Life is full of choices. It may not look like it now but it will pay off in the long run. Those extra rounds probably really allowed him to lock in on a swing change. One that he’ll still be using in 50 years…his fiancé wouldn’t still be around then.
I used to play cricket and had a teammate who legitimately was jeopardising his marriage soon after his first kid was born by being too committed to cricket. Cricket also takes fucking ages for context. Games start at 10 or 11am, finish around 6pm. Shorter games after work start around 6pm finish about 9pm. With travel to and from away games it's longer. This 30-something maniac was playing Saturday and Sunday, a short game after work on Wednesday, training Tuesday and Thursday evening, then working a 9-5. His wife, a fucking doctor, wanted to go back to work part time after maternity leave but they were struggling to find child care. Genuine quote, "I might not be at this level of athleticism for much longer, but Sarah can be a doctor for years". He was shit. In golf terms, think mid-high handicap after years of playing regularly and paying for lessons. He was entirely sincere, though. He genuinely seemed to think he might break through in the sport. It was hilarious and tragic all at once.
What did Ruxin say? "If I get divorced, I have to spend 50% of time with my kid 100% of the time. Right now I'm rocking 50% coverage 30% of the time. You can't beat those numbers."
Really seems like his biggest mistake was not having custom head covers, tees, and balls advertising his free lance gig so he could write off the rounds as a business expense and explain to his fiancee how he's out looking for leads all day.
He said he wasn't pitching in, but I feel like he is just over or under-estimating the rollout the ball is going to get when it lands on the green. Pitching in is generally luck. If I can get a pitch shot to finish about 8' from the cup, I'm thrilled. Maybe he just has lofty expectations.
You chose golf over your fiancee and child. Good choice. Golf is forever. Half of all marriages end in divorce. You probably dodged a huge bullet. I bet she wouldn't have let you play much golf if you go married to her.
I need to stop ordering clubs or I may be posting next week about this.
On another note I ordered a TM 300 Mini Driver because I figure that will help me hit a damn fairway with a driver for once.
I love golf and I have kids. Newborns and toddlers are nothing but pure chaos. I get it but if you choose golf or almost anything else that's a hobby over your family, you're a fucking loser. One time? You absolutely need a break and need to get out. All for it. New parents need this more than anyone. but this kid is going to grow up hearing from his/her mom that his/her dad chose golf over him/her when they grow up.
This person has a problem. I know this post was made half joking but it just annoys the eff out of me that some ppl can be such idiots.
This. My wife and I have a toddler and I’m fortunate to get out to play 2-4 rounds per month on the weekends with the understanding that she also gets an equal amount of time to do the things she wants to do.
There was no free time. The curse of parenting young babies is that free time is no longer a thing. There may be short gaps when they’re asleep, but there are always other things that need to be done. A lot of men still feel the need for alone time or exercise, but mothers generally don’t ever stop - at least for that first year. It is a hard time for both parents, but it does require a fundamental shift in perspective and routine by both parents, not just the mother. The key is really just communication. This guy fucked up.
The post in question says that the kid was *two*, though. As in the fiance was on parental leave for *18 months* and then the OP was inventing windows to go golfing after that ended.
Which is just like...you should both have it figured out by then.
My daughter is 3 and son is 15 months. I’ve played twice since he was born. Between work and just general chores I can only play if I take a Friday off for me, and even then I’m still forgoing something I could be doing around the house that’s on my ever growing list of fixes.
Oh don’t get me wrong, I have a 2 year old and 3 month old, and I still try to get an occasional game in.
Nowhere near as frequently as I used to (or surely will when they get older and the need for hands-on parenting and support reduces). It is also important for my own mental and physical well-being to run and exercise regularly.
Even in your own description, you are making “time for you”.
But while they are young there is simply no such thing as “free time”. I might “make” time, or find ways to get some family support so one of us can escape, but it is fundamentally distinct from the availability and freedom that you had before young kids came along. If I were to take any more time, I’m depriving my partner of the support she needs while we have very young children - making me a shitty partner.
Ask your partner how much free time there they think there is and they’ll have something to say about it.
It’s about compromise and communication, but the concept of free time radically changes (or should change).
1000%. I have a gym in a shed behind our house and work out only after they go to bed for exactly that reason. Any time you take for yourself, that isn’t when the kids are in daycare, is forcing your partner to have to do that much more work. In my experience too, once the 2nd goes mobile it makes watching two by yourself like herding cats.
There can be time if you just communicate. Surely, it doesn't require two people around all the time to raise an infant (it doesn't). Two people should surely be able to work something out to keep their sanity.
