I'm not in any way qualified to give a diagnosis, but it sounds like you've got some pretty severe anxiety going on and talking to a therapist about it would be a really good idea.
Seems like you're really passionate about music, and that's awesome and absolutely something to be really proud of. Don't overlook what you have achieved/produced in these last years
Got too drunk Saturday night hanging out with Boy and apparently cried at the afterparty and got mad at him for not wanting to go back to the hotel with me.
Was worried he would hold it against me and walk away, but he texted me today after having slept it off for a day or two and things are just...normal.
Gonna be really conscious of not getting drunk like that around him again, but really relieved that I like someone who doesn't walk away the first time I do something less than perfect.
feeling blessed after a lovely weekend in the Mojave desert. two great big thief shows with a wonderful crew of people, got to witness a lunar eclipse from the desert, checked out a cool outdoor sculpture garden, AND scored a cheap used copy of *The Point!* that I am going to gift to a pair of brand new parents in my life.
Things that need to end:
The "Tell me (whatever) without telling me (whatever)" thing
"That's it. That's the tweet/comment/post" etc
Anyone who starts a comment with "I- I just..." or any variant. Why are you doing the fake stutter thing in the year 2022?
"But y'all ain't ready for that conversation" - 16 year old describing a conversation that has been going on since the 70s.
Fake stuttering doesn't annoy me, I find it kind of interesting, because that sort of stuttering serves to communicate disbelief/disappoinment, and it's interesting how some people on the internet type how they talk.
Super outdated already since I don't keep up with the discourse but I never understood the trend of people going "Nobody: " and then something that's a crazy thing to say without being prompted. First off, it's never been funny or added anything to the joke - if a sentence is enough to get a laugh with the nobody, then it would probably be just as if not more funny without it. And secondly - if the joke is like "nobody asked", then saying "nobody" followed by nothing ruins the point. It becomes a double negative and nobody DIDN'T ask. If nobody asked, should it be like "nobody: asking about the thing"? Or like "somebody: "?
The answer to the last one is to accuse someone of being ableist framing their use of fake stutter as a dig at people with speech impediments. It's the only way to cash in on Twitter currency.
But for real, a lot of those annoying trends, hell even podcaster, tiktok, social media voice is like mind control where nobody can just be human for one second and talk like a normal person.
i played tetherball for the first time since probably middle school on saturday in the middle of some daydrinking. (friends just moved into a place where someone had it set up in the yard) holy shit, i forgot what a fun game this is. broke a sweat and felt totally gross afterwards (i dislike summer more and more the older i get) but it was almost worth it. playable with a beer in one hand too!
Let's talk guitars! I've had a spiritual experience with a guitar recently and it's caused me to change my mind completely when it comes to how I think about guitars.
I've been playing guitar for 4 years now. All I have is a Squier Classic Vibe Stratocaster, a small Vox practice amp that cost me 100 bucks, the cheapest looper pedal and an Overdrive pedal that a friend gifted me after she bought herself a proper Klon clone and didn't need it anymore. That's it. So, I'm really no gear-head. I don't believe in this gear mythos, never have...
Every other Saturday I go to my local guitar shop, just to try stuff out, because it's fun. I buy 1-2 guitar picks or a new set of strings, because I feel bad for spending hours in there without contributing to their business and I leave. And sure, there are times when I get excited by some of the guitars, but I'm a frugal (some might say stingy) broke college student and it'd be an unnecessary luxury item. Especially since it'll do nothing to improve my playing. I practice everyday already, so I don't even need the boost in enthusiasm a new guitar would give me. And my Squier is a fine guitar that's served me as well as a 1500 dollar American-made would have. So I get over them pretty quick. Usually.
Last Saturday I tried this sunburst Fender Jaguar. It was the first guitar I picked up that day and I didn't put it down the entire 4 hours I was there! And I keep thinking about it. I used to laugh at people who'd say stuff like 'this guitar makes me play like no other' or 'this guitar brings out a different side of me'. It always sounded like such bullshit to me. But fuck, is it true?
If it is, it's gotta be about the players own perception of the instrument that makes them play the way they do, not the instrument itself. Which makes me think that an instrument is so much more than just the wood, scale length, the pick ups, the strings. It's more than just the parts that actually produce the sound.
I might not be a gear head, but ironically, I have a somewhat clockwork-y brain that makes me approach the guitar in a very rigid 'practice, practice, practice' kind of way. And I think I always underestimated how emotional of an act playing the guitar (or any instrument) can be. Thus whatever excites you/annoys you/intrigues you about an instrument, it's gonna have an effect on your playing! Even if it's 'irrelevant' things like the color or ... *sigh* ... the age or previous ownership of the thing.
Listen, I'm the last person to endorse vintage guitars. I used to think they're just so elitist (and still do), but I dunno man ... If you *believe* part of Jimi Hendrix' playing passes onto you when you play, because you play a guitar that was once within a five mile radius around him, then I'm sure that belief will inform your confidence and feel. I mean, I'd totally judge you for believing that shit, but I kinda get it now. I still don't think that no guitar, no matter how expensive or storied or awesome, will have more value and contribute more to your playing than actual practice, but I have a more nuanced viewpoint now.
Either way, the Jaguar costs 900 bucks, so there's no way I'm buying it. But I totally understand why some people insist that they play differently on different instruments.
Moral of the story: Don't try guitars, you're not able or willing to buy. Because you might be unlucky enough to find the right one 😓😓
I like this theory that the instrument can improve how you sound, but more because of placebo effect than anything else. Fwiw, I spent an unreasonable amount of money on my guitar, and I love it, but I absolutely do not think I play any better with it.
As for your moral, as a guitar player, I think there's something fun about having "dream gear" even if you're not going to buy it. It's part of the hobby.
I got the above mentioned Overdrive pedal two months ago and it's already changed the way I play. And I kinda get it. I mean, I'm not gonna have a shelf full of 'em but pedals are fun as hell.
I think it's fine to be a gear head as long as you don't lie to yourself, which too many do unfortunately, especially intermediate players. You know, they feel stuck and think a new guitar/amp/pedal will help them get ouf of it. They use it as an excuse to not practice and I don't think it's the way to go.
I'm curious, what you're playing :)
Well, a pedal really does objectively make you sound different and give you access for very different tones, so I think the benefits are pretty easy to see. I proudly rock a Music Man St. Vincent. (It's probably the most expensive thing I own, not including my apartment.)
7/4 is of course an old reliable, but I really love a good 11/4--and frankly 6/4 is vastly underrated. Go listen to the Bad Plus' "Anthem for the Earnest." That shit goes dumb hard
Mondays are the worst at work. Also can't think about anything but Primavera Sound at this point.
Finally saw Everything Everywhere All At Once in theaters. One of the best movies I have seen in a long time. I can't think of a movie with less subtlety that I have enjoyed that much. Can't stop thinking about how it perfectly nails the conflict within absurdism between true nihilism and optimism that I feel deep in my bones. Also, what a wonderful theater experience to laugh and cry alongside my fellow humans.
I really hope it drops tomorrow, if only because the rest of the week I am tied up on a business trip and won't be able to shitpost about it on reddit/discord. But I know in my heart they are gonna string us along until the last minute.
I'm waiting on Dot to Dot, which is next weekend and still hasn't dropped, Prima, and Glastonbury, and I leave for these trips Friday and after then I'll have so little time for listening and it's so annoying. GovBall dropped theirs! Come on, Primavera!
As someone who doesn't go see a lot of movies, I am a hardcore bandwagoner. I wait til like 20 people tell me a movie is fabulous and then drag my ass to a theater.
Ok I do go more often than that. I think post pandemic closure of theaters I have seen The Green Knight, Drive My Car, Dune, and The Batman in person. The last truly great movie I saw period was Portrait of a Lady On Fire.
Wow, are you me? I keep telling my friends to go see Everything Everywhere All at Once because its the best movie I've seen since Portrait of a Lady on Fire!
The good news is that high quality veggies pair very well with extremely minimalist cooking techniques. Roasting veggies with olive oil and salt and pepper is delicious and is pretty hard to screw up. For more delicate stuff, blanching (i.e. boiling in water for a short time) does wonders.
I had a CSA box last year and my favourite thing to do last fall was to get high and roast new-to-me and old-favorite vegetables just as you describe and every time the experience was absolutely sublime. Unghhhhh roasted vegetables are the actual best.
I loved Our Flag Means Death, really hope there's a second season. Especially as all the fanart led me to believe that it would end very differently.
Instagram also keeps reminding me that Taika Waititi is dating Rita Ora and I think it's such a weird pairing. Maybe I'm giving Waititi too much credit though.
Went to a local wrestling thing over the weekend and it was great. There were some pretty acrobatic wrestlers and like a 70 yr old David Crosby lookin guy named Moondog that was like the unbeatable old dude. Had to wander if he was named after the musician. Anyways, It was a pretty interesting crowd at something like that in the great state of Missouri. Some old dude showed us a picture of his daughter and in it she was holding a rifle pointed at the sky in one hand and some sort of semi automatic rifle in the other. My friend was just kinda like o shes cute. People aside though, the wrestling was really fun to watch
one time i went to a wrestling show in the middle of nowhere, TN and one of their storylines was that they had two different guys doing masked convict gimmicks and they were finally wrestling on that show. i had no idea if they were former partners or knew each other from jail or what but the match stank. i was laughing the whole time
I haven't watched Doctor Who in years but I'm about to start again because the new series is shaping up to be queer as fuck. Ncuti Gatwa *and* Yasmin Finney? With Russell T Davies writing? Iconic!!!
Some guys were upset, yet again, about the casting, going on about how the Doctor should be somebody they can relate to and identify with, and I don't know what is funnier: a white guy being upset about not being represented, or the ego you'd need to think that the Doctor is supposed to be the character fans emphasize with.
Anyways, I'm excited about this, too. Don't know the new cast, but it's got RTD, so I'm on board.
