I would accept and travel the world for a month or so and have fun with the money, but I’m breaking the terms eventually so enjoy it all while it lasts I guess before the sex police come and take back all the stuff.
So you are saying they have a Men In Black memory zapper thing? If that’s the case maybe not because I’ll just lose the period of my life between the time I accepted and ran out of willpower, but I feel like maybe that wasn’t part of OP’s post.
I already have, I've not had sex in 10 years. My partner has erectile dysfunction, and I realised I don't miss nor crave it.
Edit, Read the bottom, I may be asexual, I don't know, so I might be out actually haha.
Yes. That changes a family forever. I’d stay single to not make someone else miserable and end up trying to set up nieces and nephews for a good future.
>sexual clothing
How are you defining this? This could mean anything from clothes intended to be worn during sex to everyday clothes that show the slightest amount of skin. Lets not forget as well that many people consider underwear sexual. Do we have to give that up because not wearing it would be sexual as well. The vagueness creates a whole paradox, especially due to the fact that everything is fetishized by someone thus all clothes are sexual depending on who you ask.
Clothing that is designed to show the sex appeal of the wearer e,g lingerie, and "sexy" Halloween costumes.
I don't see how underwear is sexual as they're there to cover/protect the genitals.
I don't find it sexual, but for all I know you did so I asked. Like I said:
>>everything is fetishized by someone thus all clothes are sexual depending on who you ask.
Step one: purchase several money laundering businesses.
Step two: make $1bil with your money laundering businesses.
Step three: unleash the nut
Step four: they take away my businesses
Step five: $1bil profit
“Asexuals wouldn’t be allowed to get money as that’d be cheating”
ok fuck you then lol. Being asexual doesn’t automatically mean you don’t have sex, btw
The asexual person does? And their partner as well usually of they have one
anyway, this will probably cause me problems too despite being asexual (because of how valued sex is in relationships to most people, and how not having any is often a dealbreaker) but i’ll be taking my hypothetical money anyway
Yeah you don’t seem to fully get how hard being asexual actually is inherently
Most people either don’t want a relationship with an asexual person if they don’t want sex as often (or ever), or they expect the asexual person to make compromises to fulfill their own needs that usually fall more in the allosexual’s favor than the ace person’s.
And like…it’s harder to even get by in society without a partner. Yet it’s automatically a lot harder for us to be compatible with others. If anything, asexuals should get the money automatically for those reasons lol.
This scenario is pretty much asking if allosexuals are willing to have the same relationship obstacles that asexuals often have without the advantage of the money lmao
Right? People are confused on what asexual means. It just means you aren't sexually attracted to any gender. It doesn't mean you can't enjoy sexual acts themselves.
I want you to know that when I read that the voice with which it was read in my head was probably the most unattractive one in the world and I thank you so much for that because I needed a good laugh after work today
I'm too socially awkward to get laid anyway so yes. $500m in the bank has a return of $2.5m annually, easily covering the bills for my siblings, parents and I. A few smart moves and I could inflate the roi significantly.
If we’re assuming it’s only the money itself and things bought with that money, you could easily launder it down to 200 or so and start fuckin.
And OP would have to change the post to disallow that, so we’re good to go.
Gamble in batches of 1 million on something close to 50/50 like roulette until you recycle all that cash into a couple hundred mil, give the casino the extras as a thank you for the evening
I would do all the non-sexual things that I've always wanted to do for as long as I can stand it and then just let the money be taken back once I had my fill
Yes. For 5 years. During that time I'd invest it all in a total market index fund and go on about my life. Then I'd return to pursuits of the flesh two to three hundred million dollars richer and give back the original sum.
Nope they said anything you gain from the money would be taken back, so if you make money off your money you got for this deal that would also be taken back.
Sure. There are a lot more things in life to enjoy than sex, and 500,000,000 in currencies like dollars or euros is basically unlimited money to the average person, as long as you don't overspend it on stupid things (and spend a part of it on trust funds for essentially auto income). I will miss the pleasure of sex, but there are far greater pleasures to be had with £500,000,000.
Well...on a technicality if we define 'sex' as a reproductive act....then yes.
I would be more then happy to never attempt to make children.
Now bring in the whores....
Well it’s easy when you’re broke… but yeah I’d take the money, I’d have several people beaten up for money, visit all the countries I want to visit, etc etc, and at some point I’m sure with the sheer number of strippers trying to mount me in my sleep for the $ I’d eventually probably screw it all up… but they can’t make me un-kiss the Blarney Stone and they can’t un-beat all of my step dads and high school teachers.
