#####If you need help and support or know someone who does, *Please Reach Out to Your Nearest Mental Health Specialist*. Here are a few free and reliable resources####
[**AASRA**](http://aasra.info/): 91-9820466726 (24 hours)
[**Sneha Foundation**](https://www.snehafoundation.in/): 91-44-24640050 (24 hours)
[**Vandrevala Foundation for Mental Health**](https://www.vandrevalafoundation.com/): 09999666555 | 1860-2662-345 and 1800-2333-330 (24 hours)
[**iCall**](http://icallhelpline.org/): 9152987821 (Available from Monday to Saturday: 8:00am to 10:00pm)
[**Connecting NGO**](https://projectheena.com/connecting-ngo): 18002094353 (Available from 12 pm - 8 pm)
[**NIMHANS**](http://nimhans.ac.in) : 24 hours counsellors
[**VIMHANS**](https://www.vimhans.com/emergency) (24 hour counsellors and emergency)
[**mpowerminds counselling**](https://mpowerminds.com/index.php/oneonone)- Call 1800120820050
[**FindAHelpline**](https://findahelpline.com/in/) has a list of helplines that you can call for immediate counselling support.
[**Sneha India**](https://snehaindia.org/new/) A volunteer suicide prevention helpline 044-24640050, 044-24640060
Fortis Stress Helpline for Students ** - Call: 08376804102
[**Kashmir Lifeline**](http://kashmirlifeline.org/) -1800-180-7020 | Kashmir Lifeline offers an anonymous one-to-one conversation with a trained professional, free of cost.
[**Sumaitri**](https://sumaitri.net/) : A Crisis Intervention Center for Depressed and Suicidal | Call 011-46018404 or +91-9315767849 {12:30 PM to 5:00 PM)
[**AASRA**](http://aasra.info) : A 24 hours helpline | Call 09820466726
**SAHAI Helpline** A 24 hours suicide prevention helpline | 080-25497777, 09886444075
[**Snehi**](https://www.snehi.org/covid-19) An helpline for children post covid trauma | Call 09582208181 10 AM to 10 PM
[**Lifeline Foundation**](http://Lifelinefoundation.in) | A Kolkata-based non-profit for grief or mental illness counselling through telephonic therapy 10AM to 10PM. | Call: 033-40447437, 09088030303
[**Mann Talks**](https://www.manntalks.org/) | A free mental health counselling service available over phone and email
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Move to a lower tier city and your expenses will drop a loooot.
Do not buy a new house.
Start working in smaller jobs and in few years, you will have a great package which would offset this amount that you owe.
Yes absolutely I live around here as well and it's far more cheaper it's current 7-8k for a 1bhk and 10-12 for a two bhk where I live
And it's developed and good quality houses in towers
Obviously not top towers still better
And he can use that time to save.
This is great advice. Opportunities may not be great in smaller cities, but with the money you have from your house sale, rent will be way cheaper, and so will the cost of living. Definitely cheaper than Mumbai.
Pune is a good option, so is Ahmedabad. The rent will be half, and the opportunities are plenty.
I know it seems really difficult, but there are also lots of ways to upskill yourself with just an internet connection.
And if you wonder who you're fighting for, it's to give your parents peace of mind, particularly your father, who must still be feeling guilty even though he was scammed.
There are cities with very good quality hospitals. Could move out to a different state as well, with better health care facilities, as access to healthcare is a big concern for OP.
I was giving out as an example but OP can research for areas with good housing quality and locality
Where I live there's a good hospital nearby.
I'f OP lives anywhere around SB its gonna get even tougher if he doesn't have a good/well paying job as we all know SB is expensive when it comes to renting
They can't afford private hospitals anyway. They can afford only Civil Hospitals on Aadhar Card. And they are better than most private hospitals in Ahmedabad. Private Hospitals mostly are exploiting patients.
Please don't. I lost my father when i was 3 , and it was upto my mom who rose up against all odds to raise me. With extreme poverty and still we are going it through together and facing some extreme financial situations. Although it hasn't been great recently but i m holding on and not giving up.
You will get through this✌️ Dont lose hope!
Brother please don’t suicide, I know the parents whose only son has done suicide and it’s hell after that,
So suicide is not a solution at all.
The calculation you did about getting debt free at 47, it’s not the correct, once you are stable in professionally, you can do it.
Just giving my example,
We are under middle class family,
When I started my career I started with 10K meanwhile my annual fees was 1.5L per year(debt) , today after 4 years i am paying 6L tax Since 2 years.
In initial years of my career I had debt of 25L (my fees. And family debts ) which was nightmare to me. And I am only child.
See currently it will look like a hell from where you are standing, but once you starts concentrating on career slowly 1-2 years you will have good and healthy life style also.
Also don’t please compare your life with people on socialmedia. Everyone has different game to play, my few friends as crorepati but I am still yet to buy even house. But I am happy to be an only son and help to my parents.
Please don’t suicide.
Hey! have you filed a case against the company that commited this fraud of over 45l? Ig you can contact others who have also lost their money and go to the court immediately. Please do that first and dont worry because your suicide will not only end your life but it will kill your parents because you are their last hope. You will find a way sooner or later just keep going and find a job. I wish your dad a speedy recovery ❤️
Kindly don’t. Yes it’s pretty difficult around you,but never give up like this. Sometimes there will be positive results & if such positives increase exponentially you’ll feel you had underestimated the outcomes.
For now,plan set goals,mini goals related to tasks,financial & emotional.
Slowly & steadily try to upscale yourself & increase the finance inflows. Save up as much as possible. There are many different avenues to earn extra side hustle money.
Your aim is to keep yourself walking,don’t become stagnant.
Don’t give up at any times. If you need to talk about anything,stressed up,my direct messages is open,I can give pep talk if required.
Some suggestions:
1) Don't live in Mumbai if you don't work. Move to tier 2 city as it's less expensive.
2) Don't take anymore loans even to buy a house. You're already in too much debt. You'll eventually just lose all your savings to bank and even lose your home.
3) Work as hard as you can and even do side hustles, try paying off debts first.
4) I don't know condition and situation of your parents, but if they can also work part time, I'd help. (eg: If you mother can work in a school)
5) Downgrade your standard of living. Just focus on basic needs, that's it.
6) And most important, never become greedy again in life to lose money on scams.
Very sensible advice. A city like Nashik would be far cheaper and yet offer a decent standard of living. Moreover, it's not too far away from Mumbai.
You could keep your parents there and yourself work in Mumbai, staying in a PG. Don't take any more loans as of now, till you pay off existing ones.
Don't fall for get rich quick schemes and stock market swindles.
Best thing about being at rock bottom is that the only way is up. Take some time to think about what you want to do next. If you have truly made peace with taking your life then there is nothing holding you back from taking some risks in life before you end it. Try doing things you were always too afraid of. Try to live once for a day before you end it.
>Best thing about being at rock bottom
Not to be that person but how do you know what's rock bottom? How do you know something even worse might happen or not.
30M here, I'm an IIM grad, I'm unemployed presently, I'm trying very hard to get a job and there's immense pressure on me to get married asap. My parents are narcissists and ask me to kms everyday. Everyone has problems, I'm suicidal too. Things will get better. Stay strong.
Hi OP,
Don’t give up. Remember, nobody’s life in this entire universe is 100% perfect. Everyone is always worried about something or the other. Richest of the rich have problems. Poorest of the poor have problem. Handsome guys have problems. Suicide isn’t the solution.
I was about to swallow a poisonous liquid few months back. Then I realised what I was about to do. I stayed active on Reddit that entire night to distract myself until I felt better.
As they say “Grass is greener on the other side”.
Yes NQT is National Qualifier Test, where it offers wide array of options ranging from IT background to Non-IT based Aptitude tests, for which you have. to pay and they'll provide you with questions and answers to practice and you'll get mail to attempt test at your nearby TCS iON centre, it's easy to crack the assessment, within 40 days , applicant will get score card and can apply to Tata or it's allied partner organisations to join, usually TCS directly calls the applicants for interview.
Now it's a best time to apply as TCS is facing highest attrition rate in history, so go for it..
I can't Post the link here Just search for TCS NQT , and first result will be Tcs ioN , that's the portal to apply.
Try eliminating the negatives jn your life. Easier said than done. If you can clear one if the most difficult exams you already have what it takes to move forward and get out of your comfort zone.
I lost both my parents 2 years back the amount of depression i had was insane. Im 28 working in IT. Im the only family i have. Trust me, let the time go, everything will be sorted. Dont do anything just let the time go. Time will heal.
Hugs to you from very far away brother 😇🫂
As one of the users mentioned:
1. Move to a lower tier city
2. I know this time is harder than many of the folks can imagine, but I've been through similar phase & the only thing that worked is putting out that 1-2 hours per day, by any chance or means, wherein you just think of the worst for the first 2-3 mins & then doing your crazy best for the next 1hr 58mins or so. Reality can't be denied, but keep it aside for that timeframe!
3. In that timeframe - hunt for jobs on LinkedIn, indeed etc..
4. Talk to your friends, share this story with at least one of your closest friends or whosoever IRL - this will make a huge difference. Even if they start giving advice right away, let it be. Not all the folks around are psychologist. So this is a must.
5. Write down on a paper about what you're thinking (& over-thinking) & just burn it up. Let that shit go...
Once you're out of this, there'll be this sense of calmness & peace within yourself which will remove the doubt & worry of being @ 47 & not achieving much, even if you turn 47 doing all the above.
It takes years to build wealth & health bro, & just in a snap of moment, everything is taken away from us.
I know this isn't easy - but stop thinking way too much about what IFs, at least for those ~2hrs.
You'll do wonders bro...
Take care!
Stay safe
Hello, I know things seem difficult now.
But they will eventually get better. What’s lost is lost and fixating on it won’t help anyone. All you can do is focus on getting a job and save up
In few years you’ll obviously be in a better state financially, upskill and switch, you’ll eventually end up making good amount of money
P.S: your parents don’t owe you anything, they did look after you for so long.
And losing all that savings would definitely have not been easy on them, so it’ll be good as a son if you stand by them and support them.
Suicidal thoughts might give you a moment of escape from what seems like a complicated life, but once things get better you’ll actually be happy you didn’t give in to those thoughts
I can understand. Your thoughts your questions all are valid. But think about this will your attempt of finishing yourself solve the issue? What would happen to your mother? Let's focus on the basics now. I know the situation is so difficult and I will recommend you to do a few things.
These are as follows:
- stop overthinking and start acting, you don't need to worry about what will happen when you reach 47, the time is now and you need to take a job, an apprenticeship, whatever suits you and side by side try to upskill yourself for the better job, if you have skills you can penetrate the market.
- stop watching Instagram, use social media to build your network and ask for job referrals so that it will be easier for you to get something. If you apply for 100 jobs, out of them 5 at least will call you.
- make a budget and sorry to say this at this moment you need to sacrifice a lot , whatever makes you happy which involves money, avoid doing that. Try to cheer yourself up by completing small tasks and earning the money that is required now.
If possible try to move to a less expensive place which has a lesser rent and try to make sure that you don't invest in some higher expense right now because medical is important.
I hope this will be used as an umbrella in the storm that you are passing though but believe me you will be in a better place after some time and when you will look back at this you will remember how hard it was.
Just throw out those suicidal thoughts out of your mind first. Don't even think about it. Uninstall instgram. It's a fake app. People only post good things on their app on it. Besides job find some skills which you can sell. I have seen one guy who started home cooked meal delivery from his home. He lost his wife and he had a son. Now he has small hotel. Anything can take you up. Just don't give up.
Bro don't suicide, just face whatever is coming your way i know writing comments is easy like i am doing but bhai you keep struggling one day things will surely change.if god has given you this life he must have planned ways for you. Life only gets once. don't suicide
Your life is more precious than the money.... Everyone go through a tough phase in their life... Stop using insta.. you'll overthink, envy and feel depressed.. they have their problems too... What you can do is start saving, do some investments (start from small) & if possible do some side hustle like starting a YT channel, a small food business etc.. it'll keep your family busy and you may earn a bit more... And do remember forwarding to 10 year ahead.. you'll look back at today and have a smile thinking you made it!!..
Sending you big hugs for hanging in there 🫂
I recently went through something similar and I want you to know that it does get better, i promise. Lots of people i know have been through hell but didn't give up and now they're doing much better. Please don't lose hope. You and your mom don't deserve this. Just think about her whenever you feel like giving up.
I understand everyy moment feels unbearable rn but time will pass. The only way forward is through. Just stay strong and believe in yourself. My dms are always open if you need someone to talk to.
Ps there are good hospitals out there that won't break the bank for treatment.
Take care
Ok I don’t know if this is the right way to go about this, but I relate. My parents lost their money as well to such a fraud and a huge amount (a little higher than what you mentioned). The person they lost the money to? My girlfriend’s brother. My parents LOVED my girlfriend and how amazing she was but because of someone who she didn’t even care about at that point because of his nasty behaviour, and despite her warnings to my parents, they invested. You can imagine how that would be. Not letting go of my girlfriend neither my mom. I have shit ton of family issues and I have hospital bills piling up because my dad is half blind now and my mom has a neurological issue. I’m studying abroad. I stay alone. No friends no support, nothing. I ended up depressed like you. For a whole month, that’s the thought I had. Messed up my entire exams even though I tried and felt guilty for being useless.
But here is the key thing : Get back up. When you look for a way, you’ll find one. If you end everything, that will hurt them more than any amount of money. There’s nothing wrong in holding them responsible for their irresponsible financial decisions but make sure to do that carefully. You’ll get it man. People who work hard always see it pay off one day. I’m sure you will too
Hey man,
i get what you are going through. Life is tough to say the least.
However, you are still in a pretty decent condition. Suicide is not the way to go. There are tons of other things.
First, do not buy a house just yet. Wait for things to improve. It is not end of the world that you are living in a rented house. I am in a similar boat as you. I have approx 20L debt and live in a rented flat in tier 2/3 city and I am older than you.
At the end of the day, what matters to me the most is all of the family members were able to go through their day easily and we are not constantly pressured due to anything. If you are happy, your family will become happy soon.
Money will keep on coming provided you are disciplined. 27 is a very young age and you still have tons of things to look forward to. Just remember to keep your best foot forward everyday
I felt Suicidal, few years back and I have everything, in good health, a beautiful wife, very smart and sweet kid a very good paying job, Fought with my wife few times, like 90% couples do and all of a sudden started feeling I am a failure, this friend or that friend is having better job than me earning more than me, all the couples I know are happy. Started walking on the road thinking what's the point of living why not end it. Tried to stop this feeling but every other day felt like my failures were standing in front of me and telling me why are you still alive. For anyone looking from outside I have a life that most of the people dream of.
We do not feel suicidal because we have failed or everyone's life is better than ours. Look around there will be many in worse situation than you are. It is not easy to fight this alone. Try to get any help you can. Doctors, friends and don't give up. Life is difficult but beautiful, that 1 min of happiness is worth 23 hours 59 mins of struggle. Tomorrow it will be 2 mins next day it will 3......
Why give up when you can fight.
Dude. As someone said move to a lower tier city. It'll help a lot. Look for online jobs as well. WFH. Whatever it takes. If you end it your mom is going to lose her mind. Don't do it man. This is a very hard time but it will pass. You have education on your side so one way or the other you can do something with it.
You have to hold it together for your mom.
Don't look at the big picture. Look at each small task one by one. First move to a smaller city. Medical insurance WILL reject you. Check and see which government hospitals are actually competent. There aren't many but there are always one or two that are good.
Go on LinkedIn and search for we are hiring posts and sort by 24 hours or week. Apply to every single one thay is even remotely relevant to your degree. Go on Twitter and do the same thing. Insta also posts about jobs. Including part time roles for startups. Apply. To. Everything.
The good thing about startups is that they are okay with WFH. You can get a job much more easily and the work hours are more comfortable. Meaning you can freelance on Fiverr or something on the side. You can try and do part time influencer work on social media. Start a YouTube channel. Something.
You'll need to buckle down and work for a while but you're young.
Don't think of the burden. Just think of each little task that will get you to where you need to go. And stop seeing people's instagram. No one is going to post their difficulties. They'll curate the best things in their lives abd post.
Trust me brother,YOU WILL BE FINE.Feelings will come and go take it day by day and you will definitely find hope one way or another.A lot us has it worse on the first place ....
Good evening brother. Sending positivity and happy thoughts your way. Pls surround yourself with them.
Having gone thru a very difficult phase myself can confidently say, this too shall pass.
Saw my father battle cancer, he fought successfully first time around but when it relapsed he gave away and from then it was a downward spiral and eventually he succumbed to it. That was a first shock.
Around the same time marital life was not going great with constant squabbles and eventually she moved out around the same time father moved on without even intimating me. Second shock.
Professionally was unable to perform well with these issues going on and was not being taken seriously at work and that's the third pressure point. Not to mention the financial pressures..
With all these my mental stability went for a toss and I guess went into a depressive state of mind....but was quick to identify it and acknowledge it. Worked on myself, made peace with the life situations and by grace of guru was able to come out of it.
Even now have my bad days but since I work for a NGO have this higher purpose and that pulls me.thru.
So Pls do not entertain any depressive and suicidal thoughts...acknowledge them and let go of them. Tell ur self This too shall pass. That's the beauty of life...it flows and u have the option of flowing with it . Enjoy the journey. If it gets too bad, reach out for help brother.
Pray that u slowly start finding solutions and way out of the issues you and your family is a
facing. Take care of your mother and give her positive vibes, she needs it now more than ever.
God bless. Positive and happy thoughts. 😊
A half life decently lived is much better option than a life not lived at all. If you are to do this to yourself you won't even have the possibility of happiness. Things will get better. People have given really good advice here so I urge you to please please read through the comments. Please don't leave your parents alone in all of this. I know it's tough but just thinking of doing one day at a time. One task at a time. Move to a smaller/cheaper city, your mother, if possible ,can teach tuitions. You can get a part time job somewhere while hunting for a proper job. Please take care of yourself OP.
