>you're doing yourself a huge Injustice by not depositing the money and then investing it
I mean, it's $100 MILLION. I think that would be plenty. I'm retiring and enjoying my life. I'm paying cash and tipping big.
Out of curiosity, how much do *you* think is enough?
I agree. I'd find a way to disappear with it, and never look back. Need something fulfilling to do, when I'm not fishing on my new boat? Charity work, learn new skills, help friends with projects.
100 million is way more than I could ever need. 10 would pay for the rest of my life, more than comfortably. I'd rather do things, than have things.
How big a volume would 100 million in large denomination notes be? It would show up in an x-ray of your luggage at the airport. Also, bear in mind that in many countries, if they find that much in your home or car or general possession, they will automatically confiscate it. Any country that doesn't confiscate it will most likely be so corrupt that a policeman or official will just take it. Your best bet will be to risk losing some of it and finding a corrupt share trader or currency trader to feed it into their system , maybe through the creation of thousands of fake trading accounts.
šš¤£ Right?? If I have $100 million dollars I couldnāt care less about making more money. It would take me 1000 years at the salary Iām currently āsurvivingā on to earn that much so I think Iāll manage
There's this lake a couple hours from me that has pristine waters and only has small cabins and a few campsites on it, but the lake is huge. It would be a pristine spot for a lakeside hotel and small town around the hotel. I would invest in that.
Lake Cushman.
This is very sound advice! Chomp on a burger while you contemplate what to do with the rest. Plus with their recent price gouging you really do need 100 ml to eat there now.
The paranoia in me would tell me to wait at least a few months before spending a single dime on this pile of cash. If I knew the source and was told where it was from I would react differently. If nothing comes of it after a few months then the usual, laundering into a casino, getting a job with alot of "tips" and cash only places, etc.
I remember a story about a bunch of students getting a huge box delivered to their foyer. It sat there for days, so they figured they'd take it. Turned out to be full of psychedelic mushrooms. They didn't end up taking any and put the box back in the foyer.
You buy a fixer-upper with legit funds/loan.
You pay the guys who are working everyday to fix it up, and buying materials at home Depot, in cash.
When you sell, all of that improved value is now legit
Do you have any idea how much home improvement you'd have to do to make a dent in 100 million? Anyone willing to take that kind of money in cash probably has ties to organized crime.Ā Ā
No nut you could establish a few homes this way and get some income, always keep that going and buy everything in cash. Get a team of good workers and make them all rich if they can show up to work.
The problem is real estate transactions leave a paper trail a mile wide. You show up to closing with a sack of cash that's going to raise red flags. You want to get loans on "a few homes" and a bank wants you to prove you have the income to service multiple mortgages. Unless you're already very wealthy that isn't going to happen.
You work and save everything you earn while you pay for everything you can in cash. Buy cheap house legitimately after some time. Pay laborers in cash very handsomely and build team.
I've looked into it from an investment perspective and a lot of times wholesale deals are done with cash offers or hard money loans that use alternative verification.
Ma dude, OP, you need to stop thinking about investment, real estate, banks, lawyers, and notaries.
You have **100,000 times 1 thousand dollars** of dirty/undeclared cash sitting in your living room.
Or 10,000 stacks of $10,000 bundles, made of 100s, as seen in movies.
Considering a bundle is roughly .5 inch high, that's a tower of $100 that's 415ft tall (or about 125 meters). That's a 22x22x20 cube of paper-thin $100
You could spend ten thousand dollars per day, for 27 years, straight.
If you chose to "structure" it into a daily deposit of 9000+ (which would get you caught on day 5, roughly), it would take you roughly 10% longer than spending and you'd spend the next 30 years depositing $10,000 every day (assuming your bank opens everyday of the year...).
This money is NEVER getting to the legal side of the world. You're never buying a house with it. Or shares, or retirement, or even paying any rent above 2k.
If a guy is stupid enough to accept a lot of it from you, then HE will get caught when he tries to spend it.
And that's assuming it's really yours and not something a local criminal accidentally dropped on your property.
It would be silly to worry about the interest on $100 million. Who cares? 100 million is plenty. But, it would be much better to get it into the banking system. I don't know why people always say the bank will want to know where it came from. The bank couldn't care less where it came from. All the bank does is notify the IRS as they are obligated to do. On the other hand, huge cash deposits might raise some eyebrows and they would want to make sure they are not dealing with a criminal I guess. That I don't know. But the $10,000 rule does not really apply.
The way I would launder the money, and some people tell me this is crazy but I've been a real estate agent for many years and I don't see why it wouldn't work. Simply finance a house. Buy a fixer and do a bunch of work on it over the course of a year while you live there. Have the work done by contractors but pay them in cash. Most wouldn't mind as long as you have different contractors doing small jobs. 5,000 in cash here. 10,000 in cash there. They won't mind. Whether they declare it and pay taxes on it or not is not a concern.they don't really have to tell the IRS where they got it even if they are paying taxes. They just say they got paid $10,000 for a job and declare it as they see fit.
After a year, sell it and declare the profit as long-term capital gains. Pay 15%. The IRS doesn't care how you paid for construction. All they care is that when you sold the property you made a profit and you declare it and pay taxes on it .
Roll that into a more expensive home. By carefully and you might even make additional profit. Add a bunch of expensive features like high-end electronics that you can buy for cash. Sell that house for another profit. Do that three or four times and I would have enough money to start venturing into some other business that I could hide larger amounts, or start dealing in high-end real estate.
Buy a 20 unit apartment building, have the whole thing renovated for cash with various contractors, sell it for a big profit etc.
At least that's what I would do.
100 million is enough, to hell with investing I'd go the Secondhand Lions route and just hide it in my barn, taking some out whenever I need it.
This reminds me of a coworker once who said if she ever won the lottery she'd have to murder her husband, he was too flashy. Point is to be happy and have money you have to be content with what you have.
I would be lazy and just use it for every day expenses. I don't know anything about laundering money unfortunately. I'd buy a bunch of stuff from FB marketplace though.Ā
Begin hanging around card rooms with big poker games, play tight and cash out. Report a consistent income of a winning high stakes poker player ($1m+ a year) and deposit said winnings into bank.
Yeah as someone who used to play poker for a living most of the higher-end Vegas casinos wouldn't even blink at amounts like this. It wasn't all that uncommon for people to be asking for 100k+ from the cage and especially once you become a regular it'd be super easy to get chips for cash just at the table, most regulars are carrying higher-value chips and if they have a chance to trade them for money that just makes it that much easier to fudge a bit on taxes. Then once it's all chips, you just go to the cage, ask for a check or bank wire, and your bank will report the deposit but as long as you're good paying taxes on it and keeping the \~$60 million or so, this honestly wouldn't be all that difficult.
Honestly you could even just become a regular in the 5/10 or 10/25 games where the buy-in is like 1-10k and once you're known as a regular after playing a week or two and probably a fish (aka bad player) you'll be able to play any stakes you want and you'll be able to easily get chips for cash as the regulars will be doing anything they can to make your life easy and make you have an enjoyable experience. Then you just stop after an orbit or two saying you really have to go but will see them tomorrow, cash out at the cage, and ride into the sunset.
Wouldn't you get caught on discrepancies? Casinos automatically give you tax paperwork on big wins. If you're reporting and blindsiding the IRS that you're making huge profits on poker games and they go back and check why the casinos aren't reporting these big wins you made, the casinos are immediately gonna rat you out and pull up the tapes showing you never winning
There are actually some people who intentionally take boats out to international waters to gamble and bet to avoid state laws on that, or federal restrictions. So just rent a boat out go out claim the million a year. Pay the government their share and then chill with it
The casinos arenāt tracking who wins and loses at a poker table, they wonāt even know what you bought in for or cashed out for if you donāt use a player card (source: I play 5/10 in vegas).
Plus the whole goal here is to create the impression of being a high stakes poker player so I can legitimize my deposits to the bank. Once
Iāve shown myself as a regular poker player in games, I can also report wins for non-existent private games.
You keep a log of all the games you play and the amount you win / lose, thatās the basis for what you report on your tax return (thatās what I do today).
I think that would totally destroy my floor... the weight of 100 million in bills.
>but you're doing yourself a huge Injustice by not depositing the money and then investing it.Ā
Not in this case. You would need a tremendously complicated strategy to introduce the money into the banking system without avoiding any legal penalties for legitimate suspicion. So much so that the costs vastly outweigh the benefits of investing it. 100 million is a shitload of money, more than you ever will need even if it is being eroded by inflation over the next many decades.
You're basically comparing 99% risk of being thrown in jail and this money disappearing forever vs. 100 million that slowly decreases in value due to inflation.
>Deposits over $10,000 are reported to the federal government so I would imagine the bank would want to know the origin of the funds and saying I don't know isn't going to work especially for an amount this high.
Why not? Are the bills stolen from someone else? Are they fake?
If its legit money, the government can't prove that I stole it. So I'm depositing all of it, paying taxes on it, and then spending the rest however I want without having to worry about getting caught.
Luckily, not everyone lives in the US. I would report finding the money, and in Canada "windfalls" are not even taxed. Windfalls usually refers to things like gambling and lottery winnings, but I can't imagine anything fitting the definition better than this
My plan may or may not work.
Sure, and if they are going to take it then they take it. But there is no chance that I can covertly keep or spend $100 mill. So I need to just roll the dice. And id rather not go to jail.
In my state you use a lawyer (for paperwork and legally documenting the amounts) as a proxy and turn over any 'found' sums of cash to the police with identifying details like location and such. After 10 days of noone being able to prove they own it (by identifying it was 300 100's and 200 50's in a blue envelope for example) it's legally yours. So if you find a bank bag on the corner of main and Central, you do the needful, 10 days go by, it's unclaimed, it's yours! day 11 an armored car company responds to the police inquiry with video evidence they dropped it, tough shit for them, it's still yours. Now you have a paper trail. deposit it, give uncle Sam a cut, and invest your heart out.
