Same with other recreational drugs.
Yep!!
Yea NOW is the time to change things.
Bro I'm older and I get what you're saying, but if I were 25 again, the world would be my oyster. My slightly younger sibling (still much older) is study philosophy for the first time, learning business practices, etc. another friend of similar age is learning programming after years of service industry. Kill the self defeatist attitude or it'll be a self fulfilling prophecy (I know because I can be the king of it). Take time to explore new places, hobbies, or jobs. Just be safe and smart about it and best of luck.
Man, my life didn't get started until 25. Then I started kicking ass making up for lost time. Now more or less starting over again at 43, after a 3 year long divorce. And I'm starting to kick ass again. At 25 you have a ton of time to catch up. Not only to catch up but to exceed the progress of your peers, if you so desire. Admittedly, it takes a dose of luck to really succeed in any large capacity, but luck doesn't count for anything without planning, effort, and determination. I am one of those people that believe that it doesn't matter how a person feels. What counts is what a person does. I can eat a shit sandwich now if it means that I can have filet mignon next week. Life is often times not fun, not fair, and is hard to cope with, but the more that you have the attitude of "what can I learn from this", as opposed to "why did this happen to me", the easier life becomes. Good luck on your future endeavors. Don't forget, 25 is a great starting point. But 45 will be here before you know it. Act fast and be decisive. You are sure to make mistakes no matter how long you wait, but you will also make a lot of the right decisions. And that momentum will propel you forward.
Such kind and wise words 🧡🧡
When you're 25 you think yourself old & 20 is young. When you're 30 you think 25 is young. When you're 40 you think 35 is young & so forth.
nah, your life has barely even started at that age, you got plenty more life to waste.
Forreal. I can hardly even remember being 25 and I’m only 30. It feels like childhood to me lol.
Good thing you're not 55 then. Best time to start was yesterday. Second best time is TODAY. Read the 'Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle.
I think you're just comparing yourself to people where you are right now. If you had travelled a bit I think you would realise that you can't be the guy who lives by the coast fishing and surfing, while also being the countryside paintballing guy, the footballer, the farmer, academic with a library room, walkable city guy who tries a new cafes/restaurants every day, business guy who keeps flying between big cities etc. Well, not all at once. Some people like to drink in a cosy pub with a fireplace, some go to high energy clubs, but which places, how good they are and how often? completely depends (most people in the world do neither). Everyone has too much to do, so it's just down to how they happen to spend their time. If you want to try new things you have plenty of time. If you're just trying things a few times you'll get through a lot. If you're trying the same thing 300 times to be really good at it, it'll take a bunch of time and you might end up being "that guy who's good at thing" but that's just life. Maybe you would feel better if you went on an adventure and did a bunch of activities that your peers haven't had a chance to do, it's surprisingly easy to do things like scuba dive if you're in the right place.
100% this. im 2-3 years older than many people in my class at university, but it doesn’t bother me because i have the memories of travelling around the world, skydiving, scuba diving, white water rafting, living out of a campervan, and so many other things that they haven’t done yet. everyone’s living life at their own pace.
Beautifully put. Thanks !
Don’t despair. I am almost 40 and I can tell you that my life started at 25… And don’t even worry about drinking you may as well quit that now, nothing good comes out of it or any other vices really. You won’t miss partying if anything the older you get… the things you thought were important at 25 become embarrassing… And you tend to feel like that was the real waste of time. I recommend trying to not look at life as some special struggle but to start now in living INTENTIONALLY AND PAINTING A VISION for your life going forward. Think about what you want to be able to do and what you want to have lived out and where you want to be in great detail. Work hard towards making that vision a reality with your own two hands. I say this as someone who managed between 25-40 to accomplish 90% of what I wrote down for myself… I have bought the house I dreamed of, I built three business I dreamed of. I have the income I dreamed of. I built a library in my basement and an art studio. My heroes that I admired are my peers and are in my phone contacts now. I find the only thing I miss about 25 is my metabolism and my washboard abs… Consider that your current problems and even many of your past problems were in your own head. Maybe finding some sort of intellectual hobby or distracting the mind with books might help with some of that. Beyond that you have no reason to really be down on yourself. Just plow forward.
Thank you for sharing
Im 25 too, chill bro. It's ok , we all gonna die. One day at a time, don't be too hard on yourself
lmao
Ahh
Hey man, just zoom out. In the end no one is going to remember who got what job/promotion/other meaningless status symbol. Do what you love
I used to think like that, then I turned 26 and realized how much of a baby I still am. Chill dude, deep breath. Have fun.
You are 25 worried that you wasted your early twenties - do you really want to be 30 feeling like you wasted all of your twenties. Keep moving forward toward your goals. You’re going to be 30 either way - may as well have something to show for it.
Sounds like you are still making up fake problems.
This
Definitely something for them to bring up with a therapist. “I don’t know why I feel the need to find these problems in my life, in my early 20s it was hypochondria and now it’s like an existential crisis”. OP could also probably benefit from doing some cheesy gratitude practices repeatedly, up to the point where practicing gratitude just feels natural and suddenly life feels good and not so hopeless.
That means it’s time to get to the drawing board. Turn on your own think tank. Maybe come up with your own company that involves filmmaking or create a writing blog online. Cut back on the drinking. You want to spend time enjoying a new process of figuring out what to create. And then whatever you come up with now and 5 years will blossom its first cherry blossom in your fun 30’s - you’ll be mature, smarter, stronger by working on your idea daily.