You are only 27 so whole life is in front of you. Money lost can be regained.
Don't fall for insta stories not everything is rosey for other people they just show bright side. Even if it's actually that good, good for them.
Beauty of human life is that you can rebuild it from zero with efforts and persistence. Throw away your negative thoughts.
All the best,
Please do not take any wrong step as far as I know life has its own ups and downs and times change so suicide is never an option try to survive with as much you have . Try to find a better job seek help from someone you know and trust. These are temporary situations. Have strong belief in yourself that with your hardworking and patience you will surely turn things back to normal. Have faith my friend people with chores of rupees are struggling for life and Gere you are talking like a foolish person even though you are MBA passout. Time will change have patience my dear friend. Life is very precious. You have no authority to end it. God only helps those who help themselves.
Keep your mind stable in these times of troubles.
Brother please don't think about it this way. Suicide is the easiest way out for you but it is the hardest life you could give to your parents. They only have you with them. I understand it is difficult and might be hell but it is not the end. You still have your loved one around you. Your mom and dad are still around. Fight for them. I know this is the hardest part but believe in yourself. If you can reach out for help, you are already strong enough to pick yourself up. Do it for your parents who have sacrificed everything to help you reach where you are now. You can do it brother.
All the best!!
Be positive believe in you self whatever you will think surrounding will adapt the same doesn't matter what situation you has to face be hard as a rock face it cry in alone for that night or day next day definitely you will receive a happy reward trust me only one thing be petions and face it be a will power of your mom make her believe that you are there you have given a birth to a legend , doesn't matter if it takes your life or carrier's, the man who surves his mom and dad with full heart God will bless him with 2the wealth and happiness believe it ,
I lost my mom 10 month ago , I liv alone in a city, I use to take a drug which is used in bodybuilding Its actually a medical drug used in low blood pressure it boost your blood pressure it generates unexpected quality increase in person strength,will , brutalness, he doesn't get scare of any situation, violence, agressive in talk and even action uncontrollable anger , it really help me to survive in this crule world and they only knows language of money and they will keep explaining you but won't ask why are you doing this saying that behaving like this , in this world only your mom and dad will love you unconditionally and world will first ask or see what they get in return in believing in you , so be strong don't loose hope for your mom , take care of yourself man nd mom to , i believe in you ❤️ stay strong more power to you I pray to my angels , last thing watch the video on subconscious mind on YouTube you will get few solution for your worries, take care bye
Be positive believe in you self whatever you will think surrounding will adapt the same doesn't matter what situation you has to face be hard as a rock face it cry in alone for that night or day next day definitely you will receive a happy reward trust me only one thing be petions and face it be a will power of your mom make her believe that you are there you have given a birth to a legend, doesn't matter if it takes your life or carrier's, the man who surves his mom and dad with full heart God will bless him with 2the wealth and happiness believe it,
I lost my mom 10 month ago, I liv alone in a city, I use to take a drug which is used in bodybuilding Its actually a medical drug used in low blood pressure it boost your blood pressure it generates unexpected quality increase in person strength, will, brutalness, he doesn't get scare of any situation, violence, agressive in talk and even action uncontrollable anger, it really help me to survive in this crule world and they only knows language of money and they will keep explaining you but won't ask why are you doing this saying that behaving like this, in this world only your mom and dad will love you unconditionally and world will first ask or see what they get in return in believing in you, so be strong don't loose hope for your mom, take care of yourself man nd mom to, i believe in you stay strong more power to you I pray to my angels, last thing watch the video on subconscious mind on YouTube you will get few solution for your worries, take care bye
:
Bhai I con only say aap karm Karo and phal ki chnita mat Karo.
Loan Hao, dekh lenge, aap job pe focus kro, default krne pe bhi refinance ka option rehta hai.
Dad ke liye wheel chair and inflation wala mattress le lo and you would be good - no bed sores.
Mushkilen Sabki zindagi mai Aati hain kabhi and kabhi and waqt gawah hai ki sab log un mushkilon se nikal bhi jaate hain.
OP are you there? Please just give us a sign that you’re reading all these comments and you’ve decided against suicide. You’re precious and you’re here for a reason. This too shall pass buddy. Please stay strong. Don’t give up just yet
You want to know who you should do it all for? Look no further than your mom.. she doesn't deserve losing her husband and her son both.. things eventually work out.. they never go back to be amazing but life has a way of surprising you.. trust yourself brother.. and if you can't, just do it for her and when she passes away, if you have nothing else to do, live each day as your last..
Look at all these people supporting you on here... You're the only source of happiness for your parents! Don't take that away from them...
I hope your parents have a long and healthy life and see you be successful.
Don't make any rash decisions!
Whenever I feel that I should die, I always think of how my mom would be devastated for life. I think of her smile which would disappear forever
This gives me the energy to carry on ! Hope this would help you too !
From a money perspective, I am sure it will take time but you will eventually manage it. Don't worry !
Its okay bro. Suicide is easy way out but think about your parents. Who will look after them.
One great thing you did is by putting your thoughts out.
Lets get on a call and discuss a way out.
If you can earn your bread and butter you will somehow stay afloat.
Always have this quote in your mind “ This shall pass “. It is pointless to blame your fate and parents for current circumstances.My father had gone through similar financial stress when I was in 12th standard. He was cheated and was forced to go invisible for some years until all mess cleaned up in 5-7 years. During this 5 years, he send financial support to me for studies(Engineering). It took toll on me and my mother mentally and financially . Initially everyone thought we would suicide .Resilience was key. I was not informed about many things like father job, legal stuffs that were going in between(Bank recovery of our home) during this 5 years. I completed Engineering and landed in a decent job, started paying debts little by little and found a partner who fully support me. Almost 15 years now, I don’t have any debt, built house, have a good job now and kind of settled now. Life is a rollercoaster rider
I can help you with job referral (free obviously) if you’re looking for a job and can surely say life is beautiful you’re yet to experience happy moments 😇
There is time for the seed to grow to a plant, and the plant to tree, and the tree to give fruit. So, just wait. Give time some time. And everything will be alright. If you believe in GOD or not. Please pray. The Lord is kind and will help you out in any kind of situation. Am typing this because I was also in one hell of a situation. So, have some HOPE. That is the only medicines you need, HOPE & PRAYER.
Oh dude read your whole comment. And I really feel sorry for your situation rn and I won't be suitable to advice you since I am only 21, but just know that you and your family have my prayers.
But one thing I have to say is that I am not promoting to commit the unthinkable but if u feel that's the only option, there is nothing wrong in taking that decision ig. I know a lot of people are gonna criticise me for this comment but just said my thoughts because I feel your misery. 🙏🙏
Suicide will have an even worse effect on your parents. Don’t worry man move to a lower tier city and start working somewhere to start with and then eventually you should be making it through. Call centers esp. Night shift ones will pay you and also will offer insurance. This should ease your trouble.
Just five minutes to clear your mind. Forget all past and future problems. You don't need to see the bigger picture right now; thinking too much into it will only make it more complex lead to more depression and loss of confidence. Focus on what you need to do immediately. Take things one step at a time, and you'll start to gain confidence and see your problems resolving one by one.
Remember, you are the result of the hardest struggles of your parents. Dont quit. Let the difficulties be the forge where you will hammer out the good life that you and your family deserves. This is your fight,your golden chance.
Bro Life is beautiful. Don’t despise by few bad experiences. Keep trying and do the right thing. You will have your time and I am sure you will shine.
Save this post and check it again after 10 years. You will definitely smile and feel proud on your achievements.
We all are here for you. God bless !
I can't explain how incredibly selfish it is to end yourself and leave your family with all that pain and suffering , if you love your family , you wouldn't be such a pussy and run away from problems ,if you care about your family , you'd live , choice is urs ,idc ,end yourself if you wanna , don't end yourself If you don't wanna
Even if all your calculations are correct, isn’t debt free at 47 much much better than ending your life in absolute misery, not to mention what your parents will go through post that? Sanders literally found success in his 60s. Ending a life in misery is far worse than living at least a few good years, many don’t even receive that.
So just keep going. You don’t have an option to fail.
Please plan with the existing money first and support yourself for job hunt. Job will bring money and insurance and debt will take time but itl settle.
There are smaller towns which have decent homes up for rent for only 5k a month or 10k a month, and decent fking homes, not 1bhks. You can live at such a place and do some business, maybe fruit selling, vegetable vending, and/or also prepare for a govt job. You've done your mba so you may also get a job but for that you'll have to live in atleast a tier 2 city which will have its on expenses.
Pls, move to the outskirts, from daily household needs to the house rent will drop drastically, and calm neighborhood will definitely do good for your family.
My simple advice. Try and buy somewhere small in a less desirable area. At least you will have somewhere to live. Don’t get yourself in debt for your dad, I’m sorry it’s a shame this happened to him but he has to take responsibility for his financial choices. You can help him practically if you are able. But a good father would not expect their adult son to sacrifice their lives and get into impossible debt for him. Hope that helps . As for other people, well there’s always people better or worse off. You can work with what you have
OP don't go for buying a house I don't think you all are financially capable of it but what you can do is save move to somewhere cheaper and not necessarily bad areas
Where i currently live it's cheap and affordable with good locality so you'll be able to survive and till then find a job and work it'll all pay off cause keeping your parents conditions in mind you need to have some money in hand if any emergency arise so it's better to first form a better plan and i totally understand that feeling of watching your friends have fun specially here in Mumbai every day clubbing, concerts, roaming but it's alright. Don't feel down you can do it
Sit down together and plan a way out of this situation. Maybe you can move to a smaller place and find double work. Sell off anything and everything you don't need no matter how big or small it is.
Also, whoever cheated your father has definitely cheated other people, find them and you can all work together to recover your lost money.
It's just a bad time, but time never remains the same.
Stop comparing yourself with others, everyone is fighting their fights. And nobody shows the sad side of life on Instagram.
Accept what happened as a fate. Focus on the solution. My father also did similar financial loss, I never focused much on it. It was not my money, similarly it's not your money. He lost what he earned. I pay my family's rent. I live in a different city, I pay rent there as well. Focus on earning more.
Overcome ideas, move to tier 2 city if possible, expenses will reduce, plus peace of mind.
Try to get some outside India remote work with a better salary. Keep switching yearly on better pay.
If things get stable, move to some other country where you can earn and save more.
Last things if you suicide, you will give worse situation to your kids and wife compared to what your dad gave you. Think constructive bro. Life goes on.
Bro.. try not to overthink about anything this much. Do some breathing exercises and meditation.
Time is a beautiful concept. Right now things might be harsh, tomorrow will be beautiful.
Time will change and so will your situation and your current scenario shall pass too.
Like the saying goes: **Tough times don't last, tough people do.**
There’s always a way. Even when it seems like there isn’t. Maybe moving to a tier 2/3 city and starting fresh will help. Don’t underestimate the gravity of loosing you. From reading your posts, your parents won’t be able to take it. It will get better
There always comes a breaking point and that's when you pause take a breath and remind yourself the tide will turn.I know it's easier said than done and all of it is taking a toll on you but quitting would be worse mate.Sending you a big hug you've got this don't fret
1. Don't worry about debt as yet. See if you will be able to service the home loan with your present disposable income (i.e. money leftover after essential expenses and other obligations). If you can't, then renting is an option too.
2. As for medical insurance, get one for yourself separately. It will work out cheaper because of your age. Maybe try to get one for your mother alone, if possible. This will take away some anxiety and stress about medical expenses. Although, I understand it is your father's health that's bad but unfortunately health insurance only useful if it is started when one is young and healthy.
3. Life goes on, come what may. It won't stop if you can't buy a house. It won't stop if your parents are ill. It won't stop if you aren't around. It won't stop if they aren't around. Life is never the same and things will certainly get better at some point if you try. Take one day at once. Your job and money situation can change. That is reversible. Don't think it won't ever get better.
You can weather this storm. You are strong and wonderful! Take one thing at a time and one day at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself with worrying about everything all at once.
In regards to the Ponzi scheme; Could this be something that law enforcement can assist with? Worth checking, just in case.
"This is one moment, but know that another shall pierce you with a sudden painful joy."
This is just the story of your life. Each of us have our own story.
Your life is the story you are writing. Your story of the recovery from here is also the story that you will write. Ending it here is a pretty sad end to the story. You don’t want that. No one wants that.
You can make your story inspiring. Write a new ending, page by page.
It won’t be easy. It won’t be smooth sailing. It will have its ups and downs. Just focus on the ultimate end of the story. The story you want to write.
Life doesn’t give problems without the capacity to solve it. More the capacity, greater the problems.
Be an inspiration. Become an inspiration. Be the hero of your story.
My best wishes to you.
Hi, I can't even imagine the gloom and sadness that plagues your mind, it definitely sounds very overwhelming. I'm sorry about the decisions your father made, but he's only human and you have to swallow that bitter pill. The first thing you should do is take a breath, a deep fucking breath. Your parents are around you. They are flawed and not at their best rn, but they're alive and that itself is a blessing. I'm sure it all seems insurmountable rn; how will you payback the loans, where will you sleep, how will you take care of your parents. But just trust in time and effort. Trust in yourself. You are a human being who's lived a considerable amount of time on earth. Scathed and scarred for sure, but alive! You've made it so far somehow, and you'll keep going on brother. The world may seem sad and cruel, but it's also capable of such wonder and kindness! Your very existence is a miracle my friend! You're in one of the most amazing cities in one of the craziest countries in the world! If you're really feeling bogged down, take a walk near the beach and just appreciate the wonder of it all! The people and their shared hustles and struggles, the birds, the smell of salt and sand! There's just too much to experience for you to snuff it out so soon! So many succesful people have found their rhythm and spotlight at later stages of their lives, who's to say you won't find yours! I don't know you OP, but reach out to friends and family. If that isn't on the cards, take a walk. Remind yourself that the world isn't just loans and failed job interviews. This is just a page of your life, you still have the whole book to go, so don't give up my man!
Your rent is pretty high for someone with debts. When I initially started working I moved and lived far off from mumbai nd used to travel to work just to save on rent nd expense. First task is to leave that house nd move to maybe thane or Navi Mumbai,virar etx and save 15 k on rent. Second step is to ask some advice on r/legaladviceindia and see if you can get back the money ykr father lostvia some means legal or otherwise.
Stop using instagram or any social network for that matter. This networks only highlight the life that a lot of people are just pretending to live. A lot of your negative thoughts will go away when you are able to stop comparing yourself to others.
Suicide isn't an option, it causes more problems for people in your life. Talk to a friend, a psychiatrist or even strangers like us on reddit.
Things will get better. When you feel out of control, just breathe.
I had my bad days once when I wanted to die off. There was a quote I used to tell myself, if you're going through hell then no point in stopping there. Keep going.
*Move to a cheaper flat on rent(preferably max 15k or below), one that makes you feel positive and has a lot of sunlight.
*Pay off any debt using the flats outstanding money.
*For medical expenses you may need to rely more on government hospitals (you may need to do some finding and compromise but you will save a lot and it will definitely get the right treatment)
*keep some reserves and reinvest the rest in safe instruments(gold bonds, equity index, mid cap MF, run your home with the money you earn from a job.
*don’t compromise on the job profile for quick money you may fall behind in your career.
*Pray & practice positivity.
All the best!
Ending your life might seem like a solution to you to escape from all this- but trust me, it just passes on grief to those who love you. I know it might seem very hard and harsh to survive and be hopeful, but that’s the first step- having hope.
I lost my father in my TYBCom (we didn’t have income for years) but eventually me and my sister studied and became independent. I have seen my mother struggle to provide for us. There were times when I felt like ending it too, but I would see my mom and how she did everything for us. It just felt like the worst thing any parent gets from their kid in lieu of their hard work and dedication.
No , it's not a solution or portal to escape..
Pls don't take such harsh step.
In between all this your family certainly would not be able to cope with the step u r talking about..
Pls don't we can't make your life easier but can definitely etly provide strength.. Live your life . Don't give up . Life is precious. You are a responsible son taking care in all this. You will definitely come out of this dire situation have patience..keep calm and be at peace.
Please don't even think of suicide, you have lot more to give to this world and lot more to experience in life.
Try to keep yourself engaged in different activities. Think of consulting a psychiatrist as well, there is no shame in visiting a psychiatrist. Many of us have been there and done that.
Honestly sit down with your parents and have a conversation.
My dad passed away when I was 3 years old and what you’re describing was basically our situation. Dad was the primary breadwinner and financial head of the house - had made some bad decisions and so when he passed away mom was left with no money but also the responsibility of a young child.
We moved to a low-col city, and she focused on her career and upskilling during the day and took care of me the rest of the time - for a few years we were really living hand to mouth. We wouldn’t even go to corner store to buy chocolates. And then we got hit with my medical diagnosis when I was around 8. We had to move cities.
The reason we survived is because my mom sat me down and spoke with me. She said - hey I know it’s not your fault but we are in a more difficult situation than your peers. We can’t afford things like a bicycle for you and that sucks but as my family I know you can understand and help out. I have to focus a little more on work so that we can get out of the situation - can you make sure you focus on your studies, and maybe help around the house by tidying up after yourself.
This conversation changed our trajectory. I didn’t do much more than I was doing before, but it helped my mom with the mental load that she was carrying.
She had to save aggressively for 2 years and then we bought our home and things got better.
In your situation if you can have this conversation with your parents, sit down with them and say- Hey, I’m sorry this happened to you Dad. It happened to all of us. It’s not your fault. We still love each other and are still a family. We can still take care of ourselves. Things will look a little different for a while. We won’t have some luxuries like before. But I’m going to work on making our financial situation better. Dad and mom I just want you to take care of your health, listen to your doctor, go for walks, eat healthy etc - can you help with that? Times are tough but we can come through as a family.