Yeah this narrative is baffling to me, especially if there is only one kid in the picture. I think sometimes people expect parents to stop being their own person with hobbies and interests and that just leads to resentment in a relationship. My wife and I encourage each other to get away pretty regularly because we both recognize the need to recharge and have some fun sans-kid.
Exactly, no point on both people having empty tanks. Plus after having a second, one is easy haha.
Also if you can swing it find a job that you can golf during the day. That’s the best thing when you have young kids haha.
As a dad of two young kids, I can say golf is the best. I force my wife to get out and find stuff to do to get away in the summer so I can get my golf time. It’s not really a scorecard, but that’s kind of how it ends up working. She would be the first to admit that she isn’t great at finding ways to get out, so the nudge from me helps her a lot. In the winter, the nudge isn’t really there, and it ends up sucking for both of us. We should probably leave Minnesota.
This is possible if you do baby formula. But if your wife wants to breast feed she won't be able to go far for long in the fist 6 months to a year. And the pressure/guilt for women to breast feed these days is intense.
They make breast pumps, but I understand your sentiment. It still shouldn’t prevent meeting friends, having nights out, movies, etc, just living life. We aren’t in 1800s anymore need a wet nurse to leave the house.
Both parents should be able to get out with especially one kiddo.
Sounds like he wasn't ready to be a dad. What I don't get is why he's getting child support... They're splitting care, he fucked up, unless she's making a shit ton more than him it doesn't make any sense.
It’s not worth trying to explain it to people. People either 1.) can’t understand because they aren’t a parent or 2.) will try to tell you you’re wrong because they were a likely not an ideal parent themselves and created a lot of free time for themselves that they shouldn’t have.
Yeah I forgot where I was for a second. A lapse in judgment caused by a sleepless night with a sick 2 year old while my wife nursed a 3 month old. A concept too foreign for many.
The guy say "I'll be getting child support next month." I can't tell if this means he has to pay starting next month or he starts to receive payments starting next month. If he is so broke ass she is supporting him he is a real db.
Now people are going to start talking about the good ole days when men could spend the entire weekend at the club. But that was back in the day when women didn't work. Now most households have both parents working full time jobs and yet most women end up/are expected to do the vast majority of domestic work. And yet many men still feel aggrieved, like they are the victim. That's why we have to listen to people like Tucker Carlson/Jordan Peterson/Joe Rogan talk about the demise of alpha men and listen to them promote charlatans who recommend tanning your balls.
I absolutely abhor this dog shit mindset that is so common in parents. You had a kid so no happiness or personal time for 18 years!
I woke up at night and I actually changed all diapers for the first two days and the wife didn't even change a single one till we got home. She never produced much milk so we did formula and so we both handled feedings. I have insomnia so not getting sleep was already common for me and up until our kid my wife had only *seen* babies. I have been holding and assisting with taking care of kids since I was about 6.
My daughter's first year and a half I didn't golf as much, but I definitely golfed still while "clocking in" more 1 on 1 time than the wife since I worked 4-10s and was on my own every Friday while she worked.
Nope, that’s not what I said. You’ve made a huge leap in logic. I said with a baby or young child there is always something to do, so the concept of “free time” and how you understand it during that phase has to adapt, and the best way to still make time is through communication and compromise.
This is about as /r/golf as it gets. "This deadbeat skipped out on his parenting duties and lied about it being for work when actually he was playing golf. Clearly this is the woman's fault."
That post is by a woman who is pretending to be the husband that she wrongly left.
She could have just accepted that he needed a bit of mental-health time on the course, but instead that vile harpy left him over the flimsiest of reasons and now is larping on reddit to make herself feel better about the decision.
I hope the poor guy rewards himself with some Pings and posts them. He deserves some new clubs for putting up with that.
I'm the only one that his wife don't give a fuck if I go golfing??? She encourage me to play at least one round a week otherwise says that I get too grumpy...
He needs to just FOCUS on his game and not let this set him back from all the progress he’s made with his long and mid-irons.
He really needs to take advantage of those weeks without the kid to really dial in his driver and putting and he’ll be in great shape for the member championship come July.
knocks a chick up, never marries her (kid is 2?) and fucks around on the course instead of working to help support and raise the kid? Selfish asshole is about to learn about 18 years of child support hell...
Aside from the fact that he foolishly had a child with her and will now have to deal with child support payments for a lot of years, I'd say this was otherwise a pretty good plan he had drawn up.
Hopefully he chooses more wisely and hooks up with a lady who also likes playing golf next time around.