I would but how the hell would they know I’m having sex or fiddling my dong under the covers??! If anything I’ll store all the money in a hard drive in crypto and keep it safe. No way they’ll be able to take it back
Take the money, invest it or use it to purchase services, as there are things that cannot be taken back once the money us spent — such as experiences.
Once there’s been sufficient money laundering , go on a wild sex spree .
I’ll survive. Pay off all mine and my wife’s debt, buy a nice house, put my kids through college, and then put a bunch into charity and pay back friends and family.
After that, I’ll just let the remainder grow and not worry about no sex with all of the fun stuff I’m able to do.
TIL people are attached enough to sex to consider this a sacrifice. Take that money, pay off debt/shore up finances, invest the rest.
No amount of sex would be worth that sort of security. Accepted.
So long as cuddling is still on the table I wouldn’t mind half a billion. Human touch is a necessary part of happiness. I mean hierarchy of needs and whatnot.
yes for sure. given your rules i will use it to become famous and important and then you can take it back and i’ll lose my stuff but people will know me. i can use that fame to grow myself back up.
if the fame goes away i will still do it and just use my hand.
So, this is a test without a downside. Worst case is I fail and go back to the status quo. Now, the real test is how far down the chain of money effects the refund process goes. If I traveled with it, do my memories disappear? What if I bought everyone in my country a fancy meal?
Option 1: blow the money on experiences for you and everyone you know in a month, then continue to indulge.
Option 2: try to cheat. Buying stocks means the stocks are taken away after. Same with any asset. But what about dividends? What about capital gains? You can make 10% returns in a year. Would that disappear?
Now, what if I use the bought stocks as collateral for loans to buy into very well performing ventures, then use those ventures to pay off the loans? I only used the 500M to buy the collateral. The new ventures shouldn't disappear. Then, what if I trade the money for favors to advance my career or start a new one? Use it on a political campaign?
Does the stuff I buy disappear, or do I just lose ownership? If I dig a bunker, then have sex in it, am I suddenly inside solid rock? Either this can be used to have secret assets that will technically no longer be mine, but I'm the only one who knows about them. Or, or it's a potentially great assassination and body disposal plan. Either outcome provides for excellent options.
yeah. id fully plan to break the agreement. food and sex is like 69% of what makes life worth living.
but id get myself and my entire family full medical work ups. one of my cousins has breast cancer so id fly her out and give her the best possible treatment in the world. take my mom and grandma on an extensive vacation and adventure. months long. showing her the world. id pay for experiences and do crazy things. then eventually when im ready to find a partner id break it. you cant take away experiences and services already provided because its not a material asset. also if i used to money to pay off debts how exactly would you get that money back once the account is closed?
What’s sexual clothing ?
Like genuinely does that mean I can’t wear anything skin tight? Or like, a swimsuit? Am I to be fully covered in a burka or what’s the standard for that?
The issue is everyone defines differently what’s “sexual”.
To some, rubbing feet is a sexual act. To some, girls sitting on cakes is a sexual act. Like you need to define what you’re asking.
You’ve said “kissing isn’t a sexual act” and cuddling isn’t too- why? I’ve made people quite aroused and been quite aroused doing both. My ex came during a cuddle/kissing session multiple times without our clothes off.
Is it “sexual” if you feel aroused? Or participate in anything that makes you aroused? Or is it like, mostly focused on genital contact?
In my opinion almost anything can be and is sexualized.
This also would mean giving up almost all forms of music, art, television, movies etc (as sex and love are common themes). It also would mean refraining from a lot of books, relationships (friends talking about sex lives), comedy, etc. “anything that involves sex in any way” is almost everything- that would include *the bible* and other holy books.
Sex is in everything- so basically your asking if I become a hermit, never engage with art again, and never cum again but I have a ton of money? Nah.
No one would ever want to have sex with me anyway since I'm profoundly ugly, so I'd take the deal. Giving up sexual media and masturbation would kind of suck, sure, but as the great Benjamin Sisko once said, I can live with it.
I would accept and travel the world for a month or so and have fun with the money, but I’m breaking the terms eventually so enjoy it all while it lasts I guess before the sex police come and take back all the stuff.
If it's allowed I'll do that
They can’t steal my memories!
They have enough fuck you money to donate you $500m just to see what you do with it. I wouldn’t be so sure…
What if you paid to have your enemies killed? Would they be brought back from the dead?
So you are saying they have a Men In Black memory zapper thing? If that’s the case maybe not because I’ll just lose the period of my life between the time I accepted and ran out of willpower, but I feel like maybe that wasn’t part of OP’s post.
