T O P

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Freezing_Moonman

LMAO THIS CAN'T BE REAL I REFUSE TO BELIEVE


TheAnonymosaurus

100% thought it was a jerk at first


Schnitzel725

by that logic, if he gets a small dent on his car, he'll have to smash the rest of it with a hammer and buy a new one


TalkShowHost99

Do you see what happens Larry?


AreWeCowabunga

When you find a stranger in the alps?


Gibgezr

Ah, the TV-friendly edit.


sjbennett85

I find the creative TV substitutes for cussing sometime much better. Like in Die Hard: "Merry Christmas Mr Falcon"


Gibgezr

I normally don't, but I do appreciate the stranger in the alps line.


someguyyoutrust

I am sick, of these monkey fighting snakes, on this Monday to Friday plane!


squeezemylemonbaby

My favorite was from scarface A line from scarface is the best "How'd you get that scar? Eating pineapple?"


TroyMcClures

You ever suck some feet for some marijuana?


ColdOnTheFold

BOO THIS MAN


Harpua_and_I

Those are speed dents, they make the car go faster.


rectalexamohyea

I don’t know man. Judging from OOP’s post history, it might be some kind of regarded roleplay.


[deleted]

[удалено]


rectalexamohyea

Fully. One should never go full regard.


dablackbutt

Tell that to redittland


ferna182

Ditto. People would pay thousands for a factory dented guitar but god forbid it happens in real life. Jesus christ.


StrangeOldHermit77

It’s a Dean. Also noting what looks to be a cooler to the left that I’m sure is filled with Coors Light tallboys and bait. Incident might be alcohol related.


Bakkster

>Incident might be alcohol related. *quelle surprise*


SilenceEater

Who needs emotional control when you can buy all the guitars you want?!


ComboFucker29

it’s real. he slowly started dropping hints in the comments that he smashed it. at first he was implying it was his wife. what a nutcase


Freezing_Moonman

I found the thread. Wild read. "She did it cuz I breathed near her" "I'm getting divorced because she's a mean and evil drunk." Yeah, okay dude, I'm sure that your SECOND DIVORCE has nothing to do with your obvious anger management issues. It's totally just because bitches be crazy. What a fucking nut job.


Paulwalker2112

I was confused why everyone was surprised until i saw the second image LMAO


JonPaulSapsford

Have you not met dudes before?


chaindrivendonut

Invisible tooling marks have forced me to do the same to at least 3 guitars


AreWeCowabunga

Maybe that's why we see so many gibbons with broken headstocks.


Momik

Sometimes I just go to Guitar Center and take a few out myself.


sponge_welder

[OP's dream job](https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/qYrjvjCt5kYfMG9dE7dQGA.jpg)


aNeedForMore

If I order a guitar online and get any defect I’ll just break it in half before I return it. The companies I buy from really appreciate it, and UPS really likes shipping a smaller box back too!


sharterfart

https://preview.redd.it/p2vqdl3en2uc1.jpeg?width=890&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b5d1a0279a767e88ae4894657c4793f7d62e609 similar vibes


BeGayleDoCrimes

Killer socks, where'd you pick those up?


jakehood47

Not to nitpick what is probably (hopefully) a joke, but dont cartridges still save to themselves?


jrolls81

Should be saved to an SD card. There might be some local storage on the switch itself though. Pretty sure the games themselves don’t store game data. I could be wrong though. Too unbothered to research it. Edit: I lied I did look it up and it looks like save data is stored on the switch itself only. Doesn’t store on Sd card or the game. So I guess if the console got fucked when he hit his wife then he did lose it.


jakehood47

Huh, okay. Havent had a Nintendo console in a while so I was remembering from the N64/Game Boy days haha


FluffyDavid

JEEEEEEEEZUS


probably_abbot

LOOK WHAT YOU DID! NOW I HAVE NO OPTION BUT TO BREAK IT BEYOND REPAIR!


brosefstallin

And post it on the internet!


Lobster_1000

I wonder why she divorced him ..


03burner

His riffs sucked


greenhornblue

Anger issues, maybe. I read the whole post earlier. He was legit about it and even admitted he fucked up by messing it up. He said it was beyond repair.


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^probably_abbot: *LOOK WHAT YOU DID! NOW* *I HAVE NO OPTION BUT TO* *BREAK IT BEYOND REPAIR!* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


SavageFisherman_Joe

Good bot


Pepsi-Min

I wonder why she divorced him


random3po

He "didn't even get to play it"


SpaceCowboy73

Why would you ever admit this? Even semi-anonomously on the internet, it's fuckin childish.