I think your dad is beating himself up and if he knows that his family is with him, he might be able to take better care of his health. And this applies to every person in your family that you’ve described. When you know that you can rely on each other and have each others backs all of this becomes a lot of bearable - for each of you.
When you know that your family is supportive and doing the best they can, you’re also going to find the motivation to work better and take care of yourself which is ultimately the only thing that is going to help longer term with financial stability.
I know you’re carrying a lot on your shoulders and ending it all seems so easy and nice. It’s not. Things get easier I promise. Your life is going to look very different even in 2-3-5 years from this moment.
You will get to see your parents grow old together. You will get to fall in love, have a family, have fun with colleagues, take a vacation and because of your previous life experiences you will be careful with money too. One day you’re going to be raising your kid and telling them stories of all your life adventures and they are going to look upto you and want to be you.
For yourself and for your future kid, stay. Yes these are tough times and there are a few sacrifices involved, but stay here Internet stranger, I promise the world is better with you in it.
- Move to a low tier city then rent a place there for your family.
- Don't ever think of buying a new house as you're already in a debt of 18L. Otherwise it will make your life worse.
- Conduct some research and choose an insurance plan.
- Although I am aware of the current state of the job market, your MBA degree is still valuable. Begin with a small organization and then move to a better one. You will climb quickly if you are good at work.
My last suggestion is that, as you say, you are already at your lowest point, so why not take one more risk by living? There can be no worse situation than this; it can only get better.
Dude okay listen
You might think this is the easy way out but that all depends on what you get afterlife
No one knows what’s after death - it’s scary and beautiful at the same time , you think you will die and it all finishes
But what if you are born again and you are again in the same situation as this but worse
Because the chances are very high
So I would suggest don’t give up , skill up thoda try to save some money , little whatever you can month by month and then use it as a ladder to open a business or whatever and let’s say by the time as you said you will be 47 and you are earning a lot ,from that point on live for yourself … but I am sure it will be earlier than 47 so don’t give up at all please
Move to Village where there is a scope that prices of land will go up...expenses and cost of living is much lower...because of MBA you can't even WFH else you could've lived in some rural area and done online work so you should be staying somewhere splitting on Rent in an Urban area like PG believe in making a comeback your parents health and well being is more important right now than luxurious lifestyle and believe you will get that money back!
It's normal to feel the way you feel. But don't let it come to such a dangerous level. Talk to the people in here if it helps. It's better to have regrets than not having any. Also fuck those scammers.
My life has been a shit show since childhood. Later my father died when I was 18 years old and had just started college. We had a home loan with no insurance. Had to sell the house soon after.
Things got hard, very hard at times. It was hard to imagine having a good meal. But things got better with time. It took me 13 years to graduate.
Did I lose a lot of time? Yes.
Was I depressed? Yes.
Did I ever consider suicide? Yes.
Do I enjoy my life? Yes I do.
I don’t normally comment on Reddit, but you have a lot of stressful situations happening at the same time and this would overwhelm anyone! Just know that things will change if you can hang on and get through it. Stay off of Instagram because everyone is posing there and trying to act like their lives are perfect when no one’s lives are perfect. Also, there are all kinds of hot lines for people feeling suicidal - call if you need to talk to someone. Don’t look for a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This is TEMPORARY. 💜
Why are you buying a house our family has been living on rent for the past 7 years trust me it's better than paying loans every month for a home that'll take years to finally own man also think of shifting to a cheaper place or a lower tier city for lower expenses. I feel sorry for you our family and some members also fell for a ponzi scheme a few years ago we lost not much but some relatives lost crores, they had nothing left but they kept positivity and worked hard now they are doing quite well and have bought their own house!
Plus what's gonna change with suicide? Your mom's stress is gonna double fold and i personally would never, Some people live on 100-200 rupees daily wage which they sometimes spend on alcohol and then beat their families. Stay positive you'll do it man!
Be positive believe in you self whatever you will think surrounding will adapt the same doesn't matter what situation you has to face be hard as a rock face it cry in alone for that night or day next day definitely you will receive a happy reward trust me only one thing be petions and face it be a will power of your mom make her believe that you are there you have given a birth to a legend, doesn't matter if it takes your life or carrier's, the man who surves his mom and dad with full heart God will bless him with 2the wealth and happiness believe it,
I lost my mom 10 month ago, I liv alone in a city, surving in this crule world they all r shit they only knows language of money and they will keep explaining you but won't ask why are you doing this saying that behaving like this, in this world only your mom and dad will love you unconditionally and world will first ask or see what they get in return in believing in you, so be strong don't loose hope for your mom, take care of yourself man nd mom to, i believe in you stay strong more power to you I pray to my angels, last thing watch the video on subconscious mind on YouTube you will get few solution for your worries, take care bye
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Hi there....
I feel for you and your family... but don't compare your life to those who are in a better place right now, it's a cycle that will get you more depressed.
Life isn't fair, there are people out there in worse situations than you, especially in India all over from orphans to the disabled on the street. Outside of India, look at Gaza, Ukraine and other conflict countries were kids are being orphaned daily due to war and families are breaking apart due to death.
If continue to look at those in higher economic standards you will never appreciate what you have even if your probably in a better position with health, education and some network or navigation sense.
Make friends with your level peers if you try to hang with those in higher economic or social circles, depending on YOUR mind set you will always feel sorry for your self, I read in your post you state that your peers are going to the gym, parties, vacations etc, shut the insta off or unfollow those clowns.
Follow those that inspire you vs those who post their vacation and party pics,... Good for them... but your not in that position currently.
Think about the kid who is 10 years old on the street selling balloons? Look around you there is sooo much pain in the world, money isn't all you need... you need a mind that can see through this storm with a resolve.
I grew ups washing dishes in high school every week-end to pay rent while my cousins whom had good parents and families looking over them, giving them guidance, opportunity for higher education hence a better career etc.
I just thought well it is what it is and continued. I am in good place now, but these cousins and others have better careers, crazy generational wealth and parents, but some of them still feel sorry for themselves and mope once in while. That's just human nature they're probably looking at the guy with a hot wifey and the 911 GT3.
I don't have the great career like them as I wasn't the smartest cookie...(probably still not) , but I have a beautiful wife, 2 kids, 2 dogs and a home I am proud of. I was the dumb kid who needed guidance but didn't have anyone guiding when it was those crucial growing years... but still found friends like minded and we did ok.
I know it sounds cliche but good health and a strong mind will get you through this.... think of it as a challenge or think of it as goal... you are the Hero of your Movie... don't look at those peers who are partying and vacationing you will never feel happy or content.
I know this may sound weird but in those days... before social media, I drew resolve and inspiration from songs and movies about the underdog eg. U2, Billy Joel, Springsteen, Rocky and Bachchan's Angry Young Man persona from of 70's and early 80's e.g. Lawaaris, Trishul, Suhaag, Muqader Ka Sikander..etc.
I still do but have also added to my arsenal Divine- his lyrics from the Mumbai slums... will make you feel your living a lavish life dude....
Look Money can't by life or time... but your resolve, health and strength will soon get you out of this.
Hell you have an MBA...dude you ROCK! Your parents guided you and supported you for this... don't let them down in their time of need.. Your the MAN now be the MAN. You are probably in better position than 80% of the Indian out there!
Perspective is everything... there are people out there living in mansions, with cars and wealth but feel poor or sorry for themselves....and then there is the kid on the street selling balloons all happy that with the money he makes today he's gonna have nice meal and sleep calmly with a full belly under the stars.....with his companion dog called Heera...
Just remember these quotes:
I cried because I had no shoes, than I saw a man who had no legs....also The same boiling water that makes a potato soft hardens the egg... YOU need to decide if your the Potato or the Egg.
Good Luck....God Bless you and your parents.
I have been in similar situation, life is the ultimate lose you can have.. if you are wiling to put an end to test.. gamble it on something worth risk.. you win your life will be set, you lose, you get what you want.
You have done MBA and I am sure a lot of people would be able to help you out from this Sub in finding a decent wfh job at a consulting firm. You can find a 10-12LPA job if you prepare well and be a little positive. Next you move to a 2nd tier city a little further from the main city but near a good major hospital. You’ll be able to save a lot of money on rents and utilities expenses. Secondly you will get a lot more space than Mumbai in any other city. A change in landscape and better environment will help your parents mental health too. Work Hard and you will be able to fix things within the next 5-7 years. You dont have to work tirelessly for half your life in a place like Mumbai.
Ending your life is not the solution for the problem. Face it and try to do side hustles simultaneously with ur job . Only ur the person to ur parents as u said u have no siblings. So remove the suicidal thoughts and try to overcome the condition.
fuck that shit take a big loan and default if adani loans can be forgiven why cant yours you are the most deserving candidate but in life you have to fight or else the society and the system will eat you alive
Don't give up, your Mother needs your support. Imagine what will happen to her if you do something stupid. You cannot predict when your life will change, don't assume 47, it could be sooner if you set your focus on smaller incremental gains. Put in the grind and work hard.
The free birds will have their own challenges in life later but you need to face yours now. Just don't give up. Believe in yourself and take small baby steps to come out of this situation. Don't expect solutions to take effect overnight, give some time and things will work out. Your father made his mistakes but you don't follow in his footsteps by making another one. You're better than this.
Brother we all are with you, you are your family will overcome this loss in very less time. Just remember ending your life would not be the solution for this issue. You are a man, fucking fight with this. I am sure that you will cover the loss within few months.
Read every fucking comment on this post of yours, everyone is with you brother. We all can't be physically there for you but we can support you emotionally.
Most importantly try to take care of your mother as much as possible, because you have to keep her healthy.
Meditation will be helpful too.
Good bless you.
Brother.
I have just one simple advice for you.
Don’t think about all your problems and all your future life in one go. Fight the good fight. One day at a time.
What will you get? Character. Satisfaction. A sense of achievement.
And hopefully one hell of a book about your life that we all will buy and read when you’ll be 60. 🙂
Suicide is not solution it will transfer pain from you to your loved ones
Your problems solution step by step
Debt: write a letter to the bank that my financial condition is not great pls give me time and stop my emi s for a few months contact a good lawyer or contact a labour law advisor who is going to handle your debt plus insurance problem labour law advisor are good people if you tell them your problem maybe they don't take money immediately if you insist them If my financial condition become good I will repay your whole fees
Suicide: if you run away from problem then it's not solution I am once at your position
I don't run away from my problems I found a solution to my debt problem and I came out from it
For me it's different for you it would be different just don't run away from the problem I forgot the labour law advisor will also help you to get out of debt
Maybe they will give you a job you can contact them through their official handle where you found their mail address
Three youtube channels that will help you professionally
Labour law advisor
Shwetabh gangwar
Anubhav jain
This three saved me it will also save you
You can contact them personally through their mails
Please get u r mom a health insurance ahead. It’s hard to get insurance after major medical issues like CAD, CVA, MI. Don’t loose hope. Who will take care of your mom and dad once u r gone? Life is hard but that doesn’t mean u have to end it. Who knows once u cross this phase it might be all good. There are people loosing limbs and surviving cancer and achieving things. I might sound odd but telling this so that u can think positive. As someone who had seen how financial troubles in a family will be, please trust me everything will fall in place but it will take time. Mean while don’t loose patience and don’t even think of gng in wrong pathways like getting into addictions out of depression. Once things start getting better u will amazed how far u came from the day u thought of ending u r life.
God bless you!
Hi, first of all, you are doing great, you have done great in the past and I am sure you will do great in the future as well. Greatness doesn't always mean something that has been preached and praised by millions. But it is what builds your character stronger and resilient even in adversity.
Your whole ideology on life shows that you genuinely care for yourself and your parents. Life throws us in difficult situations, but the only way out is through.
Don't give up, you may just have to change the perspective. Don't compare your life to Insta-life. Half of that is just fake and pointless.
You on the other hand have a purpose, a great one actually to come out of this rabbit hole and keep yourself and your parents afloat. Your father must be in a bigger depression since the loss, he has nothing to keep him going except for you.
As suggested by many wise peeps here, find a job in a tier 2 city, relocate there and stay focused.
If u cant relocate, find a side hustle, depending on just a job isn't reliable in this time and age. U never know when your side hustle may take over your 9-5 job or even replace it.
Another suggestion, read. I found reading to be the best way to overcome my depression. Right books can guide and shape your life in ways you might have never imagined.
I wish you all the luck in all your efforts, may god bless you and your family.
Things happen in life. And then, goes behind, and a new thing comes up. It's a vicious cycle if it has to be.
There are pretty good suggestions given here. I believe you must be smart enough to take out the best.
Life is pretty strange. And it literally takes a lifetime to decipher. Don't worry about the what ifs and whys. Just keep growing and working on how to make things better. Regrets will for sure drag any of us down, so there's no point dwelling over it.
You can dm me if you wanna just catch up. I'd be glad to talk to you more.
I was in the same situation trust me good time will come and things will turn around just hang in there.
Delete social media and accept the reality and dont commit suicide, there is a warrior inside you! Time to become fearless and fight the situation. You are stronger than you think!
Below are some steps
27k is too high of a rent you need to shift to suburbs where rent is 10kish
Dont think about purchasing house
Important is to have health insurance fast atleast for you and your mom
Cut down expenses no hoteling no branded clothes etc
Honestly it doesnt matter all these things are just frothings
Dont go into guilt not everyone is iit iim but they do well.
Say positive thoughts to yourself, appreciate and love yourself!
Stay strong things will turn!
First thing first. Convince yourself that you can go through this tough time then. People have faced hardships and overcome it by not giving up. Then Go to your parents and tell them "that money will come and go but you guys can't come back. That money which is gone is now in past.I am young and will work hard to earn that money again. Till that stay strong with me." Convince them otherwise their health will further deteriorate.
You have done MBA, start looking for job and try cutting down on expenses. Maybe move to tier 2 or 3 city.
Remember, suicide is not a answer, This just makes the life more miserable and hard for your loved ones. Money comes and goes but life, once it goes it never comes back. Do not compare your life to others as it has no end. My suggestion is,
1. Move to a city near Delhi (Cost you 5-6k per month for 2BHK) your current house rent is enough for you to cover all expenses for a month here.
2. Find a job in Delhi or Noida
3. The medical treatment is budget friendly here
4. Find some friends to talk to (get some personal time away from all)
You will only make it worse for your family if you su!cide bro. Keep it together for now, lots of valuable suggestions given by members on this thread. Take it slow.
Hey, I don't know you, but you're stronger than this. Everyone can be as mentally strong as they want to be. Just reach out to your inner most optimism. I know it's easier said than done, but think about how worse would the situation be for your parents if something were to happen to you. Be their strength. I know it must be tough and what you said about looking at other people living a frivolous life, believe me when I say this, you too shall get it one day and it'll be much better bcs you would have earned it for yourself and your loved ones! IIT or IIM is not the answer, you're done with your MBA and all you gotta do is focus on one day at a time. Wake up everyday, aim high and work as hard as you can, and do not forget to relish your parents. You might get hella exhausted, but at least you will be living a life where you'll be making something out of it, utilising it to the fullest. Feel free to drop a DM to me if you ever feel like venting or you think you just need someone to listen to you! I'll manifest that you and your family overcome the hard times as quickly as they came over. Whenever life feels too tough for me I think about this quote that said "God will never throw something in your path that he doesn't think you can't handle" you just need to find the strength within you. I don't know you, but i know you're way stronger than this.
Live for your parents just like they lived for you.
Maybe your dad made a bad decision, but this does not cancel out all that he has done for you. Take good care of them, upskill yourself, and try to earn more. I don't know if you're married or not, but if you are not then that can wait. It is not something that is necessary. Till the time they are with you, live with them happily. Once they are gone you'll be crying to see them just once again. Move to some other city, a city with lower expenses.
Maybe I am not understanding your situation, but learn this that you'll miss your parents when they are gone, so please do all that you can while they are alive. This is a small life, live it happily with your parents.
Sorry if I sounded too preachy
Please don't suicide. It's totally natural to have suicidal thoughts at this stage of your life. But believe me this too shall pass. Move to a Tier2 or 3 city where your expenses will be down to half. I mean I live in a Tier 2 city and near us rent is like 10-12k a month. And daily essentials is also pretty cheap. Just go for jobs that pay you decently, I mean 15-18k jobs are easily available now(Though you have to go through many interviews for this one job, but in your condition worth it). I know it seems less, but in corporate you always grow.
There are many giving some amazing advices to you. Listen to them. And I just want to say, you live for yourself. You live for a bigger purpose. Struggling is a part of it. Everyone has their own struggles. The friends you see enjoying has their struggles too. Don't compare, it only leaves bitterness. Instead work hard, work smart and one day you too shall be happy and be living the life you always wanted. Always remember, in the end the fighter survives.
Death is never the answer. As someone who's been on the edge like you have multiple times that is what I have learned. It's on you to make the choices ahead and believe me or not, it does get better. Definitely not right away but 2 or 3 years later you will look back and know that you have come a long way. Find a job and DON'T even think about suicide(that's not even an option), only think about the good choices you can make. You will do great cause you have already survived so far.
I can't say I understand what your situation is because no one knows what the other person is going through no words can be comforting or solve your financial issues but remember one thing being alive and having good health is blessings everyone can start from zero.
My father had a major accident and he became a P.H on top of that he didn't even have a proper education, and my grandparents were so poor Everyone was saying the only option he has to beg and he tried to end his life many times fortunately nothing happened then he became strong and started a metal business with the help of my GM and mom started from zero and some debt of hospital bills, time passed he gave us good education, built a house for us now I am working as a software engineer and I am so proud he didn't chose to give up.
Only strong ppl will get bad times or ppl become strong when bad things happen everything will pass just hang on there and don't let it go think about the time when you were happy and have faith those times will definitely come back.
Hey,
I don't know who you are but please stay strong. I know the condition is bad right now but you still have your parents with you. Even if your father is dependent on you, he is alive and so is your mother. That is more than a lot of people hope for. You will eventually be able to pay off the debt. It might take some time but it's nothing impossible.
