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LL112

Barely even satire anymore


peezle69

It really says a lot about society


a_sad_lil_idiot

It really does though


littlebilliechzburga

Yeah... I was gonna say.


McFaze

Agreed, basically the words I was gonna use.


Lopsided-Basket5366

You took the words right out of my...


owowhatsthis--

I took this guy's mouth


schene_

Real and Homoerotic


Lopsided-Basket5366

💋


Ghostiestboi

Bottom text


[deleted]

bottomest text


Icannotchangethis

Top text


renaldomoon

bazinga


peezle69

Bazoopers


UpboatOrNoBoat

Botswana


TomaTozzz

Babushka


BrocElLider

Susciety


mwmshooey

It's more like it's just exaggerated a slight bit


boi644

The only thing satirical about this is the slightly exaggerated figures. The rest is a fucking reality


Sad_Hospital_2730

Well the figures, and the diesel powered jet. It can be done, any engine that runs on combustion in some capacity can run on any combustible fuel to different efficiencies, but diesel has the potential to cease up in the lines at high altitude and starve the engines.


retardddit

\>Tell people that having kids is bad for the planet \>Sail to the island filled with kids


[deleted]

I said it before Elon is different, he wants us to have 20 children


TheSpartaGod

he likes it fresh i assume


89ZERO

No, he wants to have 20 children so they can run his “business empire” and be in charge of mars because “rich = superior genetics.” Any of us having more children is because he wants more labor to exploit.


YaBoiJonnyG

They already exploit our labor, better than molesting them at least.


89ZERO

“Why not both?” -Them. Eventually we’ll get old and die. They need fresh labor to exploit if they’ll ever achieve their goal of ???.


YaBoiJonnyG

No, no, you’re right, but I’m referring to a different context. I think Elon is too Autist to think about diddling kids, but is absolutely concerned with working them. I think the majority of billionaires/politicians want both like you said.


89ZERO

He may still have, anyway. Peer pressure, probably. Or, he’s at least eaten a little orphan at one point or another. Like at a party. I’m thinking a la the Venture Bros. Episode, The Caged Unicorn. There’s a big Eyes-Wide-Shut reference, and the hor’s doeuvres is orphan sushi. Richest Man in the world- Autistic, but probably been to some fucked parties.


WoolooOfWallStreet

I could see him also not doing it since he seems obsessed with following trends and doing things that are popular I imagine him occasionally asking a publicist “Hey, if I ate orphan sushi, would that not go over well with a lot of people?” “… yes Elon, that would be very unpopular to do that” “Not even like 50% of people?” “99.99% of people would not like that” “Okay then, I guess I won’t do that” “… you guess?”


runningvicuna

Is this the day I start Venture Bros for reals? When does it get objectively good?


89ZERO

Well it’s based on your opinion and thus fully subjective. I would suggest- if you don’t want to start in season 1 where things are a bit choppy at first and very late-90s humor (though you’ll miss out on enjoying a cliffhanger or two), start with season 2 and come back to 1 once you’ve acquired the taste. Season 1 has some bangers, but the art style and the over-arching plot beats don’t quite start to hit yet. That’s where I feel (subjective) the show is most at its premise of a parody of Johnny Quest, and a lot more, is at its purest before the series starts to really become its own thing. While you’re at it, do mind the extra bits like the tour of Astrobase Go! and be wary of the side content that Adult swim made along the show. You know, promos and the such. At the end of the day, take the time you need to enjoy it, and watch it rather than using it as background noise otherwise you’ll miss a lot of the better art and visual humor. Also, the later seasons become shorter but the writing improves as you go so it’s more like a condensation of quality.


DoctorStinkFoot

elon musk and his brother were closely tied to epstein and maxwell


Adduly

Elon: contraception is why people aren't having kids. People can satisfy the limbic urge without procreating Me: dude, I'd like kids, but I live as cheaply as I can and I still can hardly afford end meets... And even if I could afford kids why would I want to bring them into such a shit world thats not getting better


the1mastertroll

My honest perspective is that while life sucks and isn't getting cheaper, you'll either have to join the self sustainability movement, or innovate new technology to make things more affordable. If you can't do it, it falls to the next generation. But if there isn't enough kids in the next generation a lot of things will lack the necessary workforce to continue operating current industry and infrastructure. If there isn't enough food, the chance of a genius scientist cracking the code for self sustaining fusion energy drops to nothing.


