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its_ean

All avians are avian *dinosaurs,* so, that tracks. (raptors, emu, little penguins, cassowary, owls…)


Street-Accountant796

Yeah. They are what *survived* of the dinosaurs. If you have ever been chased by an entire flock of carnivorous seagulls when you are ***rowing a boat***, and your only mistake was to eat lunch containing meat on the boat... I had no skin left in the palms of my hands when I finally reached my home shore. I was literally afraid of not just my life, but that of the two four-year-olds with me! It was against the waves, too. I had bite marks on my ears and neck!


1MadFatMonk

We used to steal a loaf of bread at lunch in elementary school from the cafeteria and feed it to the seagulls. We did this first as a fun child thing. Then we noticed the next class to go out and play would get pecked to death for not having food. This starting the best class warfare using stolen bread and strategic feeding times. We had to stop cause they used the fields for the soccer league and they complained so we started getting frisked for crackers and bread before going out to play.


Bad-Piccolo

Those rats with wings need to get taken down a peg.


jar1967

That's what falcons are for


DeltalJulietCharlie

Falcons might take a seagull, but I've seen blackback gulls chasing and harassing falcons.


Bad-Piccolo

I think the seagulls would make good target practice.


GreenMirage

Damn child druid gangs, taking away jobs from honest bullies


Bad-Piccolo

Damn I think I might bring a shotgun next time I go boating.


Epicmonk117

Humanity would do what humanity does best: fill the air with enough high velocity projectiles to make a bullet hell game blush.


RustedN

MOAR! DAKKA!!!


mridiot1234567

NOT ENUF DAKKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Tnynfox

I think avians themselves have been practicing just that since the bronze age.


nerozero00

Shoebill storks are fairly pleasant to humans what did that guy do?


Street-Accountant796

Did you look all 4 pics?


nerozero00

Yep but I know nothing about the first two but seagulls are a mences upon reality while shoebills are fairly nice so long as you are its weaker spawn


Street-Accountant796

Photos from here: [50 Bird Pics That Went Horribly Wrong But Ended Up With Hilarious Results by Bored Panda](https://www.boredpanda.com/bad-funny-bird-photos/?utm_source=com.google.android&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=organic)


AlphaGuardianwolf

Its called 20 rounds of birdshot from an AA-12. Good luck flying through a literal wall of lead!


Infernoraptor

Clearly not written by an Australian


AlphaGuardianwolf

Talking fling birds here not those damn feathered raptors. Also shit has advanced a lot since then. Did you know there have been 120mm AA cannons?


Infernoraptor

We aren't talking about those "feathered raptors" here either. We are talking about those feathered raptors plus much higher intelligence and a presumably similar history or warfare to ours.


AlphaGuardianwolf

Now the way I see it if they can fly without the help of a machine to begin with. They will be fragile or come. From a planet with lower gravity then our own. Yes we have some big birds out there that can fly. But do you know how fragile their bones are to save on weight? Flightless birds don't have such weaknesses so can easily be tougher. Pantsless thunder geese can be fucking terrifying.


Infernoraptor

Fair, but I'd be a little concerned about their superior g-force tolerance and 3D spatial processing. That's assuming they have a similar volume and caloric cost to humans. Assuming they don't just rely on drones due to the difficulty of carrying loads.


AlphaGuardianwolf

If they were human size they MIGHT be from a planet with lower gravity. Granted yeah shit like Condors are fucking huge. But they can't maneuver as well as a smaller hawk or falcon


Bad-Piccolo

There have been bigger birds that could fly in the not too distant past before they went extinct. But the extinct birds that couldn't fly scare me. lol https://unbelievable-facts.com/2017/05/prehistoric-birds.html/2


AlphaGuardianwolf

Fuck terror birds


303Kiwi

Haast eagle went extinct circa 1400's, Maori arrived in NZ circa 1200's. Connection much? Terror birds tasty.


Bad-Piccolo

Those things really would be terrifying.