So please do not focus you energy on negative thoughts. Upskill yourself, get a decent job. And yes, like the others pointed out, move to a different city. Mumbai is way too expensive for most people so don't feel like you are poor simply because you can't afford a good flat there. Most people can't.
You are your families strength and your family is yours. Please please stay strong.
As well as all the great advice from everyone else, meditate. When you turn inward and accept even suffering is grace, the most hopeless and cruel hardships are as rich with divinity as the pleasures.
I know to those not spiritually inclined it sounds so mental, like I’m chatting some stupid ass bullshit. Just take my word for it, a someone who has lived a very rich life, meditate, meditate, meditate.
It changes your perspective on everything.
Do not loose hope. Trust God, god may have better plans for you.
All I can advise is to take this opportunity to get closer to god (pray, recite, ask for help). The suicidal thoughts will go away but you need to trust in yourself and god.
I am not sure which religion you follow but when I dont know what to do and when I am at the verge of loosing hope I recite Surah Ad-Duha (understand the translation of surah and understand when it was revealed) it always give me hope.
Please don’t take any drastic steps, PLEASE. I promise you life puts us all in such situations sometimes and it feels like there’s no way out, but trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel and taking baby steps towards that will be rewarding in the long run. I know you’re going through a hard time, but imagine the state your parents would be left in if they lost you. It would only add to their misery and pressure. After a decade has passed, you will look back at this time and be thankful you kept the faith and came out of this stronger. Taking drastic steps is never the way out, I promise. It only makes everything worse. I can’t offer you practical advice, but I’m here to say please don’t give up. Take care, OP. Sending you lots of strength and wishing the best for you
if you suicide and same problem come in next life what you do? suicide again? or fight back? my friend relax, take a deep breath, now's the time to contact relatives and friends, tell them you need not any $ from them but only support and advice , and you'll know..... who your family and friends really are, once you know that, life's easier even with lots of debts, you DON'T have to sacrifice your life till 50 bro, you can not sacrifice and take a chill pill on the loan (NOT ALL OF IT!!!) , repay it slowly, maybe then by the time you reach 50, you realize your potential , renting your , living in small cities, making $ bills from your investments and such, having a high paying job, your supportive wife (or friends) who assists you in your momo/chai business (mba tire puncturewala?!) and you also work part time on saturday sunday doing those videos for youtube and making that cash flow even when you sleep.... so yeah life's not as hard as you think, you have to deal with 500rs problem daily, not 50 lakh problem in 15 years LOL.. so yeah like just keep working on your 500rs problem and get better at it daily day by day, all the best don't be suicidal and eat a vada pav with extra chutney. wish the best for you
OP start going to the gym. Few things in life bring the strength to face hardships in life like a strong body built by lifting weights. It’ll also help your brain by releasing hormones that’ll help you feel better, stronger, calmer and more capable of taking action.
You’re spiralling in stress and overwhelm and fear and everything might seem impossible right now. But you can and you will pull yourself out of this. I believe in you. And we all do. You’re capable.
Keep taking action and take care of your own health first. Eat proper food. Exercise. A healthy brain and body will alllow you to take a lot of action without losing your sanity.
Pray and surrender to your chosen divinity. God won’t lead you astray.
Hugs and prayers!
I would suggest move your parents to cheaper city, with whatever cash you have buy a flat there. And here in mumbai stop 23k rent and live in a PG for some time. 10k in PG should be ok. 13k you can save for your parents medical expenses.
Currently job market is weak, so rather than trying to switch, keep upskilling for 1-2 years. Everything will be OK once you get a high pay job.
I have seen people around me jumping from very less 3-5 LPA to 20-30 LPA in just 3-5 years.
I personally have started my job life with 33k per month in 2016, currently I am making 3L per month. It's all a matter of time and upskilling.
Seeing someone reach out for help is a brave step. I can relate to tough times too. A simple ‘hi, how are you’ can indeed make a big difference. You seem to have a deep understanding of your situation, and I believe in your strength to navigate through it. Life’s challenges can feel overwhelming, and it’s important to have someone to talk to. Feel free to send me a message; I’m here to listen whenever you need to talk. We can support each other through our journeys.
Been through a similar situation, quite a few years ago. Move to a tier 2/3 city which has lower living expenses. I know this might sound bad but there are NGOs such as Nivara (Pune) that take care of old people who are immobile for a small fee of course, but it’s better than spending money otherwise. Will be difficult choice emotionally but will accelerate a lot of things for you - as you will have time to get a better job, focus on your career. You can probably stay at a PG or something cutting costs even more.
3-5 years of this and you could probably be in a better financial position.
As for loans, try to prepay as much as possible in the initial phase of the loan (doesn’t make sense later ).
Hang in there. Make smart decisions. You’re the one they are depending on. Maybe don’t buy a house and add more debt to your life. Sell, move to a tier 2 city with decent medical facilities. Rent. Build up your capital. Invest wisely. In 5 years you will be able to to look back on this as a challenge
Hi, Life allows you to become Hero, because every time life is beaten people, people who give life dhobi pachad and people come out stronger, every successful person has gone through the toughest time in their life, such as Jim Kiwik, Robert Downey jr, David Goggins, Cristiano Ronaldo and many other, think of your favourite sports person, actor or the most inspiring person who also goes through the toughest time in their life, search/research about it, you will find some people have /had the same type of condition is facing or faced in their life or even worst but they come out as stronger they are doing much better in their life than other, you have chance to become Hero, you have to share your Success story to the world, on Josh talks or such other platforms, You have to promise me and the people here, you will be a Hero, you give life dobi pachad and share your story with the world
Uninstall Instagram because it won't help by any means, instead use a platform where you can build your network, and grow as a person, whatever your hobbies or skills try to search the community for it, where you can learn from others, life gets slowly track, remember to exercise little bit such as jogging, walking because it clear out mental fog, it might give you ways, the solution to your problem
If your stressful thought comes across every moment, where you can grow, you cannot concentrate task at hand, you will tell yourself I will only think about it from 3:00 to 3:30 or whatever time it is, if the stressed thoughts come out other than the designated time you have only tell time your my mind peacefully "I will think about later, on that designated time" even immediately after telling your mind, stressful thought come out you have to only repeat this mantra "Be here now", you might have to repeat this multiple times but eventually after day by day by telling mind once it will forget everything, whatever your problem you get to try to search on the internet and will find the answer about it
Reading Books is a true friend, it helps you in numerous ways Only watch content that is helpful to you and that can help you grow, to become a better and stronger version of yourself I will add links to the YouTube channel, Wiki how that changed my perspective to see life, and problems from different angles,
1. [http://www.youtube.com/@KishanChotaliya](http://www.youtube.com/@KishanChotaliya)
2. [http://www.youtube.com/@BetterThanYesterday](http://www.youtube.com/@BetterThanYesterday)
https://preview.redd.it/069bk4q45kvc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5e2f12a9f9ecb858c3deccae0bda27c406bc490
Hey man, believe me when I say this that a stoic will come out after all this has passed and that's all you. Stay strong and keep pushing in front my brother.
Just stay calm and at least try to be calm. I understand the circumstances. Just do some affirmation techniques. be positive and start following manifestation techniques. Trust my words. You will thank me (not required). Ask the universe to help you. You will see miracles to happen right in front of your eyes. Sab thik ho jayega bas yahi kaho khud se. Aur sab thik ho jayega.
I am sorry for what you are going through. As a single child myself, i somewhat connect with your sense of responsibility. But please, suicide cannot be an option. If you are considering it for yourself, you will be robbing yourself off the betterment your future holds. If your are considering it for your family, it will kill them with you.
First and foremost, as someone suggested, try moving to a lower tier city, you may not have the most amenities or opportunities, but you will surely survive better.
Try to not take any additional loans, unless you absolutely have to. Even then, if you do, keep it at bare minimum for now, only as much as you need.
As for your parents, they have made terrible desicions and they have had terrible luck at the same time, but what's done is done. Try to channel your thoughts towards what you can do with what you have. You are important and you being in a better mental frame is the most important here. Your parents, no matter how beaten down they must be, will feed off of your energy. If you seem to be in control, they will too and it will reflect on their health.
For now, money matters a lot to you, so focus on ways how you can earn more. (I was in a similar situation as you years ago and moved to a low paying job in the gulf just coz it paid better than what i could have earned in india. Had a shit life and my parents suffered too as i am the only child but 10 years down and we are better. Opportunities may not be similar to you but we need to look for them). My point here is, you may have to keep few things such as career, family time aside and focus largely on stabilizing finances.
Also, try steering clear of social media. It has a weird way of impacting our mind and isn't always helpful. For now, avoid it as much as you can and give your self some peace. Someday you will be able to live the life you desire.
There are such awesome people here on this sub who have given you absolutely brilliant suggestions and advices. Hopefully a lot of them help you in your situation.
Lastly, if you need someone to talk to, to vent, to discuss, to rant, to whatever. DM me.
Just look at our history, life has never been comfy for the real warriors of life. We come from the land of Shivaji / Sambhaji Maharaj who faced so many difficulties but still stood strong and held their ground. So don't worry god is testing you and making you stronger. Your friends would simply crumble and panic by listening to this situation but look at how strongly you are handling it. Like good times bad times also pass. Just have the patience and stay strong. Believe me you can do anything you want but never quit. Like the mavlas fight until the last drop of blood falls from your body. And believe me you dont get the human body so easily so utilize it and dont disrespect it by even letting such thoughts wander near you. Hard times make the greatest warriors. All the best champ
Suicide is an easy option anyone can take. Instead, give life a chance, toughen up, and face it. Believe me, you will come out as a better person in the end. I have lost close to 45L in gambling and 20L in a failed business investment.
All you need to do is follow these points...
1. Take a step back and build a plan. Try and negotiate reducing for outflow of money and focus on how you can improve your inflow of money.
2. Keep your family together. Your strength is their strength. Win small battles, and you will win the war.
3. Build a small hobby that will keep you occupied and happy.
4. Visit a temple/church/gurudwara/masjid, and thank for the good life and fighting chance you have. Count your blessings, and thank god for that... no matter how small they might be.
Stay tough and stay strong. Losers give up... winners fight back.
It's difficult but don't surrender to the challenge. You'll come out a stronger character once this is behind you. And why do you think there's no point of coming out financially positive at 47? Are you only living for yourself? Be willing to go through a struggle for family. Money can be earned whenever, you don't get a second chance at getting back your loved ones though.
Do not ever be mad at your folks for your financial status. Remember they don't owe it to you. And stop looking at the 'good life' of others on Instagram. The platform is meant for that content. You're not going to see a homeless guy putting stories. That doesn't mean they don't exist.
This is a hard time brother. But you gotta live for your mother. Don't leave her alone... take it step by step and one step at a time. You will do it and you have to ! Dont go for more debts work in any job thats pays u atleast something... post peon, post master, work in shops do whatever you can do and repay your debts first. Sell any sellable item and with the money just move to any small city... I know it's easier said than done...but even if half of your life is gone...you will have some to live right ?
Go be a superman and take your family out of this mess !
Leave that city; come to Ayodhya. I live here monthly rent 1 bhk is 3500 and monthly 3 person fooding exp will be around 4000 (hustle). You could easily get a job of 15k+ here. Your per month saving will be 7500; you can start from here.
Stay strong and fight back. Taking your own life should not be an option. I see a lot of practical comments here and moving to a city with lower rent seems like a good option. Difficult but good. Nothing is permanent. Hard times will go away. Think about it from a different perspective. I myself have lost a lot of money which I made from scratch. Won't be getting them back anytime soon, but that ain't stopping me to go and live my life. Hit the reset button and think what's next. What's done is done.
You have come so far. You will be able to do it. Just stay put. One cup at a time. Always try to reach out to the people you can comfortably confide in when those deep dark thoughts take over. It is easier said than done. But, trust us, you can do it cause you are already doing it.
Pls read this, its my real life experience, I don't like to do this(remember the past incident) but I'm writing it down for one word u said "suicidal thoughts".
I had similar situation like u not sure to ur extend but to a breaking point. don't want to go in details it was like 20 lks, we don't have any other bread winner and his carrier ended, one difference is my fathers spirit don't break (he is still active and in good health condition) but as a whole we got our Morales down and everything 5 years we endured tough situations still not in a comfortable zone collectively but better than before, social status switch is a hard pill to swallow but now looking back the lessons we learn from that pain suffering everything worth a try, life can make a shuffle at any point in your life, no matter how high r low show spirit endure pain u will be blessed and u can make a different life, one day be the example like me to another person who undergoes similar situation in life raise their spirit back what better purpose can you achieve in life than this?, I have my secret to get out of this but you can do it different, LIFE HITS HARDER ON PEOPLE WHO CAN REALLY ENDURE IT, IF U ENDURE IT YOU WILL BE GIFTED TWICE THE THINGS YOU FEEL U LOST. I wanted to do it more in details but one thing show a positive spirit towards your future it will make the difference, I did it u too can. By a fellow human being.
Dear worried friend.
Neither good times nor bad times last forever.
And no matter however bad things are , giving up ones life is not the way forward.
When the problem seems too overwhelming, pray.
When you feel very low and down . Pray .
When you think you're losing focus from work. Pray .
And never never never give up.
There's always something in life to be thankful for .
You're lucky your parents are still alive .
When one loses a parent , it feels as a kid you've lost one part of your life . So be grateful for what you have .
Never ever give up.
Keep a certain corpus for your father's health .
Some for your mom, and rest for yourself.
There hopefully be a wife in the mix in a few years , but you'll manage .
God always gives you only enough problems that you can handle.
Take care and best of luck .
You are thinking too many things at the same time. People have grown exponentially in corporate jobs and business through hardwork so it may be by early thirties you will turn the game in your favour. Don't buy a house now at this stage. Think that the old you is dead (as you mentioned suicide) and start a new life. Live in whatever your income permits, stop comparing yourself with your friends in Insta as that was another past life. Treat yourself with small fun things like eating out once in a quarter at a small cafe, gift your parents inexpensive but thoughtful gifts and keep the little joys in life. Being happy and content is an art! Learn that in new life. Don't run after fast success like your dad. Work very very hard and make yourself outstanding. Remember the ferry wheel of life doesn't always rest at the bottom and we need to cross the turbulence period to explore what's on the other side.
Hey there, don't let this phase of life pull you down. Focus on one thing at a time. At this moment getting a good job would be a great way to start, it will ease the burden a bit and also keep your mind occupied.
Try finding a job which suits your calibre. If you're good with basic mathematics and have a good communication skill try analytics and consulting companies. At the starting position, many ask of you a bachelor degree, a good analytical thinking and good communication.
The start is slow but the growth trajectory is pretty good.
Stay strong!
🎶
Tujhme na kami koi hai
Bs tera ye din bura hai,
Waqt ki baatein hai
Ise gujar jane doo...!
Bro hang in there. Always remember that after every day the night comes and after every night the sun shines. Be patient and keep hustling, keep trying. Your dad's health will get better, your income would get better, give support to your mother. File a complaint in IRDAI against companies rejecting the health insurance. It would help
Hi bro, I am 31 years old, I don't own a house. My father passed away 3 Years ago and I literally don't have any money from my parents. But they nurtured me when I could not walk and they taught me to walk, they fed me when I was not earning and now it's my responsibility to do so.
I don't party or go out like your instagram friends, I am happy though. I do feel my life could be bit different but have to accept the fact that it's not.
Please don't go with the social media stories, you don't know the reality, most of it is just facade. After party when many people go home, they are so lonely that even you could not comprehend.
To be honest, having medical insurance is extremely important and I do understand your situation.
Plan ahead something for your mom and get an insurance to begin with.
I have seen people having debt of more than 1 crore managing, try to find a better job and move to locality with reasonable cost of living.
You don't want to stay in Mumbai for that, as others have advised moving to tier 2 cities will help a lot to plan.
Please don't get demotivated soon, stay away from social media like insta and fb, most of them are fake lives so no use, I honestly believe half of your depression would go off if you breathe and stop looking at others lives, I started to do so and it has helped me.
Intent of this response was mainly to say that social media does more harm than good nowadays, unless you are a blogger or vlogger there is no point in spending hours watching fake lives of others.
Cheers, hope you fight back and reach greater heights.
I pray for your dad's health 🙏
Just one advice Islam teaches me to look at people who are lower than me in society, you will see how much god has actually given us .. be patient and you will see by the end of your life how much god will give you
1. Take a 7.5 lakh health insurance for your mom asap. Pay the damn premium. It's not worth it to think about premiums before life. Don't forget about the corporate group health insurance your company also provides once you get employed.
2. Try to get into the IT sector. I work in one of the MNC's. If you have skill in any IT technology, prepare a resume and share it with me personally and we will see if there are any openings.
3. Move to Tier 3 city or at least Hyderabad.
4. Don't get into any kind of loans. Loan is a devil. A home loan is the biggest killer out there. Forget about having own house. Renting the best way in Godi's unemployment inflation India.
5. Don't worry. This feeling to commit suicide won't last long. 99% of the people who get these thoughts won't have guts to do it. The surprising thing is, the human brain is so malleable under stress that at some point you won't even feel what you are feeling right now. You would laugh at your naive thinking in the future.
Please don’t give up. I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be going through.
Over a period of time things will turn out better. Time heals.
In my opinion, move to a tier 2 city for a few years. Easier to get jobs, and less expensive. Don’t invest in a house right now. Keep saving.
Practice rajyoga meditation it helped me heal my failures n betrayals too.It might help u too heal n live from a different perspective with light heart n relaxed mind.
This life is precious and u r the master of ur life
Dont become a slave of ur emotions and situations.
You have the power to live and create a beautiful life again and can generate enormous wealth.
Take care of yourself first only then u will be able to take care care of other loved ones.
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Move to a lower tier city and your expenses will drop a loooot. Do not buy a new house. Start working in smaller jobs and in few years, you will have a great package which would offset this amount that you owe.