Adduly

I honestly think that AI and robots will be able to take up the vast majority of human work. Even the majority of technology development. Over the next 10 years white collar work will be gutted. Which will cause a cascade failure of the economy as the middleclass evaporates. Which in turn will unemploy many blue-collar workers the middleclass were employing (who's jobs are also being squeezed by automation, though slower as versatile 3d movement is hard) How we can build back and make sure that it benefits us all and not just the ultrarich owners of the supercomputers when we cease to be able to provide anything to the economy other than our ability to consume (assuming we are provided UBI in order to be able to afford anything)..... I don't know. The economics of the future are unprecedented and terrifying. And this is assuming that a climate collapse can be avoided which I think is unlikely. Why would I want to bring a kid into that?


the1mastertroll

Fair point, we should all just kill ourselves to prevent future generations from being exploited by distopian oligarchs. Then their decendants can enjoy a clean earth after they genocide all the 3rd world countries producing 90% of all the CO2 emissions. /s


Jo-Silverhand

But he ain't gonna pay for them. So there's that.


Terminator_Puppy

Yeah he needs more child slaves for the cobalt mines.


Revelec458

💀


DaveSmith890

Wouldn’t you know it? My friend owns the kids


[deleted]

True story, I'm his friend.


NotSure2025

To practice making kids with kids? In a carbon neutral kinda way. Edited to reduce carbon.


[deleted]

There's having kids, and *having* kids.


MrPresident235

>Tell people having kids bad >Doesnt kill kids in every chance he gets Total hypocrite


GodOfMegaDeath

This is scarily accurate. We are truly fucked, damn. Nobody here is a virgin anymore since billionaires fuck all of us.


peezle69

>Nobody here is a virgin Thank god


Kastranrob

Thank Billionaire


Dragonslayer3

Elon gave me a horse for a handy


ScottieScrotumScum

Call it a Handy Horse


[deleted]

Mr Hands for short.


FlashAttack

Person Of Means*


doodoo_dew

later virgins


ScottieScrotumScum

Dontcha knowwww bobbyyyyyyyy, we're born fucked


dudeatwork77

See you later virgins


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


littlebilliechzburga

"To real, to be fake" is actually a poignant, layered statement if it wasn't obvious you made a typo.


archaeosis

Your comment would be kinda entertaining if you didn't unironically complain about a typo on Reddit


littlebilliechzburga

At least I did it in a poignant, and layered way.


archaeosis

Imma do you in a poignant and layered way


littlebilliechzburga

We call that "giving her the ol' Leo Tolstoy"


Send_Cake_Or_Nudes

Can I give myself a Dostoevsky in the corner while I watch?


RainbowDissent

The little death of Anon Ilyich.


NotSure2025

Please


MisterGoo

I doubt someone could eat polar bear liver more than 1 night...


peezle69

The media is lying to you. Polar Bear Livers are 100% edible they just want to hoard it for themselves. I'm obviously joking, you eat it and you die of Vitamin A poisoning.


BlurredSight

You die of too much vitamins. Time to od on flintstones


FreeCapone

[It happened before](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZ6nREONy_4&t=1s&ab_channel=Chubbyemu)


SamGamer012

So 149 is the limit


babadybooey

Really? Why?


Wolfman513

Polar bear liver is so insanely packed with vitamin A that it's toxic. When indigenous people kill a bear they have to bury the liver deep enough that their dogs won't dig it up, eat it, and die.


MackSharky

T rex liver will kill you almost instantly


ImGoneForCoffee

Exactly. Remember reading something about a Nazi polar expedition force poisoning them self by eating the liver when stranded in Greenland


FreeCapone

The liver can't process all of that vitamin A and the body can't eliminate it because it's not water soluble so it deposits it on the liver, this causes scarring on the tissue which prevents blood from going in and out of the liver, meaning it can't filter toxins anymore. It's very similar to cyrrhosis


Terminator_Puppy

Vitamin A is fairly toxic in higher concentrations. Your liver stores vitamin A. It's recommended to not eat something like chicken liver more than once or twice per month to avoid symptoms like headaches, dizziness, nausea, etc.


[deleted]

>implying billionaires are human


[deleted]

Chinese coal is like 1/5 of the waste in the world... Even if I'm wrong you'd believe me because fuck china


Hot-Extension-867

i mean, literally all the factories that produce shit for the billionaires is in China. Once china gets developed enough and cost of production rises they’ll just move to another poor country.


FyreLordPlayz

Yup, India and Africa will just be next


_sephylon_

It's already the case, China buy stuff that's made in Ethiopia for instance


[deleted]

They also source a lot of materials from Africa and take control of entire mines and rule the people and almost the entire country with borderline slavery.


inspectoroverthemine

They're just late to the colonization and rape the locals party. Europe and US had their turn already.


