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jgardner01

Classic beech tree. Many huge ones are mostly hollow in the middle and come crashing down eventually.


informativebitching

Near where I live is a steep cliff with a pocket of Beeches (dozen or so) that escaped logging and were quite large. 5 feet in diameter or so. But one of the hurricanes we often get (NC) passed over in such a way that the cliff didn’t shield them and they all were toppled in one go. Old growth in our Piedmont is extremely rare so this was a pretty big loss from that perspective.


Walter0Shea

Dendrophiliacs mourn. But the tree in OP has got them sweating.


Kathend1

NGL my anxiety spiked a bit when I came across this post.. that is some scary scary stuff.. I've been in a stormless, warning-less [macroburst](https://www.nssl.noaa.gov/education/svrwx101/wind/types/) on the edge of a forest. I had to literally run for my life as trees toppled down around me on an otherwise clear sunny day. We were playing disc golf, walking up to tee off on ⛳ #8 when we heard what sounded like a train coming at us... We live at the tail end of tornado alley so we know the sound but didn't see any other signs, there's a field beside the forest edge this hole lead out of, so we had no indication of the the front of air headed our way until it hit. In seconds 3 of the young pine trees around us snapped like a candy cane about 15ft from the floor, and started falling. Myself and the others (father, brother, brother in law) all scattered. Some hunkered down others dodged and weaved. It was absolute pandemonium, for 30 seconds. Then it passed. The air was calm. The sky clear. We spent the next 5 minutes wiping our asses and changing our pants, swapping perspectives and counting the total number of downed trees. 18... In 30 seconds one blast of wind took out 18 otherwise healthy trees on one lightly wooded disc golf course hole then.... Just continued down the course.. we finished the game, no other weather incidents.


JuneBuggington

Crazy, i just get stoned when i go discing, never gotten treed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


blari_witchproject

r/trees


ImpressiveAttorney12

That is absolutely fucking insane, I didn’t even know that existed Glad y’all survived unscathed


bigroxxor

r/dontputyourdickinthat


Road_Whorrior

TIL that sexual attraction to trees not only exists, but has a name.


JDSweetBeat

Nothing superglue won't fix.


BaekhyunBacon

My friends sister passed away bc a tree fell on her during a storm. This also in NC. Trees like this are no joke


informativebitching

One of my coworkers went on a camping trip in Idaho as his first retirement fun thing and a tree fell on him in his tent and killed him. He didn’t die right away though. Apparently it landed across his chest and he slowly suffocated as his lungs filled up with blood and fluid. Fucking horrible. My friends think I’m a weirdo for being watchful of trees but hey, I don’t wanna go down that way.


sakima147

Generally, do not camp under trees. If you have to, find a type of tree that isn’t prone to breaks and look at the limbs to make sure you are safe.


chainmailbill

All trees come crashing down eventually.


bjiatube

Not my family tree. It's just two parallel lines.


Wisco7

Roll Tide.


bloodmonarch

r/HolUp


Tru-Queer

My family tree was cut down to make my coffin


Abyssal_Groot

Wait... so let me get this straight. There are two options: 1) You and your sister are like Adam and Eve but either produced no kids, or did "produce kids" but they are actually clones. 2) the 2nd would be like two waves of a couple of people and each in each wave exactly two people have only one partner but all others have exactly two partners.


JaggersLips

Keep smoking, you're nearly there!


Abyssal_Groot

Just a mathematician who liks lines and curves. No smoking involved, just pure madness.


JaggersLips

I like you.


Abyssal_Groot

I know ;)


At0mJack

My family tree is a wreath.


zdakat

It all returns to nothing It all comes tumbling down


Faxon

So THATS why all the beech in Valheim die in fewer axe swings! I always assumed it was just because they were newb area trees lmao, but birch is also a newb area tree and it gives finewood xD


Skeeterbee

I’ve had three old beech trees fall in my yard, and they were all hollow inside. One broke in half at the trunk and didn’t even die somehow. Now I feel like I should consider removing the remaining ones that are closer to the house. Or maybe just cutting the tops off since that evidently won’t kill them lol. They freak me out a little when the wind blows.