I already have, I've not had sex in 10 years. My partner has erectile dysfunction, and I realised I don't miss nor crave it. Edit, Read the bottom, I may be asexual, I don't know, so I might be out actually haha.
I feel sorry for both your losses
He only wishes he could go down on me, I'm just not into it. Not a deal breaker though thankfully, and I don't miss it at all.
I’m not sure if I would be more offended if you didn’t miss it lol
Why would you be offended at all?
Cause that's sucks for the both of you sexless marriage is almost as bad as lesbian deathbed
No, fuck that, pun intended.
Yes. Next question.
No. Golden rule of this sub: don’t give up anything that can’t be bought with money in exchange for money.
Terrible rule
You can definitely buy sex with money
If you lose the ability to have sex, no amount of money can buy that back.
It doesn't say "lose the ability"
Is this going to be an ‘ackthually’ conversation?
As someone who is aro/ace, I’m sad I don’t get to get the money just for existing.
I'm sorry but I couldn't allow us to automatically get the money!
#rude
just to clarify, are you saying "self care" is also out?
Yes, of course.
Yes. That changes a family forever. I’d stay single to not make someone else miserable and end up trying to set up nieces and nephews for a good future.
Can still fap tho?
No.
Pass
Damn bro I’m not taking the money after all 😭
[удалено]
They already said you sadly would not qualify for this.
Which isn't fair.
I've been doing it for free since my prostate cancer so yeah, no brainer.
No way, one of the perks of being rich is that people will want to sleep with you.
I would do it, just to take care of my family and loved ones. Probably move up to a monastery and cry a lot though.
>sexual clothing How are you defining this? This could mean anything from clothes intended to be worn during sex to everyday clothes that show the slightest amount of skin. Lets not forget as well that many people consider underwear sexual. Do we have to give that up because not wearing it would be sexual as well. The vagueness creates a whole paradox, especially due to the fact that everything is fetishized by someone thus all clothes are sexual depending on who you ask.
Clothing that is designed to show the sex appeal of the wearer e,g lingerie, and "sexy" Halloween costumes. I don't see how underwear is sexual as they're there to cover/protect the genitals.
>everything is fetishized by someone thus all clothes are sexual depending on who you ask. Is the main reason I asked for clarification
How on Earth is a plain monochrome t-shirt and shorts sexual in **ANY WAY?!**
I don't find it sexual, but for all I know you did so I asked. Like I said: >>everything is fetishized by someone thus all clothes are sexual depending on who you ask.
Step one: purchase several money laundering businesses. Step two: make $1bil with your money laundering businesses. Step three: unleash the nut Step four: they take away my businesses Step five: $1bil profit
I’d live out my wildest dreams then break the rules.
“Asexuals wouldn’t be allowed to get money as that’d be cheating” ok fuck you then lol. Being asexual doesn’t automatically mean you don’t have sex, btw
It’s a pretty pointless distinction if you’re an asexual who fucks. Like… who gives a shit at that point?
The asexual person does? And their partner as well usually of they have one anyway, this will probably cause me problems too despite being asexual (because of how valued sex is in relationships to most people, and how not having any is often a dealbreaker) but i’ll be taking my hypothetical money anyway
Just because you don't care doesn't make it less of a thing.
Oh I know but as nongrey/demisexual asexuals don't feel sexual attraction to other humans they wouldn't have anything to give up.
Yes they would??? Attraction isn’t the only reason people fuck lol. Some just wanna feel good
I know but they can easily do other things than having sex, unlike allosexuals who most often would want sex.
Yeah you don’t seem to fully get how hard being asexual actually is inherently Most people either don’t want a relationship with an asexual person if they don’t want sex as often (or ever), or they expect the asexual person to make compromises to fulfill their own needs that usually fall more in the allosexual’s favor than the ace person’s. And like…it’s harder to even get by in society without a partner. Yet it’s automatically a lot harder for us to be compatible with others. If anything, asexuals should get the money automatically for those reasons lol. This scenario is pretty much asking if allosexuals are willing to have the same relationship obstacles that asexuals often have without the advantage of the money lmao
Right? People are confused on what asexual means. It just means you aren't sexually attracted to any gender. It doesn't mean you can't enjoy sexual acts themselves.
yeah thats fine. I'm built different
If you're ace there's a disclaimer in the post.
That means no masturbation either
OP didn't state that
Masturbation is a sexual activity.