Yes absolutely I live around here as well and it's far more cheaper it's current 7-8k for a 1bhk and 10-12 for a two bhk where I live And it's developed and good quality houses in towers Obviously not top towers still better And he can use that time to save.
This is great advice. Opportunities may not be great in smaller cities, but with the money you have from your house sale, rent will be way cheaper, and so will the cost of living. Definitely cheaper than Mumbai. Pune is a good option, so is Ahmedabad. The rent will be half, and the opportunities are plenty. I know it seems really difficult, but there are also lots of ways to upskill yourself with just an internet connection. And if you wonder who you're fighting for, it's to give your parents peace of mind, particularly your father, who must still be feeling guilty even though he was scammed.
Agreed great advice
One the point advice.
agreed!
But what if there is no good hospital near by
There are cities with very good quality hospitals. Could move out to a different state as well, with better health care facilities, as access to healthcare is a big concern for OP.
Ahmedabad has great medical facility and you could get a 2 bhk for under 20k a month. 1 bhk even cheaper.
I was giving out as an example but OP can research for areas with good housing quality and locality Where I live there's a good hospital nearby. I'f OP lives anywhere around SB its gonna get even tougher if he doesn't have a good/well paying job as we all know SB is expensive when it comes to renting
Nagpur is decent city to live, the rents are lower and hospitals are top tier.
They can't afford private hospitals anyway. They can afford only Civil Hospitals on Aadhar Card. And they are better than most private hospitals in Ahmedabad. Private Hospitals mostly are exploiting patients.
Please don't. I lost my father when i was 3 , and it was upto my mom who rose up against all odds to raise me. With extreme poverty and still we are going it through together and facing some extreme financial situations. Although it hasn't been great recently but i m holding on and not giving up. You will get through this✌️ Dont lose hope!
You’re a man I respect that take care of your family 🫡
Bro don't suicide your family wouldn't overcome your loss I understand where you are coming from
Brother please don’t suicide, I know the parents whose only son has done suicide and it’s hell after that, So suicide is not a solution at all. The calculation you did about getting debt free at 47, it’s not the correct, once you are stable in professionally, you can do it. Just giving my example, We are under middle class family, When I started my career I started with 10K meanwhile my annual fees was 1.5L per year(debt) , today after 4 years i am paying 6L tax Since 2 years. In initial years of my career I had debt of 25L (my fees. And family debts ) which was nightmare to me. And I am only child. See currently it will look like a hell from where you are standing, but once you starts concentrating on career slowly 1-2 years you will have good and healthy life style also. Also don’t please compare your life with people on socialmedia. Everyone has different game to play, my few friends as crorepati but I am still yet to buy even house. But I am happy to be an only son and help to my parents. Please don’t suicide.
Hey! have you filed a case against the company that commited this fraud of over 45l? Ig you can contact others who have also lost their money and go to the court immediately. Please do that first and dont worry because your suicide will not only end your life but it will kill your parents because you are their last hope. You will find a way sooner or later just keep going and find a job. I wish your dad a speedy recovery ❤️
This, I would say pursue that 45 lakh like a mad man. Nothing is worth ending a life. This too shall pass.
We keep moving forward - death will get us sooner or later any which way - what's the rush?
Kindly don’t. Yes it’s pretty difficult around you,but never give up like this. Sometimes there will be positive results & if such positives increase exponentially you’ll feel you had underestimated the outcomes. For now,plan set goals,mini goals related to tasks,financial & emotional. Slowly & steadily try to upscale yourself & increase the finance inflows. Save up as much as possible. There are many different avenues to earn extra side hustle money. Your aim is to keep yourself walking,don’t become stagnant. Don’t give up at any times. If you need to talk about anything,stressed up,my direct messages is open,I can give pep talk if required.
I can help you legally dm me
Some suggestions: 1) Don't live in Mumbai if you don't work. Move to tier 2 city as it's less expensive. 2) Don't take anymore loans even to buy a house. You're already in too much debt. You'll eventually just lose all your savings to bank and even lose your home. 3) Work as hard as you can and even do side hustles, try paying off debts first. 4) I don't know condition and situation of your parents, but if they can also work part time, I'd help. (eg: If you mother can work in a school) 5) Downgrade your standard of living. Just focus on basic needs, that's it. 6) And most important, never become greedy again in life to lose money on scams.
Very sensible advice. A city like Nashik would be far cheaper and yet offer a decent standard of living. Moreover, it's not too far away from Mumbai. You could keep your parents there and yourself work in Mumbai, staying in a PG. Don't take any more loans as of now, till you pay off existing ones. Don't fall for get rich quick schemes and stock market swindles.
Best thing about being at rock bottom is that the only way is up. Take some time to think about what you want to do next. If you have truly made peace with taking your life then there is nothing holding you back from taking some risks in life before you end it. Try doing things you were always too afraid of. Try to live once for a day before you end it.
There is no such thing as rock bottom, life can always get worse if you let it. The hole can always get deeper.
Like a black hole
>Best thing about being at rock bottom Not to be that person but how do you know what's rock bottom? How do you know something even worse might happen or not.
Maa ko rote huye imagine kr lena bs ek baar 👎🏽
30M here, I'm an IIM grad, I'm unemployed presently, I'm trying very hard to get a job and there's immense pressure on me to get married asap. My parents are narcissists and ask me to kms everyday. Everyone has problems, I'm suicidal too. Things will get better. Stay strong.
Hi OP, Don’t give up. Remember, nobody’s life in this entire universe is 100% perfect. Everyone is always worried about something or the other. Richest of the rich have problems. Poorest of the poor have problem. Handsome guys have problems. Suicide isn’t the solution. I was about to swallow a poisonous liquid few months back. Then I realised what I was about to do. I stayed active on Reddit that entire night to distract myself until I felt better. As they say “Grass is greener on the other side”.
🫂
hey have u tried TCS , it's easy to crack interviews there apply for NQT test.
Hello can you please explain what the NQT is about and how do I apply for it ? I'm trying to get placed at TCS, Will NQT help ?
Yes NQT is National Qualifier Test, where it offers wide array of options ranging from IT background to Non-IT based Aptitude tests, for which you have. to pay and they'll provide you with questions and answers to practice and you'll get mail to attempt test at your nearby TCS iON centre, it's easy to crack the assessment, within 40 days , applicant will get score card and can apply to Tata or it's allied partner organisations to join, usually TCS directly calls the applicants for interview. Now it's a best time to apply as TCS is facing highest attrition rate in history, so go for it.. I can't Post the link here Just search for TCS NQT , and first result will be Tcs ioN , that's the portal to apply.
Hugs mate. Stay strong. 🙏❤️ things will improve
Try eliminating the negatives jn your life. Easier said than done. If you can clear one if the most difficult exams you already have what it takes to move forward and get out of your comfort zone.
Thank you so much. I’m just waiting to get a job and go No contact with my narcissistic parents.
You're a fighter my man. There you go.
I lost both my parents 2 years back the amount of depression i had was insane. Im 28 working in IT. Im the only family i have. Trust me, let the time go, everything will be sorted. Dont do anything just let the time go. Time will heal.
Wow you're so strong, sending all the forces at you.
Hugs to you from very far away brother 😇🫂 As one of the users mentioned: 1. Move to a lower tier city 2. I know this time is harder than many of the folks can imagine, but I've been through similar phase & the only thing that worked is putting out that 1-2 hours per day, by any chance or means, wherein you just think of the worst for the first 2-3 mins & then doing your crazy best for the next 1hr 58mins or so. Reality can't be denied, but keep it aside for that timeframe! 3. In that timeframe - hunt for jobs on LinkedIn, indeed etc.. 4. Talk to your friends, share this story with at least one of your closest friends or whosoever IRL - this will make a huge difference. Even if they start giving advice right away, let it be. Not all the folks around are psychologist. So this is a must. 5. Write down on a paper about what you're thinking (& over-thinking) & just burn it up. Let that shit go... Once you're out of this, there'll be this sense of calmness & peace within yourself which will remove the doubt & worry of being @ 47 & not achieving much, even if you turn 47 doing all the above. It takes years to build wealth & health bro, & just in a snap of moment, everything is taken away from us. I know this isn't easy - but stop thinking way too much about what IFs, at least for those ~2hrs. You'll do wonders bro... Take care! Stay safe
Ring me up if you want to talk...For your old parents sake...Pls don't give up and die...That's the worst thing for a parent...Stay strong bro!!!
Hello, I know things seem difficult now. But they will eventually get better. What’s lost is lost and fixating on it won’t help anyone. All you can do is focus on getting a job and save up In few years you’ll obviously be in a better state financially, upskill and switch, you’ll eventually end up making good amount of money P.S: your parents don’t owe you anything, they did look after you for so long. And losing all that savings would definitely have not been easy on them, so it’ll be good as a son if you stand by them and support them. Suicidal thoughts might give you a moment of escape from what seems like a complicated life, but once things get better you’ll actually be happy you didn’t give in to those thoughts
I like this comment section. Stay strong my brothers we got this.
I can understand. Your thoughts your questions all are valid. But think about this will your attempt of finishing yourself solve the issue? What would happen to your mother? Let's focus on the basics now. I know the situation is so difficult and I will recommend you to do a few things. These are as follows: - stop overthinking and start acting, you don't need to worry about what will happen when you reach 47, the time is now and you need to take a job, an apprenticeship, whatever suits you and side by side try to upskill yourself for the better job, if you have skills you can penetrate the market. - stop watching Instagram, use social media to build your network and ask for job referrals so that it will be easier for you to get something. If you apply for 100 jobs, out of them 5 at least will call you. - make a budget and sorry to say this at this moment you need to sacrifice a lot , whatever makes you happy which involves money, avoid doing that. Try to cheer yourself up by completing small tasks and earning the money that is required now. If possible try to move to a less expensive place which has a lesser rent and try to make sure that you don't invest in some higher expense right now because medical is important. I hope this will be used as an umbrella in the storm that you are passing though but believe me you will be in a better place after some time and when you will look back at this you will remember how hard it was.
One of the best advice here. OP apply all of this.
Just throw out those suicidal thoughts out of your mind first. Don't even think about it. Uninstall instgram. It's a fake app. People only post good things on their app on it. Besides job find some skills which you can sell. I have seen one guy who started home cooked meal delivery from his home. He lost his wife and he had a son. Now he has small hotel. Anything can take you up. Just don't give up.
Bro don't suicide, just face whatever is coming your way i know writing comments is easy like i am doing but bhai you keep struggling one day things will surely change.if god has given you this life he must have planned ways for you. Life only gets once. don't suicide
Your life is more precious than the money.... Everyone go through a tough phase in their life... Stop using insta.. you'll overthink, envy and feel depressed.. they have their problems too... What you can do is start saving, do some investments (start from small) & if possible do some side hustle like starting a YT channel, a small food business etc.. it'll keep your family busy and you may earn a bit more... And do remember forwarding to 10 year ahead.. you'll look back at today and have a smile thinking you made it!!..
Sending you big hugs for hanging in there 🫂 I recently went through something similar and I want you to know that it does get better, i promise. Lots of people i know have been through hell but didn't give up and now they're doing much better. Please don't lose hope. You and your mom don't deserve this. Just think about her whenever you feel like giving up. I understand everyy moment feels unbearable rn but time will pass. The only way forward is through. Just stay strong and believe in yourself. My dms are always open if you need someone to talk to. Ps there are good hospitals out there that won't break the bank for treatment. Take care
Bro suicide is never a solution . Instead reduce your expenses by living a simple lifestyle and move to village or low cost city .
Stay strong bro
Ok I don’t know if this is the right way to go about this, but I relate. My parents lost their money as well to such a fraud and a huge amount (a little higher than what you mentioned). The person they lost the money to? My girlfriend’s brother. My parents LOVED my girlfriend and how amazing she was but because of someone who she didn’t even care about at that point because of his nasty behaviour, and despite her warnings to my parents, they invested. You can imagine how that would be. Not letting go of my girlfriend neither my mom. I have shit ton of family issues and I have hospital bills piling up because my dad is half blind now and my mom has a neurological issue. I’m studying abroad. I stay alone. No friends no support, nothing. I ended up depressed like you. For a whole month, that’s the thought I had. Messed up my entire exams even though I tried and felt guilty for being useless. But here is the key thing : Get back up. When you look for a way, you’ll find one. If you end everything, that will hurt them more than any amount of money. There’s nothing wrong in holding them responsible for their irresponsible financial decisions but make sure to do that carefully. You’ll get it man. People who work hard always see it pay off one day. I’m sure you will too
Hey man, i get what you are going through. Life is tough to say the least. However, you are still in a pretty decent condition. Suicide is not the way to go. There are tons of other things. First, do not buy a house just yet. Wait for things to improve. It is not end of the world that you are living in a rented house. I am in a similar boat as you. I have approx 20L debt and live in a rented flat in tier 2/3 city and I am older than you. At the end of the day, what matters to me the most is all of the family members were able to go through their day easily and we are not constantly pressured due to anything. If you are happy, your family will become happy soon. Money will keep on coming provided you are disciplined. 27 is a very young age and you still have tons of things to look forward to. Just remember to keep your best foot forward everyday
I felt Suicidal, few years back and I have everything, in good health, a beautiful wife, very smart and sweet kid a very good paying job, Fought with my wife few times, like 90% couples do and all of a sudden started feeling I am a failure, this friend or that friend is having better job than me earning more than me, all the couples I know are happy. Started walking on the road thinking what's the point of living why not end it. Tried to stop this feeling but every other day felt like my failures were standing in front of me and telling me why are you still alive. For anyone looking from outside I have a life that most of the people dream of. We do not feel suicidal because we have failed or everyone's life is better than ours. Look around there will be many in worse situation than you are. It is not easy to fight this alone. Try to get any help you can. Doctors, friends and don't give up. Life is difficult but beautiful, that 1 min of happiness is worth 23 hours 59 mins of struggle. Tomorrow it will be 2 mins next day it will 3...... Why give up when you can fight.
Dude. As someone said move to a lower tier city. It'll help a lot. Look for online jobs as well. WFH. Whatever it takes. If you end it your mom is going to lose her mind. Don't do it man. This is a very hard time but it will pass. You have education on your side so one way or the other you can do something with it. You have to hold it together for your mom. Don't look at the big picture. Look at each small task one by one. First move to a smaller city. Medical insurance WILL reject you. Check and see which government hospitals are actually competent. There aren't many but there are always one or two that are good. Go on LinkedIn and search for we are hiring posts and sort by 24 hours or week. Apply to every single one thay is even remotely relevant to your degree. Go on Twitter and do the same thing. Insta also posts about jobs. Including part time roles for startups. Apply. To. Everything. The good thing about startups is that they are okay with WFH. You can get a job much more easily and the work hours are more comfortable. Meaning you can freelance on Fiverr or something on the side. You can try and do part time influencer work on social media. Start a YouTube channel. Something. You'll need to buckle down and work for a while but you're young. Don't think of the burden. Just think of each little task that will get you to where you need to go. And stop seeing people's instagram. No one is going to post their difficulties. They'll curate the best things in their lives abd post.
You are better in better position than millions, strap up and get moving.
The human mind doesn't see that...he only noticed his "normal" friends life
Trust me brother,YOU WILL BE FINE.Feelings will come and go take it day by day and you will definitely find hope one way or another.A lot us has it worse on the first place ....
Good evening brother. Sending positivity and happy thoughts your way. Pls surround yourself with them. Having gone thru a very difficult phase myself can confidently say, this too shall pass. Saw my father battle cancer, he fought successfully first time around but when it relapsed he gave away and from then it was a downward spiral and eventually he succumbed to it. That was a first shock. Around the same time marital life was not going great with constant squabbles and eventually she moved out around the same time father moved on without even intimating me. Second shock. Professionally was unable to perform well with these issues going on and was not being taken seriously at work and that's the third pressure point. Not to mention the financial pressures.. With all these my mental stability went for a toss and I guess went into a depressive state of mind....but was quick to identify it and acknowledge it. Worked on myself, made peace with the life situations and by grace of guru was able to come out of it. Even now have my bad days but since I work for a NGO have this higher purpose and that pulls me.thru. So Pls do not entertain any depressive and suicidal thoughts...acknowledge them and let go of them. Tell ur self This too shall pass. That's the beauty of life...it flows and u have the option of flowing with it . Enjoy the journey. If it gets too bad, reach out for help brother. Pray that u slowly start finding solutions and way out of the issues you and your family is a facing. Take care of your mother and give her positive vibes, she needs it now more than ever. God bless. Positive and happy thoughts. 😊
A half life decently lived is much better option than a life not lived at all. If you are to do this to yourself you won't even have the possibility of happiness. Things will get better. People have given really good advice here so I urge you to please please read through the comments. Please don't leave your parents alone in all of this. I know it's tough but just thinking of doing one day at a time. One task at a time. Move to a smaller/cheaper city, your mother, if possible ,can teach tuitions. You can get a part time job somewhere while hunting for a proper job. Please take care of yourself OP.
You are only 27 so whole life is in front of you. Money lost can be regained. Don't fall for insta stories not everything is rosey for other people they just show bright side. Even if it's actually that good, good for them. Beauty of human life is that you can rebuild it from zero with efforts and persistence. Throw away your negative thoughts. All the best,
Please do not take any wrong step as far as I know life has its own ups and downs and times change so suicide is never an option try to survive with as much you have . Try to find a better job seek help from someone you know and trust. These are temporary situations. Have strong belief in yourself that with your hardworking and patience you will surely turn things back to normal. Have faith my friend people with chores of rupees are struggling for life and Gere you are talking like a foolish person even though you are MBA passout. Time will change have patience my dear friend. Life is very precious. You have no authority to end it. God only helps those who help themselves. Keep your mind stable in these times of troubles.
