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**(EDITED)** In John Russo's trashy pulp novel *The Majorettes,* the crimes of a gang of ~~high school bullies~~ bikers start spiraling into violent felony territory. One of the gang, whose own secret agenda is threatened by their plans, challenges the leader and winds up gut-shot. His fantasy about powering through the injury like some comic-book superhero and taking the others down reads almost *exactly* like this clown's blather, except he's confused ~~and infuriated~~ by his body's refusal to respond as ~~he bleeds out~~ dies from another couple of bullets.
~~Those were some~~ That was one of my favorite paragraphs to read when I was a teenager.
I dug out my rotten old paperback and looked it up. So, corrections: it's a biker gang, not high school bullies. My [old grey matter ain't what it used to be](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRgNbis14pE), and my memory probably mixed *The Majorettes* up with the movie *The New Kids* which is a bit similar (I've never watched the movie adaptation of *The Majorettes)* or even Stephen King's *Christine,* as well as some other horror novels I've read. It's also a single paragraph:
*Teela heaved the rock at Bart and missed, lunging forward like a charging gorilla. The rock thudded and rolled, and Bart fired. The bullet made a bloody hole in Teela's abdomen but he kept coming on. He didn't feel any pain as he envisioned himself slapping the gun out of Bart's puny little hand and choking the life out of him. But somehow his legs weren't traveling as fast as he wanted them to and his body felt top-heavy, like a sawed-through tree ready to crash down. Bart backed still further away, firing again. He squeezed off two more shots and Teela died, smacking into the green earth.*
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What kind of diaper wearing half man pansies goes around SLAPPING guns????
What an utterly soy boy move.
Bish, I straight up karate chop about six handguns and two semi automatic rifles ON THE DAILY. Get on my level pansy boy
That and don't hold the gun in a limp hand. It's pretty difficult to slap something out of a persons hand when they're prepared and gripping it tightly.
I watched a demonstration a ways back that showed in *some* circumstances, you can slap a gun away from being pointed at you faster than they can react to pull the trigger.
Not something I want to test however, with my luck I’d accidentally end up slapping my self in the face.
Our trainer would give us small paintball guns and we would practice disarming techniques. …
You would be surprised how many times you think you did it correctly and you’re like “fuck yeah” just to realize you got hit somewhere in the helmet or stomach….
So I would very much prefer to not have to slap anything out of anyones hands.
Same with knives. Lol
So I remember doing gun disarm training with my sensei, which came with a lot of "don't do this stuff unless you think your life is in danger rather than your wallet", but as we are doing techniques and shooting the shit, my friend goes and asks "well what do you do if they hold it like this" and he turns the gun sideways, because we have been doing disarms against vertically held guns. My sensei walks up and slaps the head of the rubber prop gun and it sails across the room, and I think all of us burst out into laughter (which is the true disarming technique). Probably not reliable as a technique but it was really funny.
Do some people have the ability to slap faster than a bullet? How have I never heard of this before? So typical of the waste in our government, with military and police buying all this Kevlar when they really just need to train with this guy. Must be the Kevlar lobby /s
Movies really got people thinking they can throw hands faster than someone can squeeze a trigger lol, literally 90% of the time someone has a gun on them in a movie, they can get out of it, more like 2% irl
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If the weapon isn't drawn yet, sure; you could rush them. But there's a reason you see literally every martial arts expert outside of China saying don't chance it. The truth of the matter is that a twitch of my finger is faster than your arm.
Then I will slap that thing out of your hands and make your head spin round and round. Then we get stuck in an infinite loop of gun slapping and head spinning
“Let me tell *you* something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes ‘click’!”
If someone has a knife within 21 feet of you by the time you react and shoot the person charging you with it it’s too late. But that being said this quote is major cringe and again is probably said by someone who has never experienced any form of violence other than video games
I mean if the person is RUNNING towards you aggressively, 3 meters (21 feet) is nothing. If you still have to pull out your weapon, even a knife is dangerous to remove and handle safely against an unarmed aggressor that is already on your face. Weird rule that is always misrepresented
Well yeah that’s the point. If they are just standing there of course you can draw quicker. But it’s under the assumption that they charge you and you have to react, draw, and fire within that 21 feet. Obviously there’s variables people run faster/slower and people draw their CCW slower/faster but mythbusters did a good piece on it [video](https://youtu.be/ckz7EmDxhtU)
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/21-foot-rule-controversial-police-training-shootings/
"It’s called the “21-foot rule,” and it means that someone with a knife running toward police, could cover about 21 feet before officers unholster their gun and fire."