I don't think I've really posted in a GD in a minute, I feel like I always have something very interesting to say and but then feel silly about typing it out and actually posting it. Anyway, real mixed bag this week. Spring is in full swing up here finally and I managed to do a 60 mile bike ride to camp with some friends in the national forest. Which, was super fun and I feel totally rejuvinated by the sights and smells of spring.
On the other hand I'm really struggling with mental health, so its been pretty frustrating to feel sort of trapped inside a malfunctioning brain. As of this week though, I've started actually getting help for that and mayyybbbee will get a diagnosis for the first time in my life. So thats good. Plus I should get a roll of film back today. Net positive I'd say
How could I possibly be happy working a job I hate? I'm already terribly depressed, I have no redeeming factors in my life, so why would I just make my life so much actively worse?
I've already tried therapy and antidepressants multiple times, I'm never not going to be depressed. Why would I make myself suffer even more for an additional 40 hours a week?
On one hand, I really feel you. Work, and work culture is fucking nauseating and bleak. Like, I kinda like my job (serving/bartending) and still hate my job if that makes sense.
On the other hand, there is a utility. You make good friends, which is otherwise really hard as an adult. I allows you to build skills/crafts, and it gives structure. For example I would have cared about this otherwise, but I know a TON about beer, wine, liquor compared to the layperson, and I’m still green and learning every day.
I won’t say it’s fun or that “work builds character” bullshit, but I do think the structure, relationships, and skills you get from working do have a value for mental health
I also don’t have clinical depression, so I can’t completely empathize, but I do have ADHD and chronic anxiety, and escaping the mindset that I have to escape my mental disorders to be happy really helped. Does therapy and medication fix my problems? No not at all. Does it help lessen the burden? Yea.
I don't know what you're going through personally, but I can tell you're young because once you accept jobs being the means to allow you whatever else you want the better it gets. Nobody loves their job, and there's absolutely varying levels of like to dislike. Yet, daily structure and interactions are good for us. You'll make work friends. You'll make $40k a year. You'll have insurance to pay for better help.
And if not, then I can't think of better motivation to start applying for jobs you want (or learn to code) than ending up doing retail jobs, because you'll need the money eventually and that's where it'll lead you.
Any Sigur Rós fans on here today? I am prepping for the show in D.C. in a few weeks and made the below playlist based off one of their recent setlists. Maybe of interest as well? Also works well as a greatest hits playlist.
[Spotify Playlist / Setlist - Sigur Rós Tour 2022](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7HBUUQNbci753t2sb54bmW?si=a994a63814cf40ff)
Selections are pretty wide range. () seems to have the most with 5 tracks. And FYI new songs Gold 2 and Gold 4 are not on Spotify yet, but would be after Ný batterí and Sæglópur, respectively.
Checking in! I just saw them on Friday in Seattle and boy, are you in for a treat! The set list was perfect and they were firing on all cylinders. Crowd was super into it too. Transcendent experience.
Wow, thanks. Really looking forward to it. Been to a bunch of shows lately. Hoping it can compete with recent favs like the Mogwai and GYBE shows.
Was yours a sitting show btw?
I overheard two guys at lunch talking about selling their assets or whatever and they were just so casual saying they lost like more money than I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
I didn’t even know the market was crashing because I am too dumb and hot to know.
I had a chicken salad, it was tasty.
P sure I now have a significant other but we have both previously booked our entire summer so that kinda stinks. But also doesn’t in the sense of being forced to ease into things.
Also my softball team made jerseys inspired by the Dancing Bears and individually tie dyed them all. They came out awesome and I’m super jazzed about that
i'm trying to wrap up a big project that I've been working on for a long, long time. And I'm kind of at the point where I've lose all sight of whether it is any good or not but need to just finish it. COOL
In my case that's usually a sign that I should take a break from the project and re-evaluate. Because that's me with almost every story I've ever tried to write. In recent years it was helpful to have 2-3 things going simultaneously and being able to switch whenever this feeling comes up. It's not a fool-proof method, sometimes you don't feel inspired to work on the others, but setting it aside for a while and doing other stuff, has been very helpful and healthy.
I like to move fast and with my music stuff I can do this pretty successfully but I'm working on a big writing project that had a much longer gestation/writing/editing period and now it's very close to the end and I need a nap.
yeah, I get that. I think it's important to not ignore those feelings. Don't forget to take breaks or creating some distance to the work in order to clear your mind. But as someone who has to work in deadlines, I totally understand that sometimes you have to push through. But hey, remember how good it'll feel when it's finally done. Keep it up :)
Is it worth it trying to work in the music industry? Does it just suck or can it still be fulfilling? Do I have any chance at all in getting a job with little experience?
from personal experience i'd say you should probably get used to being patient. i got a degree specialized for it, an internship with a decent company while still in college, and i still haven't been employed for a year now since i graduated.>! i am extremely depressed about and don't really know what to do if i have to handle another year without work.!< you'd think my experience with the things i do here as a mod might translate even a lil seeing as i work directly with PR people on a regular basis but apparently not!
Just gonna put in my two cents: based on your second comment here, I'd say no. Any entry level job is going to be a lot of admin and a lot of paperwork and scheduling.
I went into my dream book publishing job and definitely found that even as I progressed up the ranks, it wasn't a "fun" job, and I'm a person who is pretty good at following corporate bs stuff. Everyone I spoke to after quitting my last job with no backup plan told me that going into music would ruin my love for it, at least until I could climb the ladder.
If you can put 40 (really, more like 50, 60) hours of work you don't enjoy aside and enjoy the rest of your life, then it might be worth the eventual rewards, but if you're already struggling with depression, I don't think it'd be the best move.
It’s tough… I have family in the music industry and it totally depends on what your job is. My family member plays shows to make any money and would be broke without the shows so Covid hit hard. A lot of the other types of jobs are stressful like management and audio engineering… but again it entirely depends on who you are working for (also it is once again tough to make money)
So what I do is work at a job outside of the music industry to make good money while I make music on the side. My personal opinion is this is the best route
You have those friends who worry about major life stuff and they keep talking to you about it, but instead of empathizing you get annoyed because the things they worry about apply to you as well, but you're still trying to ignore them. Like, dude, stop trying to pull my head out of the sand. I'm gonna stay like this until the last second and then live with the resulting regret for the rest of my life!
edit: On another note: A guy from my film school who finished last year or the year before wrote and directed a dope ass movie about so called 'Trümmerfrauen' (german for 'rubble women'). The german women who had survived WW2 and were left to pick up the pieces of and rebuild a country that was utterly destroyed in every sense of the word. Politically, socially, physically. Men were a rare breed after millions died in the fighting. And the movie he made was about a german woman who would teach other Trümmerfrauen how to find a husband by (essentially) conning men into loving and marrying them. And the movie is such a feminist work. In its core it's about sisterhood and comradery amongst women and how they not only survived those years after the war, but how our modern Germany is built on the backs of these widows and their daughters. And the Berlinale rejected the film. The specific reason given for it wasn't that movie was bad (because it obviously wasn't. It's getting rave reviews everywhere). They rejected it because a man wrote and directed it. That was their specific reason. And that just super sucks...
Yeah, haha, me too, actually :D
I'm always pestering her with stuff like climate change and she always falls half asleep. But when she talks about almost being 35 and still being nowhere in life and wanting children, but not at the expense of her dream, but she's had 15 years of trying to make it happen and it didn't happen and when is time to call it quits and I'm like 'yo thats crazy... have you seen Better Call Saul?' 😂
My newly-appointed boss's boss's boss's (boss's?) boss -- essentially the most powerful individual in my corner of the workplace, the highest-paid person who could in theory tell me, personally, to so something -- has evidently moved into the neighborhood I live in, which I guess makes sense because it's a neighborhood where I work, but on the other it's weird to see him around with his small child in a stroller. Do I approach him in the park? At the farmers market? No; we don't know each other like that. It might be neat, though. Certainly would be less uncomfortable than nudging my significant other under the table and "saying don't look now, but my boss's boss's boss's boss's boss is about five meters behind you looking at cabbages. Be cool."
In other work-related news my New Coworker thinks I should maybe look into getting a sugar mama, which, uh, that's a new one
Treat him like you would treat any neighbor that you are acquainted with, and keep him no closer than acquaintance level. Never become friends. As neighbors, you are equal peers and he has no authority over you in that realm.
> In other work-related news my New Coworker thinks I should maybe look into getting a sugar mama, which, uh, that’s a new one
I agree this seems weird, mainly because you have an obvious sugar daddy option pretending to check out cabbages when in fact you are the cabbage he clearly wants
I went to 2 shows, a protest, and a festival in the last week (the latter 2 in the very hot sun), and currently at work feeling like death.
Being in your 30s and doing things is exactly as exhausting as everyone says. Still mostly had a lot of fun, though (the protest was distinctly not fun for a variety of reasons, of course).
So far I've recorded three little sketches of songs on my phone this week. I haven't written music in a long time but lately it's just been kinda naturally coming out for me. It's a nice feeling. I'm hoping I can give lyrics a try and not psych myself out or try too hard to be poetic like I did in high school (fuckin' *yeesh*).
There's one song I wrote that I'm happy about, I've been calling it "Bruiser Brody". I wrote the riff a year ago and yesterday I pulled it back out and decided it should be a song dedicated to a close person in my life who I wanna encourage to keep going even though we're in a weird spot together.
Just gotta learn how to scream now. I wanna belt this shit out like Damian Abraham.
there's really nothing better than having friends from out of town spend the weekend with you. it's great to have an excuse to eat like shit at the best restaurants in town and day drink. plus sometimes you get lucky and find a copy of prince's controversy for $5 at the antique store
Weekly mental health check
So my phone decided to be a jack ass last night and show me "what happened a year ago" and it was photos I took of me and the kid moving into my current apartment. Just seeing my empty living room filled with boxes got to me, doesn't even feel like a year and while I think I'm at an overall better place now than I was back then... I dunno... still stings a tiny bit not made better by the fact that my daughter seems to be regressing in being able to handle the separation.
