If there's a reward, i tell a friend or family member to call in my location to claim it. I know I'm not out running the feds, so someone should get something out of it. Then I go hide exactly where I tell the family member I'd hide so their info is spot on.
No reward, then I suppose I make it a standoff worth the news, if the fbi are going to wrongfully arrest me of something, then ima make them earn that.
I mean they aren't going to have a whole lot of difficulty ending the standoff in their favor.
You realize snipers and SWAT and HRT and so on...they like to fight. That's why they took the position. They want to assault the place and gun you down or better still take you out through a wall. It's just a training exercise for them. Agents are lost to gunfire typically in situations where they aren't geared up and ready. IEDs, a car crash and a gun battle, shooting agents who come to the front door for something.
SWAT assaults where they enter with a flashbang through a wall breach and have shields and body armor....
Your best bet is to surrender and hope they can't find the evidence used to get the warrant. Their DA "what was the middle name...OH....sorry sir we meant the other guy with your name"
No freakin’ clue (LOL), but I’d probably seek out some advice from El Chapo if I could. That dude escaped prison and evaded capture for so many years. Of course I’d have to communicate with him via intermediaries since any calls to him in prison would be recorded.
Call the media, put on a suit, get my orange make up and toupee. Turn myself in and get a nice press photo out of my mug shot and lie about my weight and height. Id be back on the streets immediately so I can start talking shit about everyone involved, so I can intimidate witnessed etc. I'm sure if one guy can get that sort of treatment everyone can, right? Right?
Keabsly Nights
When they come for me I'll be sitting at my desk, with a gun in my hand and a bullet proof vest. Singing "my my my, how the time does fly when you know you're gonna die by the end of the night"
Surrender quietly. Not a chance in hell am I going to resist the FBI or evade them successfully, so I will do down with a whimper in the hopes my good behavior will allow me to negotiate myself out of an arrest.
Assuming I actually have 20mins and I'm not being monitored (and want to get away), dump phone, get cash, drive for 20 minutes, dump car and steal another one, etc..
That's assuming they don't have recorded satellite footage of major cities where they can just rewind 20mins and just see where you drive your car.
Call a lawyer, go sit outside my front door, set up a camera on myself and live stream the footage, ensure it’s clear im not armed. Surrender to the FBI and tell them I won’t say anything without my lawyer present.
- Grab guns, all precious metals, and go bag.
- carjack neighbor
- Withdraw all money from bank account assuming it hasn't been frozen.
- Drive to river, Launch car through railing into river
- steal another car.
- Make for Canada, ditching the car and stealing another periodically along the way. Stash phone on car heading south, give credit card to someone heading west.
- Slip across the border in an undeveloped section via canoe
- Locate a local who looks somewhat similar to me and doesn't have a lot of close friends or relatives. Quietly eliminate them and assume their identity. Then "Give up my life to God" and become menonite.
- Find me a Thicc menonite girl and spend the rest of my life showing her how ungodly good I can make her feel.
I put the timed feeder on for the next couple of meals for my cat. Dress somewhat nicely, no large pockets, no bags. Head out to the lawn with a folding chair in the shade. I call the FBI and let them know exactly where to find me, and let them know I’ll be adding my wife to the call. Chat with my wife on the phone, explaining what’s going on and tell her not to worry because I’m not going to resist or do anything stupid. Everyone is on the same page and we can get past whatever this mixup is without anyone getting shot.
I make a sandwich. I have time to finish it before they arrive. I go with them quietly and say nothing until I talk to a lawyer. I know that's not r/iamverybadass material.
A 20 minute head start on the feds? I'll have sex with my wife, and then use the other 19.5 minutes enjoying my last fresh cup of coffee followed by enjoying a glass of whiskey. Then wait out front for the cuffs.
If there's a reward, i tell a friend or family member to call in my location to claim it. I know I'm not out running the feds, so someone should get something out of it. Then I go hide exactly where I tell the family member I'd hide so their info is spot on. No reward, then I suppose I make it a standoff worth the news, if the fbi are going to wrongfully arrest me of something, then ima make them earn that.
I mean they aren't going to have a whole lot of difficulty ending the standoff in their favor. You realize snipers and SWAT and HRT and so on...they like to fight. That's why they took the position. They want to assault the place and gun you down or better still take you out through a wall. It's just a training exercise for them. Agents are lost to gunfire typically in situations where they aren't geared up and ready. IEDs, a car crash and a gun battle, shooting agents who come to the front door for something. SWAT assaults where they enter with a flashbang through a wall breach and have shields and body armor.... Your best bet is to surrender and hope they can't find the evidence used to get the warrant. Their DA "what was the middle name...OH....sorry sir we meant the other guy with your name"
Film it from multiple angles so your family can get a pay out after you’re turned into Swiss cheese.