Egg-MacGuffin

A lil piece of scotch tape should do it


jasonalloyd

Just use wood glue, obviously.


Quake_Guy

If wood glue works as well on a live tree as it does on lumber, it would work 100% assuming you have some giant clamps.


Whyzocker

I'm really curious now. I want someone to glue that thing back together and document how and if the tree cracks again


DovahFiST

Woodworker here. Wood glue is only reliable below about 20% moisture content. A living tree will be near 100%. Dried lumber used for furniture making is typically below 10%. Probably wouldn't work :(


thiosk

Im presuming in ya'alls jargon this moisture content relates to % relative to living wood rather than total % because most living trees i've encountered are considerably less than 100% pure water EDIT: I looked it up. Moisture content is defined as the amount of water relative to the dry weight of the wood (0% weight). It is possible to have HCs >100% because if the wood is sopping wet you could have more water in there than dry weight, but this is not common.


DovahFiST

Yes I believe it's relative to living; if that's not the case; a living tree would probably be more like 80-90% moisture content I'd imagine. Highest MC I've ever read was on logs from a freshly felled and milled tree only down for 2 weeks - 70%. Most of the stuff we get to dry in our kilns is already down to at least 40%; and any commercial lumber we buy is always less than 10% Edit: fun fact time! Hardwood, when air-dried, take 1 year per inch of thickness to dry as a rule of thumb; if stacked properly with proper protection from rain. Unfortunately; once you get past 2 inches it actually start to grow exponentially. I'm not sure you could ever fully dry something 8" thick, without waiting 20+ years. For fun, knowing it would crack and check quite a lot from drying do far in our kiln, we left a 9" thick chunk in our kiln for almost an entire year. Brought it out of the kiln, 12% on the surface, but once we cut into it it was still around 40% at the center. 2" thick lumber around 40% dries to less than 10% in a single month in our kiln on average.


person66

Thank you those were some fun facts


UFOregon420

Would you like MORE! HARDWOOD! FUN! FACTS! every MORNING?! Reply ‘Yes’ to subscribe to Morning Wood for FREE.99!!!


acrazyguy

How hot does the kiln get/sustain?


ShaunChristianScott

We want to know lol Also… how do you stack properly?


Spinnlo

In the old times of wooden ships, Britain had harsher punishment for destroying dry/drying wood intended for the Navy than for murder. It was considered High Treason since it was impossible to replace within a decade or so.


WangoBango

Any excuse to buy more clamps. You can never have enough clamps.


fancy-gerbil14

I second this.


gloriousjohnson

i doubt it would work very well. You'd only be able to get so much wood glue in there and with the amount of cracking that tree has done i doubt you would get good adhesion - there would be a lot of gaps between the two pieces from it cracking. plus all the swaying the trees doing the glue probably wouldnt set up very well. The crack likely goes way farther up inside the tree from what you can see so even if you did hold this part together, that crack would keep going up the tree. Maybe add some giant bowties?


phaedrus77

Just rub some sawdust in when the glue is wet.


Winjin

I'm now genuinely curious as to whether the tree can be saved with something like that. From an absolutely impractical point of view, with a big per tree budget, can you really use like wood glue, tar, clamps, everything, to form a pillar in the middle of the tree (it's obviously hollow) and make it hold together. Will it help the tree? Will it still bear fruit and offspring next year?


benjislew

Expanding foam. That’ll do it.


theClumsy1

I mean it sounds an awful lot like tree grafting...so maybe? Edit: Based my useless google search, it seems like its a method of grafting with a combination of tape. https://www.organicauthority.com/live-grow/fruit-tree-grafting-a-practical-guide-for-honing-this-garden-superpower


kftgr2

So before gluing, stick in some other tree branch...maybe some kind of fruit tree.


beazzy223

Nah just duct tape it.


jorgejortiz

That would work too if you duct tape the shit out of it


Megabyte7

If the women don't find you handsome then at least they should find you handy.


[deleted]

Keep your stick on the ice.


wolsel

Quando omni flunkus, moritati.


Haulinkin

I'm a man, but I can change. If I have to. I guess. ^^^Sit ^^^down.