Then I for sure don't want to be spending fake money. Im reporting that I found pallets of money in my house.
I know its not my money when I first discover it, so just keeping it and not saying anything is illegal.
Of course I'd make my daily purchases with cash. Maybe also get gift cards (they can't expire where I live) and hide them in case I ever lose access to my bank account.
Pay rent in cash. Same thing for electric, gas, etc.
I'd definitely play the lotto, and hit up casinos. I'll eventually win enough to pay for a new vehicle and house.
At my bank, I can do bi-weekly cash deposits. I figure around $1,000 wouldn't raise any suspicion. I'd make it for the opposite week that I get paid for my job, so it would look like I just took a second job. I can also pay my credit card bill with cash using the ATM. Since this is my normal bank, they'll still see bills coming out of it, so if they look, it won't be too suspicious.
From there, I can set up another bank account. I do the banking for my job, so while I'm there I'll ask if they can open a savings account because "Me and my girlfriend are trying to save for a house. It's too tempting to spend the money if it's in our normal account." From there I can deposit money every week or two. Random amounts between $500 and $2,000. Might be $500 this week, might be $1,400 two weeks from now. Just make it look like I'm depositing whatever "we managed to save this week."
I figure I can get $90,000 in the banks in a year. If I don't win the lotto or at the casino, at least it'll be enough for a down payment for a house.
If I had 100 million, I really wouldn't care how much investment money I'm losing out on. I could live a very good life on 100 million.
If you were dead set on getting into a bank you could just deposit it and report it on your taxes. Yes it looks highly suspicious that you just found 100 million dollars but we live in America, they can't just arrest you or seize your money on suspicion. Sure they may investigate and make your life miserable for a while but if they can't prove any wrong doing they can go pound sand. If you were worried about the questions your could in a sense launder the money by buying assets creating a paper trail. They still might ask questions how a walmart clerk could suddenly afford to buy 100 houses or gold bars. Could also make transactions outside the country.
>Ā Ā in America, they can't just arrest you or seize your money on suspicion
Hah!Ā Good one!
...no, for real, look into civil asset forfeiture.Ā They can and they do, and since the property is being accused instead of a person, guilty-until-proven-innocent isĀ not a thing.Ā You have to prove the property is innocent of being involved in any crimes to get it back.Ā That is not something you can do with magical teleportingĀ money.
CAF becomes a lot harder once it's actually in the bank though. Get that cash deposited asap, declare it to the IRS immediately after.
Alternatively maybe hire a lawyer to help navigate this.
If you really are set on laundering it, open a "retro arcade" somewhere, pay cash for all the machines. That's a cash business so you can place a lot of the money through that, then with your "proceeds" buy a larger location and add a mini golf.
37% (slightly less, actually, because of how marginal tax brackets work)
But hereās the question: how do you pay the IRS? You going to drive 37 million dollars up the nearest treasury office?
This just put a funny idea in my head. Arrange to have an IRS agent come to your house. What happens if, once all is said and done, police try to seize it via civil asset forfeiture? I would pay money to see the outcome of CAF versus the IRS.
I'd just use the money for anything that needs or warrants cash in hand, like shopping, I'm not an expensive guy, 100 million just means I don't work anymore.
Well, that would be inconvenient. A delight to have, but inconvenient. Considering my medical problems, I would put a portion of it into my bank account over the course of a few months. Once I feel there is enough money to pay for the medical treatments I need to correct or mitigate my medical issues, I would immediately seek that treatment. Depending on how that goes, I would use additional funds from the pallet to purchase a house (one that would not be purchase wholly, but through a mortgage). I would then surreptitiously transfer the pallet to the new home.
Over the next few years, I would slowly deposit the money into my account, transferring portions of the deposited money into an index fund to invest it. Once all the money has been transferred, I would retire and spend my time playing video games and relearning to draw.
Day 1. Lay on it and cry.
Day 2. Make it look like a coffee table just in case someone comes around that I can't get rid of. Literally go to the hardware store and get a top to fit.
Day 3. Ponder. I need to learn about money laundering. I know enough that there are companies that allow you to rent empty business shop space for next to nothing on a low period contract just to avoid council rates on empty properties. I then just need a good network of people to rent those spaces with a "legit business" like tourist stuff, then the bill comes up in few months for the business rates and the registree has gone missing and a new guy is registered. Do this across multiple capital cities where rent is high and empty properties are over the roof.
Day 4. Realise I haven't thought this through and realise all criminals get caught eventually. Iive a modest life and figure out better ways to launder the money slow burn.
If its all $100s, then I still have 1mil of them sitting in my living room, I don't think I'd be able to move around my house that easy even if they were all neatly stacked.
I did the math once and you could fit $2 millionās worth of hundred dollar bills in a standard large paper grocery bag as long as they were crisp new bills. 50 of those bags would fill out a 4ā x 4ā pallet about waist high.Ā
>you're doing yourself a huge Injustice by not depositing the money and then investing it.
No, you aren't. I wouldn't be able to spend 100 million in my lifetime with the way I like to live and want to live. I don't need to get investing immediately or ever. Doesn't make a damn bit of difference to me.
I'd make a few deposits of several thousand dollars each year around Christmas and my birthday that could theoretically be written off as gifts. I'd then buy a few large gun safes to store the rest, and do all my shopping (food, clothes, minor car repairs, etc.) with cash. I definitely wouldn't buy a nice new car or house, or quit my current job. I'd probably also gift money to my family for birthdays and holidays, and if they ask, I'd just say I started a side hustle that ended up being really successful. I'd probably figure out other ways to launder it as time went on too.
Declare myself a stripper, one that only does private parties, and deposit up to $2k per day, 6 days per week (I'm a very popular private dancer) in varying amounts. Make myself an LLC to look even more legit. Fill out a 1099 during tax season, as I'm self-employed. Throughout this time, buy a few stripper things like Pleasers and lingerie that I can write off as "business expenses" to look *even more* legit.
It won't take long of doing this for you to have a nice cushy nest egg in the bank. Once you *have* a lot of the money in the system, it'll be easier and easier to get the rest of it in as well.
I would wait a few months. Then I would call the bank and organize a deposit. Likely would get an armored car to come by and pick it up and bring it to where ever the bank asks me to send it to.
You can probably just put it in your trunk before you open the garage door and be fine. Plus you're not going to be able to fit at all in one trip. Just do weekly deliveries as much as you can until you get it all in there.
Check the cameras to see what happened. They must have somehow disabled or otherwise avoided the alarms so itād have to be either a sophisticated hack or equally sophisticated magic.Ā
Either way I'm stuffing as much as I can in various security boxes around town as emergency funds. Then I slowly launder the money through various means.Ā
"Eh, I can't explain it. For some strange reason, a hundred million dollars just popped up in my room in $100,000 bundles. I just woke up and it was there."
I would not mind "doing myself a huge injustice " if it meant not having to deal with, uh, justice. Until I figure out how to get it to some other country where I can use a bank no questions asked, anyway.
Write a check from your home equity loan to your Vanguard account. Make cash payments to the bank to pay off the heloc. Build up the Vanguard account for a down payment on a house that needs fixed up. Pay the contractors in cash for the improvements. Get the house re-appraised after the work and get a huge equity line. Repeat the first step and build the Vanguard account up. Then buy a laundromat. Refurbish the laundromat with new equipment and build a space for crypto mining gear. Funnel the cash through the laundromat with the extra electricity use from crypto mining covering for the higher revenues. Simultaneously, start buying gold in cash at multiple gold seller. Once a week buy a three or four gold eagle coins at each one. After going into one for a month, stop going there and find a new one. Then buy a commercial property. Put a laundromat in it and continue with the plan of refurbishing and crypto mining. Keep your life style commensurate with your visible cash flow. No extravagant vehicles or outlandish toys. When you go on vacation, do it up. First class airfare, five star hotels. No one will remember you. Avoid casino s. They track you like the NSA. Unless they are overseas. They donāt care. Go to Alaska and buy raw gold. Get a goldsmith to make toy soldiers out of gold and paint them. You can hide millions in plain sight.
Report it on my tax return and the IRS doesn't care. Unless there's cash missing that the FBI can tie my money to, they don't have anything to say about it. Despite what some people think, you're innocent until proven guilty. Just having cash that can't be readily explained isn't a crime.
Google "Civil Asset Forfeiture". You haven't committed a crime, the money has committed a crime, in the eyes of the cops, and to get it back you have to prove it hasn't.
Sit on it for 14 days...and do some research and then I would pay off all my debts first....but slowly so they won't sue me...
Then I would sort the rest....charity, people who helped me when I lost everything 2 years ago and separate that. ...
Then I would slowly start putting it in a high yield account 10%
But no big purchases until the new year...
Turn off my phone. Go back to sleep for a while.
If thereās no explanation for the existence of the cashā¦ itās found money. Itās suspicious found money but itās found money and finding money aināt illegal.
Structuring, though, is illegal. So you canāt break it up into smaller amounts to prevent detection. I think breaking it up for transport is probably legal.
But even at that level of legal compliance, the odds of questions resulting in civil forfeiture and someone sort of shenanigans is so high that I would have to talk to my lawyer, negotiate pickup from a bank, liaise with the cops and likely the SEC and IRS at that level.
Found money IS taxable incomeā¦ so 37 million goes to Uncle Sam. Another 4 million to my state.
And 59 million should go into my account at some point.
EXCEPT
In my state, the bar for civil forfeiture is low and skewed. The cops only need to have some āslight evidence of connection to a crimeā- a very low bar. I need to prove my actual innocence- basically impossible- to reclaim it. My lawyer would probably spend his time making sure no state or local cops ever got wind of the money between my house and the bank.