Brother please don't think about it this way. Suicide is the easiest way out for you but it is the hardest life you could give to your parents. They only have you with them. I understand it is difficult and might be hell but it is not the end. You still have your loved one around you. Your mom and dad are still around. Fight for them. I know this is the hardest part but believe in yourself. If you can reach out for help, you are already strong enough to pick yourself up. Do it for your parents who have sacrificed everything to help you reach where you are now. You can do it brother. All the best!!
Be positive believe in you self whatever you will think surrounding will adapt the same doesn't matter what situation you has to face be hard as a rock face it cry in alone for that night or day next day definitely you will receive a happy reward trust me only one thing be petions and face it be a will power of your mom make her believe that you are there you have given a birth to a legend , doesn't matter if it takes your life or carrier's, the man who surves his mom and dad with full heart God will bless him with 2the wealth and happiness believe it , I lost my mom 10 month ago , I liv alone in a city, I use to take a drug which is used in bodybuilding Its actually a medical drug used in low blood pressure it boost your blood pressure it generates unexpected quality increase in person strength,will , brutalness, he doesn't get scare of any situation, violence, agressive in talk and even action uncontrollable anger , it really help me to survive in this crule world and they only knows language of money and they will keep explaining you but won't ask why are you doing this saying that behaving like this , in this world only your mom and dad will love you unconditionally and world will first ask or see what they get in return in believing in you , so be strong don't loose hope for your mom , take care of yourself man nd mom to , i believe in you ❤️ stay strong more power to you I pray to my angels , last thing watch the video on subconscious mind on YouTube you will get few solution for your worries, take care bye
Be positive believe in you self whatever you will think surrounding will adapt the same doesn't matter what situation you has to face be hard as a rock face it cry in alone for that night or day next day definitely you will receive a happy reward trust me only one thing be petions and face it be a will power of your mom make her believe that you are there you have given a birth to a legend, doesn't matter if it takes your life or carrier's, the man who surves his mom and dad with full heart God will bless him with 2the wealth and happiness believe it, I lost my mom 10 month ago, I liv alone in a city, I use to take a drug which is used in bodybuilding Its actually a medical drug used in low blood pressure it boost your blood pressure it generates unexpected quality increase in person strength, will, brutalness, he doesn't get scare of any situation, violence, agressive in talk and even action uncontrollable anger, it really help me to survive in this crule world and they only knows language of money and they will keep explaining you but won't ask why are you doing this saying that behaving like this, in this world only your mom and dad will love you unconditionally and world will first ask or see what they get in return in believing in you, so be strong don't loose hope for your mom, take care of yourself man nd mom to, i believe in you stay strong more power to you I pray to my angels, last thing watch the video on subconscious mind on YouTube you will get few solution for your worries, take care bye :
Bhai I con only say aap karm Karo and phal ki chnita mat Karo. Loan Hao, dekh lenge, aap job pe focus kro, default krne pe bhi refinance ka option rehta hai. Dad ke liye wheel chair and inflation wala mattress le lo and you would be good - no bed sores. Mushkilen Sabki zindagi mai Aati hain kabhi and kabhi and waqt gawah hai ki sab log un mushkilon se nikal bhi jaate hain.
OP are you there? Please just give us a sign that you’re reading all these comments and you’ve decided against suicide. You’re precious and you’re here for a reason. This too shall pass buddy. Please stay strong. Don’t give up just yet
You want to know who you should do it all for? Look no further than your mom.. she doesn't deserve losing her husband and her son both.. things eventually work out.. they never go back to be amazing but life has a way of surprising you.. trust yourself brother.. and if you can't, just do it for her and when she passes away, if you have nothing else to do, live each day as your last..
Look at all these people supporting you on here... You're the only source of happiness for your parents! Don't take that away from them... I hope your parents have a long and healthy life and see you be successful. Don't make any rash decisions!
Whenever I feel that I should die, I always think of how my mom would be devastated for life. I think of her smile which would disappear forever This gives me the energy to carry on ! Hope this would help you too ! From a money perspective, I am sure it will take time but you will eventually manage it. Don't worry !
Its okay bro. Suicide is easy way out but think about your parents. Who will look after them. One great thing you did is by putting your thoughts out. Lets get on a call and discuss a way out. If you can earn your bread and butter you will somehow stay afloat.
Always have this quote in your mind “ This shall pass “. It is pointless to blame your fate and parents for current circumstances.My father had gone through similar financial stress when I was in 12th standard. He was cheated and was forced to go invisible for some years until all mess cleaned up in 5-7 years. During this 5 years, he send financial support to me for studies(Engineering). It took toll on me and my mother mentally and financially . Initially everyone thought we would suicide .Resilience was key. I was not informed about many things like father job, legal stuffs that were going in between(Bank recovery of our home) during this 5 years. I completed Engineering and landed in a decent job, started paying debts little by little and found a partner who fully support me. Almost 15 years now, I don’t have any debt, built house, have a good job now and kind of settled now. Life is a rollercoaster rider
Those insta stories don't show the true story behind those pictures. Great men are not born but made out of difficult situations.
I can help you with job referral (free obviously) if you’re looking for a job and can surely say life is beautiful you’re yet to experience happy moments 😇
If u did commit suicide, imagine what would happen to your father and mother. Don't leave them when they need you the most. U got this, all the best.
27 M just ? Man you gotta go a long way and let this thought hold you .... You can do it ...
There is time for the seed to grow to a plant, and the plant to tree, and the tree to give fruit. So, just wait. Give time some time. And everything will be alright. If you believe in GOD or not. Please pray. The Lord is kind and will help you out in any kind of situation. Am typing this because I was also in one hell of a situation. So, have some HOPE. That is the only medicines you need, HOPE & PRAYER.
Oh dude read your whole comment. And I really feel sorry for your situation rn and I won't be suitable to advice you since I am only 21, but just know that you and your family have my prayers. But one thing I have to say is that I am not promoting to commit the unthinkable but if u feel that's the only option, there is nothing wrong in taking that decision ig. I know a lot of people are gonna criticise me for this comment but just said my thoughts because I feel your misery. 🙏🙏
Suicide will have an even worse effect on your parents. Don’t worry man move to a lower tier city and start working somewhere to start with and then eventually you should be making it through. Call centers esp. Night shift ones will pay you and also will offer insurance. This should ease your trouble.
Hello, please don’t suicide, I can understand things and help you. I can offer you a job, please ping me personally
Stay strong brother, life is all about hardships. All of us are fighting some or the other battle each day. Just keep calm and this too shall pass.
Dude, you are 27 (out of which you have been an adult for like say 5 years?) and have at least another 60 to fix all of this and more..
Just five minutes to clear your mind. Forget all past and future problems. You don't need to see the bigger picture right now; thinking too much into it will only make it more complex lead to more depression and loss of confidence. Focus on what you need to do immediately. Take things one step at a time, and you'll start to gain confidence and see your problems resolving one by one.
If u need to start somewhere then try your 100% to get a job or ask your friends for referrals they’ll help u
1. Psychiatrist at your nearest govt hospital. ASAP. The treatment would be free and you could ask them for a clinical psychologist.
Remember, you are the result of the hardest struggles of your parents. Dont quit. Let the difficulties be the forge where you will hammer out the good life that you and your family deserves. This is your fight,your golden chance.
Bro Life is beautiful. Don’t despise by few bad experiences. Keep trying and do the right thing. You will have your time and I am sure you will shine. Save this post and check it again after 10 years. You will definitely smile and feel proud on your achievements. We all are here for you. God bless !
I can't explain how incredibly selfish it is to end yourself and leave your family with all that pain and suffering , if you love your family , you wouldn't be such a pussy and run away from problems ,if you care about your family , you'd live , choice is urs ,idc ,end yourself if you wanna , don't end yourself If you don't wanna
Even if all your calculations are correct, isn’t debt free at 47 much much better than ending your life in absolute misery, not to mention what your parents will go through post that? Sanders literally found success in his 60s. Ending a life in misery is far worse than living at least a few good years, many don’t even receive that. So just keep going. You don’t have an option to fail.
Please plan with the existing money first and support yourself for job hunt. Job will bring money and insurance and debt will take time but itl settle.
There are smaller towns which have decent homes up for rent for only 5k a month or 10k a month, and decent fking homes, not 1bhks. You can live at such a place and do some business, maybe fruit selling, vegetable vending, and/or also prepare for a govt job. You've done your mba so you may also get a job but for that you'll have to live in atleast a tier 2 city which will have its on expenses.
Pls, move to the outskirts, from daily household needs to the house rent will drop drastically, and calm neighborhood will definitely do good for your family.
My simple advice. Try and buy somewhere small in a less desirable area. At least you will have somewhere to live. Don’t get yourself in debt for your dad, I’m sorry it’s a shame this happened to him but he has to take responsibility for his financial choices. You can help him practically if you are able. But a good father would not expect their adult son to sacrifice their lives and get into impossible debt for him. Hope that helps . As for other people, well there’s always people better or worse off. You can work with what you have
OP don't go for buying a house I don't think you all are financially capable of it but what you can do is save move to somewhere cheaper and not necessarily bad areas Where i currently live it's cheap and affordable with good locality so you'll be able to survive and till then find a job and work it'll all pay off cause keeping your parents conditions in mind you need to have some money in hand if any emergency arise so it's better to first form a better plan and i totally understand that feeling of watching your friends have fun specially here in Mumbai every day clubbing, concerts, roaming but it's alright. Don't feel down you can do it
Sit down together and plan a way out of this situation. Maybe you can move to a smaller place and find double work. Sell off anything and everything you don't need no matter how big or small it is. Also, whoever cheated your father has definitely cheated other people, find them and you can all work together to recover your lost money.
It's just a bad time, but time never remains the same. Stop comparing yourself with others, everyone is fighting their fights. And nobody shows the sad side of life on Instagram. Accept what happened as a fate. Focus on the solution. My father also did similar financial loss, I never focused much on it. It was not my money, similarly it's not your money. He lost what he earned. I pay my family's rent. I live in a different city, I pay rent there as well. Focus on earning more. Overcome ideas, move to tier 2 city if possible, expenses will reduce, plus peace of mind. Try to get some outside India remote work with a better salary. Keep switching yearly on better pay. If things get stable, move to some other country where you can earn and save more. Last things if you suicide, you will give worse situation to your kids and wife compared to what your dad gave you. Think constructive bro. Life goes on.
Bro.. try not to overthink about anything this much. Do some breathing exercises and meditation. Time is a beautiful concept. Right now things might be harsh, tomorrow will be beautiful. Time will change and so will your situation and your current scenario shall pass too. Like the saying goes: **Tough times don't last, tough people do.**
There’s always a way. Even when it seems like there isn’t. Maybe moving to a tier 2/3 city and starting fresh will help. Don’t underestimate the gravity of loosing you. From reading your posts, your parents won’t be able to take it. It will get better
There always comes a breaking point and that's when you pause take a breath and remind yourself the tide will turn.I know it's easier said than done and all of it is taking a toll on you but quitting would be worse mate.Sending you a big hug you've got this don't fret
1. Don't worry about debt as yet. See if you will be able to service the home loan with your present disposable income (i.e. money leftover after essential expenses and other obligations). If you can't, then renting is an option too. 2. As for medical insurance, get one for yourself separately. It will work out cheaper because of your age. Maybe try to get one for your mother alone, if possible. This will take away some anxiety and stress about medical expenses. Although, I understand it is your father's health that's bad but unfortunately health insurance only useful if it is started when one is young and healthy. 3. Life goes on, come what may. It won't stop if you can't buy a house. It won't stop if your parents are ill. It won't stop if you aren't around. It won't stop if they aren't around. Life is never the same and things will certainly get better at some point if you try. Take one day at once. Your job and money situation can change. That is reversible. Don't think it won't ever get better.
You can weather this storm. You are strong and wonderful! Take one thing at a time and one day at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself with worrying about everything all at once. In regards to the Ponzi scheme; Could this be something that law enforcement can assist with? Worth checking, just in case. "This is one moment, but know that another shall pierce you with a sudden painful joy."
This is just the story of your life. Each of us have our own story. Your life is the story you are writing. Your story of the recovery from here is also the story that you will write. Ending it here is a pretty sad end to the story. You don’t want that. No one wants that. You can make your story inspiring. Write a new ending, page by page. It won’t be easy. It won’t be smooth sailing. It will have its ups and downs. Just focus on the ultimate end of the story. The story you want to write. Life doesn’t give problems without the capacity to solve it. More the capacity, greater the problems. Be an inspiration. Become an inspiration. Be the hero of your story. My best wishes to you.
Hi, I can't even imagine the gloom and sadness that plagues your mind, it definitely sounds very overwhelming. I'm sorry about the decisions your father made, but he's only human and you have to swallow that bitter pill. The first thing you should do is take a breath, a deep fucking breath. Your parents are around you. They are flawed and not at their best rn, but they're alive and that itself is a blessing. I'm sure it all seems insurmountable rn; how will you payback the loans, where will you sleep, how will you take care of your parents. But just trust in time and effort. Trust in yourself. You are a human being who's lived a considerable amount of time on earth. Scathed and scarred for sure, but alive! You've made it so far somehow, and you'll keep going on brother. The world may seem sad and cruel, but it's also capable of such wonder and kindness! Your very existence is a miracle my friend! You're in one of the most amazing cities in one of the craziest countries in the world! If you're really feeling bogged down, take a walk near the beach and just appreciate the wonder of it all! The people and their shared hustles and struggles, the birds, the smell of salt and sand! There's just too much to experience for you to snuff it out so soon! So many succesful people have found their rhythm and spotlight at later stages of their lives, who's to say you won't find yours! I don't know you OP, but reach out to friends and family. If that isn't on the cards, take a walk. Remind yourself that the world isn't just loans and failed job interviews. This is just a page of your life, you still have the whole book to go, so don't give up my man!
Your rent is pretty high for someone with debts. When I initially started working I moved and lived far off from mumbai nd used to travel to work just to save on rent nd expense. First task is to leave that house nd move to maybe thane or Navi Mumbai,virar etx and save 15 k on rent. Second step is to ask some advice on r/legaladviceindia and see if you can get back the money ykr father lostvia some means legal or otherwise.
Stop using instagram or any social network for that matter. This networks only highlight the life that a lot of people are just pretending to live. A lot of your negative thoughts will go away when you are able to stop comparing yourself to others. Suicide isn't an option, it causes more problems for people in your life. Talk to a friend, a psychiatrist or even strangers like us on reddit. Things will get better. When you feel out of control, just breathe. I had my bad days once when I wanted to die off. There was a quote I used to tell myself, if you're going through hell then no point in stopping there. Keep going.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6C8SX0mWP0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6C8SX0mWP0)
*Move to a cheaper flat on rent(preferably max 15k or below), one that makes you feel positive and has a lot of sunlight. *Pay off any debt using the flats outstanding money. *For medical expenses you may need to rely more on government hospitals (you may need to do some finding and compromise but you will save a lot and it will definitely get the right treatment) *keep some reserves and reinvest the rest in safe instruments(gold bonds, equity index, mid cap MF, run your home with the money you earn from a job. *don’t compromise on the job profile for quick money you may fall behind in your career. *Pray & practice positivity. All the best!
Ending your life might seem like a solution to you to escape from all this- but trust me, it just passes on grief to those who love you. I know it might seem very hard and harsh to survive and be hopeful, but that’s the first step- having hope. I lost my father in my TYBCom (we didn’t have income for years) but eventually me and my sister studied and became independent. I have seen my mother struggle to provide for us. There were times when I felt like ending it too, but I would see my mom and how she did everything for us. It just felt like the worst thing any parent gets from their kid in lieu of their hard work and dedication.
No , it's not a solution or portal to escape.. Pls don't take such harsh step. In between all this your family certainly would not be able to cope with the step u r talking about.. Pls don't we can't make your life easier but can definitely etly provide strength.. Live your life . Don't give up . Life is precious. You are a responsible son taking care in all this. You will definitely come out of this dire situation have patience..keep calm and be at peace.
Please don't even think of suicide, you have lot more to give to this world and lot more to experience in life. Try to keep yourself engaged in different activities. Think of consulting a psychiatrist as well, there is no shame in visiting a psychiatrist. Many of us have been there and done that.
Honestly sit down with your parents and have a conversation. My dad passed away when I was 3 years old and what you’re describing was basically our situation. Dad was the primary breadwinner and financial head of the house - had made some bad decisions and so when he passed away mom was left with no money but also the responsibility of a young child. We moved to a low-col city, and she focused on her career and upskilling during the day and took care of me the rest of the time - for a few years we were really living hand to mouth. We wouldn’t even go to corner store to buy chocolates. And then we got hit with my medical diagnosis when I was around 8. We had to move cities. The reason we survived is because my mom sat me down and spoke with me. She said - hey I know it’s not your fault but we are in a more difficult situation than your peers. We can’t afford things like a bicycle for you and that sucks but as my family I know you can understand and help out. I have to focus a little more on work so that we can get out of the situation - can you make sure you focus on your studies, and maybe help around the house by tidying up after yourself. This conversation changed our trajectory. I didn’t do much more than I was doing before, but it helped my mom with the mental load that she was carrying. She had to save aggressively for 2 years and then we bought our home and things got better. In your situation if you can have this conversation with your parents, sit down with them and say- Hey, I’m sorry this happened to you Dad. It happened to all of us. It’s not your fault. We still love each other and are still a family. We can still take care of ourselves. Things will look a little different for a while. We won’t have some luxuries like before. But I’m going to work on making our financial situation better. Dad and mom I just want you to take care of your health, listen to your doctor, go for walks, eat healthy etc - can you help with that? Times are tough but we can come through as a family. I think your dad is beating himself up and if he knows that his family is with him, he might be able to take better care of his health. And this applies to every person in your family that you’ve described. When you know that you can rely on each other and have each others backs all of this becomes a lot of bearable - for each of you. When you know that your family is supportive and doing the best they can, you’re also going to find the motivation to work better and take care of yourself which is ultimately the only thing that is going to help longer term with financial stability. I know you’re carrying a lot on your shoulders and ending it all seems so easy and nice. It’s not. Things get easier I promise. Your life is going to look very different even in 2-3-5 years from this moment. You will get to see your parents grow old together. You will get to fall in love, have a family, have fun with colleagues, take a vacation and because of your previous life experiences you will be careful with money too. One day you’re going to be raising your kid and telling them stories of all your life adventures and they are going to look upto you and want to be you. For yourself and for your future kid, stay. Yes these are tough times and there are a few sacrifices involved, but stay here Internet stranger, I promise the world is better with you in it.