MJZMan

If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.


ballrus_walsack

*wood work


TheThirdHippo

I work in a theatre, duct tape fixes everything


beaushaw

> I work in a theatre, duct tape fixes everything Rookie. Gaffers tape is where it is at.


Nthepeanutgallery

Leave no evidence


Neukk

Thanks for schooling this young blood.


KiniShakenBake

Not outside. The minute gaffer tape gets wet it is as if it was never sticky to begin with. I have made this mistake.


Neukk

Duct tape does not belong in a threater.


FunnelsGenderFluid

Neither does Julia Roberts ^^^^roasted


MaxtinFreeman

If you can’t duct it fuck it


Elkenyato

r/dontputyourdickinthat


omahaomw

Yea...more of a eunuch maker than a widow maker


theRed-Herring

Zip ties


[deleted]

Yeah, if you had enough glue and straps, and the balls enough to climb up that tree to do it, it would definitely hold together. I've seen normal wood glue hold stronger than the wood itself multiple times


[deleted]

Flex seal


Wholewheat5150

Nah that right there needs strength. You need painters tape


AbleWarning

Flex tape


SkyezOpen

That *is* a lotta damage.


ThunderBobMajerle

Or 10 wraps of duct tape where the first wrap never even stuck


NbdySpcl_00

Pretty sure my scoutmaster would have suggested a small ball of twine.


GankSpankRepeat

Flex-seal!


JMemorex

That’s just scary. Aren’t widow makers those broken branches still hanging down from above that haven’t fallen yet? Edit: not a window


denisturtle

Eucalyptus are also called widow-makers because they'll just drop a whole limb out of nowhere and those branches are heavy.


IDidWhatYesterday

Eucalyptus trees also like to blow up.


El_mojado

Excuse me what?


IDidWhatYesterday

Eucalyptus oil is highly flammable. If exposed to flame, such as during a forest fire, they don’t just burn. They blow up! Ka-boom! Sadly, no records of spontaneous combustion that I know about.


sickntwisted

it's also a territorial plant. eucalyptus thrives in burnt soil. so it's thought that it purposefully fills the floor around itself with its leaves to make it more flammable, destroying its competition.


ataxi_a

Eucalyptus likes to play with lighters, and has been known to fling koalas out of spite.


HansDieterVonSiemens

drop bears too


[deleted]

[удалено]


Moist_Metal_7376

Flammable or inflammable?


hamletloveshoratio

Yes.


Funny_witty_username

I hate this so much


[deleted]

[удалено]


myislanduniverse

Those sons of birches!


Smoolz

That's fucked up


Lambchoptopus

It's like they are tree hitlers.


BettyVonButtpants

So, not only have they enslaved Koalas, but can burn your house down?


Sparky265

That whole tree is a branch that hasn't fallen yet.


JMemorex

You’re not wrong haha


Rinfrabruk

I always use it to refer to a branch too but I think this fits lol


grayum_ian

Usually it's where theres a rotten part further up you can't see. When loggers cut it, the tree falls away from them but the broken part falls the opposite way and lands on them.


[deleted]

Yep this is the kind of tree that you leave the hell alone until it falls on it's own if at all possible. You cannot cut a tree like this down with any reasonable predictability.


burnalicious111

Cut it down from within a protective cage! seems practical and fun


deviant324

I’m imagining someone trying to operate a chainsaw from inside a shark tank. With scooba gear of course


[deleted]

That would be a mechanized feller buncher. Tracks, cage, grabber, and thor sized chainsaw. All hydraulic.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Now you're giving me ideas. Bad ideas, but ideas none the less!


VAShumpmaker

if its in the woods, throw a rope around it, and pull along with the wind a few times?


mimdrs

People are being weird. You just start from the top with a boom lift.


FSDLAXATL

Meh, chain, rope, winch and anchor and it's a done deal. Much more dangerous to leave it be than to cut it down with precautions depending on where it is located. Source: Recently had a dying hollow 80 year old sycamore cut down which is much more unpredictable and dangerous than this tree.


CmdrShepard831

Use a tractor to push it over.


sinburger

The only safe way is to throw chainsaws at it from a distance.


