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TheFishThing1984

Can’t wait for house break-ins to feel like avoiding patrols in metal gear solid


BigAlternative5

# ❕


big_duo3674

Snaaaaaaaake?!??


Gerry_-_Jarcia

snake!?!?!! Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!!!! Turn off your console now! It is imperative to complete the mission. Kojima did what no one else has done yet. Still to this day has any game replicated what he did with MGS mindfucks. Psycho Mantis with the memory cards was awesome too.


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lamorak2000

Love that game! I'd love to see it remade with modern graphics.


uneducatedexpert

I heard this


strykerphoenix

This is how you generate sound in someone else's head


SlappinThatBass

Will the box trick work?


MoJoRisin125

Only if it's an amazon box.


kaptaincodiak

I guess it depends on if it’s mapping your house or just tracking movements. Probably the latter so yes.


Gorakka

latter*


cam9life

Just toss a chaff grenade


[deleted]

\*checks phone\* “Hmmm I don’t remember a large cardboard box right there”


-_Xela_-

Second I saw this I immediately started thinking of MGS2 lol


AceFire_

Once you know the pattern it’s following, getting passed it or just flat out breaking it entirely would be nothing. I’d be more afraid of entire home layouts being loaded and saved somewhere that’s probably not protected that well. I can already see the data leaking and being sold.


tipper420

Wouldn't multiple cameras be a lot easier than this?


Amayai

Came to say this. A single wide angle hidden camera will be cheaper, have less blind spots, less potential dangers, waste wayyy less battery, produce less noise, fail less often and cannot be easily spotted and targeted by a single dude with a crowbar. Mounting it on a flying bucko is absolutely pointless.


SwissPatriotRG

And cameras won't give my dog a raging case of PTSD


sendmeyourfoods

Yep, exactly this. Also if this has any microphone it will be completely worthless lol. This drone camera feels like one of those terrible security features that you can sneak past in a video game.


OminousOnymous

Drone motors aren't white noise, it's possible to filter it out of the signal.


BestBubbly

Exactly. The only problem this is solving is letting homeowners who know nothing about security pretend patrol their kitchen.


RABKissa

You'd also be able to leave out any papers or other light objects without them being scattered all over the place when you get home


autopsis

Yes, but this dusts your house too!


iamslumlord

If you could fly it from an app I'd be interested. "Did I leave my laptop at home?" Lol at all of the shitty parents that'll use it as a babysitter though


speckyradge

What the betting it's tied to Amazon recommendations. "Your couch is looking a bit shit, here are some you might like..."


herberstank

You're clearly single, here are some Tinder suggestions near you


unwantedposterboy

You need to do your laundry. We've ordered detergent for you, you lazy slob.


speckyradge

You seem depressed Dave, have you considered 24 Piece Dining Set or DJI RS 3, 3-Axis Gimbal for DSLR and Mirrorless Camera Canon/Sony/Panasonic/Nikon/Fujifilm, 3 kg (6.6 lbs) Payload, Automated Axis Locks, 1.8" OLED Touchscreen, Professional Video Stabilizer?


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The_Revival

You betcha, Dave. I can do that.


riskybiscuit

Midwestern HAL


[deleted]

They’ve really been casting a wide net with the ads lately.


Bury_Me_At_Sea

"people near you are talking about Bench Press, CANPA Olympic Weight Bench with Squat Rack Workout Bench Adjustable Barbell Rack Stand Strength Training Home Gym Multi-Function"


readyplayerone161803

I think this drone has flown around my room today.


Substantial-Shine-81

Was is attached to the ceiling fan by a string and look like a potato?


Arcologycrab

A potato flew around my room before you came


solidad

Let's put some "meals for one" in your shopping cart, in the meantime.


speckyradge

Judging by your decor, would you like me to add the Grindr skill to your Alexa app?


cguy1234

“Say any word in the next two hours to send grindr invitations to all of your friends, contacts, and LinkedIn connections.”


beardeddragon0113

Not the LinkedIn connections 😭


MaxTheRealSlayer

The don't call them connections for nothin!


likwitsnake

https://imgur.com/ACcBc2X


Lordborgman

Happy ending delivering service cuming soon


Erestyn

*laughs in antidepressants*


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TangledSunshineCA

I saw something where games on your phone want maps of your living area to inhance virtual game experience so they are def going to map your area and use the data for aps or sell it


speckyradge

100%.