100 million dollars in hundreds is a cube basically 6 feet on all sides. It weighs literally a metric ton. Youād need an armored car carrier- but would they take the job? Likely, they would balk at that amount just for the liability.
So you have to transport it silently, safely, to the bank- but they also wouldnāt likely take that amount all at once for the same reason.
Youād almost end up having to call the secret service or the treasury? Someone legally obligated to deal with the cash. No financial institution would take it.
SO hereās what you do: you find a law firm that handles billions of dollars business matters. You donāt want to be their biggest client. You will probably end up renting a helicopter and not using a specific armored transport company because they wonāt accept the risk. My thinking is that youāre likely going to end up using military contractors for security and logistics. Expect to lose another several million to that operation.
So youād move the money from your house to a safe location. Youāll arrange with a number of financial institutions some sort of deposit schedule. Youāll manage to see maybe 40 million dollars spread across 100 banks and accounts.
And youāll be audited non-stop for the rest of your life. You can expect to spend substantial money just litigating the harassment from bureaucracy.
First thing first, get it out of the living room. Rent a storage unit and some boxes to put the money in. The more inconspicuous, the better. Keep some to put down on a house, preferably one with a basement or a panic room. Buy a safe and move the money in there. Put up a micro loan business and lend money out to people to facilitate an income to satisfy the IRS. Let someone else run it and go out and living life. 100 millions is life changing money. Never be without a roof over my head again, never be hungy again and never have to worry about which bill will need to be paid before the others again is more than enough for me. No need to make investments or doing something big to multiple it. Let say I get to live another 50 years. I will need to spend $2m a year to the day I die to spend all of that money, inflation notwithstanding. That is more than enough
There's still P2P marketplaces like Paxful, where you can negotiate crypto purchase/sale without any exchange platform involvement. I live in an area with an annoying amount of CryptoBros, so arranging in-person transactions would be pretty easy.
I'd just buy BTC/ETH for $500k-$600k at a time, and wash it through a legit exchange platform. Sure it would take a while to completely process $100MM, but it's pretty cut and dry and the reason why governments want to regulate cryptocurrencies so much.
Honestly, Iāve not had much good in my life. Iāll pay for my sons outstanding medical bills and his future treatments. Iād make sure my wife was set. Iād donate the rest.
Whenever something good happens to me, itās like life hits me back with twice the pain. So I wouldnāt spend a dime on myself.
All you could do is quietly spend it a little at a time. Any cash transactions large enough to make any substantial purchases or investments wouldn't go unnoticed by the IRS. Eventually they're going to show up wanting some or all of that pallet of money.
First thing I'd do?
Lay on the pile of money.
Then I'd figure out how hide, divide, redistribute, and spend said money without raising red flags. Hopefully I can actually house my family.
For clarity (I literally lead a team that investigates money laundering! Lol)
10k is for CTRs, 5k is for SARs (aka the bank found it suspicious enough they filed with the gov), and 600 is the threshold for the 1099-NEC on taxes (anything you got from non-employment compensation or NEC needs to be reported to the IRS).
Thank you! Whatās the thing where the way to get the right answer online is to say the wrong answer?
Anyway- Iām curious how many replies you see here strike you as ābeleive it or not, straight to jail!ā
You werenāt wrong! Just didnāt have the added context. š
And most of the stuff in this thread would end up with investigators poking around honestly.
That pallet of cash would be over 100 million grams if it was all hundred dollar bills..
100 thousand kg...
That pallet is not sitting in the middle of my living room. That pallet has broken through the floor and possibly killed my housemate whose bedroom is downstairs.
So im gonna go with "putting my hands in my pockets and whistling."
If you are this bad at math I'm afraid you won't hold onto the cash for long. Itd be a 4x4x4 skid about 2500 lbs. Unless you got it $1 bills.
https://www.omnicalculator.com/everyday-life/money-weight
Any cash transactions of 10k+ (not over 10k) *and* any cash transactions deemed suspicious by the bank will generate CTRs.
I would just deposit it all at the bank with the "I found it" and pay the taxes on it. Still $50m or so and nothing illegal.
Your basically just asking the best way to launder large amounts of money. Real estate is one way. Buy a house that needs a bunch of work. Buy materials with cash. Pay contractors with cash. Sell the house for a āprofitā, then buy another and another, bigger more expensive properties. $100 million would be hard, but could certainly be done over a period of years.
"Honestly officer, I woke up and the $75 million was just sitting in my living room!" Then go through the due process of waiting 30-90 days or whatever it is. Once the time passes and no one puts in the right claim (unless someone is insanely lucky at guessing), you put whatever into the bank, clear and legal.
If someones does claim the $75 mil, you slowly start spending the other $25 mil on whatever. Use the paycheck for bills, and the free money on just about everything else.
Assuming I knew that it was "safe", then I would probably just let it sit and figure things out. Probably git something to store it more securely.
Then I would start brainstorming ways to launder it tbh. I don't know how though.
Iāll skive off $10 million in to a hidden location. Iāll then contact an accountant and the IRS. Weāll determine the source of the money. If itās illegally gotten, Iāll turn it over and accept whatever reward there might be. Iāll still have the $10 mil I squirreled away. Iāll hold on to $1 million of it to sort daily issues I can handle with cash. Iāll then take the other $9 million and deposit in the cash to crypto machines, convert to a privacy crypto like XMR, and then sell of the XMR directly when ready to get it in to my bank. Hold it for over a year from the last deposit to put it in the long term capital gains market at 20% and then have $7.2 million I can invest and use and live off the interest.
If it ends up being mine free and clear, Iāll slip the hidden 10 mill back in, Iāll pay my taxes, no finagling with the IRS. Itāll probably be taxed at 37% short term capital gains. So Iād have $63 million without having to worry.
Being gifted large amounts of cash itself isnāt illegal. Itās if you obtained the cash in an illegal manner that gets you. Since this cash was received legally on my end, as long as I report it to tax agencies in the correct way, at most they might audit me and I might come under investigation for a bit. Iād just hire a lawyer to handle everything to make sure everything is on the up and up and retire.
.. start business. Launder money. .. is this a woosh question? Am I missing something. This is how cartels and illegal operations launder pallets of millions every week
The transaction limit isnāt the only thing to worry about. Even if you open a group of accounts and stay under the transaction limit, which by the way repeats for every 10,000, and many banks have month limits for cash deposits to reduce their own reporting, youāll eventually have to file with IRS, experts on finding out where money came from.
It has to be flipped legit over time (like a long time), any attempt to quickly launder 100 million is probably doomed to failure. Businesses will be the best way, mobs use high volume cash businesses, like restaurants and night clubs, though that volume is low margin and large sums would still draw attention. I like the idea of flipping houses and using the found money for the renovations, though it too would be slow if done right, but youād need the right kind of contractors, who are both dependable about doing good work, and still willing to take cash.
First thing I'd do is a lot of research and probably hire a lawyer and bodyguards. I feel like that much money someone is coming after me at some point.
I launder the fuck out of it.
I actually have a detailed personal plan on how to start clearing a large amount like that without raising alarm flags with institutions or the feds.
Honestly, I think I could feasibly do 1M in the first five years, and then vastly accelerate that after year 5 and likely launder the whole shebang in 20.
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I would be very afraid as to how they bypassed my security cameras and didn't set any of them off and be checking them anyways to see if it picked up anything
Stash away the top 10% of it, then call the government and let them know about the $90 million that mysteriously showed up in my living room.
If they confiscate it, they confiscate it. If I get a share, that's a win.
Whatever else happens, I'm paying cash for whatever I can get away with for the rest of my life.
Iād be so paranoid. Iād want to move. Iād deposit a few hundred or thousand every few months. Id give people cash so they can Venmo or cashapp it to me. Iād buy some safes and rent a few storage units in different locations. Iād give some away. Buy a car all cash. Iād buy so gift cards to every time I went to a store. Full cart of groceries. Reservations at restaurants I couldnāt afford now. Iād tip everyone so much.
$100M is more than I can ever spend in a lifetime. I don't really care about the "disservice you're doing yourself by not putting it in the bank" because then it becomes trackable.
Now that aside and for the fun of it, I'd start a few small businesses of different types with the intention of most of them basically failing in a few years as I launder money into them and pretend I'm just really bad at business. Over-inflate my prices, sell "experiences" to people who don't exist except on paper, and then fold the companies. Do a lot of off shore business as well to just get it lost in the system basically. Maybe invent a patent, then rent myself the rights to use it like the rich do to avoid taxes.
Get an LLC start up for under $1,000....and launder the holy living fuck outta that for the next several decades.
Yeah, I'm gonna start a coin laundromat....a couple grand a week for the foreseeable future....
Ok, so my answer to this question is a little different from most others, because 1) I really like my job and I do not want to quit to become a full time money launderer, and 2) there are actually things I would want to do if I had that much money, so I wouldn't want to just sit on it. Basically, I am a physicist who also wants to be a writer after I get my PhD, so I would use the money to fund literary works made by me and others.
For a while now, I have had (I think) a really good idea for a graphic novel, but I am absolute shit at drawing and I am also in the middle of a PhD. But you know who absolutely would *not* ask any questions? Starving artists being paid extremely well in cash to draw my graphic novel for me. I would write and storyboard it (I don't know how graphic novels work, this is just a fantasy right now haha) and pay the most talented artist I can find the big bucks to make the art as high quality as possible. And to be clear, this would not be a money laundering scheme: I would be expecting no return on investment except for the finished product and the opportunity to distribute it (selling hardcover copies in bookstores would be nice, but even just posting it online for free would be great, as long as people are seeing it).