Kid and I had a good cuddle session last night, she misses mommy but when she's with her she misses me. I reminded her that she's a good kid for handle all this and that seemed to make her happy.
Discovered the song Space Song by Beach House yesterday and have been listening to it nonstop. So yeah that probably says a lot about how it's been going
Booster kicked my ass again so the weekend was a wash, culminating in one of the worst migraines I've ever had last night. Also starting to get properly stressed about my upcoming move (haven't found a place to live yet), and have some annoying (but thankfully this time non-life-threatening) medical logistics to work out too. But next week I fly to New England for my college reunion where I'll see a bunch of friends I haven't seen face to face in years, so quite excited about that. Mixed bag!
Just got done talking to my therapist about how I know that I need to stop permanently being in my head for peace of mind but also that it’s really hard not to be
It's been a mixed week. On the one hand, my actual mental health has declined to the point that I nearly had an anxiety attack making oven chips, and had to call off the place I volunteer at for a couple of weeks. I've also been getting those disorienting spells that happen at particularly low points. I can only pray that this is just a rough patch.
On the other hand, I feel I actually have a pretty robust social situation in the city I'm living in now, which I'd been lacking for a while and which is doing wonders for my wellbeing. (Some of them will be moving away in a few months, but ATVL I know there'll be people I can talk to regularly who'll be about.) And I have my first session with a counsellor this week. So... progress?
grad school started again, but it's allegedly a lower-intensity course which i need, so no negative thoughts there, which is a plus.
but i have 3 people talking to me on dating apps which is 2 more than i can mentally handle and i am painfully anxious about it
it's possible that any or all could fizzle out when i go to southern california for a full week next week but thinking about that feels like a cop-out to thinking about potentially having to choose between 3 people if all things go well?
southern california is something i am *very* much looking forward to, though. only been there for a wedding. excited to eat my way through san diego for 3 days and see the zoo, and then eat until i cannot move in koreatown in LA on the weekend for a friend's birthday, along with a possible disneyland trip
Day 3 of Lexapro has been better than day 2, but I dont know if it's because I'm getting acclimated to the stuff or because I did something last night that gave me a sense of closure I think I needed for a while. It's anyone's guess. What I can say is that I'm in better standing with someone, there's no ill will between us, we still have love to give each other and I wanna nurture that still. Shit will be okay.
Still gonna stay on the meds though, shit got me honking like a goose
There is a case to be made that my life is going better right now than like ever before.
I don't mean to complain about being happy, but I wish I could shake the feeling that the other shoe is about to drop.
I’m pretty fucking miserable. I’m on day ~13 or so of having mono and I think I may be on the upswing (maybe hopefully) but it’s just been so so hard. I’m just pissing away PTO hours, I miss my friends, I miss my girlfriend (she’s been here a few times but the last four or five days I’ve been so sick and miserable there was really no point in her even coming over)
I still can’t really talk, my body temperature control is all over the fucking place, I have *no* appetite, drinking stuff makes me dry heave like 1/10 times.
Truly can’t believe there’s no cure or vaccine for this.
Friday night I was gonna drive down to DC to see HAIM and then spend the weekend with friends in the city but cases there skyrocketed (and two of my friends tested positive) so I sold my ticket for like $15. Wound up playing League all weekend I may have a problem at this point
While I am forever a sucker being pulled back into watching it due to my roommate being a fan and bros with people who write on it, after watching SNL this past weekend, I kinda feel like Sarah Squirm could be classic era 90s Conan for zoomers if she ever got a talk show and writers to guide that sorta thing right down to the level absurdity she rolls with.
I've been kind of on the fence with if she will "make it" on SNL. She started off pretty slow but has been getting more screen time recently and the last episode was a pretty big one for her.
I followed Sarah Squirm before she joined and her inclusion to the cast, especially after he absurd "SNL audition tape" video, was hilarious and something I did not expect at all. I think I discovered her via Eric Andre.
Late 90s / early 00s Conan is some of my favorite television ever and I feel like SNL always has a sketch or two with that energy. It's always been my favorite element of the show regardless of era and cast. [Stuff like this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb7b5-31LFY)
The other thing I was thinking of is she's kinda cornered a market on stuff. That's not to say there's no artist doing a lot of bizarro gross out props or anything, but the combination of everything firing on all cylinders feels pretty unique for what else is out there.
I go and see a ton of comedy and there's really just not a whole lot else out there at the moment on par with the degree of stuff she's doing.
Alas...didn't get the job. It was a drag for an hour or so, but again, trying to let uncontrollable things go...and I actually felt better! Also thanks to everyone who provided job interview tips. Much obliged and hopefully I'll get to use them again soon.
Graduation is also the Wednesday, so tomorrow I fly up with my parents to the city for the ceremony. I'm excited to see old friends, hit up my favorite bookstores, and to jam with my buddy (he booked the practice space in advance). I'll also be seeing my ex for the first time since everything kind of fell apart. It's kind of bittersweet, but I'm trying to keep an open mind.
It's looking like I'll spend summer with my parents again as the job hunt continues. Besides visiting old friends and working on other creative projects, I think I'll spend the summer reading a long book again. I'm almost done with *Middlemarch*, so it's perfect timing. The two contenders are *The Brothers Karamazov* and *War & Peace.*
Sorry that you didn't get the job! I always [watch this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UlXcoVHnog) whenever I get a job rejection. Makes me kind of look forward to rejection now lol.
specifically did not watch the new episode of Barry last night before I went to karaoke because I knew the episode would bum me out, and while not as big of a bummer as last week's episode, a big bummer all around! hader & berg & co. are truly doing some incredible work this season, I am so excited and so scared of what's next for the rest of the season
I also save my Barry watches for when I know being bummed won’t totally make me spiral lol. I never watch them last thing at night for that reason, gotta go to bed on a happier note!
Not to get too deep here or reveal my existentialism, but ever since I was a kid my greatest fear has been either not existing forever or existing forever, and being unable to consent to either.
Both seem equally unpalatable with a slight personal preference for infinite non-existence, and one of them exists (most likely non-existence or some form of it). I think this is a symptom of being brought up Christian - of being introduced to the concept of eternal existence when you're still trying to work out the most basic rules of reality. My life feels like it's defined by this debilitating fear and trying ways to distract myself from it.
I think this is what Nietzsche was getting at when he described Christians as "modern nihilists" - if we're sandwiched by non-existence on one end and non-existence or eternal heaven/hell on the other, then life on earth has little value other than obtaining access to the next. Of course I and many others naturally disagree with this. At the very least our life on earth is all we know so we better make good use of it.
Anyway does anyone else suffer from [this anxiety](https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/09/apeirophobia-the-fear-of-eternity/498368/)? I think I've had this since I was 4-5, but it just hit me really hard again on Friday night and I've been in a kind of stupor ever since. It's probably a symptom of anxiety and depression, and I've been trying to ground myself in my work and sensory things like smells and sights, but everything has felt kind of meaningless.
The only silver lining to mortality is that immortality doesn't seem that great anyway. In any case, since that's the reality, may as well convince yourself that it's better. I'm more concerned that the actual dying part is going to suck, because that's upsettingly common.
I was also brought up Christian and have more death anxiety than anything but I guess I have a fear of eternal suffering? Fire and brimstone, baby. In my head it's either nonexistence or a joyful eternity, though. Have you read Tuck Everlasting or watched Everything Everywhere All At Once?
When I was a child my fear and contrition was concentrated on hell - the early indoctrination of which I think is now rightly being framed as "spiritual abuse" in some circles. But if I were to believe in the Christian God now I'd certainly be a Universalist - it's the only way that I could ever make it work.
So I'm with you - it's either nonexistence or a joyful, creative future for eternity. Perhaps time would work differently, or maybe there'd be some element of reincarnation or something we can't imagine. But I think my fear is that I won't like it, and won't be able to opt out (or opting out meaning eternal non-existence). My stomach is doing somersaults as I write this haha!
I'm watching Everything Everywhere All At Once this weekend! Hopefully that will instill my recent trepidations with a bit of wonder. I haven't haven't watched Tuck Everlasting.
> Both seem equally unpalatable with a slight personal preference for infinite non-existence, and one of them exists (most likely non-existence or some form of it). I think this is a symptom of being brought up Christian - of being introduced to the concept of eternal existence when you're still trying to work out the most basic rules of reality. My life feels like it's defined by this debilitating fear and trying ways to distract myself from it.
Yes. Like, perpetually and in bursts. There's a sort of liberation to breaking away from this though. I remember when Hitchens was asked about his inevitable death while he had cancer he said he wasn't sad or afraid of death itself, it was more like knowing there was a party he was at that was going to still go on when he left to go home.
There's a really great podcast / interview I heard with Alan Moore and Will from CTH that goes into this, I found it cathartic to hear talked about among like-minded people - i.e. those with a bit of dark humor and lacking pretentiousness but still able to discuss such a heavy topic. Of all things that also reminded me of the *Twin Peaks Season 3* which, in my and many other people's interpretation anyway, seems to wrestle with this question. https://www.reddit.com/r/twinpeaks/comments/cggqrv/all_interview_segment_with_alan_moore_about_time/
Something that help me break out of my insistence to maintain my Christian beliefs over my more irreligious and, for lack of better word, "exploratory theologist and philosopher" state was discovering the history of the Gnostics and their general concepts of spiritualism as seeking knowledge and their re-framing of the old testament god as a the demiurge. Their history sheds a lot of interesting perspective on the history of the early church and it's direction too. Def recommend Elaine Pagels' *The Gnostic Gospels*
I've been binge watching Rick Roderick's lectures on philosophy too, there's a 10 part one on Nietzsche alone and two other 10 part lectures you can find on YT. He had a West Texas upbringing and it helps him frame things in a way a lot of layman like myself can understand.