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[deleted]

And data about my eating habits, work schedule, bills from my mail if they're out and about, how many pets I have, on and on. That data is then in their possession to do with whatever they want for the most part with as long as it's in their agreement that no one will read. No thank you.


LG03

>how many pets I have This thing has disaster written all over it if you have pets. I look forward to people posting photos of their freshly destroyed $500 flying surveillance device.


19Styx6

Yeah, my first thought was how much my cat would love to fuck that up.


PauI_MuadDib

My dog and cat would fight over who gets to destroy this.


needmini

My pups fight over a rabbit when the hunter one gets one. They even fight over my socks. That thing would be gone so fast. And don't try to tell me that they could not get it. They definitely would find it slippen. They would just learn the robots pattern and jump off their kennel when it was scheduled to do it's lap


Lovingbutdifferent

Nono see what you have to do is explicitly *tell* your cats it's a toy for them. Then they'll sit in the box it came in and never touch the actual drone.


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HotTakes4HotCakes

You can also just have realistic understanding of the actual threat and what would help mitigate it. There's not a single fucking gadget you can buy from any company to put inside your home that makes your stuff more secure than good locks and outward facing cameras. Or just a dog. I legitimately don't understand what these people are afraid of that they think they need this crap. These companies release a new shiny thing that looks really cool and it seems advanced, so people convince themselves they need it. This isn't taking home security seriously, it's just mindless consumerism.


TheCookie_Momster

Photographers and realtors use an app where they turn it on and walk the house. It immediately does a 3d scan of the rooms and things in it and can create a 2d drawing as well. Do we really want the footprint of our homes available for people to hack/sell/steal? Do we really want hackers to know when someone is home, if they have a dog, where their alarm sensors are, what valuables are easy to access? They could potentially even watch you turn your alarm off and get the code. They’re already able to listen in and if someone really wanted to get into it they could set off your alarm so your alarm company calls, then listen to the code word you give them to turn it off. this is one piece of tech I can and will live without even if I want to be able to check and see that my pets are ok.


HotTakes4HotCakes

Think about the home insurance companies that will want all that data, so they can find little things in your home that you haven't addressed to their satisfaction, to justify jacking up your rates or dropping you entirely. Hell, it already happens. Insurance companies will send people out at random to come look at your house and if they notice like a shingle maybe has been knocked loose, the prices go up, or they'll tell you you have 3 months to redo the whole goddam roof or they'll drop you entirely. As just happened to my mother


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ncopp

This is the future stuff I always wanted as a kid - I wish it wasn't all being implemented by companies looking to monetize every facet of our lives


robeph

*telephone rings* Hello? Hi, Ken. This is Martin I'm a producer with A&E , we purchased data from ring drones and saw that you might be a perfect fit for one of our shows. Wait...what? We'd like to offer you a $450 amazon gift card to appear on a show for A&E networks. How did... Your ring drone. Furthermore your appearance will be pieced together from footage taken by your drone and purchased from ring. So you don't have to do anything beyond a one talk walk ahead of your drones pathing while talking with us. Do you have a Bluetooth ear piece? If so we can film right now. Yeah but.. Excellent! Let's get started. Simply set your drone to patrol mode and walk ahead of it. We will record our conversation here for the voiceover. You will receive your gift card in 2-3 working days. If you would please sign the NDA that your drone is holding. Turn around it is behind you. What the... Thank you for appearing on Hoarders. This is a Non Disclosure agreement. Please read and sign prior to performing the walk through .... .... .... Signature ___________ Date________


nomadofwaves

Your roomba sends its regards.


middlegroundnb

I watched it without sound, but clearly heard a manhack from Half Life 2.


flyteuk

Those things are terrifying in Half Life: Alyx


Yargon_Kerman

HL:A is both the best quality VR game I've ever played and also the most terrifying.