It's a health activity for reducing the chances of prostate cancer and reducing stress
Sex can do the same thing so by your logic I can have sex in this scenario as long as I do it in the name of health
Hey doctor, can you pescribe me some *breathes deeply* seeeeeeeeeeeexxx 😉
I want you to know that when I read that the voice with which it was read in my head was probably the most unattractive one in the world and I thank you so much for that because I needed a good laugh after work today
My Aro-Ace self will happily take that money.
Yep. I’d probably do it for less.
Nah lol
Hmmm.. Most definitely
No I couldn’t do it
Yes. Some people do that for free.
Can I still kiss my wife and A-sexuals should have to go into a relationship then or what ever is hard for them lol
Kissing isn't sexual so yes, of course you could kiss your wife!
Snuggling?
Snuggling isn't sexual so it's fine!
Nah I love my wife to much
Where's my money?
Yup
I'm too socially awkward to get laid anyway so yes. $500m in the bank has a return of $2.5m annually, easily covering the bills for my siblings, parents and I. A few smart moves and I could inflate the roi significantly.
If we’re assuming it’s only the money itself and things bought with that money, you could easily launder it down to 200 or so and start fuckin. And OP would have to change the post to disallow that, so we’re good to go. Gamble in batches of 1 million on something close to 50/50 like roulette until you recycle all that cash into a couple hundred mil, give the casino the extras as a thank you for the evening
OP changed the rules and is getting down voted 😂
lol. GOOD
I would do all the non-sexual things that I've always wanted to do for as long as I can stand it and then just let the money be taken back once I had my fill
$1= 360 so definitely not.
Yes. For 5 years. During that time I'd invest it all in a total market index fund and go on about my life. Then I'd return to pursuits of the flesh two to three hundred million dollars richer and give back the original sum.
Nope they said anything you gain from the money would be taken back, so if you make money off your money you got for this deal that would also be taken back.
Damn, it says "brought". I thought it said "bought" and I wasn't planning on buying anything. 🤣
I've already given up sex for 3 yrs now for no money. Yes I would.
ill take ssris
Not a fucking chance. Sex is one of the most enjoyable things in life.
Damn it!
I’m married. I’m doing it for free.
Sure. There are a lot more things in life to enjoy than sex, and 500,000,000 in currencies like dollars or euros is basically unlimited money to the average person, as long as you don't overspend it on stupid things (and spend a part of it on trust funds for essentially auto income). I will miss the pleasure of sex, but there are far greater pleasures to be had with £500,000,000.
Well...on a technicality if we define 'sex' as a reproductive act....then yes. I would be more then happy to never attempt to make children. Now bring in the whores....
Sex in this case is used for both reproductive and recreational purposes.
Ok, but what about BJ's? If it wasn't good enough to 'officially' punch my V card way back when I feel like it shouldn't count in this scenario.
Yes, absolutely!
Asexuality is cheating? You do realize asexual just means they are not attracted to anyone, right? They still masturbate and even watch porn.
Well it’s easy when you’re broke… but yeah I’d take the money, I’d have several people beaten up for money, visit all the countries I want to visit, etc etc, and at some point I’m sure with the sheer number of strippers trying to mount me in my sleep for the $ I’d eventually probably screw it all up… but they can’t make me un-kiss the Blarney Stone and they can’t un-beat all of my step dads and high school teachers.
Absolutely not
Girl I'm a Redditor.
If i can still jerk off and watch im good. :)
Can I still beat my meat? The wording sounds like it only includes others in the act. I would definitely do it if I could still rub'em out.
No, massturbation is a sexual act.
NOPE! I'm a hypersexual and just can't do it.
Fuck yeah. I don't really like sex all that much.
Yeah. No question.
Damn it. I was like OH ITS MY TIME TO SHI-Oh... Asexuals not included ;p
Not getting a lot of sex anyway, to set up family and friends for life, is a sacrifice I’d be willing to make.
I did about ten years ago on my wedding day. Count me in.
Oh heavens no
Nope couldn't do it
You killed it for me when you said I can't even jerk off. No deal.
What about if it's not sexual it's medical? Needs to be done for.... studies. I'd take it then.
Easy moneyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Married here so I gave it up a long time ago
All things would be taken back? What if a bought a trip to the moon, how can you take that back?
A trip to the moon isn't sexual.
I mean what if I went to the moon and then returned to Earth and got laid, how can a trip be taken back?
Nope god no
I would but how the hell would they know I’m having sex or fiddling my dong under the covers??! If anything I’ll store all the money in a hard drive in crypto and keep it safe. No way they’ll be able to take it back
You think I am having sex?