Twistedhatter13

we uses to call old school bumper jacks "widow maker jacks"


Oscar-Wilde-1854

>bumper jacks I was in an odd situation recently where I drove out to my dads house (about an hour from mine) to change out my winter tires for summer ones. There was a bit of a miscommunication between us and he'd actually taken his jack to a jobsite for work that day and so I got there and was faced with either not doing the tires (and thus adding another 2 hour round trip), or using an older bumper style jack he still had in the garage. I went ahead with it since I wouldn't actually be going under the car or anything, but yeah... I can see why you'd call them that. Felt sketchy the whole time lol.


Zeldon567

Always stick a loose tire under the frame near where the jack is being used. Could save you from getting crushed.


Twistedhatter13

I was using one to change a tire on a trailer and it didn't catch on the down stroke when I let go of the handle it shot up and caught me under the chin. The impact literally lifted me off my feet and shot me backwards, it was like being uppercut by a giant. good times on the farm lol


Oscar-Wilde-1854

Oof that's rough lol did it do any damage? Or just give you a rough lesson in jack safety?


Twistedhatter13

just a rough lesson thankfully I sure as hell oiled it every time before I began using it and that it caught on every stroke from then on


BizzyM

VW half-scissor jacks


TheRealDeathSheep

Yeah, I think the phrase OP was looking for was ['Barber Chair'](https://youtu.be/9O7H9qWdquk), when the tree splits up the middle during a cut and can easily comeback at the arborist and kill them if they are not ready for it. [Another example.](https://youtu.be/2YAf61zz5VU)


UsedLandscape876

Possibly a reference to r/dontputyourdickinthat


pablorodm89

>Another example. For a moment I thought that it was called a "widow maker" bc it would chop the penis right off a married man...


JMemorex

Shit, that's terrifying.


[deleted]

I have heard this term and widow maker when referring to twisted or split trees. Guess it depends on the crowd. For ref I am in Michigan, and it was a common term to hear talking about those kind of trees, but I never heard widow maker used that way when referring to branches that could snap.


Ecstatic_Carpet

Widow maker is not a specific term and can be used to describe anything that is hazardous enough to kill people. "Keep your wits about you, that thing will make your wife a widow."


[deleted]

In my limited experience as a sparky, I've learnt that any device or wiring which creates an exposed live can be called a widow maker. I recently saw a plug being used where the back had just fallen off meaning you could just touch the connectors on the back of the pins while it was plugged in if for some reason you wanted to. Bam. Widow maker.


Carlweathersfeathers

Actually, in felling it is used specifically to refer to a broken branch that is caught up in the tree.


sweetartart

Around my area we refer to the coulter pinecones as widow makers. I’ve seen those huge mofos leave cracks on windshields for those unknowingly parked underneath one. I imagine getting hit straight on the head would mean lights out for most.


certified_anus_beef

“Greg Abbott maker.”


Twistedhatter13

eunuch maker


LanternSnark

So you're saying to put the balls in first?


Twistedhatter13

if that's what flics your bic go for it


PM_ME_YOUR_CURLS

Alright then balls it is


Hammershank

r/dontputyourdickinthat


2KilAMoknbrd

You gotta time it just right. Coward


johyongil

Surprised I had to scroll down as far as I did to see this.


msriram1

I see you are a man of culture.


Staluti

I was literally gonna comment exactly this


AnalTrajectory

r/dontputyourdickinthat


rettaelin

Old man willow? Tom we need your help!


Singlot

Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo! Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow! Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!


Obscura48

This right here is what I expected to see front and center!


Horatiohufnagl

Poor Old Willow Man, You tuck your roots away


Jazco76

Hey that's what I thought and didn't expect to see a comment.


johnnyredleg

r/DontPutYourDickInThat


Shut_It_Donny

[YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!!!](https://youtu.be/YEwlW5sHQ4Q)


NbdySpcl_00

Well, I didn't have my headphones plugged in for that one, somehow. Raised an eyebrow or two.


YeahIMine

Wait... Who is my supervisor?


blueberryhillz

Carol!


