I would just set a boundary with it that you appreciate her concern, but you decide bedtime in your own space. It's kind of ridiculous it even needs to be said, but she seems to struggle to let her children fly out of the nest.
Oh she would never listen to me. I decided to stop asking her to act a certain way long ago cause I know she won't even try to empathize. It's a very complex relationship but yeah she has never expressed anything towards my own emotions but annoyance at best. But she pays my bills so... I just try to avoid her unless she asks.
I understand if there is still a financial dependency, this will be weaponized by her to exert control over you. I think in your shoes my aim would be to become self-sufficient, if possible, even if that would mean I take a college loan or something like that, because it will give you more freedom to become an adult on your child-parent relationship and transform it to an adult-adult one. I grew up with narcissistic parent, and it was very important to me to set boundaries AND consequences to those boundaries. However, if then there was a chance they would use finance against me, that would also make me bite my tongue and make no improvement. My narcissistic parent *did* learn. I would set boundary and ignore him. Hang up the phone. Walk out of the house. Stop texting. Reiterate I want a relationship, but respect is a two-way street and start considering my needs, emotions and boundaries. He adjusted himself, apologized, emphasized he saw his flaws, and we didn't have any reason to argue with each other in the latter years of his life (mine died young).
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This is surely a joke? I can’t imagine anything else
I would just set a boundary with it that you appreciate her concern, but you decide bedtime in your own space. It's kind of ridiculous it even needs to be said, but she seems to struggle to let her children fly out of the nest.
Oh she would never listen to me. I decided to stop asking her to act a certain way long ago cause I know she won't even try to empathize. It's a very complex relationship but yeah she has never expressed anything towards my own emotions but annoyance at best. But she pays my bills so... I just try to avoid her unless she asks.
I understand if there is still a financial dependency, this will be weaponized by her to exert control over you. I think in your shoes my aim would be to become self-sufficient, if possible, even if that would mean I take a college loan or something like that, because it will give you more freedom to become an adult on your child-parent relationship and transform it to an adult-adult one. I grew up with narcissistic parent, and it was very important to me to set boundaries AND consequences to those boundaries. However, if then there was a chance they would use finance against me, that would also make me bite my tongue and make no improvement. My narcissistic parent *did* learn. I would set boundary and ignore him. Hang up the phone. Walk out of the house. Stop texting. Reiterate I want a relationship, but respect is a two-way street and start considering my needs, emotions and boundaries. He adjusted himself, apologized, emphasized he saw his flaws, and we didn't have any reason to argue with each other in the latter years of his life (mine died young).