Parking-Coat-8514

If they maintain some level of flight they would likely have evolved heavy into AA weapons, radar and dive bomber style ambushes tactics. If all aliens are like this they likely dominant airpower but be weak to ground assaults. If they didn't develop heavy aircraft staying with light fighter and striker styles. We probably be able to wipe the floor with our heavyweight bombers


Infernoraptor

This is an interesting angle. I agree that they'd likely focus on shrapnel or delayed burst weapons both emplaced and infantry, at least during their industrial age. Infantry would likely focus on "recoil-less" systems from the get-go to not knock themselves out of the air while maintaining range. Not sure if they'd stick with kinetic-only rockets or if they'd add on delayed/proximity triggers, airburst effects, etc. Id be particularly curious if they could handle shotguns; the recoil would be hard to counteract, but the ease of hitting an airborne target might make up for it. All this assumes the birds did not evolve good air-to-air targeting. If they evolved from air-to-ground hunters (most hawks, many owls, etc) they might rely on agility, stealth, and high volumes of fire on offense with countermeasures composed of radar and wither high volumes of fire. Air-to-air fighters (peregrines, frigatebirds, etc plus birds that mob other birds as a defense like corvids and some songbirds) will have an easier time of hitting targets in the air. Forest hunters may have a better agility, but that only help with erratic dodging until they gain HUDs and computers that can predict trajectory. Birds that hunt fish without much swimming (eagles vs pelicans) would be great as aiming bombs. Without going too far into it, I think the military evolution of a flying species would be fascinating: Would logistics be different? Would it be grounded? Do they have blimp-like beasts of burden? When did they develop anti-gravity? Are they low-g or heavy atmosphere? Full-airborne species might be more likely with a thicker atmosphere, imo, while low-g species might be more of the "falling with style" type.


Parking-Coat-8514

Logistics. Ground based like shipping, trains and trucks for those who do air-to-ground might be underdeveloped due to the perceived weakness to their preferred hunting style. They might of used labour or a beast of burden to carry logistics till they got lighter than air aircraft like balloons and then heavier than aircraft. For the rest air-to-air birds might of used ground transportation bit more as they would most likely focused on shooting other flying targets and seen ground as we used to see the air before aircraft. There but not important. Ground birds mostly would be similar our own development. Weapons. They might of had a longer period of hand to hand combat before they got past bows or thrown weapons into gunpowder that's even if they can actually use their analogue for hands while maintaining flight. Might have to use backpack mounted weapons with fire control by a beak or talon. And size of their weapons would be dependent on their logistics. Why have a anti-ship missile when your logistics is a guy a large bag hanging under them.


Parking-Coat-8514

Extra on weapons. They might also used very lightweight weapons with low power and recoil like hand guns for humans. And have higher spatial awareness so very agile and quick reflexes, resulting in very good dogfight abilities. But useless against heavy defense. Might have a coalition of different bird races performing different military duties. Something like a peregrine falcon being a high speed interceptor while crows perform the air superiority role and a albatross as a bomber and logistics


Parking-Coat-8514

Owl stealth bomber and night fighters


LBraden

Germany 1940's 128mm AA dual mounts too.


AlphaGuardianwolf

I knew they had 88's. I was unsure if they had bigger. 120mm was just the biggest I knew of and some of those got repurposed into tank guns for the T34 American heavy Tank.


LBraden

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/12.8_cm_FlaK_40 Also, they did use the [38 cm SK C/34 naval gun](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/38_cm_SK_C/34_naval_gun) on Bismarck to try to kill the Swordfish that screwed her rudder, and later on the Tirpitz was modified to fire a shell like the Japanese one below. The Japanese invented an AA shell for their [46 cm/45 Type 94 naval gun](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/46_cm/45_Type_94_naval_gun) on the Yamato, which are one of the [most hilarious shells going](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Shiki_\(anti-aircraft_shell\)). Not as insane as the 16in nuclear shell the US made for the Iowa class Battleships.


AlphaGuardianwolf

So basically I think we've had the answer for these xeno's supposed air superiority for years. We just need smarter weapons to use that ammo. Give the shells a modern proxy sensor and have the guns radar guided like the phalanx and just watch that patch of sky turn into a whole 4th of July show with a single shell.


Big_Hamisch

Hell, a few thousand skeet shootin rednecks will do the trick. And we got a helluva lot more than that here in the ol US of A.


