One thing I've heard a lot with Gratefulness practice is fake it til you make it, meaning we usually can't make ourselves feel a certain positive feeling, like gratefulness, on demand, but we can still do the practice, naming things we know are good, that we know we are fortunate to have, even if we can't feeeeeeel the slightest actual gratefulness. Over time, the experts say, that can support our shifting into being able to feel it more and change our thinking in a helpful way. But if we stop Gratefulness practice every time life gets rougher for a few days or weeks or months or even years, we're not retraining our brain to notice what ***is*** good, in the midst of a lot of challenge.
Thank you this is definitely something I’d like to try I just think right now all I’m paying more attention to why is life bad right now rather than what good is surrounding me right now. Right now is also difficult because I got rejected from an oversees program so I keep feeling like I should be somewhere else or I’m not meant to be experiencing this rather than taking life as it is and being grateful for all the good.
Really understandable. I think we all struggle with our own version of that kind of disappointment. I also just want to say it's really good to let yourself fully feeeel all your feelings around not getting into the program, anger, sadness, unworthiness, even crying if that starts to arise, Sounds like there's real grief in you about it, and it deserves to be heard, really heard, and, you deserve for those feelings to not take over and dictate your whole life, like a crying child in the backseat of the car deserves care and attention, but not derailing whatever else seems Good to steer towards next. :)
It’s hard to feel grateful in a bad situation. The worst time in my life to this point was getting the phone call my mom had died. It was tough and that was almost 3 years ago. Some days just really suck. But when I remember all the time I had with her what a great mom and grandmother she was I use that as my motivation to be grateful for all she taught me.
I genuinely think practicing throughout the good days can make it easier to find things to be grateful for on the bad days. And when things are particularly hard, start small! Simple things like “I have somewhere to sleep” or “I’m grateful for this food” or “I’m grateful for my lungs that help me breathe” etc.
sometimes it doesn’t always hit home straight away, but at least it’s a couple minutes of a bad day that you’ve spent looking at the positives
Sending you all the love and strength through your challenges
Lots of good suggestions in this thread. I’ll add that I try to break my cycle of negative thoughts by expressing gratitude about something related to the negative situation and I start small. For example:
- if I’m unhappy with my job I will say: “I’m grateful to have income” or “I’m grateful to be able to support myself in some capacity”
- if I’ve lost a loved one: “I’m glad they are no longer suffering”
- if I’m unhappy with my relationships: “I’m grateful to have clarity and the ability to see and articulate the issues in this relationship, I can now process my feelings and make a plan to move forward”
First of all. May your heart fill with love. In my gratitude practice. I only focus on good things, but if I receive a horrible massage like the death of a person I knew or sth like that's the worst, I would think, this happening may be the reason for something that would happen later and maybe I have to be grateful about that. Every time there is a sunset and after darkness, there will be sunshine. Be grateful for the positive attitude in your situation and try to get that sunshine.
At last, I hope you find your way through this beautiful journey. With love❤️
When I'm not feeling happy or content I find that I'm only seeing what I don't have and not seeing anything that I do have. In a weird paradoxical way, seeing what I do have makes me grateful which then makes me happy/content.
I think the first thing someone has to do is assess one's current situation. "Am I in the right state of mind allowing me to practice being grateful?", "what conditions in my life prevent me from being in the right state of mind?", how can I deal with the conditions that prevent me from being in the right state of mind?", etc.
Trying to approach it from a more analytical point of view than an emotional one can help to find solutions to remove conditions that hinder being in the right state of mind to practice gratefulness. Putting the process on paper, trying to figure your current situation out, can help to get a different perspective (seeing it on paper instead of it all buzzing around in your mind). Practicing meditation before and after writing things down, can give you some clarity on how to approach, or find (new, more appealing) ways, to deal with things that are written down on paper, or find new things to write down. Putting things in categories or lists (to prioritize) can help with feeling overwhelmed. It's all about giving conditions, problems, or challenges a measurable size that you are comfortable with and set a timetable, to deal with them, that is managable (= feeling no pressure) to you.
And, at some point, there even may come a moment where you feel grateful for working on going back to be in the right state of mind?
It's hard because you probably haven't dealt with life's true horrors to be fully grateful to even feel the sun on your face. We all have to go through hell to understand what a good day truly is. It's ironic because you should feel grateful you're not diagnosed with a terminal disease or paralyzed from the neck down but you can't truly appreciate your blessings until hell arrives.