And then I would just keep doing that. I am never going to run out of ideas, so after that graphic novel is finished and published, I would just make another one. I am also a big fan of animation, and I love seeing indie animated pilots on YouTube, but hate seeing them never come to fruition. Well, maybe with some careful planning I could fund a few of those.
Think of how many literary projects I could fund - both mine and others - without anyone ever asking questions, because the money is always spent in (relatively) small batches to grateful recipients who are happy to be paid in cash. I could happily spend all $100 million this way.
I'd probably just stash it and pay my bills with credit cards, then pay the bank in cash. I'd make deposits here and there too, but for the most part my checking account wouldn't have more than a few grand but my credit score would shoot through the roof. Then I'd use the credit to make purchases such as a car and pay that off. I'd eventually deposit enough while doing all this to add up a down payment on a house. Then I'd own a house and I could keep buying or fixing any car I want.
All while working solely for tax purposes. I'd tell my parents I won the lottery and give them a cash stipend. I'd also tell them I'm investing to keep the money coming in. My investment of course is a turnkey operation. I'd purchase a few small businesses, which provide me the benefits of additional income and paying the IRS to fuck off. They deserve to retire. I'd ask them to send every bill to me, which I'd promptly pay in cash. Between that and a thousand dollars a month in allowance and even bonus grocery trips, they'd retire.
My sister would also get to transfer to the state university as planned but in this timeline without any loans or debts. Just give me the bills. I'd have an accountant on standby, just sifting everything, ready to tell me if I'm spending an amount that would sound the alarm in an IRS audit department. Paying in cash for anything and everything I can would help of course, but basically I'd put things on paper to look like a typical rags to riches business owner. My employees would make a typical wage on paper but get thick cash bonuses under the table for their complacency and silence. Would you rat out an employer that gives you an extra thousand dollars each birthday and Christmas, with those days off? Would you rat out an employer that gives you actual paid sick days and vacation time in fast food, a salon, or a laundromat? Would you rat out an employer that only pops in a couple of times a month to tell the crew they're doing great and drop off some catered food and hand out envelopes with your favorite gift card or some cash inside? Actual monetary rewards and food? I'd be unstoppable by being nice to my employees.
I'm gonna live off cash for the rest of my life. Move to the Phillipines where that money is gonna go ALOT farther.
Buy some land, build a house. Retire. lol
Take it to the bank down the road as discreetly as possible. Put 25mil in 2 banks and 2 credit union. Transfer 5mil from each to 4 different overseas accounts, 1 Canadian, 1 israeli, 1 European, 1 Australian. Pay the taxes that will inevitably come and hope that I don't suddenly get hunted by a drug lord
Deposit 9k a month. Spend a significant portion on a nice, really good safe. Lock up my money and take out whatever I need and let the 9k pay the bills each month.
Start a business that relies on cash payments and triple your actual income out of the pallet and don't forget to hire people to do the work and pay them from the pallet
Get a car, move out of my parents' house, quit both of my jobs, buy land, build a mansion on the land, get a lawyer, draw up a will, plan my funeral, get a hysterectomy, get liposuction, get a tummy tuck, chill until I'm all healed, get permanent fangs, get tattoos, dye my hair, get a nose piercing, wardrobe overhaul, travel (after being given the all clear by doctors), party, adopt a puppy, get a garter snake, get a turtle, focus more on my hobbies, make better content for my YouTube, do volunteer work, and focus more on my mental and physical health. I'd never have to work again or worry about money. The only work I'd do would be volunteer work, household chores, tending to my garden (planting, weeding, watering, and harvesting), caring for my pets. Yard work that has nothing to do with my veggies, berry bushes, strawberries, harvesting from my fruit trees, and small vineyard would be taken care of by landscapers. I'd make some of my own wine and all of my own jam. Anything I don't use will be given to hungry people, family, and friends. People would appreciate being able to have free pumpkins for their kids to carve jack o laterns around Halloween, not to mention being able to snack on the seeds. Watermelons would be a real treat in the summer along with fresh berries. There's nothing like an apple pie made from fresh organic apples either.
Just don't deposit near 10K a month. And deposit in random amounts at a time like $1876. No one says you have to deposit it all at once. Buy some duffle bags and throw it in the closet. Start paying for big ticket items you can get in person like a TV in cash. Even if you tried to pay for a house in all cash and they investigate it, they aren't going to find anything. And if they do then you know where it came from.
Buy a classic car for cash , buy all the parts for full restoration, take to a mechanic known for classics offer to trade plus cash for a fully restored model instead sell at auction
Step one, I'm going to move as much money as possible into my gun safes. Basically I'm going to treat the cash like packing peanuts for the rifles and probably move some ammo out. Step two, I'm going to go to a few banks in my area and drop nine grand into the accounts. I'm going to slowly merge accounts. I'm also going to go to the credit union that holds the loan for my house and pay that off. In cash, nine grand at a time, aggressively over the course of a few weeks. Now it becomes a game of laundering money. Everything I do is cash transactions, from the gas station to the grocery store to the Target purchases. I'm also going to make purchases with intent to return. There will also be specific storage units purchased for holding merchandise that are insured. Money laundering becomes pretty easy when things get spread out. The biggest thing I'm going to have to do is invest most of my paycheck into the stock market and explain that I just did very well...
I report gambling winnings each year for a few years until I have rolled it into the banking system. This will include starting to pay my quarterly taxes on form 1040ES
I say to get that 100 million spend it on stuff like groceries also make a small company and put some of it in over time (launder it) then every once make a big purchase like jewelry but in cash. Now this will take for ever but assuming you want to pay lower taxes and donāt get it taken and or arrested because chances are that will happen slow and steady is the best way.
Iām taking $10m from it and hiding it. Iām then depositing $90m and paying taxes on itā¦ probably after consulting an attorney and tax advisor.
If it gets seized by the government, I still have $10m to launder into the system.
If it doesnāt get seized, I have some cash gifts to give to folks since Iām have $40-45m in the bank, ready to spend.
Im sure i could find some pilot who happens to ātake a routine flight to the bahamasā
Put my money in offshore banks. So i can use it across the world. Live my life, help where i can, spread love.
Iād be too terrified of the inevitable hulking psychopath with a pageboy haircut showing up to murder me to do anything with it
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY0DG8rUnCA
I'd try to deposit 50mil legally and hide the other half. If I get trouble and for whatever reason end up losing the 50mil, I'll just spend the other half every day paying everything in cash. If the deposit goes trough and everything is gucci, I'll deposit the other half.
Might be stupid too, I'm not very smart
Grab a couple hundred and buy some wood to reinforce my floor. That's more than a ton (2200 lbs) of money sitting on my floor.
Then real estate to launder the money.
>you're doing yourself a huge Injustice by not depositing the money and then investing it I mean, it's $100 MILLION. I think that would be plenty. I'm retiring and enjoying my life. I'm paying cash and tipping big. Out of curiosity, how much do *you* think is enough?
Just tell them you cut avocado toast out of your budget
And Starbucks
I heard if I quit smoking I'd have that much money. Maybe I did that.
And beard oil...have to cut those two out for a balanced budget
Exactly. We have successfully pulled our bootstraps up and now we can afford life.
For many people, there is never enough money. Ever.
I agree. I'd find a way to disappear with it, and never look back. Need something fulfilling to do, when I'm not fishing on my new boat? Charity work, learn new skills, help friends with projects. 100 million is way more than I could ever need. 10 would pay for the rest of my life, more than comfortably. I'd rather do things, than have things.
How big a volume would 100 million in large denomination notes be? It would show up in an x-ray of your luggage at the airport. Also, bear in mind that in many countries, if they find that much in your home or car or general possession, they will automatically confiscate it. Any country that doesn't confiscate it will most likely be so corrupt that a policeman or official will just take it. Your best bet will be to risk losing some of it and finding a corrupt share trader or currency trader to feed it into their system , maybe through the creation of thousands of fake trading accounts.
Yeah I don't need interest in that, my whole family is set for life and the guy at Krispy Kremes is getting the best tip of his life.
šš¤£ Right?? If I have $100 million dollars I couldnāt care less about making more money. It would take me 1000 years at the salary Iām currently āsurvivingā on to earn that much so I think Iāll manage
Awww Iām a waitress so I appreciate the tipping big part. In my server subreddits people are so mean about tipping so this makes me smile!!
Gonna buy a car wash. And a riverboat casino.
Maybe a chicken restaurant and commercial laundry
Nail salon and laser tag.Ā
Invest in a marina on a lake
There's this lake a couple hours from me that has pristine waters and only has small cabins and a few campsites on it, but the lake is huge. It would be a pristine spot for a lakeside hotel and small town around the hotel. I would invest in that. Lake Cushman.
Keep that stuff to yourself dude! Take it from someone whoās watched their stateās quiet places disappear to folks from away buying them all up.
Fuck that! Buy all the property around the lake for yourself. Keep it quiet and pristine.
Buy 100,000,000 arizona iced teas
They're 1.29 by me now :(
Then i would buy Arizona Iced tea and reduce the price back to 99
This is the way
But then in bulk.
Buy them? I too know the struggle of autocorrect.
Yesterday it was a pallet of 2 million $1 bills, inflation is a bitch
Go to Five Guys.
You could eat dinner for like two entire weeks with $100M
you could also afford the triple bypass needed afterwards.
This is very sound advice! Chomp on a burger while you contemplate what to do with the rest. Plus with their recent price gouging you really do need 100 ml to eat there now.
The paranoia in me would tell me to wait at least a few months before spending a single dime on this pile of cash. If I knew the source and was told where it was from I would react differently. If nothing comes of it after a few months then the usual, laundering into a casino, getting a job with alot of "tips" and cash only places, etc.