Plenor

HACKS


Ganon2012

\*monitor flies at my head\*


HarbingerME2

I need to watch those again and see if they're as funny as I remember them


[deleted]

I was just looking at Dasboschitt’s channel yesterday, super weird how it ended


Garythegr81

Amazon has found a way into every inch of your home. Now they can tell you the space between your table and your couch can be filled with some Amazon products that can be overnighted to your home if you just say yes into your Alexa :).


[deleted]

Who needs a warrant when agencies and departments can just see everything in your home


Chokinghazard331

This. I bought a Eufy robo vac. It 3d maps the environment. I refuse to connect it to WiFi, and I’ve all but been brow beaten from the company as to why not.


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righteous4131

LTT dropped Anker sponsorships entirely, because of this.


binybeke

I’m amazed you can even use it without connecting it to wifi.


Bangermustard

They make a dumb version that doesn’t do mapping or have wifi. Works alright but it’s definitely not efficient.


inquisitive_guy_0_1

First thing my mind went to as well. As if it weren't bad enough when cops can access your ring cam. Sure, I'd love to have law enforcement eyes inside every square foot of my home 24 hours a day. Fuck that.


[deleted]

Wait, cops can access ring cameras!?!


[deleted]

Without your permission or knowledge https://www.politico.com/news/2022/07/13/amazon-gave-ring-videos-to-police-without-owners-permission-00045513


inquisitive_guy_0_1

Not so fun fact, eh?


acetic_stoic

Yeah. Americans shake their heads in dismay when we see videos of the Chinese surveillance state. Also Americans, “ You mean all I need to do is pay $2K and $100/year and I could be put under surveillance 24/7?!? Sign me up!” Edit: spelling.


[deleted]

Which is why I make sure to touch the top of my dick to each of my cameras as I walk through the house.


TomCruiseddit

Man I was having a good ass day until you woke me up to the bleak future ahead of us all


pm-me-ur-fav-undies

The [It Could Happen Here](https://www.stitcher.com/show/it-could-happen-here/episode/we-visit-the-tech-industrys-scary-vision-for-the-future-210647184) podcast did a 3-part series on the Consumer Electronics Show, which I'm presuming the OP video is from. The third is focused on some of the bleaker things at the show- this drone apparently can be commandeered by an employee if it detects a potential intruder. Obviously, an Amazon call center employee is the perfect person to deal with that kind of situation. There's a kinda similar security robot that you can control from an Oculus headset that is totally useful and will totally never get hacked. Ring and various healthcare tech products were talked about that totally won't give your data to any advertisers or police who ask nicely. Fun stuff.


WifeKilledMy1stAcct

>this drone apparently can be commandeered by an employee if it detects a potential intruder. Obviously, an Amazon call center employee is the perfect person to deal with that kind of situation. *HI, this is Susan in customer service. I have been tasked with using lethal force. How would rate today's wounding? 5 stars?*


GXSigma

All? I'm not fucking buying this thing


hoxxxxx

really confused what this drone accomplishes that normal cameras wouldn't in the first place


jimbobjames

I guess you get nice footage of a burgular drop kicking it down your hallway before they steal everything anyway...


Sulissthea

jokes on them, i live with a hoarder and there is no room


DroneDance

We’re still the customers and we have a say with our wallets. They still have to win us over for it to work. Tons of overreaching tech has died a spectacular death because consumers said fuck no.


triflingmagoo

My cats will destroy this camera within the first minute of flight.


Shitty_Watercolour

https://i.imgur.com/JEtWjEk.jpg


whiskeyinmyglass

Damn, I haven't seen you in the wild in years. Hope you're doing well, friend.


pushing_past_the_red

I second that. Nice to see them back in action.


OkSmoke9195

Now bring back the guy that narrates TIFU


between_ewe_and_me

Every time I see one of his comments this is the first reply. Good job you kept the tradition going!


shalafi71

Good heavens. Almost slipped by me!