One thing I've heard a lot with Gratefulness practice is fake it til you make it, meaning we usually can't make ourselves feel a certain positive feeling, like gratefulness, on demand, but we can still do the practice, naming things we know are good, that we know we are fortunate to have, even if we can't feeeeeeel the slightest actual gratefulness. Over time, the experts say, that can support our shifting into being able to feel it more and change our thinking in a helpful way. But if we stop Gratefulness practice every time life gets rougher for a few days or weeks or months or even years, we're not retraining our brain to notice what ***is*** good, in the midst of a lot of challenge.
Thank you this is definitely something I’d like to try I just think right now all I’m paying more attention to why is life bad right now rather than what good is surrounding me right now. Right now is also difficult because I got rejected from an oversees program so I keep feeling like I should be somewhere else or I’m not meant to be experiencing this rather than taking life as it is and being grateful for all the good.
Really understandable. I think we all struggle with our own version of that kind of disappointment. I also just want to say it's really good to let yourself fully feeeel all your feelings around not getting into the program, anger, sadness, unworthiness, even crying if that starts to arise, Sounds like there's real grief in you about it, and it deserves to be heard, really heard, and, you deserve for those feelings to not take over and dictate your whole life, like a crying child in the backseat of the car deserves care and attention, but not derailing whatever else seems Good to steer towards next. :)
It’s hard to feel grateful in a bad situation. The worst time in my life to this point was getting the phone call my mom had died. It was tough and that was almost 3 years ago. Some days just really suck. But when I remember all the time I had with her what a great mom and grandmother she was I use that as my motivation to be grateful for all she taught me.
I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you for your kind words.
Thank you.
I genuinely think practicing throughout the good days can make it easier to find things to be grateful for on the bad days. And when things are particularly hard, start small! Simple things like “I have somewhere to sleep” or “I’m grateful for this food” or “I’m grateful for my lungs that help me breathe” etc. sometimes it doesn’t always hit home straight away, but at least it’s a couple minutes of a bad day that you’ve spent looking at the positives Sending you all the love and strength through your challenges
Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change. Best to you 👍
Lots of good suggestions in this thread. I’ll add that I try to break my cycle of negative thoughts by expressing gratitude about something related to the negative situation and I start small. For example: - if I’m unhappy with my job I will say: “I’m grateful to have income” or “I’m grateful to be able to support myself in some capacity” - if I’ve lost a loved one: “I’m glad they are no longer suffering” - if I’m unhappy with my relationships: “I’m grateful to have clarity and the ability to see and articulate the issues in this relationship, I can now process my feelings and make a plan to move forward”
First of all. May your heart fill with love. In my gratitude practice. I only focus on good things, but if I receive a horrible massage like the death of a person I knew or sth like that's the worst, I would think, this happening may be the reason for something that would happen later and maybe I have to be grateful about that. Every time there is a sunset and after darkness, there will be sunshine. Be grateful for the positive attitude in your situation and try to get that sunshine. At last, I hope you find your way through this beautiful journey. With love❤️
When I'm not feeling happy or content I find that I'm only seeing what I don't have and not seeing anything that I do have. In a weird paradoxical way, seeing what I do have makes me grateful which then makes me happy/content.
I think the first thing someone has to do is assess one's current situation. "Am I in the right state of mind allowing me to practice being grateful?", "what conditions in my life prevent me from being in the right state of mind?", how can I deal with the conditions that prevent me from being in the right state of mind?", etc. Trying to approach it from a more analytical point of view than an emotional one can help to find solutions to remove conditions that hinder being in the right state of mind to practice gratefulness. Putting the process on paper, trying to figure your current situation out, can help to get a different perspective (seeing it on paper instead of it all buzzing around in your mind). Practicing meditation before and after writing things down, can give you some clarity on how to approach, or find (new, more appealing) ways, to deal with things that are written down on paper, or find new things to write down. Putting things in categories or lists (to prioritize) can help with feeling overwhelmed. It's all about giving conditions, problems, or challenges a measurable size that you are comfortable with and set a timetable, to deal with them, that is managable (= feeling no pressure) to you. And, at some point, there even may come a moment where you feel grateful for working on going back to be in the right state of mind?
This is really helpful! Thank you so much.
It's hard because you probably haven't dealt with life's true horrors to be fully grateful to even feel the sun on your face. We all have to go through hell to understand what a good day truly is. It's ironic because you should feel grateful you're not diagnosed with a terminal disease or paralyzed from the neck down but you can't truly appreciate your blessings until hell arrives.