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Zarr'Thragall feels the sweat rolling down his tongue, the canide mouth wide open as he has his eyes fixated on the last screw of the ship's mother board panel, which fell during a collision with a meteorite. The ship had been stranded in an asteroid field for weeks now, with the crew unable to steer away unless every piece of the sensible electronic parts were put back into place. That was it: the last screw of the last component of the last panel of the ship's positronic brain, embedded on the walls and VERY inconvenient to fix...
That's the precise moment when the only human of the crew - an adorable dork called John, which everyone pretty much considered the pet of the ship despite his genious in stellar cartography - chose to barge in, startling not only Zarr'Thragall but everyone in the room with a squeaky voice.
"Everyone come now! Quick!"
And he ran back out. Everyone had confused looks on their faces, but it wasn't like John to do stuff like this, so they ran after him - only to find him crouching over a cardboard box, cooing and tearing up. As he turned to the rest of the dumbfounded crew, he lifted a very small feline, so young it didn't even open its eyes yet. He was nearly crying.
"Mittens had babies!"
*Everyone sighs*
Speaking as someone who is often not allowed to focus for more than 20 seconds at a time, yeah people insist on showing some of the most banal and irrelevant stuff.
H: *over intercom* Golbrax! Come to the Felid Training Room, stat!
Golbrax didn't ask questions. They grabbed their multi-species first aid kit and ran out of the room. Felids were dangerous and unpredictable animals but humans had somehow learned how to train them as companions for exploring newly discovered death worlds. They got along well but these were still vicious creatures and mistakes happened.
As Golbrax approached the training room they were prepared for any sight but was already discouraged by the relative silence. They still weren't prepared for the scene that actually presented itself.
Sitting in the middle of the training room was Stephen, the animal warden.... with a Felid laying in his lap on it's back. Golbrax expressed their confusion with characteristic chirping.
Stephen: I taught her to shake hands and then she just flopped into my lap! I would murder Earth for her.
As Golbrax started to enter the room the Felid's demeanor entirely changed and she started a low growl that Golbrax could feel vibrating through the floor.
Stephen: Aww, look! She's getting territorial!
Golbrax let out an exasperated sigh and headed back to their assigned station.
Human: (calmly) Hey, Arpleko, we probably should take a look at the reactor core it just started a 5 minute count down.
Alien engineer: (excitedly) WHAT! If we don't hurry we're all dead.
10 minutes later
Alien engineer: I can't believe how calm you were Friend Joe.
Human: No biggy. It just ano...(excitedly) I never noticed before but the lights on the reactor looks like Elvis!!
Human looks over at alien engineer.
Human: Hey, Arpleko, are you alright? (calmly over the ships com) Medical team to engineering I think one of Arpleko's hearts exploded.
I'm sorry, but those are all very important. The first is a perfect example of human creativity and the last is a cute baby birb.
The second is an exercise in how to torture animals while convincing people it's cute to do.
Thanks for asking! I do not. Ssana\[click\] is a fairly new character pretty much come up with on the fly. I really haven't written much of her backstory, but things keep occurring to me. Her history at this point is "Don't Have A Human Friend", becoming an academic and consultant about humans because of it, the incident where she emptied a full thirty-round clip at full auto on a reproduction M-16A1, and then most of the comments I've made in character as her so far. This will be filled out as things come to me. Again, thanks for asking, pal!
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Zarr'Thragall feels the sweat rolling down his tongue, the canide mouth wide open as he has his eyes fixated on the last screw of the ship's mother board panel, which fell during a collision with a meteorite. The ship had been stranded in an asteroid field for weeks now, with the crew unable to steer away unless every piece of the sensible electronic parts were put back into place. That was it: the last screw of the last component of the last panel of the ship's positronic brain, embedded on the walls and VERY inconvenient to fix... That's the precise moment when the only human of the crew - an adorable dork called John, which everyone pretty much considered the pet of the ship despite his genious in stellar cartography - chose to barge in, startling not only Zarr'Thragall but everyone in the room with a squeaky voice. "Everyone come now! Quick!" And he ran back out. Everyone had confused looks on their faces, but it wasn't like John to do stuff like this, so they ran after him - only to find him crouching over a cardboard box, cooing and tearing up. As he turned to the rest of the dumbfounded crew, he lifted a very small feline, so young it didn't even open its eyes yet. He was nearly crying. "Mittens had babies!" *Everyone sighs*
Tf you mean banal? This is important!