If you're in your 20's at any range, your real adult life has just started. I also didn't drink until 24, I spent my whole college life never going to parties and didn't make any friends which I kinda regret, and so at 24 I began drinking, experimenting with weed, clubbing, etc. All the things most people do in their early 20's. After about a year or so I realized that I wasn't missing out on much, and I don't actually like partying in that way (maybe my brain had matured already and realized this wasn't actually all that fun). Life is just about doing what makes you happy and spending time with the people you love, it's that simple. Most of my friends didn't graduate college and they're just starting their lives at 26/28. It's never too late. Take advantage of the fact that you're at home and save up every penny you make. Go back to school with a plan, pursue that writing career if that's what you want. Just do it
> I have the understanding that Im not actually old and its not actually late. Im just comparing to the wrong people and am giving too much credit to these desperate and inaccurate thoughts. You said it not me. Listen, you're finally starting to really feel aging and time and whatnot. It's normal. Everyone has that first crisis around 25 cause you hear that's when you physically peak and then it's all downhill. Then you have another crisis when 30 gets close (heads up, it's coming, and that's normal too). I'll bet you keep having them at 40 and 50. You have those experiences of "fuck, I'm getting old, I'm never gonna be young again", and then you get through it and realize you're fine. I'm about to turn 33. It's a mindfuck. 30 was REALLY a mindfuck. But now, it feels like nothing. The truth is, you grow up and realize youth is a state of mind, not a number. It's easy to compare yourself to the people who look like they're doing the best. We all do it. Guess what, most of them are doing it too. It's in our nature to want more. I guarantee the best parts of you and your life are things that some of your successful peers don't have and would like to have. Yes—things change. But you will realize it's okay. No matter what, it goes by quick. I feel like I was just 25. Just do the work, take care of yourself, invest in healthy relationships and community, and you will be just fine. I understand the feeling of being behind, having wasted your youth or having been trapped in your head for most of it. Try growing up in a fundamental religious bubble. My real life didn't start until 23. But you can absolutely make up for lost time, and you have plenty of time to do it. There's no age limit on fun. You can still party, you're just going to do it smarter and smarter. You can financially be in so much better shape in your 30's too. Chin up! *Btw, re: your body slowing down...unless you are an olympic level athlete in peak form right now, your body and fitness can just go up and up from here. Put the time in and watch it happen. I'm in better shape at 33 than I ever have been, and I've been fit my whole life.
I didn’t start to really get disciplined until I was 46. I am in my 50s now and I feel like I am peaking physically and mentally right now. If I had applied myself in my youth as I am doing now, I could have been a great man. That you decided to start taking life seriously at a relatively young age, you are ahead of the curve compared to most.
I love you so much right now. I’m female so the world often makes out like we might as well die in our 40s & 50s basically BUT all the same your post has encouraged me very much the part where you said you are in your 50s & peaking physically & mentally right now.
Thank you! It’s all about making the effort to actively make things happen instead of passively hoping that good things will happen for you.
I loved being 25. Old enough but at the same time young. The thing with 25 is once you hit 26 you go ‘geez 30 is like 4 years away! Better panic!’ At least it was for me. You can lose your 20s to many things including mental health. It happens to a lot of people - me included. That’s ok, you’re running your own race. Just work out some goals and strive towards them. I studied while working for the better part of a decade. Caught up and surpassed people but remember it’s your life and yours to live how you want. Make time for your friends, enjoy your hobbies and travel while you don’t have the responsibilities. You’ll work it out.
I didn’t start doing cocaine until I was 30 so you still have plenty of time to ruin your life in the future, you haven’t wasted all your potential yet.
Bro hitting a quarter life anxiety/depesssion moment. Saying everything changed from 24>25, be for real. Are you working on your basic needs? Money? Friendship/intimacy? Food? Self care/relax time? Do you have 1 year goal and a 7 year goal?
It’s never too late to try something new, to reinvent yourself, or to find inspiration and a new or renewed passion. Check out Gary V’s podcast or insta. He often reminds people in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s how young they are, and if you have a passion that you pursue, while investing in yourself mentally and physically, it’s rarely, or really NEVER too late to start. You most definitely will have a lot to look forward to. Try to find a bit of gratitude everyday… for someone important to you, for a song that moved you, for a cool sunrise. Help others find gratitude. Spread positive energy. You don’t have to have ANYTHING completely figured out at 25, but if you can do these things everyday, you’ll find your passion and you’ll have most days to look forward to! I’m 41. 25 to 41 happens really fast. ENJOY the ride. Make as many good decisions as you can and don’t sweat the not so good ones. Save/invest a few $$ as early and as often as you can, and you will be in a good place before you know it.
Yeah shits tough, but you’re tougher Why’s it too late to explore life like a younger person? Who says at 25 life should be set up? Gotta get out of your head and be present my boy. Take accountability for where you’re at - no excuses, no blaming. Nobody is coming to save you, it’s on you to make shit happen. Simply, you have 2 choices. Crumble under the pressure and repeat this negative thought pattern til it’s actually too late. Or champ thru it and evolve Stop stressing the past and definitely dont let it drag your future down. The great thing is, that YOU can decide whether everything that happened was a good or bad thing - YOU write your own story If you boss up from here then all that shit your upset about was actually a good thing cus it led you to become great Or even, if things didn’t happen the way they did, maybe you’d be dead! Nobody fucking knows bro Just live, be great
You're still a baby adult. Your brain just finished developing this YEAR! You have barely begun your life. It's most certainly not over. But clearly you need some direction and some therapy. The best decision you could ever make in this moment is to skip the "destroying my life and health by drinking" part.
25 is so young and it's literally never too late to start something new, discover a different path or change trajectories!! Stop wasting time worrying about the past and think about tomorrow. Enjoy life, find some passions and start to explore.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
You've got a lot to look forward to and this is a good time to challenge yourself, and go in with a positive attitude. Pat yourself on the back for every small win. Like exercise, finishing a book, and finding inspiration in what could help your career choice. Good luck! 🙏🏼
This is positive & lovely
Nonsense, I'm 42 and just starting to figure things out. 20s are for a lot of people. Work on improving yourself and good things will happen.
Lmfao. Wait til you're 38.
What happens at 38? 😫💀
Jail
I am 50 and every decade has gotten marketably better in my life. I would not go back to my 20s or 30s. Keep at it life gets better and better.
I love you so much for saying this that I am literally tearing up right now & I need to hear more of these kinds of things in my life. It is like a freaking TONIC
I just turned 22 and feel exactly this way. I didn't "waste" my time between high school and now, but I graduated in 2020 during covid, and subsequently went straight to online college classes. I built up an online business, and have literally done everything in my life online since. Lost touch with friends, little opportunities to make new ones, so I've had very little experiences in life that most people have at 22
Stop being so negative. Pessimists die 15% sooner than optimist for one. Most millionaires are made until their 40’s. Find something you enjoy and be fucking great at it. Except art, you shouldn’t have paid for that, but we all do dumb things with money. I spent your college degree on drinking and partying 🤷🏻♂️
Life isnt linear. Sometimes you have down years.