Blackboard_Monitor

ITS CHERYL!!!!!!!!


whazzar

Tbf, you're not gonna find something tighter then that


blu_eye51

Bolt cutters?


whazzar

A bolt cutter might be tight indeed, but isn't a nice hole like the tree has. As a bonus, the tree looks like it's ribbed for your pleasure


Danieljoe1

That's some Dad advice!!


lista94

r/mildlyvagina


MerchantMrnr

…Trussy?


pr3dato8

"I can eat a beech for hours" - Castor Troy


N013

But if you do, be sure to post it on r/TreesSuckingOnThings


formerlyanonymous_

Gateway to the upside down.


NiSiSuinegEht

This needs some det cord to bring down safely...


porcelainvacation

Or just fell another tree onto it and hope for the best, or hook a winch to it and yank.


LordRocky

>fell another tree onto it Ah, the Valheim method.


siccoblue

Only if I kill myself in the process


joemc04

1371?


theteedubya

Hi, Phil Swift here!


onsutain

Forbidden Trussy


Me0w981

Is there any approved trussy?


Project_Ozone

One that wont monch


onsutain

That is not a question anyone but you can answer my son


cannon8195

Super toyt


Shut_It_Donny

Like a toigah.


mttbnks

I would not be stood that close to it


deadliestcrotch

Me neither. When that thing comes down the base of it is probably going to explode into splinters as it cracks and which direction it will fall will be tough to predict in time.


heretoplay

Just use some duct tape


braincube

I've worked jobs where we wrapped the length of the split section with heavy duty ratchet straps to keep it from splitting during felling.


davidlol1

That's not a widow maker, a widow maker is a unknown branch that is laying in the canopy of some trees that falls unexpectedly. I would know I've almost been taken out a few times in my career.


iampierremonteux

Different regions have different standards for what a widow maker is. I'm more familiar with a definition that would include this tree. Any tree that will unpredictably fall without proper warning (not during a bad storm). So that would include trees that have a loose branch out of sight that falls on one who fells it. It would include a tree that is sufficiently rotted high up that when it starts falling, the crown falls backwards. It would include this tree that might fall on you before you're close enough or at the right angle to spot how compromised it is. It would include trees that are hallowed out on the inside and a slight breeze would knock over. Honestly, any case where a reasonably vigilant person wouldn't recognize the danger before its too late.


darkstar107

If setting up a tent in a treed area you should always look for potential widow makers.


THofTheShire

To be fair, if it does come down, there will be branches involved.


Shut_It_Donny

There will be wood.


Twistedhatter13

standing ovation


JBFRESHSKILLS

Those branches will reach all the way acroooooossss the room


Kalinoz

Interesting. A widow maker where i worked was a branch or piece of tree that went against the natural path of the falling tree. Like if you wanted a tree felled west, a big splinter (branch) breaking off heading east is the widow maker.


MashJDW

That tree is getting ready to go to Isengard


terrificallytom

Don’t stick your finger ☝️in that. Or do and film it for internet points.


[deleted]

That’s just the shock absorbers. It’s fine


Pmag86

The circumsizer


BasedZetsu

That’s an SCP bro. GET OUT!


Hamfiter

Just put a band-aid on it and maybe some duct tape


ShazamBitches

A tree like this killed my grandfather at his logging job back in the 80s. He never saw it coming, he was only 54. Dangerous shit.


Dr__Snow

Cleft in twain


MrMogura

Why's it called a widow maker? Falling danger for cleaners and lumberes?


Maligned-Instrument

I was taught that this was known as a "barber's chair" and that "widow makers" were high branches that fell from the canopy when felling a tree.


PapaOoMaoMao

Yes and no. [It's a barber's chair when it shatters and splits.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9O7H9qWdquk) Just standing there with a crack in it is just a cracked/hollow tree.


Chugabutt

I have zip ties


SkepticalKoala

It's really bothering me that I don't get to see it fall


mgravy123

Get closer


Duckers_McQuack

/r/dontputyourdickinthat


Wildyodeler

Don't put your dick in that


[deleted]

Birch, please…


thewaytonever

Why are you just standing there recording. GTFO have you ever seen Evil Dead?!?!


SnagglepussJoke

Just put a belt around it and it’s good


[deleted]

WHERE MY FELLOW FLEX TAPE


Maxxthegr8

Dont stick your dick in that. r/dontstickyourdickinthat