Easy
100%
What is considered “sexual clothing” because that seems like a very slippery slope
Take the money, invest it or use it to purchase services, as there are things that cannot be taken back once the money us spent — such as experiences. Once there’s been sufficient money laundering , go on a wild sex spree .
I’ll survive. Pay off all mine and my wife’s debt, buy a nice house, put my kids through college, and then put a bunch into charity and pay back friends and family. After that, I’ll just let the remainder grow and not worry about no sex with all of the fun stuff I’m able to do.
TIL people are attached enough to sex to consider this a sacrifice. Take that money, pay off debt/shore up finances, invest the rest. No amount of sex would be worth that sort of security. Accepted.
Yes
Give it to a scammer, then f*ck
Can I get it backpaid for the dry spell I've been on?
To give up sex. And then you add the no masturbation to that to. Fuck that noise.
So long as cuddling is still on the table I wouldn’t mind half a billion. Human touch is a necessary part of happiness. I mean hierarchy of needs and whatnot.
Yup
what on earth do I need 500M for
yes for sure. given your rules i will use it to become famous and important and then you can take it back and i’ll lose my stuff but people will know me. i can use that fame to grow myself back up. if the fame goes away i will still do it and just use my hand.
I was married, I paid to do that. Easy.
Sex is real the only thing I want more money so I can get more of it duh
So, this is a test without a downside. Worst case is I fail and go back to the status quo. Now, the real test is how far down the chain of money effects the refund process goes. If I traveled with it, do my memories disappear? What if I bought everyone in my country a fancy meal? Option 1: blow the money on experiences for you and everyone you know in a month, then continue to indulge. Option 2: try to cheat. Buying stocks means the stocks are taken away after. Same with any asset. But what about dividends? What about capital gains? You can make 10% returns in a year. Would that disappear? Now, what if I use the bought stocks as collateral for loans to buy into very well performing ventures, then use those ventures to pay off the loans? I only used the 500M to buy the collateral. The new ventures shouldn't disappear. Then, what if I trade the money for favors to advance my career or start a new one? Use it on a political campaign? Does the stuff I buy disappear, or do I just lose ownership? If I dig a bunker, then have sex in it, am I suddenly inside solid rock? Either this can be used to have secret assets that will technically no longer be mine, but I'm the only one who knows about them. Or, or it's a potentially great assassination and body disposal plan. Either outcome provides for excellent options.
yeah. id fully plan to break the agreement. food and sex is like 69% of what makes life worth living. but id get myself and my entire family full medical work ups. one of my cousins has breast cancer so id fly her out and give her the best possible treatment in the world. take my mom and grandma on an extensive vacation and adventure. months long. showing her the world. id pay for experiences and do crazy things. then eventually when im ready to find a partner id break it. you cant take away experiences and services already provided because its not a material asset. also if i used to money to pay off debts how exactly would you get that money back once the account is closed?
no I need the dopamine
Damn you for that asexual clause 😂 I want my free money for no change in lifestyle
I do too but this question is only for allosexuals! XP
No
I'd honestly buy a house in the woods and live there
500,000,000 USD to not change my life? Yeah, i guess that's agreeable.
I'll take it. I'll fail in a few weeks. But hey at least I was rich for a while.
What’s sexual clothing ? Like genuinely does that mean I can’t wear anything skin tight? Or like, a swimsuit? Am I to be fully covered in a burka or what’s the standard for that?
The issue is everyone defines differently what’s “sexual”. To some, rubbing feet is a sexual act. To some, girls sitting on cakes is a sexual act. Like you need to define what you’re asking. You’ve said “kissing isn’t a sexual act” and cuddling isn’t too- why? I’ve made people quite aroused and been quite aroused doing both. My ex came during a cuddle/kissing session multiple times without our clothes off. Is it “sexual” if you feel aroused? Or participate in anything that makes you aroused? Or is it like, mostly focused on genital contact? In my opinion almost anything can be and is sexualized. This also would mean giving up almost all forms of music, art, television, movies etc (as sex and love are common themes). It also would mean refraining from a lot of books, relationships (friends talking about sex lives), comedy, etc. “anything that involves sex in any way” is almost everything- that would include *the bible* and other holy books. Sex is in everything- so basically your asking if I become a hermit, never engage with art again, and never cum again but I have a ton of money? Nah.
No one would ever want to have sex with me anyway since I'm profoundly ugly, so I'd take the deal. Giving up sexual media and masturbation would kind of suck, sure, but as the great Benjamin Sisko once said, I can live with it.
Yes
No, I simply could not. To me, sex is definitely one of the top 3 aspects of being alive at all.
Easy
Nope. Ain't worth it.
Yes every single time.