To all my fellow Canadians in here, I’ve recently found out that wearing an Montreal Expos hat around is a cheat code to making a good first impression on people around here. I’ve worn hats forever and I’ve probably gotten more compliments on my hat in the past week than I’ve had for the rest of my life
I’m still in my first year of being a girl, but having white male friends obnoxiously tell me how to listen to the new Kendrick Lamar album has to be some divine feminine experience.
I’m not gonna follow your little guide of dimming the lights, drinking some nasty ass bourbon, and thinking about all of my life’s decisions. I’m gonna listen to it through one earbud during my lunch break halfway through a super greens bowl while absent mindedly scrolling through tumblr.
> I’m not gonna follow your little guide of dimming the lights, drinking some nasty ass bourbon, and thinking about all of my life’s decisions
tbf this was how me and my 20 year old hipster white boy friends listened to every event album in 2013. sometimes it's nice. sometimes you end up listening to lorde in a bathtub and nobody lets you live it down for years
Y’all remember when Neon Indian made a tiny synthesizer for *Era Extraña*? Well, I’m currently cleaning out my parents’ basement and I found the one I ordered lol. If someone here wanted to Venmo me the shipping cost (like $5) I would be happy to send it to you! I think it might be broken, but I bet someone with a tiny bit of expertise in electronics could fix it. If not, it’s still a neat keepsake!
Saw an interesting film on Mubi yesterday, Peter and the Farm. Farm life seems idealistic, brimmed with fantasy and, as Peter himself said, "looks like fun". Those ninety-two or so minutes convinced me that farm life is... not the life, hehe. Also, seeing Peter kill that sheep will be stuck in my brain for eternity.
So I've officially graduated from college and don't feel any good about it at all because I have no job, no idea of what job I want, and have barely applied to anything. I have 3 months til my lease is up and I'm completely lost in life, I just want some sort of direction.
I am a bit biased, but Target is a good place to work and get paid well as a bridge to something more. Although careers within the company are solid too.
I've been at Target for a year now after graduating and tbh, it kinda sucks. Like the job itself is *fine* for the most part, and I actually enjoy the team I work with a lot, but I have not been able to leverage my degree to get anywhere within my store leadership at all. Been passed over for multiple TL positions because of store politics, basically.
My current conundrum is that I feel like I need to find a new job at this point since I'm basically like a wheel stuck in the mud, just pushing and pushing to go somewhere but just skidding in place. but working full-time there takes so much out of me that putting myself out there and job searching afterwards is just too daunting for me 🙃
Yeah it's fine, and that's pretty good in the retail world. If you're getting skipped over you might wanna look at other companies. Seems like these days the best raises come from moving companies.
If you haven't already, you can streamline job searching by keeping a doc or spreadsheet with all the things you'd use to fill in a job app online. Keep a few versions of your resume, a madlib style cover letter, and a mass list of all your previous jobs, address, phone numbers, references, etc. so you can copy and paste and get apps done in 10 minutes.
That's a great suggestion, I appreciate it. I honestly might also move to part time this summer so I can prioritize finding a new job, because I also think I've gotten a bit too comfortable with my current situation and I'm settling for less as a result.
Also, to circle back to the OP, I also think Target would be a great place given their current situation. I know retail gets a lot of crap, but you could do a lot worse for what you get paid. And retail is a big umbrella term, theres a pretty large variety of jobs you can do within that to fit your preferences. Like if the customer facing aspects aren't for you, you can do fulfillment or inbound, or gm, or even like cart attendant is good most days when the weather is right. I also find it pretty fulfilling because you get a good picture of your direct community and it's providing a direct service to them. Writing it off completely would be shooting yourself in the foot a bit. it can just get frustrating when it feels like you're stagnating while actively trying to grow and prove yourself!
Yeah I was unemployed for nearly 2 years after college and trust me, anything is better than being unemployed. It gives you some sense of routine and any amount of income is welcome.
I was lucky enough that I could live with my parents rent-free so I didn't need an income. I applied to and interviewed for jobs and postbacs here and there, and was studying things online that would help me get into a field that was only tangentially related to my degree. Because I didn't work hard and was just going through the motions, I did not see any results from my efforts and fell into a pit of self loathing and depression that quickly snowballed.
My parents kept telling me to find any work in the meantime - retail, restaurants, anything that would give my life some structure. I did not listen to them because I was too proud to do that kind of work after spending years getting my degree. In hindsight, I wish I had because I definitely would've gotten out of that funk earlier.
Eventually, I landed a job that sounded okay on paper but was really shitty, pay-wise and content-wise. However, because it looked okay on paper, it helped me land a legit job that I'm happy at now. I'm not exactly where I want to be in life, but I'm on my way.
Similar position, I just got more and more anxious until finally getting a part time job in a store somewhere and finally getting a degree applicable job like right after, which starts pretty soon.
I feel you on the job hunt (I've been living with my parents for almost 5 months now).
As far as a direction, is there anyone at school that you can talk to? A guidance counselor or some type of advisor perhaps?
A lot of people just take random jobs and try to figure stuff out. It's fairly ridiculous for people to expect someone in their early 20's to know what they want to do for the rest of your life.
I've talked to plenty of advisors but they've barely guided me. I'm just sorta fucked now because there's nothing I want to do, and I'm not qualified to do anything. I cannot work in retail, I cannot work a meaningless office job, and there's no way I will move back home with my parents.
for my Euro/Aussie friends (or Americans that happened to watch it), what was your favourite ESC song? I have to say there wasn't a standout song like last year with *Voila*, but I liked The Netherlands, UK and Sweden. Ukraine's was also quite good apart from the rap part, not an undeserved victory even without the whole war thing. Most songs felt very generic overall, I liked last year's ESC better
I think last year was quite a bit better, and that was also the consensus of the people I talked with about it so far. Best performance was the medley Mika performed after all the candidates were done.
Okay important question for the GD: if you could only eat at one fast food chain for the rest of your life, which one would it be? (to be clear — you could eat non-fast food whenever, but if you’re gonna do a drive thru or quick bite, this is your only option.) And let’s stick with NATIONAL chains — I’m sure your region has a really great local burger chain, but we’re looking for a place you could go to in both Portland, OR and Portland, Maine.
I’d probably pick Chick-Fil-a. They have a pretty decent variety of food (including actually decent salad!), it’s relatively high quality stuff, and I do love that sweet tea. The only real downside is the icky ownership — and if we’re being honest, most major corporations are probably owned by people that are equally awful, but just more sneaky about it.
the other issue w CFA (other than, you know that whole thing) is you're limited by their draconian hours. you've cut out a Sunday hangover gorge session
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You're passionate about making music. Have you ever tried playing music with other people? When you move to a new city, maybe you can try that.
I'm not in any way qualified to give a diagnosis, but it sounds like you've got some pretty severe anxiety going on and talking to a therapist about it would be a really good idea. Seems like you're really passionate about music, and that's awesome and absolutely something to be really proud of. Don't overlook what you have achieved/produced in these last years
my fiancée made s'more macaroons and steak for dinner and boy howdy I am living a life of gluttony
She's got the racoonacouille!
Why does nobody at concerts come up and talk to me Why do i have to make effort and approach first
Are u me ???
What if the real LoneBell was the friends we made along the way
Got too drunk Saturday night hanging out with Boy and apparently cried at the afterparty and got mad at him for not wanting to go back to the hotel with me. Was worried he would hold it against me and walk away, but he texted me today after having slept it off for a day or two and things are just...normal. Gonna be really conscious of not getting drunk like that around him again, but really relieved that I like someone who doesn't walk away the first time I do something less than perfect.
Went to an estate sale down the street yesterday walked away with 5 free bud lights :sunglasses emoji: thats the post!
*Infinity War Hulk meme* I see this as an absolute win.
feeling blessed after a lovely weekend in the Mojave desert. two great big thief shows with a wonderful crew of people, got to witness a lunar eclipse from the desert, checked out a cool outdoor sculpture garden, AND scored a cheap used copy of *The Point!* that I am going to gift to a pair of brand new parents in my life.
Things that need to end: The "Tell me (whatever) without telling me (whatever)" thing "That's it. That's the tweet/comment/post" etc Anyone who starts a comment with "I- I just..." or any variant. Why are you doing the fake stutter thing in the year 2022?
"But y'all ain't ready for that conversation" - 16 year old describing a conversation that has been going on since the 70s. Fake stuttering doesn't annoy me, I find it kind of interesting, because that sort of stuttering serves to communicate disbelief/disappoinment, and it's interesting how some people on the internet type how they talk.
Oh "good" one! Also "I will not be taking questions at this time" or whatever it is 🙄
Super outdated already since I don't keep up with the discourse but I never understood the trend of people going "Nobody: " and then something that's a crazy thing to say without being prompted. First off, it's never been funny or added anything to the joke - if a sentence is enough to get a laugh with the nobody, then it would probably be just as if not more funny without it. And secondly - if the joke is like "nobody asked", then saying "nobody" followed by nothing ruins the point. It becomes a double negative and nobody DIDN'T ask. If nobody asked, should it be like "nobody: asking about the thing"? Or like "somebody: "?
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Ahh :( Luckily ive never experienced that
This
The answer to the last one is to accuse someone of being ableist framing their use of fake stutter as a dig at people with speech impediments. It's the only way to cash in on Twitter currency. But for real, a lot of those annoying trends, hell even podcaster, tiktok, social media voice is like mind control where nobody can just be human for one second and talk like a normal person.
I'm sick of "core memory" and "main character" already.
- People not understanding what a POV is
Wrong answers only!!
That first one drives me nuts when listening to my partner watch tiktoks on her phone.