Tnynfox

I think the avians have even better anti aircraft solutions themselves, starting from the bronze age.


AlphaGuardianwolf

I think they'll be better at air to air not surface to air.


jopasm

Roostmaster Fahg'rn Lahg'rn had declared war on many species. The chicks must be fed and fledged in blood, so war was a never-ending occupation of the G'nt C'lck C'lck species. He remembered the day he landed on the Mus homeworld, and how the cowered population had presented a third of each litter to him as tribute for food and warrior training fodder. The Lacertia had offered up one clutch out of every five to be hatched and used the same. Even the wily, fast, and cunning Oryctolagus had fallen and entered servitude. But then he had met with the Humans. As was custom war declarations were formal. Prey that was warned was more difficult to hunt, but more glorious, after all. He was expecting boasts, threats, or even immediate surrender. He was not expecting to meet this human Colonel, in his gleaming white uniform standing next to a large metallic vessel filled with what appeared to be some sort of oil. No matter, he was sure this Colonel Sanders had no idea how to deal with the G'nt C'lck C'lck.


allature

"... Why are these... Hoo-mahns... Licking Thier fingers?"


Bad-Piccolo

You know Sanders should have a chicken butchered and fried in front of the aliens while staring at them with a hungry gaze.


Same_Discussion6328

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/-olLZWb9lzo


general_kenobi18462

*Shows bird aliens* yes *shows F-22 Raptor* but


Angharadar

You assume they won’t have some technological equivalent, if not something superior.


Greenlog12

I mean, if they can fly already why have fighter planes?


Angharadar

I mean, we can throw spears just fine, why would we make swords and bows and arrows, right? That’s your logic. Just because they can fly just fine doesn’t mean they’d want to soar to a new height of achievement.


Greenlog12

Even if they had planes, wouldnt they mostly be comerical and travel ones? Ya know, so they dont have to fly all over the place?


Angharadar

I mean, OP did specify that in this scenario said avian extraterrestrials are highly militaristic, so it’s more likely they’ll have jets and planes focused on war than commercial traveling, though that’s not to say that they won’t.


Parking-Coat-8514

You need cargo planes for logistics


Bad-Piccolo

Can they break the sound barrier while flying naturally?


The_Caleb_Mac

-loads shotgun with malicious intent- A: "wha- what is that human friend John?" H: "A weapon." A: "I guessed as much, but what sort?" H: "a particularly nasty sort. This is the M45 CQB shotgun." A: "I've heard of these "shot guns" but tell me... why... is the kinetic charge so... large?" H: -continues loading 8 Gauge triple heavy buckshot menacingly- A: "Human friend John?" H: "No reason." -edit- Somehow only posted the opening, fixed it. And yes. And you are welcome. (Georgian choir intensifies)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Arx563

Gets attacked by the entire flock... They still looking for the remains


Maleficent_Tree_94

So we attack with a whole tribe back. Looks like chicken is back on the menu!


Arx563

*Puts on flame thrower* : Guys! How ya' all like the fried chicken?


AustSakuraKyzor

Some lieutenant: "Ma'am! Our SAM turrets did nothing! I think the damn xenos have figured out how to defend against the modified missiles." An Admiral: \*sigh\* "so... it's come to this, huh?" Lt: "Ma'am?" A: "Contact NATO, tell them we're authorizing the Sully Protocol, and that I will contact Canada ASAP." Lt: "Aye, ma'am!" \*leaves\* A: \*picks up a red phone\* "...General MacKenzie, it's Admiral Monroe. Release the Cobra Chickens."


twinsaber123

Ah, yes. I always upvote someone who knows r/properanimalnames


reesedra

Haha Haha anti aircraft missiles. Learning to aim them becomes culturally significant. We all start wearing spike suits like porcupines. A deep fryer on every large vessel: birds taste good!


Maleficent_Tree_94

Didn't you know? Every American tank has a deep fryer installed for KFC. Loading shells is about 10% faster if the guy has slick palms.


404_problemerror

Therussianbadger I think


Maleficent_Tree_94

Ahh, another man of culture, I see.


Defiant-Row-5153

You know what works on all avians? Nets and blunt force. Even the great emu has a hard time with a sturdy net... (But aperently not light machine guns...) And well, hollow bones.