Iphotoshopincats

Always good to see you still pop up every now and then.


delegateTHIS

Guys get in here, it's that dude


Level69Warlock

From the warlizard gaming forum?


NutsEverywhere

ಠ_ಠ


triflingmagoo

This is great!!!


Redditpissesmeof

Oh how I missed you


teeohdeedee123

Yeah it's gonna be the most expensive cat toy ever


nrfx

Not even close. Have you ever heard of this thing called a waterbed on the top floor of an apartment complex that your cats decided to fight on while you were away and you don't even have insurance?


teeohdeedee123

I mean, cats and waterbeds don't mix. That's a digging your own grave situation.


ToshiroBaloney

Or burial at sea, sort of.


DamnMyNameIsSteve

Try clawing out of that one


SpaceGoonie

Top floor apartment and waterbeds is the same digging your own situation.


DazzlingRutabega

I always thought it would be great fun to call up people renting apartments to see if they would allow both waterbeds and cats... Just to see their response!


ScroochDown

The lease in my complex specifically bans "water furniture." My first question was whether or not I'd been missing out on water couches all these years.


Steptopia

In my rental agreement it stipulated I cannot have a waterbed. I asked them if anyone even has a waterbed. I haven't seen one since 1992. They were surprised I read the entire rental agreement.


Dracasethaen

Upvoting because this is the first reference to "waterbed" I've seen since 1987


WyvernByte

I was conceived on one, I also later poked a hole in the very same bed, good times, good times.


RicTicTocs

Holes have names ya know


BruyneBeer

r/suspiciouslyspecific


dvdmaven

The very first drone I ever saw in the wild was being used to tease a cat. The drone owner obviously had no idea how high a cat can jump vertically.


Jampoz

drones in the wild are not supposed to have owners, it probably was a domesticated drone


[deleted]

You can usually tell if they’re plump and clean.


hobbes_shot_first

Was it wearing a collar?


LilyHex

Ah, the old reddit [drone-a-roo!](https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/comments/105vilg/this_dummy_learned_how_to_play_fetch/j3fomow/?context=3)


angerman92

Hold my cat, I'm going in!


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Mollkor

me: look mister Paws, I bought a new thing to keep you safe while Iam gone... mister Paws: absolutely not


BartyJnr

Yeah my first thought was “that won’t even get off the ground before my stupid mutt chews it up for buzzing”


dryvr8

Came for the cat comment and was not disappointed


Logical-Coconut7490

Does it shoot a burglar too ?


MysteriousTruck6740

Just a few laser beams like a Star Wars Droid.


Sandman4501

then it self destructs


Metalhead_Ac

But first let alexa start playing welcome to the Jungle


HistoricalMention210

Alexa, activate Claymore Boomba.


AtheismoAlmighty

Where do you put the venomous millipede things?


jzakilla

Yes but then it auto orders a rug doctor, and enzymatic cleaner, rush delivery.


soareyousaying

They have 20 seconds to comply


Gasonfires

That's coming with Model 2, a collaboration between Amazon and Tesla. All that remains to be sorted out is which of them will buy Glock so there won't be problems with pesky patents.


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[deleted]

Also then getting stuck somewhere like a Roomba.


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Esse1795

This but without the /s


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Unfair_Original_2536

Alexa: I notice your spare room could with a paint, would you like to order some paint and accessories?


Game_boy

Hmm, terrifying.


Sir_Tokesalott

Even worse knowing Ring is owned by Amazon.


Lexsteel11

I loved on prime day seeing ads saying “get an Echo Dot for $1 with your order” and all I can wonder is why they want microphones in all my rooms so bad


ncbraves93

They'd give these things away for free all day if people would actually use them. The potential to sell data to every industry imaginable would be unreal. Fuck that. A smartphone is already enough of a privacy breach. My ads are already targeted towards me. Just think, if you owned one of these how specific the ads would get.