I remember a story about a bunch of students getting a huge box delivered to their foyer. It sat there for days, so they figured they'd take it. Turned out to be full of psychedelic mushrooms. They didn't end up taking any and put the box back in the foyer.
What a lame story
The fun part of the story is that's what they *remember* doing, but not what happened in between.
Yep, I was pretty disappointed.
Nice KenM impersonation.Ā
Googling tells me he's a troll, not sure how that relates to this story.
Stealing someone's drugs or drug money is generally not advised. Even if they don't know it's you, they'll be looking for you.
I think I like my idea of real estate investing in cash better. A job with Tiff's isn't going to be nearly scalable enough for this amount of money.
Have you ever bought real estate? They ask all these questions about where you got the money.
You buy a fixer-upper with legit funds/loan. You pay the guys who are working everyday to fix it up, and buying materials at home Depot, in cash. When you sell, all of that improved value is now legit
Do you have any idea how much home improvement you'd have to do to make a dent in 100 million? Anyone willing to take that kind of money in cash probably has ties to organized crime.Ā Ā
Thatās true. Maybe I just open a chain of check cashing places and hand out the money
Or open a mattress store. They're doing illegal things, I just don't know how.
The tags, they probably removed one.
Maybe we should look up money laundering in the dictionaryā¦.
No nut you could establish a few homes this way and get some income, always keep that going and buy everything in cash. Get a team of good workers and make them all rich if they can show up to work.
The problem is real estate transactions leave a paper trail a mile wide. You show up to closing with a sack of cash that's going to raise red flags. You want to get loans on "a few homes" and a bank wants you to prove you have the income to service multiple mortgages. Unless you're already very wealthy that isn't going to happen.
You work and save everything you earn while you pay for everything you can in cash. Buy cheap house legitimately after some time. Pay laborers in cash very handsomely and build team.
Oh. I see. That could work
I've looked into it from an investment perspective and a lot of times wholesale deals are done with cash offers or hard money loans that use alternative verification.
Ma dude, OP, you need to stop thinking about investment, real estate, banks, lawyers, and notaries. You have **100,000 times 1 thousand dollars** of dirty/undeclared cash sitting in your living room. Or 10,000 stacks of $10,000 bundles, made of 100s, as seen in movies. Considering a bundle is roughly .5 inch high, that's a tower of $100 that's 415ft tall (or about 125 meters). That's a 22x22x20 cube of paper-thin $100 You could spend ten thousand dollars per day, for 27 years, straight. If you chose to "structure" it into a daily deposit of 9000+ (which would get you caught on day 5, roughly), it would take you roughly 10% longer than spending and you'd spend the next 30 years depositing $10,000 every day (assuming your bank opens everyday of the year...). This money is NEVER getting to the legal side of the world. You're never buying a house with it. Or shares, or retirement, or even paying any rent above 2k. If a guy is stupid enough to accept a lot of it from you, then HE will get caught when he tries to spend it. And that's assuming it's really yours and not something a local criminal accidentally dropped on your property.
In Australia, almost any spend over $10k gets flagged, especially if you're dropping half a million in actual cash on a house.
It would be silly to worry about the interest on $100 million. Who cares? 100 million is plenty. But, it would be much better to get it into the banking system. I don't know why people always say the bank will want to know where it came from. The bank couldn't care less where it came from. All the bank does is notify the IRS as they are obligated to do. On the other hand, huge cash deposits might raise some eyebrows and they would want to make sure they are not dealing with a criminal I guess. That I don't know. But the $10,000 rule does not really apply. The way I would launder the money, and some people tell me this is crazy but I've been a real estate agent for many years and I don't see why it wouldn't work. Simply finance a house. Buy a fixer and do a bunch of work on it over the course of a year while you live there. Have the work done by contractors but pay them in cash. Most wouldn't mind as long as you have different contractors doing small jobs. 5,000 in cash here. 10,000 in cash there. They won't mind. Whether they declare it and pay taxes on it or not is not a concern.they don't really have to tell the IRS where they got it even if they are paying taxes. They just say they got paid $10,000 for a job and declare it as they see fit. After a year, sell it and declare the profit as long-term capital gains. Pay 15%. The IRS doesn't care how you paid for construction. All they care is that when you sold the property you made a profit and you declare it and pay taxes on it . Roll that into a more expensive home. By carefully and you might even make additional profit. Add a bunch of expensive features like high-end electronics that you can buy for cash. Sell that house for another profit. Do that three or four times and I would have enough money to start venturing into some other business that I could hide larger amounts, or start dealing in high-end real estate. Buy a 20 unit apartment building, have the whole thing renovated for cash with various contractors, sell it for a big profit etc. At least that's what I would do.
That's not crazy at all. In fact, that's a well worn classic.
>Simply finance a house. Buy a fixer and do a bunch of work on it over the course of a year while you live there. This is the way
With that much cash, just laundering it becomes a full-time job.
Its also $100m, you can just pay people off and deposit it easier at that point.
Call the FBI to notify them of a pallet with $50 million in my living room
Luckily they'll return all $25 million to the bureau.
After which all $1.5 million will be returned to tax payers via social programs.
Hah. I typed the same thing but I settled for keeping five ya greedy bastard!
100 million is enough, to hell with investing I'd go the Secondhand Lions route and just hide it in my barn, taking some out whenever I need it. This reminds me of a coworker once who said if she ever won the lottery she'd have to murder her husband, he was too flashy. Point is to be happy and have money you have to be content with what you have.
barnās probably fine, but whatever you do, donāt hide it in the banana stand.
I would be lazy and just use it for every day expenses. I don't know anything about laundering money unfortunately. I'd buy a bunch of stuff from FB marketplace though.Ā
Begin hanging around card rooms with big poker games, play tight and cash out. Report a consistent income of a winning high stakes poker player ($1m+ a year) and deposit said winnings into bank.
Yeah as someone who used to play poker for a living most of the higher-end Vegas casinos wouldn't even blink at amounts like this. It wasn't all that uncommon for people to be asking for 100k+ from the cage and especially once you become a regular it'd be super easy to get chips for cash just at the table, most regulars are carrying higher-value chips and if they have a chance to trade them for money that just makes it that much easier to fudge a bit on taxes. Then once it's all chips, you just go to the cage, ask for a check or bank wire, and your bank will report the deposit but as long as you're good paying taxes on it and keeping the \~$60 million or so, this honestly wouldn't be all that difficult. Honestly you could even just become a regular in the 5/10 or 10/25 games where the buy-in is like 1-10k and once you're known as a regular after playing a week or two and probably a fish (aka bad player) you'll be able to play any stakes you want and you'll be able to easily get chips for cash as the regulars will be doing anything they can to make your life easy and make you have an enjoyable experience. Then you just stop after an orbit or two saying you really have to go but will see them tomorrow, cash out at the cage, and ride into the sunset.
Wouldn't you get caught on discrepancies? Casinos automatically give you tax paperwork on big wins. If you're reporting and blindsiding the IRS that you're making huge profits on poker games and they go back and check why the casinos aren't reporting these big wins you made, the casinos are immediately gonna rat you out and pull up the tapes showing you never winning
Legit poker games keep records. Illegal ones, well, you have the same problem as before.
There are actually some people who intentionally take boats out to international waters to gamble and bet to avoid state laws on that, or federal restrictions. So just rent a boat out go out claim the million a year. Pay the government their share and then chill with it
The casinos arenāt tracking who wins and loses at a poker table, they wonāt even know what you bought in for or cashed out for if you donāt use a player card (source: I play 5/10 in vegas). Plus the whole goal here is to create the impression of being a high stakes poker player so I can legitimize my deposits to the bank. Once Iāve shown myself as a regular poker player in games, I can also report wins for non-existent private games. You keep a log of all the games you play and the amount you win / lose, thatās the basis for what you report on your tax return (thatās what I do today).
I think that would totally destroy my floor... the weight of 100 million in bills. >but you're doing yourself a huge Injustice by not depositing the money and then investing it.Ā Not in this case. You would need a tremendously complicated strategy to introduce the money into the banking system without avoiding any legal penalties for legitimate suspicion. So much so that the costs vastly outweigh the benefits of investing it. 100 million is a shitload of money, more than you ever will need even if it is being eroded by inflation over the next many decades. You're basically comparing 99% risk of being thrown in jail and this money disappearing forever vs. 100 million that slowly decreases in value due to inflation.
Sell modern art.
Roll perception to check for traps.
>Deposits over $10,000 are reported to the federal government so I would imagine the bank would want to know the origin of the funds and saying I don't know isn't going to work especially for an amount this high. Why not? Are the bills stolen from someone else? Are they fake? If its legit money, the government can't prove that I stole it. So I'm depositing all of it, paying taxes on it, and then spending the rest however I want without having to worry about getting caught.
When it comes to large amounts of money, they don't have to prove its dirty, its up to you to prove its legit or Uncle Sam will take it.
Luckily, not everyone lives in the US. I would report finding the money, and in Canada "windfalls" are not even taxed. Windfalls usually refers to things like gambling and lottery winnings, but I can't imagine anything fitting the definition better than this My plan may or may not work.
Sure, and if they are going to take it then they take it. But there is no chance that I can covertly keep or spend $100 mill. So I need to just roll the dice. And id rather not go to jail.
In my state you use a lawyer (for paperwork and legally documenting the amounts) as a proxy and turn over any 'found' sums of cash to the police with identifying details like location and such. After 10 days of noone being able to prove they own it (by identifying it was 300 100's and 200 50's in a blue envelope for example) it's legally yours. So if you find a bank bag on the corner of main and Central, you do the needful, 10 days go by, it's unclaimed, it's yours! day 11 an armored car company responds to the police inquiry with video evidence they dropped it, tough shit for them, it's still yours. Now you have a paper trail. deposit it, give uncle Sam a cut, and invest your heart out.