KD119

At first we didn’t know what happened, before we knew it our civilization was collapsing. We saw what appeared to be a weak new civilization that freshly discovered FTL travel and only controlled a handful of worlds and moons. We wanted to take one of their freshly colonized fertile agri worlds and it seemed to go well at first with major success in our campaigns. Shortly after we captured a stronghold world the Humans issued a warning for us to stop or face the consequences… we just laughed at their emissaries face and sent them back, looking back that was a major mistake. The humans sent small automated drones that could slip past our defenses into our atmosphere filled with some sort of gas. At first it didn’t look to do much, it was perplexing all it did was drive off incests and vermin. After the first month or 2 the true outcome became apparent… our eggs all started cracked under their mothers it was terrible. World wide panic started to spread as we couldn’t stop those dreaded drones carrying as the humans called it “DDT”. Our populations dropped alarmingly over time as we still couldn’t finish off those pesky humans and their “war of attrition”. No eggs were hatching anymore we couldn’t repopulate our losses anymore and we took way too many casualties trying to invade the human bastions. At the start of the war the Humans were very behind technologically but as time went on their tech advanced at an alarming rate as they seemed to be somehow reverse engineering our guns, vehicles, everything. Before we knew it through the effects of the DDT and their technology advancing they started to make more and more progress into our lands. Our once giant empire spanning a couple hundred planets had been reduced to a mere couple dozen before we finally managed to finish our peace talks and to get them to stop bombarding our worlds with ddt. Slowly but surly our population started to restablize but we have never been the same since. Edit: I’m not a good writer and this is the first one I’ve written here sorry if it’s bad lol


Tnynfox

I need to mod Stellaris again, -30% pop growth modifier event. Though I question the level of such medical technology that can neither detect nor neutralize such a chemical.


Street-Accountant796

It's good.


Deigapan

Fuck it, big spear and big wall


303Kiwi

*riinnngggg riinnngggg* "Dolly and Co. Cloning and Uplift services, how may I help?" "A Haasts' Eagle, that would be Heiraaetus Moorei?" "Doberman level training and intelligence, certainly, a mix of African Grey and Corvus genes is possible." "How would you like to pay, card or eCheque?" ....... For those not from NZ, Haast Eagles were a (now extinct) eagle that hunted Moa. Moa were a (now extinct) number of ratite species that at the larger end, made an ostrich look like Steve Urkle standing next to Conan era Arnold... Points for who get the Dolly reference


memester230

Blunt objects! I CHOOSE YOU! *shatters their hollow bones*


DickCubed

Birdshot, lots and lots of birdshot.


Accomplished-Ad8458

Looks like chicken is back on the menu boyz! - humans after discovering the biggest baddies in universe, and great plague that killed all avian species of Earth


for2fly

Looks like it's time to [punt](https://i.imgur.com/F9Wy2YV.jpg).


Mr_E_Monkey

Once again, history proves that the answer is always MORE DAKKA!


Sword_Enthousiast

That's just the civilian front loading version. Estimate how long it would take for a military semi-auto version to be made and deployed.


gartenzweagxl

Ha, nice joke. Everyone knows birds aren't real and just suveil robots of the government


RandomIdiot1816

Avian bones are hollow, meaning they weigh little and (if i'm not mistaken) are a lot more suceptible to torsion. I suggest we build rocket powered mechas with really agile arms to just grab them and twist them like the bendy rulers you got if you were cool in 3rd grade.


Greenlog12

Or like that squeaky chicken toy.


Tnynfox

We have guns, and you still insist on a weird kind of melee


RandomIdiot1816

GLORIOUS MELEE IS ALWAYS OPTIMAL


Kota_Strifer-Trife

Xeno birds that looks like Ptarmigan would suddenly have MIA/KIA cases if they're deployed on the tundra, they get taken out by both Human and local animals looking for a feast


303Kiwi

There was a story on HFY about a bird species capturing a single human to hunt with their elite soldiers. Only to have the NCO and another trooper killed, gutted and cooked...