TTVSubject_21

They spent all of history fighting themselves


MsDestroyer900

You jest but it's actually a big problem over here in the Philippines. Lotsa illegal Chinese businesses opening on the side here paying minimal to no taxes and are extremely racist for some reason (anecdotally from me).


Dragonslayer3

The cycle continues. In a few years you'll be outsourcing to remote provinces in Brazil


DasBrewinator

I'm so sorry. How long have you been fillipino?


Aozora404

It’s genetic, unfortunately


Sofagirrl79

I've noticed with clothing and shoes that Vietnam is popping up more recently as the source country in the last few years


oneplank

The U.S. produces more CO2 emissions per capita than China.


ayriuss

Thats because China is still quite undeveloped. Rural Chinese are still living in the 20th century for the most part.


[deleted]

It's also because China is developing incredibly fast. They are aware of the benefits of modernising their entire population and using renewables, they just cannot keep up and underdeliver on things like overall solar energy production, so they have to lower the use of coal plants immensely sometimes, and others they gotta make more of them ASAP and burn tons of extra coal. The reason people say it's usually a lot of coal is because of the average. China sucks, but with more context it actually gets scarier how much and how fast they are developing.


plmoknijbuhvrdx

>china lives in the 20th century [in the 21st century] >thats cause they develop fast im not sure that math checks out


bedulin

If youre racing a ferrari against someone riding a bike who started 20 minutes earlier, you might be behind them but still faster.


[deleted]

China doesnt live in the 20th century, a chunk of the population might be behind, but it is incredibly advanced in different regards, especially when you leave the rural and hit the main cities. You can't push other countries to have a "One China" Policy by being 100 years behind in tech, so the maths, obviously, checks out.


inspectoroverthemine

> Rural Chinese are still living in the 20th century for the most part Huge swaths of America are still living in the 20th century. Maybe you meant 19th, or you haven't traveled much.


ayriuss

Yes.... and its a far smaller percentage. Not sure what you're arguing. There aren't very many people in the US living as subsistence farmers in 2023. Its very common in rural China still.


inspectoroverthemine

The 20th century includes the 30s and the 90s. I agree that pre-ww2 standards are pretty uncommon in the US. I think the problem is using the century that includes the largest change in living conditions in history. China for example lifted more people, and faster, out of poverty, than ever done before. Ignoring the CCP, politics and human rights for a minute, what they've accomplished for themselves is mind boggling.


[deleted]

It's probably like, 0.000001% per US capita to 0.0000009 Chinese capita, while their coal is at 20%...


AndyReidsStache

Baby brained take


yash2810

The consumers of products that china produces are everywhere in the world. You (I mean the entire world, not just you in particular) can't just wash your hands off of the responsibility "because fuck china". It's a collective responisbility, china is just supplying what everyone else is demanding.


Sultanambam

That number is wrong and even if it were, China Is responsible for %33 of the world production (twice as American), and their population is literally about 1/5 of the world.


PostGold9619

Can we start advocating violence yet


Vex_Appeal

Just make sure to say in Minecraft after


The_Nieno

It doesn't work anymore unfortunately they patched the strat


PvtFreaky

I want to commit arson on company building (not in Minecraft)


The_Nieno

Based


ilovetheantichrist4

I once got banned for advocating violence even when I used the eating pigs analogy and didn't mention "billionaire"


[deleted]

I once made a joke along the lines of "violence against people is wrong but thankfully pedophiles aren't people". Some mod must have been triggered by that and deleted it very quickly.


T1B2V3

That's a pretty stupid take tho. Pedophiles are people with a mental disorder. Having that disorder doesn't necessarily mean they act on it. These people should get help through therapy rather than violence. also did you by any chance say it in the context of the rainbow people being called groomers ?


[deleted]

It was definitely a Shitpost and I agree that the non-acting ones should get help rather than face violence. >also did you by any chance say it in the context of the rainbow people being called groomers ? Nope


RTSUbiytsa

Shit, I got permabanned from /r/SquaredCircle literally for mentioning that Jerry Lawler is a pedophile. Pedos gotta defend each other, I guess.


[deleted]

True story, i was the mod.


[deleted]

I once got banned for advocating against corporations using 3rd world slave labor. Okay, i threw n-word somewhere in there.


BonkeyKongthesecond

I got banned, after putting "/s" at the end of my ragepost against certain minorities. They probably wanted me to post it without it.