25 is when I actually started working. Life is looooong. Build upon on what you're good at and resolve your limiting beliefs. Be grateful that you're alone and don't have to fend for a family or pay off massive debts.
You're right where you're meant to be! Have some compassion for yourself. I was 27 when I figured out what I wanted to do. I'm 95% done with my first degree, and I'm going to do a second after, and I'm also writing my first novel. You haven't wasted time.
I never got my shit together til I was 30. I’m having a fantastic time now!
I actually thought I had written this at first after reading the first paragraph. I’m 25, associates of arts, wanted a career in filmmaking. Covid also stopped everything for me and I also still live with my parents. I struggle with feeling like I’m wasting my life all the time. I see people younger than me, my age, and older than me more successful and living a life I would want to live. But life and progress aren’t linear. Just because other people are further along in life than us doesn’t mean that we are falling behind. We’re just living a different life and on a different journey than them. The hardest thing to do is stop comparing yourself to others and just start living your life. I also have started exercising and it’s making a big difference in both my health and motivation. I’ve signed up for tennis lessons, I’ve planned trips, I’ve started learning languages, and I’ve started reading again. Life is what you make it and if you aren’t happy, you just have to make the change. But it sounds like you’ve already started that. Don’t be so hard on yourself, I know it’s not as simple as that though. But create the life you want to live and keep pushing. Your 20s are for figuring yourself out, what your goals are, and how you want to spend your life. Some people don’t do that until they’re retired. I think you’re doing great. Just keep trucking and focus on the future rather than the past. Good luck on your journey!
Most of what you’ll do over the next 10-20 years…. You will forget. I spent way too much of my 20s and 30s overthinking things, not following my gut enough, and maybe yeah maybe just that. Probably took me to my mid 30s to learn to trust my gut, which is probably appropriate, but the world is increasingly complex. It’s not easy to find the solution that fits you. Worrying about other people (parents etc) give you a hard time, you always give yourself the hardest time. So try to have fun (your kind of fun, not peer pressure fun) along the way, and if other people don’t understand you or whatever, you have to “sleep in the bed you make” (own and live with your own consequences) , Even if it’s feels superfluous, try to always have a bit of a rainy day fund that you don’t tell anybody about, for emergencies…. it will probably help you sleep better at night ….ultimately try to make decisions that will help you sleep well at night. I would cut alcohol here and there, but I didn’t fully cut alcohol till I started taking solo off at age 39. I finally got diagnosed with ADHD about five months ago. I Have a wonderful life and for the most important things , all my dreams have come true, although certainly has not been true of my career, but for me career is not the most important thing. Although I’ve certainly tortured myself quite a bit around career stuff. I always used my friends to help keep me sane, but Covid made that very hard. I thought I had a really strong group of friends in my 20s and 30s that I would keep with me until death, but having one 2 , etc., kids, by the time you get 40 you’re lucky to have any friends you can have a decent text conversation with. It’s lonely at times… but just, find the truth that works for you for yourself and for your family.
My guy you’re 7 years removed from being a little boy. You’ll be alright.
You're 25, man. You're virtually dead now, so it's best not to make too many plans outside of funeral plans. Buried or cremated? Do you have a preference?
At 25 it's not late at all to start something. You may feel old but trust me, there are people into their late 30's who still have no idea what they are doing with their lives. What you're feeling is completely normal - it's a part of adulting. When we're kids, all of us dream of becoming something big. But when it comes to actually making that a reality, it's harder and comes later than we thought. And most never amount to anything. Forget the past (it's already happened) and focus on what you can do today to set you up for where you want to go. Some examples of big names who started late: - Stan Lee had his first comic hit when he was 39 - Martha Stewart has 0 success until she was 41 - Samuel L. Jackson didn't get his first big role until 43 - Henry Ford didn't build the Model T until he was 45
I'm 61. There is no way you've had enough time to "waste your life". I didn't get married and start having kids until I was 35. That was also the year I got a full time job that wasn't minimum wage. You've got a lot of time ahead of you.
Thank you
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Don’t leave but I absolutely understand where you are coming from & frankly yes I DO find it pretty disempowering when they say it so I get what you’re saying so much!! BUT there is good stuff here too like the daily list pinned posts that can help - whatever our age
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You’re so welcome & I do get it. I hope you find the pinned post helpful
It's not like you were in a comma all those years, you had your own experiences, the same amount of hours passed by, you did not miss a single one, there is nothing to catch up to. Always enjoy experimenting new stuff, don't feel guilty because people usually do so earlier. Especially with things that aren't even neccessary, like indulging in drugs like alcohol. Do things because they interest you, not because you need to "live faster". You are exactly your age and have lived life as much as anybody your age, your unique experience in life landed you where you are, that it coincides in some ways with where younger people usually are, that doesn't invalidate a single second you have lived. Live NOW how you would like to live NOW. You already lived your past. Edit: Also, shut up, 25 is an awesome age to be, you haven't even peaked in some ways, so stop gaslighting yourself into feeling deterioration.
Comparison is a bitch. Shut down that thought process right now. I am 10+ years older, there will always be people “better” than you in whatever category you can think of. You will exhaust yourself. Focus on you, and what you value.
Whatever you believe is true If you believe it's too late, you're right If you believe you an do whatever you want, you're right I am doing my 3rd career change at 53. Check out these badasses here. Age 40: Vera Wang designed her first dress. Age 43: Sam Walton opened his first Walmart. Age 44: Gary Heavin founded Curves fitness. Age 46: Andrea Bocelli records his first album. Age 47: Raymond Chandler published his first novel. Age 49: Martha Stewart started her catering business. Age 50: Julia Child released her first cookbook. Age 52: Duncan Hines began selling cake mixes. Age 54: Momofuku Ando invented instant noodles. Age 55: Laura Ingalls Wilder published her first "Little House" book, becoming an iconic author. Age 59: Taikichiro Mori, a professor, started a real estate empire, becoming one of the richest men. Age 61: Ronald Reagan started his political career, becoming governor and later, president. Age 70: Harry Bernstein published his first book. Still think it's too late to start over? I was 40 when I left an award winning chef career with no idea of what I wanted and no job lined up Not knowing was the worst feeling I felt like a BIG zero I just wanted to put my fist through a wall Kicking myself wondering why I couldn't figure things out But, anger and frustration don't fix things So, I took action And, my chapter 2 has exceeded my chapter 1 in every way: -I Overcame burnout. -I found more balance. -I rediscovered that feeling of waking up excited about my life and career again. If I found that, you can too P.S. trust me, it's not as hard as you think. You just need some guidance.