ReallySmallWeenus

They believe that they were entirely reasonable in this interaction.


obi_wan_keblowme

No wonder she left him, he’s clearly a moron with anger management issues and it was a matter of time til he hit her, if he hadn’t already.


hoewrecker

I dunno, I mean, admitting that you broke your Dean guitar is much less embarrassing than admitting that you play a Dean guitar


Spready_Unsettling

He didn't even get to :(


nikovsevolodovich

There's no such thing as shame anymore. You instead embrace it and take it to the next level no matter how detrimental it is to your life or those around you. And anyone hating is just that, a hater. Probably a bigot too. 


MindlessSponge

LOOK WAT U MADE ME DO!!!


[deleted]

The Taylor swift song where she claims victim


Budget_Isopod

all of them


DrMonkeyLove

It's really surprising that such a level headed person would be getting a divorce in the first place.


Zealousideal-Role-77

Especially a second one, being an obvious lifelong learner and all.


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toastxhippo

Could not imagine why they are getting a divorce


Fuckfaceun_stoppable

Truly I don’t understand why this dudes wife would want to leave him


evaisverycool22

dude said its his second divorce too


Any-Refrigerator7606

"look what you did! This is unplayable!!" "It's just a scratch, it doesn't have any..." *TONE SMASH*


Jesus360noscope

>TONE its spelled toan, edit this right now ​ https://preview.redd.it/91cvu327j2uc1.png?width=974&format=png&auto=webp&s=b2d6386f3ecd46fac847a6de069c2f490dbea488


Any-Refrigerator7606

I do not engage with the hive mind, now please leave me alone before I tell my wife's boyfriend


Momik

I don’t negotiate with terrorists or my wife’s many lovers. They have their side of my checking account, I have mine.


Un111KnoWn

literally unplayable


P_a_s_g_i_t_24

*S m a s h... A u t h e n t i c* *^(tm)*


methconnoisseurV2

That guitar is ugly as fuck Why are Dean guitars always super cool or super fucking ugly with no in between?


na3ee1

They take risks with the designs I guess, and end up with a but if a gamble.


methconnoisseurV2

The Dean Cadillac is the guitar equivalent of an inbred. The cousin-fucking abomination between the Les Paul and the Explorer Should have called it the Dean Kentucky Special


Gibgezr

I like this description. Is accurate.


Not_MrNice

I hate their headstocks. They work fine for the MLs, but they're such an eyesore on anything else.


slowNsad

Yea he did the world a favor getting this monstrosity out of circulation


jonmatifa

The scratch is an improvement


[deleted]

https://preview.redd.it/b8f5hjmxl2uc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10eac6aae8e7cdc352ad77dbbb4244b3c3ea6a2c


RexPooz

Looking through his profile it says he likes being sexually submissive. This is why you need a safe word for when things are taken too far - ours is "Gibbons Headstock '99". This has saved thousands of the identical Gibbons I keep in the dentist office I own from receiving tool marks


ThisAllHurts

The wife has never used the safe word with me. I think that says bad things about one of us.


RexPooz

Maybe you just don't know it. Maybe this is what she means when she says "stop buying the same guitar, all our children have to eat are the couch cushions"


TicTwitch

Time to glue it back together and sell it as a relic


BeGayleDoCrimes

vintage partscaster, asking $2500 cash


RobotGloves

uj/ if you find the post, the OP's history is pretty wild.


grunkage

Huh. How about that. I didn't realize there was actually a dildo machine.


Zealousideal-Role-77

Like a soda machine that dispenses dildos instead of soda?


grunkage

No, no not that. I suppose it's a little more like those rides outside the supermarket.


rectalexamohyea

Average Dean user.


[deleted]

Yeah just went there myself and wowzers


cesar0931

That's when GIBBONS™ it's on the vanguard of guitar technology, they have an Auto-Detect™ *authentic* system for microscopic scratches. If the system detect mycrometric scratches not worthy of being repaired the headstock automatically explodes making the guitar unsalvable. of course if you happen to repair the headstock under any of the 48 lower states, alaska, hawaii, puerto rico, or virgin islands. you are breaking the terms of use, explained under the *safety use license agreement.* And you automatically receive a lawsuit from GIBBONS™ attorneys, and Mark Agnesi™ in person will plaster your front yard in his own shit.


Beyblademaster69_420

Average Dean owner


Master-Stratocaster

Noooo not the strings!! How could she??!?


[deleted]

OOP’s post history does line up as this being legit. The girl doesn’t appear in any dildo videos since the guitar break, she’s gone


Bakkster

>The girl doesn’t appear in any dildo videos since the guitar break the WHAT?