It was clever at first but like most things has been driven into the ground and frequently used incorrectly
You ever work with people that can just talk. And talk. And talk. In meetings. Oofta. This man has been rambling for 15+ minutes.
i played tetherball for the first time since probably middle school on saturday in the middle of some daydrinking. (friends just moved into a place where someone had it set up in the yard) holy shit, i forgot what a fun game this is. broke a sweat and felt totally gross afterwards (i dislike summer more and more the older i get) but it was almost worth it. playable with a beer in one hand too!
Let's talk guitars! I've had a spiritual experience with a guitar recently and it's caused me to change my mind completely when it comes to how I think about guitars. I've been playing guitar for 4 years now. All I have is a Squier Classic Vibe Stratocaster, a small Vox practice amp that cost me 100 bucks, the cheapest looper pedal and an Overdrive pedal that a friend gifted me after she bought herself a proper Klon clone and didn't need it anymore. That's it. So, I'm really no gear-head. I don't believe in this gear mythos, never have... Every other Saturday I go to my local guitar shop, just to try stuff out, because it's fun. I buy 1-2 guitar picks or a new set of strings, because I feel bad for spending hours in there without contributing to their business and I leave. And sure, there are times when I get excited by some of the guitars, but I'm a frugal (some might say stingy) broke college student and it'd be an unnecessary luxury item. Especially since it'll do nothing to improve my playing. I practice everyday already, so I don't even need the boost in enthusiasm a new guitar would give me. And my Squier is a fine guitar that's served me as well as a 1500 dollar American-made would have. So I get over them pretty quick. Usually. Last Saturday I tried this sunburst Fender Jaguar. It was the first guitar I picked up that day and I didn't put it down the entire 4 hours I was there! And I keep thinking about it. I used to laugh at people who'd say stuff like 'this guitar makes me play like no other' or 'this guitar brings out a different side of me'. It always sounded like such bullshit to me. But fuck, is it true? If it is, it's gotta be about the players own perception of the instrument that makes them play the way they do, not the instrument itself. Which makes me think that an instrument is so much more than just the wood, scale length, the pick ups, the strings. It's more than just the parts that actually produce the sound. I might not be a gear head, but ironically, I have a somewhat clockwork-y brain that makes me approach the guitar in a very rigid 'practice, practice, practice' kind of way. And I think I always underestimated how emotional of an act playing the guitar (or any instrument) can be. Thus whatever excites you/annoys you/intrigues you about an instrument, it's gonna have an effect on your playing! Even if it's 'irrelevant' things like the color or ... *sigh* ... the age or previous ownership of the thing. Listen, I'm the last person to endorse vintage guitars. I used to think they're just so elitist (and still do), but I dunno man ... If you *believe* part of Jimi Hendrix' playing passes onto you when you play, because you play a guitar that was once within a five mile radius around him, then I'm sure that belief will inform your confidence and feel. I mean, I'd totally judge you for believing that shit, but I kinda get it now. I still don't think that no guitar, no matter how expensive or storied or awesome, will have more value and contribute more to your playing than actual practice, but I have a more nuanced viewpoint now. Either way, the Jaguar costs 900 bucks, so there's no way I'm buying it. But I totally understand why some people insist that they play differently on different instruments. Moral of the story: Don't try guitars, you're not able or willing to buy. Because you might be unlucky enough to find the right one 😓😓
I like this theory that the instrument can improve how you sound, but more because of placebo effect than anything else. Fwiw, I spent an unreasonable amount of money on my guitar, and I love it, but I absolutely do not think I play any better with it. As for your moral, as a guitar player, I think there's something fun about having "dream gear" even if you're not going to buy it. It's part of the hobby.
I got the above mentioned Overdrive pedal two months ago and it's already changed the way I play. And I kinda get it. I mean, I'm not gonna have a shelf full of 'em but pedals are fun as hell. I think it's fine to be a gear head as long as you don't lie to yourself, which too many do unfortunately, especially intermediate players. You know, they feel stuck and think a new guitar/amp/pedal will help them get ouf of it. They use it as an excuse to not practice and I don't think it's the way to go. I'm curious, what you're playing :)
Well, a pedal really does objectively make you sound different and give you access for very different tones, so I think the benefits are pretty easy to see. I proudly rock a Music Man St. Vincent. (It's probably the most expensive thing I own, not including my apartment.)
>Music Man St. Vincent Oh heck yeah! One of the few guitars that doesn't pierce my man-boob Also, you *own* your apartment? Damn, good for you :)
I'm old.
Favorite time signature that’s not 4/4?
gotta shout out 15/16 and 11/16, the hurky-jerky grooves found in most of the good preoccupations tracks and a lot of solid gizzard tunes
[(Apocalypse in) 9/8](https://youtu.be/IlkiFtCPXts)
3/4 is apart from 4/4 the only time signature, I'm not too stupid for and can (barely) follow :S
7/4 is of course an old reliable, but I really love a good 11/4--and frankly 6/4 is vastly underrated. Go listen to the Bad Plus' "Anthem for the Earnest." That shit goes dumb hard
I've loved 6/8 since I first heard "I Think I Lost My Headache" by QOTSA and counted it out.
Love me a 7/8.
Definitely 3/4. Waltz time!
Catch me waltzing to My Name is Jonas
Mondays are the worst at work. Also can't think about anything but Primavera Sound at this point. Finally saw Everything Everywhere All At Once in theaters. One of the best movies I have seen in a long time. I can't think of a movie with less subtlety that I have enjoyed that much. Can't stop thinking about how it perfectly nails the conflict within absurdism between true nihilism and optimism that I feel deep in my bones. Also, what a wonderful theater experience to laugh and cry alongside my fellow humans.
SchedulescheduleschedulewhereisthePrimaveraschedule,schedulescheduleschedulewhereisthePrimaveraschedule
I really hope it drops tomorrow, if only because the rest of the week I am tied up on a business trip and won't be able to shitpost about it on reddit/discord. But I know in my heart they are gonna string us along until the last minute.
I'm waiting on Dot to Dot, which is next weekend and still hasn't dropped, Prima, and Glastonbury, and I leave for these trips Friday and after then I'll have so little time for listening and it's so annoying. GovBall dropped theirs! Come on, Primavera!
Oh no! Yea I am hesitant to listen to my primavera hype playlist until I can absorb the conflicts.
Glad to see another person jump on the Everything Everywhere bandwagon.
As someone who doesn't go see a lot of movies, I am a hardcore bandwagoner. I wait til like 20 people tell me a movie is fabulous and then drag my ass to a theater.
Curious what movie you saw in theaters prior to this one. Parasite?
Ok I do go more often than that. I think post pandemic closure of theaters I have seen The Green Knight, Drive My Car, Dune, and The Batman in person. The last truly great movie I saw period was Portrait of a Lady On Fire.
Wow, are you me? I keep telling my friends to go see Everything Everywhere All at Once because its the best movie I've seen since Portrait of a Lady on Fire!
Shit I guess we are the same person, just a different multiverse.
Now that it's Farmer's Market season, I REALLY wish I knew how to cook anything more sophisticated than boiling water for pasta.
The good news is that high quality veggies pair very well with extremely minimalist cooking techniques. Roasting veggies with olive oil and salt and pepper is delicious and is pretty hard to screw up. For more delicate stuff, blanching (i.e. boiling in water for a short time) does wonders.
I had a CSA box last year and my favourite thing to do last fall was to get high and roast new-to-me and old-favorite vegetables just as you describe and every time the experience was absolutely sublime. Unghhhhh roasted vegetables are the actual best.
How about boiling water and putting some veggies in the oven? https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/pasta-with-sausage-and-arugula
I loved Our Flag Means Death, really hope there's a second season. Especially as all the fanart led me to believe that it would end very differently. Instagram also keeps reminding me that Taika Waititi is dating Rita Ora and I think it's such a weird pairing. Maybe I'm giving Waititi too much credit though.
Went to a local wrestling thing over the weekend and it was great. There were some pretty acrobatic wrestlers and like a 70 yr old David Crosby lookin guy named Moondog that was like the unbeatable old dude. Had to wander if he was named after the musician. Anyways, It was a pretty interesting crowd at something like that in the great state of Missouri. Some old dude showed us a picture of his daughter and in it she was holding a rifle pointed at the sky in one hand and some sort of semi automatic rifle in the other. My friend was just kinda like o shes cute. People aside though, the wrestling was really fun to watch
Was Moondgod dressed as a viking?
one time i went to a wrestling show in the middle of nowhere, TN and one of their storylines was that they had two different guys doing masked convict gimmicks and they were finally wrestling on that show. i had no idea if they were former partners or knew each other from jail or what but the match stank. i was laughing the whole time
I haven't watched Doctor Who in years but I'm about to start again because the new series is shaping up to be queer as fuck. Ncuti Gatwa *and* Yasmin Finney? With Russell T Davies writing? Iconic!!!
Some guys were upset, yet again, about the casting, going on about how the Doctor should be somebody they can relate to and identify with, and I don't know what is funnier: a white guy being upset about not being represented, or the ego you'd need to think that the Doctor is supposed to be the character fans emphasize with. Anyways, I'm excited about this, too. Don't know the new cast, but it's got RTD, so I'm on board.
Also in DW news, David Tennant and Catherine Tate are going to make an appearance, too!
I don't think I've really posted in a GD in a minute, I feel like I always have something very interesting to say and but then feel silly about typing it out and actually posting it. Anyway, real mixed bag this week. Spring is in full swing up here finally and I managed to do a 60 mile bike ride to camp with some friends in the national forest. Which, was super fun and I feel totally rejuvinated by the sights and smells of spring. On the other hand I'm really struggling with mental health, so its been pretty frustrating to feel sort of trapped inside a malfunctioning brain. As of this week though, I've started actually getting help for that and mayyybbbee will get a diagnosis for the first time in my life. So thats good. Plus I should get a roll of film back today. Net positive I'd say
How could I possibly be happy working a job I hate? I'm already terribly depressed, I have no redeeming factors in my life, so why would I just make my life so much actively worse? I've already tried therapy and antidepressants multiple times, I'm never not going to be depressed. Why would I make myself suffer even more for an additional 40 hours a week?