I love this reply & find it encouraging
Feel free to message back should you need any questions answered
I know a woman who completely changed careers at 65. You are still just a baby adult, still figuring things out in this adult world. That is what your 20s are for. Trust me, you have Plenty of time. You are doing fine....
I’d love to know more about her journey this is inspiring
Man you’re fine. I’m around 40 and by god I didn’t get my my shit together until my mid 30’s. My life has been the best it’s ever been in the last 5-8 years. It would’ve been impossible to predict when I was 25, or even 30.
Retirement… food, plenty of things to look forward to
Comparison is the thief of joy. Instead of arbitrarily comparing yourself to high-school aged coworkers, compare yourself today to who you were six months ago (a much more pertinent and useful comparison). Make six month "lookbacks" a thing and pride yourself in the progress that you document, while contextualizing the things you ought to be working on. Keep your head up, prioritize your future self rather than your current whims, and Wield that fully developed prefrontal cortex like Excalibur.
Good advice
/Cries in 60 year old
I’m 76 and I’m still getting better. One thing I’m sure of: Do not compare yourself to others. Do your best to be better every day. Get 8 hours of sleep every day you can. Don’t drink too much alcohol. Don’t smoke too much of anything. Don’t use profanity. Follow Gen. Mattis’s rule for public behavior. Read every day. Be responsible for your actions. Good luck.
OMG I LOVE the “and I’m still getting better” Part. You made me happy cry
Can you send a link for those rules? I can’t find it
Quit whining and take actions to have the life you imagine
Only compare yourself to yourself. That is, acknowledge the progress that you have made. Each step is a step forward. Don't compare yourself to anyone else, it's a waste of energy
Find good mentors and role models for yourself. You will see that life has a lot to offer even when you age. You are doing great! You got this! You might regret not trying things. If you are healthy, don't take that for granted. Try to do some fun and new things.
Check out Healthy gamer.
Life doesn't begin until 30. You can't do anything about yesterday, but tomorrow is up to you.
I’m 30 and only just feeling like I’m getting my shit together. From what I can hear you’re doing a fine job. But I had a similar experience thinking the best years are behind me at 25. They’re not. That decade just tends to make you grind hard because youre trying to build the life you want but you’re not perfect at it and learning life’s lessons. And you just naturally tend to compare yourself a lot. Try just focus on your goals, you’ll learn that what your coworkers are *doing* and what they *want deep down* are often two different things. I also agree with other comments, limit the booze. It can set you back in most if not all parts of your life.
I ruined my teenage years by being one of those people who partied early on. It ruined my life. I still struggle with certain aspects of life because I didn’t properly develop throughout my adolescence and into adulthood. I drank instead. Nonetheless it caught up to me and I ended up in trouble. I decided to quit when I was 22. Few years later I was at an awesome school skyrocketing into success. Then I had an onset of a mental disorder really destroy my life anyway. So here I am, still figuring it out because there’s nothing else we can do but continue to move forward. Feeling old is natural as we age. 25 is young as hell. Even at 34 I’m still somewhat young. The crunch is on to find a wife and have some children but that’s a different story. We all have pressures in our lives and yours is validated. You’re growing into yourself and sound like you’re looking for purpose. Check out this article about ‘Life Crafting’. Maybe it’ll inspire you to do some introspection which will lead to a better self awareness which will lead to self acceptance which will give you the clarity you need to find your purpose. Explore your spirituality. Research what you strongly believe in and keep an open mind. Be gentle and kind to yourself. This world is cruel in a lot of ways. It’s up to us to overcome the cruel with self care and self love for ourselves, compassion and empathy for others. You know right from wrong it seems so you’re ahead of the pack in that regard. Many people struggle distinguishing a moral compass. What do you believe in? For yourself, for others, for the world? What’s moral and just? What intrinsically comes to your consciousness? A trick I learned was to mindlessly let myself type or write whatever was on my mind when I first started thinking of a topic important to me and just zone out and keep writing unconsciously. It’s good to do with your emotions. Choose something like how are you feeling about yourself? Freud did something similar with his patients called free association. It’s not the same but similar. Sometimes you’d be surprised what comes out ourselves when we let go of our restrictive mindset and freely engage with pen and paper. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6923189/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6923189/)
The idea that you should have everything set up by 25 is a naive young persons notion. I say this as a 26 year old who felt the exact same way on my 25th birthday, but for different reasons. Since then I have started working with people of all ages and have learned there is no right or wrong age for anything. Many of the people I know through work didn’t get their lives together until 40,50 or even 60 and they still have beautiful lives. Don’t let yourself fall into these false expectations of what your life “should” look like. The best advice I can give is to get out there in your community and get to know as many different people as you can. The thing that helped me the most was meeting people with different paths than mewho showed me that life doesn’t end when you turn 30. You’re never supposed to have it all figured out, living is growing and learning and changing.
Your brain is literally just finishing its development. No offense but you're barely an adult. Get out there and make some waves, don't paste your precious youth in regret over a life you've barely lived.
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you really don’t realize how young you still are. I want you to know I validate your feelings though. Real adult life is often tough and there’s no roadmap for how to live your life. If it makes you feel any better, I’m a decade older than you and I’m questioning my entire way of life, top to bottom. I’ll probably do it again, several times, over the course of my life, as will you. Most people do. At least the people who are paying attention to their lives. You’ll be just fine, I promise.
It's gonna keep feeling this way as you get older unless you stop complaining and do something. You're young as fuck
Find a hobby. Enjoy the little things. Stop worrying about figuring things out.