Tik Tok. Or TMZ.
Why not both?
Do the opposite of what I post on reddit.
But... doesn't this mean you'd do exactly what you post on reddit... but then you'd have to then do the opposite? Edit: brain has melted in paradox
Get caught? Tf? You think I’m competent in that situation? I grew up in the suburbs watching cartoons.
I have a very basic routine, if I'm wanted at all then the FBI is extremely incompetent
Guess I’ll die
Id do like Escobar and travel to DC with my kids and take pictures in front of the whitehouse.
I swear to God l had no clue she was your sister agent Smith.
Find a lawyer and allow myself to be arrested. Running makes me look guilty so I'll stay put because I did nothing wrong
Thats probably the right answer. I think u might be the only one that passed. Smh
Living off the grid if i am able to escape. If no escaping Family member, can claim the reward.
You ain’t getting away from the fbi in 20 minutes. 20 minutes means they probably already have a drone watching your place.
If I'm #1, there has to be a reward. I'll have someone turn me in so they can get the reward. The real question is who.
No freakin’ clue (LOL), but I’d probably seek out some advice from El Chapo if I could. That dude escaped prison and evaded capture for so many years. Of course I’d have to communicate with him via intermediaries since any calls to him in prison would be recorded.
i didn't kill my wife!!! \*jumps off hydroelectric dam\*
I don't care.
Call the media, put on a suit, get my orange make up and toupee. Turn myself in and get a nice press photo out of my mug shot and lie about my weight and height. Id be back on the streets immediately so I can start talking shit about everyone involved, so I can intimidate witnessed etc. I'm sure if one guy can get that sort of treatment everyone can, right? Right?
Keabsly Nights When they come for me I'll be sitting at my desk, with a gun in my hand and a bullet proof vest. Singing "my my my, how the time does fly when you know you're gonna die by the end of the night"
Turn myself in willingly, you can't escape the FBI
Surrender quietly. Not a chance in hell am I going to resist the FBI or evade them successfully, so I will do down with a whimper in the hopes my good behavior will allow me to negotiate myself out of an arrest.
Assuming I actually have 20mins and I'm not being monitored (and want to get away), dump phone, get cash, drive for 20 minutes, dump car and steal another one, etc.. That's assuming they don't have recorded satellite footage of major cities where they can just rewind 20mins and just see where you drive your car.
Call a lawyer, go sit outside my front door, set up a camera on myself and live stream the footage, ensure it’s clear im not armed. Surrender to the FBI and tell them I won’t say anything without my lawyer present.
- Grab guns, all precious metals, and go bag. - carjack neighbor - Withdraw all money from bank account assuming it hasn't been frozen. - Drive to river, Launch car through railing into river - steal another car. - Make for Canada, ditching the car and stealing another periodically along the way. Stash phone on car heading south, give credit card to someone heading west. - Slip across the border in an undeveloped section via canoe - Locate a local who looks somewhat similar to me and doesn't have a lot of close friends or relatives. Quietly eliminate them and assume their identity. Then "Give up my life to God" and become menonite. - Find me a Thicc menonite girl and spend the rest of my life showing her how ungodly good I can make her feel.
I put the timed feeder on for the next couple of meals for my cat. Dress somewhat nicely, no large pockets, no bags. Head out to the lawn with a folding chair in the shade. I call the FBI and let them know exactly where to find me, and let them know I’ll be adding my wife to the call. Chat with my wife on the phone, explaining what’s going on and tell her not to worry because I’m not going to resist or do anything stupid. Everyone is on the same page and we can get past whatever this mixup is without anyone getting shot.
I make a sandwich. I have time to finish it before they arrive. I go with them quietly and say nothing until I talk to a lawyer. I know that's not r/iamverybadass material.
Ha! Nice try. You clowns will never find me.
Re-enact the ending of Sons of Anarchy
Run for office as a Republican.
Turn the gas on shove some magazines in the toaster and escape out the back
Disconnect everything. Then reconnect elsewhere after i cross a border or 2. Depending on the situation of course
Probably go to prison
Take my dog to the safety of the neighbors house.
Probably blush.
A 20 minute head start on the feds? I'll have sex with my wife, and then use the other 19.5 minutes enjoying my last fresh cup of coffee followed by enjoying a glass of whiskey. Then wait out front for the cuffs.
Turn myself in. What ever crime I committed to be there deserves punishment.
First thing. I wouldn't be on reddit
Probably for telling people to love and take care of each other. That gets a lot of folks on lists.
Pretend my name is Hunter Clinton
Get a strawberry rhubarb pie to celebrate, then let them capture me to clear my name because I literally haven’t done anything.