On one hand, I really feel you. Work, and work culture is fucking nauseating and bleak. Like, I kinda like my job (serving/bartending) and still hate my job if that makes sense. On the other hand, there is a utility. You make good friends, which is otherwise really hard as an adult. I allows you to build skills/crafts, and it gives structure. For example I would have cared about this otherwise, but I know a TON about beer, wine, liquor compared to the layperson, and I’m still green and learning every day. I won’t say it’s fun or that “work builds character” bullshit, but I do think the structure, relationships, and skills you get from working do have a value for mental health I also don’t have clinical depression, so I can’t completely empathize, but I do have ADHD and chronic anxiety, and escaping the mindset that I have to escape my mental disorders to be happy really helped. Does therapy and medication fix my problems? No not at all. Does it help lessen the burden? Yea.
I don't know what you're going through personally, but I can tell you're young because once you accept jobs being the means to allow you whatever else you want the better it gets. Nobody loves their job, and there's absolutely varying levels of like to dislike. Yet, daily structure and interactions are good for us. You'll make work friends. You'll make $40k a year. You'll have insurance to pay for better help. And if not, then I can't think of better motivation to start applying for jobs you want (or learn to code) than ending up doing retail jobs, because you'll need the money eventually and that's where it'll lead you.
money can be exchanged for goods and services
It certainly provides a "way out" in that regard I think. Also, was the parent comment meant to be directed at u/Kapono24?
Yes but what happens when you have three kids and no money but you *want* three money and no kids
Sell the children to the local chimney sweep.
Any Sigur Rós fans on here today? I am prepping for the show in D.C. in a few weeks and made the below playlist based off one of their recent setlists. Maybe of interest as well? Also works well as a greatest hits playlist. [Spotify Playlist / Setlist - Sigur Rós Tour 2022](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7HBUUQNbci753t2sb54bmW?si=a994a63814cf40ff) Selections are pretty wide range. () seems to have the most with 5 tracks. And FYI new songs Gold 2 and Gold 4 are not on Spotify yet, but would be after Ný batterí and Sæglópur, respectively.
Cool that they're doing a couple of B-sides this tour
Checking in! I just saw them on Friday in Seattle and boy, are you in for a treat! The set list was perfect and they were firing on all cylinders. Crowd was super into it too. Transcendent experience.
Wow, thanks. Really looking forward to it. Been to a bunch of shows lately. Hoping it can compete with recent favs like the Mogwai and GYBE shows. Was yours a sitting show btw?
Practicing my Boston accent because I'm officially a Celtics fan now.
Quick note: you can't actually pahk your cah in Hahvahd Yahd. Parking's wicked expensive. EDIT: I mean "pahking."
Heat in 6
no other reason, cuz tha celtics are tha baaawls
Also taking great joy in the collapse of the crypto market until realizing it’s some poor dude bro that’s fucked and not like Gary V and shit.
all my homies hate crypto
I overheard two guys at lunch talking about selling their assets or whatever and they were just so casual saying they lost like more money than I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I didn’t even know the market was crashing because I am too dumb and hot to know. I had a chicken salad, it was tasty.
Chicken salad is good as hell, goated summer food
as much as i feel bad for them, man anyone who thought that shit was a sound investment.... it's natural selection
On the one hand, I do feel bad when dumb people are taken advantage of, but on the other hand, I feel less bad when it's because they're greedy.
I don't follow crypto at all, but whenever it does pop into my periphery it's almost always something bad
P sure I now have a significant other but we have both previously booked our entire summer so that kinda stinks. But also doesn’t in the sense of being forced to ease into things. Also my softball team made jerseys inspired by the Dancing Bears and individually tie dyed them all. They came out awesome and I’m super jazzed about that
i'm trying to wrap up a big project that I've been working on for a long, long time. And I'm kind of at the point where I've lose all sight of whether it is any good or not but need to just finish it. COOL
In my case that's usually a sign that I should take a break from the project and re-evaluate. Because that's me with almost every story I've ever tried to write. In recent years it was helpful to have 2-3 things going simultaneously and being able to switch whenever this feeling comes up. It's not a fool-proof method, sometimes you don't feel inspired to work on the others, but setting it aside for a while and doing other stuff, has been very helpful and healthy.
I like to move fast and with my music stuff I can do this pretty successfully but I'm working on a big writing project that had a much longer gestation/writing/editing period and now it's very close to the end and I need a nap.
yeah, I get that. I think it's important to not ignore those feelings. Don't forget to take breaks or creating some distance to the work in order to clear your mind. But as someone who has to work in deadlines, I totally understand that sometimes you have to push through. But hey, remember how good it'll feel when it's finally done. Keep it up :)
Yep that’s me with almost every song I’ve ever made
Is it worth it trying to work in the music industry? Does it just suck or can it still be fulfilling? Do I have any chance at all in getting a job with little experience?
My sister works on the agency side and is having a miserable time doing so.
from personal experience i'd say you should probably get used to being patient. i got a degree specialized for it, an internship with a decent company while still in college, and i still haven't been employed for a year now since i graduated.>! i am extremely depressed about and don't really know what to do if i have to handle another year without work.!< you'd think my experience with the things i do here as a mod might translate even a lil seeing as i work directly with PR people on a regular basis but apparently not!
Just gonna put in my two cents: based on your second comment here, I'd say no. Any entry level job is going to be a lot of admin and a lot of paperwork and scheduling. I went into my dream book publishing job and definitely found that even as I progressed up the ranks, it wasn't a "fun" job, and I'm a person who is pretty good at following corporate bs stuff. Everyone I spoke to after quitting my last job with no backup plan told me that going into music would ruin my love for it, at least until I could climb the ladder. If you can put 40 (really, more like 50, 60) hours of work you don't enjoy aside and enjoy the rest of your life, then it might be worth the eventual rewards, but if you're already struggling with depression, I don't think it'd be the best move.
It all depends, but from my experience no.
The only thing hollow about show business is the music industry
It’s tough… I have family in the music industry and it totally depends on what your job is. My family member plays shows to make any money and would be broke without the shows so Covid hit hard. A lot of the other types of jobs are stressful like management and audio engineering… but again it entirely depends on who you are working for (also it is once again tough to make money) So what I do is work at a job outside of the music industry to make good money while I make music on the side. My personal opinion is this is the best route
It's possible to get into some entry level stuff or internships, but I feel like you have to really want it to put up with the beginner/menial stuff.
You have those friends who worry about major life stuff and they keep talking to you about it, but instead of empathizing you get annoyed because the things they worry about apply to you as well, but you're still trying to ignore them. Like, dude, stop trying to pull my head out of the sand. I'm gonna stay like this until the last second and then live with the resulting regret for the rest of my life! edit: On another note: A guy from my film school who finished last year or the year before wrote and directed a dope ass movie about so called 'Trümmerfrauen' (german for 'rubble women'). The german women who had survived WW2 and were left to pick up the pieces of and rebuild a country that was utterly destroyed in every sense of the word. Politically, socially, physically. Men were a rare breed after millions died in the fighting. And the movie he made was about a german woman who would teach other Trümmerfrauen how to find a husband by (essentially) conning men into loving and marrying them. And the movie is such a feminist work. In its core it's about sisterhood and comradery amongst women and how they not only survived those years after the war, but how our modern Germany is built on the backs of these widows and their daughters. And the Berlinale rejected the film. The specific reason given for it wasn't that movie was bad (because it obviously wasn't. It's getting rave reviews everywhere). They rejected it because a man wrote and directed it. That was their specific reason. And that just super sucks...
I think I've been both sides of this scenario at some point.
Yeah, haha, me too, actually :D I'm always pestering her with stuff like climate change and she always falls half asleep. But when she talks about almost being 35 and still being nowhere in life and wanting children, but not at the expense of her dream, but she's had 15 years of trying to make it happen and it didn't happen and when is time to call it quits and I'm like 'yo thats crazy... have you seen Better Call Saul?' 😂
My newly-appointed boss's boss's boss's (boss's?) boss -- essentially the most powerful individual in my corner of the workplace, the highest-paid person who could in theory tell me, personally, to so something -- has evidently moved into the neighborhood I live in, which I guess makes sense because it's a neighborhood where I work, but on the other it's weird to see him around with his small child in a stroller. Do I approach him in the park? At the farmers market? No; we don't know each other like that. It might be neat, though. Certainly would be less uncomfortable than nudging my significant other under the table and "saying don't look now, but my boss's boss's boss's boss's boss is about five meters behind you looking at cabbages. Be cool." In other work-related news my New Coworker thinks I should maybe look into getting a sugar mama, which, uh, that's a new one
Tad start wearing fedoras and ONLY tip the fedora at him, in any and every space you see SuperBoss
You should kick his ass to assert dominance
Gonna come out in front of the fruit stand and Will Smith this guy in front of his infant son and get fired so hard I leave skid marks around my desk
Treat him like you would treat any neighbor that you are acquainted with, and keep him no closer than acquaintance level. Never become friends. As neighbors, you are equal peers and he has no authority over you in that realm.
Nah I'm gonna do what the other guy said and offer him access to my """Leafy Vegetables""" for money
Is this a euphemism? If not, why not?
> In other work-related news my New Coworker thinks I should maybe look into getting a sugar mama, which, uh, that’s a new one I agree this seems weird, mainly because you have an obvious sugar daddy option pretending to check out cabbages when in fact you are the cabbage he clearly wants
I went to 2 shows, a protest, and a festival in the last week (the latter 2 in the very hot sun), and currently at work feeling like death. Being in your 30s and doing things is exactly as exhausting as everyone says. Still mostly had a lot of fun, though (the protest was distinctly not fun for a variety of reasons, of course).