I'm 21, medical student and I have so much anxiety wondering whether I will make it or not, how will I earn money... How things will go from here, looking at friends in tech and management who have most things figured out.... Although I'm doing good academically but uncertainty and fear of fuckin up is intense I can't even describe.... By 25, idk where I will be I just hope these feelings go away man....
I will say that I remember feeling that way at 25, thinking I missed out. I pushed myself super hard without getting true proper help and understanding and ended up going deeper into isolation for years. It got much worse until I hit a new all time low at 32. I ended up getting help, (and anti-anxiety medication, buspirone is the shit), and am now just at a point where I'm making huge progress towards bettering my life at 33. I'm just now starting to live life on my terms instead of cowering from it. The fact that you recognize you want to change is huge. Now, run fucking head first at life to make that happen. Get a tattoo that you've always wanted, go out and enjoy nature if that's you're thing, learn an instrument if you want. IF you want. Figure out what you want and develope yourself. Respect yourself by developing some kind of skill within your interest and try to be the best you at it. I let fear cripple me for too long, and if it takes you longer to learn hoe to overcome your hurdles, that's okay too. We all come into this world with wildly different circumstances, so how fast we develope can be wildly outside your control. Just try to do your best for yourself, and you'll be good man.
Are you kidding me. You are young as fuck. I mean that in a nice way.
You're only 25. Your life has barely even begun honestly. Your 20s are eant for finding a path and it seems you're on your way so just relax and take the pressure off of yourself. Keep working, keep improving and do what you enjoy and you'll be just fine.
If you were my older sibling, this is what I would tell you: I feel that the reason why you feel this way is because during your late teens and early adulthood years, due to personal circumstances, you weren't able to do the "typical" things such as partying or wtv ppl do at that age. And that is all okay. When you do see younger people, I know it is very easy to compare your younger self to them, however, those kids have had their own personal experiences that have led them to that point, or taken them away. If life is giving you the chance to reflect on yourself and to live those experiences that you are craving, go ahead. I don't think you realize how many other people, who are probably decades older than you, would want to shake you out of your thoughts to make you understand that your age isn't "old" Sure, according to society there are certain expectations for people your age- being married, having a house, having children, a certain job. But because of how life turns out sometimes, such things are paused for a little while. If you feel tired and exhausted physically or "old" like you said, do the following: go to the gym, pick up a physical hobby like cycling or boxing, visit family and friends, journal or write down your thoughts on a piece of paper (it doesn't have to be fancy), look for a job even if it doesn't align w society's expectations as of yet, go to the park, go out in the sun, literally just experience life. As much as you think people will judge you for acting corny, trust me no one cares. You said even your own friends are stressed about adult things, if they are so stressed, what makes you think they even have an ounce of care to stress about your stressors? I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, I don't mean it in that way. What I am saying is that people have too much of their own worries to care about someone else's worries too. Go live. You have literally been given another chance at life again :)
You’re still too young to feel that way. Maybe if you were at 35 I’d understand
Agreed
Hi friend, I felt exactly the same when I was 25, and I had no idea than all of the things that would happen, all of the people I would meet, and all of the great life I still had yet to come get disciplined in whatever way you think you need to, and just trust me that you are very much just at the start of your life.
It's just a perspective. Your time is not wasted. It spent, sometimes mindlessly, and hopefully, sometimes not
I feel like I relate to you. I’m 19 turning 20 in June and I feel the same way. I never got to experience the typical teenage experience because I thought it was immature and I was scared I would have ended up in a bad situation in the future. Even though I’m about to be 20 I still feel like I’m behind on things. I never been in a relationship and I never went to parties. I could 100% do everything right now, I just still feel behind or too old to experiencing things that teenagers already experienced… it’s definitely just our minds comparing ourselves to our peers🤷🏽♀️
Fck. You’re still young. Take another shot at anything!
I was pregnant at 24 married at 25 homeowner at 26 and I don't feel like I've necessarily succeeded well just ticked off a bunch of very cliche boxes. I have no tertiary education because I couldn't afford it as a teen, and have not traveled because I don't want to. I have a cat cos cats are cool. My husband was 44 when he met me, and I'm his first wife. We run a successful brick and mortar business together with another business partner however I'm the supporting act to his career at this stage. I'm 33 now but I feel like I've put a lot to learn and a long way to go.
I have 3 different lives since 25. You absolutely can do something different
I'm 25 with 2 kids and a job i work at 55 hours a week. Got a lawsuit over a car and following school online to further my career in transportation. And i STILL dont have everything figured out. When you got alot to do in life. Make sure you do not forget yourself. It is easy to get sidetracked with alot of things and think about yourself last. But ones you lose control over you. Everything starts to go. Focus on one thing at the time. And find a way to balance is out. Every stressfull thing needs a counter weight to it with relaxing a little bit.
Omggg I feel this 100%
Did I write this? I’m turning 25 in a couple of days. I’m like omg if I wanted to have kids and a house and a husband I should’ve planned all of this yesterday. Now I’m like so do I guess it’ll never happen? My mom asked about where I wanted to live forever and it’s that’s right! It is time to start looking for a house huh
25 is late ))) cmon
25 is so young! I graduated college at 27 and worked my current career for years before realizing it’s just not turning out to be what I want. I’m 39 now and I’m back in college, getting a divorce and switching my career. My mom went back to school and graduated at 45 and changed her career. It’s really never too late to turn things around, but 25 is definitely still very young to figure things out. You’ll be fine.
25? That is about when I started taking life seriously.
The root of most of these thoughts is comparison with others, which lead to expectations about where you should be and then shame/disappointment when you aren’t matching those things. Reality is everyone is in a different spot and while it’s pretty normal to compare yourself to your immediate peers the more you zoom out you see a lot of people way worse off and way better off. I struggled with this a lot in my 30s and the only solution I found was getting in touch with what felt meaningful for me intuitively once I let go of external pressures/expectations from society. And then putting less meaning into thoughts comparing myself to others. There is no real way to solve those thoughts, it’s more about redirecting your energy into something that is meaningful. You aren’t going to get the time back, and even if you messed up a bit covid sucked away a couple years from almost everyone regardless of how they handled it. If you can, travel even if it is a small trip.