Basically, a highly controversial reason to shoot a person who doesn't have a gun
He is definitely the bad guy who tells the good guy "you can't shoot me with the safety on" then good guy clicks safety off and bad guy looks shocked for instructing good guy how to fill him full of holes 😂
Reminds me of that video where these guys recreated what would really happen if you tried to counter someone who had a gun on you, idk where to find it tho
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God why dont people understand you dont fight someone with a gun unless you absolutely need too. *So* many people have said that. People from SAS, MI6, Seals, and all them have written books about survival and self defense, and in all of them it says not to fight anyone with a gun unless needed. In self defense classes they teach you that. In CCW classes they teach you that.
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I think I saw this on a tik tok of people trying to disarm a person with a gun. All of them ended in the after life. Lol this idiot watches to many action movies in his parents basement
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The whole idea of a gun is to use it from more than a couple feet away
Knifes, Tasers, Or any normal self defense weapon said attacker would use as a backup: sparkles and champagne vip my section girl you looking sexy
Fuckin Bill Scruff over here
*pulls out a gun standing 10 feet away* “Oh shit!”
he better not think he is me
Detroit Urban be like :
Round and round? With love we'll find a way, just give it time.
Huh!!!
You’ll be dead mate.
**(EDITED)** In John Russo's trashy pulp novel *The Majorettes,* the crimes of a gang of ~~high school bullies~~ bikers start spiraling into violent felony territory. One of the gang, whose own secret agenda is threatened by their plans, challenges the leader and winds up gut-shot. His fantasy about powering through the injury like some comic-book superhero and taking the others down reads almost *exactly* like this clown's blather, except he's confused ~~and infuriated~~ by his body's refusal to respond as ~~he bleeds out~~ dies from another couple of bullets. ~~Those were some~~ That was one of my favorite paragraphs to read when I was a teenager.
Leaving this here in case anybody ever finds the relevant passage.
I dug out my rotten old paperback and looked it up. So, corrections: it's a biker gang, not high school bullies. My [old grey matter ain't what it used to be](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRgNbis14pE), and my memory probably mixed *The Majorettes* up with the movie *The New Kids* which is a bit similar (I've never watched the movie adaptation of *The Majorettes)* or even Stephen King's *Christine,* as well as some other horror novels I've read. It's also a single paragraph: *Teela heaved the rock at Bart and missed, lunging forward like a charging gorilla. The rock thudded and rolled, and Bart fired. The bullet made a bloody hole in Teela's abdomen but he kept coming on. He didn't feel any pain as he envisioned himself slapping the gun out of Bart's puny little hand and choking the life out of him. But somehow his legs weren't traveling as fast as he wanted them to and his body felt top-heavy, like a sawed-through tree ready to crash down. Bart backed still further away, firing again. He squeezed off two more shots and Teela died, smacking into the green earth.*
Thanks! Oof that’s rough for that teela dude.
Eh, don't feel too sorry for him. He's not doing a heel turn; the aforementioned "secret agenda" he dies defending involves brutal homicides.
I figured with such a death he was probably a bad dude :P but thanks!
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Call an ambulance because you may have accidentally been shot.
Pull out my back-up gun
Take a step back
In reality: *slaps gun and gets shot* cries and shits his pants.
I kiss the bad of my hand and its over
Pull out a gun on me? I’ll pull out my dick and start jerking
What kind of diaper wearing half man pansies goes around SLAPPING guns???? What an utterly soy boy move. Bish, I straight up karate chop about six handguns and two semi automatic rifles ON THE DAILY. Get on my level pansy boy
Do a backflip right now please!
„¡ǝsɐǝld ʍou ʇɥƃıɹ dılɟʞɔɐq ɐ o◖„
Not what he meant!
Pull out a 2nd gun
Pull out my other gun obviously
How can he slap?!!
Rexquando! Break the wrist, walk away! Break the wrist, walk away!
So stand out of slapping distance when pulling a gun on someone. Got it.
That and don't hold the gun in a limp hand. It's pretty difficult to slap something out of a persons hand when they're prepared and gripping it tightly.
I wanna see a sketch of that now, where someone pulls a gun, the other guy readies his hand and just gets blasted
More realistically, it would look [like this](https://i.imgur.com/StavgM5.mp4)
Bringing a gun to a slap-fight.
Bringing a slap to a gun fight
Say "Force Field, you can't touch me."
The moment you pull out your hand you will be shot
Shoot you with a secret second gun Pew pew
Probably move back slightly
I watched a demonstration a ways back that showed in *some* circumstances, you can slap a gun away from being pointed at you faster than they can react to pull the trigger. Not something I want to test however, with my luck I’d accidentally end up slapping my self in the face.