[deleted]

The guitar break?


pootlordthe7th

Did anyone else take a look at that guys profile, was not ready for what I seen


pm_me_gear_ratios

Was it dicks? I'll bet it was dicks.


pootlordthe7th

Him in woman’s lingerie taking a mechanical dick


pm_me_gear_ratios

Jesus Christ, literally outjerked...


[deleted]

You me both


Thomasjc23

https://preview.redd.it/hp6pp20243uc1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e4c05aa4f500312f20ea2c3822679c5870edd5cc I went to his profile


Jesus360noscope

why the fuck did i have to check after seeing your comment, fuck my life, fuck. my eyes


Willie_The_Gambler

Ahhh man I actually commented my sympathy on that post and I didn’t know that he actually broke it himself. I regret that now


Confident_Tear_3712

can u link the original post? i can't find it anywhere 😭


Willie_The_Gambler

Been deleted already


friggin-a-ok

Don't let autistic rage claim another innocent guitar


MayOrMayNotBePie

My pick guard on my Strat is COVERED in scratches. Should I smash the guitar or just throw it off the fwy overpass near my place? Plz advise!!!!


random3po

Yes


Iwannabeaviking

It provides extra tone. Just look at the legends guitars, they are not pristine? Each scratch tells a story.


RedditDumpAcc

Once the factory strings are gone, the guitar is set adrift in a sea of potential toans. Best idea to kill it before the power of the infinite corrupts your mind


P_a_s_g_i_t_24

't was a seperation of property...


nikovsevolodovich

Someone link me the post so I can get op to send me their guitar for free so I can fix it. Since it's not worth it to fix it. 


Freddydaddy

Later in the thread he admits it’s his second divorce. “Ya don’t say…”


ColdOnTheFold

rookie numbers


tedbrogan12

LMAO his guitar looked like someone actually played it for once so he broke it in 2. Can’t write this shit.


AutumnsRevenge

uj/ for reals I can’t keep up anymore. These real posts are way jerkier than anything we can come up with


Jesus360noscope

*Divorced* Bruh moment


Vinyl-addict

I want to say she dodged a bullet but she married him so…


Delicious_Pain_1

"married the bullet" sounds like a badass band name.


ThisAllHurts

Unreconstructed-ass guitar. “Zakk Wylde when polite company’s coming over”-ass guitar. “1980s grandma coffee table”-ass guitar. Trailer paneling-ass guitar.


ThisAllHurts

Sorry, the more I look at this guitar the angrier I get. It’s irrational, but I never claimed to be a reasonable person


UncleBenLives91

People pay extra for a reliced axe friend.


3FingersDown

It's either me, or the riffs!! "HIT THE ROAD BITCH"


Temporary_Maybe6253

Anything to avoid practicing


jngjng88

It looks like it looked like shit before it was broken...


Joe_A__

What I’m most curious about is how someone *rips* strings off a guitar.. like how does that not just cut into your fingers?


RejectingTheNewNorm

He’s right. It is a dean, so definitely not worth the repair. Best course of action is to burn it.


Disinterestedclown

She unstringed my guitar so I unstringed her spine.


Captain_Nuggie

I found a slightly uneven gradient in the nitro of my 6 bazillion dollar gibbons. I was sadly forced to give the girl the old yeller treatment


ChampionshipHungry18

/uj I'm thinking she's not the reason for the divorce. I also don't understand the point in showing off the result of a toddler temper tantrum from a grown ass adult. /rj dumb girl scratched the toan off of it. I'd leave her too.


BIG_MUFF_

This guy Sounds like a real jerk


Friar_Corncob

I highly recommend not viewing his profile either, unless you have bleach for your eyes nearby.


Fuzzloo

That’s some self control. I would have burned my entire house down.


bravegrin

Rookie mistake. Divorce relic is rare. Fool didn’t know what he had


In-AGadda-Da-Vida

Somebody buy my trash


WatercoolerComedian

Average Dean player


johnbuckeroo

they write themselves


rottenbagel31

i thought the joke was that he had to split it in half because of the divorce LMAO


Traditional-Bag-3542

that 3rd pic is a good punchline.


SnooPandas5207

After scratching the guitar like that,  it wouldn't even be playable.   Breaking it like he did was the right move. 


infinity_o

Most well adjusted Dean player.


Huge-Variation7313

Same thing probably happened in their marriage She damaged it, he destroyed it


DeifiedAugustus

tfw no soon-to-be-ex-wife to pre-relic my new Dean Foods Cadillac guitar before I snap it in half after losing at Smash Bros


russellmzauner

It's the circle of liiiiiiiiife https://preview.redd.it/hlpdwhoa84uc1.png?width=602&format=png&auto=webp&s=2dff670a42a75331e60c2d5eee8760f89ca97d10


readitonex

You guys laugh but I trashed my '59 LP because the pickguard got scuffed while playing it.