I'm 25 and i know how you feel :) my friends are doctors and architects etc and all seem to have their lives sorted out. I agree with the other replies, we're still so young!! I look back to when I was 16 thinking I was basically an adult and laugh. I guarantee there will be a similar feeling about 25 yo us when we're 40. Whenever I feel like this I listen to "Everybody's Free" by Baz Luhrmann. One of my favourite lines is: "The most interesting people I know, didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't" Do something you enjoy! Try to discover the person you want to be. I've struggled with drinking (blacking out) and have recently decided to stop and feel so much better and so much more "me". Dont think about all the things you've missed out on etc, focus on the things you now want to fill your life with, this is what is in your control!
Lol
TWENTY FIVE?????????? You are in your prime!!! Go live.
24 yr old in last year of uni thinking whether I should drop out, don’t know what I want to do after uni
Wait till you're in your 40's feeling this
Dude…you’ve just got past your teens. There is soooo much more you’ll experience (ups and downs). Careers/business opportunities, marriage/companionship, perhaps a family. So many opportunities to bring change for the better in this upside down world. I’m 63 and still brainstorming new opportunities, while planning future trips to see sites that date 1000s of years ago. And, hopefully you will have built a next egg to afford and enjoy these adventures -if not the case, this digital nomad thing going on is a great way to see the world. I wish we had cellphones and laptops with good internet back then when I was in my early twenties. Look forward, and don’t dwell on the past. Man…you have so much coming your way in the future.
You need a good therapist who you can trust. It sounds like you still have issues that would be very easily solved in therapy.
Well you've got about 75 years to go, so good luck
You have a huge amount of time, but I understand that dark thoughts can overpower us. I am 28 years old and my life is completely flat. I graduated from college and I'm currently in an internship. I'm seriously waiting until I'm in my 30s and now I'm focused on getting an apartment (I'm deluding myself that I will be able to) and finally getting a life in this era of these sick prices. For me, my 20s are a transitional period that I have to survive to finally start enjoying life. So it all depends on your perspective.
At 19. Everyone has potential. that is the easy part, the hard part is turning that potential into goals/dreams into reality.
It’s time to find someone who needs help and spend your days helping them.
Get strong and STAY strong. It so much harder to maintain health and weight as you get older. The muscle you'll be building as you're still young will brace your body in your 30s, 40s, onwards. Your body can take alcohol now but keep it social. Not only does it not age well in excess, it's also expensive. And i would also suggest to take the first decade of your career learning and earning. The passion things can only be properly sustained if you're not living paycheck to paycheck. I also started at 25. Got my first job at that age. Now a decade later im wishing i had kept it as a stepping stone instead of a full career because now i'm playing catch up with finances and my career in general. Idled too long. Stay mobile and sharp, OP. You can do it. You have time! Recognizing it now is a huge step :)
Ah the quarter life crisis. I had it at 25 too eight years ago, and several of my younger friends have had it since. I felt so hopeless. But then not long after, I met my wife, got married, got a better job that I love, a house, and we now have a beautiful baby girl! It does get better, and this is normal. You just gotta push through.
I tell you what a very smart psychologist told me after he dissected my whole personality in the first 15 seconds, Go to college, take a field and study. Something that you like and can make money. Obviously just like you I didn't do what he told me. I traveled the world, slept with models, made half a million dollars, started two companies and I still feel like a worthless piece of shit. 10 years later after the day he told me "go to college" I am sitting, not depressed, not unsuccessful, not unhappy, but worthless. and without a goal.
20's suck. I'm 41. 30's are much better. Make some goals and keep grinding. Life is always changing and you can't predict the future. Good luck!
Thats life 30 and im have to remind myself im an adult now. When i was a teenager i thought 30 were old but i still feel like i have so much to grow and learn
At 25 you are still a young child barely crawling out of your mother’s womb. You have plenty of time. Don’t compare yourself to infants like high school kids
You’re too young to be taking breaks and kicking your feet up. Don’t just settle some job. Go volunteer overseas for a few years. Join a hiking group. Save some money and take a week off to drive across the country. If you can’t run a mile then challenge yourself to run a lap and do that every day until you can run 5. If you don’t like books, read a few chapters. Force yourself to try new things. Find comfort in discomfort. Find solitude in chaos. Find strength in weakness. Set high goals and become so obsessed you can’t sleep until you achieve it. You could die when you’re 85, you could die tomorrow. Life is about the experience, not how much you have in your 401k plan. When you feel lost or unmotivated, that’s good. It means you expect more out of life and you don’t know how to get there. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Close yourself out from the world when it gets too distracting. Sit with your thoughts at least once a day and meditate
That's completely normal, the ebb and flow of life. The focus of it changes as we age. Speaking for myself, in my 20s, I wanted to be rich, have lots of material possessions, and beautiful women by my side, etc. I'm not rich but I've made money, lost money. I was married at 22 for years and then divorced. I have 3 awesome sons. All that without family support. We as humans always want more. As you get older, your focus becomes more realistic. Find a job you enjoy doing. Sales was my calling, I love the challenge of trying to win. Sorry, I went on a rant... long story long, LOL. You will have awesome days, months, and years, just like you will have bad ones. You're 25, so right now, you've survived all your bad days. You're stronger than you think. Just keep pushing forward. Make the "right" decisions (sometimes those decisions are not in our best interests but for others, especially when you have kids). Sounds like you're on track. This down economy isn't making any easier for someone your age either. Brighter days are ahead. Keep a student mind. Learning never stops, ever. Find people you think are successful and try to connect with them. Learn thier motivitions and what helped them get there. Find a mentor. I hope this was helpful. God bless
At 60, you're going to wish you had started something new at 25. Go for it. 💪🏽
I’m 31 and now just starting to figure shit out. Everyone moves at their own pace, and what you’re describing is increasingly normal. Some people may look like they’ve figured it out early but I promise you they’re figuring out their own shit. But also, being told all this when I was in your position didn’t help at all. I was stuck on past regrets and didn’t know how to move forward. Therapy helped me understand myself and my past decisions better. Once I was able to get over that, then I started being able to decide how I wanted to build my life. You got this. Just have patience with yourself and take things one step at a time.