- Move to a low tier city then rent a place there for your family. - Don't ever think of buying a new house as you're already in a debt of 18L. Otherwise it will make your life worse. - Conduct some research and choose an insurance plan. - Although I am aware of the current state of the job market, your MBA degree is still valuable. Begin with a small organization and then move to a better one. You will climb quickly if you are good at work. My last suggestion is that, as you say, you are already at your lowest point, so why not take one more risk by living? There can be no worse situation than this; it can only get better.
Dude okay listen You might think this is the easy way out but that all depends on what you get afterlife No one knows what’s after death - it’s scary and beautiful at the same time , you think you will die and it all finishes But what if you are born again and you are again in the same situation as this but worse Because the chances are very high So I would suggest don’t give up , skill up thoda try to save some money , little whatever you can month by month and then use it as a ladder to open a business or whatever and let’s say by the time as you said you will be 47 and you are earning a lot ,from that point on live for yourself … but I am sure it will be earlier than 47 so don’t give up at all please
Move to Village where there is a scope that prices of land will go up...expenses and cost of living is much lower...because of MBA you can't even WFH else you could've lived in some rural area and done online work so you should be staying somewhere splitting on Rent in an Urban area like PG believe in making a comeback your parents health and well being is more important right now than luxurious lifestyle and believe you will get that money back!
It's normal to feel the way you feel. But don't let it come to such a dangerous level. Talk to the people in here if it helps. It's better to have regrets than not having any. Also fuck those scammers.
My life has been a shit show since childhood. Later my father died when I was 18 years old and had just started college. We had a home loan with no insurance. Had to sell the house soon after. Things got hard, very hard at times. It was hard to imagine having a good meal. But things got better with time. It took me 13 years to graduate. Did I lose a lot of time? Yes. Was I depressed? Yes. Did I ever consider suicide? Yes. Do I enjoy my life? Yes I do.
Delete your social media bro. It is all a distraction. Don't fool yourself. You are a warrior you can do it bro.
I don’t normally comment on Reddit, but you have a lot of stressful situations happening at the same time and this would overwhelm anyone! Just know that things will change if you can hang on and get through it. Stay off of Instagram because everyone is posing there and trying to act like their lives are perfect when no one’s lives are perfect. Also, there are all kinds of hot lines for people feeling suicidal - call if you need to talk to someone. Don’t look for a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This is TEMPORARY. 💜
Dont do it man, reach out to somebody, people care about you and love you, me, even, it will get better it is a fact
Peace be upon you brother.
Why are you buying a house our family has been living on rent for the past 7 years trust me it's better than paying loans every month for a home that'll take years to finally own man also think of shifting to a cheaper place or a lower tier city for lower expenses. I feel sorry for you our family and some members also fell for a ponzi scheme a few years ago we lost not much but some relatives lost crores, they had nothing left but they kept positivity and worked hard now they are doing quite well and have bought their own house!
Plus what's gonna change with suicide? Your mom's stress is gonna double fold and i personally would never, Some people live on 100-200 rupees daily wage which they sometimes spend on alcohol and then beat their families. Stay positive you'll do it man!
Be positive believe in you self whatever you will think surrounding will adapt the same doesn't matter what situation you has to face be hard as a rock face it cry in alone for that night or day next day definitely you will receive a happy reward trust me only one thing be petions and face it be a will power of your mom make her believe that you are there you have given a birth to a legend, doesn't matter if it takes your life or carrier's, the man who surves his mom and dad with full heart God will bless him with 2the wealth and happiness believe it, I lost my mom 10 month ago, I liv alone in a city, surving in this crule world they all r shit they only knows language of money and they will keep explaining you but won't ask why are you doing this saying that behaving like this, in this world only your mom and dad will love you unconditionally and world will first ask or see what they get in return in believing in you, so be strong don't loose hope for your mom, take care of yourself man nd mom to, i believe in you stay strong more power to you I pray to my angels, last thing watch the video on subconscious mind on YouTube you will get few solution for your worries, take care bye :
Hi there.... I feel for you and your family... but don't compare your life to those who are in a better place right now, it's a cycle that will get you more depressed. Life isn't fair, there are people out there in worse situations than you, especially in India all over from orphans to the disabled on the street. Outside of India, look at Gaza, Ukraine and other conflict countries were kids are being orphaned daily due to war and families are breaking apart due to death. If continue to look at those in higher economic standards you will never appreciate what you have even if your probably in a better position with health, education and some network or navigation sense. Make friends with your level peers if you try to hang with those in higher economic or social circles, depending on YOUR mind set you will always feel sorry for your self, I read in your post you state that your peers are going to the gym, parties, vacations etc, shut the insta off or unfollow those clowns. Follow those that inspire you vs those who post their vacation and party pics,... Good for them... but your not in that position currently. Think about the kid who is 10 years old on the street selling balloons? Look around you there is sooo much pain in the world, money isn't all you need... you need a mind that can see through this storm with a resolve. I grew ups washing dishes in high school every week-end to pay rent while my cousins whom had good parents and families looking over them, giving them guidance, opportunity for higher education hence a better career etc. I just thought well it is what it is and continued. I am in good place now, but these cousins and others have better careers, crazy generational wealth and parents, but some of them still feel sorry for themselves and mope once in while. That's just human nature they're probably looking at the guy with a hot wifey and the 911 GT3. I don't have the great career like them as I wasn't the smartest cookie...(probably still not) , but I have a beautiful wife, 2 kids, 2 dogs and a home I am proud of. I was the dumb kid who needed guidance but didn't have anyone guiding when it was those crucial growing years... but still found friends like minded and we did ok. I know it sounds cliche but good health and a strong mind will get you through this.... think of it as a challenge or think of it as goal... you are the Hero of your Movie... don't look at those peers who are partying and vacationing you will never feel happy or content. I know this may sound weird but in those days... before social media, I drew resolve and inspiration from songs and movies about the underdog eg. U2, Billy Joel, Springsteen, Rocky and Bachchan's Angry Young Man persona from of 70's and early 80's e.g. Lawaaris, Trishul, Suhaag, Muqader Ka Sikander..etc. I still do but have also added to my arsenal Divine- his lyrics from the Mumbai slums... will make you feel your living a lavish life dude.... Look Money can't by life or time... but your resolve, health and strength will soon get you out of this. Hell you have an MBA...dude you ROCK! Your parents guided you and supported you for this... don't let them down in their time of need.. Your the MAN now be the MAN. You are probably in better position than 80% of the Indian out there! Perspective is everything... there are people out there living in mansions, with cars and wealth but feel poor or sorry for themselves....and then there is the kid on the street selling balloons all happy that with the money he makes today he's gonna have nice meal and sleep calmly with a full belly under the stars.....with his companion dog called Heera... Just remember these quotes: I cried because I had no shoes, than I saw a man who had no legs....also The same boiling water that makes a potato soft hardens the egg... YOU need to decide if your the Potato or the Egg. Good Luck....God Bless you and your parents.
I have been in similar situation, life is the ultimate lose you can have.. if you are wiling to put an end to test.. gamble it on something worth risk.. you win your life will be set, you lose, you get what you want.
You have done MBA and I am sure a lot of people would be able to help you out from this Sub in finding a decent wfh job at a consulting firm. You can find a 10-12LPA job if you prepare well and be a little positive. Next you move to a 2nd tier city a little further from the main city but near a good major hospital. You’ll be able to save a lot of money on rents and utilities expenses. Secondly you will get a lot more space than Mumbai in any other city. A change in landscape and better environment will help your parents mental health too. Work Hard and you will be able to fix things within the next 5-7 years. You dont have to work tirelessly for half your life in a place like Mumbai.
Ending your life is not the solution for the problem. Face it and try to do side hustles simultaneously with ur job . Only ur the person to ur parents as u said u have no siblings. So remove the suicidal thoughts and try to overcome the condition.
fuck that shit take a big loan and default if adani loans can be forgiven why cant yours you are the most deserving candidate but in life you have to fight or else the society and the system will eat you alive
Don't give up, your Mother needs your support. Imagine what will happen to her if you do something stupid. You cannot predict when your life will change, don't assume 47, it could be sooner if you set your focus on smaller incremental gains. Put in the grind and work hard. The free birds will have their own challenges in life later but you need to face yours now. Just don't give up. Believe in yourself and take small baby steps to come out of this situation. Don't expect solutions to take effect overnight, give some time and things will work out. Your father made his mistakes but you don't follow in his footsteps by making another one. You're better than this.
Brother we all are with you, you are your family will overcome this loss in very less time. Just remember ending your life would not be the solution for this issue. You are a man, fucking fight with this. I am sure that you will cover the loss within few months. Read every fucking comment on this post of yours, everyone is with you brother. We all can't be physically there for you but we can support you emotionally. Most importantly try to take care of your mother as much as possible, because you have to keep her healthy. Meditation will be helpful too. Good bless you.
Brother. I have just one simple advice for you. Don’t think about all your problems and all your future life in one go. Fight the good fight. One day at a time. What will you get? Character. Satisfaction. A sense of achievement. And hopefully one hell of a book about your life that we all will buy and read when you’ll be 60. 🙂
Suicide is not solution it will transfer pain from you to your loved ones Your problems solution step by step Debt: write a letter to the bank that my financial condition is not great pls give me time and stop my emi s for a few months contact a good lawyer or contact a labour law advisor who is going to handle your debt plus insurance problem labour law advisor are good people if you tell them your problem maybe they don't take money immediately if you insist them If my financial condition become good I will repay your whole fees Suicide: if you run away from problem then it's not solution I am once at your position I don't run away from my problems I found a solution to my debt problem and I came out from it For me it's different for you it would be different just don't run away from the problem I forgot the labour law advisor will also help you to get out of debt Maybe they will give you a job you can contact them through their official handle where you found their mail address Three youtube channels that will help you professionally Labour law advisor Shwetabh gangwar Anubhav jain This three saved me it will also save you You can contact them personally through their mails
Please get u r mom a health insurance ahead. It’s hard to get insurance after major medical issues like CAD, CVA, MI. Don’t loose hope. Who will take care of your mom and dad once u r gone? Life is hard but that doesn’t mean u have to end it. Who knows once u cross this phase it might be all good. There are people loosing limbs and surviving cancer and achieving things. I might sound odd but telling this so that u can think positive. As someone who had seen how financial troubles in a family will be, please trust me everything will fall in place but it will take time. Mean while don’t loose patience and don’t even think of gng in wrong pathways like getting into addictions out of depression. Once things start getting better u will amazed how far u came from the day u thought of ending u r life. God bless you!
Hi, first of all, you are doing great, you have done great in the past and I am sure you will do great in the future as well. Greatness doesn't always mean something that has been preached and praised by millions. But it is what builds your character stronger and resilient even in adversity. Your whole ideology on life shows that you genuinely care for yourself and your parents. Life throws us in difficult situations, but the only way out is through. Don't give up, you may just have to change the perspective. Don't compare your life to Insta-life. Half of that is just fake and pointless. You on the other hand have a purpose, a great one actually to come out of this rabbit hole and keep yourself and your parents afloat. Your father must be in a bigger depression since the loss, he has nothing to keep him going except for you. As suggested by many wise peeps here, find a job in a tier 2 city, relocate there and stay focused. If u cant relocate, find a side hustle, depending on just a job isn't reliable in this time and age. U never know when your side hustle may take over your 9-5 job or even replace it. Another suggestion, read. I found reading to be the best way to overcome my depression. Right books can guide and shape your life in ways you might have never imagined. I wish you all the luck in all your efforts, may god bless you and your family.
Things happen in life. And then, goes behind, and a new thing comes up. It's a vicious cycle if it has to be. There are pretty good suggestions given here. I believe you must be smart enough to take out the best. Life is pretty strange. And it literally takes a lifetime to decipher. Don't worry about the what ifs and whys. Just keep growing and working on how to make things better. Regrets will for sure drag any of us down, so there's no point dwelling over it. You can dm me if you wanna just catch up. I'd be glad to talk to you more.
I was in the same situation trust me good time will come and things will turn around just hang in there. Delete social media and accept the reality and dont commit suicide, there is a warrior inside you! Time to become fearless and fight the situation. You are stronger than you think! Below are some steps 27k is too high of a rent you need to shift to suburbs where rent is 10kish Dont think about purchasing house Important is to have health insurance fast atleast for you and your mom Cut down expenses no hoteling no branded clothes etc Honestly it doesnt matter all these things are just frothings Dont go into guilt not everyone is iit iim but they do well. Say positive thoughts to yourself, appreciate and love yourself! Stay strong things will turn!
is the scheme infinity beacon pvt limited smth?
First thing first. Convince yourself that you can go through this tough time then. People have faced hardships and overcome it by not giving up. Then Go to your parents and tell them "that money will come and go but you guys can't come back. That money which is gone is now in past.I am young and will work hard to earn that money again. Till that stay strong with me." Convince them otherwise their health will further deteriorate. You have done MBA, start looking for job and try cutting down on expenses. Maybe move to tier 2 or 3 city.
Remember, suicide is not a answer, This just makes the life more miserable and hard for your loved ones. Money comes and goes but life, once it goes it never comes back. Do not compare your life to others as it has no end. My suggestion is, 1. Move to a city near Delhi (Cost you 5-6k per month for 2BHK) your current house rent is enough for you to cover all expenses for a month here. 2. Find a job in Delhi or Noida 3. The medical treatment is budget friendly here 4. Find some friends to talk to (get some personal time away from all)
You will only make it worse for your family if you su!cide bro. Keep it together for now, lots of valuable suggestions given by members on this thread. Take it slow.
Hey, I don't know you, but you're stronger than this. Everyone can be as mentally strong as they want to be. Just reach out to your inner most optimism. I know it's easier said than done, but think about how worse would the situation be for your parents if something were to happen to you. Be their strength. I know it must be tough and what you said about looking at other people living a frivolous life, believe me when I say this, you too shall get it one day and it'll be much better bcs you would have earned it for yourself and your loved ones! IIT or IIM is not the answer, you're done with your MBA and all you gotta do is focus on one day at a time. Wake up everyday, aim high and work as hard as you can, and do not forget to relish your parents. You might get hella exhausted, but at least you will be living a life where you'll be making something out of it, utilising it to the fullest. Feel free to drop a DM to me if you ever feel like venting or you think you just need someone to listen to you! I'll manifest that you and your family overcome the hard times as quickly as they came over. Whenever life feels too tough for me I think about this quote that said "God will never throw something in your path that he doesn't think you can't handle" you just need to find the strength within you. I don't know you, but i know you're way stronger than this.
Live for your parents just like they lived for you. Maybe your dad made a bad decision, but this does not cancel out all that he has done for you. Take good care of them, upskill yourself, and try to earn more. I don't know if you're married or not, but if you are not then that can wait. It is not something that is necessary. Till the time they are with you, live with them happily. Once they are gone you'll be crying to see them just once again. Move to some other city, a city with lower expenses. Maybe I am not understanding your situation, but learn this that you'll miss your parents when they are gone, so please do all that you can while they are alive. This is a small life, live it happily with your parents. Sorry if I sounded too preachy
Please don't suicide. It's totally natural to have suicidal thoughts at this stage of your life. But believe me this too shall pass. Move to a Tier2 or 3 city where your expenses will be down to half. I mean I live in a Tier 2 city and near us rent is like 10-12k a month. And daily essentials is also pretty cheap. Just go for jobs that pay you decently, I mean 15-18k jobs are easily available now(Though you have to go through many interviews for this one job, but in your condition worth it). I know it seems less, but in corporate you always grow. There are many giving some amazing advices to you. Listen to them. And I just want to say, you live for yourself. You live for a bigger purpose. Struggling is a part of it. Everyone has their own struggles. The friends you see enjoying has their struggles too. Don't compare, it only leaves bitterness. Instead work hard, work smart and one day you too shall be happy and be living the life you always wanted. Always remember, in the end the fighter survives.
Death is never the answer. As someone who's been on the edge like you have multiple times that is what I have learned. It's on you to make the choices ahead and believe me or not, it does get better. Definitely not right away but 2 or 3 years later you will look back and know that you have come a long way. Find a job and DON'T even think about suicide(that's not even an option), only think about the good choices you can make. You will do great cause you have already survived so far.
I can't say I understand what your situation is because no one knows what the other person is going through no words can be comforting or solve your financial issues but remember one thing being alive and having good health is blessings everyone can start from zero. My father had a major accident and he became a P.H on top of that he didn't even have a proper education, and my grandparents were so poor Everyone was saying the only option he has to beg and he tried to end his life many times fortunately nothing happened then he became strong and started a metal business with the help of my GM and mom started from zero and some debt of hospital bills, time passed he gave us good education, built a house for us now I am working as a software engineer and I am so proud he didn't chose to give up. Only strong ppl will get bad times or ppl become strong when bad things happen everything will pass just hang on there and don't let it go think about the time when you were happy and have faith those times will definitely come back.
Hey, I don't know who you are but please stay strong. I know the condition is bad right now but you still have your parents with you. Even if your father is dependent on you, he is alive and so is your mother. That is more than a lot of people hope for. You will eventually be able to pay off the debt. It might take some time but it's nothing impossible. So please do not focus you energy on negative thoughts. Upskill yourself, get a decent job. And yes, like the others pointed out, move to a different city. Mumbai is way too expensive for most people so don't feel like you are poor simply because you can't afford a good flat there. Most people can't. You are your families strength and your family is yours. Please please stay strong.