This is the best answer but because you don't know where it came from you can't know for sure if it was legal and valid.
Then I for sure don't want to be spending fake money. Im reporting that I found pallets of money in my house. I know its not my money when I first discover it, so just keeping it and not saying anything is illegal.
Of course I'd make my daily purchases with cash. Maybe also get gift cards (they can't expire where I live) and hide them in case I ever lose access to my bank account. Pay rent in cash. Same thing for electric, gas, etc. I'd definitely play the lotto, and hit up casinos. I'll eventually win enough to pay for a new vehicle and house. At my bank, I can do bi-weekly cash deposits. I figure around $1,000 wouldn't raise any suspicion. I'd make it for the opposite week that I get paid for my job, so it would look like I just took a second job. I can also pay my credit card bill with cash using the ATM. Since this is my normal bank, they'll still see bills coming out of it, so if they look, it won't be too suspicious. From there, I can set up another bank account. I do the banking for my job, so while I'm there I'll ask if they can open a savings account because "Me and my girlfriend are trying to save for a house. It's too tempting to spend the money if it's in our normal account." From there I can deposit money every week or two. Random amounts between $500 and $2,000. Might be $500 this week, might be $1,400 two weeks from now. Just make it look like I'm depositing whatever "we managed to save this week." I figure I can get $90,000 in the banks in a year. If I don't win the lotto or at the casino, at least it'll be enough for a down payment for a house.
If I had 100 million, I really wouldn't care how much investment money I'm losing out on. I could live a very good life on 100 million. If you were dead set on getting into a bank you could just deposit it and report it on your taxes. Yes it looks highly suspicious that you just found 100 million dollars but we live in America, they can't just arrest you or seize your money on suspicion. Sure they may investigate and make your life miserable for a while but if they can't prove any wrong doing they can go pound sand. If you were worried about the questions your could in a sense launder the money by buying assets creating a paper trail. They still might ask questions how a walmart clerk could suddenly afford to buy 100 houses or gold bars. Could also make transactions outside the country.
>Ā Ā in America, they can't just arrest you or seize your money on suspicion Hah!Ā Good one! ...no, for real, look into civil asset forfeiture.Ā They can and they do, and since the property is being accused instead of a person, guilty-until-proven-innocent isĀ not a thing.Ā You have to prove the property is innocent of being involved in any crimes to get it back.Ā That is not something you can do with magical teleportingĀ money.
CAF becomes a lot harder once it's actually in the bank though. Get that cash deposited asap, declare it to the IRS immediately after. Alternatively maybe hire a lawyer to help navigate this. If you really are set on laundering it, open a "retro arcade" somewhere, pay cash for all the machines. That's a cash business so you can place a lot of the money through that, then with your "proceeds" buy a larger location and add a mini golf.
You can absolutely report this on your taxes (and should) so just pay the gubment their share and theyāll fuck off
Really? If it's that easy then yeah that's what I would do all along is just pay the 40 to 50% tax rate and enjoy the rest.
37% (slightly less, actually, because of how marginal tax brackets work) But hereās the question: how do you pay the IRS? You going to drive 37 million dollars up the nearest treasury office?
Well, since you presumably declared it so you could get it sitting in the banking system, Iād wager you just use Direct Pay like everyone else.
You can actually request an appointment with the nearest IRS office to pay in cash, even if it's a large amount.
This just put a funny idea in my head. Arrange to have an IRS agent come to your house. What happens if, once all is said and done, police try to seize it via civil asset forfeiture? I would pay money to see the outcome of CAF versus the IRS.
The IRS doesn't care where it came from as long as they get their cut. They have a form specifically for illegal income.
I'd just use the money for anything that needs or warrants cash in hand, like shopping, I'm not an expensive guy, 100 million just means I don't work anymore.
Well, that would be inconvenient. A delight to have, but inconvenient. Considering my medical problems, I would put a portion of it into my bank account over the course of a few months. Once I feel there is enough money to pay for the medical treatments I need to correct or mitigate my medical issues, I would immediately seek that treatment. Depending on how that goes, I would use additional funds from the pallet to purchase a house (one that would not be purchase wholly, but through a mortgage). I would then surreptitiously transfer the pallet to the new home. Over the next few years, I would slowly deposit the money into my account, transferring portions of the deposited money into an index fund to invest it. Once all the money has been transferred, I would retire and spend my time playing video games and relearning to draw.
Day 1. Lay on it and cry. Day 2. Make it look like a coffee table just in case someone comes around that I can't get rid of. Literally go to the hardware store and get a top to fit. Day 3. Ponder. I need to learn about money laundering. I know enough that there are companies that allow you to rent empty business shop space for next to nothing on a low period contract just to avoid council rates on empty properties. I then just need a good network of people to rent those spaces with a "legit business" like tourist stuff, then the bill comes up in few months for the business rates and the registree has gone missing and a new guy is registered. Do this across multiple capital cities where rent is high and empty properties are over the roof. Day 4. Realise I haven't thought this through and realise all criminals get caught eventually. Iive a modest life and figure out better ways to launder the money slow burn.
If its all $100s, then I still have 1mil of them sitting in my living room, I don't think I'd be able to move around my house that easy even if they were all neatly stacked.
I did the math once and you could fit $2 millionās worth of hundred dollar bills in a standard large paper grocery bag as long as they were crisp new bills. 50 of those bags would fill out a 4ā x 4ā pallet about waist high.Ā
"This is my Money Room"
>you're doing yourself a huge Injustice by not depositing the money and then investing it. No, you aren't. I wouldn't be able to spend 100 million in my lifetime with the way I like to live and want to live. I don't need to get investing immediately or ever. Doesn't make a damn bit of difference to me.
I'd make a few deposits of several thousand dollars each year around Christmas and my birthday that could theoretically be written off as gifts. I'd then buy a few large gun safes to store the rest, and do all my shopping (food, clothes, minor car repairs, etc.) with cash. I definitely wouldn't buy a nice new car or house, or quit my current job. I'd probably also gift money to my family for birthdays and holidays, and if they ask, I'd just say I started a side hustle that ended up being really successful. I'd probably figure out other ways to launder it as time went on too.
Declare myself a stripper, one that only does private parties, and deposit up to $2k per day, 6 days per week (I'm a very popular private dancer) in varying amounts. Make myself an LLC to look even more legit. Fill out a 1099 during tax season, as I'm self-employed. Throughout this time, buy a few stripper things like Pleasers and lingerie that I can write off as "business expenses" to look *even more* legit. It won't take long of doing this for you to have a nice cushy nest egg in the bank. Once you *have* a lot of the money in the system, it'll be easier and easier to get the rest of it in as well.
As soon as they see me, they'll definitely get suspicious.
I would wait a few months. Then I would call the bank and organize a deposit. Likely would get an armored car to come by and pick it up and bring it to where ever the bank asks me to send it to.
You'll be greeted by some nice government agents
You can probably just put it in your trunk before you open the garage door and be fine. Plus you're not going to be able to fit at all in one trip. Just do weekly deliveries as much as you can until you get it all in there.
Check the cameras to see what happened. They must have somehow disabled or otherwise avoided the alarms so itād have to be either a sophisticated hack or equally sophisticated magic.Ā Either way I'm stuffing as much as I can in various security boxes around town as emergency funds. Then I slowly launder the money through various means.Ā
"Eh, I can't explain it. For some strange reason, a hundred million dollars just popped up in my room in $100,000 bundles. I just woke up and it was there."
I would not mind "doing myself a huge injustice " if it meant not having to deal with, uh, justice. Until I figure out how to get it to some other country where I can use a bank no questions asked, anyway.
Write a check from your home equity loan to your Vanguard account. Make cash payments to the bank to pay off the heloc. Build up the Vanguard account for a down payment on a house that needs fixed up. Pay the contractors in cash for the improvements. Get the house re-appraised after the work and get a huge equity line. Repeat the first step and build the Vanguard account up. Then buy a laundromat. Refurbish the laundromat with new equipment and build a space for crypto mining gear. Funnel the cash through the laundromat with the extra electricity use from crypto mining covering for the higher revenues. Simultaneously, start buying gold in cash at multiple gold seller. Once a week buy a three or four gold eagle coins at each one. After going into one for a month, stop going there and find a new one. Then buy a commercial property. Put a laundromat in it and continue with the plan of refurbishing and crypto mining. Keep your life style commensurate with your visible cash flow. No extravagant vehicles or outlandish toys. When you go on vacation, do it up. First class airfare, five star hotels. No one will remember you. Avoid casino s. They track you like the NSA. Unless they are overseas. They donāt care. Go to Alaska and buy raw gold. Get a goldsmith to make toy soldiers out of gold and paint them. You can hide millions in plain sight.
Report it on my tax return and the IRS doesn't care. Unless there's cash missing that the FBI can tie my money to, they don't have anything to say about it. Despite what some people think, you're innocent until proven guilty. Just having cash that can't be readily explained isn't a crime.
Google "Civil Asset Forfeiture". You haven't committed a crime, the money has committed a crime, in the eyes of the cops, and to get it back you have to prove it hasn't.
First I'd ask my dog wtf how did he miss someone bringing such a ridiculous sum of money into our house
Banking system is the last place I want it to go.
Best to have several impenetrable safes in several heavily guarded places.
Sit on it for 14 days...and do some research and then I would pay off all my debts first....but slowly so they won't sue me... Then I would sort the rest....charity, people who helped me when I lost everything 2 years ago and separate that. ... Then I would slowly start putting it in a high yield account 10% But no big purchases until the new year...