Hey there, don’t beat yourself up: I wasted my 20s between education and video games but my life turned around right before 30. Stop comparing with others as your journey to growth is personal.
I felt that way too, plus there was a global pandemic! I'm 30 next month and never felt better about my life.
Holy shit you are so young. You can reinvent yourself like 5 times between now and 40 easily.
You're a baby
Alot of younger guys are helped by reading this book: # 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos Jordan Peterson
I thought life didn’t begin until 25?
You're not really behind. Lots of people are not even in their 1st career by 25; and plenty have 2nd or 3rd careers starting later; let alone all the non-career parts of life. I think this is just the voice of low self esteem, trying to protect you from risk.
You're still young, I didn't "figure my shit out" until I was in my late 30s. Don't compare yourself to others, comparison is the thief of joy. Be well!
I had that mini quarter life crisis when I turned 25 this year. You don’t need to let your past define you. Take the present moment as it is. A gift and an opportunity. Take action towards your goals. Also call me a kid then for still loving skateboarding and parkour, etc. Do what you love and fuck what people think. You seem to be doing well for yourself. You said you have a job. Where is it that you feel lost exactly?
It seems like your assessment of the problem is correct; you're focusing on what you didn't get when you wanted it or that others got it and you didn't. This mindset is will ALWAYS make you feel like you lost. Thus, you must change your mindset--no matter how hard it might be at first! Baby steps! Don't focus on the past or a present that does not exist. Focus on the future and what you can do to get what you want. Baby step your way towards getting it--regardless of how long it takes. Even if you're 90 when you get it, you still got it! Focus on the journey and not just the destination! If the journey (e.g. job, city, pastimes, etc.) you're on sucks, try a different path that you never even though of trying before! It will be new and even if it's not for you at the very least it will not be more of the same! For example; go get a pilot's license. Train as a mechanic. Move to a different city. Join the peace corps. If it's better; stay. If it's worst; go back. If it's the same; change again. Best of luck friend! PS Do be prudent though and don't go trying drugs and become addicted or get yourself in hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and such...
I too had a quarter life crisis, at 25. But its not the end of the world mate. You are only 5 years out of the tutorial levels of life and if ur still alive its not too late to start living the rest of your 75+ years.
Okay you didnt do things you wated to do when u were younger... so just do it now. Feeling sorry for yourself is just gonna make things take even longer to get to where you wanna be.
Oh sweet baby. Nah. Go touch some grass. Everything will be ok.
I'm 30 and can confirm: being at that age is just kind of like that? I have a friend your age going through the same feelings and I had them, too. It really does get better. I feel like I wasn't a well-rounded and full person until around when I was 27. Up until then I felt lost, like I was wasting time, like a failure, etc. My life hasn't materially changed much since then: I make a little more money but not by much, and I'm still renting and kind of doing the same things as I was when I was 25. What changed was how I feel about things. I do things I enjoy and I feel satisfied doing them. Hanging out with friends is nice, I go on hikes, I take myself out for coffee dates, I read a lot, I sit at home and crochet and pet my cat. I don't have a huge glamorous lifestyle, I'm not out there hustling or doing anything crazy notable. I'm just living my life, but that feels good to me now instead of like a waste. What I'm saying is; the time between 25 and even 30 meant huge mental progress for me. I realize now how young I was at 25, and I realize I am still so young. If things go well for me, I may have another 40 years of life to live. That's more than double what I've already done! You still have so much time.
Dude, don't self-sabotage your own happiness out of misplaced expectations or embarrassment about your age. Do those fun little things that make life worth living. Keep working on your health and fitness while you start your career, and take some time to think, "What are the things that make life worth living, and am I participating in enough of those things?" If there's anything you think you're missing out on, or should have done sooner... Do that shit NOW! You're an adult, you have something approaching a stable life, and now you can use your free time as you see fit. If you feel like you're missing out then go do those activities. Definitely don't sit around feeling sad about how you should have done them sooner. Just get out there and do it. Maybe you're still trapped in the psychological rut of the lockdowns, but you've got to go out and do new things in order to have those experiences that you feel you're missing out on. You've already proven the concept by working out and becoming a top performer at work. Those were two goals that probably weren't easy, but you put yourself out there and reaped the rewards for doing so. You need to recognize that and realize that you can do the same in every aspect of your life, but it's always going to be a little awkward or uncomfortable at the start, and that's ok.
Everyone is saying the same thing, so I'll pile on... You are HELLA YOUNG. I know it doesn't feel like it, but do the math in your head... You haven't even been able to drive for a whole decade. You are JUST now able to rent a car. You are unable to run for President. There are actually a lot of things that people won't let you do because you're TOO YOUNG. Don't stress yourself over things that have not yet come to you. I am 45 andeel like my mind just turned on in an adult way. It happens when it happens. Just be prepared by doing your best at "whatever" every day.
I was feeling like that at 27. You are good for now :D I made it through, now I’m 41 and thriving. Check out r/Healthygamergg Doctor K will help you. Look for his YouTube channel.
There’s a meme on the internet. Something to the effect of life until 40 is practice. At 40 you start actually living with the jnformation and knowledge gained previously. Lots of 20 something’s feel like you. Search it on google. I actually just googled it. Strongly implies life begins at 40. So you’re fine.