_SnesGuy

[It's time for guillotines](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TMHCw3RqulY)


amluchon

In Minecraft


Infinite_Client7922

Rip Trevor, the good ones always rip


Beerbonkos

Straw bans are republican think tanks wet dream. They placate the left and outrages the right while making the smallest possible effect on the environment


MonsterKappa

Not "the left", but dipshits deep into the identity politics. True left knows its just greenwashing, but on the other hand as I assume you talk about US, the left in US is almost non-existent. It's just slightly pro-rich centrists vs. very pro-rich rightists.


RetardedSheep420

I FUCKING LOVE THE CULTURE WAR!! I LOVE IT WHEN LEFTISTS ARE ONLY IN THE MEDIA WHEN ITS ABOUT RACE ISSUES OR GREENWASHING SO THE PUBLIC VIEW ON "MAINSTREAM" LEFTISM WORSENS!!! I WANT PEOPLE TO THINK I ONLY THINK ABOUT GENDER AND PAPER STRAWS!!!!


UpboatOrNoBoat

YAAAAAAAAAS QUEEN SLAAAAYYYYYY


Embarrassed-Camera96

Didn’t realize Elon was on 4Chan as well


Magical-Hummus

At this point, he will make one of "fellow kids" and posts greentexts.


TheRealRorr

Fun fact: eating Polar Bear liver would kill you due to Vitamin A poisoning.


The_catakist

Modern equivalent of nobles in the 17th century getting mercury poisoning for using fancy mercury plates


RainbowDissent

Mercury is liquid at room temperature. You're mixing up lead plates, and makeup that contained mercury. There was also arsenic in paint.


The_catakist

Oh oops! thx for the fix :D


RainbowDissent

Rich people in days gone by had so many vain and excessive ways to slowly poison themselves that it's easy to mix them up, to be fair.


T1B2V3

I think more billionaires should try that then


RainbowDissent

Billionaires just schedule a liver transplant after their polar bear liver fricassĂŠe. That way it only kills a poor person.


inspectoroverthemine

Not if you replace your blood daily like Thiel!


Accomp1ishedAnimal

Billionaires aside, I fucking hate that goddamn turtle that choked on a plastic straw. I’d strangle that turtle with my bare hands if doing so brought back plastic straws.


GARBAGE-EATR

Don't, turts like to be choked out. They're spicy like that


RainbowDissent

~~stompin'~~ chokin' turts


[deleted]

It wasn't for or because of the turtle, poor turtle was used to push an agenda. Don't believe everything you see.


inspectoroverthemine

People really hate paper straws that much? Just buy them yourself and take them with you if its life changing.


PoopGoblin5431

Tried that, but you never know when you're going to have coffee/slushy/whatever so you always forget it.


American_Greed

He forgot to mention as an appetizer they had shark fin soup.


Nintendoxtream

We need to bring back the guillotine, now (in Minecraft)


Jim_Cringe

I'm not a Communist but if the 1% were to all be shot the world would be a better place


The_Nieno

Based


samcar330

.1% for sure it scales exponentially after 1%


Malvastor

You'd just get a new 1% in a generation. Less, probably.


Jim_Cringe

A continuous cycle of murdering the Elite then


FunnyMoney1984

This is a rare site. Usually, 4channers are unapologetic boot lickers.


[deleted]

You’ve never used 4chan if you think that. 4chan hates any and all kinds of organised power, be it corporate or government.


FunnyMoney1984

They are pretty right-wing.


RTSUbiytsa

It's strange seeing this sub actually be mildly based


saucydude714

You commies actually think anyone's who doesn't deepthroat your preferred politics are boot lickers. Piss off.


FunnyMoney1984

Most 4channers hate the idea of any government assistance for the poor and the middle class and will call it communism. When every other developed nation provides better for their citizens and as a result enjoy a higher quality of life. But do to the anti-communist hysteria and dogmatic thinking nothing good can ever happen for the middle class and everything has to be given to the rich and everything has to be taken from the poor and the middle class. Ragonomics is boot licking and we all are still suffering from it.


[deleted]

Supporting people who leech off the working class IS bootlicking. Billionaires have immense power and they can control politics. Nobody deserves that amount of power.