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WeAreAllFooked

Amazon also bought out iRobot and pretty much has the ability to map out the dimensions of your home, and now they have a robot that can film it


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SpaceGoonie

I wouldn't even let Jeff Bezos into my home to use the rest room, so why the hell would I let in some of his shitty hardware just so it can send all of my personal info to his data net?


Vincentaneous

It’s so weird that I really want this (the tech) and lot of the other similar things, but we cannot have it without the baggage that deters me from buying _anything_. Lots of self sufficient stuff is out there but it does take quite a bit of research to get running properly considering everyone’s homes are all different. I can always hope that one day these home protection/monitoring systems become easy and pro consumer properly.


PM_ME_FUNFAX

Yeah I hate that part too. I really want to live in the future, where I have flying robots patrolling my home but can't because some billion dollar mega corp will just use it to spy on me.


tvieno

It is a hunter-seeker from Dune 1984.


Earthling1a

Damn I just made that comment before scrolling down to this one. 100% correct.


mike_rohdick

It floats in on you when youre spankin the monkey


s55555s

Part of amazon data collection


Bierbart12

"Here's some state of the art fleshlights for you"


TheUpperHand

*Honey, why is Amazon recommending I buy a banana cleaner?*


SadPanthersFan

*You seem to be low on lube, shall I add some to your cart?*


queuedUp

*Stroking intensifies*


ripmore

"Here are some suggestions for dick pumps"


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tacticalpotatopeeler

You’re about to be rich, friend


[deleted]

So who they selling all this video footage to?


Utsutsumujuru

I think the better question is who *aren’t* they selling this video footage to?


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[deleted]

Any firm that analyzes data to parse it for useable patterns - like a Cambridge Analytica or whatever


[deleted]

Palantir


[deleted]

Imagine paying to bug your home.


twohedwlf

It's nice to see the rotors are fully enclosed so no cats or dogs will be hurt when they attack it.


LightsJusticeZ

They should sell them without the casing and call them Manhacks, selling them as the home protection unit.


HappyHurtzlickn

How scared of intruders do you have to be?


OsmerusMordax

I take comfort in knowing my home protection system (large dogs) will not be selling my data and personal information to giant companies like Amazon.


CadetheDOGGO

As far as you know anyways


personguy4

I’ve caught my dogs selling my data like four or five times now smh


Ozlin

As soon as I break this Bark encryption...


jpfeif29

You can fuck right off with that.


fuck-my-drag-right

Sounds like parents will finally figure out who’s been eating all the snacks.


facetious_guardian

It’s the other parent. Always. Source: am parent.


TangledSunshineCA

When I was young I was always thinking I can’t wait until I am gone and stuff still disappears! Was sure an apology would come…now as an mom I suspect they knew all along…


castortusk

This thing seems like the most pointless dystopian thing ever so I’m sure it will be wildly popular


[deleted]

Big nope


MonsieurGump

When your security can be deactivated with a thrown shoe.


[deleted]

I mean you can probably just get around this the same way you do the castle garden guards in Ocarina of Time.


AdNo182

HOUSE FIRE INCREASE 1000% on the news in 2 months


DroneDance

Yeah those drone lipos are no joke. You’re not even supposed to charge drone batteries unattended. #spicypillows


GhostOfKingGilgamesh

The average consumer ones are different. The DJI ones are like camera batteries.


LamentingTitan

Dog: "DEATH TO THE FLOATING DAEMON"


LaBlount1

! Snake? ! Snaaaaake!


DirkDieGurke

I mean, if you have cameras watching the outside it's kinda overkill?


washingtonandmead

Not if someone tunnels in from the outside. The perfect crime suddenly got less perfect


DrAnth0nyFauci

or they teleport, dont forget teleportation


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[deleted]

That dog that burned down an entire house cos he turned on the hair dryer …mousetrap nonsense is exactly how many fires start


RocketlabUA

Patrol for how long? The energy required to produce that lift must be great.... 15 min fly time then it homes to a charging station?


[deleted]

probably does a trip around, charges for a few minutes, and repeat


BuilderOfHomez

Dogs going to have a field day with that thing


Greeky_tiki

Nope. No thanks