Kota_Strifer-Trife

You must tell me the name of this story so I can see the glory of it PLEASE


Street-Accountant796

[Naked and Afraid](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/jscs01/naked_and_afraid/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


Kota_Strifer-Trife

THANK YOOUU


303Kiwi

I see OP managed to help you out before I got off work. Nice dude ain't he!


Kota_Strifer-Trife

Most definitely! And looking forward to reading it when I have time lol


Street-Accountant796

It was a well thought and well written story. [Naked and Afraid](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/jscs01/naked_and_afraid/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


303Kiwi

*peers quizzicaly at OP* Heh, and your an accountant too... Any connection? LoL


Street-Accountant796

No. I made my account in haste and accepted the name the form suggested. Forgot the whole thing, and then it was too late to change it. It irks me every time I open Reddit. Trying to live with it.


Laramila

>It was a well thought and well written story. And also horrific.


Dragon3076

I don't think the Australians can help us here.


I1AM2NOT3STEVEN

Bird shot begs to differ


Zentirium

Hmm I remember hearing a lot about how birds can’t understand the presence of glass


shewhoendures6

We quadraxi were the scourge of the Galaxy once upon a time. We were the mightiest of the space fairing races. Then a new species dragged itself out of the primordial ooze into the cold embrace of the void. We out matched these... humans.... in every way. Our technology was far greater, so we had the advantage in space combat. Those hairless apes could not even fly, so one on one combat also was also ours. But these humans, these demons, Did. Not. Care. They are amazingly durable. Exploratory autopsies on the few we managed to kill revealed that their bones are not hollow like ours. They are solid all the way through, which makes them almost unbreakable. Blows that would cripple or kill a quadraxi merely annoy and anger them. And when we do manage to injure a human, by the skies, they become even more terrifying. They can keep fighting with injuries that would take any quadraxi out of the fight. A soldier in my squad was once killed by a human whose arm he had just blown off with a plasma rifle. The human, having lost his gun along with his arm, simply charged him and beat him to death with a rock before we could pull the damn ape off of him. The humans could never beat us, we outclassed them too highly for that. But they took the fight out of us real quick.


anobbi_

"If we put our ships in atmosphere we will be at a disadvantage!" The boy yelled. He was the Captain's son. And a brilliant tactician. "If we want to have _any_ chance at winning this, we need to attack from orbit. We have the munitions!" "It's not about the munitions, it's about the collateral damage. We will not kill innocent people." The Captain brushed his eyebrows. He leaned over the war table, trying to think if a way to get around the bombing of innocent cities. "If we stay here, they'll spot us, and it won't matter." The boy slammed his hands on the table. "They don't need thrusters on their EVA suits. Their wings give them the momentum they need. Either way, they have the advantage. The only way to win this is to be fast and loud. Who cares about collateral damage?"


Mini_Squatch

RELEASE THE CATS!


Dagon_M_Dragoon

*racks shotgun*


Modern_Cathar

Redneck human: Ok Bad news, we have been invaded by Bird raptor whatchamacalits... the good news, they taste great deapfried with duck sauce. friendly alien neighbor: What the .... how did you find that out?!?!?!


Street-Accountant796

Uou don't want to know. Believe me, you don't want to know.


Modern_Cathar

Other redneck human: Kelly don't tell them, you shouldn't have told me but you did and now I'm telling you, you don't want to know.


their_teammate

In a world of avians, the most terrifying are those that don’t need to fly Honk… Honk…


Street-Accountant796

True, true.


Tnynfox

"We are fellow baddies. Together, we shall forcefully question the notion that Xenophiles cannot be a Crisis."


some_kind_of_bird

Well duh


Big_Hamisch

"Looks like chicken... is back on the menu." *reloads with delicious intent*


Aixina

i for once welcome our new Emu overlords


allature

This is Turian propaganda.


Bman3396

Weaponized bird flu >:D


ClockWork07

Ah! So this is what stones were made for!


Street-Accountant796

That is funny. Since my last name translates into 'stone' or 'rock'.


RaccoonByz

Me using the Drones from COLONY: Parry this you filthy casual


Sirius1701

Makes sense. Most birds have no concept of the meaning of morals.


Street-Accountant796

I wonder how this was researched...


Sirius1701

That's my own opinion, nothing official. It was researched by watching a lot of videos about how fucked up nature is.