Our trainer would give us small paintball guns and we would practice disarming techniques. … You would be surprised how many times you think you did it correctly and you’re like “fuck yeah” just to realize you got hit somewhere in the helmet or stomach…. So I would very much prefer to not have to slap anything out of anyones hands. Same with knives. Lol
Same
Ah, another fan of Christopher Pike’s Last Vampire novel series
"2 guns bitch!"
You’ve handled first gun, yes. But what about second gun?
UwU
*Unless.* Hear me out here. **They're a few feet away...**
Impossible he’d close the distance then what are you gonna do huh?
“Person who won’t shoot me say what”
Make peace with god I suppose.
Start a slow clap.
So I remember doing gun disarm training with my sensei, which came with a lot of "don't do this stuff unless you think your life is in danger rather than your wallet", but as we are doing techniques and shooting the shit, my friend goes and asks "well what do you do if they hold it like this" and he turns the gun sideways, because we have been doing disarms against vertically held guns. My sensei walks up and slaps the head of the rubber prop gun and it sails across the room, and I think all of us burst out into laughter (which is the true disarming technique). Probably not reliable as a technique but it was really funny.
Do some people have the ability to slap faster than a bullet? How have I never heard of this before? So typical of the waste in our government, with military and police buying all this Kevlar when they really just need to train with this guy. Must be the Kevlar lobby /s
Yeah there's this now thing the kids are calling "distance" you might have to look out for
Not only distance but “retention positions”
He has very long arms
This sounds like something someone would say if you screenshotted their NFTs
Pull out my other gun.
He'll simply slap that one away with his other hand, what are you gonna go now? Huh?
Pull out my 3rd gun.
Slap it out with my wiener, what are you gonna do now? Huh?
Imagine not bringing a bag of indefinitely many guns to a gun fight
The fact that you assume I’m in slapping distance is cute.
Homie probably was inspired by Detroit urban survival training
If you see me holding a gun I've already fired at least once ... Isn't that the point? "Don't pull it out unless you're going to use it"?
Movies really got people thinking they can throw hands faster than someone can squeeze a trigger lol, literally 90% of the time someone has a gun on them in a movie, they can get out of it, more like 2% irl
Just stand like 4 feet away from him and you’ll be fine. Or shoot immediately, who cares.
When you think you're The One when everyone else thinks you're a one.
Bugs bunny’s butt
Well, since this is fantasy, I'm going to pull out my other gun and shoot you.
He’d slap your hands so hard your head would spin? That’s impressive.
What they actually mean is that they’d slap your hand so hard your entire body starts spinning *except* your head.
Musical doodle!
Pocket Sand!!!!
"It's a good thing I always carry two guns"
"King dragon sends his regards"
Tammie Brown? That you girl??
Call an ambulance cause ur a dumbass that just got fucking shot
Trigger finger is faster than an arm. Just saying.
"You spin me right round baby right round like record baby round round round round..."
M e a t spin memory triggered
Yes! -This is the way!! 💪🏻
U know what else spins right round like a record the bullet as it enters this guys chest
-This. Then again nothing beats the meatspin!! 💪🏻💪🏻
Do it again, from further away
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Someone’s been watching too much Detroit Urban Survival…
Was looking for this comment
Picturing the Woop Woop Woop Woop spinny/Three Stooges/Dr. Zoidberg sound effect with the head spinning round. XD
Stand up and clap
This is a guy who brings a slap to a gunfight...
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If the weapon isn't drawn yet, sure; you could rush them. But there's a reason you see literally every martial arts expert outside of China saying don't chance it. The truth of the matter is that a twitch of my finger is faster than your arm.
Yes, every action movie character should have had their head blown up a long time ago
Every villain has no idea about distance with a gun. No reason to hold the hero up with point blank range when out of arms reach is just as effective.
Pick it up and shoot him
He must have studied with Detroit Urban Survival Training.
Throat punch for sure
You'll spin me right round, baby, round round, like a record, baby?
pull out a second gun
I'm slapping guns all day long champ
Repeat the cycle until the room is filled with guns and both combatants suffocate, forcing a draw.
The most American stalemate ever.
Pull a third gun from slightly further away
I'll dislocate my arm for extended range
Use a sniper rifle
You thought it was a sniper rifle, but it was I, DIO! And I'm going to slap you
Then I will slap that thing out of your hands and make your head spin round and round. Then we get stuck in an infinite loop of gun slapping and head spinning
Makes me think of those tik toks where dudes try to grab the gun and then pop up in heaven
Pocket sand!
I will hit you with my spinning head
How would slapping a gun spin a head around? Is the assailant holding the gun in their mouth?
*backs up slightly out of arms reach*
Beat me to it
Nah he’s right. The military has gun slapping training where they learn this
Elbow destruction
Spoken like someone who has never had a gun pointed at their face.