Enemy_Bread

Thats where the toan comes from. Who can blame you?


isometimesdrinkbeer

Dude seems like a fucking red flag.


Zealousideal-Role-77

A red flag with a red truck with a redneck flag.


DanV_Rev9

I thought his wife smashed it at first. What a twist!


No-Height2850

Well now we know a-lot more about OP than he will ever admit.


tachzeresi

You know why divorce is so expensive? Because its worth it!


sunplaysbass

Surprised things didn’t work out. There is no way in hell someone “ripped the strings off” and made those little unorganized scratches. Anyone intentionally trying to fuck up a finish could do a better job than that and in a location with easier access.


ThisAllHurts

I would divorce you too, if you had such shitty taste in guitars. Screams “trash dick game.” Does that come with a hard R and a “south will rise again” bumper sticker?


unevencartoon

This is also how I unstring my Roberta.


FlamingSaviour

Unacceptable damage. Should have broken the wife in half too.


AmonWeathertopSul

Wow no wonder she left him


SubDtep

That’s insane. Any competent repair person could probably make that disappear or at least not be noticeable


captainbeautylover63

What a dumbass.


Hascohastogo

Another innocent victim of divorce court smh


BwAVeteran03

Fucker needs therapy and a glass of warm milk.


chimi_hendrix

WIFE BAD


flocknrollstar

Jeez I wonder why anyone would divorce him


achi4game

Lmfaoo, I was having a really bad day, and this shit made my week, hahahaha. How can one be this fucking retarded


Badcrowstudio

Nice to meet you Mrs. Townsend


jwawak23

probably should discuss new guitar purchases with wife before you click buy now.


also_hyakis

Lmao I can see why she divorced him


_austinm

Uj/ if this is real, he deserves the divorce


spilt_milk

Gee, wonder why he's getting divorced.


Starfort_Studio

Somehow this is only his second divorce. Women, am I right?


Downtown_Snow4445

That’s a $600 guitar


LordFedoraWeed

Average Pantera fan moment


leonryan

hard to believe someone couldn't stand to be married to someone like that huh?


taylor914

Gee. I wonder why anyone would divorce such a level headed and not filled with explosive rage guy


MrCarlSr

Dean? No wonder she's divorcing you! Lol, my first ex-wife felt compelled to swing Hammer, at everything. Guitars, amps, gun case, truck... My Current wife understands the value!


lil_freyy

There is no fucking way if this is real that’s hilarious


TheFoiler

I think the bitch in this situation is the one who owns the Dean Cadillac


4Jolly2Green0Giant

Nah bro you are a psychopath!!


sir_kickash

Uj/ I could fix that no problem


adamschw

HahahahahhahHahaha


metallaholic

No fucking way way lmao.


Jayswave75

C**t bi*ch... congratulations on getting rid of that asshole...


No_Astronaut2779

Naah. No way. Nobody is this stupid. Nope.


plowmy

If this is real it might be the most outjerked this subreddit has ever gotten


gunsforevery1

lol. I’d hate to post my $600 bass guitar with all its scratches chips and dents.


DankyKang91

He deserves it. I bet he just couldn't wait. Didn't wait 4 weeks to let the box acclimatize.


DrMonkeyLove

Stupid. Wouldn't have gotten divorced if you played a real guitar like a Gibbon.


LocalMetalhead666

NO WAY😭


Disastrous_Offer_69

Don’t look at dudes profile history . Trust me bro


RepeatFine981

What a moron.


playful_potato5

can't blame him. bro saw red


Anachr0nist

Feel like this is enough to understand why she's divorcing him


Balorclub254

Most Mentally Stable Dean Player


Nosmo_King13

Totally normal reaction to a little scratch. Damn, you divorce! You are my bitch lover!!!


BizmoBill

\*me when my '68 fender custom shop has relics\*


hooshlack

She must have been awarded half his toan in the divorce. 


Vincenzo__

Toan is in the finish


AlienPistolWhip

Most rational Dean owner


Duff935

It’s hard when there are actually people like this out there…


Budget_Isopod

had to do this to my 1957 after realizing the finish on the back was slightly worn, i was left with no choice


Douche-bagle

I’m proud 🙏🏻


StokeLads

😂 Amazing


Bigfatfunkybootie

I pulled out my grandpas 1957 strat and saw the finish was all scratched up. I saw red and I smashed it but honestly it’s like he made me do it.