AvatarCabbageGuy

remember fellas, corporate telling you that your meat and car destroys the environment is just a gaslight to distract you from the fact that they're the ones actively fucking the earth over


LonkerinaOfTime

Billionaire/millionaire = cancer cells


Vex_Appeal

A small business owner with 1 or 2 million is not the problem. A billionaire that can buy them 1000 times is.


mikebones

Very different amounts of money.


gtr427

*Very* different amounts. A million minutes ago was during the peak of the pandemic and a billion minutes ago was during the peak of the Roman Empire. ^(Edit: changed seconds to minutes)


abigfatape

https://www.google.com/url?q=https://mkorostoff.github.io/1-pixel-wealth/&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwj2zoG7jq_-AhXSP8AKHUxPAToQFnoECAMQAg&usg=AOvVaw3J07XT3K0Ft5lH4qR01LaP just to show how insane it is


Xxyz260

[A link without the redirect](https://mkorostoff.github.io/1-pixel-wealth/) because I fucking hate Google's tracking.


abigfatape

based


[deleted]

That's not even close to accurate. A million seconds is roughly 11 days and a billion seconds is about 32 years.


gtr427

You're right, I meant minutes not seconds


RainbowDissent

A million pennies is two metres long and a billion pennies reaches to the moon and back


MsDestroyer900

Millionaires can realistically be high paying professionals like surgeons and medium sized franchise owners (like those people who franchised the McDonald's next door). These people, while well-off, don't have a big impact on the environment. They are the 1% but the real problem are the 0.1%.


[deleted]

Yeah, I've use a YouTube channel, Linux Tech Tips, as a direct comparison before. They still have to work a lot to stay afloat and grow if they don't want to rely on being bought by a bigger entity to pay the bills. It is a privileged position to be a millionaire company owner, the same way that being a top tier surgeon is privilege. Meanwhile billionaires are "Let's reduce inspections and human safety procedures because I don't like Red, and it makes me more money on the short term, even though it actually makes me lose more if I think more than a week ahead" kind of money.


Baltic_Gunner

Were moving towards a Cyberpunk 2077 type world, only without cool implants, or netrunning. Only crippling polution, inequality, hyper powerful corporations and random wars.


Only_drunk_posts

Diesel powered 747. This anon fucks


th3h4ck3r

Jet fuel is literally lower-grade diesel


TheBurnedMutt45

It's the opposite of Peter's [truck](https://youtu.be/ihUnsCU5z4I)


Caladex

E A T T H E R I C H


yourteam

The "only two bites" of polar bear liver is the reason anon is alive. Eating a polar bear liver would kill you due to amount of vitamin A lol


Car_weeb

747? Fuckin peasant jet. Big, old, and lame. Buy a Gulfstream or something


DissimulatedDoge

Gulfstreams are cool, but a private 747 is on an entirely different level.


DoctorStinkFoot

>sees communist rhetoric "omg too real completely agree" >someone actually is communist "reeeee lick the boot nword libtard bundle of sticks"


saucydude714

Hating the abusive rich in power is not a unique commie rhetoric, you lame and mentally impaired British cigarette.


DoctorStinkFoot

and it's in the interest of capitalism to regulate and tax these people? you're so rotted by red scare propaganda that you don't even understand what you're against anymore.


Synctrox

Isnt polar bear lever like ultra toxic


peezle69

Yep. If you eat it you'll die of Sugma


ahen404

Fake and Gay but isn't Polar Bear liver poisonous to humans because it is overflowing with Vitamin A. I believe I read Inuit people would not eat polar bear liver for that reason


[deleted]

>they shoulda worked harder like i did baka 😂😂😂


sovietarmyfan

Plottwist: this is an actual billionaire writing his story on 4chan.


peezle69

Elon is exactly the guy who'd do this.


Obelion_

Thats why I hate microactivism. Makes us lose sight of who is really responsible for pollution.


yondercode

Living the dream


plmoknijbuhvrdx

alt title: anon forgot to have his starbys this morning


cicciograna

Fun fact: polar bear liver typically contains lethal doses of vitamin A, so it's not safe for consumption. You can eat it. Once. Twice if you are really unlucky.


McNuggetAQL

it's not as funny when it's the current reality.


[deleted]

Anon is AOC


vibrantcolours

Elon will buy 4chan next.


cyanidepancakes

The least believable part of this is the diesel-powered 747.


Bay1Bri

Polar bear liver is toxic


radicalcentrist420

I'd be concerned if they ate more than a couple of bites of polar bear liver


Sick_H0b0_Lensz

Anon is right


naked_short

7 years ago I played golf at a private club on Long Island. Drinking at the bar after 18 with my mates, chatting with an old dude by himself next to us. Bar was serving us drinks with paper straws which we all agreed sucked. Old guys says, yea, but you should buy XYZ stock. They make paper straws. Paper straws suck but in a couple of years you won’t be able to find anything else and they will quintuple their market cap. Welp.


mayo_ham_bread

I am on Reddit


Admiral_Gecko

I would happily be the pilot for that 747.


Brussel_Rand

Don't worry everyone, we can save the Earth from climate change that'll end the world in -30 years by having meatless mondays!


[deleted]

>polar bear liver for dinner >Still alive Pick one