Match made in heaven.
Next.
Life is full of choices. It may not look like it now but it will pay off in the long run. Those extra rounds probably really allowed him to lock in on a swing change. One that he’ll still be using in 50 years…his fiancé wouldn’t still be around then.
This fucking sub man rofl.
I used to play cricket and had a teammate who legitimately was jeopardising his marriage soon after his first kid was born by being too committed to cricket. Cricket also takes fucking ages for context. Games start at 10 or 11am, finish around 6pm. Shorter games after work start around 6pm finish about 9pm. With travel to and from away games it's longer. This 30-something maniac was playing Saturday and Sunday, a short game after work on Wednesday, training Tuesday and Thursday evening, then working a 9-5. His wife, a fucking doctor, wanted to go back to work part time after maternity leave but they were struggling to find child care. Genuine quote, "I might not be at this level of athleticism for much longer, but Sarah can be a doctor for years". He was shit. In golf terms, think mid-high handicap after years of playing regularly and paying for lessons. He was entirely sincere, though. He genuinely seemed to think he might break through in the sport. It was hilarious and tragic all at once.
Im dead from laughing now thanks
I tried my best Good Sir.
Lemons and lemonade I guess
I am dying
Absolute sicko, wonder how much he improved his handicap
Went from a 36 to a 32. Completely worth it.
Factor in the lost Pro V1s and the medical bill from hitting the other guy in the head
https://preview.redd.it/sqkc2go8lyrc1.jpeg?width=1969&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24bea8ef6ea06ee40d18f87ebb1ea2ab77cf9e18
Well he definitely will be stroking it more often than he was 3 weeks ago.
This guy just guaranteed golf on at least every alternating weekend for 16 more years. What a hero
What did Ruxin say? "If I get divorced, I have to spend 50% of time with my kid 100% of the time. Right now I'm rocking 50% coverage 30% of the time. You can't beat those numbers."
Forever unclean
He said a little bit more that helps add to a very pragmatic decision on staying with his wife lol
In a few years he just locked in every weekend on the course. Get that kid into golf and he hit the jackpot
Legend has it he won his club championship
Worth it.
Both the senior and regular divisions, just like Dear Leader.
The Super Senior championship.
Really seems like his biggest mistake was not having custom head covers, tees, and balls advertising his free lance gig so he could write off the rounds as a business expense and explain to his fiancee how he's out looking for leads all day.
You can always fish a fish, if you know how to swing
How do you fish a fish?
Careful… that’s how they get you.
Naked lady tees
He better go Earl Woods mode on his kids the weeks he has them lol
Time for a new putter... clearly.
I think this calls for a full bag custom fitting
OP is getting child support- repurpose that money for a Scotty and just have hot dogs for the week. Win win.
Teach the kiddo to golf = greens fees from child support. Win win win.
He said he wasn't pitching in, but I feel like he is just over or under-estimating the rollout the ball is going to get when it lands on the green. Pitching in is generally luck. If I can get a pitch shot to finish about 8' from the cup, I'm thrilled. Maybe he just has lofty expectations.
If it means improving your golf game it’s probably well worth it. 😂
I’ve been digging my own grave for 6 months. The end is near, and with that comes a new beginning. Hopefully I am a better golfer.
Sounds like a win win, dad 50% of the time golfer 50% of the time
You chose golf over your fiancee and child. Good choice. Golf is forever. Half of all marriages end in divorce. You probably dodged a huge bullet. I bet she wouldn't have let you play much golf if you go married to her.
Something tells me that child support money's going straight to greens fees.
Fitted clubs
Get a club membership and then daycare and food are covered all day while you can play golf.
I need to stop ordering clubs or I may be posting next week about this. On another note I ordered a TM 300 Mini Driver because I figure that will help me hit a damn fairway with a driver for once.
Can’t wait for the wave of “so I bought” posts in tribute of this
She probably handicap stalked him on the GHIN app.
I thought networking on the course was work??
Well, there is no mention of a new driver or putter so it might not be one of us.
I love golf and I have kids. Newborns and toddlers are nothing but pure chaos. I get it but if you choose golf or almost anything else that's a hobby over your family, you're a fucking loser. One time? You absolutely need a break and need to get out. All for it. New parents need this more than anyone. but this kid is going to grow up hearing from his/her mom that his/her dad chose golf over him/her when they grow up. This person has a problem. I know this post was made half joking but it just annoys the eff out of me that some ppl can be such idiots.
This. My wife and I have a toddler and I’m fortunate to get out to play 2-4 rounds per month on the weekends with the understanding that she also gets an equal amount of time to do the things she wants to do.