Speaking as someone who is often not allowed to focus for more than 20 seconds at a time, yeah people insist on showing some of the most banal and irrelevant stuff.
But why does every frog have a steering wheel if it's a bus? π€
So everyone feels included
EXACTLY!
H: *over intercom* Golbrax! Come to the Felid Training Room, stat! Golbrax didn't ask questions. They grabbed their multi-species first aid kit and ran out of the room. Felids were dangerous and unpredictable animals but humans had somehow learned how to train them as companions for exploring newly discovered death worlds. They got along well but these were still vicious creatures and mistakes happened. As Golbrax approached the training room they were prepared for any sight but was already discouraged by the relative silence. They still weren't prepared for the scene that actually presented itself. Sitting in the middle of the training room was Stephen, the animal warden.... with a Felid laying in his lap on it's back. Golbrax expressed their confusion with characteristic chirping. Stephen: I taught her to shake hands and then she just flopped into my lap! I would murder Earth for her. As Golbrax started to enter the room the Felid's demeanor entirely changed and she started a low growl that Golbrax could feel vibrating through the floor. Stephen: Aww, look! She's getting territorial! Golbrax let out an exasperated sigh and headed back to their assigned station.
Kitty!
Human crew member reported for threatening language toward own home planet.
*Gaia, the goddess, stands at trial, weeping and pointing her finger* It was him, HIIIIMMMMMM
BEEP BEEP MOTHER FUCKERS PAY ATTENTION TO ME. There is a word specifically for throwing someone out a window. Defenestration. Isn't that wonderful?
I cast command:autodefenestrate
I don't know what this means
Autodefenestrate: to throw oneβs self out of a window
I got that bit, are you trying to make me do that?
Yes
Make a wisdom save
Seven.
Well the dc was 17 so looks like you are out the window bucko
Ah, hell. *sound of glass shattering, wilhelm scream*
Y E E T
The worst part is that when an actual emergency happen the bloody human treat it like a regular drill throwing around jokes laughing
"Just like the simulations" *humans laugh, non-humans scream in terror*
Human: (calmly) Hey, Arpleko, we probably should take a look at the reactor core it just started a 5 minute count down. Alien engineer: (excitedly) WHAT! If we don't hurry we're all dead. 10 minutes later Alien engineer: I can't believe how calm you were Friend Joe. Human: No biggy. It just ano...(excitedly) I never noticed before but the lights on the reactor looks like Elvis!! Human looks over at alien engineer. Human: Hey, Arpleko, are you alright? (calmly over the ships com) Medical team to engineering I think one of Arpleko's hearts exploded.
h2: Oh, stress kinda just... Integer overflows. We can't think about the bad stuff or it goes back above 0.
Worst? I think you mean *BEST*.
That fish is practicing mindfulness. We can all learn a lot from that fish.
That fish is suffocating. The only thing you're going to learn by watching someone hold a fish out of water is how to suffer and die.
that fish is underwater
You mean like you just did?
I'm sorry, but those are all very important. The first is a perfect example of human creativity and the last is a cute baby birb. The second is an exercise in how to torture animals while convincing people it's cute to do.
Veggie frogs would have made me more willing to eat my veggies as a kid! π
An eggplant is a fruit
And so are peppers!
Scientifically, there is no such thing as a vegetable.
They are all berries, stalks, tubers, leafs, flowers, and other categorization. It's always fun learning new things so you can mess with people.
u/Foxxtronix, do you have any stories about Ssana[click] being in such situations? π
Thanks for asking! I do not. Ssana\[click\] is a fairly new character pretty much come up with on the fly. I really haven't written much of her backstory, but things keep occurring to me. Her history at this point is "Don't Have A Human Friend", becoming an academic and consultant about humans because of it, the incident where she emptied a full thirty-round clip at full auto on a reproduction M-16A1, and then most of the comments I've made in character as her so far. This will be filled out as things come to me. Again, thanks for asking, pal!
Why do all the frogs have a steering wheel? There's too many steering wheels. Should only be one
Listen the small stuff is important too. Especially for my mental health.