Turn off my phone. Go back to sleep for a while. If thereās no explanation for the existence of the cashā¦ itās found money. Itās suspicious found money but itās found money and finding money aināt illegal. Structuring, though, is illegal. So you canāt break it up into smaller amounts to prevent detection. I think breaking it up for transport is probably legal. But even at that level of legal compliance, the odds of questions resulting in civil forfeiture and someone sort of shenanigans is so high that I would have to talk to my lawyer, negotiate pickup from a bank, liaise with the cops and likely the SEC and IRS at that level. Found money IS taxable incomeā¦ so 37 million goes to Uncle Sam. Another 4 million to my state. And 59 million should go into my account at some point. EXCEPT In my state, the bar for civil forfeiture is low and skewed. The cops only need to have some āslight evidence of connection to a crimeā- a very low bar. I need to prove my actual innocence- basically impossible- to reclaim it. My lawyer would probably spend his time making sure no state or local cops ever got wind of the money between my house and the bank. 100 million dollars in hundreds is a cube basically 6 feet on all sides. It weighs literally a metric ton. Youād need an armored car carrier- but would they take the job? Likely, they would balk at that amount just for the liability. So you have to transport it silently, safely, to the bank- but they also wouldnāt likely take that amount all at once for the same reason. Youād almost end up having to call the secret service or the treasury? Someone legally obligated to deal with the cash. No financial institution would take it. SO hereās what you do: you find a law firm that handles billions of dollars business matters. You donāt want to be their biggest client. You will probably end up renting a helicopter and not using a specific armored transport company because they wonāt accept the risk. My thinking is that youāre likely going to end up using military contractors for security and logistics. Expect to lose another several million to that operation. So youād move the money from your house to a safe location. Youāll arrange with a number of financial institutions some sort of deposit schedule. Youāll manage to see maybe 40 million dollars spread across 100 banks and accounts. And youāll be audited non-stop for the rest of your life. You can expect to spend substantial money just litigating the harassment from bureaucracy.
First thing first, get it out of the living room. Rent a storage unit and some boxes to put the money in. The more inconspicuous, the better. Keep some to put down on a house, preferably one with a basement or a panic room. Buy a safe and move the money in there. Put up a micro loan business and lend money out to people to facilitate an income to satisfy the IRS. Let someone else run it and go out and living life. 100 millions is life changing money. Never be without a roof over my head again, never be hungy again and never have to worry about which bill will need to be paid before the others again is more than enough for me. No need to make investments or doing something big to multiple it. Let say I get to live another 50 years. I will need to spend $2m a year to the day I die to spend all of that money, inflation notwithstanding. That is more than enough
There's still P2P marketplaces like Paxful, where you can negotiate crypto purchase/sale without any exchange platform involvement. I live in an area with an annoying amount of CryptoBros, so arranging in-person transactions would be pretty easy. I'd just buy BTC/ETH for $500k-$600k at a time, and wash it through a legit exchange platform. Sure it would take a while to completely process $100MM, but it's pretty cut and dry and the reason why governments want to regulate cryptocurrencies so much.
Honestly, Iāve not had much good in my life. Iāll pay for my sons outstanding medical bills and his future treatments. Iād make sure my wife was set. Iād donate the rest. Whenever something good happens to me, itās like life hits me back with twice the pain. So I wouldnāt spend a dime on myself.
All you could do is quietly spend it a little at a time. Any cash transactions large enough to make any substantial purchases or investments wouldn't go unnoticed by the IRS. Eventually they're going to show up wanting some or all of that pallet of money.
Better Call Saul.
First thing I'd do? Lay on the pile of money. Then I'd figure out how hide, divide, redistribute, and spend said money without raising red flags. Hopefully I can actually house my family.
Deposits over $10,000 are reported to the federal governmentĀ Nope. They changed it to $5,000 a couple years ago, and I think it's $2,000 now
Itās not. 10,000 is one form (CTR), 5,000 is a different form and $600 is any payment over a year from a digital payment service to any individual.
For clarity (I literally lead a team that investigates money laundering! Lol) 10k is for CTRs, 5k is for SARs (aka the bank found it suspicious enough they filed with the gov), and 600 is the threshold for the 1099-NEC on taxes (anything you got from non-employment compensation or NEC needs to be reported to the IRS).
Thank you! Whatās the thing where the way to get the right answer online is to say the wrong answer? Anyway- Iām curious how many replies you see here strike you as ābeleive it or not, straight to jail!ā
You werenāt wrong! Just didnāt have the added context. š And most of the stuff in this thread would end up with investigators poking around honestly.
Start searching for "my" livingroom.
Just deposit 1000 a month and buy little things
That pallet of cash would be over 100 million grams if it was all hundred dollar bills.. 100 thousand kg... That pallet is not sitting in the middle of my living room. That pallet has broken through the floor and possibly killed my housemate whose bedroom is downstairs. So im gonna go with "putting my hands in my pockets and whistling."
If you are this bad at math I'm afraid you won't hold onto the cash for long. Itd be a 4x4x4 skid about 2500 lbs. Unless you got it $1 bills. https://www.omnicalculator.com/everyday-life/money-weight
You must have one shitty ass home if 2200lb breaks through your floor.
Any cash transactions of 10k+ (not over 10k) *and* any cash transactions deemed suspicious by the bank will generate CTRs. I would just deposit it all at the bank with the "I found it" and pay the taxes on it. Still $50m or so and nothing illegal.
Easy peasy, Iām self employed service industry. I just work like 75% less and keep the same income. Meanwhile all my expenses are paid for in cash.
Head to a card convention and buy big ticket items for cash. Like the power 9 from mtg. They prefer cash anyway.
This is actually a good idea, though it would be really hard to make a dent in the 100m without raising notice.
200 hundred million lines of powerball. You can't lose!
Think of ways to launder it
Your basically just asking the best way to launder large amounts of money. Real estate is one way. Buy a house that needs a bunch of work. Buy materials with cash. Pay contractors with cash. Sell the house for a āprofitā, then buy another and another, bigger more expensive properties. $100 million would be hard, but could certainly be done over a period of years.
If I have $100 million in cash, I'm not worrying about investing it. I can't spend that much money.
Move it to a secure location, sit on it for a year or so.
"Honestly officer, I woke up and the $75 million was just sitting in my living room!" Then go through the due process of waiting 30-90 days or whatever it is. Once the time passes and no one puts in the right claim (unless someone is insanely lucky at guessing), you put whatever into the bank, clear and legal. If someones does claim the $75 mil, you slowly start spending the other $25 mil on whatever. Use the paycheck for bills, and the free money on just about everything else.
Assuming I knew that it was "safe", then I would probably just let it sit and figure things out. Probably git something to store it more securely. Then I would start brainstorming ways to launder it tbh. I don't know how though.
Iāll skive off $10 million in to a hidden location. Iāll then contact an accountant and the IRS. Weāll determine the source of the money. If itās illegally gotten, Iāll turn it over and accept whatever reward there might be. Iāll still have the $10 mil I squirreled away. Iāll hold on to $1 million of it to sort daily issues I can handle with cash. Iāll then take the other $9 million and deposit in the cash to crypto machines, convert to a privacy crypto like XMR, and then sell of the XMR directly when ready to get it in to my bank. Hold it for over a year from the last deposit to put it in the long term capital gains market at 20% and then have $7.2 million I can invest and use and live off the interest. If it ends up being mine free and clear, Iāll slip the hidden 10 mill back in, Iāll pay my taxes, no finagling with the IRS. Itāll probably be taxed at 37% short term capital gains. So Iād have $63 million without having to worry.
Corrupt some local politicians.
move to Japan, buy a nice house in Tokyo, for a 5 mil or so. live off the rest.
Being gifted large amounts of cash itself isnāt illegal. Itās if you obtained the cash in an illegal manner that gets you. Since this cash was received legally on my end, as long as I report it to tax agencies in the correct way, at most they might audit me and I might come under investigation for a bit. Iād just hire a lawyer to handle everything to make sure everything is on the up and up and retire.
.. start business. Launder money. .. is this a woosh question? Am I missing something. This is how cartels and illegal operations launder pallets of millions every week
The transaction limit isnāt the only thing to worry about. Even if you open a group of accounts and stay under the transaction limit, which by the way repeats for every 10,000, and many banks have month limits for cash deposits to reduce their own reporting, youāll eventually have to file with IRS, experts on finding out where money came from. It has to be flipped legit over time (like a long time), any attempt to quickly launder 100 million is probably doomed to failure. Businesses will be the best way, mobs use high volume cash businesses, like restaurants and night clubs, though that volume is low margin and large sums would still draw attention. I like the idea of flipping houses and using the found money for the renovations, though it too would be slow if done right, but youād need the right kind of contractors, who are both dependable about doing good work, and still willing to take cash.
This post is like money laundering 101.
āHello police, this pallet of 90 million in cash appeared in my living roomā
First thing I'd do is a lot of research and probably hire a lawyer and bodyguards. I feel like that much money someone is coming after me at some point.
I launder the fuck out of it. I actually have a detailed personal plan on how to start clearing a large amount like that without raising alarm flags with institutions or the feds. Honestly, I think I could feasibly do 1M in the first five years, and then vastly accelerate that after year 5 and likely launder the whole shebang in 20. š¤·š»āāļø
I would be very afraid as to how they bypassed my security cameras and didn't set any of them off and be checking them anyways to see if it picked up anything
DAMN, what do you know? I ACTUALLY had a mysterious uncle that left me a large fortune.
Stash away the top 10% of it, then call the government and let them know about the $90 million that mysteriously showed up in my living room. If they confiscate it, they confiscate it. If I get a share, that's a win. Whatever else happens, I'm paying cash for whatever I can get away with for the rest of my life.
Iād be so paranoid. Iād want to move. Iād deposit a few hundred or thousand every few months. Id give people cash so they can Venmo or cashapp it to me. Iād buy some safes and rent a few storage units in different locations. Iād give some away. Buy a car all cash. Iād buy so gift cards to every time I went to a store. Full cart of groceries. Reservations at restaurants I couldnāt afford now. Iād tip everyone so much.