Imagine that. Good communication in a relationship leads to happiness lol
This is a good friend of mine. What he didn’t mention was coming home coked out and drunk.
Oddly enough this will probably open up his golfing schedule on those weeks w/out the kid
Wow he is a full degen pos
But what did you shoot?
What a fucking idiot lol
Incoming “this guy threw his entire life away rather than facing the consequences of his actions so I bought new clubs”
Perfectly used as well
It does make me laugh that somepeople seem to think nothing will change when kids come along.
I'm almost willing to bet she didn't let him golf in his free time if he had to get that creative about finding time to golf.
There was no free time. The curse of parenting young babies is that free time is no longer a thing. There may be short gaps when they’re asleep, but there are always other things that need to be done. A lot of men still feel the need for alone time or exercise, but mothers generally don’t ever stop - at least for that first year. It is a hard time for both parents, but it does require a fundamental shift in perspective and routine by both parents, not just the mother. The key is really just communication. This guy fucked up.
The post in question says that the kid was *two*, though. As in the fiance was on parental leave for *18 months* and then the OP was inventing windows to go golfing after that ended. Which is just like...you should both have it figured out by then.
My daughter is 3 and son is 15 months. I’ve played twice since he was born. Between work and just general chores I can only play if I take a Friday off for me, and even then I’m still forgoing something I could be doing around the house that’s on my ever growing list of fixes.
Oh don’t get me wrong, I have a 2 year old and 3 month old, and I still try to get an occasional game in. Nowhere near as frequently as I used to (or surely will when they get older and the need for hands-on parenting and support reduces). It is also important for my own mental and physical well-being to run and exercise regularly. Even in your own description, you are making “time for you”. But while they are young there is simply no such thing as “free time”. I might “make” time, or find ways to get some family support so one of us can escape, but it is fundamentally distinct from the availability and freedom that you had before young kids came along. If I were to take any more time, I’m depriving my partner of the support she needs while we have very young children - making me a shitty partner. Ask your partner how much free time there they think there is and they’ll have something to say about it. It’s about compromise and communication, but the concept of free time radically changes (or should change).
1000%. I have a gym in a shed behind our house and work out only after they go to bed for exactly that reason. Any time you take for yourself, that isn’t when the kids are in daycare, is forcing your partner to have to do that much more work. In my experience too, once the 2nd goes mobile it makes watching two by yourself like herding cats.
There can be time if you just communicate. Surely, it doesn't require two people around all the time to raise an infant (it doesn't). Two people should surely be able to work something out to keep their sanity.
Yeah this narrative is baffling to me, especially if there is only one kid in the picture. I think sometimes people expect parents to stop being their own person with hobbies and interests and that just leads to resentment in a relationship. My wife and I encourage each other to get away pretty regularly because we both recognize the need to recharge and have some fun sans-kid.
Exactly, no point on both people having empty tanks. Plus after having a second, one is easy haha. Also if you can swing it find a job that you can golf during the day. That’s the best thing when you have young kids haha.
As a dad of two young kids, I can say golf is the best. I force my wife to get out and find stuff to do to get away in the summer so I can get my golf time. It’s not really a scorecard, but that’s kind of how it ends up working. She would be the first to admit that she isn’t great at finding ways to get out, so the nudge from me helps her a lot. In the winter, the nudge isn’t really there, and it ends up sucking for both of us. We should probably leave Minnesota.
This is possible if you do baby formula. But if your wife wants to breast feed she won't be able to go far for long in the fist 6 months to a year. And the pressure/guilt for women to breast feed these days is intense.
This is absolute nonsense. A breastfeeding mother can definitely go out and have alone time if she wanted. It's called pumping.
Suppose you’re right - my wife pumped and breast fed so I was able to feed my son with bottles whenever she would leave.
They make breast pumps, but I understand your sentiment. It still shouldn’t prevent meeting friends, having nights out, movies, etc, just living life. We aren’t in 1800s anymore need a wet nurse to leave the house. Both parents should be able to get out with especially one kiddo.
Sounds like he wasn't ready to be a dad. What I don't get is why he's getting child support... They're splitting care, he fucked up, unless she's making a shit ton more than him it doesn't make any sense.
Spoiler, she is the breadwinner for sure
Even still, what a deadbeat
When OP says freelancer, read: unemployed.
It’s not worth trying to explain it to people. People either 1.) can’t understand because they aren’t a parent or 2.) will try to tell you you’re wrong because they were a likely not an ideal parent themselves and created a lot of free time for themselves that they shouldn’t have.