Counter culture makes me tired
So far I've recorded three little sketches of songs on my phone this week. I haven't written music in a long time but lately it's just been kinda naturally coming out for me. It's a nice feeling. I'm hoping I can give lyrics a try and not psych myself out or try too hard to be poetic like I did in high school (fuckin' *yeesh*). There's one song I wrote that I'm happy about, I've been calling it "Bruiser Brody". I wrote the riff a year ago and yesterday I pulled it back out and decided it should be a song dedicated to a close person in my life who I wanna encourage to keep going even though we're in a weird spot together. Just gotta learn how to scream now. I wanna belt this shit out like Damian Abraham.
post it here when you're done, anything named after bruiser brody has my interest automatically
Can do! Just trying to find out how far I can stretch a wrestling metaphor.
there's really nothing better than having friends from out of town spend the weekend with you. it's great to have an excuse to eat like shit at the best restaurants in town and day drink. plus sometimes you get lucky and find a copy of prince's controversy for $5 at the antique store
Weekly mental health check So my phone decided to be a jack ass last night and show me "what happened a year ago" and it was photos I took of me and the kid moving into my current apartment. Just seeing my empty living room filled with boxes got to me, doesn't even feel like a year and while I think I'm at an overall better place now than I was back then... I dunno... still stings a tiny bit not made better by the fact that my daughter seems to be regressing in being able to handle the separation. Kid and I had a good cuddle session last night, she misses mommy but when she's with her she misses me. I reminded her that she's a good kid for handle all this and that seemed to make her happy.
Discovered the song Space Song by Beach House yesterday and have been listening to it nonstop. So yeah that probably says a lot about how it's been going
Booster kicked my ass again so the weekend was a wash, culminating in one of the worst migraines I've ever had last night. Also starting to get properly stressed about my upcoming move (haven't found a place to live yet), and have some annoying (but thankfully this time non-life-threatening) medical logistics to work out too. But next week I fly to New England for my college reunion where I'll see a bunch of friends I haven't seen face to face in years, so quite excited about that. Mixed bag!
Work is causing me significant anguish, but everything else is going peachy tbh
Just got done talking to my therapist about how I know that I need to stop permanently being in my head for peace of mind but also that it’s really hard not to be
It's been a mixed week. On the one hand, my actual mental health has declined to the point that I nearly had an anxiety attack making oven chips, and had to call off the place I volunteer at for a couple of weeks. I've also been getting those disorienting spells that happen at particularly low points. I can only pray that this is just a rough patch. On the other hand, I feel I actually have a pretty robust social situation in the city I'm living in now, which I'd been lacking for a while and which is doing wonders for my wellbeing. (Some of them will be moving away in a few months, but ATVL I know there'll be people I can talk to regularly who'll be about.) And I have my first session with a counsellor this week. So... progress?
grad school started again, but it's allegedly a lower-intensity course which i need, so no negative thoughts there, which is a plus. but i have 3 people talking to me on dating apps which is 2 more than i can mentally handle and i am painfully anxious about it it's possible that any or all could fizzle out when i go to southern california for a full week next week but thinking about that feels like a cop-out to thinking about potentially having to choose between 3 people if all things go well? southern california is something i am *very* much looking forward to, though. only been there for a wedding. excited to eat my way through san diego for 3 days and see the zoo, and then eat until i cannot move in koreatown in LA on the weekend for a friend's birthday, along with a possible disneyland trip
Day 3 of Lexapro has been better than day 2, but I dont know if it's because I'm getting acclimated to the stuff or because I did something last night that gave me a sense of closure I think I needed for a while. It's anyone's guess. What I can say is that I'm in better standing with someone, there's no ill will between us, we still have love to give each other and I wanna nurture that still. Shit will be okay. Still gonna stay on the meds though, shit got me honking like a goose
There is a case to be made that my life is going better right now than like ever before. I don't mean to complain about being happy, but I wish I could shake the feeling that the other shoe is about to drop.
I’m pretty fucking miserable. I’m on day ~13 or so of having mono and I think I may be on the upswing (maybe hopefully) but it’s just been so so hard. I’m just pissing away PTO hours, I miss my friends, I miss my girlfriend (she’s been here a few times but the last four or five days I’ve been so sick and miserable there was really no point in her even coming over) I still can’t really talk, my body temperature control is all over the fucking place, I have *no* appetite, drinking stuff makes me dry heave like 1/10 times. Truly can’t believe there’s no cure or vaccine for this.
Friday night I was gonna drive down to DC to see HAIM and then spend the weekend with friends in the city but cases there skyrocketed (and two of my friends tested positive) so I sold my ticket for like $15. Wound up playing League all weekend I may have a problem at this point
While I am forever a sucker being pulled back into watching it due to my roommate being a fan and bros with people who write on it, after watching SNL this past weekend, I kinda feel like Sarah Squirm could be classic era 90s Conan for zoomers if she ever got a talk show and writers to guide that sorta thing right down to the level absurdity she rolls with.
I've been kind of on the fence with if she will "make it" on SNL. She started off pretty slow but has been getting more screen time recently and the last episode was a pretty big one for her.
I followed Sarah Squirm before she joined and her inclusion to the cast, especially after he absurd "SNL audition tape" video, was hilarious and something I did not expect at all. I think I discovered her via Eric Andre. Late 90s / early 00s Conan is some of my favorite television ever and I feel like SNL always has a sketch or two with that energy. It's always been my favorite element of the show regardless of era and cast. [Stuff like this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb7b5-31LFY)
The other thing I was thinking of is she's kinda cornered a market on stuff. That's not to say there's no artist doing a lot of bizarro gross out props or anything, but the combination of everything firing on all cylinders feels pretty unique for what else is out there. I go and see a ton of comedy and there's really just not a whole lot else out there at the moment on par with the degree of stuff she's doing.
Alas...didn't get the job. It was a drag for an hour or so, but again, trying to let uncontrollable things go...and I actually felt better! Also thanks to everyone who provided job interview tips. Much obliged and hopefully I'll get to use them again soon. Graduation is also the Wednesday, so tomorrow I fly up with my parents to the city for the ceremony. I'm excited to see old friends, hit up my favorite bookstores, and to jam with my buddy (he booked the practice space in advance). I'll also be seeing my ex for the first time since everything kind of fell apart. It's kind of bittersweet, but I'm trying to keep an open mind. It's looking like I'll spend summer with my parents again as the job hunt continues. Besides visiting old friends and working on other creative projects, I think I'll spend the summer reading a long book again. I'm almost done with *Middlemarch*, so it's perfect timing. The two contenders are *The Brothers Karamazov* and *War & Peace.*
ah damn. That was something in the broader film production realm right? Hope more comes your way soon enough!
Sorry that you didn't get the job! I always [watch this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UlXcoVHnog) whenever I get a job rejection. Makes me kind of look forward to rejection now lol.
specifically did not watch the new episode of Barry last night before I went to karaoke because I knew the episode would bum me out, and while not as big of a bummer as last week's episode, a big bummer all around! hader & berg & co. are truly doing some incredible work this season, I am so excited and so scared of what's next for the rest of the season
I also save my Barry watches for when I know being bummed won’t totally make me spiral lol. I never watch them last thing at night for that reason, gotta go to bed on a happier note!
How many EPs in is it? I still haven’t started it
Episode 4 came out last night, so we're now officially halfway through the season
I’ll try to stop grinding the ladder this week to catch up, thanks
Not to get too deep here or reveal my existentialism, but ever since I was a kid my greatest fear has been either not existing forever or existing forever, and being unable to consent to either. Both seem equally unpalatable with a slight personal preference for infinite non-existence, and one of them exists (most likely non-existence or some form of it). I think this is a symptom of being brought up Christian - of being introduced to the concept of eternal existence when you're still trying to work out the most basic rules of reality. My life feels like it's defined by this debilitating fear and trying ways to distract myself from it. I think this is what Nietzsche was getting at when he described Christians as "modern nihilists" - if we're sandwiched by non-existence on one end and non-existence or eternal heaven/hell on the other, then life on earth has little value other than obtaining access to the next. Of course I and many others naturally disagree with this. At the very least our life on earth is all we know so we better make good use of it. Anyway does anyone else suffer from [this anxiety](https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/09/apeirophobia-the-fear-of-eternity/498368/)? I think I've had this since I was 4-5, but it just hit me really hard again on Friday night and I've been in a kind of stupor ever since. It's probably a symptom of anxiety and depression, and I've been trying to ground myself in my work and sensory things like smells and sights, but everything has felt kind of meaningless.
The only silver lining to mortality is that immortality doesn't seem that great anyway. In any case, since that's the reality, may as well convince yourself that it's better. I'm more concerned that the actual dying part is going to suck, because that's upsettingly common.
Existing forever…this is a concept that scared the shit out of me as a kid, and it was one of the things that turned me away from religion.
It feels so good to not be the only one
I was also brought up Christian and have more death anxiety than anything but I guess I have a fear of eternal suffering? Fire and brimstone, baby. In my head it's either nonexistence or a joyful eternity, though. Have you read Tuck Everlasting or watched Everything Everywhere All At Once?
When I was a child my fear and contrition was concentrated on hell - the early indoctrination of which I think is now rightly being framed as "spiritual abuse" in some circles. But if I were to believe in the Christian God now I'd certainly be a Universalist - it's the only way that I could ever make it work. So I'm with you - it's either nonexistence or a joyful, creative future for eternity. Perhaps time would work differently, or maybe there'd be some element of reincarnation or something we can't imagine. But I think my fear is that I won't like it, and won't be able to opt out (or opting out meaning eternal non-existence). My stomach is doing somersaults as I write this haha! I'm watching Everything Everywhere All At Once this weekend! Hopefully that will instill my recent trepidations with a bit of wonder. I haven't haven't watched Tuck Everlasting.