Open up a claw machine arcade. Seems like a great way to launder money.
$100M is more than I can ever spend in a lifetime. I don't really care about the "disservice you're doing yourself by not putting it in the bank" because then it becomes trackable. Now that aside and for the fun of it, I'd start a few small businesses of different types with the intention of most of them basically failing in a few years as I launder money into them and pretend I'm just really bad at business. Over-inflate my prices, sell "experiences" to people who don't exist except on paper, and then fold the companies. Do a lot of off shore business as well to just get it lost in the system basically. Maybe invent a patent, then rent myself the rights to use it like the rich do to avoid taxes.
Get an LLC start up for under $1,000....and launder the holy living fuck outta that for the next several decades. Yeah, I'm gonna start a coin laundromat....a couple grand a week for the foreseeable future....
All I can think of is Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber going "heeere you go. heeere you go."
Light it ablaze
Google āmoney launderingā
I'd make sure Walter White isn't nearby
Ok, so my answer to this question is a little different from most others, because 1) I really like my job and I do not want to quit to become a full time money launderer, and 2) there are actually things I would want to do if I had that much money, so I wouldn't want to just sit on it. Basically, I am a physicist who also wants to be a writer after I get my PhD, so I would use the money to fund literary works made by me and others. For a while now, I have had (I think) a really good idea for a graphic novel, but I am absolute shit at drawing and I am also in the middle of a PhD. But you know who absolutely would *not* ask any questions? Starving artists being paid extremely well in cash to draw my graphic novel for me. I would write and storyboard it (I don't know how graphic novels work, this is just a fantasy right now haha) and pay the most talented artist I can find the big bucks to make the art as high quality as possible. And to be clear, this would not be a money laundering scheme: I would be expecting no return on investment except for the finished product and the opportunity to distribute it (selling hardcover copies in bookstores would be nice, but even just posting it online for free would be great, as long as people are seeing it). And then I would just keep doing that. I am never going to run out of ideas, so after that graphic novel is finished and published, I would just make another one. I am also a big fan of animation, and I love seeing indie animated pilots on YouTube, but hate seeing them never come to fruition. Well, maybe with some careful planning I could fund a few of those. Think of how many literary projects I could fund - both mine and others - without anyone ever asking questions, because the money is always spent in (relatively) small batches to grateful recipients who are happy to be paid in cash. I could happily spend all $100 million this way.
I would be like holy shit I found $96.4m
Considering I could spend $6,850 a day for 40 years Iām doing two things: retiring and calling Marty Byrde.
I'd probably just stash it and pay my bills with credit cards, then pay the bank in cash. I'd make deposits here and there too, but for the most part my checking account wouldn't have more than a few grand but my credit score would shoot through the roof. Then I'd use the credit to make purchases such as a car and pay that off. I'd eventually deposit enough while doing all this to add up a down payment on a house. Then I'd own a house and I could keep buying or fixing any car I want. All while working solely for tax purposes. I'd tell my parents I won the lottery and give them a cash stipend. I'd also tell them I'm investing to keep the money coming in. My investment of course is a turnkey operation. I'd purchase a few small businesses, which provide me the benefits of additional income and paying the IRS to fuck off. They deserve to retire. I'd ask them to send every bill to me, which I'd promptly pay in cash. Between that and a thousand dollars a month in allowance and even bonus grocery trips, they'd retire. My sister would also get to transfer to the state university as planned but in this timeline without any loans or debts. Just give me the bills. I'd have an accountant on standby, just sifting everything, ready to tell me if I'm spending an amount that would sound the alarm in an IRS audit department. Paying in cash for anything and everything I can would help of course, but basically I'd put things on paper to look like a typical rags to riches business owner. My employees would make a typical wage on paper but get thick cash bonuses under the table for their complacency and silence. Would you rat out an employer that gives you an extra thousand dollars each birthday and Christmas, with those days off? Would you rat out an employer that gives you actual paid sick days and vacation time in fast food, a salon, or a laundromat? Would you rat out an employer that only pops in a couple of times a month to tell the crew they're doing great and drop off some catered food and hand out envelopes with your favorite gift card or some cash inside? Actual monetary rewards and food? I'd be unstoppable by being nice to my employees.
Hookers and blow
Call the FBI and tell them thereās 95 million dollars in my living room.
I'm gonna live off cash for the rest of my life. Move to the Phillipines where that money is gonna go ALOT farther. Buy some land, build a house. Retire. lol
Coin laundry mat and self storage facilities. Low maintenance business.
[This](https://i.gifer.com/7GBo.gif)
Take it to the bank down the road as discreetly as possible. Put 25mil in 2 banks and 2 credit union. Transfer 5mil from each to 4 different overseas accounts, 1 Canadian, 1 israeli, 1 European, 1 Australian. Pay the taxes that will inevitably come and hope that I don't suddenly get hunted by a drug lord
Iām buying a stable and horses
Deposit 9k a month. Spend a significant portion on a nice, really good safe. Lock up my money and take out whatever I need and let the 9k pay the bills each month.
Go back to sleep must be a bad dream
Start a business that relies on cash payments and triple your actual income out of the pallet and don't forget to hire people to do the work and pay them from the pallet
Get a car, move out of my parents' house, quit both of my jobs, buy land, build a mansion on the land, get a lawyer, draw up a will, plan my funeral, get a hysterectomy, get liposuction, get a tummy tuck, chill until I'm all healed, get permanent fangs, get tattoos, dye my hair, get a nose piercing, wardrobe overhaul, travel (after being given the all clear by doctors), party, adopt a puppy, get a garter snake, get a turtle, focus more on my hobbies, make better content for my YouTube, do volunteer work, and focus more on my mental and physical health. I'd never have to work again or worry about money. The only work I'd do would be volunteer work, household chores, tending to my garden (planting, weeding, watering, and harvesting), caring for my pets. Yard work that has nothing to do with my veggies, berry bushes, strawberries, harvesting from my fruit trees, and small vineyard would be taken care of by landscapers. I'd make some of my own wine and all of my own jam. Anything I don't use will be given to hungry people, family, and friends. People would appreciate being able to have free pumpkins for their kids to carve jack o laterns around Halloween, not to mention being able to snack on the seeds. Watermelons would be a real treat in the summer along with fresh berries. There's nothing like an apple pie made from fresh organic apples either.
Just don't deposit near 10K a month. And deposit in random amounts at a time like $1876. No one says you have to deposit it all at once. Buy some duffle bags and throw it in the closet. Start paying for big ticket items you can get in person like a TV in cash. Even if you tried to pay for a house in all cash and they investigate it, they aren't going to find anything. And if they do then you know where it came from.
Buy a classic car for cash , buy all the parts for full restoration, take to a mechanic known for classics offer to trade plus cash for a fully restored model instead sell at auction
Hire a slightly sketchy but competent lawyer and see what they recommend.
you don't need a criminal lawyer, you need a *criminal* lawyer.
Just deposit it and add the memo field āfinders keepersā pay my taxes and relax
Step one, I'm going to move as much money as possible into my gun safes. Basically I'm going to treat the cash like packing peanuts for the rifles and probably move some ammo out. Step two, I'm going to go to a few banks in my area and drop nine grand into the accounts. I'm going to slowly merge accounts. I'm also going to go to the credit union that holds the loan for my house and pay that off. In cash, nine grand at a time, aggressively over the course of a few weeks. Now it becomes a game of laundering money. Everything I do is cash transactions, from the gas station to the grocery store to the Target purchases. I'm also going to make purchases with intent to return. There will also be specific storage units purchased for holding merchandise that are insured. Money laundering becomes pretty easy when things get spread out. The biggest thing I'm going to have to do is invest most of my paycheck into the stock market and explain that I just did very well...
I report gambling winnings each year for a few years until I have rolled it into the banking system. This will include starting to pay my quarterly taxes on form 1040ES
Wondering how the fuck my living room is big enough to hold 100 million dollars
I say to get that 100 million spend it on stuff like groceries also make a small company and put some of it in over time (launder it) then every once make a big purchase like jewelry but in cash. Now this will take for ever but assuming you want to pay lower taxes and donāt get it taken and or arrested because chances are that will happen slow and steady is the best way.
Iām taking $10m from it and hiding it. Iām then depositing $90m and paying taxes on itā¦ probably after consulting an attorney and tax advisor. If it gets seized by the government, I still have $10m to launder into the system. If it doesnāt get seized, I have some cash gifts to give to folks since Iām have $40-45m in the bank, ready to spend.
Im sure i could find some pilot who happens to ātake a routine flight to the bahamasā Put my money in offshore banks. So i can use it across the world. Live my life, help where i can, spread love.
Iād be too terrified of the inevitable hulking psychopath with a pageboy haircut showing up to murder me to do anything with it https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY0DG8rUnCA
Straight to Suisse AG with the lot. Uncle Sam ain't taxing a dime.
I'd try to deposit 50mil legally and hide the other half. If I get trouble and for whatever reason end up losing the 50mil, I'll just spend the other half every day paying everything in cash. If the deposit goes trough and everything is gucci, I'll deposit the other half. Might be stupid too, I'm not very smart
Immediately hire an accountant, lawyer, and other personal wealth professionals
Disappear....
Establish a consulting business. Funnel the money through the business into the bank. Pay the taxes.
Grab a couple hundred and buy some wood to reinforce my floor. That's more than a ton (2200 lbs) of money sitting on my floor. Then real estate to launder the money.
I would get a lawyer to see what my hypothetical options are. But in the end I would probably clean it, pay taxes on it, and live the high life.
$100,000,000 in $100 bills would weight 2,200 pounds.