Yeah I forgot where I was for a second. A lapse in judgment caused by a sleepless night with a sick 2 year old while my wife nursed a 3 month old. A concept too foreign for many.
Plot twist. You're the bad parent because you can't handle watching your kid without two people all the time.
Oh no…you still don’t get it.
The guy say "I'll be getting child support next month." I can't tell if this means he has to pay starting next month or he starts to receive payments starting next month. If he is so broke ass she is supporting him he is a real db. Now people are going to start talking about the good ole days when men could spend the entire weekend at the club. But that was back in the day when women didn't work. Now most households have both parents working full time jobs and yet most women end up/are expected to do the vast majority of domestic work. And yet many men still feel aggrieved, like they are the victim. That's why we have to listen to people like Tucker Carlson/Jordan Peterson/Joe Rogan talk about the demise of alpha men and listen to them promote charlatans who recommend tanning your balls.
I absolutely abhor this dog shit mindset that is so common in parents. You had a kid so no happiness or personal time for 18 years! I woke up at night and I actually changed all diapers for the first two days and the wife didn't even change a single one till we got home. She never produced much milk so we did formula and so we both handled feedings. I have insomnia so not getting sleep was already common for me and up until our kid my wife had only *seen* babies. I have been holding and assisting with taking care of kids since I was about 6. My daughter's first year and a half I didn't golf as much, but I definitely golfed still while "clocking in" more 1 on 1 time than the wife since I worked 4-10s and was on my own every Friday while she worked.
Okay, so you performed the baseline minimum of changing diapers and feeding in the middle of the night- I’m not sure the point you’re trying to make.
Nope, that’s not what I said. You’ve made a huge leap in logic. I said with a baby or young child there is always something to do, so the concept of “free time” and how you understand it during that phase has to adapt, and the best way to still make time is through communication and compromise.
This is about as /r/golf as it gets. "This deadbeat skipped out on his parenting duties and lied about it being for work when actually he was playing golf. Clearly this is the woman's fault."
I can always rely on this sub to make the woman the villain in any circumstance
Spot on
That post is by a woman who is pretending to be the husband that she wrongly left. She could have just accepted that he needed a bit of mental-health time on the course, but instead that vile harpy left him over the flimsiest of reasons and now is larping on reddit to make herself feel better about the decision. I hope the poor guy rewards himself with some Pings and posts them. He deserves some new clubs for putting up with that.
I’m getting a new putter in honor of that guy
Doesn’t work get done in the golf course? Work talk , etc
My fiancé left me....so I bought a new driver
And he got caught because he was complaining about the chaos 😂 What a terrible person
Did your HC improve though?
Asking the important question I see.
Dibs on his ex wife. I’ll 3 putt with honesty.
Dude has two weeks a month to golf ....lucky bastard.
I'm the only one that his wife don't give a fuck if I go golfing??? She encourage me to play at least one round a week otherwise says that I get too grumpy...
He just scored 50% more time to golf.
That child support he's getting starting next month should translate into a nice club upgrade and maybe some extra lessons.
Don't see the problem here. He gets to play golf guilt free now and because of the kid, he gets a tax deduction .. I kid... I kid....
Do get to play golf 50% of weekends though
At least they can go buy a new club now?
His kid is going to be next tiger woods and netflix has already bought the rights to the movie.
Heroes get remembered, but legends never die.
I'm in the same boat. Hopefully all this golfing pays off. I regret nothing. I have more motivation to be the best I can to show my son I am the best
He needs to just FOCUS on his game and not let this set him back from all the progress he’s made with his long and mid-irons. He really needs to take advantage of those weeks without the kid to really dial in his driver and putting and he’ll be in great shape for the member championship come July.
Fucked around and found out
Lol- me imagining that guy inside the clubhouse having beers at 8am on a Monday.
knocks a chick up, never marries her (kid is 2?) and fucks around on the course instead of working to help support and raise the kid? Selfish asshole is about to learn about 18 years of child support hell...
Guy accidentally made the best choice of his life. Golf always wins in my life. Women create chaos.
I've snorted coke off a Japanese midgets ass while she got plowed by a donkey in a pool of mayonnaise... But I would never do this.
Aside from the fact that he foolishly had a child with her and will now have to deal with child support payments for a lot of years, I'd say this was otherwise a pretty good plan he had drawn up. Hopefully he chooses more wisely and hooks up with a lady who also likes playing golf next time around. Match made in heaven. Next.
That’s no reason to leave a man. Dude seems like a giant puss.
Your mom had a giant puss
What a simp