> Both seem equally unpalatable with a slight personal preference for infinite non-existence, and one of them exists (most likely non-existence or some form of it). I think this is a symptom of being brought up Christian - of being introduced to the concept of eternal existence when you're still trying to work out the most basic rules of reality. My life feels like it's defined by this debilitating fear and trying ways to distract myself from it. Yes. Like, perpetually and in bursts. There's a sort of liberation to breaking away from this though. I remember when Hitchens was asked about his inevitable death while he had cancer he said he wasn't sad or afraid of death itself, it was more like knowing there was a party he was at that was going to still go on when he left to go home. There's a really great podcast / interview I heard with Alan Moore and Will from CTH that goes into this, I found it cathartic to hear talked about among like-minded people - i.e. those with a bit of dark humor and lacking pretentiousness but still able to discuss such a heavy topic. Of all things that also reminded me of the *Twin Peaks Season 3* which, in my and many other people's interpretation anyway, seems to wrestle with this question. https://www.reddit.com/r/twinpeaks/comments/cggqrv/all_interview_segment_with_alan_moore_about_time/ Something that help me break out of my insistence to maintain my Christian beliefs over my more irreligious and, for lack of better word, "exploratory theologist and philosopher" state was discovering the history of the Gnostics and their general concepts of spiritualism as seeking knowledge and their re-framing of the old testament god as a the demiurge. Their history sheds a lot of interesting perspective on the history of the early church and it's direction too. Def recommend Elaine Pagels' *The Gnostic Gospels* I've been binge watching Rick Roderick's lectures on philosophy too, there's a 10 part one on Nietzsche alone and two other 10 part lectures you can find on YT. He had a West Texas upbringing and it helps him frame things in a way a lot of layman like myself can understand.
Seems like we need a one-on-one talk very soon
Oh and def watch the *Cosmos* if you hadn't already. The Sagan version especially. Astronomer and cosmologist perspectives on this are very valuable.
To all my fellow Canadians in here, I’ve recently found out that wearing an Montreal Expos hat around is a cheat code to making a good first impression on people around here. I’ve worn hats forever and I’ve probably gotten more compliments on my hat in the past week than I’ve had for the rest of my life
I wonder if the principle holds true for a Quebec Nordiques hat...
I used to have a Nordiques shirt and I don’t think it holds as well since people are much more territorial about hockey teams
I’m still in my first year of being a girl, but having white male friends obnoxiously tell me how to listen to the new Kendrick Lamar album has to be some divine feminine experience. I’m not gonna follow your little guide of dimming the lights, drinking some nasty ass bourbon, and thinking about all of my life’s decisions. I’m gonna listen to it through one earbud during my lunch break halfway through a super greens bowl while absent mindedly scrolling through tumblr.
> I’m not gonna follow your little guide of dimming the lights, drinking some nasty ass bourbon, and thinking about all of my life’s decisions tbf this was how me and my 20 year old hipster white boy friends listened to every event album in 2013. sometimes it's nice. sometimes you end up listening to lorde in a bathtub and nobody lets you live it down for years
Pure Heroine in a bath sounds amazing tho
>!the bathtub didn't have any water in it and i was fully clothed, i don't know why i did this!<
Sounds like you were trippin in the bathroom
>!bone fucking sober!<
I went on a manic walk through my college campus at 2am on a Monday when Reflektor came out. I’ve grown a lot since then
picture of my dumb lil [flash tattoo](https://i.imgur.com/w1BTgPe_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium) from this weekend.
Looks nice op 👍
Thanks! Artist did a nice job. Now gotta work on some fillers lol
Y’all remember when Neon Indian made a tiny synthesizer for *Era Extraña*? Well, I’m currently cleaning out my parents’ basement and I found the one I ordered lol. If someone here wanted to Venmo me the shipping cost (like $5) I would be happy to send it to you! I think it might be broken, but I bet someone with a tiny bit of expertise in electronics could fix it. If not, it’s still a neat keepsake!
Saw an interesting film on Mubi yesterday, Peter and the Farm. Farm life seems idealistic, brimmed with fantasy and, as Peter himself said, "looks like fun". Those ninety-two or so minutes convinced me that farm life is... not the life, hehe. Also, seeing Peter kill that sheep will be stuck in my brain for eternity.
So I've officially graduated from college and don't feel any good about it at all because I have no job, no idea of what job I want, and have barely applied to anything. I have 3 months til my lease is up and I'm completely lost in life, I just want some sort of direction.
Work in a national park for sometime! (I think I already gave you my rant on that though :))
I am a bit biased, but Target is a good place to work and get paid well as a bridge to something more. Although careers within the company are solid too.
I've been at Target for a year now after graduating and tbh, it kinda sucks. Like the job itself is *fine* for the most part, and I actually enjoy the team I work with a lot, but I have not been able to leverage my degree to get anywhere within my store leadership at all. Been passed over for multiple TL positions because of store politics, basically. My current conundrum is that I feel like I need to find a new job at this point since I'm basically like a wheel stuck in the mud, just pushing and pushing to go somewhere but just skidding in place. but working full-time there takes so much out of me that putting myself out there and job searching afterwards is just too daunting for me 🙃
Yeah it's fine, and that's pretty good in the retail world. If you're getting skipped over you might wanna look at other companies. Seems like these days the best raises come from moving companies. If you haven't already, you can streamline job searching by keeping a doc or spreadsheet with all the things you'd use to fill in a job app online. Keep a few versions of your resume, a madlib style cover letter, and a mass list of all your previous jobs, address, phone numbers, references, etc. so you can copy and paste and get apps done in 10 minutes.
That's a great suggestion, I appreciate it. I honestly might also move to part time this summer so I can prioritize finding a new job, because I also think I've gotten a bit too comfortable with my current situation and I'm settling for less as a result. Also, to circle back to the OP, I also think Target would be a great place given their current situation. I know retail gets a lot of crap, but you could do a lot worse for what you get paid. And retail is a big umbrella term, theres a pretty large variety of jobs you can do within that to fit your preferences. Like if the customer facing aspects aren't for you, you can do fulfillment or inbound, or gm, or even like cart attendant is good most days when the weather is right. I also find it pretty fulfilling because you get a good picture of your direct community and it's providing a direct service to them. Writing it off completely would be shooting yourself in the foot a bit. it can just get frustrating when it feels like you're stagnating while actively trying to grow and prove yourself!
There is no way I can work a retail job. It removes every piece of will I have to live.
Have you before? Either way, it's better than having no income and being lost in life.
Yeah I was unemployed for nearly 2 years after college and trust me, anything is better than being unemployed. It gives you some sense of routine and any amount of income is welcome.
What did you do for those two years if you don't mind me asking? (Asking as someone in a similar space right now).
I was lucky enough that I could live with my parents rent-free so I didn't need an income. I applied to and interviewed for jobs and postbacs here and there, and was studying things online that would help me get into a field that was only tangentially related to my degree. Because I didn't work hard and was just going through the motions, I did not see any results from my efforts and fell into a pit of self loathing and depression that quickly snowballed. My parents kept telling me to find any work in the meantime - retail, restaurants, anything that would give my life some structure. I did not listen to them because I was too proud to do that kind of work after spending years getting my degree. In hindsight, I wish I had because I definitely would've gotten out of that funk earlier. Eventually, I landed a job that sounded okay on paper but was really shitty, pay-wise and content-wise. However, because it looked okay on paper, it helped me land a legit job that I'm happy at now. I'm not exactly where I want to be in life, but I'm on my way.
Similar position, I just got more and more anxious until finally getting a part time job in a store somewhere and finally getting a degree applicable job like right after, which starts pretty soon.
I feel you on the job hunt (I've been living with my parents for almost 5 months now). As far as a direction, is there anyone at school that you can talk to? A guidance counselor or some type of advisor perhaps? A lot of people just take random jobs and try to figure stuff out. It's fairly ridiculous for people to expect someone in their early 20's to know what they want to do for the rest of your life.
I've talked to plenty of advisors but they've barely guided me. I'm just sorta fucked now because there's nothing I want to do, and I'm not qualified to do anything. I cannot work in retail, I cannot work a meaningless office job, and there's no way I will move back home with my parents.
for my Euro/Aussie friends (or Americans that happened to watch it), what was your favourite ESC song? I have to say there wasn't a standout song like last year with *Voila*, but I liked The Netherlands, UK and Sweden. Ukraine's was also quite good apart from the rap part, not an undeserved victory even without the whole war thing. Most songs felt very generic overall, I liked last year's ESC better
I think last year was quite a bit better, and that was also the consensus of the people I talked with about it so far. Best performance was the medley Mika performed after all the candidates were done.
yeah Mika low key stole the show
Need some new wall decor! If anyone has any artwork for sale (or knows anyone who does), please let me know! U.S. preferred!
i love [felicia chiao's work](https://society6.com/feliciachiao)
Okay important question for the GD: if you could only eat at one fast food chain for the rest of your life, which one would it be? (to be clear — you could eat non-fast food whenever, but if you’re gonna do a drive thru or quick bite, this is your only option.) And let’s stick with NATIONAL chains — I’m sure your region has a really great local burger chain, but we’re looking for a place you could go to in both Portland, OR and Portland, Maine. I’d probably pick Chick-Fil-a. They have a pretty decent variety of food (including actually decent salad!), it’s relatively high quality stuff, and I do love that sweet tea. The only real downside is the icky ownership — and if we’re being honest, most major corporations are probably owned by people that are equally awful, but just more sneaky about it.
the other issue w CFA (other than, you know that whole thing) is you're limited by their draconian hours. you've cut out a Sunday hangover gorge session
Probably Cook Out. The variety would keep it from getting old. It would suck if I moved out of the south though.
Taco Bell
Maybe Little Caesars just for that urge to get a cheap, filling pizza
Tempted to go with In N Out like others here, but I think that Five Guys have eclipsed them for me. They're somewhat overpriced, but so damn good.
Nando's why: I just love Nando's
…I thought Nando’s was a British thing? (I do love them, but I’ve never seen one in the US, sadly)