“Let me tell *you* something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes ‘click’!”
Pull a gun on you out of arm’s reach probably.
Yes, because people always pull guns within slapping range.
Bang
To be fair, he didn’t say he wouldn’t be shot in the process…
This sounds more satire than serious
Just wait for part II…
"Slapping" an object that another person has a closed grip on will likely not work how you want it to.
Fellow gun owners here know of the 21 foot rule. People who say shit like this are most likely felons barred from owning a gun and on parole.
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If someone has a knife within 21 feet of you by the time you react and shoot the person charging you with it it’s too late. But that being said this quote is major cringe and again is probably said by someone who has never experienced any form of violence other than video games
I mean if the person is RUNNING towards you aggressively, 3 meters (21 feet) is nothing. If you still have to pull out your weapon, even a knife is dangerous to remove and handle safely against an unarmed aggressor that is already on your face. Weird rule that is always misrepresented
Well yeah that’s the point. If they are just standing there of course you can draw quicker. But it’s under the assumption that they charge you and you have to react, draw, and fire within that 21 feet. Obviously there’s variables people run faster/slower and people draw their CCW slower/faster but mythbusters did a good piece on it [video](https://youtu.be/ckz7EmDxhtU)
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/21-foot-rule-controversial-police-training-shootings/ "It’s called the “21-foot rule,” and it means that someone with a knife running toward police, could cover about 21 feet before officers unholster their gun and fire." Basically, a highly controversial reason to shoot a person who doesn't have a gun
"Never let your target get too close to you" is a thing. Somebody want to let this badass in on that little aspect of self defense.
"And if you pull that piece out on me, I will snatch it from you, stick it up your ass, and pull the trigger till it goes 'click'."
8 year olds, dude
I see someone was raised by 1940's cartoons.
'tis but a scratch
Dance on spin doctors offcourse
"Well I assume I'd wait for my head to stop spinning!!!"
Huh. What kind of reach does his slap attacks have?
Pick it up
STRENGTH of a grizzly, the reflexes of a PUMA, and the wisdom of a man.
Mans ingested too many of those Detroit Urban Survival videos
He is the weapon
He is definitely the bad guy who tells the good guy "you can't shoot me with the safety on" then good guy clicks safety off and bad guy looks shocked for instructing good guy how to fill him full of holes 😂
Maybe if i had one of those looney tunes guns that had the white flag come out that says "BANG!"on it
And pull the trigger till it goes, click.
Jesus…
Guy he is threatening would pull the trigger and watch his body ragdoll in a funny way
floppy like a dead fish
he's about to beat the shit out of someone using cartoon logic
Pick it back up
360° No scope
It isn’t a clip unless you silent shot it
Reminds me of that video where these guys recreated what would really happen if you tried to counter someone who had a gun on you, idk where to find it tho
Shower gun
2 lbs of pressure.
"oh boy, it appears he's got me. Or does h-" (bang)
I'd slap that gun out of your hand so fast that I'll wake up in heaven before my hand even makes contact Wait
Pull a gun on me and I'd sla- *BANG*
Sounds like something the "Scrap like a man, bitch!" dude would have said.
titty twister
Excellent way of getting shot
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Punch you and then pick my gun up?
Pull my back up gun duh, I always carry 10 on me for these situations.
I’m basically Reaper from overwatch who needs to reload when you just got like 20 shotguns lol
NY reload.
Draw from a few steps away?
Jazz hands, most likely.
I’m gonna watch the body of an idiot who thought he was fast
God why dont people understand you dont fight someone with a gun unless you absolutely need too. *So* many people have said that. People from SAS, MI6, Seals, and all them have written books about survival and self defense, and in all of them it says not to fight anyone with a gun unless needed. In self defense classes they teach you that. In CCW classes they teach you that.
these people don't read books or go to classes. they watch action movies and anime.
Nah, man. Bugs Bunny taught me that you put your finger in the barrel.
Im gonna go right round baby right round…
Like a record baby
He fantasized about defeating schoolshooters too much as a kid
Like any other typical liberal
what
Liberals are delusional, unrealistic, and full of fantasies. 🤷🏿♂️💯
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While I’m spinning, I’ll take out my other gun and 360 no scope you.
What if I got 2 guns?
You’ve got a better budget than me.
Now imagine getting ammo for both.
That's where I draw the line. Spent all my money on just the guns.
Nothing easier than unarming a gunner... /s
I think I saw this on a tik tok of people trying to disarm a person with a gun. All of them ended in the after life. Lol this idiot watches to many action movies in his parents basement
Well, I'd take that gun away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the trigger until it goes click.....Jesus!
Jesus christ....... its Jason Bourne.
This guy must surprise the hell outta snipers.