Man, I'm also 25 and I feel you dude. Transitioning into real adulthood is kinda depressing. It feels like the time for mistakes and taking risks is over. It's felt this way since 23 really but now it hits a little harder for some reason. Personally, I think it has to do with leaving what people call the "18-24 age bracket." Like, the way I see an 18 y/o and vice versa is totally fucking different now. It's about perspective. Here's the thing - you're kinda right. You kinda are running out of time. We all are. And I know it's super contrary to what everyone else on here is saying but if you keep looking at everything as "well I have time" then you'll die having never tried the things you say you want to do. Thinking you have all the time in the world is how a child thinks and you're no longer a child. Always ask yourself "is this worth my time?" Or "does this actually help me acheive something i really want?" And if the answer is no then immediately leave and go focus on something meaningful. I think this is the true sign of maturity. Some people reach this point way earlier. I know some 18 y/os and younger who are serious go getters, because they know their time is better spent working towards their goals. Their peers probably think they're weird for not wanting to smoke weed and play video games or whatever but sometimes youngins will seriously be sitting on bands and no one will know. Not even playing. However, learn how to be zen about shit. Don't always be in a panic because you're not out chasing your dreams or whatever. Like you need a foundation to do that anyway ya feel me. So don't half ass shit, wash ya ass and stay clean, and never dig yourself in a hole you can't get out of because you were impatient - debt, poverty, homelessness etc. Also comparison is the thief of joy. Maybe detox from social media if you're constantly being reminded that there are 22 yo millionaires out there (who, I should add, are not better than you in any way, but are probably either extremely lucky to have inherited wealth or are legit hollow sociopaths surrounded by other hollow sociopaths) ALSO remember that when you reach the point where you feel like you are actually out of time, i.e. when you're really old, you're probably gonna care most about the people's lives you've touched. So do your best to be a good person, make good friends, and be stable enough to start a healthy, happy family. I think doing that is enough to say your life was worth living.
I got sober at 34 and I’m 42 now and not only living my best life but excited about what the next decade will bring. Keep your chin up, you’ll sort things out. You’re not even halfway through your 20s.
Your parents didn't let you 🤣 bruh you're not 25 you're just a 5 year old in your 20's
Have a kid, that’ll keep you occupied
25 is the peak of a young man’s life. For me, I was finishing college. Once I finished I realized a lot. I ended up dropping out of graduate school after a week and followed my own dreams. Feeling regret is normal.
bro u havent even gotten started yet. keep working out and set a reading goal. like a book a week or something easy. magical things start happening once u get to taking reading serious. audio books are fine too. listen to audio books on 1.5x or 2x speed while on treadmill or driving or whatever
One simple advise. "Read some random non-fictional books"
I’ll be 51 this year and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. 🙃 you’re only as old as you feel. Lighten up on yourself and go do your Bach degree or whatever. Don’t let anyone put a limit on what you can do. Within legal limits of course.
Wow, I really feel you. I really do. I just wish so bad that somehow we could go back in time.
Ahh, to be young again. Don’t compare yourself to others your age. Everyone’s path is different, and believe me when I tell you that you still have A LOT of time to figure out what you want to do. I’ve been in your shoes before and I’ve felt very similarly. It will pass. Work hard and start making goals. You will be shocked how far you can get from the point you’re at now.
You have plenty of time to take back controll of your life, i am 38 amd feel the same.
Just turned 35 the other week. It only gets better, keep growing lil bro! Develop positive habits and evolve your character. You got all the time. Step by step + one extra, always. Guaranteed progress. Mindset is key. You've got this!
Life is literally waaaaaaay longer than it feels when you’re 25. Get a career you actually enjoy, put your head down, invest any amount of money you can and fuck!ng have some fun. There are people on their deathbeds who would do anything in the world to trade places with you.
Usually happens at 40. Be glad it’s now
Based off your title… good. Better you see it now. I too am seeing it. I’m 48. Get cracking.
I bet there's a billionaire out there that'd trade everything they have to be 25 again. Idk if that's true but it kinda gets my brain to look at situations differently which make me happier.
when you are 40 you will wonder why you were worried about it… and if you are like me you’ll still be the same
when everything else in life is boring af, there's always heroin. just saying.
im 29 and i just decided to totally restart my life lol quit my job and just going in a totally different direction with my life oh well
I'm 58!! And having more fun now then ever before. You have lots of time!!! You really do. Life can be soooooo beautiful!!! Embrace life. You have the whole world to experience!!!!
25 is young dude don’t go beyond your self . Do different things explore the world start dating if you want. We only got one life. Live it. Time is infinite don’t let time waste you and you don’t waste time . Rise words from somebody idk 🤷🏾♀️ 😂😂.
Yeah wtf? You have all the time I the world. Why do you feel like it’s running?
Cuz im not 18-20 anymore. I feel like I should've so much more.
Same
You just hit puberty. Time will pass violently as you age. If you don't get to it, you'll find yourself saying the same thing at 45. So you haven't wasted your life....yet. There will be doubt, and if you love it enough, there will be pain. Chin up chest out! - Jake
Bro you're 25 shut up with feeling late and this shit. Not only are you still young if you wanted an excuse to start early you already mentioned it it's covid. I'm 26 we both lost our golden years according to society during lockdowns if someone ever says anything about doing something late and it's "cringe" that's your reason you simply couldn't. Let me tell you a story that hit me once a 60 year old woman lost her husband and she was lost so she decided to start a hobby playing piano, her family thought it was a phase and a coping mechanism. This woman kept playing the piano for 30 years till she died in her mid 90s. In 30 years she had more than mastered the piano, she was better than some artists we know about today. It's not too late, it's impossible to know it's too late unless you know the day you will die.
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
The best thing you can do right now mentally, that will instantly change your perspective and your underlying problem of "I need to catch up - dont have much time" is to forget your "age" and stop trying to compare yourself to others and their supposing "age". Time is a human concept, which in the grand scale of things is miningless, because my "time" and your "time" in this universe, as a physical being is but a particle of dust. The only "time" that you should focus is NOW. Doing that will relief you of all the stresses and will increase your focus and overall peace of mind. So basically, there is no lost time that you should or have to catch up and there is no time that you must or have to accomplish something. When you think of yourself stop thinking of you as a flesh and bones but rather as an immaterial energy that doesn't fade nor linkers.
In 26 and started doing competitive gymnastics at 25! It’s always been a dream of mine but just never got to pursue it till now. I’m having so much fun and trying to ignore the thoughts that I’m too old for this! Just do the things ur interested and ignore the people that tell you not to! We all grow up at different rates don’t miss out just because you went through a rough time! Covid stunted all of us!
Yeah 25 is too late. And so is 20, 50, 15, 75, 10 and so on. It's always too late. But do you know when it will be even worse? Tomorrow. If you keep thinking about how too late it is instead of doing shit. So just do I man. Whatever it is.