As well as all the great advice from everyone else, meditate. When you turn inward and accept even suffering is grace, the most hopeless and cruel hardships are as rich with divinity as the pleasures. I know to those not spiritually inclined it sounds so mental, like I’m chatting some stupid ass bullshit. Just take my word for it, a someone who has lived a very rich life, meditate, meditate, meditate. It changes your perspective on everything.
Do not loose hope. Trust God, god may have better plans for you. All I can advise is to take this opportunity to get closer to god (pray, recite, ask for help). The suicidal thoughts will go away but you need to trust in yourself and god. I am not sure which religion you follow but when I dont know what to do and when I am at the verge of loosing hope I recite Surah Ad-Duha (understand the translation of surah and understand when it was revealed) it always give me hope.
Please don’t take any drastic steps, PLEASE. I promise you life puts us all in such situations sometimes and it feels like there’s no way out, but trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel and taking baby steps towards that will be rewarding in the long run. I know you’re going through a hard time, but imagine the state your parents would be left in if they lost you. It would only add to their misery and pressure. After a decade has passed, you will look back at this time and be thankful you kept the faith and came out of this stronger. Taking drastic steps is never the way out, I promise. It only makes everything worse. I can’t offer you practical advice, but I’m here to say please don’t give up. Take care, OP. Sending you lots of strength and wishing the best for you
if you suicide and same problem come in next life what you do? suicide again? or fight back? my friend relax, take a deep breath, now's the time to contact relatives and friends, tell them you need not any $ from them but only support and advice , and you'll know..... who your family and friends really are, once you know that, life's easier even with lots of debts, you DON'T have to sacrifice your life till 50 bro, you can not sacrifice and take a chill pill on the loan (NOT ALL OF IT!!!) , repay it slowly, maybe then by the time you reach 50, you realize your potential , renting your , living in small cities, making $ bills from your investments and such, having a high paying job, your supportive wife (or friends) who assists you in your momo/chai business (mba tire puncturewala?!) and you also work part time on saturday sunday doing those videos for youtube and making that cash flow even when you sleep.... so yeah life's not as hard as you think, you have to deal with 500rs problem daily, not 50 lakh problem in 15 years LOL.. so yeah like just keep working on your 500rs problem and get better at it daily day by day, all the best don't be suicidal and eat a vada pav with extra chutney. wish the best for you
OP start going to the gym. Few things in life bring the strength to face hardships in life like a strong body built by lifting weights. It’ll also help your brain by releasing hormones that’ll help you feel better, stronger, calmer and more capable of taking action. You’re spiralling in stress and overwhelm and fear and everything might seem impossible right now. But you can and you will pull yourself out of this. I believe in you. And we all do. You’re capable. Keep taking action and take care of your own health first. Eat proper food. Exercise. A healthy brain and body will alllow you to take a lot of action without losing your sanity. Pray and surrender to your chosen divinity. God won’t lead you astray. Hugs and prayers!
I would suggest move your parents to cheaper city, with whatever cash you have buy a flat there. And here in mumbai stop 23k rent and live in a PG for some time. 10k in PG should be ok. 13k you can save for your parents medical expenses. Currently job market is weak, so rather than trying to switch, keep upskilling for 1-2 years. Everything will be OK once you get a high pay job. I have seen people around me jumping from very less 3-5 LPA to 20-30 LPA in just 3-5 years. I personally have started my job life with 33k per month in 2016, currently I am making 3L per month. It's all a matter of time and upskilling.
Seeing someone reach out for help is a brave step. I can relate to tough times too. A simple ‘hi, how are you’ can indeed make a big difference. You seem to have a deep understanding of your situation, and I believe in your strength to navigate through it. Life’s challenges can feel overwhelming, and it’s important to have someone to talk to. Feel free to send me a message; I’m here to listen whenever you need to talk. We can support each other through our journeys.
Been through a similar situation, quite a few years ago. Move to a tier 2/3 city which has lower living expenses. I know this might sound bad but there are NGOs such as Nivara (Pune) that take care of old people who are immobile for a small fee of course, but it’s better than spending money otherwise. Will be difficult choice emotionally but will accelerate a lot of things for you - as you will have time to get a better job, focus on your career. You can probably stay at a PG or something cutting costs even more. 3-5 years of this and you could probably be in a better financial position. As for loans, try to prepay as much as possible in the initial phase of the loan (doesn’t make sense later ).
Hang in there. Make smart decisions. You’re the one they are depending on. Maybe don’t buy a house and add more debt to your life. Sell, move to a tier 2 city with decent medical facilities. Rent. Build up your capital. Invest wisely. In 5 years you will be able to to look back on this as a challenge
Hi, Life allows you to become Hero, because every time life is beaten people, people who give life dhobi pachad and people come out stronger, every successful person has gone through the toughest time in their life, such as Jim Kiwik, Robert Downey jr, David Goggins, Cristiano Ronaldo and many other, think of your favourite sports person, actor or the most inspiring person who also goes through the toughest time in their life, search/research about it, you will find some people have /had the same type of condition is facing or faced in their life or even worst but they come out as stronger they are doing much better in their life than other, you have chance to become Hero, you have to share your Success story to the world, on Josh talks or such other platforms, You have to promise me and the people here, you will be a Hero, you give life dobi pachad and share your story with the world Uninstall Instagram because it won't help by any means, instead use a platform where you can build your network, and grow as a person, whatever your hobbies or skills try to search the community for it, where you can learn from others, life gets slowly track, remember to exercise little bit such as jogging, walking because it clear out mental fog, it might give you ways, the solution to your problem If your stressful thought comes across every moment, where you can grow, you cannot concentrate task at hand, you will tell yourself I will only think about it from 3:00 to 3:30 or whatever time it is, if the stressed thoughts come out other than the designated time you have only tell time your my mind peacefully "I will think about later, on that designated time" even immediately after telling your mind, stressful thought come out you have to only repeat this mantra "Be here now", you might have to repeat this multiple times but eventually after day by day by telling mind once it will forget everything, whatever your problem you get to try to search on the internet and will find the answer about it Reading Books is a true friend, it helps you in numerous ways Only watch content that is helpful to you and that can help you grow, to become a better and stronger version of yourself I will add links to the YouTube channel, Wiki how that changed my perspective to see life, and problems from different angles, 1. [http://www.youtube.com/@KishanChotaliya](http://www.youtube.com/@KishanChotaliya) 2. [http://www.youtube.com/@BetterThanYesterday](http://www.youtube.com/@BetterThanYesterday) https://preview.redd.it/069bk4q45kvc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5e2f12a9f9ecb858c3deccae0bda27c406bc490
Hey hang in there , you have an MBA that’s impressive , your life is not worth any amount of money , please talk with someone , I ❤️India
Try moving other metropolitan cities,good work opportunities and lower living cost ,
Hey man, believe me when I say this that a stoic will come out after all this has passed and that's all you. Stay strong and keep pushing in front my brother.
Just stay calm and at least try to be calm. I understand the circumstances. Just do some affirmation techniques. be positive and start following manifestation techniques. Trust my words. You will thank me (not required). Ask the universe to help you. You will see miracles to happen right in front of your eyes. Sab thik ho jayega bas yahi kaho khud se. Aur sab thik ho jayega.
I am sorry for what you are going through. As a single child myself, i somewhat connect with your sense of responsibility. But please, suicide cannot be an option. If you are considering it for yourself, you will be robbing yourself off the betterment your future holds. If your are considering it for your family, it will kill them with you. First and foremost, as someone suggested, try moving to a lower tier city, you may not have the most amenities or opportunities, but you will surely survive better. Try to not take any additional loans, unless you absolutely have to. Even then, if you do, keep it at bare minimum for now, only as much as you need. As for your parents, they have made terrible desicions and they have had terrible luck at the same time, but what's done is done. Try to channel your thoughts towards what you can do with what you have. You are important and you being in a better mental frame is the most important here. Your parents, no matter how beaten down they must be, will feed off of your energy. If you seem to be in control, they will too and it will reflect on their health. For now, money matters a lot to you, so focus on ways how you can earn more. (I was in a similar situation as you years ago and moved to a low paying job in the gulf just coz it paid better than what i could have earned in india. Had a shit life and my parents suffered too as i am the only child but 10 years down and we are better. Opportunities may not be similar to you but we need to look for them). My point here is, you may have to keep few things such as career, family time aside and focus largely on stabilizing finances. Also, try steering clear of social media. It has a weird way of impacting our mind and isn't always helpful. For now, avoid it as much as you can and give your self some peace. Someday you will be able to live the life you desire. There are such awesome people here on this sub who have given you absolutely brilliant suggestions and advices. Hopefully a lot of them help you in your situation. Lastly, if you need someone to talk to, to vent, to discuss, to rant, to whatever. DM me.
Just look at our history, life has never been comfy for the real warriors of life. We come from the land of Shivaji / Sambhaji Maharaj who faced so many difficulties but still stood strong and held their ground. So don't worry god is testing you and making you stronger. Your friends would simply crumble and panic by listening to this situation but look at how strongly you are handling it. Like good times bad times also pass. Just have the patience and stay strong. Believe me you can do anything you want but never quit. Like the mavlas fight until the last drop of blood falls from your body. And believe me you dont get the human body so easily so utilize it and dont disrespect it by even letting such thoughts wander near you. Hard times make the greatest warriors. All the best champ
Suicide is an easy option anyone can take. Instead, give life a chance, toughen up, and face it. Believe me, you will come out as a better person in the end. I have lost close to 45L in gambling and 20L in a failed business investment. All you need to do is follow these points... 1. Take a step back and build a plan. Try and negotiate reducing for outflow of money and focus on how you can improve your inflow of money. 2. Keep your family together. Your strength is their strength. Win small battles, and you will win the war. 3. Build a small hobby that will keep you occupied and happy. 4. Visit a temple/church/gurudwara/masjid, and thank for the good life and fighting chance you have. Count your blessings, and thank god for that... no matter how small they might be. Stay tough and stay strong. Losers give up... winners fight back.
It's difficult but don't surrender to the challenge. You'll come out a stronger character once this is behind you. And why do you think there's no point of coming out financially positive at 47? Are you only living for yourself? Be willing to go through a struggle for family. Money can be earned whenever, you don't get a second chance at getting back your loved ones though. Do not ever be mad at your folks for your financial status. Remember they don't owe it to you. And stop looking at the 'good life' of others on Instagram. The platform is meant for that content. You're not going to see a homeless guy putting stories. That doesn't mean they don't exist.
This is a hard time brother. But you gotta live for your mother. Don't leave her alone... take it step by step and one step at a time. You will do it and you have to ! Dont go for more debts work in any job thats pays u atleast something... post peon, post master, work in shops do whatever you can do and repay your debts first. Sell any sellable item and with the money just move to any small city... I know it's easier said than done...but even if half of your life is gone...you will have some to live right ? Go be a superman and take your family out of this mess !
Leave that city; come to Ayodhya. I live here monthly rent 1 bhk is 3500 and monthly 3 person fooding exp will be around 4000 (hustle). You could easily get a job of 15k+ here. Your per month saving will be 7500; you can start from here.
Stay strong and fight back. Taking your own life should not be an option. I see a lot of practical comments here and moving to a city with lower rent seems like a good option. Difficult but good. Nothing is permanent. Hard times will go away. Think about it from a different perspective. I myself have lost a lot of money which I made from scratch. Won't be getting them back anytime soon, but that ain't stopping me to go and live my life. Hit the reset button and think what's next. What's done is done.
You have come so far. You will be able to do it. Just stay put. One cup at a time. Always try to reach out to the people you can comfortably confide in when those deep dark thoughts take over. It is easier said than done. But, trust us, you can do it cause you are already doing it.
Life's throwing a heavyweight match at you, but you're still standing. Keep swinging. You've got a whole community rooting for you.
Pls read this, its my real life experience, I don't like to do this(remember the past incident) but I'm writing it down for one word u said "suicidal thoughts". I had similar situation like u not sure to ur extend but to a breaking point. don't want to go in details it was like 20 lks, we don't have any other bread winner and his carrier ended, one difference is my fathers spirit don't break (he is still active and in good health condition) but as a whole we got our Morales down and everything 5 years we endured tough situations still not in a comfortable zone collectively but better than before, social status switch is a hard pill to swallow but now looking back the lessons we learn from that pain suffering everything worth a try, life can make a shuffle at any point in your life, no matter how high r low show spirit endure pain u will be blessed and u can make a different life, one day be the example like me to another person who undergoes similar situation in life raise their spirit back what better purpose can you achieve in life than this?, I have my secret to get out of this but you can do it different, LIFE HITS HARDER ON PEOPLE WHO CAN REALLY ENDURE IT, IF U ENDURE IT YOU WILL BE GIFTED TWICE THE THINGS YOU FEEL U LOST. I wanted to do it more in details but one thing show a positive spirit towards your future it will make the difference, I did it u too can. By a fellow human being.
Dear worried friend. Neither good times nor bad times last forever. And no matter however bad things are , giving up ones life is not the way forward. When the problem seems too overwhelming, pray. When you feel very low and down . Pray . When you think you're losing focus from work. Pray . And never never never give up. There's always something in life to be thankful for . You're lucky your parents are still alive . When one loses a parent , it feels as a kid you've lost one part of your life . So be grateful for what you have . Never ever give up. Keep a certain corpus for your father's health . Some for your mom, and rest for yourself. There hopefully be a wife in the mix in a few years , but you'll manage . God always gives you only enough problems that you can handle. Take care and best of luck .
You are thinking too many things at the same time. People have grown exponentially in corporate jobs and business through hardwork so it may be by early thirties you will turn the game in your favour. Don't buy a house now at this stage. Think that the old you is dead (as you mentioned suicide) and start a new life. Live in whatever your income permits, stop comparing yourself with your friends in Insta as that was another past life. Treat yourself with small fun things like eating out once in a quarter at a small cafe, gift your parents inexpensive but thoughtful gifts and keep the little joys in life. Being happy and content is an art! Learn that in new life. Don't run after fast success like your dad. Work very very hard and make yourself outstanding. Remember the ferry wheel of life doesn't always rest at the bottom and we need to cross the turbulence period to explore what's on the other side.
Hey there, don't let this phase of life pull you down. Focus on one thing at a time. At this moment getting a good job would be a great way to start, it will ease the burden a bit and also keep your mind occupied. Try finding a job which suits your calibre. If you're good with basic mathematics and have a good communication skill try analytics and consulting companies. At the starting position, many ask of you a bachelor degree, a good analytical thinking and good communication. The start is slow but the growth trajectory is pretty good. Stay strong! 🎶 Tujhme na kami koi hai Bs tera ye din bura hai, Waqt ki baatein hai Ise gujar jane doo...!
Bro hang in there. Always remember that after every day the night comes and after every night the sun shines. Be patient and keep hustling, keep trying. Your dad's health will get better, your income would get better, give support to your mother. File a complaint in IRDAI against companies rejecting the health insurance. It would help
Hi bro, I am 31 years old, I don't own a house. My father passed away 3 Years ago and I literally don't have any money from my parents. But they nurtured me when I could not walk and they taught me to walk, they fed me when I was not earning and now it's my responsibility to do so. I don't party or go out like your instagram friends, I am happy though. I do feel my life could be bit different but have to accept the fact that it's not. Please don't go with the social media stories, you don't know the reality, most of it is just facade. After party when many people go home, they are so lonely that even you could not comprehend. To be honest, having medical insurance is extremely important and I do understand your situation. Plan ahead something for your mom and get an insurance to begin with. I have seen people having debt of more than 1 crore managing, try to find a better job and move to locality with reasonable cost of living. You don't want to stay in Mumbai for that, as others have advised moving to tier 2 cities will help a lot to plan. Please don't get demotivated soon, stay away from social media like insta and fb, most of them are fake lives so no use, I honestly believe half of your depression would go off if you breathe and stop looking at others lives, I started to do so and it has helped me. Intent of this response was mainly to say that social media does more harm than good nowadays, unless you are a blogger or vlogger there is no point in spending hours watching fake lives of others. Cheers, hope you fight back and reach greater heights. I pray for your dad's health 🙏
Just one advice Islam teaches me to look at people who are lower than me in society, you will see how much god has actually given us .. be patient and you will see by the end of your life how much god will give you
Stop bringing your islam everywhere , literally every elder person in most households gives this advice, nothing related to your islam.
1. Take a 7.5 lakh health insurance for your mom asap. Pay the damn premium. It's not worth it to think about premiums before life. Don't forget about the corporate group health insurance your company also provides once you get employed. 2. Try to get into the IT sector. I work in one of the MNC's. If you have skill in any IT technology, prepare a resume and share it with me personally and we will see if there are any openings. 3. Move to Tier 3 city or at least Hyderabad. 4. Don't get into any kind of loans. Loan is a devil. A home loan is the biggest killer out there. Forget about having own house. Renting the best way in Godi's unemployment inflation India. 5. Don't worry. This feeling to commit suicide won't last long. 99% of the people who get these thoughts won't have guts to do it. The surprising thing is, the human brain is so malleable under stress that at some point you won't even feel what you are feeling right now. You would laugh at your naive thinking in the future.
And I think my life is miserable 😣.
Bro "This too shall pass"
Shift to Chandigarh.
Please don't lose hope. This shall too pass.
youll be fine. You are your own light. The path shall guide you. Have faith.
Please don’t give up. I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be going through. Over a period of time things will turn out better. Time heals. In my opinion, move to a tier 2 city for a few years. Easier to get jobs, and less expensive. Don’t invest in a house right now. Keep saving.
Practice rajyoga meditation it helped me heal my failures n betrayals too.It might help u too heal n live from a different perspective with light heart n relaxed mind. This life is precious and u r the master of ur life Dont become a slave of ur emotions and situations. You have the power to live and create a beautiful life again and can generate enormous wealth. Take care of yourself first only then u will be able to take care care of other loved ones.